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> The Last Heir, FanFic
redsrock
post Oct 9 2007, 08:39 PM
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I hope you all enjoy the story and as always please leave feedback or a word of wisdom. I'm always looking for help and suggestions.



The Last Heir

CHAPTER ONE

The goblins were rushing in through the barn door, but they had no clue I was sitting up above on a rickety plank, ready to jump down and slay the evil beasts.

With my trusty spear in hand I dove down from above and struck one of the monstrous creatures to the floor. The others shrieked loudly as they charged me, but it was of no use. My skills in battle were envied by all and matched by no one.

One by one I sliced my way through the goblin horde until only the chieftain stood before me. He held his magical battle axe in hand with a furious expression, but I knew his intimidating stature was unreal. He was truly afraid of me and wanted nothing more than to run back to his smelly cave, but alas I was guarding the only exit out of my barn.

Slowly I walked towards the monster and as I inched closer and closer I began to see the sweat dripping from the chieftain’s face. His hands that were clutched tightly around the axe were shaking wildly. He stood no chance.

“Lukas, have you finished cleaning the barn yet? Supper is almost ready!”

At the sounds of my mothers shrill voice the battle ended and suddenly I was unfortunately sucked back into boring reality.

“Not yet mother, give me another ten minutes or so…”

I quickly took the broom I was holding and started sweeping the floor because I knew it was only a matter of seconds until my mother came to see what the matter was. She told me to clean the place an hour ago but of course like usual I had dazed off into my own fantasy land.

“LUKAS! Will you please clean things up quickly? Supper is just a few minutes from being ready and you’ve barely even started! What have you been doing in here all this time?”

Sure enough she entered the barn with the same stern expression she gave me every time I angered her, which seemed to be often.

“I was fightin’ the goblins mama, I had to protect our barn from the enemy,” I said with a sly smile about me.

My mother hated it when I pretended to be a knight or a warrior, or whatever... For some odd reason she becomes very infuriated whenever I did so.

“Lukas, you’re fifteen years old! When are you going to grow up?” She said with her arms folding firmly across her chest.

“Fine, fine, I’ll clean the barn, it shouldn’t take too long!”

“The next time I catch your mind wandering about when you’re supposed to be doing chores you’ll get a whipping you’ve never imagined before.”

I simply rolled my eyes as she walked away. But of course she wasn’t yet finished with her tirade. “And stop pretending my broom is some kind of weapon!”

“I can’t help it mama, I’m gonna be a knight some day!” I chuckled back.

She grunted loudly and finally ended the argument with a threat I’ve heard millions of times before, “You break my broom and I’ll break your legs!”

I always laughed loudly at that one, for my mother wasn’t abusive as some kids’ mothers were. She would never lay a finger on me, besides my constant spankings of course.

Come to think of it, I’d hate to see what she would do if someone ever did laid their hands on me. It sure wouldn’t be pretty, I know that for sure. My mom is extremely protective of me.

I think that’s why I am home-schooled. She probably doesn’t want to even think about me being whipped by the school’s headmaster, which I am almost positive would be a daily activity. She’d rather do that herself…


Two hours later I finished sweeping the floors and bundling all the hay. It took me longer than I expected and mother wasn’t too thrilled about the delay.

“Sorry mama, it took me a bit long than I thought it would. Mama…?”

I yelled a bit more but was never given a response. My immediate answer to the silence was that she was most likely outside watering our garden and picking any already ripe vegetables.

So I threw off my work clothes and bundled into a pair of comfortable pants and an unbuttoned shirt. I went into the kitchen to see two plates resting on the table. One was full of cold food and the other was almost entirely eaten.

I walked over to the front door and poked my head out to see where mother was. I saw her standing just a few feet away from the porch. That’s when I saw two men in shiny silver armor standing next to her.

I walked outside to greet the men and I noticed she was sobbing.

“Who are these people mama, and why are you crying?”

Without giving me an answer she threw her arms around me and began to cry even more than before.

“Mama, what’s wrong?”

One of the men in armor spoke up with a deep and serious voice.

“Son, follow us into your house. There are some matters that need to be discussed.”

I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say. My mom took me by the hand and led me and the other two men into the house, where we all sat down at the kitchen table after she cleaned it.

“Lukas, do you have any idea who your father was?”

“Umm…no sir, I do not. Mama told me he passed away when I was still a baby.”

The man looked over to mother and she started crying again, this time thankfully a little quieter than before. I hated seeing her cry; it pained me more than anything else.

“You father was Martin Septim, son of Uriel Septim. Do you know who any of those two men are?” The man asked with a sterner tone.

“No sir, I’ve never heard the names before,” I said sheepishly.

Again the man looked over to my mother, this time with sheer anger. I was almost afraid he was going to yell at her but he turned his attention back to me.

“Your father and grandfather were rulers of the Empire Lukas. Surely you’ve of the Empire, haven’t you?”

I nodded. Who didn’t know about the Empire? Even we, on this small island hundreds of miles from anyone else, know about them. But was this man serious about my father, and apparently my grandfather, once being rulers of the Empire?

“Martin and Uriel were both recently slain recently. Your grandfather was assassinated by the culprits and Martin sacrificed himself to save Cyrodiil. You, Lukas, are the heir to the throne.”

I was stunned beyond belief. Surely I was dreaming right? Perhaps I had fainted from the barn’s heat and I was imagining all of this? Surely I had to be, there’s just no way in the world any of this could really be happening.

“I’m sorry sir, but what are you talking about? I think you have the wrong person. I’ve lived here all my life and I highly doubt it’s possible that I would be related to any Imperial Kings.”

“Ah, but it is Lukas, what your mother has apparently forgotten to mention to you is that she was once a caretaker for the Chapel in the city that was once Kvatch. She happened to have a “small” mishap with Martin and that brought you into this world. Your mother fled the country and brought you here. And since you’re Martin’s only heir that makes you’re the rightful king of Cyrodiil.”

I looked over to my mother and she was able to nod her head slowly. I was the King of Cyrodiil? How could this be? I’m only fifteen years old!

“We’ll give you about an hour to get your stuff together and then we set sail for Cyrodiil where you will take your place at the throne, though it won’t be as glamorous as you might think. A war has just been won, but don’t worry, I’ll explain everything on the way.”

Things were happening so fast I didn’t know what to think. I was looking back and forth between the two men and my mother, then the next thing I knew I was toppling face first towards the table, and then everything went dark.





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jack cloudy
post Oct 9 2007, 08:52 PM
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I must say it is an interesting start that caught me off-guard. Most (well, pretty much all) stories here involve heroes or wannabe-heroes who get involved with the Empire one way or another, but none of them actually had the main character being a Septim! So the potential of this thing is great. I kinda enjoyed the daydream. At first I was wondering how come the best warrior in the land was stuck fighting a horde of goblins in a barn. The dream explains it nicely. smile.gif

Ok, time for the critiscisms I guess. First, I think that sometimes your paragraphs are too short, especially those that are only one line long. On the other hand, I notice that a large scene change left open two lines. Maybe it is just that when you press enter, it skips a line?

Second is something in the second paragraph. You said that the goblin was struck to the floor. With a spear however, I envision that 'stuck the goblin to the floor' is a better choice. Spears are rarely used for striking.

The third is the biggest, though it also depends on how long you want your story to be. Right here in the first chapter, we've gone from dreamy knight-wannabe to king with personal bodyguards. I think you're going just a tad too fast here. We haven't gotten time to relate to the character yet. This problem becomes bigger as the story grows in size.

Don't worry about it too much though. Learning is a constant progress and you'll improve by leaps and bounds. If I look back at my early work today, I would never get done critiscizing it.


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Lucidarius
post Oct 9 2007, 09:47 PM
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What an unusual revelation and a very original set up regarding the Septim heir - and hey, the title makes perfectly sense.

It will be fun to see how you will develop Lukas and his destiny since this is wide open for interpretation after the ending of the Oblivion crisis. E.g. what will Ocato do about this new heir, who will be Lukas' friends and enemies in the powerstruggle of an empire?


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blockhead
post Oct 9 2007, 11:40 PM
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From: Lokken



Wow, this is neat.

First, I began to think that you were writing the goblins kind of oddly (do goblins sweat, btw?)... then I realized that you were writing them as imagined by a child who had not even met one. Well done!

When the mother didn't come in, I feared that it would be plot #17, where Bandits Slay The Parents Of The Hero And He Then Sets Forth On ... etc.

Nice twist, making him the king (or is that emperor?) of Cyrodiil! Did not see that coming. Nice!





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redsrock
post Oct 10 2007, 02:45 AM
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Thanks everyone, I have some studying to do but hopefully I can start on the 2nd chapter tonight...


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The Metal Mallet
post Oct 10 2007, 06:50 AM
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I agree with many of the others about the refreshing nature of this beginning. I'd like to emphasize Lucidarius' and jack's point about developing your character, which will definitely be a pivotal thing to take care of as this story progresses. So far, there hasn't really been anything glaring that deserves any major fixing. Oftentimes there's always something that can be improved upon like awkward sentences and such, but I can't really point out things like that.

I look forward to seeing how Lukas' mother handles her son's actual departure.


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mplantinga
post Oct 10 2007, 03:48 PM
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An interesting start. I'm curious to see where you will take this.
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redsrock
post Oct 10 2007, 10:29 PM
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My little brother has a football game that should be over at about 7:30ish. When I get home I'll start the second chapter, so it will be up by tonight, I'm just not sure when. Also, I live in the US and my timezone is Eastern Standard time, if that helps anyone......


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Lord Revan
post Oct 11 2007, 01:41 AM
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This story does live up to its name, the concept is fresh and new, I personally look forward to your next update, redsrock. Thanks for joining our community, most of the new people are here just for the mods threads and such (they hardly have any posts to their credit). devilsad.gif

Take the others' advice, I don't tend to post much in other story topics (lack of my comments does not in anyway reflect on how good your story is) because I don't have much of a skill for giving advice. I just leave it to the vets and opinionated sorts (jk) to offer critism most of the time.

See you around! goodjob.gif

This post has been edited by Lord Revan: Oct 11 2007, 01:44 AM
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redsrock
post Oct 11 2007, 02:06 AM
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That's no problem Revan. Many times I find it hard to read and comment on others' stories simply because I am too busy writing my own!


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Agent Griff
post Oct 11 2007, 08:27 PM
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Hm, a truly interesting start to your tale. I especially liked the banter between Lukas and his mother and how you described the man talking to Lukas during their conversation. I must say, out of all the TES stories here this one has one of the more original premises. As was said before, most of them are about various people who either A) play a part in the plots of one of the games, Morrowind or Oblivion or cool.gif play a part in a fictional story which takes place in the Elder Scrolls world, like my own character Arthago does (though I do fancy his tale as a "dramatic" way of telling the history of Hammerfell after the Dragon Break) and in which the Septims have little to no importance to the actual story.

I await your next update. You should know another thing which will surely make you proud, when I first posted my story, I never received so many posts regarding my first update alone and if I did receive some posts they were pretty short, not as long as these ones. That's not to say however that the people here aren't nice. Quite the contrary. Just know that your story has a lot of potential and it may just become the next "big thing" around here. Good luck!


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redsrock
post Oct 11 2007, 09:53 PM
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Thanks a lot Griff, that really does mean a lot to me. I hope this story will be the next "big thing" if there ever was such a title. I want this story to be good and above all I wanted EVERYONE to like it, which I know of course is impossibile, but heh, what's wrong with shooting for high goals?


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jack cloudy
post Oct 11 2007, 09:56 PM
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Nothing. After all, without ideals, where would man be? (Yeah, I just got philosophical.)


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redsrock
post Oct 11 2007, 10:25 PM
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Philosphy is always a good thing Jack Cloudy.....




CHAPTER TWO

I woke up some time later with a wetted rag placed on top of my head. Once my vision had refocused I saw mother talking to the two men. I guess it wasn’t a dream after all…

“He has to come with us Bella. His rightful place is in the Imperial City. I know this and you do as well. There’s nothing you can do for him now,” said the same man who had told me of my apparent future.

“But he’s just a little boy, how in the world do you think he can run a whole country, let alone the Empire!”

My mother wasn’t exactly thrilled about what was going on, and I was feeling the same way. I suppose none of them ever thought of asking me what I wanted.

“What about me? Don’t you want to know what I want?” I asked the man with a slight hint of rudeness. I never have had a smart mouth on me, but I’ll admit I was now started to get a bit agitated. The man in armor looked at his partner and then back to my mom, who was thankfully not crying anymore, just a little teary-eyed and red in the face.

“Of course I respect what you have to say Lukas, but I’m afraid that doesn’t really matter. You are the heir to the throne, whether you like it or not. You should be proud right now…” said the man.

“But my mother is right. I’m fifteen years old! How am I supposed to run a whole country?”

“I’ll be your personal assistant. I’m to help you and advise you on all of your decisions. Nobody is saying this will be easy, but after some teachings you’ll become a fine leader. I’m sure of it.”

This was all happening to fast. It was just too unreal at the moment. The man was clearly telling the truth, and I’m not exactly sure if I’m happy or unhappy. I mean, sure, it would definitely be an honor being named Emperor of Cyrodiil, but at the same time I don’t want to leave my mother here alone.

“What about mother? What will happen to her if I go?”

I looked over at here and she smiled that same gleaming smile she always gave me. Tears were slowly streaming down her face, but something told me they were tears of pride and joy.

“Honey, I cannot go back to where I used to leave. That life was left behind a long time ago, and I plan to keep it that way. Come here…”

I walked over to her and she put her arms around me. Her cold tears touched my face and I actually started choking up a bit. I was beginning to realize this was probably one of the last times I’d ever get to hug her.

“He is right, whether I want to come to senses or not. You are Martin Septim’s son. I’m so sorry I never told you this before, but I thought maybe I had gotten away from what I left behind. Go get your stuff, it’s time to leave.”

“But mama, I don’t wanna leave you. I just can’t.”

I was now crying just as my mother had been before I fainted. I wasn’t embarrassed; I cared nothing about what the men thought. Leaving my mother was a thought that had never crossed my mind. All of this was so confusing.

“Lukas, you need to gather your things. It is time to leave,” The man said.

I gave him an irritated look and then I hugged my mother once more. There was no need for packing; the only thing I wanted to take with me was of course some clothing, but above us was a small portrait of my mother when she was around my age. I had always kept it put away in one of my chests, but now I had the sudden urge of taking it with me. It would be my only reminder of her.

“I don’t need anything other than the portrait of you mama,” I said to her as she smiled brightly.

A couple minutes later I had the portrait in hand and was only a mere few seconds away from leaving the only place I had ever called home. Mother gave me one last hug and then gave me her final goodbyes.

“Be brave Lukas. You will make a wonderful leader. I’ve raised you up to be the best that I could get you, even if you don’t mind me every now and then,” she said with a wink. “I’ll let you leave with one last word: No matter how hard things get just remember that you are a Septim. I know that doesn’t hold any meaning to you right now, but soon you will understand…”

And at that I gave her one last hug and that was it. That was the last time I would ever see my mother.


“How long will it take us to get to Cyrodiil?”

“I’m not too sure, it all depends on how rough the waves are I suppose, probably no more than two days, maybe even shorter depending on the weather. I know the ship doesn’t look it, but it sure is fast,” he said with a wide grin spread across his wrinkled face.

His short gray hair told of his old age, but he didn’t act like an elder. He was joyous and talked with great enthusiasm. As far as I was concerned he could live another hundred years or so.

“Excuse me sir, but I don’t think you’ve told me your name.”

He smiled,” My name is Jauffre, Grandmaster of the Blades.”

Blades? What was that? It appeared that Jauffre could see the confusion on my face.

“Don’t worry Lukas, I’ll explain everything…”




And about seven or so hours later I had been given the information of everything that had occurred in Cyrodiil for the past couple of years. I was told about Uriel Septim, my father Martin Septim, the Oblivion Crisis and the Mythic Dawn, the current Chancellor Ocato, the Blades, and much more. It was certainly a lot of things to take in at once, but I listened carefully and absorbed everything Jauffre had to say.

“So what do we do when we finally get to the Imperial City?” I was awfully curious as to what was coming in the near future.

“First thing is that you need to meet with Ocato. He wasn’t too happy when I told him of your existence, and he said something along the lines of “The Council will never let a mere boy lead the Empire!” but it was all hot air. The Council cannot do a thing. You are a Septim and there’s nothing they can do about it.”


Silence was the word to describe the next hour or so, and during this time I reflected on what had just happened. It was all so amazing, yet it was saddening as well. Right now it was so hard for me to get my mother out of my head, but of course that would take some getting used to.

“You’re thinking about your mother aren’t you Lukas?”

Was he some kind of mind-reader or something?

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to not seeing her anymore. I know it’s tough but you’ll get through it…” This time the advice came from not Jauffre, but from an agile-looking Redguard who introduced himself as Baurus. He was the other man I saw back at my house, but he too had failed to inform me of his name.

“Jauffre and I are the only Blades left. The others died at the Battle of Bruma. I know all of this is sudden and surely you’re still letting everything sink in, but the two of us are here to help you. Granted I’ll be playing more of a spy-type of role in the coming days, but I’m always here if you need me kid.”

Baurus playfully rubbed my head, something that both irritated me and made a little happier, knowing that I wasn’t going to have to run the country by myself. But if I was to be Emperor, I don’t think calling me kid is the way to help. I guess that doesn’t really matter.
“I’m sure you have some questions for us Lukas, but I think it would be best if you get some sleep. A child such as you shouldn’t go this long without rest,” Jauffre said with a sort of motherly tone to his voice.

Oh great, I was just reminded of my mother. I was trying my hardest to put her aside even though I really didn’t want to. The painting will be my only reminder of her, but there will always be a place in my heart for her. No matter what I will never forget here, no matter how hard I tried.

I got up from the wooden bench I was seated on and Baurus showed me to my room, which was a lot more cramped than I had imagined. I figured the Blades would’ve traveled in a more luxurious vessel than this, but who was I to know, I’m only a kid. Ha, that’s very ironic…..

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I woke up to the sounds of waves splashing against the side of the ship. Apparently I was on the edge of the vessel, for the waves were rather loud and was probably the reason I woke up in the first place.

Outside Jauffre and Baurus were nowhere to be seen, but after spotting a nearby ladder I climbed up it and found myself on the deck, where sure enough the two of them were talking with one another.

“Lukas, you’re awake! How do you feel?”

“I feel okay Jauffre, but my head hurts a little bit, but not too bad I suppose…”, I said while rubbing my forehead with the palm of my hand.

“Well we’re about to make landfall, we’re only about an hour or so away. I told you it wouldn’t take that long didn’t I?”

Thankfully Jauffre was right about making landfall soon, I was suddenly feeling woozy. It was most likely caused by the ride on this ship. This was the first time I had ever sailed the sea, and up to this point I haven’t really enjoyed myself.

“Wait, an hour away? Have I really slept that long?”

“Yes you have Lukas. I thought about waking you up but I then decided you needed all the rest you could get. We’ll be very busy once we arrive at the Imperial City,” Jauffre said.

A pit in my stomach formed, reminding me of what was to soon come. I would come face to face with this Ocato person, and according to Jauffre he didn’t like me too much. For some reason I had a bad feeling no one would like me too much. I guess I can’t blame them. I would be critical as well if suddenly a fifteen year-old boy was announced Emperor of my land. And after a major war as well! I definitely wasn’t expecting a warm welcome.

“Ah, will you look at that? Home at last…”

Baurus had pointed out to sea and when I looked I saw what at first appeared to be a bunch of large rocks, but as I looked harder I realized it was a dock, and behind that a city.

“What city is that Baurus?”

“Anvil. It’s the only dock in Cyrodiil, and it’s gotten to be run-down the past couple of years, and if you ask me it’s quite boring as well. But don’t worry; we’ll be leaving as soon as we land.”

Soon the ship arrived at the docks and we exited the ship. Jauffre explained that the ship was actually a personal vessel of some pub-owner outside the city. He said the owner owed Jauffre a lot and instead of gold the two decided that any of the Blades could borrow the ship whenever they wanted.

Once we walked through a set of large gates I was met with something I had never been exposed to before: a crowd. Back home there weren’t many people and everyone seemed to know each other. But here there were people everywhere, some running into me like I was invisible or something.

“Out of the way you little runt!” Yelled one Imperial man wearing an expensive outfit.

I saw Baurus grit his teeth and Jauffre quickly intervened. “Hold your breath Baurus, he isn’t worth it. Let’s get out of this place before I vomit from the horrible stench. This place is really going down hill.”

“Jauffre, I’ve never seen such a crowd like this. Is the Imperial City going to be the same way?” I asked.

Jauffre and Baurus both laughed out loud. “Ha, my boy the Imperial City is five times as bad as this! You haven’t seen anything yet….”


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mplantinga
post Oct 11 2007, 11:39 PM
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This story continues to be interesting. I'll try to keep an eye on it.
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redsrock
post Oct 12 2007, 12:36 AM
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Great, I would appreciate that. Look for the next chapter to be up either tonight or tomorrow night, but probably the latter of the two...


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blockhead
post Oct 12 2007, 02:19 AM
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Nice installment.

It's just too bad his mother didn't go with him. Maybe this is best for her safety though. I presume that only the blades know of her location.





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redsrock
post Oct 12 2007, 02:30 AM
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I never really meant for the mother to be a huge part of the story, but yes you are correct in thinking that the Blades are the only ones that know of her location...


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Agent Griff
post Oct 12 2007, 05:43 AM
Post #19


Knower
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Joined: 23-February 06
From: Somewhere in Romania



Hm, very interesting update. I must say, I'm a sucker for these initiation stories where someone with no previous knowledge of something is introduced into his role. The misshaps that derive from this learning experience are always very entertaining. I can't wait to see what he does once he reaches the IC.


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I approve of this mod.
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The Metal Mallet
post Oct 12 2007, 08:00 AM
Post #20


Master
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Joined: 18-June 06
From: Kitchener, ON, Canada



Things are developing nicely. I can't wait to see the transition Lukas will have to make, as well as the possible politics and intrigue the council could provide.

I'm looking forward to it.


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