Old Habits Die Hard Part Six, some old habits never die Options

[Grits]

I am in absolute awe. Rielus the swordsman gave us a stunning fight, and his skeleton way of communicating with Julian was just astonishing. Then as a ghost when he mentioned that the amulet was a gift from Casnar, no kidding I cried. And Julian is a worthy Knight Sister to this legendary Blade.

[Olen]

That was a good part, the fight's pace was spot on. There were long enough moments to get tactics in and then when the action did come it was fairly short and very fast.

I took advantage of the situation and kicked upward with both of my feet, sending the skeleton up and over me and headfirst into the wall behind us.

And you even managed to work that throw in without making it seem forced (which is more than I've ever seen elsewhere). Full points for awesome, especially as it was a finisher, and it wasn't out of place.

You managed to give Casnar a good bit of personality in the short time he was in it. I look forward to meeting the others

[mALX]

It makes a huge diff when you are playing on the PC and can get screens to go along with your story, I'll bet you're enjoying that !!!

[haute ecole rider]

@le Reynard: Yes, we had a lot of fun working on these pieces. I believe we still have one more to go? And yes, I’m wondering where Destri went!

@everyone else: Thank you for commenting on the tactics and the pacing of the fight. Dee Foxy’s expertise really shows here. There are more to come - remember there are four undead Blades total in this place.

@SubRosa: That musing of Julian’s where she recognizes their - brotherhood? Sisterhood? Siblinghood? - was a defining moment for her. Julian finally accepts that she is really a Blade, not just an impostor. For them to accept her so readily never really sat right with Julian, she who had to work so hard to be accepted into the ranks of the Legion. After all, what did she do to earn entrance into the small ranks of this elite force? All she did (in her eyes anyway) was escort the last heir to the Dragon Throne from a ruined burning city to Cloud Ruler Temple. I think that’s why she has been so compelled to carry out every task Jauffre gives her to the best of her abilities. For her (and for me) Sancre Tor is where she really earned those katanas she carries.

As for your nit, the repetition was intentional. She was so unprepared for the appearance of Rielus’s ghost and the fact that he spoke to her that she was echoing herself. I had noticed the two so close together myself, and considered eliminating one of them, but after considering the situation, decided to leave it in place to show Julian’s momentary distraction. She is normally so cool and collected, you know!

And don’t worry about your comments over the timeline. It was confusing to me too, the first time I played through this quest. Jauffre says the first Grandmaster (I have an idea who it is, but I’ll leave that for Destri, since it’s his story) sent the four greatest Blades to Sancre Tor to see what had defiled the shrine. He further explains that Tiber Septim gave the Blades his armor after the city fell to honor them for their sacrifice in the battle. They in turn interred the armor (not the man) before the tomb of Reman III. Later the Underking invaded the sacred shrine and began corrupting the place. Tiber Septim was still alive, like Hammer said. It’s doubtful whether or not he knew of the invasion, or if the first Grandmaster acted on his own initiative. At least, that’s how I understand it.

@Acadian: I’m soooo glad you recognized my nod to two certain Bosmeri (and their authors) who have encouraged Julian and I to persevere with this story. And yes, Julian has the closest ties with the Blades, even though she’s only been one for a few short months. But their unconventionality suits her just fine, whereas the strict traditions of the Legion was often stifling for her.

@Hammertime: There is a backstory to Julian’s choices in weaponry. Her Legion training is pretty standard - stand shoulder to shoulder with your comrades, shield up in the left, arming sword in the right, slash, smash and stab your way through the enemy lines. But the pilus of her second posting in Valenwood was unconventional in many ways - and he recognized her abilities and potential. Thus Blademaster Jelin took her under his wing and taught her the Sunbird Dance, which is really a philosophy rather than a fighting style. She in turn developed a rather unconventional reputation in the Legion, which is why she never advanced beyond pilus prior of the Ninth Cohort. But that’s another story.

@TK: You have the right of it - Dee Foxy has outshone himself - for now. Only he and I know what’s next, so don’t be so quick with your praise. I will tell you this, though, when I got this scene back from le Reynard, I was on the edge of my seat biting my nails reading it! It still gets my heart going even after the tenth read. The only thing missing is Wagner’s heroic music.

@Grits: The part that made you cry, where Rielus tells Julian the amulet was a gift from Casnar - that came out of my conversations with Destri about the four of them post-Interregnum. I’m glad you told me about this, because it tells me that I am capturing the emotional side of this story as well as the physical.

@Olen: That part you quoted is humbly mine. Dee Foxy obviously thought it was good enough to leave it in. I wanted to take us back to that scene in the beginning (in the very first chapter) when Glenroy was accusing Julian as being one of them and she fell on her butt backing away from him. For me, it really symbolizes how far she has come since the beginning.

@mALX: I’m enjoying it, when the computer is working! I hope to get that desktop back this week - it’s been hell without it! It’s got my school stuff on it for Pete’s sake!

The story so far: Julian has successfully freed the ghost of the first of the greatest Blades that ever lived, and learns the nature of the evil that has led to Sancre Tor being sealed off. Now she moves on to the next challenge.

Once again credit goes to Dee Foxy for his combat expertise and Destri Melarg for his characterization of the Four Greatest Blades Evah.

Chapter 26.4: The Second Guardian

Rielus’s amulet tingled beneath my mail as I entered the immense chamber at the bottom of the prison and studied its multiple levels.

After recovering the amulet, I had followed Rielus’s phantasmal form across the bridge and into a large chamber. Four passageways radiated off that immense hall, one which I had entered by, and three others. Rielus had moved to a staircase that led down from the mezzanine I stood on to a central platform, where a ghost waited. The spirit had ignored Rielus as the ancient Blade passed it on his way to another set of steps. These steps led down further to a tall set of double doors. Rielus had passed through those heavy wooden panels as if they were as ephemeral as he.

Silently I thanked my foresight for bringing Akatosh’s Fury with me. Crouched in the shelter of the passageway, my eyes scanning the mezzanine and the central dais, I strung the enchanted bow and fitted an arrow to the string. Once more I scanned the chamber, and, seeing no other spirits, eased out onto the balcony and knelt behind the stone coping.

Calling on Cieran’s training, I sighted on the ghost’s head and drew the silk back to my ear. Half a breath later, the arrow whispered its way through that greenish specter, trailing a web of energy that encompassed the hapless spirit. As its pink glow faded, I glanced around once more. Best to sweep the mezzanine and look into all these passageways first. Then I’ll decide where to go next. First I moved widdershins and peeked into the first passageway. A set of double doors at the end of a short corridor met my gaze. As I turned toward the next one, a pink glow materialized along the stone wall. Another ghost in that next passage. I stowed Akatosh’s Fury and drew Daedra Slayer, mentally visualizing the drain health spell again. Slowly I crept toward the passage and peered around the corner.

The ghost waited near a wall of tumbled boulders. Cave-in. Have to find another way inside there. Fortunately, the specter faced away from me, and I was able to approach it stealthily. It was within range of my touch spell before it alerted to the faint susurrus of my mail. Again the drain health demolished the apparition before it had time to create a frost bolt.

I returned to the mezzanine. It ended just past this corridor, and the fourth passage awaited on the far side of the room, beyond the one I had entered by. I could see no spectral light there.

First I went down to the lower set of doors. I managed to open one of them and slipped into a dark chamber that stretched away before me. Stairs led down to a center aisle that ran to a shimmering barrier. On either side, sarcophagi set into niches in the walls told me I had found the tombs. The Reman emperors are buried in Sancre Tor. Seems I’ve found their final resting place. In front of one of the coffins, Rielus knelt in the traditional Blades homage, facing the magical barrier. Without turning his head or breaking his position, his wispy voice drifted back to me. “Find my brothers. They wait behind the other doors.”

Three cells led off the lowest level below me. A skeleton, his bones outlined in blue, shambled between them. Again I recognized the Blades helmet, shield and katana. One of Rielus’s brothers. Which one? Casnar? Alain? Valdemar? Only one way to find out. I scanned the chamber from my high vantage point. I have to stay out of those three cells. They won’t give me room to maneuver with two swords. Damn! I should have picked up Rielus’s shield! With a shake of my head at my own stupidity, I cast a fortify health spell and set my bow and arrows aside.

As I watched the shambling skeleton far below me, I recognized the feeling of smugness that followed a successful battle. Careful, Julian. Just because you defeated the greatest swordsman you’ve ever met doesn’t mean this one is going to be easy. Don’t get cocky. Remember that poem Carius taught us tironii -

Justine Case was a wary girl,
A very wary girl, indeed -
She’d hatch two plans for every stand,
And hold a third one right in hand,
And just in case all three should fail,
She kept yet another in her lunch pail -
For Justine Case was a wary girl,
A very wary girl, indeed!

Crouched near the parapet overlooking the lowest level, I regarded the Blade skeleton thoughtfully. Tall. Taller than me. Those arms look frightfully long. That katana looks barely bigger than a dagger in his hand. Doubtlessly his reach is much longer than mine. With our weapons being equal, he has the advantage over me. He can smash through my defense, and he’ll be impossible to block, even if I had a shield. I can parry him, but it would be better if I can slip inside his guard.

I set my plain katana beside my bow thoughtfully. That means close work. Dagger or shortsword in my left hand. I drew the Legion dagger from its sheath at my lower back. Its triangular blade, almost as long as my forearm, was strong thanks to extra steel welds reinforcing the forte. Its sturdy, wide guard was perfect for punching fractures into jaws and ribs. He may be slow or even clumsy between strikes, if he’s like most of the big fighters I’ve seen. But I’ve got to keep from getting hit by him. He’s likely to be strong, and that can be the end of me. I’ll have to rely on my speed and agility. Move, feint, switch direction in constantly unpredictable patterns to get him to overextend himself. That’s when I’ve got to move in fast and finish him off.

Subconsciously my fingers reached for the chain holding Rielus’s amulet. I ran my fingertips along the flat links, tied together with a leather cord, my gaze still on that Blade. He’s going to hit me, and hit me hard. I’ve got to be ready for that. What can I do about it? Other than the usual fortify and restore health potions in my belt pouch?

Wait - I glanced down at my pouch. It’s hard to grab a vial out of it in a hurry. But what if I kept it around my neck, ready to hand? My pack also held several thin leather cords - tough, pliable, and ready to cobble together ripped mail or torn straps. I fumbled a vial out and examined the stopper. It could work. My fingers hooked a coil of leather out of the pouch and unrolled it. The cord was thin enough to wrap around the neck of the glass stopper. I held the vial by its plug. It’ll stay in until I pull on the vial.

I didn’t want to hang it around my neck, recalling how the tip of my blade had so easily broken the links of Rielus’s amulet when I fought him. Yet I want it close to hand, where I can grab it without looking for it. I tied the cord securely around the bung, then fastened it to one of the buckles securing the mail over my right shoulder. I can reach up with my left hand, grab the vial, pull it off the stopper and put the neck between my teeth. It would only take an instant, and I won’t have to drop the dagger to do it. I practiced hooking the small vial with the little finger of my dagger hand while keeping the blade pointed out, until I was satisfied that muscle memory was established. That’s it. It’ll swing out of the way if struck by mistake, but it won’t go flying over my shoulder, either.

Briefly I considered moving through the exercises of the Sunbird Dance, but decided against it. No point in alerting him of my presence before I’m ready. Instead I settled for visualizing the movements. “When you must be absolutely still, use your mind. It is your most powerful weapon and your strongest skill. Your muscles are only as nimble as your thoughts.” Jelin’s voice echoed in the silence of the immense chamber.

With a final glance at the patrolling skeleton, I reviewed my tactics one more time. Confront him, then move fast into him. Not a full charge, just a fast walk under total control. If he stands and waits for me, I’ll stop just out of reach and get him to strike first. Once he’s overextended, I’ll slip past his guard and charge in. If he swings wildly at me, I’ll wait until his arm is back for that overhand strike. Then I’ll duck in fast with the dagger up en garde and Daedra Slayer straight in a lunge strike. It should be a one-thrust kill. Time it right, and it’ll be over fast.

With the dagger in my left hand and Daedra Slayer ready, I managed to creep down the stairs before being spotted by the cursed Blade. As he closed on me, I noticed the faint glow that encompassed the blue and gold round shield he carried. Damn. I should have expected something magical. Then I put all extraneous thoughts aside and focused completely on the tall skeleton.

Which was just as well. I came closer to death in the next minute than I had in a very long, long time.

[Acadian]

'I sighted on the ghost’s head and drew the silk back to my ear. Half a breath later, the arrow whispered its way through that greenish specter, trailing a web of energy that encompassed the hapless spirit. As its pink glow faded, I glanced around once more.'
You go, girl! This got my heart pounding! Julian only has a little round human ear to pull her silk back to, but by Mara, she sure took care of that ghost with one arrow!

This episode really had me smiling for a couple reasons. One was the passage above that I can so identify with. The other being Julian's wise and extremely detailed rumination and careful planning for her pending strike. The poem she recalled was most appropriate for the cautious (ie: those who survive). I can really identify with this, for we like to say:

There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots.

I so hope her preparations pay off for her, although the foreboding last line is certainly cause for concern.

I liked how Julian, frustrated by the challenges offered by potions, set her mind to crafting a solution - or at least what should be a very helpful improvement.

Oh, this Sancre Tor portion of Julian's story was so very worth waiting for! *twirl*

[D.Foxy]

Cue Ominious Music!!! Bring up the Church Organ volume! Step up the drums in the background!

A HARD RAIN'S A-GONNA FALL!!!!

[Grits]

So much wisdom and experience goes into Julian’s plan. I enjoyed listening to her every thought. And that last one was chilling! Battle music ready!!

[treydog]

Reading this wonderful novel once again. I will have much more to say when I get further along, but it is so pleasant to have 200+ pages available... A cold glass of tea, a warm cat--- and Julian being her inimitable self. Perfect.

ETA- Just added the content to my Kindle. Now I can read much more easily. Will be following this practice with a number of other stories, also. Sometimes, being a tech-nerd has its advantages....

This post has been edited by treydog: Jun 4 2011, 08:13 PM

[SubRosa]

Given the size of the second ghostly Blade, I am guessing that is Voldemort Valdemar. Once again, Julian shows her experience by planning out how she will face him. The Justine Case song was perfectly delightful at that.

One question that immediately came to mind after you showed Julian using her bow to kill a ghost earlier in the segment, is why not use it against the undead Blades? If nothing else it could give her one good strike from surprise, and force them to come to her.

[Thomas Kaira]

Oh noes! Cliff is hung yet again!

Julian did a very good job with her planning out how she would be doing battle with that skellie. Inspired idea with the potions!

[Doommeister]

Aaargh cliff should be shot, hung and quartered!!! im on the hunt

H.E.R I have just finished reading the whole story once again, and once again Im drawn into the story. and once again you leave us a cliffy...
S.G.M!!!

[mALX]

Sorry it took so long to get over here and read, this month has been unbearably hectic so far. GAAAAAH !!! A cliffhanger !!! I love Sancre Tor, it is fun at any level !! Great Write !!

This post has been edited by mALX: Jun 23 2011, 04:49 PM

[haute ecole rider]

@Acadian: That passage you quoted is a nod to our favorite blond Bravilian Bosmer bowgirl. Glad you picked up on it! And that Justine Case jingle is thanks to our warrior poet of Chorrol, Dee Foxy. I knew you would enjoy the planning portion - I liked it too.

@DeeFox: Now let that hard rain fall!

@Grits: Time for the battle music! Go ahead and turn it on.

@treydog: I would like to know how you added Julian’s story to your Kindle? I’d like to something similar with some of the other stories on the forum, but don’t want to include all the comments (though sometimes they’re as much fun as the story itself!). And I’m glad Julian’s story really holds up to re-reading. Thanks for that validation!

@SubRosa: You’ll see if your guess to the skelly’s identity is correct. Good point about using the enchanted bow on the skeleton. It’s been my in game experience that arrows, with or without enchantment, are pretty useless against these guys. The only thing that brings them down quickly is a good blow from a blunt instrument. As Julian isn’t in the habit of carrying a mace or axe, she has to settle for her nice katanas. And against these particular skeletons, magic didn’t seem to give much of an edge. I like to consider them more durable than your usual skelly - partly because of their life-force (hey, the four greatest Blades that ever lived!) and partly because of the Underking’s skill.

@TK: Don’t worry, Cliff is just fine. Yes, the idea with the potions is quite inspired. We’ll see just how useful it is.

@Doommeister: Don’t hurt my Cliff! He’s actually quite useful! I’m glad to see you’re all caught up now and loving it.

@mALX: Glad to see you’re continuing to read this. Yes, Sancre Tor is one of my favorite quests, too.

Time to let Cliff out of the hangman’s noose. In Sancre Tor, Julian has just confronted her second undead Blade. Now we learn just how good this freakishly large skeleton is. Again, I must give due credit to Dee Foxy for his combat expertise and to Destri Melarg for his characterization of the four Greatest Blades ever.

Chapter 26.5: The Imprisoned Nord

The confrontation began as I expected. The undead Blade drew back his sword and charged. I started my sprint just as the sword began its deadly descent and ducked inside his guard with Daedra Slayer thrusting straight before me in a single, explosive and fluid motion.

Then the skeleton did the unexpected. He pivoted ninety degrees to the right around his right foot. His katana dropped sharply to his chest, its forte neatly parrying my blade. With a speed that shocked me, he continued the movement of his parry, flicking his wrist in a smooth deflection over and downward. His katana slipped over mine, then with a second flick of his wrist his weapon whipped into a savage backhanded slash straight at my exposed throat.

Only my experience combined with my total concentration on the combat saved me. Unconsciously I dove to the floor, the only possible way to counter the attack from my hopelessly unbalanced posture at the end of my lunge. When my back struck the floor I rolled away with both my weapons crossed in front of me for protection. Normally it would have gained me half a dagger’s length of protective space against an opponent with the same reach as mine.

This guardian’s range exceeded mine by the length of my dagger.

That katana flashed again toward my throat as I rolled on the floor and forced apart my own blades as if they were made of paper instead of steel. His sword tip reached for my throat, but caught on the glass vial I had earlier attached to the shoulder buckle nearest my neck. White hot pain seared through the junction of my neck and shoulder as the skeleton’s weapon smashed the bottle open and sliced into the muscle just above the mail collar.

Jelin’s hard training saved me then. In spite of the close call, my body kept rolling away from the guardian. Obviously he had anticipated I would duck right, but I had gone left. His second strike slammed into the stones beside me, sparks flying.

Somehow I gained my feet and backed away, blinking hard against the pain. The undead Blade swiveled to face me, his sword point aimed at me, his knees flexed into a half-crouch. He tossed his shield to the ground and presented his side to me while resting his other hand on his hip.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He’s using that katana like a rapier. His wristwork is excellent. I never expected him to be so quick and nimble with his sword, in spite of his greater size.

“The touch is the most difficult element of bladework to understand and perfect,” Jelin’s voice sounded again in my memory as I stood back warily. “As your blades slide along each other, mastery of the touch will enable you to sense your opponent’s strength, which side he favors, which strokes and tactics he prefers, and how fast and sensitive his wristwork will be. But my words are meaningless. Until your sweat is red instead of white, until your body memorizes this from repetition, this will not become part of your heart and soul. Practice!”

I presented my own side to his and advanced slowly, then reached over in a half-lunge until our blades touched. My mind empty of thought, instinct and training took over. Our blades crossed and tested each other. His weapon tried to slide, lever and spin mine out, I countered each move with combinations of my own. I began to understand his techniques, his strengths and his preferences.

He’s been trained by someone a lot faster and shorter than him. That’s why he doesn’t want to use the full length lunge, and why he aims for my head every time. He protects his knees and wrists. His guard is slightly lower than typical. He doesn’t want to perform a timed thrust counterattack. And his training seems to be rigid, in a narrow back and forth training step. Let’s see how he copes with a wide open fluidity —

Now that I had his rhythm, I began to throw him off. I juggled my weapons between my hands, Daedra Slayer ending up in my left and my dagger in my right. I tapped his sword point left, right, then left and right again. I circled him the entire time, switching directions at unpredictable intervals.

He fell into the classic defense, using his longer reach to keep me at bay. I slowly maneuvered him to the side of the chamber, his sword arm facing the wall. I stamped my foot and lunged forward. Daedra Slayer sent flames flickering along his sword as I snapped it to the wall.

He reacted exactly the way I wanted him to. The skeleton parried my probing lunge and leaped sideways away from the constricting stones at his side.

I jumped too, but not back to the center. Instead I slid down to the floor near the wall and kicked against it into a full lunge, my head down and my arm fully extended. My enchanted katana aimed at his pelvis.

The ideal counter for it was a straight thrust downwards, but the undead Blade hesitated for a fatal instant. If he missed, his weapon would hit the wall instead of air. Daedra Slayer slid beneath his guard and smashed through his pelvis. The curve of his hip bone guided the tip of my katana into the base of his spine.

Splinters of bone flew everywhere as he dropped like a tree. But the tall skeleton wasn’t finished. He reached out with his free hand and seized my left wrist. His momentum drew me down on top of him, his sword flying away from us. The bones of his right hand caught my throat and closed in a tight grip.

Akatosh! He’s strong! Lights exploded in my brain as I dropped Daedra Slayer. I slammed a drain health spell into him out of desperation, but it barely slowed him down.

But the distraction of the spell gave me just the tiniest opening I needed to bring up my Legion dagger. I smashed repeatedly at his arm with both blade and guard until I heard and felt bone snapping, but that relentless pressure on my throat only grew. The last of the air gone from my lungs, black spots danced in front of his white visage until they metamorphosed into white spots against black eye sockets.

Wheezing and gasping filled my ears as I found myself falling onto my shoulder beside the jumbled bones. My vision slowly cleared and the spots coalesced into the shadowed forming the high ceiling above me. My starved lungs slowly refilled with stale air as the combined scents of bone dust, sweat, and blood filled my nostrils. The wound in my right shoulder sent argent slivers through my body as a warm trickle ran down my arm.

But I couldn’t rest. I had another Blade to speak to. Recovering Daedra Slayer, I used it for support and struggled back to my feet in time to see the ghost materialize. Much as Rielus did, this phantom crouched over his bones, then rose to his full height. Where Rielus stood just a couple centimeters shorter than me, this one towered over me. Just like Burd. Has to be Valdemar, the Nord.

“I know you . . . you freed me.” He turned and met my gaze from beneath the spectral helm. Yes, that’s a Skyrim accent. One I’ve only heard among the oldsters in the remotest villages, though.

“You must be Valdemar,” I answered, bringing Daedra Slayer up before my face in the Legion salute. “And yes, you’re free to carry out your duty.”

An ephemeral fist clanged with an echo against an ephemeral breastplate. “I am grateful to you, hero,” he greeted me. “Has eternity ended?”

“No,” I shook my head at the odd question. “Four hundred years have gone by since you were enslaved. It may seem like an eternity, but it isn’t.”

“I see,” the phantom’s whisper turned depressed. “So the curse is not yet lifted.”

“It will be, soon,” I put as much conviction into my voice as I could. Though I really don’t know what I’m doing here. How is destroying their skeletons freeing them? Yet there is no question, their spirits are freed when I break their ancient bones. And these bones are proving hard to break. “Once I have your brothers freed, the four of you can complete what you were sent to do.”

“I do not speak of the curse of the Underking,” Valdemar’s wispy voice held a profound sadness. “I speak of one older, one that applies only to me.” His face turned away from me as he looked down at the shattered bones. “The one that curses me to an eternity in the company of the undead.”

I recalled something of the beliefs of Skyrim. “If I can help it, you will see the halls of Sovngarde when we are done here.” Hope shimmered through his gaze. Suddenly I wished I could clasp his shoulder in reassurance, as one soldier to another. I had to settle for less. “As your Blade sister, I swear it on the blood of Talos himself. In any case, Rielus awaits you at the Shrine of Tiber Septim.”

“He is free?” Valdemar’s shimmering visage smiled. “Thanks again, hero. I go to join him. Free my remaining brothers from this eternal slavery, so we may complete our lord’s bidding.” Again he saluted me, then gestured at his bones. “Find and take my shield. Alain gave it to me when they took away my mace and made me fight with this katana,” he touched the hilt at his left hip. “Carry the shield with honor, if you choose. Or bring it back to Cloud Ruler Temple.”

This post has been edited by haute ecole rider: Jun 25 2011, 01:00 AM

[ghastley]

He tossed his shield to the ground...

This bit surprised me, knowing the enchantment on the shield. But the style of swordplay that ensued wasn't sword-and-board stuff, so it made sense in the end. It was almost as if he was preserving the shield for the victor.

At this stage I'm usually busy with my repair hammers. Did Julian bring any?

[Captain Hammer]

Okay, finally getting caught up on my Fan-Fic reading-and-commenting, and what present awaits me? A post from the Rider of High Dressage, with Nordly combat to boot!

I am thoroughly enjoying Julian's sojourn through Sancre Tor. Her combat skills are really showing through, and her physical progression from the run-down addict in the prison cell to formidable Redgaurd Swordswoman is, in simple words, great.

Or was that just a single simple word? We need a grammar professor!

Nit:

Unconsciously I dove to the floor, the the only possible way to counter the attack

It appears as though the forum is turning itself around now, spitting back words formed from previous acts of theft!

[Acadian]

Another heart pounding fight! That potion she rigged up in the last epsisode helped, but not like we all expected.

'Until your sweat is red instead of white, until your body memorizes this from repetition, this will not become part of your heart and soul.'
Beautiful!

You passion for the Sancre Tor storyline is obvious and so very understandable, for you very effectively infect your readers with it as well. Those four old Blades are quite something, are they not? One cannot help but swell up with pride for Julian as she moves toward her destiny as a Blade Sister.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Jun 25 2011, 01:36 AM

[treydog]

There may be a more elegant method of “de-forumizing” a story, but… I simply copy and paste the individual story installments into Word (one at a time), do some formatting and font adjustments, and then use Mobipocket Creator to convert it to Kindle format. Can PM in more detail if you like.

There is a value in getting to read so much of your work at one time- mostly because it is all wonderful. Although Julian maintains her “old habits,” she also learns new techniques and skills. But those changes happen at a believable pace- especially given Julian’s experiences.

The whole subplot with the corruption in Bravil is brilliantly drawn, with wonderful characterization throughout. I am busy trying to cast the roles of Phillida and Camillus in my head- a task made easier because they leap off the page.

“His quiet voice brought back memories of distant avalanches in the snow-covered mountains of Skyrim.”

Right there, for example.

And, of course I preened (and blushed) at the mentions of the “Solstheim case.”

“Hiding my face in my tumbler, I shook my head. There’s three more along the roads they don’t know about. Yet. After swallowing a mouthful of the refreshing liquid, I lowered my tumbler to see stunned amazement on their faces.”

This short passage says so much in so few words.

Then the idea that Mehrunes is attacking elsewhere is another of those “head-slap” moments that makes perfect sense- as soon as someone else thinks of it.

The meeting with Ocato was another of those moments that has a beautiful cinematic quality- your descriptions are crisp and the dialogue reveals much about the characters.

The mechanics of the sigil stones is an excellent bit of magecraft, again making perfect sense.

“I’m a recovering drunk,” I shook my head. “Water would be fine, if you have some ready.”

Julian’s bluntness, contrasted with Janus’ charm, is such a treat. In fact, the whole “Interview with a Vampire” scene is wonderful.

The portrayal of the oafish mages of Skingrad was welcome comic relief from the string of Gates, even as Julian’s nightmares remind us that she has had little about which to laugh.

But- we also see there is more to Vigge- and if he keeps eating sweet rolls, there will be a LOT more to him…. I can understand his addiction, though. To Julian- and to cinnamon.

“Green sparks flickered along its slender blade as the disgusting material fled from my fingers and the refresh spell blooming from them.“

What a wonderful sentence this is!

“I suppose there are not that many white-haired Redguard women traveling around Cyrodiil closing gates and rescuing housecats.”

Ya think? ROFL.

You show your talent for writing fully-realized characters once more with the bookish Erthor.
And then, we get a glimpse at Julian’s depth during her introspection at the Aetherius Stone. That whole passage just sings.

If I tried to highlight everything that is wonderful about Julian’s return to the city of her youth, I would have to quote the entire chapter. Barring that, I will note this paragraph:

“If not for those goblins thirty years ago, the man standing before me repairing my cuirass would have been my brother. But if not for those goblins, I would never have joined the Legion. So my brother would not be repairing a cuirass for me. If not for the goblins, who would be following the path I have followed these past few months?”

And her welcome home is the sort of thing that Bethesda could have scripted easily enough if they had thought of it. Simply add a “where are you from” question to the character creation at the start of the game…. More important, it adds tremendously to the feeling that she has a history, with all the weight that carries.

Which we see as she tells her story- or most of it to one of the few folk with a right to know, Varel Morvayn.
And, again at the perfect moment, you lighten the mood-

“Reputation?” I repeated. “For what? Rescuing housecats?”

Pardon me while I gush over the flashbacks in the Mages Guild… Passages like these are the absolute heart of this wonderful story.

“Oh, so you stole your mother’s ribbon, as well?” His left brow rose. I stared at that wayward feature, and tried hard to lift my right brow in imitation. I couldn’t quite do it.

And now we see where the training of that useful quizzical eyebrow began!

You effectively capture Countess Umbranox’s melancholy without dwelling upon it. And it resonates with Julian’s own pain and determination.

The introduction of Blanco is another outstanding piece of writing, with wonderful descriptions and gentle humor.

Going to stop there for now- as this has gone too long already. But I am still reading and still catching up.

Nit section:

21.1- Phillida refers to the “Mystic Dawn.” Is that an error on his part, or should it be “Mythic?”

22.4- “No, I’m getting too old to keep fighting like this for much longer,” I answered. “My mother was an alchemist, and I’l like to learn what she knew.” Vigge must have scared the “L” into Julian’s contraction in the second sentence- “I’d.”

22.7- “Kvatch and Skingrad has a long history of helping each other, Julian,” he responded. “I’m only honoring that history.” Vampires and “V’s” I suppose. The two counties “have” a history.

22.8- “A blonde Imperial woman, quite attractive with her upswept hair and elegant green silks in spite of the fine lines that belied her age…” “Belied” seems to give the impression that the lines disguised her age, rather than indicating it.

23.4- An “a” and “an” manages to switch places on you during the flashback-

“Your mother wouldn’t make such a amateur mistake…”

His forbidding expression dissolved into an puckish grin…

23.5- The Daedra also manages to distort Carahil’s form of “to be”- “Maybe,” Carahil shrugged. “There are so much we don’t understand about Oblivion.”

23.6- “And one of my young cousins serve in his court.” “One serves…”

[Olen]

Quite a different fight to the previous one, in some ways the opposite way round with Julian being more skilled but weaker. The reading her opponent by touching blades was an excellent way to show just how learned she is with the katana now as was her taking control of the fight from there.

The change into her being friendly with Valdemar after she freed him was well done, as was the tie in with Destri's stuff. I'm interested to see if you take the latter any further because the introduction of the characters is seamless and really works for me.

I sense Sancre Tor will proove a defining moment for Julian, after this I think she will feel she belongs more in the blades. She might also begin to fully realise just how formidable she is.

There may be a more elegant method of “de-forumizing” a story, but…

One option which occurs would be to PM the author and ask for a copy of the original document(s), it would save a lot of copy/paste work.

This post has been edited by Olen: Jun 25 2011, 02:54 PM

[Grits]

I love the Nord way this fight started and ended. First the charging in like a Nord bluff, and finishing with a desperate struggle on the ground. The swordplay in the middle was simply dazzling. I don’t think I took a breath the whole time I was reading it.

“Find and take my shield. Alain gave it to me when they took away my mace and made me fight with this katana,” he touched the hilt at his left hip.

I found this very moving. All of the friendship, sacrifice, and dedication behind the words come through in this one little sentence.

[SubRosa]

Another rousing and well-thought out battle, chock full of strategms, and surprises. Julian just barely survived that, and she still has two more two go!

Valdemar's mention of his weird finally having caught up with him was a wonderful link to the same man we know from Destri's story.