.___________________ .Sixpenny’s Siege___________________ Fredas, 26nd of Sun’s Dusk They’d been traveling for less than an hour, and already she knew something was wrong.
“Alright, I got one…”
The sun was wan, the atmosphere was fair. One thing nice about Hjaalmarch so far: it wasn’t so bleedin’ cold here. This was partially due to an overnight weather formation which caused a bubble of warmth to pocket its way into the region, melting most of the snow which'd previously coated the ground even just a few hours ago.
“Why do pirates take a long time to learn the alphabet?”
The party had arranged themselves into their usual formation: Sixpenny striding up front, the two male soldiers in the middle, Laprima and her horse taking the rear, Tårn varying her position. Sometimes the Nordic was alongside the elf, sometimes she was following the horse, sometimes she’d be somewhere in between.
Again though, something odd. Laprima noticed some figures. Individuals, on the distant horizon. Hard to tell, but it looked as though there were three of them. All three were walking the road with obvious purpose, getting closer. Laprima couldn’t see yet who they were, but the glint of their apparel was unmistakable.
“Ahhhhhhhh.” Draper pondered the question. “Why do pirates take a long time to learn the alphabet? Hmm. Something to do with troll’s bane?” he guessed. “Nah, I give up. Why do pirates take a long time to learn the alphabet?”
The glint of their armor…. The unmistakably
golden glint
of their armor.... “Because they spend lots of years at
C!” Rokkr Van Haggar’s laughter wheezed across the tundra. “Get it? At
C?”
“Yeah, I get it,” Pierre Draper shook his head. “Hurr hrr harr.”
“...Like the letter C instead of the word sea…”
“YEA, I get it, Red.”
Sixpenny… went Laprima’s sudden thought,
he is up to something. I can feel
it. I KNOW
it.“That's nothing," Van Haggar replied with a smirk. "Be prepared to truly be stumped, Pierre, when I tell my next one. Stumped, just like a fallen oak tree.”
Something about the way the elf’d been eyeing her the day before, after she’d returned from conferring with Rorik, carrying the glow of success. – The party had begun to celebrate after they’d learned of Rorik’s acceptance, but quietly so. Too loud, and their revelry might be perceived as inappropriate gloating. So they’d kept their celebration low-key. Bought a round of drinks after her successful return and began toasting each other. They’d also bought food: sweetrolls and raisin bread, feasted around the table, and later an entire roasted boar. Because here was confirmation, confirmation that their toil and hardship upon the road so far might just be worth it in the long run. Lady Donnaugh was making some sort of difference, they agreed.
“Right, stumped, what-ever.” Draper was speaking now. “So here’s one.”
“Go ahead!”
“Which room, in a house, do zombies spend the least time in?”
There were also the things Sixpenny had mumbled three nights ago in Dragon Bridge, after Laprima had pretended to fall asleep. Something about ‘the first step being taken’, or some such. Aye, the man was up to something. To increase her suspicion, all the previous day in Rorikstead (and into the night) he’d been gloomy and evasive; his usual verbal swagger noticeably absent. The lack of sarcastic comments he’d normally utter left an obvious series of voids, moments which would've been typically filled by Sixpenny-style taunts and thinly-veiled insults.
”Nords, they just do not understand the benefits of proper magic…” or
”Womenfolk, performing the roughneck duties of men…”“Aww, that one’s so old,” Van Haggar shook his head. “So old, it's damn-near rusted out. Heard that one as a lad, Pierre. Which room do zombies spend the least time in? Answer: the living room.”
“Drats. Got me!”
As of now, Sixpenny the elf was standing off to the side of the road a bit. His hood had been turned at a peculiar angle.
“Draper. Rokkr.
Tårn!” Laprima’s voice, urgent yet hushed behind the soldiers. Without realizing, she made the gesture which caused her unnamed horse to halt. "Attend! Toward the road ahead!"
Actually, Tårn was already aware. She’d already come to a cautious halt. “Kan bli fiender,” she woman-growled in her language. “Are to fight?” she then followed in the common tongue. No answer was necessary. Her giant blade already seemed a pre-motioned answer.
The figures approached nearer, until they were a few meters away. Thalmor! Two wearing the golden armor issued by the Aldmeri Dominion, the third dressed in a similar dark robe as Sixpenny.
"And so, we come to the end of the road,” Sixpenny announced with a smirk. “Well, the end for
your party at the very least," he said directly to Laprima. "I'd introduce everyone to my cohorts...."
"Looks more like goons," Rokkr muttered.
"...but I'm afraid there shall not be any need for pleasantries. We'll all get acquainted in a few minutes either way, but be forewarned. Chances are not
all of you shall have a chance to vacate this soirée, and continue onwards."
The ambassador said nothing. Suddenly, she was glad she was wearing armor, purchased from Rorikstead’s smith the day before. At Draper’s suggestion, she’d bought a set: cuirass and leggings of hide, after he explained how necessary armor could be along the road.
“What exactly have you in mind, Sixpenny?” Pierre Draper asked. “Not that I need to ask. I can tell an attempt at military blockade when I see one.”
“Very astute,” answered the elf. “I must say, though we’ve had our differences Sargent Draper, I will admit I admire your cognitive abilities.”
Draper said nothing.
“Indeed, we are here to relieve Lady Donnaugh of her current detail,” the elf replied, pointing at each soldier one by one. “This can be done in either of two ways: by relent or by force.”
Tårn made a soft noise, almost like an animal’s snarl.
"Rggllllsshhh…." hard to tell whether this was an actual word or not.
Which Sixpenny ignored. ”In effect, should it not be obvious to you, Lady Donnaugh, it is our aim to now separate Your Ladyship from these … inept, undisciplined 'guards' you've been assigned.”
To which Laprima shook her head sadly. “Knew something was amiss. Ever since I overheard you muttering about attaining the first step in your plan, or whatever some-such diabolical nonsense. Knew you were up to no good,” she said, angry and grinding her teeth.
“Up to no good?” the elf scoffed. “Bite thy tongue, woman! We are here to
exalt your current position within proper society!”
Though she was not entirely interested in hearing exactly what this meant, she couldn't help but ask. “Exalt my current position?”
“Affirmative. We, us Thalmor this is, are now going to take you back to Solitude. Ultimately, we shall both return to our embassy. There, we shall introduce your eminence to the sort of life you SHOULD be enjoying!” the Altmer’s voice rose, his hands and arms gesturing with passion. “Which is to say, not out here traveling the roads! Shivering and sniveling! Risking thy very life with these ninnies…”
Sixpenny was grandstanding now, lifting his voice across the tundra (which, at that odd moment, Laprima noticed was more colorful than the landscape of Haafingar). Obviously, the elf was proud to have duped everyone so far.
"...there you shall live the life of a princess," he promised, actually smiling. As if she’d suddenly consider such a thing. “A queen of thy domain, a baroness titled with proper land ownership,” he explained. “Whatever you desire. No more scrubbling along the roads, hoping to change the outcome of a war which shall never be won by
their kind,” he pointed again. “For it shall be us, US! The mighty Thalmor, who shalt decidedly reign supreme across this land!”
"Not if we can help it," muttered Van Haggar, readying his warhammer. “You all are going down,” he warned, his usual mild voice gaining an edge. “You fooled us, I’ll admit. You’ve also blocked the road, look at this! But most of all, you interrupted our joke session. And for
that, you shall pay.”
“So, you are choosing to take us on rather than relent, ignoring the possible initiative of your party’s smarmy leader?” Sixpenny pointed to Draper. “Very well. It shall be
you who’s left deceased on the side of the road Red Rokkr, for the wolves and the vultures to feast upon.”
Everyone by now was prepared for battle, but Sixpenny’s soapbox moment was not over just yet. “Jarl Elisif, she already knows of our plans,” he explained to Laprima. “She knows, and has fully approved of this outcome.”
“I refuse to believe that,” Laprima replied, fingers edging toward her shortbow.
"Please, do not bother for that," Sixpenny warned, his expression almost apologetic. “I do understand your logic, Lady Donnaugh. This is quite abrupt for you, I do understand.” He steepled his hands, readying whatever magical spell was to come. “Let me just repeat, we have no desire to harm you, Lady Donnaugh.”
“Do not call me that, ‘Lady Donnaugh’.”
“Fine. Laprima, then. We have no desire to harm you at all, Laprima Donnaugh. You can simply walk away from these… brutes, and the matter is resolved. In fact, I shall gain higher compensation if you are to walk into our embassy unscathed, but that is beside the matter.
“Us goldenrods, as we're so fondly referred to by your kind,” he continued, “we could use a pretty face to represent the Nedeic side of our organization,” he added, another snide smile right there upon the lower half of his V-shaped face. "We do accept other races, you see. And what better way to welcome the Nords, the Imperials, the Bretons to feel more welcome, than an actual member of royalty representing their kind."
He faced the soldiers: Draper, Rokkr, and Tårn. "And after we disperse this... so-called guard detail, we shall have full credence to do as we wish." He turned to Laprima again. "Lady Donnaugh, now is the time for you to stand aside and allow destiny to take its course."
"Told you once, do not call me that!"
"Ah, apologies," the elf replied. "Heat of the moment, my manners have gone by the wayside,” he raised his hands again. “What can ya do? But otherwise, you shall see, Laprima Donnaugh. Our dominion shall treat you with the utmost respect and grace you deserve."
Finally his sermon was over. Sixpenny turned to the three Thalmor. "And now, it is time. HUZZAH!" he called. Apparently this was their cue for combat.
"Somebody help!" a woman called, one of the random travelers who'd walked by just then (there were several). Laprima barely noticed as the woman put her hands above her head, then scurried off.
"I'll see you
BURN!"
The rest of the moment was a blur. Laprima stepped back and drank one of the regenerative potions she'd brewed back in Solitude, while the Solitudians and Thalmor commenced attack! -- Sixpenny threw one of his extremely loud shock-attacks
*BKSSH!!!* while Laprima readied her bow. Aimed. Then released straight toward one of the amber-suited Thalmor. One thing for sure; Sixpenny's promise was true; nobody attacked the ambassador. Which gave her an opportunity. She grabbed for another arrow, this time making sure to poison it.
"You cannot conceive of the power I wield!" one of the Thalmor warned Tårn, while the giant swung her enormous greatsword at the bastard. Laprima (again) took the time to aim carefully before loosing straight into the golden Thalmor's side.
"I'll paint the snow with your blood!" Van Haggar roared, even though the ground had been completely bare of white for hours.
"BEHOLD the Mighty THALMOR!" cried one of the elves.
Other than this, it was difficult to quantify whether the archer made much of a difference during the battle, as weapons swung, spells were cast. One of the Thalmor was also a dedicated archer, shooting arrows into the fray. This lowlife became another obvious target for Laprima, standing off to the side with his cheap hunting bow.
"Arrgh!" he called as she poisoned the man from afar.
Blood and fetters, gauntlets, boots, taunts and warnings... once again it all happened so fast, and was all over before she knew it. Draper
sliced upon the Thalmor who'd shown up swinging a mace of iron, while Van Haggar took on an additional Thalmor wizard, one of the goons,
bashing the fellow with his enormous warhammer!
Sixpenny himself lasted the longest; his years of magical training and mastery much more dedicated than whatever background his goons had received. And because of this, the mage who'd joined their party four days ago, surreptitiously plotting to force Lady Donnaugh to come along with him once the ambush was over,
force her to follow him, locked within ropes and chains if necessary, was suddenly surrounded by Draper, Rokkr, and Tårn. The years he'd spent since the age of twelve, since his youth in Summerset, practicing and utilizing his covert attempts at wizardry, they were no good as
all three soldiers clambered upon his person at once!
Slicing and dicing and bashing!! -- The final moments of the elf's life were gruesome, not that they should've been anything other than such. Laprima danced and glanced around this way and that, her bow pointed as she circled, making sure none of the goons were left standing.
...
Sixpenny, being surrounded at that moment; there was no way the archer could even hope to cause the elf injury, not with all Laprima's allies slamming in the way.
"No!!
NO!!!!" The fight was over. Amazingly, it was done. And none of her party had been downed, except for Sixpenny. Arguably, he'd forfeited his position long ago, of course. Didn't truly count, then! After everything had concluded, Laprima could not help but scream a battle cry over the mage's fallen corpse. In past days she'd been upset; hesitant to gloat after viewing the results of the enemies she'd caused direct harm to. But
this time she was proud!
This time, she felt she'd truly made some sort of a difference. She called and she cried and she let it all out, her normally pleasant downhome Cyrodiilic voice now the shriek of a banshee!
"Yah, that's it!" Rokkr Van Haggar approved while Tårn joined in. Suddenly, all four of them were shouting and yelling over the fallen!
Upon looting the Aldmeri, a real score for Lady Donnaugh: one of Sixpenny's goons had been carrying a magical staff. The soldiers explained that here was a powerful weapon, a weapon which could be wielded and utilized by anybody, thereby causing the staff's carrier to become as adept as any mage of destruction, as long as they properly aimed. Laprima thought at first she might just sell the dreadful thing, surely it'd fetch some pretty nice coin in Riverwood. But after holding it a moment, and then
willing the magic within the staff to release, my goodness such a rush! The resulting ball of fire which raced across the plains zoomed over its grasses, before smashing into a faraway boulder!
Nay, this staff of destruction would
not be sold to Riverwood's trader.
And now that all loot had been collected and they were back on their feet, it was the noble's turn to try for a joke.
"So, what did the number 8 say to the number 0?" Laprima quizzed the soldiers.
"You're halfway to 4?" asked Draper.
"Hmm, I dun-know," replied Van Haggar.
Tårn made a sort of squeal, perhaps frustrated at being unable to understand.
"Do you think this belt is too tight on me?"
Huur hrr harr harr the soldiers laughed, as the sun continued to shine across snowless meadows.
~The End (Season Three)~
---------------------------------------
Laprima and TårnSinister SixpennySixpenny's SermonSixpenny goons approachMulling Melee - (Love the guy just standing to the side, watching it all.)
Sixpenny zaps TårnShocks and Swings!"Crying" over SixpennyLady Donnaugh's New Destruction Toy--------------------------------
Thanks again to all.