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> Madness Helps Me Save Myself
Jacki Dice
post Jan 13 2011, 02:14 AM
Post #1


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Joined: 18-March 10



Hello again. Thank you all for reading my previous thread, Champion of Madness. As I posted before, I felt the story was in need of a lot of work. First off, titles are one of my weakest points. I have to admit, it took me hours to come up with "Champion of Madness" (sad, I know) but it just didn't feel right, not to mention the fact that it didn't work with the upcoming Oblivion Crisis. Other than that, there were characters issues, plot holes, and world building issues that I felt could only be dealt with by starting fresh, with a better idea of where I was going.

That said, I'd like to welcome you to the revamped version. I hope you all enjoy it ♥

PS....I made a typo in the title... I sure feel silly now -_- Please ignore it.


~~~~~♥~~~~~

Prologue



Wrothken didn't even flinch as a deafening roar erupted from the arena. He remained in his seat at the bar, his head slumped over a cup of tea that had long since gotten cold. He sat listening to the dull buzz of quiet conversations, his ears searching for specific words. He knew he shouldn't. If he happened to overhear something that he didn't want to hear it would send him into an even deeper pit of despair or rage, like when that jerk the other night asked Kirsty if Wrothken's "Uncle Flo" had been in town. Wrothken knew what that implied as did the rest of the bakery. And many people found it hilarious up until Wrothken nearly beat that man to death with a chair.

Chop. Chop. Chop.

He could tell Kirsty was right in front of him. He could smell lavender lingering under the scent of fresh bread, cinnamon, and ham. He heard her sigh softly. He knew she wanted to help. She even tried getting him rip roaring drunk and then taking him to a brothel. Oh, what a fiasco that had been. The drink only magnified his sorrow, causing him to bawl like a baby in the middle of the street and then once he was with the working girl his body wouldn't cooperate, no matter what she did. Though she had shrugged it off, claiming to have seen that a thousand times, it wasn’t exactly something that a man ever quite lived down, drunk or not.

Kirsty sighed again. "You're only letting them win."

Wrothken raised his head slightly. Behind his curtain of Bravil-water blond hair, he saw her tiny hands holding a large knife and slicing up some ham. He brushed the hair from his face and looked up all the way. She was such a mess, but cute in a way. When she opened up that morning she had been wearing a nice, clean turquoise blouse. Now, even though she wore an apron, it was covered in white and brown powder. Her dark brown hair wasn't long enough to braid, so she wore it in a simple ponytail, though as the day went by the short locks that were once bangs escaped. Her cool brown eyes were on the meat, though she occasionally glanced up at Wrothken.

Wrothken stared at the ham. Its scent was suddenly the most captivating thing in the world and his stomach announced it loudly.

"What was that?" Kirsty asked, setting the knife down. The bright blush across his face told her the answer. "What have you eaten today?"

Wrothken shrugged. He hadn't been feeling hungry lately but when he had, the thought of food sickened him. The very act of chewing and swallowing seemed like just too much effort.

Kirsty huffed and set a cinnamon apple muffin in front of him. The crumbly top beckoned him, the sweetness he knew he would find seducing him. Yet the thought of eating turned his mouth sour. Still, if he didn't eat it, Kirsty would probably jump over the counter and shove it down his throat. He bit into it, trying to catch the crumbles before they hit the floor.

"That's better," she said, continuing to chop up the ham. "You look like you've lost weight actually."

Wrothken grunted. Atrea had been pestering him to lose weight for years. He was broad-shouldered and a bit "snuggly," as Kirsty put it. It was almost funny how the pounds began to shed after he caught his intended in bed with another man. A thigh slapper really.

"Great," he finally said. "Now if I could just lose all my body hair, maybe I could win her back."

Kirsty crinkled her nose. "No, don't do that. That's just...weird. Have you ever seen a hairless Nord? It would look off and I bet you’d hate the feeling. And besides," she looked at him, wagging her knife as she spoke. "If you take that girl back, so help me, Wrothken, I will beat you with my rolling pin until the sense comes back in your head."

He believed her. She didn't like Atrea much before but now it was full on hate. The feeling was mutual. Not that she ever admitted it, but he knew Atrea was insanely jealous of Kirsty. He didn’t think she should have been, but he could understand why. Kirsty built herself up from a grape picker for Tamika to a little pastry cart by the markets to an upscale bakery. She was as strong, persistent, and smart as she was beautiful, and Wrothken happened to work late with her most nights. Not that anything happened. He had honor. He was faithful.

"Have you given any thought to my idea?" She asked.

He had, but he didn't really want to go through with it. "I won't run away," he said quietly. He would rather drop dead than give them the satisfaction of knowing they ran him out of town, tail between his legs.

"I never said to run away," Kirsty said. She glanced back at an hourglass atop the oven. The pink sand was almost all the way at the bottom. She swore under her breath and began chopping faster. "I said take a break. Go on a trip for a while to help clear your head. Maybe meet some new people while you're at it."

"But they'll think I ran away!" He protested. He could imagine them laughing about it after a good romp in the sack. His stomach churned at the thought.

Kirsty set her knife down again, exasperatedly saying, "Who gives a flying guar what they think? They aren’t worth the filth under your boots. Why are you going to let them control your well-being?" She chopped furiously. "Do you really think it’s healthy to just hang around here forever? Or avoid places because you're afraid to run into them?"

She had a point. Kirsty always had a point and she would nag and push and prod until the point was not only seen, but agreed with.

"Where would I even go?"

"Well," she looked at the hourglass. It was empty. She opened the oven and pulled out a batch of flaky croissants. "You're from Bruma. Why not start there?"

Wrothken's slapped the counter. "I'd sooner hunt mudcrabs while skyclad!"

Kirsty laughed a bit.

"I'm serious!" Wrothken said, shoving the rest of the muffin in his mouth. "If I set foot there, my ma will bludgeon me with 'I-told-you-so' until my ears bleed! No way am I going back there like this!"

"Okay," Kirsty said taking out a bread knife. She took each croissant and cut it in half before slathering on creamy butter. "How about the Imperial City? There's lots to offer there. In fact, I'd like to move there one day..." She trailed off for a moment as a slight smile grew on her lips.

He agreed on that point. The Imperial City was the center of everything. A man could make his fortune there just as easily as he could lose it. All kinds of opportunity was found there.

"And I'm not saying forever, either." She continued, placing the sliced ham on the bottom halves of the croissants. "Just a week or two. Just enough time to clear your head."

"But what about you?" He asked.

"I'll be fine," she said as she started to slice bright tomatoes. Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Wrothken was amazed that she never sliced a finger off with how quick she was with her blade. "If I could get from Valenwood to Skingrad on my own, I'm sure I can handle a few drunken oafs. Besides, it’s just for a little bit. Worst case, I can see if Yyaevannte can come by now and then. He’s not as big as you, but he’s Fighter’s Guild."

Wrothken could see that she wasn't going to let up. As much as he wanted to just go back upstairs and sulk in bed, she would just push it later, over and over and over until he went mad. Women. Why did they have to be such nags?

"Fine, fine," he sighed, getting up. "I'll get my gear then."

"Hold it," she said. "It's not enough to just go. This is a chance for a new beginning. Once you leave those gates, I want you to think of it as the first day of the rest of your life. No thinking of her. No thinking of him. Now, you are going to reclaim your dignity. Just promise me that."

He nodded. He didn't remember ever seeing her so serious before. "Alright, I'll do my best."

"Good! Now, come see me before you leave. I'll pack a lunch for you. And write to me once you get there."

"I will."

"No, promise me. I know how you are. You'll forget the moment you find something interesting. In fact, I'll even write a little reminder for you."



This post has been edited by Jacki Dice: Dec 23 2019, 07:29 AM


--------------------
Madness Helps Me Save Myself
Nemesis

Standing on the cliffs that kiss burning winds
We are rising together
Brazen, exalting, a hiss of triumph rings
I am yours
...Yours immortally
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Posts in this topic
Jacki Dice   Madness Helps Me Save Myself   Jan 13 2011, 02:14 AM
SubRosa   Oh my, you retool you certainly did. Whatever writ...   Jan 13 2011, 02:40 AM
D.Foxy   Am I seeing double now? Oh, Mad Nell, Hep me ensla...   Jan 13 2011, 02:55 AM
Grits   She had a point. Kirsty always had a point and she...   Jan 13 2011, 10:47 PM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ I love how this drips with bitter sarcasm...   Jan 15 2011, 05:30 AM
SubRosa   A fight with a bandit that ends with them running ...   Jan 15 2011, 07:39 PM
mALX   I went into Manheims one day and he got stuck o...   Jan 17 2011, 08:18 PM
Thomas Kaira   Man man man man manly man man man... Wrothken sou...   Jan 17 2011, 09:52 PM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ That's always been a picky thing for ...   Jan 18 2011, 12:44 AM
SubRosa   He just had to know what was there, otherwise it w...   Jan 18 2011, 02:20 AM
mALX   I'm so glad you kept the cheese in there - tha...   Jan 19 2011, 11:29 PM
Jacki Dice   The cheese rain was a huge thing since I thought t...   Jan 21 2011, 03:00 AM
Thomas Kaira   Jayred headed back to Passwall. "I've bee...   Jan 21 2011, 11:30 AM
D.Foxy   See? I told you I was catching!!! :me...   Jan 21 2011, 12:01 PM
Grits   He was about to get dressed when he caught a glimp...   Jan 21 2011, 04:19 PM
haute ecole rider   TBH, I found the Shivering Isles and the whole Mad...   Jan 21 2011, 04:47 PM
D.Foxy   To continue in TK's and Foxy's vein, I sup...   Jan 21 2011, 04:56 PM
mALX   EW! Kisssing the bones! Blech !...   Jan 21 2011, 05:03 PM
SubRosa   I really enjoyed your description of Wrothken...   Jan 21 2011, 05:33 PM
Jacki Dice   Thomas Kaira~ I think there was a show or a movie ...   Jan 21 2011, 10:01 PM
SubRosa   Goddess what a title! :lol: He wanted to as...   Jan 21 2011, 11:43 PM
D.Foxy   Mah Dear Jacki....have you take a look at exactly ...   Jan 22 2011, 03:17 AM
mALX   I love the new drawing of Wrothken !!!   Jan 22 2011, 04:04 AM
Thomas Kaira   Goddess what a title! :lol: I take full respo...   Jan 22 2011, 05:53 AM
mALX   [i]Goddess what a title! :lol: I take full r...   Jan 22 2011, 09:02 AM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ :D Well, you have to admit the title is q...   Jan 23 2011, 08:11 AM
Thomas Kaira   I see you didn't make too many changes to the ...   Jan 23 2011, 08:51 AM
mALX   Your rendition of Sheogorath is so apt, lol. I lo...   Jan 23 2011, 12:35 PM
SubRosa   A fun introduction to the capital of the Shivering...   Jan 23 2011, 09:31 PM
Jacki Dice   Thomas Kaira~ I love writing with Sheogorath. He...   Jan 24 2011, 07:24 AM
D.Foxy   This time I caught the nits first!!! ...   Jan 24 2011, 11:25 AM
haute ecole rider   hello, Dan Fogelberg fan! I remember him well ...   Jan 24 2011, 03:06 PM
mALX   I love the drawings (and pics, Dolce) you are inc...   Jan 24 2011, 03:16 PM
SubRosa   If Wrothken and Bacchus were both were heading in ...   Jan 25 2011, 01:49 AM
Jacki Dice   Foxy~ -sniff, sniff- I can't believe that got ...   Jan 26 2011, 11:08 PM
SubRosa   How he would love to go home and shove that in peo...   Jan 26 2011, 11:40 PM
TheOtherRick   I haven't read the whole story yet. As a matte...   Jan 26 2011, 11:43 PM
mALX   SubRosa already caught my favorite line: "sh...   Jan 29 2011, 04:26 AM
Grits   The short brunette was livid and Wrothken only sto...   Jan 30 2011, 12:25 AM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ I didn't even think about that! I...   Jan 30 2011, 02:13 AM
SubRosa   Sadly, his aching body told him otherwise. I real...   Jan 30 2011, 04:19 AM
mALX   I absolutely hated this quest - first time in any ...   Jan 30 2011, 07:25 PM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa & mALX~ I always drive them insane too...   Feb 2 2011, 02:45 AM
SubRosa   Once again, I loved Wrothken's reaction to see...   Feb 2 2011, 04:30 AM
mALX   EW !!! Cutter wouldn't speak...   Feb 4 2011, 01:02 AM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ I love Cutter too :) She says the starnge...   Feb 4 2011, 07:42 PM
haute ecole rider   Oohh, smooth operator! And Yyaevonnte (now ho...   Feb 4 2011, 08:56 PM
Grits   "Maybe," Yyaevonnte said. "Well, I...   Feb 4 2011, 10:58 PM
SubRosa   Instead, they used bonemeal. When those wood elve...   Feb 5 2011, 12:15 AM
mALX   What a great twist you threw in there with Kirsty,...   Feb 5 2011, 05:36 AM
Jacki Dice   haute ecole rider~ I'm actually unsure how to ...   Feb 6 2011, 08:52 PM
mALX   ROFL!! Nothing sexier than a man that co...   Feb 6 2011, 09:03 PM
SubRosa   Its a wonder she doesn't knock around everythi...   Feb 6 2011, 10:44 PM
D.Foxy   May I interject that a boring guy might be quite g...   Feb 7 2011, 12:25 PM
mALX   May I interject that a boring guy might be quite ...   Feb 7 2011, 04:26 PM
Grits   The dead bouquet of flowers is so sad. Awour plo...   Feb 8 2011, 12:00 AM
Jacki Dice   mALX~ Lol! poor Wrothken! Maybe she's ...   Feb 11 2011, 04:51 AM
Captain Hammer   Oh, Thadon, Thadon, Thadon. So full of life, so fu...   Feb 12 2011, 12:23 AM
SubRosa   Once again, Haskill does not disappoint! Are...   Feb 11 2011, 06:24 PM
mALX   Makes you wonder if Wide-Eye isn't the one tha...   Feb 12 2011, 01:37 AM
Grits   After thinking about it on the way to pick up his ...   Feb 12 2011, 03:01 PM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ I love his "Are we getting the pictu...   Feb 13 2011, 08:36 PM
SubRosa   @ Grits: instead of staring moodily off into space...   Feb 13 2011, 09:04 PM
haute ecole rider   Oh, the irony of this in view of recent events in...   Feb 13 2011, 09:05 PM
Captain Hammer   So Wrothken meets Sontaire, and comes away walking...   Feb 14 2011, 01:46 AM
mALX   Like a state trooper in your rearview mirror, l...   Feb 15 2011, 02:25 AM
Grits   "Sorry, but... um..." He tried to think ...   Feb 15 2011, 03:54 AM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ Oh yes, Sontaire is another of my favorit...   Feb 15 2011, 11:54 PM
King Coin   I love your story! I can't wait for the ne...   Feb 16 2011, 02:45 AM
SubRosa   I have never been in Sontaire's bedroom. An ov...   Feb 16 2011, 03:09 AM
haute ecole rider   I echo what's already been said. And it seems...   Feb 16 2011, 05:44 AM
Captain Hammer   Wow. You really capture the mood here. Felldew is....   Feb 16 2011, 05:47 AM
Grits   Wrothken going from trying not to taste the fellde...   Feb 17 2011, 03:15 PM
mALX   GAAAAAAH!!! I remember this part f...   Feb 18 2011, 03:23 AM
Jacki Dice   King Coin~ Aww thank you ♥ SubRosa~ Talking...   Feb 18 2011, 06:26 AM
mALX   ROFL !!! That had me rolling !...   Feb 18 2011, 06:54 AM
Grits   Poor Amiable! Im with Wrothken, Id have to h...   Feb 19 2011, 02:54 PM
SubRosa   Uh-oh... Wrothken thought. What can of worms had h...   Feb 19 2011, 10:17 PM
mALX   Uh-oh... Wrothken thought. What can of worms had ...   Feb 19 2011, 10:22 PM
King Coin   The Shivering Isles was fun but I preferred Cyrodi...   Feb 20 2011, 02:39 AM
Captain Hammer   And Wrothken learns more about Mania. I wonder how...   Feb 20 2011, 04:17 AM
Jacki Dice   mALX~ :P Those kinds of arguments are always fun...   Feb 22 2011, 01:41 AM
Captain Hammer   One in particular caught her eye. A young Colovia...   Feb 22 2011, 07:34 PM
SubRosa   Once more, I love how you described the way Lilitu...   Feb 22 2011, 02:14 AM
haute ecole rider   And we see darling Lilitu Marleen yet again. I rea...   Feb 22 2011, 02:16 AM
King Coin   Lilitu is taking an unusual way to Cheydinhal, but...   Feb 22 2011, 04:21 AM
mALX   Edit: Ah yes, the Italian mother who gives her ...   Feb 22 2011, 04:45 AM
Grits   Wow, that was some way to wake up. Im glad he lef...   Feb 23 2011, 06:24 PM
TheOtherRick   What I have read of this story (through Chapter 5)...   Feb 23 2011, 07:47 PM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ That feeling with Dolce is easy to recapt...   Feb 28 2011, 04:39 AM
SubRosa   I just love seeing the girls play. So Liltu...   Feb 28 2011, 04:55 AM
haute ecole rider   Loved this latest installment. Lilitu is turning o...   Feb 28 2011, 03:18 PM
mALX   Lilitu has her own way of handling things that is ...   Feb 28 2011, 05:23 PM
King Coin   Alright an update! Nice to see Lilitu taking c...   Mar 1 2011, 12:39 AM
Grits   Wow, Lilitu really gets it done!! It seems...   Mar 1 2011, 11:12 PM
Jacki Dice   SubRosa~ If only Lilitu had more time, then maybe ...   Apr 9 2011, 03:37 AM
haute ecole rider   Welp. I didn't think one could be racy and sti...   Apr 9 2011, 05:16 AM
King Coin   YAY! To be honest I thought this story died. I...   Apr 9 2011, 03:33 PM
SubRosa   I wonder if the Serano's nearest neighbors are...   Apr 9 2011, 10:27 PM
mALX   Great lead in for the Savilla's Stone quest in...   Apr 11 2011, 03:25 AM
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