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> Seven Reimagined, A new view of an old story
SubRosa
post May 6 2018, 03:26 AM
Post #1


Ancient
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Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



A while ago I wrote Seven, which is set in Tamriel. Afterward I thought about adapting it to an original setting. I did a lot of world-building, remade the characters to fit the new world, and got started into translating the story over.

I ran out of steam when I started looking at my over-arching direction, and started seeing some problems. The biggest one was that I had in mind a big High Fantasy story - an ancient race rising to destroy the world, champions rising from the dead, the army of light banding together to fight off evil, and so forth. The twist I planned to this standard format was that the protagonists were trying to stop the war, rather than win it. With finding a peace between all involved being the end goal, rather than destruction.

But the story I was starting out with - Seven - is Low Fantasy (at least the way I define it). Farmers and mercenaries vs. bandits. Ordinary people, with ordinary problems. I like that, as it feels very accessible, and makes the characters, even the extraordinary ones, feel more relateable. So that made me want to continue in that vein, and do a series of stories about a pair of hired spells who are part mercenaries, part private detectives. Sort of like Spenser For Hire or Magnum P.I. with magic. That in turn meant scrapping the entire over-arching story. Or trying to bridge the gap between Low Fantasy and High Fantasy. It left me with a lot of questions, and I was not feeling excited about the answers. So I ended up setting it all aside.

Instead of leaving it all collecting dust, I decided to post what I did finish up here. Maybe it will fire me up to get back to working on it again. People who have read Seven will recognize most of the main characters. Names have been changed in many cases. Some because the originals were Bethesda creations, others to suit the new races/languages. Speaking of which races and the like are entirely new, as is the geography, flora and fauna, how magic works etc... I will put some of that here in this post, and start the actual story in a second post. Let me know if you want to see more of the background notes, and I will put them in this post.


This is a world map

This is the continent of Aulerci, where most of the action takes place



Aela

Loria



The Stone Forest (IRL The Shilin Stone Forest outside of Kunming)

Another example of karst landscape


An Oro (IRL Orodromeus)

A Crumhead (IRL Parasaurolophus)

RL Troodon (the inspiration for the Teodon race)

Troodon front

Troodon head

Ancient Rasen Armor (IRL Samnite bronze armor)

Bronze lamellar armor

Bronze lamellar armor again


Veia Map

Rasen street

Rasen city

Rasen apartment block

Rasen-style architecture





Phereinon

Phereinon again

Malediction

Owl Screeching

Owl Carving





Serves Camna



Wooden mug

Tamac (tomahawk)



Raven pendant

Hrafngoelir

Hrafn's shield

Hrafn's seax


Venca



Rasen bedroom

Rasen bedroom 2

Rasen bedroom 3



Lorcras armor

Hagalaz rune




Horse-Powered Ferryboat 1

Horse-Powered Ferryboat 2

Spirecrown - Saurolophus Angustirostris





Lambeosaurus

Parksosaurus

Ornitholestes

Hadrosaurs 01

Hadrosaurs 02

Orodromeus

Gasparinisaura

Ouranosaurus

Maiasaura

Tropical Milkweed Beetle




Teodon Coloration (this is just what their scale colors look like, not actual representations of the characters)
Alcheon's coloration

Daehyun (a very common peasant coloration)

Dark Eye (though his belly is not so brightly white

Sindeok



Banyan tree

Durian tree

Bromeliads

Bamboo forest

Solagea


Kye Rim Graves

Teodon Dok

Teodon village house

Teodon village house



Earthen rampart, wall, and ditch

cheavaux de frise


Shield Wall training




Fighting Moves
Dark Eye's finishing move against Daeso

Phereinon's belly to back suplex (German Suplex) that she used upon the Arvern Oathman of House Camna

Here is a link to Sindeok's killing move against Brown-Scales

Morte Strike and Half Sword Defense


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haute ecole rider
post May 21 2018, 03:35 PM
Post #2


Master
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Joined: 16-March 10
From: The place where the Witchhorses play



I have to agree with everything Acadian said - he picked out the things I really liked about this segment.

I have to respectfully disagree with Zalphon on this:
QUOTE
"...The irregular spikes of limestone rose up hundreds of feet into the air, and spread out in all directions. It was as if someone had taken a forest, and replaced all the trees with towers made of rock..."

I feel that this may have been better shown had you had a brief snippet of dialogue about it, or perhaps made mention of one of the characters being awe-struck by it. It'd have the same effect, but I think it would feel more organic and integrated into the story instead of having painted a background image for the characters to act in front of.


Any such dialog would have occurred when the characters first entered the zone, prior to entering the barrow. Upon exiting it, they would have been more interested in dividing the loot and recovering from their injuries. The brief mention of the environment is, I feel, more appropriate to Aela's nature and her assessment of the exterior surroundings. It seems to me that you were going more for the contrast between the ruins of the settlement, which was damaged by the battle below, and the untouched splendor of the stone spires beyond, which Aela, being so attuned to above and below, would have automatically noted.

However, I do second the rest of Zalphon's assessment, especially the passage about healing with magicka! wink.gif


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Posts in this topic
SubRosa   Seven Reimagined   May 6 2018, 03:26 AM
SubRosa   Seven 2.0 Chapter 1.1 Aela rocked on her heels a...   May 6 2018, 04:29 AM
Acadian   By Julianos' little teapot it is good to see y...   May 6 2018, 06:55 PM
Kazaera   Hey, it's Aela! It's great to see her ...   May 7 2018, 04:56 PM
Renee   I really like the part where it says she could see...   May 7 2018, 06:32 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: It is good to work on writing again. Find...   May 7 2018, 10:26 PM
haute ecole rider   Infodump?? What info dump? For the most part the ...   May 8 2018, 12:08 AM
Renee   Infodump?? What info dump? I didn't notice t...   May 8 2018, 02:01 PM
SubRosa   Infodump?? What info dump? For the most part the...   May 9 2018, 10:06 PM
SubRosa   Chapter 1.2 Aela finally allowed her ward to drop...   May 12 2018, 03:21 PM
Acadian   Another fascinating episode! I simply love h...   May 12 2018, 11:38 PM
haute ecole rider   Skjoldbreki! Finally someone explains how we m...   May 14 2018, 02:53 PM
Zalphon   I would like to start by saying I appreciate the s...   May 17 2018, 10:25 AM
SubRosa   Acadian & haute ecole rider: My goal here is t...   May 19 2018, 04:04 PM
Zalphon   The thing I notice initially is a lot of telling i...   May 20 2018, 08:47 AM
Acadian   This was a wonderfully engrossing episode with lot...   May 20 2018, 04:43 PM
SubRosa   Zalphon: I do like the idea of using dialogue to c...   May 26 2018, 05:52 PM
haute ecole rider   Well. This section sounds very Korean to me. ;P ...   May 26 2018, 11:22 PM
Acadian   Exotically fascinating! Lots of world buil...   May 26 2018, 11:27 PM
SubRosa   haute ecole rider: I am so grateful for you turnin...   Jun 2 2018, 05:15 PM
haute ecole rider   oooh, both magic and swordplay! Pretty tense f...   Jun 6 2018, 04:25 PM
ghastley   This all had me wondering about how a conjured wea...   Jun 6 2018, 05:15 PM
Acadian   Quite the sword fight! Loved your description...   Jun 7 2018, 05:53 PM
SubRosa   haute ecole rider: Daeso was partly inspired by Ki...   Jun 9 2018, 04:58 PM
Acadian   ”The scales of men will quake at the sound of yo...   Jun 10 2018, 07:51 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I wanted to show some of Dark-Eye's c...   Jun 16 2018, 03:49 PM
Acadian   Another wonderful episode chock full of goodness a...   Jun 17 2018, 04:21 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: The last segment was another good opportu...   Jun 23 2018, 05:02 PM
Acadian   A wonderful introduction of the villagers seeking ...   Jun 23 2018, 11:28 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: Hopefully they will be magnificent! ...   Jun 30 2018, 04:36 PM
Acadian   Nice to see you unleash the full slender of your d...   Jun 30 2018, 08:47 PM
haute ecole rider   YASSSS! Pursephone! I made the connection ...   Jul 3 2018, 03:44 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I was originally going to simply describe...   Jul 7 2018, 08:50 PM
Acadian   Very much a pleasure to read as you weave this tal...   Jul 8 2018, 09:38 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I wanted to show that with an item as rar...   Jul 14 2018, 04:09 PM
Acadian   Aesensing – Yes, I thought perhaps you had inten...   Jul 14 2018, 09:27 PM
haute ecole rider   I continue to draw inferences between your fiction...   Jul 18 2018, 08:02 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: We are finally getting to the start of th...   Jul 21 2018, 09:02 PM
Acadian   By Julianos’ Little Teapot! :O With the M...   Jul 22 2018, 07:33 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: Aela and Loria certainly agree that White...   Jul 28 2018, 04:38 PM
Acadian   Cool spell to hear things not intended for Aela’...   Jul 29 2018, 07:32 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: While Aela is far from being a superhero,...   Aug 4 2018, 04:09 PM
Acadian   Your descriptions are wonderful throughout! Y...   Aug 5 2018, 08:51 PM
haute ecole rider   AAAnd Dee Foxy makes his appearance!! :wub...   Aug 6 2018, 01:50 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I spent a lot of time working on Waranari...   Aug 11 2018, 05:00 PM
Acadian   Wow! White Hair, Kitsune and now Goldenlocks ...   Aug 11 2018, 06:04 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I am liking how the Seven Magnificos are ...   Aug 18 2018, 04:54 PM
Acadian   Woot! Number Five is Alive! Another wond...   Aug 18 2018, 07:52 PM
haute ecole rider   Oooh, who is that Venca? Where have I seen HIM bef...   Aug 20 2018, 02:05 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: Venca is indeed our Seven Magnificos...   Aug 25 2018, 03:45 PM
Renee   A relaxing morning scene, other than some hair-fig...   Aug 29 2018, 03:32 PM
Acadian   A wonderfully girly morning and pause in the actio...   Aug 25 2018, 07:57 PM
Uleni Athram   5.2 - 5.3 Delicious, delicious combat. The techn...   Aug 30 2018, 12:50 AM
SubRosa   Acadian: I really like those old Roman beds, with ...   Sep 1 2018, 03:17 PM
Acadian   Using White Hair’s need for Aela’s spirit-calm...   Sep 1 2018, 07:44 PM
haute ecole rider   Oooooh, this is getting even better than I have co...   Sep 1 2018, 09:16 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I was pleased with how I was able to dove...   Sep 8 2018, 04:36 PM
Acadian   Nice character development here that begins with A...   Sep 8 2018, 07:38 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: As I have been going back through the sto...   Sep 15 2018, 04:39 PM
haute ecole rider   Aww, an adorable chick episode! Complete with ...   Sep 16 2018, 06:19 PM
Acadian   Rider is right – a delightfully girlish episode....   Sep 16 2018, 07:10 PM
SubRosa   haute ecole rider: I had two women talking to one ...   Sep 22 2018, 03:26 PM
haute ecole rider   Sigh. I am hearing Tumindil's voice once again...   Sep 22 2018, 11:19 PM
Acadian   More and more, I’m realizing that much of Aela...   Sep 23 2018, 08:01 PM
SubRosa   haute ecole rider: That does indeed remind me of T...   Sep 29 2018, 03:59 PM
Acadian   Aela’s delightful romp with the water undines wa...   Sep 29 2018, 08:00 PM
haute ecole rider   I really liked that whole confrontation/conversati...   Sep 30 2018, 05:16 PM
Renee   , I've fallen behind... [i]way behind. Hard fo...   Oct 3 2018, 03:37 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: Every time Aela tries to get some quality...   Oct 6 2018, 04:16 PM
Acadian   A wonderful and easy to follow instruction period ...   Oct 6 2018, 08:04 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: One of the things that really annoys me a...   Oct 13 2018, 04:05 PM
Renee   The magic tutorial had me fascinated, that was awe...   Oct 14 2018, 06:42 PM
Acadian   A neat interlude from the Seven’s water journey....   Oct 18 2018, 09:20 PM
SubRosa   Renee: The Shadowrun and Earthdawn rpgs were excel...   Oct 20 2018, 04:17 PM
Renee   Check out Scott Cunningham's book Wicca: A G...   Oct 29 2018, 03:14 PM
Acadian   A fascinating look at this river ferry that blends...   Oct 21 2018, 07:46 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I was originally going to use horses on t...   Oct 27 2018, 05:07 PM
Renee   But she has no body odor. She does not sweat. Sh...   Nov 12 2018, 06:06 PM
Acadian   A richly detailed study of life along the river. ...   Oct 28 2018, 07:39 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I could have just said "they sailed ...   Nov 3 2018, 04:30 PM
Acadian   What a wonderful episode as Aela addresses the man...   Nov 4 2018, 08:28 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I wanted Aela's sex change to be more...   Nov 10 2018, 03:31 PM
Acadian   Nicely done! You painted a nice feel for li...   Nov 10 2018, 07:37 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I think I learned the part about the bird...   Nov 17 2018, 05:15 PM
Acadian   A rather ominous transition through bandits, necro...   Nov 17 2018, 09:42 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: Now that the river journey is complete, w...   Nov 24 2018, 07:06 PM
Acadian   Wow, the situation the villagers face is grim but ...   Nov 24 2018, 08:42 PM
Renee   Wow, the situation the villagers face is grim but...   Dec 11 2018, 03:52 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I put a lot more work into the background...   Dec 1 2018, 05:26 PM
Acadian   No surprise that Alcheon is beginning to show his ...   Dec 1 2018, 09:22 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: All I need is Aela twisting her sunglasse...   Dec 8 2018, 07:45 PM
Acadian   A great deal of wonderfully rich world-building go...   Dec 9 2018, 12:57 AM
SubRosa   Acadian: I definitely worked hard at showing vs. t...   Dec 15 2018, 05:11 PM
Acadian   An instructive display of sword fighting, when the...   Dec 15 2018, 06:17 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: Things have really slowed down in the sto...   Dec 22 2018, 06:19 PM
Acadian   You really bring the jungle-forest surrounding Agr...   Dec 22 2018, 08:58 PM
SubRosa   Acadian: I expanded on the size of the village thi...   Dec 29 2018, 06:23 PM
Acadian   What a delightful episode as we finally arrive in ...   Dec 29 2018, 09:50 PM
haute ecole rider   I continue to enjoy this reinterpretation of the S...   Dec 31 2018, 05:13 AM
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