Elessar's Story, My first fiction Options

[Elidor]

OKay this is my first attempt at a fan fiction so be gentle

Prologue

I was not in a good mood. My luck really wasnt that bad, usually in a night I could at least pull off one successful excursion into a local shop for a meal. But tonight it was most unfortunate the owner of the nearest tavern had decided now was the day to install a set of bars to his window.

"Hmm must have caught on to the fact he was constantly robbed blind by yours truly through that opening every other week" I mused to myself, strolling through the damp, well-trodden cobblestone streets.

I recounted in my head the, now I thought about it, quite strange fact my favorite target,the local tavern, slowly receeding into the darkness of the failing moons, had finally had the the crumbling lower corner of its storeroom outback fixed too.

Ohwell another cold, hungry night I thought, sidling through the crack of a rundown shack I had claimed as my own. The now lit, small guttering light of the only candle in my room gently revealed an old inch thick matress on the floor beside a pile of crumbled clothing. There wasnt much room beacuase of the half caved-in wall but it was something of a sanctuary for me, safe from prying eyes and other hopeful thieves.

Lying back on my matress I slowly allowed sleep to come, uttering a small prayer to any god that helped poor thieves, blowing out the candle and closing my eyes.

~~~

Sunlight beamed in through the opening of my little haunt and brought me slowly to my senses.
Yawning lightly and getting up, I pulled on my cleanest set of clothes (pilfered from a commoners house, stupidly unlocked and unfortunately devoid of anything more useful) and hid my knife in the sole of my shoe.

As I emerged into the street, passed by folks of the less pleasant sort, I stopped to decide on what to do. Hunger was again gnawing at me and food seemed a great idea.

So decided, I padded off after the tavern, folks at the Green Tunic were hardly as watchful as they should have been and many the unguarded purse was easily accessible; upon slipping into the dank old building I carefully looked around, drunks and haughty nobles were easy, especially the latter as they considered themselves above the menial complication of being robbed and rarely expected it for some reason.

Peering through the gloom with the ease an altmers eyes provided, I spotted the ideal prey: an unshaven, glum looking merchant sitting next to a large tankard of sujamma.

Now, his drink was something of a kicker and by the looks of him he was rather entoxicated. I made my move.
Sneaking over and sitting beside him quitely, I casually eyed his plump black moneybag with something of astonishment, this man had quite a purse half hidden at the edge of his waist. Sidling closer still the drunken git barely noticed anyhing letalone my careful advance.
Reaching down as I stared ahead, I casually removed my boot-knife and easily cut the purse open at the seams filling my own leather satchel as the unlucky fellow downed a mouthful more of sujamma.

Getting up and moving too soon was my terrible mistake, the fellow noticed this movement and turned around, squinting suspiciously
"wsho rre yooh?" he said, slurring his words horribly,
"Why I am merely a fellow come for a drink." I replied cautiosly. He looked at my satchel of money and began something which I drowned out, thinking quickly,
"Might I night drunk, black as blue and filled with guars?"

He stopped, and tried to comprehend my words as I took off barely containing my mirth to the door of the tavern warranting some suspicious stares from other patrons, eyes on my back as I raced away.

Back in the street I sped around a few buildings and along a lane. I then found the place I was looking for, a ladder leading up to the top of an old closed apocathary, in amongst the damp squalid slums of the city.

Once safely hidden behind the chimney on the roof I caught my breath and let out the contents of my now bulging purse.
"Three hundered septims!" I burst out, unable to stop myself as the fat gold coins tumbled into my lap, laying there glittering serenely.

Oh now this was more like my customary luck! I almost cried with joy, there was enough for a hot meal, new clothes, even a few books to keep me interested during every other night plus spare!

Then came the clattering of the ladder I just climbed and the angry grunting noises as someone ran to the climb the ladder I had raced up previously. I decided now was not a good time to celebrate and jumped up, leaping and racing over the rooftops.

Glancing back I saw something truly frightening. A fast Khajitti bounding after me, dagger drawn and staring hungrily at my purse which was jumping around at my thighs and jangling loudly.

Apparently someone had heard my foolish exclamation.

~~~

Thats it for now, please comment as id love to know what you think of the start of my story.

cheers, elidor.

This post has been edited by Elidor: Feb 7 2006, 12:12 PM

[Tellie]

Oh, this is definatly off for a good start, I have missed your comments on my own story, but it's not that big a deal.

I'm going to continue wathcing this, and also reply on it.

Nice to have a new writer here on the forum.

One tip though, start on a new line when making sentences, and it will be more easyer to follow this story.


So may I have some more Elidor.

[Elidor]

There, I fixed it properly.
Thanks for the comment, I havent had a chance to see some of the other fictions so i'll start now.

[Wolfie]

You may want to consider putting that part at the top in italics or something, as it took me a second to realise where the story actually started

[Elidor]

You may want to consider putting that part at the top in italics or something, as it took me a second to realise where the story actually started

lol sorry about that

[Elidor]

'Not good, really not good!' I screamed inside my head, this khajiiti was more than likely a hundred times faster than I.
But perhaps there was hope, I being a rather average Altmer had something his furry fingers would never feel the true power of ... magic! Even though I couldn’t really do much more than turn myself invisible and paralyse, it could still work to my advantage.

Thinking quickly, I dove off to the left of a particularly large chimney and at once cast a minor invisibility charm. The khajiit, slowed to a halt a few steps before me and did something I didn’t count on... He sniffed for my scent!
That meant no time, so lunging out I grasped his ankle and thought fiercely the incantation of a paralysis hex.

The khajiit was skinny and looked undernourished, his matted fur was thick with grime. Quickly I riffled through his belongings and found much to my pleasure a sharp short sword and two shining gold septims .
Not trusting the beast to forget me, I clonked him hard over the head, watching the sickly green glow of the paralysis spell fade away and leave the limp khajiit unconscious.

Jogging back to the favoured little hole I called my own I decided now was the time for celebration.
My mat was old I though cheerfully but still useable, as for a new blanket? Great idea. And a proper few lanterns would be nice along with some decent food and more to store at home.
So, leaving the new weapon and half of my gold as a safety precaution, I left in search of some traders, a fiercely happy grin on my face.

~~~

The moment I set foot in the crowded marketplace sounds and colours and all manner of different things assailed my senses.
Roasted meat on tenterhooks, giving off a most seductive scent and glistening warmly in the midday sun, Jesters roamed around laughing madly and shopkeepers screamed their wares to the market at large.

Walking in amongst it was so amazing now that I had some coins to rub together! Opportunities opened to try and buy so many new and exotic things.
A good two hours later I sat contentedly watching people pass me by and imagining what fine things I could buy with my money, taking swigs of the smooth, scented wine bought earlier.

Sun blared down and the burble of talk was so soothing and the wine so very soft that in no time I was completely asleep, conveniently hidden from almost all the publics view by the trash bins around me.
"Get up you mangy mongrel!" The guard shouted, kicking me in the ribs and sending me in a half roll away from my sleeping spot.
"Its illegal to sleep on the streets and you’re going to pay for it now!" He said half dragging me down the street.
I being half knocked out by intoxication could barely walk let alone explain myself.

The next day I found my self with a head bursting with pain and nothing more than the clothes on my back.
Head reeling, I leant against the bar and hollered a little more loudly than I wanted to.
"Where the bloody hell am I??" I screamed again. Slowly in the gloom two black robed imperials stomped up to the door, and I could hear the jangle of keys.

"Wait! What do you want? I haven’t done anything! What are you doing??" I yelled in quick concession as they grabbed me, the one on the left mumbled something harsh and quick and before I knew it I was in total darkness, completely asleep.

[Tellie]

Ohhh, good Elidor, you're improving, poor Ellesar, finally got some money, and then he get arrested for sleeping on the streets.

Overall a good update, so I'd say go for it. You're writing is good, and you manage to push exitement into it, and stops at the right moments ( as for now, we want to find out what will happen to him ).

Please give us some more preciouss.

[mplantinga]

An interesting new story. It sounds like our protagonist has had a run of bad luck. But perhaps his luck is about to change? I am looking forward to finding out.

[Elidor]

This one will be relatively short as its the end of the prologue, please comment on what you percieved from my intro to the story.

~~~

"Wake up already!"
I groaned, sitting up groggily
"You were dreaming, come on, up!"

Imediately my eyes flew around the room, rapidly taking in the scene and the scarred Dunmer. Walls curved away from me and all around were baskets and crates stacked up high, a lantern sat on top of a precariously lilting pile. It shed light around the ark interior lighting up a kindly but frightening face.

"Im Juib" The Dunmer offered as he helped me up. "Who are you?"
"E-Elessar" I managed as my surroundings groaned and swayed.

Must be the drugs I thought, thinking back to the freaky black-robed men abducting me from the jail.
"Well near as I can tell we're heading for Morrowind" He said sitting back on a lumpy sack.
"Heading? M-Morrowind? Wait, what???" I stuttered, glaring suspiciously at the possible prankster.
"Yes, the ship will dock very soon, in M o r r o w i n d" He replied, saying the last word slowly as if he were talking to a five-yearold. Suddenly the swaying world made sense.

"Wheres my money?" I thought painfully reminded of the happy day spent in the near past.
"You have nothing but the clothes on your back my friend" Said Juib noncomitally. Rage-inducing irony was made very apparent to my seesawing mood, just like my seesawing luck I thought.

"Quiet, here comes the guard"
Heavy boots came pounding up to the cabin and the now apparent Imperial pointed at me and said gruffly,
"Hurry up your stop is here."
I shrugged, anywhere was almost better than the unforgiving streets of Cyrodiil, and followed him up the unfamiliar galleon and uptop to find a friendly brown face smiling at me from underneath wild dreadlocks, quite out of place in his neat and tidy Imperial uniform of studded leather.

"Head on down to the deck and a guard will take you to the excise office." Came his rumbling voice.

Nodding to him and hitching on a smile to ease my dirty looking appearance, I strolled down to the next fellow who promptly adressed me.
"Ah this will be over soon" he said seeing my slightly wary smile, "Now where do you hail from?"
"Er, Summerset Isles actually thats the one one the far top-"
"Just need to know the province thanks, please follow me up to the office and the good man will give you you'r release papers."

Ah finally some good news, release papers were just what the doctor ordered I thought happily.
Upon entering the large but cozy building of stone and thatch I was immediately confronted by a blithe and slightly irate old Imperial with a quill jumping over papers clutched by his thick veined hands.

"Name and proffession?" He snapped without looking.
"Elessar Somerandiil" I replied quickly and gave a moments hesitation. Class?

What do I want to be thought of in this entirely new place? Perhaps it wasnt important at all, why what if...
"Cat-burglar" I said confidently and giving him a cheeky grin.
The Imperials eyebrows soared like hairy white caterpillars and he gave me a thoroughly intense glare. A moment passed and he still stared, I did not break my gaze, so quite suddenly and very uncharactaristically, the old man gave a thin chuckle and scribbled down the class.
"Whatever you want stranger."
Glad to see I had some charm at hand I watched him continue scribbling.
" I am informed you were born under a specific sign?" Came the voice now buried in the task of re-reading the previously written lines.
"Why yes, the Shadow actually." It impressed me greatly of the old mans knowledge, he must know someone very well connected because I couldnt recall telling many people of that particular detail.
"Very well, continue through to Sellus Gravius to have your papers signed and receve your release fee."
Release fee? Excellent I thought, sounds just fine to me.

Collecting my scroll I set a jaunty stroll into the next room to find a pleasant surprise. Expensive silverware and food sat on the table alongside a rusty dagger that looked newly sharpend.

Stuffing it all into a sack from the cellar beneath, I took it out into the small courtyard beyond the oaken doors.
Slipping it over the fence proved not to be difficult and if anyone thought a bag of home decor jumping over the Excise courtyard wall odd, there was no sign of it.

Searching the barrel next to the door yeilded even more goods to my delight! A plain almost clumsily made ring that glowed with inner illumination came up with a grey gem I had no idea the origins of.

Slipping both into my pockets and imagining what more good luck could come of this sudden and come to think about it incredibly strange turn of events, maybe a good idea would be to ask about it from this Sellum Gaves person, Gellus Sarvius or something or other.

The knight within proved very pompous and my meeting with him was short. But even more happily noted as upon leaving the front door with a bag of ninety golden coins and some reletively useless order with accompanying package ringing in my ears.

My forune really was looking up!

End of Prologue

[Tellie]

ahh, good ellie, you are continuing fine.

So please dont stop now, may I have some more please.....

[Elidor]

Hehe "ellie" i have a nickname and more will come with the new chapter, but I dont have time to wrie atm sorry.

[Tellie]

yea yea, I think ellie was a cool name ( more female though, but I guess you dont care ).

All in all, you had no reason of being worried to post this storyhere, I think it was a great start to it,and I'm looking forward to seeing the next chapter.

Keep it up ya'hear.

[Elidor]

Starting on my first chapter..

Chapter 1

The heavy sun was surprisingly hot for late afternoon I thought to myself as I walked through the dingy port town. "Bloody humid" I muttered wiping sweat away from my face and stopping to get my bearings.

The town I was in was a far cry from the Imperial City I was used to and the overwhelming smell of rotten, damp swamp gases did nothing to welcome me.

The sooner the better to get out of here I thought and the hand instinctively went to my belt. The purse was drooping now with around half my previous amount but still a tidy sum.

'Now first to get some food and a weapon, then its time to observe the security placed on some of these squalid little huts.'
"Excuse me my good woman" I called to an elderly Altmer like myself, hitching on a smile and waving her over.
"Yes, outlander, can I help you?" She replied and gave me a glance over.
"Most certainly, you see I seek some services around here."
"Arilles Tradehouse outlander, its the only place to go around here except the siltstrider up top."
"Stilp rider?" I asked, quite bemused.
"Not Stilp, Siltstrider and its basically the easiest way to travel between towns, its the gigantic creature to the north of the town. Darvame Hleren will be able to negotiate a price to about four of the closest towns."
"Thankyou very much for your help" I said turning to leave when she told me I was welcome.

Seemed like the best idea was to go to Arilles then get some gear and then a nice stroll would be fine to innocently check house protection, perhaps there were some easy pickings around the dingy place.

I picked my way through the old damp mossy buildings finally finding the trade house and entering expectantly.

Inside the store was fairly quiet but from an upper landing glass cups could be heard clinking around and a low burble of voices clearly told it was somewhere folks bought drinks.

Around the lower floor however were a table, some sacks and a shelf filled with things ranging from arrows to fine liquors to robes. An old Dunmeri woman quietly browsed while a hawkeyed Altmer in the corner of the store watched me.

"Can I help you High Elf?" Called the storekeeper, obviously Arille.
" Yes, may I simply browse your wares, in particular I am in need of some food and equipment." I replied as he hurried over.

~~~

Two short hours later I was outside the tradehouse hefting a neat silver short sword and some nice solid chitin armour.
What Arrille didn’t know was his fancy stone chest on the counter was now empty of the fifty gold coins inside and he fine locket he had been wearing was nice and comfy in the folds of my shirt.

While I didn’t consider myself a pessimistic sort of person, the personalities around this town were giving me a particularly unlawful urge to do something bad. The Innkeeper Arrille was a snooty, self-serving jerk; the stupid little elf running around badgering everyone for some trinket and the aggravating stares from guards was enough to send a person mad.

Regardless it was time to hitch up the usual smile and go about geting more money to leave this bleak view of Vvardenfell. A large burly Nord who was calling after me cut my musings at that point short.
"High elf! You High elf!"
That was usually my cue to run but something about his roguish and hardy demeanour stopped me, would he really be after me for an dislikeable oaf like Arrille?
"Yes?" I called unable to keep a note of weariness from my voice.
"I was wondering if someone sneaky such as yourself could help me out"
Sneaky? Whos he callin sneaky?
"Excuse me?" I said, staring hard at him.
"Oho I saw that bit of fanciness with that lock pick! A right sneakthief you are, which is why you can help me. The elf Fargoth has been holding out on me with his er...protection money. Might you see if he’s hiding it somewhere? The Watchtower gives a great looksee over the town, and I’m willing to split the money with you should you find it."
Idiot, stupid great oaf! How could he be so stupid as to miss the biggest flaw in his 'plan'? Easy pickings!
"Why of course, Id love to help!" I said, the brute had sharp eyes to see me working that chest behind Arrilles back but still he wasn’t smart enough to see he could have held it against me for all the elf was hiding.
"I'll find you as soon as I catch the runt." I said again and dismissing the Nord with a wave.

As the Nord went back into the Trade house I made straight for the Tower, I was more than likely to catch this annoying fellow when it was dark, and light was receding quickly.

The lady inside paid me no heed as I walked past her and up the stairs, a well placed book and jug of alcohol pleased me only a little more than the beautiful sunset sight over the entire town of Seyda Neen.

A good hour into the book and on my last rounds of ale saw Fargoth emerge from some bushes snakily and creep along towards my position. He soon doubled back and began advancing on a muck pond behind Arrilles Tradehouse.

Fargoth bent down and fiddled with the stump roughly in the middle of the pool for roughly ten minutes before bending up and walking quite normally away. Lying down behind the large fire atop the tower was quite warm and I decided here better than anywhere to spend the night.


Thats it for now folks.

[Taillus]

Woah how did I miss this one. I am sorry for not reading this sooner but this is quite well written. I was instantly drawn in by your writing style. Very articulative and quite descriptive but not over done and not dragged out. I will be patiently waiting to read more of this interesting piece.

[jack cloudy]

Elidor is doing just fine. I am surprise that that Nord saw anything at all, though. I always thought he was a brainless drunk. Please update soon.

[jchamber]

fear not for I am watching
-jail chamber (me)...and azura I guess....

I like what I have seen so far, Once I have a chance to read all the way through what you have written I will edit this to have some more detailed praise, but for now I have to go to class, I hope to see an update in the near future.

[minque]

What Mr jchamber said!..About liking that is.....not the fearnot-thingy!

keep it up now!

[Elidor]

A warm, soft breeze brought me back to consciousness and at a perfect time too.
Everything together below me was truly enchanting altogether.
The fine clear blue sky was framed by lush green trees loaded with mossy over hangings, the rocky boulders that dotted randomly about the countryside’s shared room with large clumps of bushes surrounding pools all over the place.

The little fishing village nestled along the edge of the sea and fitted in quite well. With a great yawn I walked the short set of steps into the lighthouse and deposited the book and empty bottle before leaving.

I made my way straight to the sump and waded into the dirty muck, 'this had better be worth it' I thought, wincing and wiping away a sludgy splash of mud off my face.

Wow, once again my luck returned in force. No less than three hundred septims and a nice pick. 'Probably stole it all' I mused, pocketing it and getting out. Time to have a little bath.

A fairly long way out of town and I found a nice spot between some boulders by the murky waters edge for a swim. Stripping to just my pants I allowed the dark water to enclose my golden shoulders.
After ten minutes in the cool water I decided I might finish up and go for some breakfast when I got the first bite.

"YYYEEEE-OOOWWW!" I fairly leaped and spluttered out of the water to discover a dirty greyish fish clinging by long thin teeth to my hip, leech style.
"Beast! Creature of Oblivion! Take that!!" I swung at it with my unused silver short sword and cleaved it in two.

Muttering and grumbling, I began to walk along the path to Seyda Neen when the smell hit me, quite obviously the scent of death. True to my first thought, a short search around yeilded the bloody body. I held my nose and riffled the belonging to get an idea who the person was.

A tax collector. And his collections on him too! 'My lucky day it truly is' I thought putting away another two hundred septims. Now five hundred drakes the richer in the space of a morning I decided life wasn’t really that bad at all. Again I set to the path, curving around and setting back a ways distance to the side.

"AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh-" The horrible scream sounded somewhere overhead an ended quite abruptly some twenty paces from where I stood. Disgusting! The crushed and bloody body of a bosmer mage lay at my feet; this was beginning to get quite annoying, finding dead people all over the place and what-not.

A searching of the unfortunate yeilded a most curious result. Power fairly radiated from three scrolls at 'Tarhiel's' hip, and his diary revealed his name and of a somewhat uninteresting desire to prove some stuffy mages wrong over something.

It also explained the scrolls use too. Such a powerful piece of magic bound into the scrolls made it quite valuable, but dangerous and stupid. Its all well and fine to jump miles into the sky by like all earthbound things, you have to come down. Like a tomato actually I thought absently pulling a weakly shimmering blade from underneath him.

The weapon didn’t interest me much, it was bulky and enchanted weakly with some light electric spell. And this time I decided I would not go looking for another dead person and quickly made my way into Seyda Neen.

After pawning most of the items I didn’t need from the strange morning I had only just left Arrille's when a long bow from somewhere around my midriff stopped me dead. The annoying little elf Fargoth was holding a taut bow aimed directly at my face, and I didn’t doubt the fellow could use it being a wood elf and all.

"You’ve got my money and my ring! Give them back!" He fairly howled, nudging me with the bow as if to remind me i was facing an arrow to the face. Once again quick thinking saved me
"Ah but you will not need those my friend when you have his powerful artefact! It allows you to become more powerful than you could dream of!" I exclaimed pulling the last scroll of Tarhiels
"Take it" I said and the greedy elf dropped his bow paying no caution, happily grabbing it and evoking its power evidently before I could 'change my mind'.
"Now jump in the direction of the sea, to seal yourself in immortality!" I crowed and the stupid fellow complied.

Watching the soaring elf I chuckled and decided I might as well head for somewhere else. Seyda Neen now bored me.

[Tellie]

"Now jump in the direction of the sea, to seal yourself in immortality!" I crowed and the stupid fellow complied.

Watching the soaring elf I chuckled and decided I might as well head for somewhere else. Seyda Neen now bored me.

haha, that is bound to be the best Fargoth exposing through all times, I simpli laughed so much that i banged my head into the screen.....OUCH....

please ellie, give us more, but next time, Iought to strap myselfto the chair, in case more extremely funny things crop up. you're GREAT.

[Kiln]

Haha, I just caught up on this one, each bit is written well with few grammatical errors and is well organized. I really liked the dealings with Fargoth in the last update (though I don't know why so many people hate him he never seemed to bother me...), you're off to a good start so please continue.