~The Little Coffee Shop~, mmm, cake and coffee Options

[Foster]

School. Everyone seems to be at school. I remember school. I hated it. I still do. The reunion comitee keeps trying to track me down, and don't take swear-word filled responses about how I hate them all and wished they'd leave me alone to heart. Yet they don't. Why don't they understand? If they bullied and tormented me in school, the only thing I want to hear about them is their obituary, not whatever they are now doing.

Really, school is the worst years of your life. Then you get to University, and it's great. The opposite sex get a hell of a lot more attractive too, and you make contacts and friends for life. You can also take up exotic and bizarre hobbies, such as hitting people with rubber swords pretending to be a pirate, sports where it doesn't matter if you're rubbish or not, Scuba diving, and various weapons based activities that are otherwise hard to find (like Archery, Fencing, and Medieval reinactment).

[Kayla]

My boyfriend is graduating in a week and he'll be going to college soon. He's moving an hour away until I get out of school. I worry about how things are going to be from now on and I'm trying to adjust. I hope he has fun in college though. But, I also hope he will remain faithful to me... As in not flirting with other girls and stuff like that. I trust him immensley, and we're really planning our lives around each other, as we're planning on going to the same college together after I graduate. I just need to survive two years...

It's really on my mind as of late. But, I don't think things will be too bad. At least, I hope not.

[Ibis]

Kayla,
Don't feel bad that your boyfriend is moving an hour away to go to college, that won't be such a long distance at all. You 2 will still be able to see each other alot of the time.
My boyfriend from high school went to college in Albuquerque and I went to college in Ohio. We spent so much time on the phone - every weekday night = that my Dad made me get an on-campus job the second semester just to pay my own phone bills.
But he and I, despite the fact that we only spent school holidays and the summers together, stayed together for 3 years. If I hadn't gone to Europe for 4 months and some other girl got ahold of him while I was gone - we might still be together.

But it's better the way things turned out because I've got a great hubby now.

[Olav]

Kayla,
Don't feel bad that your boyfriend is moving an hour away to go to college, that won't be such a long distance at all.

If I drive from home 10 minutes later than normal I end up spending almost an hour in rush-traffic to get to work - which is about 10 km from my home... If I drive on schedule I take about 15 minutes.

So indeed, 1 hour away is not far (unless it means 1 hour by plane )

[Kayla]

Thanks guys! I feel a bit better about it. Plus, I trust my boyfriend so much, I believe that nothing bad will happen. I just have to keep looking on the bright side.

[Foster]

One hour isn't much. But the one thing to remember is not to be too clingy in the first few months (well, ever really, but there we go), as he's got to find his feet in his new situation. Just make sure that you are a part of his life, but not something he associates with his past situation.

I've seen a lot of couples split by distances, and have even had a few long distance relationships myself (this isn't that long, by they way - try 5000 miles!) so I know that the best way isn't to be too overbearing. Be supportive and there for him, but don't make him feel as though he can't move on to the next stage of his life - which is what college is about, after all.

[Kayla]

Thanks. That makes alot of sense. I wasn't really sure how I should act... But, now I feel alot better... Like I have some direction.

I feel like I'm getting alot of experience with that right now. He just recently got his first job, and I'm having to adjust to his inconsistent schedule. But, I don't think I'm being too overbearing about it. Plus, I'm trying to be very supportive. So, I think things are going to work out for us. I know I'm willing to work to make that happen.

[DoomedOne]

Ugh, my dad just told me I'm moving in A WEEK!!! I can't stand it. I have to find somewhere to live here.

[Dantrag]

How old are you? 17?

[Channler]

Thanks. That makes alot of sense.    I wasn't really sure how I should act... But, now I feel alot better... Like I have some direction.

I feel like I'm getting alot of experience with that right now. He just recently got his first job, and I'm having to adjust to his inconsistent schedule. But, I don't think I'm being too overbearing about it. Plus, I'm trying to be very supportive. So, I think things are going to work out for us. I know I'm willing to work to make that happen.

This is the only but of advice.. And its from a dudes point of view (so don't mame me if it sounds bad)

I've seen long distace relationships work, and I've seen them fail. From what I gather your a Sophmore? And obviously hes a Senior. Please don't commit yourself untill your unpleased with everything (thats quite bland actually) I guess what I'm saying is College is a different place. Different people, different settings, different etc etc.

As a guy, and this is a gross generalization, we like to move at our own pace, and as such our pace could really fast, or hellishly slow. But in the end its defined (again generaly) by our current situation. I hope that he remains faithful and true to you, but you must accept the fact that your going to have to find a way to control that.. emotion that you feel for him into something you can create with, not destroy..

Damn, I need to learn how to keep my thoughts from running on.. So.. In summary.

Live your life how you want to live it, not how others deem so. If your happy and content so be it, but if your not, something needs to change. (That little advice comes from a previous experience of mine.. I learned it the hard way.. Long Distance Relationship that didn't work out..)

-=-

What up doom? Father kicking you out or just moving in general? I mean, I know a dude from my =US= Clan that your could stay with

[Kayla]

I'm 16. I'm a Sophmore, he's a senior. We've been dating for a year and a half. We're really happy with each other... and I really just get this feeling that he's "the one".

I trust him, he's my best friend. And he feels the same way about me. I'm going to be very supportive of him when he's in college. I understand that we both have to live out our lives and everything. I really feel that he will remain faithful to me. He makes a huge effort to be with me already, so I know that we'll see each other, even though we'll be separated.

[Channler]

I'm 16. I'm a Sophmore, he's a senior. We've been dating for a year and a half. We're really happy with each other... and I really just get this feeling that he's "the one".

I trust him, he's my best friend. And he feels the same way about me. I'm going to be very supportive of him when he's in college. I understand that we both have to live out our lives and everything. I really feel that he will remain faithful to me. He makes a huge effort to be with me already, so I know that we'll see each other, even though we'll be separated.

Well thats good.. just as long as his male insticts don't kick in , j/k!

You two sound like you'll be fine, I just felt the urge to be the devil advocate for once.. I wish you two the best o' luck.. Channler Style

[Foster]

Well, you are young; a lot of people will be saying "you can't know he's the one" and such, but then when I was 16 I doubt I listened to them either. I hope it works out, and obviously try and stay together, but just don't be too disheartened if you find the situation changing. And don't feel obligated to stay with him if HE changes, which is another possibility altogether. Like I say, you're still young. Plenty of time for relationships.

Personally, I am now 23, old, bitter, and sworn off the opposite sex for life. They're all evil, insidious, devious and foul hellspawned creatures whose sole purpose is to spend my money and cause me a life of enslaved, torpid misery. Sure they've got their plus points, but I've got absolutely no intrest in ever having another relationship. Then again, that's also because I hate children and wouldn't ever want them - which is always going to be a problem in a long term relationship. And if you're not dating for the long term, I can't see the point (beyond the obvious) of dating short term at all.

Still, like I say, I'm jaded.

[Kayla]

Aw, Foster, you need to give us wimmens a chance!

We're not all horrible, manipulative, gold diggers.

[Ibis]

My, my, my Foster .... we're going to have to send out one of our subtleist sisters to charm you back, I see. hahaha

Don't think automatically that the desire not to have children will always be a problem, there are some women who feel the same. My hubby and I have always been in agreement on that and it was one of the points that brought us together as a couple.

As for evil and all that ... I can see that you've run into some foul creatures pretending at love (believe me, they are out there masquerading in both sexes) but don't give up on the entire lot because of a few. You are going to miss an awful lot of your best moments if you do that!

[HyPN0]

Personally, I am now 23, old, bitter, and sworn off the opposite sex for life. They're all evil, insidious, devious and foul hellspawned creatures whose sole purpose is to spend my money and cause me a life of enslaved, torpid misery. Sure they've got their plus points, but I've got absolutely no intrest in ever having another relationship. Then again, that's also because I hate children and wouldn't ever want them - which is always going to be a problem in a long term relationship. And if you're not dating for the long term, I can't see the point (beyond the obvious) of dating short term at all.

Still, like I say, I'm jaded.

I understand that you don't want to have a relationship,but to hate children?How can one hate children?Please,i would just want to know why?

Aw, Foster, you need to give us wimmens a chance!

We're not all horrible, manipulative, gold diggers.

Yes you are!
j\k offcourse.
But i have noticed an intresting fact:
If you open your heart to them,thay can be real satans.But if you lie,manipulate,make tricks,then you can score.I don't know why is it so,but my experience shows me it's like that.A weird thing a woman brain is.....When you treat them like princesses,they don't like you,when you treat them like cattle,than you can get their attention......Again,i don't know why is it like that,but i know that it's like that.

[Kayla]

I think we all (women in general) have a tendency to overthink and look on the bad side of things. It's tough for us to see when our boyfriends do something good as opposed to whenever they do something bad. It takes alot of training to get out of that state of mind, and some of us never do. Sometimes, I slip up and forget all the good things my boyfriend has done for me. It's just an irrational thought process we go through.

[Channler]

Wow.. You just done in 1 hour what I've tried to do in nearly 9 years...

Find out why women act like that...

Whats the solution then? I mean, sometimes it just seems that I never get through no matter how wonderful I try to act...

[Kayla]

I really don't know what I can tell you. It's more or less the woman's problem. It is best to try and explain to them that you do try, and that it is unfair of them to expect things from you.

Often women are dissatisfied because they are sitting around, waiting for their boyfriend to do something they deem romantic. Have they ever gotten mad at you because you didn't do something? In that case, it's best to explain to them that you are not a mind reader and if they want you to do something, then they'll most likely have to ask for it.

It's not really a man's problem. It's more or less the woman's problem. You have to tell her that you express your feelings in a different way than she does and probably in a different way than what she expects.

[Ibis]

The way to get and keep a woman's interest is what yer mom told ya - be yourself. Don't apologize one bit for being who you are. If she don't like it, she is just not the woman for you - she's free to look elsewhere. That's the attitude to take.
Really, if she doesn't like you for yourself, there will be nothing but trouble as things develop. You shouldn't have to change, she shouldn't have to change - - if the chemistry isn't right, it just ain't gonna be.
As far as choices, give her one chance to choose ... none of this I can't make my mind up, do such n such to convince me, blah blah, etc. Take me or leave me, ya know? It could be rough on you too if you really like a girl alot - but just take it like a man, don't beg, and she'll be fascinated most likely after that, even if she starts out rejecting you.

I've been married 29 years this June, so Cain and I know a bit about love and accomodating each other in life.