MerGirl's draft Options

[Dantrag]

that sucks...SAT's should probably throw themselves off a cliff. Into a giant pool of acid. Located in another dimension. Guarded by women wielding hepatitis b-infected needles. get the point yet?

Anyways, I will look for your story come the end of summer... (there had better be an update....or twelve.)

[minque]

Sweetie! Don´t be sorry! We love your story but we can wait for you to be ready for updating! Never force yourself then the quality will decrease, writing comes to you just like that....it may take time it may come instantly...


Look at me.....haven´t updated for a long time now..due to a lot of stuff IRL....

So just come here when you feel like it and have fun, don´t feel any pressure...we love you just as you are..... :hearts:

[MerGirl]

No, no update yet.
This is just a tiny snippet of an old rough draft of my really old Emma story. Hope you like it as you wait for the after-summer-update. I didn't grammar check this one because it is really old, and I wasn't sure if it was a good beginning in the first place. But I consider it... a sort of a classic? So, any comments, critques(sp?), etc. are appreciated.

~~~
Emma the Young Necromancer
Chp. 1 Part I


The small Breton girl, Emma, was young, much too young to understand what had taken place that night. She didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation. All she knew was that her parents went to hunt out some vampires and had not come back yet. It was nearly midnight, and she was getting angry, for they had promised to her that they would come back soon. But she wasn’t anxious or scared, for her Dunmer father was very serious about keeping his promises and vows. Her mother even more so. So, Emma waited inside the house as her father ordered her to.

As she waited, she picked up her dolls, Marie and Lila, and played house with them, using her newly made wooden dollhouse. Marie and Lila were having a bit of a dilemma: They both shared the same room, but had different opinions on what colors the curtains and bed-sheets should be. Marie wanted a darker look for the room, but Lila wanted more… lively, feminine colors, such as pinks, yellows and light blues. Of course, this fierce argument soon disintegrated into a fight of the physical kind, and Emma made the dolls slap each other silly, giggling as she did so. And of course, the doll that wanted the happier colors won the intense doll fight between what Emma considered good and evil.

Emma grew tired of the game, and went into the kitchen to search for some snacks. Rubbing her eyes, she stepped into the kitchen. As she walked into the kitchen, her bare feet stepped into something wet and sticky. Picking up her skirts, she glanced down at her feet.

Splotches of red covered the edges of her feet, and a large, dark red puddle surrounded her. The puddle trailed from her feet all the way to the windowsill. Curious, Emma sampled a small amount of the puddle with her pinky. It tasted really salty, but it was familiar... It tasted like when she had cut herself… It tasted like…blood?

In disgust, Emma shook off the red liquid from her finger and ran out of the puddle, shaking and wiping her feet as well. Her heart started beating loudly as she studied the blood. Why so much blood? Did some wounded animal drag itself inside the house? This has happened before, so Emma was not too worried. However, at least two questions stuck into her brain as she climbed a wooden chair to look out the window: Where were her mother and father? And, more importantly, where was the animal now?

Her answer came from behind her as she heard a long thump as well as felt fingers lightly touching her neck. Gasping, she spun around to face whatever was hovering behind her. Her eyes widened as she recognized the figure behind her for what it was.

It was a tall vampire, a very messy vampire from the looks of it. His hair was unkempt and oily, as if he had not washed it in days. His expensive-looking robe was in rags and was darkly stained with blood and dirt and who knows what else. Bloodshot eyes stared contemptibly at her small form, his arms tense and ready.

Emma glared back, her hands motioning before her, preparing to set up a spell. However, the vampire struck her before she could utter the words to cast her spells. Surprisingly, his weak-looking hands hit her with a powerful blow that sent her flying into the wall. Her entire right side felt battered and bruised, her legs felt numb, and she collapsed onto the floor, dazed and almost as limp as a doll.

Breathing heavily, she tried to get up on her elbows, even as the vampire walked casually towards her. Her body felt weak and tired, but she fearlessly lifted her chin up to look the vampire in the eye. She spat at him the only insult she learned from her father, “You, N’wah!”
~~~~

If that sounded cheesy, please forgive me. It's very old (but I still love it) and Emma's only six years old when this stuff happened, so yeah. Again, any comments, etc. are appreciated. :ashamed:

[minque]

AAAAAHH....only one comment.....MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE please.....just gotta know what´s going to happen with Emma.....I mean you just got to have some more written don´t you? So then post it immediately I beg you

*shrugs in lustfillled fear*

[Aki]

Ahh...the suspense! More!

*flail*

[Dantrag]

Good. I like the way you describe the characters, as well as their actions.

(If this is old stuff, your newer writings must be amazing!)

[ShogunSniper]

its a very good start to a story
good luck with it

[Fuzzy Knight]

Great MerGirl...! :goodjob: Keep it up... :lickinglips:

[MerGirl]

[quote=minque]AAAAAHH....only one comment.....MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE please.....just gotta know what´s going to happen with Emma.....I mean you just got to have some more written don´t you? So then post it immediately I beg you

*shrugs in lustfillled fear*[/quote]

Yeah, strange thing is, I can't find all those old rough drafts of this story... This is a character whose story has been re-written in many different ways! For example, I had one rough draft that had her buying slaves in Sadrith Mora in order to use the slaves' corpses for her Necromancy art!

Hmm... I can only find this part of
_______

Emma the Young Necromancer Part II:

The vampire just chuckled, angering the girl even more. She said sharply, "Just wait until my Da get his hands on you! He's a Telvanni, and he'll whip you hard!" She clenched her teeth in nervousness as the vampire hovered over her.

She yelped as the vampire lifted her up with one hand, clutching her neck. Being already sore, her neck muscles were burning with agony due to the weight of her limp body. Grasping at the vampire's grimy hand, Emma tried to break his hold onto her, but to no avail. A small gurgling sound came out of her mouth as the vampire tightened his grip even more.

"Let me go or my Da will kill you!" She gasped, her voice raspy. Rage had filled her heart as well as great fear. She hoped that the vampire would put her down... However, the vampire just laughed sadistically, and Emma whimpered as the vampire started applying pressure to her jaw.

The vampire smiled, his fangs gleaming with blood. "You stupid child... Apparently, hasn't taught you enough to fear and respect us..."

Emma obviously could not answer back, due to the tight grip he had on her throat and jaw.

The vampire inspected her with his crazed eyes, and his eyes widened. Then, he shook her unmercifully, as if he was a spoiled child who was angry at his toy. Pain stabbed through her body like daggers, and her consiousness was slipping away fast. "So, you're the child of that vampire-hunter! Well, he has tortured me for the last time--"

Before the vampire could finish his words, he suddenly release his grip, screaming in rage as well as pain. His robe became engulfed in flames which licked and spread all over his body. The screams were ear-piercing, but Emma's head was much too dizzy to hear them clearly. All she could hear was a muted screech, lots of fire, so much of it, and then, darkness as she fell and slumped onto the bloodied floor.

_______

That's as far as I got. At least in this rough draft. I can't find the others though (for I had written them as far back as when Morrowind was still, er, kind of new). I had not written more, because I was still noob to the Morrowind lore (and still sort of am), especially on vampires, undead, Telvanni House, etc. :paperbag2:

So, is it good so far? The reason that the story seems to be more... well-written than my recent Marigold story is due to the fact that Emma was an older character and had a more simplistic storyline. Plus, she was a more easier character to write about, like Celia.

Again, comments/critiques/suggestions/lore concerns, etc. are appreciated. :ashamed: Also, should I put this story in a seperate thread? Is it good enough to be revived? Should I even continue it?

[Wolfie]

Nice work MerGirl
if you can find any more drafts, post them, but no pressure

[minque]

I like it very much and you should really make a thread called Emma the Necromancer, and put it there..and of course continue it....

It´s really GOOD you know, well written and easy to read...


i´ll give you......5 jonajosas: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob:

[MerGirl]

[quote=minque]I like it very much and you should really make a thread called Emma the Necromancer, and put it there..and of course continue it....[/quote]

I plan to! The only thing is, I have been researching about vampires, and I still don't know if they can be affected by magic, their weaknesses and stuff. (Because I have never been a vampire and I still haven't battled a vampire yet).

So for now, I will post this in a different thread, and PM some people for info. Well, then, I plan to update this story a little later on, because Emma's my fav character besides Lilim (assassin girl). Hopefully, people will like Emma despite her... er, occupation.

[Zelda_Zealot]

Nice fic! No wonder you were telling me I needed more detail...

[Mazuk]

WOW awesome stories. Seems to me that you writing is rather well. Keep up the good work.

[Konji]

Well done....I really need to see one about Celia though.... :crying: :incrediblysad: :drool: :crying2: :crying3:

[MerGirl]

I'm getting motivated to write again after seeing the fanfiction of awesome fanfics, so hopefully, I will update tiny bit by tiny bit. I just got back from volunteer work, so bear with me. :ashamed: Next week, I may be going somewhere, since it's breaktime from volunteerwork. But the week after next week is another volunteer week, so I may not be on too often that week.

Also, I think I'm encountering writer's block at the moment.

Again, please bear with me. For right now, a tiny, tiny tidbit. Any comments, constructive criticisms, etc. are appreciated. This is still a rough draft, so I may edit/change things from time to time.

Oh, and the picture below is supposed to represent Marigold as I think she would look like.
__________
[img]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/DigGarden/FlirtyMarigold_7358.gif[/img]
Marigold story cont'd


Dalos glared at her, mouth open to argue, but changed his mind. Then, he remembered something important, something that was nagging at his mind, he acted.

Swiftly, the young Dunmer hurled some clothes at her face. "Put on some decent clothes, you uncivilized animal!" He ordered gruffly and covered his eyes, but a smile was slowly forming on his face.

Marigold sighed, her squeaky voice muffled by the clothing, which now covered her head. "Such a Dunmer thing to say. You're all a bunch of prudes!" She was still grumpy, but relieved that the baby was safe, lying on the piece of blanket that hung from a large nail on the wall. A small feeling of love swelled inside her whenever she thought of the baby.

At least, whenever her mind was not clouded from drunkenness.

As she dressed up, the teenage Bosmer mother herself noticed something. A loud gasp rose out of her mouth as she fitted the dress onto herself. Colors of red bloomed onto her cheeks. “You broke into my house last night and went through my dressers, didn’t you, you little sneak?!”

The Dunmer gently tickled the baby’s toes as he answered in a neutral voice, “I dropped by your house as I was completing my last few writs.” He shrugged, his movement casual. “Nothing to get all in a huff about. Oh, here.” He tossed a pair of fancy high heels onto the bed.

“And here I thought you were an old prude!” Marigold rolled her eyes as she tried to rearrange her messy hair into two neat pigtails. With one hand, she threw a shoe at Dalos, but missed him by several feet.

The baby gurgled suddenly, and Dalos grinned, his teeth almost pure white against his dark skin. “So, what’s his name?” He asked as he held the baby high above his head.

“Feldor, after his father, since you are so interested,” Marigold snapped as she spread out her arms, reaching upwards on her tippy-toes. “Now I demand you give him back to me!”

The Dunmer raised the baby higher, so that the Bosmer couldn’t reach. “Oh, I don’t think so. Not after what had happened last night. I’ll hold onto him until you are both at home, safe and sound.” He frowned darkly at her dress and muttered. “I never noticed that long slit last night…”

Margold put her hands on her hips, indignant. “Why do you keep criticizing my clothes? And are you questioning my parenting?”

Dalos sighed, exasperated. He ran his fingers through his hair as the baby squirmed. “Listen, I’ll escort you on your way home, and, if you’re a good girl, I’ll give him back.”

“Fine. Then start escorting me right now,” she said, opening the door and gestured for the Dunmer to go first.

As she followed him out the room, she noticed a large Khajiit emerging from a room across from them. Her eyes widened in amazement as well awe as she noticed that the Khajiit was much more muscled and taller than any Khajiit she has ever met. He was tall, lithe, but bulging with powerful muscles, and his fur was covered in different patterns of black/brown spots.

What kind of Khajiit is that? She thought, becoming frightened of the furry behemoth nearly hovering over her. Then, her heart nearly stopped when the Khajiit’s piercing green eyes glanced down at her. Oh, why is it staring at me?

[Wolfie]

Nice update

[gamer10]

:goodjob: :goodjob: <----a couple of jonajosa's for you madam

Nice story, really interesting.

[Fuzzy Knight]

Yay a update...! :hugesmile:

Yet again its quite good MerGirl, the writen is nice as always, detailed.. And it doesn't sound cheesy, your writen is exellent IMO :goodjob:

More please.. :lickinglips:

[MerGirl]

[quote=Fuzzy Knight]Yay a update...! :hugesmile:

Yet again its quite good MerGirl, the writen is nice as always, detailed.. And it doesn't sound cheesy, your writen is exellent IMO :goodjob:

More please.. :lickinglips:[/quote]

Wow, Fuzzy. You really liked it?

If you're having this much of a reaction for a tiny update, I wonder what will be Dantrag's when he comes back...