Oh, well, you click on coerce or admire and a circle will come up. You click somewher in that circle and if you make it far away from the desired effect - you will be insulting them instead of admiring them.
Okay, keep turning the circle and watch the NPC's face ... when they frown or grimace alot, click then. That means that they are displeased and you've insulted them, whether enough to attack? you may have to do it several times. My hubby said that Bribe is probably the fastest to use in this way ... hope that helps.
Yes, I too wish it was just the old MW insulting system ...