The Meaning of Life Options

[minque]

Indeed a most intriguing story, I´m really looking forward to learn more abbout this kitty

[ShraX]

I sat by the bonfire in the center of the camp and watched my kin set out their spears and swords for tomorrow. It would be the second Hunt of the month, when most of them would stand facing Bear's Sledge, an enormous natural rock formation a few minute's walk from their tents, and wait for the sun to take position directly above it. This indicated that the time of the Hunt would take place, and they would disperse in celebration and bloodlust into the surrounding hills and forests for meat, fur, hooves and teeth. With what they would return was capable of providing for the encampment until the next Hunt, always two weeks apart. When the last candle had been silenced, I turned to the burning timber at the base of the fire before me.

"Be not afraid," I said calmly. "What?" I said again. I quickly stood and looked all about, but the moon was shrouded now in thick clouds, and the only light still alive was that from the bonfire. All else was pitch black, and I felt the dense shadows from the cave envelop me once more. "Is it you? From the cave?" I asked in panicked haste. I ceased all movement and the flame of the fire faded in darkness. I could not hear my own words, but I did speak them. As occurred in the cavern, I suspected they would have been carried directly to the ears of the cloaked man, if he was here, and if he even had ears.

"The mist has been lifted," I heard him say, clear as ever. My body felt free again but I did not move. The feeling of snow was replaced with ice under my feet, and upon looking down to this change, I noticed immediately that my clothes were missing. He appeared from within the blackness and at once, I found myself in the cave, standing just where I had the time before. Instinctively, I covered myself with my hands and bent to short crouch. "Indeed, yet you still have much to learn," he said in that low, emotionless tone. "It is you," I confirmed, and he nodded. "I see more behind your eyes than when last we met. Your Elder has revealed my identity."

"Not entirely," I replied, "but.. I'm sorry, where is my armor?" He stood there, silent in all ways but when he spoke, his worn hood concealing all expression. "The Anarchal Order," he said, the words pouring from under his cowl without breath, "was established so long ago in time that the most ancient of texts, the Elder Scrolls, have no record of its name. The Daedra Princes, the Nine Divines, the All-Father.. children to the Order. We have been while these entities came into creation. We watched as they were born, and we shall as they die. We have seen Tamriel's coming into existence and it will fall before our eyes. Time and space are trivial to us. Here," and I felt my arm raise to his chest. I automatically tugged away, but it did not move. It pulled me closer to him and my hand passed through his cloak and out the other side. I gasped and looked to his hidden face, utterly amazed, but not as much as I could have potentially been if I'd not met him earlier and knew at least some of his strange powers.

Control returned to me and I took my arm out from him again, feeling no change in temperature in the process. I looked down at it as if I expected something new to have been placed there, and in fact, there was. I followed a solid black sleeve from my wrist to my shoulder, and noticed I had been dressed in a similar cloak as the man's. "What is this," I asked, overcome with confusion, and something told me to check my head for a hood, but there was nothing. "Do not assume I attempt to persuade you into joining us," he implored. "I am only doing what must be done. Allow me to explain further than in our last conversation.

"Those accepted into The Anarchal Order are proven to possess a clear mind and a pure soul. As the wild boar of your land feels no contempt for its murderer, we dismiss revenge. As the lion's only purpose for killing is to survive, we focus our energies into that which is necessary to perform. As I've stated, our earlier confrontation was the meaning for life. All events which have occurred thus far, from the creation of Nirn to the Altmer jumping over a puddle, have led you to me, and I to you. You, Ri'jzirr, are to join the Order and return balance to all that is." He paused and I took the opportunity to fish out a question from the sea of bewilderment in my mind. "How would my joining the Order bring about all-encompassing balance," I asked.

"The Order," he answered, "is the foundation for all things. As the arch cannot support weight if it is without its center stone, existence may not be without us. You are our center stone, Ri'jzirr, and my enemy seeks to shatter you."

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[mplantinga]

The power and intrigue surrounding the anarchal order continue to fascinate and astound me, just as they do Ri'jzirr. I can only imagine his confusion at being told he is the center stone of a supernatural order about which he knows nearly nothing.

ShraX, I mean no disrespect, but each new installment only prolongs our sense of confusion and wonder. You give us new information, but then add new mysteries for us to ponder. I suppose this is intentional, since you have clearly demonstrated your command over your stories. I guess you just want to keep us in suspense. If so, it is working very, very well. Keep up the great work.

[The Metal Mallet]

Wonderful update ShraX. I am also enjoying the vast amount of suspense layered within each update. I'm looking forward to seeing what else is revealed about this Order.

[ShraX]

"I believe I'm beyond shock at this point," I declared. "However, I must take things one at a time. I have questions for you."

"There is truth in your Elder's words," he replied. "You are truly wise. Indeed, let us put to rest your confusion. Our location is unknown to her, we are safe to discuss."

At last having the chance to ask the man what was going on, my mind drew a blank. I did have many questions for him, but most of them seemed unimportant. The heaviest weight on my mind now was not even the idea that some ancient archer sought my life, but that my existence was the keystone to the fabric of all things, both living and inanimate. How could this possibly be? That was my first question.

"You must understand that life is not everything. Countless beings live on both this world and others, numbers beyond comprehension throughout the stars. Tell me - do you believe in a supreme being? A God?"

I was relaxed in his presence. I understood that he wanted to protect me, and with obviously good reason. He was a guardian of existence, a member of this Anarchal Order which, I assumed, was created to safeguard reality. Living in a Nord encampment my entire life, never straying from Cyrodiil's borders, I could not possibly fathom the things this man has seen. Surely he knew if there was in fact a God, or even Gods that influenced the world around me, but I gave my opinion.

"I do not," I answered. I honestly did not. The Nords' All-Father was but a character in fairy tales told to children and young men and women as the basis for proving themselves amongst their respective clans and families. Perhaps it was a stronger figure amongst the Elders in Skyrim, but to me, being an adopted Khajiit, I held no faith towards any divine deity in particular.

"There is one," he said. "It has no gender and resides not in one, confined form. It is your cloak, your blood, your bones, this mountain, the purple sky, and your tent's shadow when the sun is high. It has neither name nor language, eyes, ears or hands. We of the Order refer to it as Balance, but all creatures know it as something of their own. It controls all, but not without our aid.

"The Anarchal Order was formed to play the part of the scale; Balance is the force set upon either side, and we must ensure that force is of equal strength. If Balance is disturbed, the scale will tilt, the Order will fall, and existence will fail. You, Ri'jzirr, are the bar. You hold the chains and provide Balance with something upon which to set its force. Without you, there is nothing."

My thoughts racing, I asked, "But I am twenty years old! There was life before my birth!"

"Was there?"

I felt the blood drain from my face. I stepped back and tried my hardest to stop the cloak from trembling from my shaking legs. "This is disturbing news," he said. I fell back to the floor and put one hand to my forehead. "My parents?" I asked. The man sat on the throne behind him and put his limp sleeves on its arms, the darkness under his cowl never faltering despite the light of the cave. "You've never had parents. Upon the start of your life, We of the Order supplied you with a small basket, customary to the Nords of your camp, so they would recognize you as an orphan and take you in as their own."

"How did you do this if I began existence?!" I shouted, strangely enraged at my unbelievable origin. I suppose I knew of no other way to respond.

"The Order does not exist," he replied. "It was established elsewhere."

"Why did you not recruit me as a member then and there?"

"It was imperative for you to have experienced life as you have; as a Khajiit in Tamriel for twenty Nirn years, to prepare you for your induction into the Order now. What you've done during that time may seem trivial, but only through such exposure could you have been properly trained to become a member."

I stared down to the seemingly bottomless pit below us, not knowing what to ask next. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. "Is this fate?"

"No," the man confirmed in a louder voice than he had projected all along, and I jumped at the surprise of a change in his volume. "This is the will of all things to continue their presence in existence. You have no more questions. Let me help you to allow all that is to persist. We leave for the Order's residence. Brace yourself."

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This post has been edited by ShraX: Sep 18 2006, 04:32 PM

[The Metal Mallet]

Wow, you just set off an atom bomb of a revelation there. Our Khajiit friend was created, not concieved by birth. Some things have been answered but now there's this question: What is next?

[jack cloudy]

Wow, this is deep. Very deep. What else will happen?

[mplantinga]

Finally, some answers. Yet, somehow, I feel like I don't understand much more than I did before. I'm really looking forward to hearing about the Order's residence.

[ShraX]

I just want to thank those who actually find this chaotic story readable for continuing to read it. Hopefully it's starting to come together..

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"What?!" I broke from my stupor of disbelief at the notion of leaving for the Order's 'residence',
as he called it. "I can't just leave! What of my family?!" But before I noticed, the cave turned to solid grey. Without thinking, I backed away with furious nervousness, and would have pushed myself off the steep cliff if it had still been there. My head shot back behind me but there was nothing. My hands fell to what felt like glass, but there was no light; only grey. I looked back to the man in overwhelming wonder for an answer. He wasn't exceptional at giving answers, but only when they were asked of him. It was logical, but he was obviously incapable of empathy. Of course, none of this was going through my head at that particular moment.

"Enough wonder. You will experience things far stranger to you than this."

I shrunk into my cloak and tried to allow my new surroundings to catch up with me. I stood cautiously and moved closer to the man, unbalanced and dizzy; there was no floor, walls or ceiling, but only an infinite expanse of nothingness. Nothing existed here.

"Why was it you asked for me to brace myself?" I asked.

He raised his limbless sleeve and pointed with it behind me, and I turned. What I saw was myself, only transparent and mimicking my every move. The second image was blurred and its edges shook violently. I only saw my back since it was, in fact, behind me, and it moved as I did. I raised one arm and it did the same, and I laughed out a "Heh!" I suppose I'd already reached my capacity for oddity and the surplus was attempting to escape through short chuckles. Suddenly, the image ripped apart from its middle and tore in some ten pieces, each slit and sliding in opposite directions. Each segment then shattered without sound and slowly faded out of sight.

"You will see now."

"How exactly am I supposed to brace myself when there's nothi--"

I was interrupted by a feeling unlike any other in my head. I've had headaches before, but this was not painful, only as if my brain had turned to feathers and they were tickling my skull from the inside. I threw both hands up to my face and stumbled about groaning, but to no avail.. as if doing such a thing would have helped matters. I looked again to the man but still he stood in silence, and it was beginning to annoy me.

"What is going on?!" My words drifted into space, but I heard them as if they'd been spoken in the cave. He did not answer at once, but I soon discovered why; our surroundings would do that for him. The grey shifted into bright white, and it burnt my eyes with its brilliance. I closed them hard but even then the light was too much, and I dropped to my knees. I only knew I had done this because of my position; there was no floor onto which I fell.

"Cease this torture!!" I begged, but he said nothing. "Answer me!!" Silence. I could not open my eyes and the searing white gave me no distinction between whether or not my eyes were shut. It changed again, and just when the pain was most intense, to pitch darkness. My head felt solid once more and the pain promptly diminished, and I stood again to the man with clear sight. Although all was black around me, the man stood out. I looked down and was able to see my cloak, but my hands and feet had been consumed by the dark. I then heard someone speaking. It sounded much like the man but it echoed in my ears and in a language most foreign. I looked about to try and find the source, but there was only blackness.

"Your Elder is wise," he spoke softly. "Membership of the Order will bring about great wisdom, indeed."

It struck me then: my dream. All was darkness but for the ring of light at my feet - wisdom. As if on cue, a circle of white surrounded me and I looked up to the man for the last time.

"And my hood?" I asked expectingly, and it closed over my eyes.

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[mplantinga]

Well, I'm not sure that it is coming together, but it is certainly coming along. More things continue to happen, and continue to inform us about what is going on, yet none of them really explain. Nonetheless, I'm completely enthralled with the story. Keep up the great work.

[The Metal Mallet]

I think it's making it's way closer to coming together; it's certainly interesting to read about. I'm personally looking forward to this "archer" showing up again.

[ShraX]

I think everything's been laid out pretty well.. you may need to check what's happened previously to understand what's going on now. I admit it's somewhat confusing, but it does make sense. A side-goal of mine was to try and keep the reader as much in the unknown as Ri'jzirr, but hopefully no one's in complete confusion.

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My dream had been fully realized, and in this yet-unexplained realm of white and black. I looked down and saw the floor reflecting my image back into my eyes; my hands and feet were now invisible, and my face was sealed in darkness under the cowl. I looked to the man and noticed we, aside from posture, looked to be in perfect congruence with one another.

"You know of physical transportation," he said. "Now you know that of the mind." Apparently he had taken me elsewhere, to this place of non-existence, through thought instead of with our legs. It seemed a simple concept to understand, now, anyway. I felt there was not much else to ask him other than, "Where are we," and so I did.

"We have reached the Order's residence," he explained. "Welcome." Welcome to what? All was black. There were no signs of civilization anywhere in sight. There was no smell, wind or sound. Even the silence could not be heard. Somehow, though, I began thinking differently. "There is nothing here," I concluded. He nodded, surprisingly, and where I'd normally put my hands to my hips, they hung at my sides. I didn't even realize they were there at all. "There is more here than meets the eye." He nodded again.

The way I thought of it was, this place was the opposite of where I'd lived all my life. There was no cold, no rain, no warming fire or creaking tent posts, no food or air, and no sleep. We were where nothing was, nothing but we. It contradicted all I'd ever known, but there I stood with the man in pure, true nothingness. I required no explanation; it became obvious, after listening to all he'd said before, that the Order's residence did not exist. It was here though, where 'here' was nowhere.

"Are there others?" I asked, not expressing any particular anxiousness in my voice. "There are," he replied, "but first you must understand the rules of this place.

"It is a most simple thing to become lost here," he continued. "Here, there is no space, no time. If you were to stray from me, you could potentially reach a point beyond the hope of becoming found once more. Take six steps to your left."

Immediately the arrows shot back into my memory and I sped left, counting each step and watching the man at all times. I turned behind me but saw only black, then upwards to find her. I saw the Archer at last, my fated enemy of whom I knew nothing. I held my place and trusted my guardian's judgement, but grew nervous knowing she was watching me. She wore a similar cloak and hood, only hers were much larger, too wide to fit her appropriately. She was somewhat far above me but I noticed another difference between her and we of the Order - she bore a bright orange symbol of an uneven circle with three lines crossing through it, intersecting in the center on her chest. She had apparently joined with another cult but retained the abilities and knowledge bestowed upon her by the Anarchal Order. After all, she appeared to understand the laws of non-existence.

For the first time I saw the man move in greater complexity than sitting and standing to and from his icy throne in the mountain. With impossible quickness he crouched and lunged at the Archer who remained in her gravity-defying spot above us both. I expected one of them to exchange words before a battle commenced, but obviously they had no more to share. Strangely, I had no need to lift my hood to watch him, even as it covered my eyes.

Within a split second he reached her, and from the darkness at her sides, two others of the Order bolted towards her, and all three stopped suddenly, reaching one arm toward her head. Knowing of the man's immense power already, I deemed this, obviously an expression of hostility, to exhibit a much larger force than absorbing three poisoned arrows. However, I held my place and relied on his instructions, and helplessly watched on. The Archer shook vigorously with discontent and brought one hand to her hood, the other grasping her long bow and waving it at her three assailants. She began spinning rapidly and let out a shriek of pain until her cloak concealed her within the darkness all around us, and she vanished as quickly as she came.

The three who had somehow banished her returned to me and I bowed in thanks. "We do not allow corruption within our residence," said the man, and I nodded as would a child who'd just been thrown out of the way of a speeding carriage on the road by a passing knight. I looked back to where I stood before her appearance and gasped at the multitude of arrows sticking out from the transparent floor. I hadn't even heard them shot, but I quickly reminded myself of where I was. "What did you do to her?"

"As I've said, she has refused death. We merely channeled our energies into her mind, telling her why death is necessary."

"So all you did was explain to her that she must die?"

"Yes. We brought this truth to the very core of her being, but she does not want to believe. She has refused our counsel for ages."

'Perhaps,' I thought, 'I would be somewhat more convincing.'

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[mplantinga]

I would not say that I am in complete confusion, but I am easily confused. After this last installment, I do feel like my confusion is clearing up, and things that were previously confusing are starting to make sense. I don't doubt that you have carefully planned the entire story, and I trust that it shall unfold brilliantly just as you have planned. I've actually enjoyed your "side-goal" of limiting our knowledge to what Ri'jzirr understands; it enhances the personal feeling of the story and helps me to connect with the character.

[The Metal Mallet]

So we learn some backlog somewhat on this archer character. Rather unique for a villian, or is she.....?

With the twists and turns in this fic, I don't it's safe for me to predict anything Which is a good thing, because I like to be guessing the whole time I read something like this.

[ShraX]

"This is what we believe," said the man in response, once again, to my thoughts.

"But why? Is it because of my being your.. 'center stone'?"

"Yes. Being the embodiment of the commencement of life brings with it unimaginable qualities. We of the Order are charged with your awakening to these qualities."

I nodded but my mind exploded with excitement and anxiety. "So you will train me," I concluded unsurely. The man's cowl lowered in affirmation and he turned walking in the opposite direction. The other two of the Order stood silently, and I bowed once more before passing them by to follow him.

"As you may have expected, there is much you must learn. Living twenty years in Tamriel was indeed imperitive training for the trials that lay before you, but not because of what you've accomplished." He paused and stopped, and I with him. His hood lifted and I looked upward. "Rather, because you must now teach yourself to defy the laws you've been forced to uphold." I glanced back to him in very mild surprise, but my attention was stolen by a brilliant flash of color sparking and smoking in a spiral above us. I cannot describe this color as I had never seen it before.. it was magnificent. No combination of red, blue and yellow could ever concoct such as that, and my jaw literally dropped to the end of its hinges at the sight. "This color is only visible on one world where its suns' light shines through its atmosphere at the precise points to reflect it onto the planets' surface." I repeated the word, "atmosphere" because I'd never heard it and knew not what it meant. My eyes were pinned to the swirling torrent of color before me.

"May it serve as a symbol in reference to what you are to become. You will form yourself anew and exhibit qualities never-before seen in Tamriel. You are as unique as this color - one of your kind and so impossibly complex that your enemies will disbelieve your abilities. Gravity will shatter in your wake. Space and Time will crumble at your feet. Let us begin."

That wild, fiery conjuration was all I could see for a long while; my mind's eye had been blinded with its radicality. I truly shared the Order's cause and concern of dealing with the Archer to protect existence, and I felt that foreign-colored, flaming chaos represented what I would soon aspire to be - a being who possessed the power to safeguard all that was, is, and ever will be from harm. It had burnt out by now, and the man and I were alone once more.

"Before we commence," he told me, "a warning." He held out one sleeve and from within it extended an arrow. It was black but clearly visible in the darkness surrounding us, and its head and tail were the same pure white, so expertly fashioned that no flaw knew its point. "Feel the edge," he said, and without much hesitation, I did. It hurt not and my skin kept together, but as I ran my finger along the side of the razor-like tip, I was introduced into a new form of pain; a thousand voices whispered soft and loud, unintelligable and angry things, crushing my thoughts and breaking my concentration. I could not move, and all I sensed were those furious messages being sent to what felt like the center of my consciousness. Although I was unable to make sense of what one particular voice was saying, they formed a pattern and I heard them all at once: 'Balance Be Shaken'. It grew louder and I did not realize my body had failed, and I toppled over my weakened legs. The man pulled the arrow back into his cloak and the voices tore away with it, and my hand fell free.

"Let us begin."

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[mplantinga]

Thanks for another intriguing update. I was particularly intrigued by the arrow at the end of the post. It almost seems like a physical manifestation of a mental attack, as if the archer fires arrows not to harm the body but to overload and destroy the mind. Or perhaps I'm just reading too much into it. I'll look forward to finding out.

[The Metal Mallet]

More new things to be discovered with this update. I look forward to seeing the method on how our Kahjiit will be trained.

[ShraX]

I apologize for the grueling pace at which this story seems to be going, but school has me on a tight leash nowadays

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He and I "trained" for some time. I am hesitant to use the word "trained" because, as with all non-existence, I was utterly oblivious as to how things actually worked there, and the "training" did not help much with that, but it is the most accurate word I can use. Normally, in Tamriel, each of my senses were sharply honed to my environment, which was usually the Jeralls. Here, I was nothing; equivalent to the blackness in which we perpetuously hung without place or reason.

"Are we here?" I asked the man at one point. My thoughts grew more profound and insightful, and so my questions mimicked the change.

"No," he replied in his ever-level tone, "we are our consciousnesses manifest, for such things exist not in the physical world, but only in the mind." I was satisfied with that.

He gave me instructions and I attempted to follow them. If he had seen enough of one exercise, he would call to me and I would be given something new. I was told to display my acrobatic abilities and those of combat. I was even allowed use of an axe and shield, my arms of highest proficiency. After each exhibition of my skills, the man and some others who watched nodded in synchrony, and he told me, always in the same words, "Acknowledged. Here is what you must do to defeat her," and he would take my weapon and move with it in such ways that fused harmony into both hostility and grace, layered in movements no solid body could possibly make. I knew little of him, and most hidden of all was his self under the cloak and cowl, and so my assumption that a body must have been holding them both up was then assuredly discarded. I was unable to copy his style, and after picking myself up each time, I plead, "Why do you ask me to move in such impossible ways which bones and skin prohibit?"

"The tempest," he replied. "The color. The unique color. Think on it. It was shown to you for a reason." I needed not close my eyes in that darkness but only imagine the chaotic orb of color from before. The crest of my difference from existence, the symbol of my strife to become something new, one who would ward off the Archer and protect life and being.

"I am deeply confused," I sighed hopelessly. "My dream, this Archer.. why did I see myself shatter in the white place? What does it all mean?" I saw the color in my mind, the twisting, pulsing sphere. I tried turning my thoughts but it remained fixed upon the fuming anarchy, and I wanted answers. It suddenly became excrutiatingly hot under my cloak, as if the blaze from my mind was real.

"And answers you shall have. Focus on it, Ri'jzirr. Look here," Before us both appeared a rectangular window through which our encounter within the mountain had taken place through my eyes. I heard our conversation and watched the Archer's arrows strike the man, and they were waved off carelessly into the black pit below. But something had changed - the new color had overlapped the center of the screen. It floated there before my sight, glaring and bright. "What does this mean?!" I asked.

"Focus, Ri'jzirr. Keep the color in your mind. Bones and skin will hold you back no further."

And then it came to me. The orb of color meant nothing, it was merely a symbol. It could have been anything; a goat, a chair or a box of chimps. It didn't have to make any sense, but it was the meaning that struck me then, watching it block my vision in the replay of our encounter. Afterwards, I felt deathly ill, sweltering and weak. The Elder woke me and told me I was to become one of the Order, deciphering my dream. The man knew the Elder. Impossible.

"ENOUGH!" I shouted with the force of the mightiest thunderclap and I opened my eyes. The window had closed and I turned to the man, the orb of color taking its place in the center of my enlightened gaze. I could not possibly have been able to reach such a volume normally, but I did not think on such trivial matters. I felt as if I'd risen to such a height, transcended in all ways beyond previous comprehension when I felt comprehension meant something. I could not explain it nor did I care to; I had become reborn. The ring of light appeared once more at my feet. Wisdom. I was new.

The hidden eyes of the Order turned to me at once and the man took one step backwards. "Fear?" I questioned knowingly. I positioned the orb afront his head and saw all clear as flawless crystal.

"No longer is it a surprise why I felt the need to seek your counsel during my sickness.. tell me, which of us has truly been the Elder all these years?"

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[The Metal Mallet]

Very interesting method of training, I was hoping it would go some like what you did more mental than physical.

It'll be interesting to see what happens next.

[ShraX]

That orb, my symbol of difference, which appeared from nothing and for no discernable reason, held its place in the center of my vision and overlapping the man's cloaked head. It blocked my sight but I could see clearer than ever, magnifying what it hid in ways sight denied.

"Ri'jzirr, you have become all I had hoped you would."

The man lifted his sleeves and pulled back the cowl masking his face with invisible hands. My camps' Elder stood before me now, he and the man of the Order the same. My ears deafened, nose caved, skin died, and tongue flattened to rigid teeth. My senses left me and never returned, and my eyes blackened to all but the spherical chaos. I sank into my cloak's shadows and was Ri'jzirr no more. I was no more; Naught but the orb remained. It took me a moment to realize I was still capable of speech; reborn, I was as an infant, learning how to talk once more.

I forced the words, "I see the color and nothing more." I heard them but knew my ears were no longer there. I did not feel a mouth close nor a tongue manipulate the sound from my throat, and the impulse to blink had disappeared. All manner of mortal instinct had been displaced by the orb, as a glass bauble being dropped into a cask of water. The concept of language never entered my mind, but merely the need to express myself in a way which I knew the Elder would comprehend.

"You need not see, Ri'zjirr," replied the Elder in his voice. "Truly, you have been my Elder these past twenty years. You simply needed to be shown the light," and he held out his hand, displaying the orb. I knew this without watching, perfectly natural in understanding. "Behold," he exclaimed, "your.. new eye. Your Mind's Eye, from which all wisdom comes, to which all knowledge goes. It is your essence, your being without being, your life force without life. It is your paradox, that which is and is not; it is you now, Ri'jzirr. Its color a trespasser in existence, just as you are. Embrace it.. in senses you now reside."

It is impossible for anyone to properly explain just what I felt through the orb, but the past events from which my story began prodded my mind ever-obnoxiously, desperate to be unfolded and put into order. In an instant I collected them and saw their meaning as a completed puzzle:

It was a plan so perfect in its engineering and design, each molecule of every form of tangible matter in all of existence played an invaluable role in my coming into enlightenment there with the Elder in non-existence, the residence of The Anarchal Order. The supposed reason I was chosen to enter the cave in which the "ravenous creature" inhabited was due to the consideration of my past deeds. Throughout my life as a young warrior, I saved traveling merchants from bandits, fended off great beasts from defenseless children and the like. I saw then, through the impossible clarity of my Mind's Eye, each individual act of heroism was staged, and I emerged victorious time and time again for the sole purpose of convincing the camp's council that I was the most reasonable choice to send into the cavern - nothing more. My life's achievements were a path paved in time leading to the cloaked man that day.

The dream warned my steps but I met with the man on his icy throne. It was there so he may sit.. but why sit when you are a non-existent entity without the need to conserve physical energy? A question I asked myself then, and the answer came instantly - to pose the man as a higher form than my own, someone to respect and trust, to take orders from. Had he been a strange man in a cave, I would have been feared not to listen to his instructions and await him at the camp.

Of course, he did return, transporting me to non-existence. First, all went to grey, and I saw myself behind me shatter to pieces and fall. This was what I used to be, destroyed and making way for what I had become. Then blinding white, infinite wisdom, and finally blackest darkness, non-existence. All were metaphors and I lived them.. signs given to me, puzzle pieces and mysteries one after the other, until they at least fell into place before me, wrapped and burnt through clear by my Mind's Eye. Foreign and mesmerizing at first sight, its color was all I had never known, knowledge now available upon a whim as my new self.

With the past in order, I had decided then that it was a proper time to confront the Archer.. to see what her arrows did to me now.

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