The Writers Guild: Order of the Schola, Welcome to the Temple of Lore Options

[Zalphon]

May I join?

[treydog]

Short answer- "Yes, of course."

Longer answer- see the first post in this thread. The idea is that the other thread Temple of Lore is used to post the work, and this thread is used to respond. That way, comments and creativity are kept separate.

It can be useful for fragments of stories you are thinking of writing, poems, stories that are complete within a single post or a few posts, even stories that are not necessarily TES or fan-fiction- or fiction at all.

[Acadian]

I just read Destri's first part of his short story of murder in the Imperial City. How wonderful! It was just like walking around in the game, Oblivion, and just as much fun!

I would leave a more detailed comment, which the story richly deserves, but. . .

. . . I must say, I rather dislike this format of posting unrelated stories all clumped together on one thread, then hopping over to, and commenting on, an entirely different thread. In my opinion it discourages comments, especially detailed ones. I realize it is designed for one post entries and I suppose that minimizes the problem somewhat. I would submit for any story longer than one post, the break in continuity would be quite disruptive. Just my two septims.

[SubRosa]

Is it just me who looks at the other topic and thinks "The Temple of Love"?

I am of the same mind with Acadian on the mechanics of posting a story in one topic and comments in another. It would seem to me that just making one topic for a story and all its comments - even if it is just a single piece of 500 words - would be much more accessible.

That said, this is a comment on Destri's first part:

Excellent first paragraph. I love how you showed us that Quintilius is not only a Watch Captain, but a brand-spanking new one at that. All without telling any of it to us! New writers, take note, this is how to do it!

Ridiculous, he thought, a murder in a mausoleum!
Indeed, one would think it would be too late to murder the denizen of such a place...

Blood pooled in copious amounts around each
Copious amounts? enough for a copious coinpurse perhaps?

the guard looked as nervous as a rat sneaking around in Goblin Jim’s Cave
A wonderful setting-friendly phrase!

Perhaps this one will prove a better exercise of my intellect.
Quintilius seems like a bright one. But not bright enough to avoid being a complete boatmaster. Apparently while he was sharpening his intellect he forgot to sharpen his personality. That is not a criticism on your writing. My impression is that you are channeling Sherlock Holmes in your writing of Quintilius. Which is to say, he is meant to be an boatmaster. A good example that not all protagonists have to be likeable, for just as in real life, many people are not.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Nov 13 2010, 12:59 AM

[saqin]

I want to join in, just finished a very short story and I think that could be a good debute within the order.

[mALX]

I don't like going to a seperate page to comment, can't quote things running back and forth! Oh Destri - I love this already !!! Two quests in one, the personality you have bestowed on Quintilius - Sage Rosa already got my fave line :

"the guard looked as nervous as a rat sneaking around in Goblin Jim’s Cave"


More More !!!!



@ Saqin - The minute I heard the name of the country, somewhere in the back of my mind I heard..."Uh oh!" ROFL !!! Great Write!!



*

This post has been edited by mALX: Nov 13 2010, 06:39 PM

[SubRosa]

I just finished Saqin's piece. I loved the dark, desperate tone it has, with the protagonist fleeing an uncertain doom only to meet an even more certain one! My only nit is that it feels a little awkward calling him "the man" for the entire piece. Giving him a name would humanize him more, and I think make the ending have more impact.

[Destri Melarg]

I just finished saqin's piece as well. You really do have a thing about naming characters, 'Rosa. I didn't even notice that he was unnamed until you brought it up.

I love the name Rigor Mortis. It evokes such a sense of despair to the whole atmosphere of the story. Well done.

[treydog]

Destri's Clean-Up Detail:

A murder, Quintilius thought to himself, excellent!

Wonderful irony there.

Your usual deft descriptions are used to great advantage throughout the story. And we learn a great deal about the new captain based on his dialogue and internal monologues. The inconsistencies and oddities of the game world also come in for some attention- torches inside a mausoleum- clothing in random crates… And “mausoleum” itself is a bit of a misfit- after all, it comes from the real world tomb of Mausalos at Halicarnassus…

“

Two Nords barged into the Trentius Family Mausoleum on some Arkay-forsaken errand and decided to stop and produce a book because there happened to be ample reading light? However, that is beside the point. My question wasn’t ‘who is the owner of this book,’ it was ‘who was this book left for?’”

Oh the contempt just drips from those words!

Just love your supercilious Captain Quintilius, as he follows the trail of some unknown murderer through the City.

Saqin's Story:

But he had slept many miles away from the roads, and no one with good intentions travelled the cursed forest at night.

There is a wealth of information in that sentence.

You have woven a wonderfully dark and eerie picture here. I look forward to seeing more.

[mALX]

Great follow-up chapter Saqin!