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Olen
post Oct 11 2009, 09:26 PM
Post #1


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Some of you probably remember my last piece, Yesterday's Shadow and that it had a rather unsatisfying ending. I spent the summer rectifying this and now have a sizeable sequel/ completion to it which is itself now finished. It would probably be better to read Yesterday's Shadow before this as it would make more sense, however you should get by without it. If anyone wants I'll put a synopsis here, though Yesterday's Shadow isn't very long so you could just read it here (enough plugs yet?) tongue.gif

Anyway without further ado:



Burning Today


Prologue

Dervas wore boots while he worked. Shoes didn't last long in the decaying mixture of blood, vomit, drink and drugs which floored The Black Guar. The dark man had finally passed out and for the first time Dervas dared look at him. A worn man with a broken soul. Who are you? The Black Guar didn't get passing trade – the mixture of pushers, heavies and racketeers who made up most of his patronage didn't appreciate strangers. In the first hour the man, who now lay face down on the table, had knocked two out cold and broken another's arm. They left him alone after that and he them. Dervas wiped the remains of a line of sugar off the bar and nodded to the bouncer who went to move the man to his room.

Someone knocked at the door. Dervas ignored it. They knocked again, for longer this time. He cursed and went to tell whoever it was where to go. It was late an he didn't need any more trade. He pushed open the door, a curse dancing on his tongue. A sack crashed to the ground, gold clinked within. A Breton in black clothes stood in the doorway.

“What's his tab?” There was no need to ask whose.

“Sixty.”

The Breton showed no surprise, and counted out the gold. “Listen,” his tone offered pain if Dervas didn't, “You keep giving that guy drinks, drugs, whores, whatever he asks for okay? For him happy hour doesn't end, tabs never have to be paid. Push as much as you can into him. Don't worry - I'll be round a couple of nights a week to pay you. That sack,” he kicked disdainfully at the one he'd just dropped, “Contains a thousand drakes, payment enough I'd say. If he asks don't tell him, just give him more drink. Understand?”

Dervas nodded, his mouth was dry.

The man disappeared into the night.

Dervas walked back into the bar. He looked towards the dark man's room. Who are you? he thought again, And what have I gotten into?


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Look behind you and see an ever decreasing number of ghosts. Currently about 15.
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Posts in this topic
Olen   Burning Today   Oct 11 2009, 09:26 PM
mALX   You ROCKED the dialogue in this chapter! WHEW...   Apr 22 2010, 05:01 PM
SubRosa   Very strong descriptions, and vivid metaphors. Thi...   Apr 22 2010, 08:05 PM
Olen   Aaaaargh... what is with those words? I did a sea...   Apr 22 2010, 09:23 PM
Winter Wolf   I am really enjoying this story. The similarities ...   Apr 24 2010, 01:55 AM
Olen   Cheers WW I shall put it on the list. As for word...   Apr 26 2010, 12:17 PM
mALX   I love it all, but the part where they are figurin...   Apr 26 2010, 01:50 PM
haute ecole rider   When it comes to covert ops, I love reading about ...   Apr 26 2010, 04:57 PM
SubRosa   Very exciting. You really have me looking forward ...   Apr 27 2010, 12:20 AM
Remko   Chapter 32 broke my heart..... awesome!!...   Apr 29 2010, 05:39 PM
Olen   mALX - thanks for the comment, I try to put a few ...   May 1 2010, 04:44 PM
haute ecole rider   Another good installment! Of course, it's...   May 1 2010, 07:36 PM
SubRosa   I had to laugh at this! Two bosmer sat alone i...   May 1 2010, 10:37 PM
mALX   This is great, especially his inner dialogue at th...   May 2 2010, 02:37 AM
Olen   Cheers for the comments. The place names are a mi...   May 3 2010, 03:32 PM
mALX   There were a lot of lines I would quote here, but ...   May 3 2010, 03:41 PM
haute ecole rider   Beautiful description of grim Tear (no, I don...   May 3 2010, 04:27 PM
Remko   I truly love this story; it's got it all! ...   May 3 2010, 04:38 PM
SubRosa   Very strong stuff. Vivid descriptions of the squal...   May 3 2010, 04:48 PM
Olen   Cheers for the replies. I'm glad you liked th...   May 6 2010, 02:25 PM
mALX   I don't know how you were able to top your pre...   May 6 2010, 02:43 PM
Remko   Wow.... the description of the horrible situation ...   May 6 2010, 03:54 PM
haute ecole rider   Wow. :blink: I thought you topped yourself with ...   May 6 2010, 05:10 PM
SubRosa   Impressive, most impressive. You created a scene o...   May 6 2010, 06:09 PM
canis216   This is fantastic, gruesome, glorious work. Keep ...   May 7 2010, 05:49 AM
Olen   :blink: That's some heavy praise there... I...   May 8 2010, 11:09 PM
SubRosa   Wow! That scroll sure worked! Let Tear Bur...   May 8 2010, 11:48 PM
mALX   Your description of the scrolls effects was amazin...   May 9 2010, 01:31 AM
haute ecole rider   Amazing. The violence triggered by the scroll is ...   May 9 2010, 04:58 AM
Remko   Awesome!! You should be writing horror :l...   May 10 2010, 11:19 AM
Olen   The concept of illusion spells always fascinated m...   May 11 2010, 05:15 PM
mALX   Bleah, there goes my breakfast for sure! Rive...   May 11 2010, 05:53 PM
haute ecole rider   Yay! Firen found Varnan! :D But he left ...   May 11 2010, 07:07 PM
Destri Melarg   O.K., I have finally caught back up. Here are my ...   May 11 2010, 09:42 PM
SubRosa   Whew! Very fast-paced and action-packed. The f...   May 11 2010, 11:41 PM
Remko   I loved it. All the nits have been picked so I wil...   May 12 2010, 10:30 AM
Olen   Cheers to all for the comments, I'm glad it...   May 14 2010, 06:47 PM
SubRosa   Very cool and creepy how you portrayed Varnan...   May 14 2010, 11:14 PM
Destri Melarg   Another quote fest! This time I won’t even tr...   May 15 2010, 12:47 AM
haute ecole rider   There really is nothing I can say that SubRosa and...   May 15 2010, 02:36 AM
mALX   What Destri and Hauty both said. Your imagery shi...   May 15 2010, 02:58 AM
Remko   what hautee said goes for me too; loved it. Conseq...   May 15 2010, 04:30 PM
minque   OK, Olen, so now you naturally think I'm NOT r...   May 15 2010, 10:31 PM
Olen   Thanks for the comments. SubRosa - I think we mig...   May 18 2010, 07:06 PM
haute ecole rider   Another well-written chapter. I like Firen more an...   May 18 2010, 08:51 PM
mALX   I'm with Hauty on this one. I understand the ...   May 19 2010, 04:46 AM
SubRosa   The Dres soldier put notches on his sword to recor...   May 19 2010, 05:27 PM
Destri Melarg   A bittersweet ending to the battle of Tear. Like ...   May 21 2010, 07:08 PM
Olen   Well less of a break than I thought probable, thou...   May 23 2010, 10:58 PM
haute ecole rider   Tough decisions. You said this was brutal, and it ...   May 24 2010, 12:22 AM
SubRosa   As haute said, this was brutal. Very well done. I ...   May 24 2010, 04:13 PM
mALX   There were so many places to quote I could have ju...   May 24 2010, 10:11 PM
Destri Melarg   I concur with everything that has already been sai...   May 25 2010, 06:25 AM
Olen   Cheers for the comments. Haute - I think shades o...   May 26 2010, 10:27 AM
Remko   I do love dark stories and this one just rocketed ...   May 26 2010, 11:56 AM
SubRosa   Interesting turn of events with Skink, and the new...   May 26 2010, 05:01 PM
Destri Melarg   The first time I read the name Skink-in-Trees-Shad...   May 26 2010, 06:02 PM
mALX   Amazingly powerful writing!!! The par...   May 26 2010, 06:05 PM
haute ecole rider   All I can say is that I echo the above. This is g...   May 26 2010, 06:21 PM
Olen   Remko - thanks, I only hope it stays good... SubR...   May 28 2010, 02:51 PM
haute ecole rider   So you go away for a week or more, and leave us wi...   May 28 2010, 03:48 PM
SubRosa   We are hurtling toward the final showdown with the...   May 29 2010, 01:57 AM
mALX   Good luck with your move, I came to hate it, lol. ...   May 29 2010, 05:06 AM
Destri Melarg   An interesting summation of two disparate moral ph...   May 30 2010, 11:40 PM
Olen   Well I'm moved now, at least for the next thre...   Jun 2 2010, 08:01 PM
haute ecole rider   Now this is nail-biting suspense! Still a cli...   Jun 2 2010, 08:57 PM
SubRosa   Phew! That was intense! You definitely del...   Jun 2 2010, 10:37 PM
Destri Melarg   My favorite thing about the last few chapters is t...   Jun 3 2010, 12:13 AM
mALX   Holy Cow!!!!! (edited for con...   Jun 3 2010, 12:56 AM
Olen   A longer bit this time, with just a hint of horror...   Jun 4 2010, 10:38 AM
Remko   Oh my...... gruesome! Clive Barker eat your he...   Jun 4 2010, 11:42 AM
haute ecole rider   Yes, quite gruesome. And yes, enough to beat Cliv...   Jun 4 2010, 04:39 PM
mALX   Bleah! There goes my breakfast! GAAAAAAH...   Jun 4 2010, 04:51 PM
SubRosa   Well that scores a 10 on the ewwww! factor...   Jun 4 2010, 07:39 PM
Verlox   And I thought my stomach got sick watching the Unb...   Jun 4 2010, 07:52 PM
Destri Melarg   With eight words you perfectly illustrate the res...   Jun 5 2010, 08:26 PM
Olen   Remko - Glad you liked the gore. IMO horror is li...   Jun 6 2010, 08:14 PM
haute ecole rider   Boy Olen, you sure know how to ramp up the tension...   Jun 6 2010, 08:29 PM
SubRosa   Yay for Okun! I am glad to see that we have no...   Jun 6 2010, 08:53 PM
mALX   WOO HOO !!!!! Okun !...   Jun 7 2010, 04:04 AM
Destri Melarg   An unexpected turn of events, I am curious to see ...   Jun 8 2010, 08:35 AM
Remko   Sod all comparisons with FO3.... This sticks out b...   Jun 8 2010, 04:58 PM
Olen   haute - that's high praise, I hope I can keep ...   Jun 9 2010, 12:48 PM
SubRosa   Why do I get the feeling that Varnan has led them ...   Jun 9 2010, 04:02 PM
haute ecole rider   The whole chapter is so well written, yet again. ...   Jun 9 2010, 05:48 PM
Destri Melarg   I just love the chapters in which Firen is set adr...   Jun 11 2010, 12:07 AM
Olen   SubRosa - thanks, more foreboding in this part (wh...   Jun 12 2010, 06:27 PM
haute ecole rider   You have done an outstanding job building up the d...   Jun 12 2010, 06:59 PM
SubRosa   Now that was intense! The entire flight just b...   Jun 13 2010, 12:51 AM
Remko   Aaarrgghhh.... you........you- GENIUS!...   Jun 17 2010, 09:58 AM
Olen   Back and with another part. Thanks for the commen...   Jun 18 2010, 09:16 PM
SubRosa   Awww, it was only Skink. Still you had the tension...   Jun 18 2010, 10:51 PM
haute ecole rider   Whew, what a relief, it was only Skink! I echo...   Jun 19 2010, 12:55 AM
Destri Melarg   The last two chapters were fantastic! Okun get...   Jun 20 2010, 12:49 AM
Acadian   My goodness, I can't believe how long ago I po...   Jun 20 2010, 03:06 AM
Olen   SubRosa - you are correct that the end is near, in...   Jun 21 2010, 09:51 AM
Remko   You are a cruel person Olen. For a moment I had a ...   Jun 21 2010, 11:23 AM
haute ecole rider   While I love happy endings, I have to admit that t...   Jun 21 2010, 04:14 PM
SubRosa   That was outstanding! The magical battle was c...   Jun 21 2010, 04:38 PM
Destri Melarg   I have never played an Elder Scrolls game as a mag...   Jun 22 2010, 12:28 AM
Acadian   Dark, evocative and powerful. Very well done, Ole...   Jun 22 2010, 02:42 AM
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