Song of the Sword, Of Wars, Ansei, and the Ra Gada Options

[SubRosa]

Very neat. The method of using the memory stones to tell the story is very novel.

[Olen]

I'll second that. It's good to see poeple writing things like this which really take advantage of the online format. I don't think this would have worked nearly so well on paper but as a serial online it's brilliant. I like the sense of a spreading web you have as you introduce a large canvas but with many points of detail. I also like how it allows you multiple first person point of views, this promises to be quite interesting.

On thing I would say is to beware of introducing too many characters too fast. It's still ok but, especially bearing in mind that most people here are probably reading ten or more things at once, you could end with losing some into the crowd... Just something to consider.

Great stuff though.

[Destri Melarg]

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. As I mentioned elsewhere, I have struggled with the format of this story a bit. Combined with my concentration on Interregnum new work on this story has slowed to a crawl. I won't promise an increase in the frequency of the updates, but I will promise that I will keep working on it.

_____

From the Personal Correspondence of Emperor Hira: Report of Doniel, Captain of the Kanesh City Guard:

18/5/20th Rat, 2408

As per orders a company was dispatched to the waterfront to intercept the delegation from Noni. Under the guise of a security detail the delegation was placed into custody and brought to the royal palace without incident. Within the walls of the palace the company, assisted by the palace guard, attempted to disarm the small security detail attached to the delegation. Two members of the Noni guard drew swords, and battle was joined. Due to superior numbers most of the delegation fell beneath the combined swords of the city guard and the palace guard. Ambassador Bokene and three members of the Noni delegation were forced to the foot of the grand staircase where they were surrounded and ordered to relinquish their weapons.

Ambassador Bokene held out both hands in a gesture of compliance. Then his hands began to glow with a golden light so bright that it caused the men standing before him to shield their eyes before the glare. The light coalesced and twisted between his hands, forming itself into the appearance of a wide sword with a crescent blade. With this weapon Ambassador Bokene was able to lead the remaining Noni delegates free of the castle, decimating the city guard and slaying several members of the palace guard in the process.

Last reports indicate that the surviving members of the Noni delegation have fled into the slums. Unfortunately the city guard presence there is negligible. Therefore, it will be some time before we are able to root them out. As of this writing we have doubled the wall guards and sealed the gates. Awaiting further orders.

_____

From the Memory Stone of Ambassador Bokene:

The candles are a risk, but they are necessary. The healers cannot work in the dark. They are gentle women, and they move amongst my friends providing a kind word and a soft touch. Our wounds are past tending, none of us shall see the sun rise. Thanks to my training I can block out most of the pain, but I know my wounds are mortal. It is only a matter of time.

I marvel at the clarity of vision that the certainty of imminent death brings a man. Though I have attended the ceremonies my whole life I never stopped to marvel at how beautiful the Temples are. Even in the slums of Kanesh this Temple of Sep stands as a work of art. The priest is a man who calls himself Brother Elgin. At great personal risk he administers to my fallen comrades. I fear that his efforts are in vain, just as I fear for the retribution that awaits him after our passing.

I thought that we came prepared for Hira’s treachery, but we were mistaken. None of us knew the depths to which he would sink to accomplish his goals. To attack a diplomatic envoy under a banner of truce is artless, and without honor. May the unknown gods of war look upon this act with revulsion, and may Hira’s eventual passing be made agonizing and slow because of it.

My death poem is complete. My only regret is that I will pass out of this life without holding Laira and Belakani to me once more. What anguish will they face at news of my passing? What terrors will they meet on the path to come? Hira is many things, but he is no fool. As long as my wife and daughter yet live there will be opposition to his crown. I fear that in following the call of duty I have condemned more than just myself. Papa please, watch over them.

“My dearest Laira, I am so sorry. I wish that we might speak together of this, but destiny has taken a hand. Upon my passing this memory stone will be brought to you by a priest of Sep named Brother Elgin. Though our acquaintance was brief I feel that he is a good man, one worthy of trust. You must take Belakani to the Hall; only amongst the Ansei will she be safe. I have loved the promise of you since before we met. In our life together I found that promise fulfilled, and surpassed. I must lean upon you now; your strength must preserve our line. I know that it is not a duty that you want, but I also know that it is a duty to which you are equal. I love . . .”

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From the Personal Correspondence of Emperor Hira: Dispatch to Doniel, Captain of the Kanesh City Guard:

19/5/20th Rat, 2408

Fire the slums.

-Hira

_____

From the Kanesh Observer; 19/5/20th Rat, 2408

Assassination Attempt Thwarted

Citizens of Kanesh can rest a little easier tonight, secure in the knowledge that our rightful government still stands despite the cowardly efforts of the Noni delegation yesterday.

Sailing into Torn’s Harbor under a flag of truce, the Noni delegation, which featured more than one hundred armed men in their security detail, was escorted peacefully to the Royal palace. Once there, they set upon the palace guard in a stunning attempted coup. Their objective appears to have been to assassinate Baron Hira and the senior officials of the High Council.

Though vastly outnumbered, the palace guard reacted with a professionalism and skill that was more than a match for the craven forces of Noni. Most of the criminals were dealt with during the exchange at the palace, but a large number of them, including the attempted coup’s apparent mastermind, Ambassador Bokene, used foul magic to escape justice and fall back into the lawlessness of the slums.

When contacted for comment, a representative of Baron Hira’s office said:

“This attack goes to underscore the amount of hate and mistrust that still exists in Yokuda despite the best efforts of honorable men like Baron Hira. Even now he cannot bring himself to condemn his friend, Ambassador Bokene. If the Ambassador and his co-conspirators surrender peacefully, I have no doubt that Baron Hira’s justice will be lenient.”

Government officials have sealed the gates to the slums and reinforced the guards manning the gates. Access to that region of the city will be suspended and law-abiding citizens of Kanesh are instructed to avoid the slums during the duration of the crisis.

_____

From Brother Elgin’s Journal:

19/5/20th Rat, 2408 –

The Ambassador passed away last night while I slept. He was the last survivor of the attack. I found him this morning, still clinging to the memory stone upon which he must have continued to issue instructions until the moment of his death. I wish that I could have been there to help ease his passing, but exhaustion issued me fitful rest when I wanted it least. We bound his body and laid it to rest in the undercroft with the others. His memory stone now lies at the bottom of my pack, hidden under my meager belongings.

My faith has been shaken by these events. Truly the gods cannot exist. For if they did, how do they justify remaining idle while men like Baron Hira are ascendant and men like Bokene are laid low? I have been drawn into the sweep of events against my will. Though I am a reluctant player the duty before me lies clear. I must conduct the Ambassador’s memory stone to the Court of Noni.

I hear cheering from beyond the gate to the city. Through the Temple windows I see the long absent city guard once again walking our streets, in numbers that swiftly become too high to count. I suppose that it is only a matter of time before they wish to search the Temple. I must make ready to greet them.

I do not know why, in the brilliant light of day, they would all be bearing torches.

_____

From the Memory Stone of Lionel Onsi:

“I heard that a new boy had joined us,” said the voice from behind me, “but I didn’t think he would be quartered with me.”

“Perhaps it was done to teach you some humility, Divad,” said another.

I turned, there were three of them standing in the doorway. Older boys, and rough by the looks of them. The tallest of the group ventured into the room. I flinched.

“You are being punished for something,” said the second boy who had spoken. He was short, buck-toothed, and thick around the face and middle. “See the way he cowers in our presence. He’s slum-trash for sure.”

The tall boy reached my side. He had the bearing of one who did what he wanted and got what he desired. He did a turn around me and appraised me as if I were a goat in the undercroft.

The third boy stood next to the fat one in the doorway. He was smaller than the other two and wiry. His head was shaped like an up-turned spade and topped with an explosion of black wool-like hair that seemed far too heavy for his thin body to bear. He spoke for the first time, in a voice that carried traces of a lisp. “I wouldn’t want to share quarters with slum-trash. What if he has fleas, or worse?”

The tall boy stood behind me. He looked down his nose at me before he spoke. “Do you have fleas, new boy?”

I wanted to escape, but I knew that I could not pass the two in the doorway. The tall boy stood between me and the only window in the room. Given the small mountain of steps that I had been forced to climb to reach this floor, getting to the window would not have helped me. In fact, if it was their intention to throw me from the tower I would be doing half their work for them. I made a decision right then and there not to be so accommodating.

The tall boy was still looking at me, but his eyes held an expression of teasing, not taunting. Also there was something about the way that he looked at me that I found strangely familiar.

“Don’t you speak, new boy?” he asked.

“Only when there is something worth responding to,” I said.

“Ho! He’s got a mouth on him,” said the fat boy.

“Yes he does,” said the tall boy. His eyes were lit with amusement. “You do realize that there are three of us to one of you, don’t you?”

I looked at the fat boy in the doorway. “You mean four of you.”

The tall boy laughed, “You’ll do. I’m Divad.” He pointed at the fat boy. “That’s Waymon, the other one is Faris. Do you have a name?”

“Lionel,” I said.

“Where are you from, Lionel?”

“The slums,” I looked over at Faris and winked, “but my fleas weren’t allowed to follow me through the gate.”

They all laughed at that remark. Faris and Waymon entered the room.

“Not to worry, Lionel,” said Faris, “if you get homesick your window looks out to the . . .”

He stood transfixed, his eyes bulging from his head as his gaze was drawn to something beyond the window behind me. The others followed his gaze and fell silent. I turned, beyond the window the morning sun had been covered in a blanket of gray smoke that rose from several fires that bloodied the horizon and consumed the familiar squat dwellings of home. In the center of the inferno I saw the spire of the Temple of Sep collapse upon itself.

“Unknown gods, Lionel,” said Faris, “I hope you were an orphan.”

“Well,” said Waymon, “he is one now.”

Divad reached over and cuffed Waymon on the back of the head.

[haute ecole rider]

I'm happy to see you continuing this. It's a difficult format to work with, but I loved the contrasting perspectives of opposite sides, followed by the final scene of the four boys -

“You do realize that there are three of us to one of you, don’t you?”

“You mean four of you.”

Beautiful!

[SubRosa]

Excellent example of spin-doctoring by the Kanesh news! They could have been Pravda in the days of Stalin.


“Well,” said Waymon, “he is one now.”
Ouch! But I still could not restrain a (naturally faint) smile at reading it.

[Olen]

Likewise I'm glad to see this continued, the format is quite different and I like it. I'm not sure it would work on paper but this isn't paper and it's good to see a piece which takes advantage of that in terms of style. Gives me ideas for my next one...

Burning the slums was brutal... it makes a great atmosphere. I hope you find time to continue.

[mALX]

The memory stone of Lionel Onsi has been my favorite since the beginning and still is. All I can say is WHEW !!!!!!!!!