Memoires of Rales Sarethi, A Morrowind fanfic Options

[SubRosa]

No stairs in Divayth's tower? Well, wizards are supposed to be eccentric...

The last Dwemer is Scottish! Seriously, that is the accent I heard when I was reading his dialogue, which I am sure was intentional. Yagrum was very cool! I hope we see more of him.


nits:
warned us not to harm the inmates in anyway
I think the corpus rotted away the space between any way.


noone deserved the awful fate
It got the space between no one as well.


but noone deserves death
here too.


eventually lead to a real cure.As Divayth had stated
and the space after the period here.


my mind starting wandering of to months ago
I think you meant off?

[haute ecole rider]

I enjoyed Yagrum's dialect. He ought to be just a little mad, being the sole surviving Dwemer and stuck down in Divath's basement with a disfiguring disease and all. I think you've done well giving us a whole new character to enjoy.

[Remko]

Yeah, bit lame using a Scottish accent but it's the only I knew how to write and I really wanted to set him off.
I am definately not yet done. He still has to enchant Rales' new sword and I reckon he has some more to say about Sunder and Keening. I think the approach without the Divine help could be an interesting one although I played it with help from Vivec.

[mALX]

I am loving these new chapters!!!! Divayth and Yagrum - WOO HOO !!!! Now you're talking !!!! I loved what you did with both of them!!!

[Destri Melarg]

I agree with the others about Yagrum. That was an interesting characterization to say the least. I wonder about Zerina’s past dealings with him, and why she didn’t react at all when Uncle Divayth mentioned him. Even if their last meeting was a hundred years ago she would have still been in her early forties. I also wonder about her ability to walk through the corprusarium with impunity, as if she has no doubt that she can’t contract the divine disease. With each chapter it seems that the mystery surrounding Rales’ true love grows. I am eager to see what happens next.

Edit: ‘Moonshard’ is a much better name for a sword than ‘Moonshadow’. That would be why you’re naming the swords and I’m not!

This post has been edited by Destri Melarg: Jun 8 2010, 08:40 AM

[Remko]

Well, my explanation is that people (I indicated Yagrum mentioned 'Rina was about 4 feet high last time he saw her so really, really young and not in her fourties yet ) hardly ever remember their very early childhood. He says over a hundred years. Imagine what it would be like having spent so many time down there like Yagrum has. A hundred years, a hundred-fifty years, hell; even three hundred years. Pretty much the same I imagine.
You have a point with Zerina casually strolling along though. I will change that she raises a shield or something.

edit: I have added some lines in the conversation with Div. I hope it compliments the story because Destri was right. I neglected to adress the fact Zerina is NOT immune to Corprus. It might break with Lore (although there is notice of how Corprus gets spread) but I think its plausible to presume its not an airbourne virus or everyone in Vvardenfell would've had it.

This post has been edited by Remko: Jun 8 2010, 11:28 AM

[ureniashtram]

Jeeennnkkkiiiiinnnnsss!!!!

Oops, dis be anoder geym, mon! Zularan Tusk-Eater be atta' here. Leytar, mon! ( a bare naked troll runs off in the wrong direction.)

Sorry, but the mere mention of that name put's me in trance where I shout some curses in Taurahe and Orcish in delight.

Now, I gotta second what Hauty said. Truely, this is one of the most best written stories I've seen so far, if not the most!!

Oh, and I'm sorry for catching up now.

[Remko]

Thanks for the compliment Urenias I disagree but thanks anyway

[Remko]

A little history-lesson in here Sorry for the walls of text. There was no real good way of breaking them up.

If there still were any doubts about me being the Nerevarine, there were none left now.
I sighed deeply. Yagrum didn’t need the confirmation, his body may have been deformed but his mind was untouched. He nodded his understanding.
‘I feel for you lad, it must feel like you’re carrying the weight of Nirn on your shoulders, right? Neverar was just like that,’ he mused. ‘Always so serious. Ye seem to be a bit more light-hearted though. Don’t ever lose that lad.’

‘You actually knew Hortator Nerevar?’ I asked.
Yagrum scoffed. ‘Aye, I knew the lad. Him and Dumac, Dwemer king Dumac,’ he elaborated, ‘were close friends before…..’ he paused a while. It was clear to see raking up all this ancient history was painful to him. ‘…before the war between the Chimer and the Dwemer. I wasn’t present when it broke out because Kagrenac had sent me on an urgent matter in a different realm - y’know, like I told earlier?’ Zerina and I nodded in acknowledgement. ‘So I don’t really know the ins and outs but from what I gathered, Nerevar was betrayed by his close friend Voryn Dagoth - ye might know him only as Dagoth Ur but he was once a Chimer named Voryn Dagoth and leader of the Sixth House, House Dagoth - and presumably murdered by his three councillors. His wife; Almalexia, the warrior-poet Vekh and masterwizard Sotha Sil.

Some say Nerevar died from his wounds after he had fought with Voryn, some claim the Tribunal murdered him but no one really knows for sure. Except the Tribunal itself of course. All that is sure is that the Tribunal and Voryn all four have used Kagrenac’s tools to tap into Lorkhan’s heart and make themselves a god with it. Something they vowed to Nerevar they wouldn’t, but I digress. Where the Tribunal have to tried to do good with it, Dagoth has aligned himself with the evil in the heart and has become far more powerful over the years where the Tribunal have diminished in power. The spreading of the Corprus disease is proof of this. Not even that dreadful Ghost-Gate stopped it’

‘For someone stuck here,’ I looked around to emphasise my words, ‘you are quite well informed,’ I remarked.
‘Ah, y’see lad, Div’s been keeping me updated. I may be deformed but my mind,’ he tapped his temple, ‘hasn’t left me. Well, at least not yet,’ he joked.
‘Can you tell us more about the relationship between Nerevar, Voryn and Dumac?’ I asked Yagrum. ‘I had dreams about Dagoth claiming he was my friend but at most he was my enemy. You seem to be the only one who knows what really happened.’

‘I wish I knew as much as I would like to. As I said before; the poor lad was betrayed by either the Tribunal, by Dagoth or even by both. Most of what I’m gonna tell ye now is based on several sources so might not be what really happened but it would appear the most likely. What I think that happened is that after the war between the Chimer and the Dwemer, Kagrenac’s tools fell into the Chimer’s hands. Nerevar entrusted his best friend Voryn to guard the tools so he could consult his councillors what to do with them. The decision was made to destroy them. When Nerevar asked Voryn - he possibly used the tools to tap into the heart’s power - to hand them over to be destroyed, he refused. In the following fight Nerevar was mortally wounded and Voryn presumed dead. However; Voryn Dagoth was not slain. In stead, he now had Kagrenac’s tools and access to the heart and made himself a god. When or how the Tribunal did or did not betray Nerevar, I dunno. All I know is that at some point they got their mitts on the tools to make themselves a god too.
Why they don’t have the tools anymore is a different question altogether. You will have to ask Vivec. Sotha Sil hasn’t been seen in millenia and from what I’ve heard, Almalexia has gone insane from her paranoia.’

‘What was the war about, Yagrum?’ I asked.
‘Ah, now there ye ask a question I can answer. Kagrenac made the tools to bring life to what he called the Numidium. Us Dwemer do not believe in Gods. We believe in science and craftsmanship. To prove this point, Kagrenac had built a terrible construct - the Numidium - and was planning on using the tools on Lorkhan’s heart to empower it so it could take its rightful place as the only true god on Nirn. I can only assume his calculations were off and wiped our race from existance when he used the tools but I am getting ahead of myself.
General Nerevar had heard of this abomination and had asked his friend Dumac about it. Dumac denied it but only because he just didn’t know. Kagrenac had not informed his king.
Nerevar’s councillors were certain Dumac was lying, so the Chimer declared war on the Dwemer.
After the war, when the Tribunal supposedly betrayed Nerevar, Lady Azura was enraged about the loss of her champion and she cursed the Chimer. She turned their skin to ashen where it had been gold like that of the Altmer and their eyes turned red as fire so it would be an eternal mark of the nature of their betrayel. Thus the Chimer became the Dunmer.’

This post has been edited by Remko: Jun 9 2010, 11:13 AM

[Olen]

History in six paragraphs. Nicely done, brief, to the point and it's always nice to read that bit again. I think the blocks of text worked fine (they weren't so big anyway) seeing as the content was moving quickly.

My one comment on the writing front would be to be less afraid of the word 'said', there's nothign wrong with it. I find that quite often the synonyms are more distraction than just repeating 'said' which is so common it's more or less invisible.

I'll confess I thought the accent was meant to be archaic rather than scots but then you made a better job of it than I'd likely make of trying to write someone elses accent... and it still makes him special as a character anyway.

[Remko]

Hmm, you got me redhanded Olen. I must confess, I wanted to have it sound Archaic (hence the usage of "ye") but I couldn't figure out how to transcribe it so it ended up more Scottish-like. Close enough hehe.

[haute ecole rider]

This is actually the best explanation of the whole Dwemer/Chimer war and the Heart of Lorkhan business I've read. Well done!

As for the wall-o-text, it reads tons better than my Organic Chemistry textbook!

[SubRosa]

Thus the Chimer became the Dunmer. They really are a hard-luck race in many ways. First they leave Summerset under Velothi and struggle to survive in the east. Then they get turned blue because some of their leaders made themselves gods. Then all the Dagoth Ur, corpus, ashfall, stuff. Then finally they get a rock dropped on them and wiped out.


nits:
far more powerful over the years were the Tribunal have diminished in power.
A typo on where


‘I had dreams about Dagoth Claiming he was my friend but at most he was my enemy.
That ought to be a lowercase "c" in claiming.


You seem to be the only one what really happened.’
I think something got lost between one and what. I think perhaps "who knows" was meant to go in there?


Dumac denied but because he just didn’t know.
but sounds odd here. Perhaps you meant it instead?

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jun 8 2010, 05:49 PM

[Destri Melarg]

The mystery of what happened at Red Mountain revealed by the last living dwarf! Like Olen said, the wall of text didn’t distract because the content was so fascinating. I once started a lore topic that went on for pages debating what really happened at Red Mountain. The consensus is that nobody really knows. I like the fact that your history lesson doesn’t seek to explain everything. Yagrum is the first to say when he doesn’t know something. Given his removal from the events, how could he? Extremely well done!

[Remko]

@Destri: Wow, that means a lot comiong from you, the lore buff you are (don't deny it, you are ) Thanks a lot! And there was I fearing I'd mess it up. Fact is; I am hugely fascinated by the whole Dunmer/Chimer/Tribunal/Ashlander stuff. It's just so deep. I truly resent the path Beth have taken with "the Loveletter" and "Landfall: Ever since I started with Oblivion, Dunmer have always been favourite race to play with. I started loads of other characters but the only non-Dunmer character to make it through the MQ (and the rest of the game ) was Brennan the Imperial Warrior/Paladin. And that's because he was my first serious character after gimping a Dunmer archer because I just didn't understand the levelling system/game physics then.

[Acadian]

You're doing great Remko! Losing Wretched was a big deal, but I think losses like that are to be expected. It is nice that Rales has found a good blade. I hope you will give his new katana a name at some point.

[Remko]

‘What happened to the Sixth House?’ Yagrum’s story made some things Nibeni told us a lot easier to understand. The House unmourned just had to be the Sixth House. But unlike what was led to believe that the Sixth House - House Dagoth – had vanished, it was still alive and very much so.
‘Well, that one is hard to answer. Some of the former Sixth House members were taken into the other five. Most went to House Dres, some into House Indoril and the rest were scattered amongst House Hlaalu and Telvanni. House Redoran refused to take in any former members from House Dagoth and with good reason. It is said that the influence of Voryn was forever embedded into their very being. Some forever heard what they called the “Poison song” and were driven mad by it. I believe ye may have encountered the most powerful of these members during your travels.’

‘The minions with tentacles in stead of a face,’ I murmured.

‘Exactly laddy. The disease has mutated them into a mockery of their former existance. Corrupted and deformed but still fiercely loyal to Dagoth Ur. The weaker ones probably eventually died or were killed. Some,’ he took some glimpses around the Corprusarium, ‘might be wandering around here.’
‘How dreadful,’ Zerina said. She had been quiet ever since we entered the bowels.
The shield she had raised blurred her outline somewhat but it was as clear as glass she was emotionally heavily affected by the victims. I decided to cut to the chase so we could leave. ‘Yagrum, Divayth mentioned you might be able to enchant this sword,’ I said while slowly unsheathing the wicked looking blade. The sound it made leaving its scabbard almost sounded like a sigh, as if the blade was relieved to be out of its confinement, eager to bite into tissue.
Yagrum let out his breath slowly and smiled widely. ‘Ye couldn’t have made me happier,’ he said while taking the blade I held out to him, hilt first.
‘I’ve been wanting to get me mitts on one of these beauts for quite some time but Divayth always forgets to give me one. Been naggin’ him for years about it,’ he chuckled.
Slowly he inspected the blade, looking for dings or any other flaws in the steel.
‘Tis as good as I imagined,’ he whispered. ‘What kind of enchantment would ye like?’

‘Well,’ I said thoughtfully, ‘you probably noticed it is rather heavy.’
‘Indeed, I have lad,’ Yagrum answered smilingly.
‘Offensive enchantments are nice and all but in my experience, it always runs out of charge when it’s least convenient so-’ Before I could finish Yagrum burst out in laughter. ‘That’s exactly how I feel about enchantments. I like your thinking lad. So what’ll it be?’

‘Divayth suggested a feather enchantment so it wouldn’t feel as heavy. I really like the sound of that.’
‘Hmmmm,’ Yagrum hummed. ‘The ol’ goat has some good ideas every once in a while,’ he winked. ‘I could imbue it with a dual-effect enchantment for ye. A feather enchantment so it feels lighter to the wielder and a minor strength fortifying effect so the impact of it is increased. I will also bind the sword to you so no one else will be able to use it without suffering physical pain. Sound good?’
I couldn’t help but nodding in approval.
‘Hold out yer swordhand laddy.’
Obeyingly, I held out my left hand. Before I knew it, Yagrum had taken the Daedric blade and cut my hand with it.
I cursed sharply and was about to ask him why he did that when he excused himself. ‘That’s for the binding, shoulda mentioned it to ya.’
Indifferently I shrugged, licked off the blood, focused my will and cast a restoration spell to heal the gash in my palm.

His six metallic legs clicked and hissed as Yagrum made his way to one of the cupboards and loudly started rummaging through it.
‘Ah, here it is,’ he said while holding out a small golden disc.
‘A grand soul gem,’ Zerina breathed. Yagrum nodded in acknowledgement.
‘Correct. Now comes the hardest part. Please be quiet while I channel the magic from the gem to the blade.’ Yagrum closed his eyes and started chanting. After a brief moment the disc began glowing and started making a low-pitched hum that made the glasses on the small table ring. Slowly the noise got louder untill it climaxed with a whoosh and the light vanished.

‘I felt a shiver go through my entire being when the sound was at the loudest,’ I commented.
‘That was the attunement of the blade to your essence,’ Yagrum said, his voice suddenly exhausted. ‘The more powerful the enchantment, the more exhausting it becomes for the enchanter. I really enjoyed yer company but if there’s nothing more I can do for ye, I kindly bid you to leave me for a while now.’
‘Thank you master craftsman. I am in your debt,’ I said while bowing like I had for Divayth.
‘You’re most welcome….. Nerevarine. And take care of ‘Rina.’
I nearly cringed at the word Nerevarine, even though it was the truth.
‘I will Yagrum.’

This post has been edited by Remko: Jul 5 2010, 05:16 PM

[Olen]

Feather and burden? Interesting choices of enchantment... methinks Yagrum might be having a little joke.

As ever I liked it, this slight deviation from the game works far better in the context of the story. Yagrum is a good character and it'll be sad to see him go, still I suppose there will be more ashlanders to see to soon.

I liked the description of enchantment, and of the blade being steel, I'd wondered exactly what daedric blades were made of...

[haute ecole rider]

Wonderful chapter again! I liked the description of the enchanting, and that it takes concentration on the part of the enchanter to make it work. A lot more realistic than the game mechanics, if you ask me (of course, I'm speaking of Oblivion, which is quite different from Morrowind in many ways).

I liked Yagrum's affectionate use of Zerina's name at the end - it gives him an added dimension that I'm sure is not present in the game.

[ureniashtram]

Now that enchantment is probably very effective!! Feather and Burden? That's like combining coffee with creamrolls! Bittersweet taste but delicious nontheless!! Hmm.. Now why am I talking about food and not about your story?

Anyway, that chapter was outstanding! Like Hauty said, you really made the enchanting part very realistic!