Memoires of Rales Sarethi, A Morrowind fanfic Options

[Destri Melarg]

Rales’ pragmatism just sings in this chapter. I doubt that there are many Temple initiates who ruminate on the Temples profit earning ventures during their pilgrimage.

When I came around, the proud warrior was deduced to a pile of green and red . . .

I think the word you are looking for is reduced here.

[Remko]

Okay, one more, a short one, for today


‘Wha?- where am I?’ I mumbled when I opened my eyes. A severe throb in my head remembered me of the fight that had almost been my undoing. Gently I brought my hand up to the offending place on my head. A huge bump had manifested itself where the flat of the axe had hit me.
‘You should be resting,’ a gentle female voice ordered me. It sounded faintly familiar but I couldn’t quite place it.
I tried to look around to see who it was that had adressed me but I couldn’t see anything. Briefly I panicked – I was blind – but then my hand drifted off lower and I found I had been blindfolded.
‘You have a terrible concussion so we blindfolded you,’ the gentle voice said.
‘Don’t take it off, lest you want a splitting headache. We blinded your eyes to save you the pain of light into your eyes.’

I tried to speak but only managed to blurt out unrecognisable grunts. My mouth felt as though I had been chewing on a dead Cliffracer. Luckily for me, my caretaker understood as I felt a cup being brought up to my lips. I almost choked when I quenched my thirst a bit too enthusiastically drawing a giggle from the nurse.
Having wetted my mouth, I was able to form sentences. ‘How long have I been out?’ I was sure it had been several days, I felt my stomach rumbling but I wasn’t hungry at all. A side-effect of the concussion I figured.
‘Almost a week,’ was the reply. I was astounded. I had been out a week?
‘The miners brought you here; they said you confronted my late husband’s murderer and almost lost your life protecting his honour.’

So that’s why the voice sounded familiar, I was in widow Vabdas’ house again.
I directed my face to where I thought she was standing and smiled.
‘Thank you,’ I said simply.
‘That’s okay,’ she replied. ‘You should try to rest some more, no more talking.’
I had no problem with that, the short conversation had drained me of all my energy. I lowered my head into the castle of pillows and drifted off in a dreamless sleep.

‘Rales, wake up,’ a gentle hand, belonging to a even gentler voice I didn’t recognise, softly shook my shoulder. ‘Time for your medicine.’
‘Medicine? What medicine,’ I thought but didn’t ask. I felt much better so it must do me good. I could hear her pouring liquid in a cup and then offered it to me. With unsteady hands I tried to take it from her, splashing half of the contents into my lap.
Gently she took the cup from me and held it in front of me so I could drink from it. It tasted slightly bitter but I could feel the healing effect coursing through my body.
The question must have been evident on my face.
‘It’s a mixture my mother made. She used it for when father got home from the mine with minor wounds, like broken fingers and such,’ Vabdas’ daughter explained in a pained tone. ‘It’s simple but effective; ground marshmerrow mixed into some water.’
After having emptied the cup she gently pushed me down on the bed.
‘Rest now, we will wake you again soon.’

Day 89

Almost two weeks later, I was allowed to leave my sick-bed for the first time.
Widow Vabdas’ daughter, Zerina, had been at my side tirelessly. I honestly believed I had died and gone to heaven when she took the blindfold away. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Her eyes were perfectly almond shaped and long, red hair draping onto her back crowned her delicate face.
She helped me get out of bed, onto my shaky legs, guided me through my first steps and caught me when I almost collapsed again.
I had never met a more caring and tender person ever. In the weeks of my recovery she became my heaven, my moon, my sun and stars.

Initially, Zerina and I took short walks around the house and to the river-bank and back to get the strength back in my legs.
Soon, we took longer walks and talked about everything that came to mind. I told her things I hadn’t told anyone before and about my adventures. I don’t think she was very interested in hearing tales of bloody battles but she did laugh heartily when I told her about the feathers and the ring I had dove up for a seriously misled Breton girl.

It was the most care-free time in my life. We went from long walks to long walks hand-in-hand and had long picnics alongside the river. I taught her how to swim and she taught me how to ride a Guar. She would mount first and I would chase the Guar with her on its back until I could hop on behind her. Of course, the Guar wouldn’t cooperate and we both ended up rolling through the pastures, laughing until we couldn’t breathe and our stomachs hurt.

One such afternoon, as we rolled downhill up and over each other, Zerina’s warm breath caressed my face. Impulsively I threw my arms around her, our lips connected and my world went spinning.

Widow Vabdas frowned when it became apparent to her what was happening between us.
One evening when Zerina was out for supplies, her mother asked me what my intentions were. Quite frankly, I had no idea. It had just happened. She, nor I had given it any thought. ‘It’s not that I don’t like or trust you but one day you will disappear, like all adventurers and leave her heart-broken.’
I bit my lip, she had struck a point. I had duties to attend to. Dangers I wouldn’t want her to face. If she was to come with me, I had to be sure Zerina was safe somewhere.
‘I promise you, I will not break her heart. There are some duties I have to attend to and then I will return for her.’
‘Don’t tell me. Tell my daughter.’

This post has been edited by Remko: Apr 1 2010, 10:54 AM

[Fiach]

ahh poor Zerina, she'll be crushed ='(

[mALX]

I know it is a way over-played statement, but I think Zerina completes Rales.

[haute ecole rider]

Introducing Zerina lets us see another side of Rales, and adds even more dimension to an already well-rounded character.

This made me chuckle:

My mouth felt as though I had been chewing on a dead Cliffracer

If I ever write a Morrowind story, I might steal this!

A nit:

‘Time for your medicin.’

It's spelled medicine. While spelling can be altered to reflect accents (i.e. ya ain't seen nuffink yet! instead of you have seen nothing yet!), the e in medicine is silent and its presence or absence does not alter its pronunciation (in English, anyway), so it's better to leave the e in place.

In the weeks of my recovery she became my heaven, my moon, my sun and stars.

Music to every romantic's ears!

I'm really enjoying re-reading this at a more leisurely pace. Good job!

[SubRosa]

Pay to pray I guess.
Welcome to organized religion.

This is so Rales!
’Lugrub, time to face justice! General Darius has ordered you to put down your weapons and surrender!’
you missed a space just before this however.

I liked Lugrug's fate. He discovered the Angry Peasant Law. Namely that a big enough mob of incensed regular folks will always rip apart their tormentors, no matter how big, strong, or well trained they might be.

Here is something Teresa would envy Rales for:
After having emptied the cup she gently pushed me down on the bed.

And yay for Zerina! I have been looking forward to seeing her appearance.


nits:
I could catch two birds with one stone.
usually this is kill two birds in English.

It almost appeared as a ghost-town.
This reads a bit awkwardly, perhaps something like:
It almost appeared to be a ghost-town.


Rather than investigating as a Legionnaire, I took off my armour and dressed down as a regular Dunmer – if Darius would see me I’d probably get in trouble but they way I saw it, I had no choice if I wanted to find out the motive - and acted as a sympathiser to the harsh circumstances the miners were working in.
this is really long. It would read smoother if you broke it up into multiple sentences.

Rather than investigating as a Legionnaire, I took off my armour and dressed down as a regular Dunmer. If Darius could see me I’d probably get in trouble. But they way I saw it, I had no choice. If I wanted to find out the motive I would have to appear sympathetic to the harsh circumstances the miners were working in.


chizels
That is chisels


‘Wha?- where am I,’ I stumbled unhearable when I opened my eyes.
This is awkward at best. First ought to put a second question mark at the end of the dialogue rather than a comma, as it ends with another question. Second, I am not sure what you mean by stumbled unhearable. Stumbling means to almost fall, but it can apply to speech as a metahpor, as in "stumbling over your words". Unhearable is not an English word, it sounds like you want deaf? Did you perhaps mean something like:
‘Wha?- where am I?’ I mumbled quietly when I opened my eyes.


I tried to speak but only managed to blur out unrecognisable grunts.
I think you want blurt here.


I almost choked when I quenched my thirst a bit too enthusiastic drawing a giggle from the nurse.
I think you meant:
I almost choked when I quenched my thirst a bit too enthusiastically, drawing a giggle from the nurse.


ground marshmarrow
I believe that is marshmerrow you want.

[Remko]

@SubRosa: Thank you for the editorial insight. Of course you were right on all accounts.
I felt I had to express my own sentiment about certain aspects of religion I.... well, let's say I don't agree upon. The Tribunal Temple allowed me hidden criticism. Gotta love writing!
@Hauteecole Rider: You're welcome to it! You couldn't do me a bigger honour!


Chapter 8: Zerina

Day 97

‘You’re leaving, aren’t you,’ Zerina said matter-of-factly from behind me while putting her arms around my waist. I nodded slowly, broke my gaze from nowhere in particular outside and turned around.
Gently I kissed her forehead. ‘I don’t want to but I have to. But believe me; I will come back for you.’
She smiled, her eyes filled with sadness and looked into my eyes. A wry smile formed around her lips. ‘You better. When?’
‘Soon.’ I just wasn’t sure when. Events had been spinning out of control; I had a feeling it was about to get worse but didn’t want to worry Zerina.
I think she felt my inner struggle. She clenched my hands in her hands and took me upstairs.

Zerina was still asleep when I carefully slipped from underneath the covers so she wouldn’t wake up. For a minute I remained utterly silent and just watched her. I had to pinch myself to make sure this wasn’t some dream I’d wake up from any moment.
Dawn was breaking just when I had packed my gear and headed to Gnisis on foot. My heart was heavy and I felt my eyes burning as I turned around and looked at the house where I had been nursed back to health and where the woman I loved lived. I made a vow to come true to my promise I had made to Widow Vabdas and Zerina. I would return when I had a safe place for us to stay. It would have to wait until I had de-briefed with General Darius and told him the dirty job was done.

Of course the General already knew what had taken place in the mine. Even though I hadn’t been the one that had ended the Orc’s life, Darius congratulated me on a job well done, promoted me to spearman and gave me an Imperial shield. I thought the congratulation was rather unappropriate but didn't say anything about it.
My next orders were to cure the Kwama Queen in the egg-mine. To cure the queen from a blight disease I could buy a scroll from Hetman Abelmawia.
He didn’t tell me those things were very expensive! I knew no spell of my own with the same effect so I had no choice.
To make sure I didn’t have to walk all the way back should the spell miss, I bought two and went up the trail leading to the mine. Hopefully for the last time.

Like with Lugrub, I knew exactly where to go. The mine’s production had been halted due to the Kwama Queen being sick so there were no distractions. I raced down the mine, drank one of my home-made healing potions just in case and went to where I thought the Queen’s lair was located. I had a faint idea where it would be. I assumed the Queen would be guarded by Kwama warriors, the ill-tempered ones I had encountered weeks ago. Logic dictated the Queen wasn't far away from her gaurdians, the Kwama warriors.

My assumption was dead on. As soon as I entered the part of the mine where Lugrub and I had fought, I was attacked by Kwama warriors. Behind them, I could see the gigantic Kwama Queen. With the healing potion still active, anything the warriors threw at me was healed instantly. I ignored the warriors and headed straight for the Queen. The moment I cast the spell to heal her, a warrior struck me in my back, causing the spell to miss the Queen by a fraction of an inch. Annoyed, I downed an invisibility potion, temporarily confusing the Kwama warriors and allowing me to cast the spell on the second scroll. This time I didn’t miss. Having completed my mission, I felt much better. At least now I was doing some good and was actually helping people. The kind of thing I had joined up for.

Darius thanked me for curing the Queen. Now the mining operations could be continued and bring some good to Gnisis. The mine was the only real income for the
town. Many residents counted on it to make their living from mining the eggs.
‘I need you to rescue someone,’ Darius replied when I asked what my next assignment was. This sounded just like something for me.
‘A pilgrim called Madura Seran has gone missing nearby Ald Velothi, see if you can locate and rescue her.’
I saluted and headed north, to Ald Velothi.

***

Since there were no travel accomodations leading to Ald Velothi, I got to stretch my legs a bit. A small trail leading through the mountains was the quickest way getting there.
The scenery was stunning, I couldn’t help thinking I should take Zerina here once. From the high cliffs you could see the sea to the north and west and steep, white-tipped mountains, reflecting the last light of the day, dotted the area. I was sure she’d be delighted.
Several hours later, I had ran most of the way, I arrived at the Ald Velothi outpost.
Almost everyone had heard of Madura gone missing but strangely enough no-one had any idea where she could be. After running around in circles for what seemed like hours and having asked nearly every villager I ended up back at the outpost.
I realised this was the only place where I hadn’t inquired yet.

And, of course, this was the place I got directions to where she might be.
Often you hear someone saying: ’It’s always on the last place you look.’ That’s a pretty dumb statement if you think about it. Of course it’s on the last place you look. There’s not really a point in keep looking if you already found what you’re looking for, right?
Orero Omothan suspected she had been captured by Ashlanders in a camp nearby.
He told me I could find the camp south-west of Velothi, just past a hill with a lighted tree. I remember distinctly raising a brow. ‘Lighted tree? What’s that supposed to mean?’
Orero shrugged and said I’d know what he meant as soon as I saw it. Couldn’t miss it, he assured me.
I thanked him and headed south-west.

Shortly after I had left from the outpost, I saw what Omothan had meant; a tree with some kind of travel-lantern in its branches lit the way.
The small camp was easy to find. Outside two Ashlanders looked at me with suspicion.
In an effort to break the ice, I approached them and asked them politely about the pilgrim. They simply pointed towards the biggest tent in the camp.
The hint was obvious. I pulled away the hide that functioned as a door and entered the yurt. Inside were two people; a proud looking Ashlander, holding a fearsome looking axe, I preferred not to get into a fight with and a Dunmer woman. In broken Dunmeri the Ashlander asked me what I was doing inside. I explained him I had come to take Madura Seran back home, to Ald Velothi. The Ashlander shook his head and said he needed a tribute before he’d release her. I sighed and dug up several hundred gold Drakes and handed them over. I could see the common language - greed - glistening in his yes.
‘That will get you somewhere, Outlander. You can take her.’ I couldn’t help noticing the gold had a educational value as well. Suddenly he could speak accentless Dunmeri.
Madura nearly sprinted out of the yurt, I had to chase her just to catch up.
We arrived safely back to the Ald Velothi outpost shortly after.

‘Did you find the missing pilgrim?’ General Darius inquired after I had returned to Gnisis from my mission.
‘Yes Sir, she was captured by some Ashlanders.’
‘You didn’t wipe them all out, did you,’ General Darius asked with a wink.
‘No Sir,’ I said with a toothy grin. ‘All it took was some gold to persuade them to let her go. My gold to be precise.’
Darius cocked his head. ‘You’ll be wanting a refund then, I guess?’
‘That would be nice.’
‘Fair enough, report with the Drillmaster and he’ll repay you your professional expenses. I don’t have any orders for you at the moment. Return to me in a few weeks, maybe I’ll have work for you then. Meanwhile, enjoy your new rank, I am honoured to call you Trooper Sarethi from now on. The Drillmaster will also give you the armour belonging to your new rank, don’t forget to ask him about it.’
I saluted and went to the Legion Barracks to retrieve my gold and new armour.

Since I had nothing on my hands for a while, a return to Balmora and finishing the task Caius had given me, would be in order. I had another, more selfish, reason to return to Balmora. Rumours of a recent assassination of a prominent Hlaalu member had reached me and had given me an idea.
Puuting words to deeds, I took a stiltstrider to Balmora and started with the investigation. I was getting quite proficient in investigating murders. This was going to be the third one. The thought of starting a business crossed my mind but soon cast it to the side, dead people can’t reward you. Besides, my alchemy trading was lucrative enough.

This post has been edited by Remko: Apr 2 2010, 11:20 AM

[SubRosa]

Now that had to be one of the most tactful sex scenes I have ever read. A very gentle way of avoiding forum filters.

I couldn’t help noticing the gold had a educational value as well. Suddenly he could speak accentless Dunmeri.
Funny how money can do that!

[mALX]

She's Baaaaack !!!

[Remko]

@SubRosa: Yeah, I figured I'd just hint at it and leave the rest open for imagination. Treading into details is hard without making it vulgar. You get away with it somehow (credit to your skill!) but then again, you're a sensitive woman
@mALX1: Yep, do you think this would be the appropriate time to launch her background as well?

I made small change to the next chapter, something I wanted to put in initially but forgot. I got the chance to rectify that here. I felt that although the explanation of the tight confines was some explanation why Rales previaled over five enemies was alright but inadequate. I elaborated. I hope you agree and like it.


Day 99

The first thing I did when I arrived in Balmora was to proceed to the scene of the crime, Hlaalo manor in the north-west of town, nearby the White Haven alchemy shop. Unfortunately, the door into the manor was locked. Breaking into a house in broad day light wasn’t the best course of action – especially considering the area was crawling with Hlaalu guards – so I started asking around if anyone had heard anything.

Most ignored me, some said they didn’t even know Ralen. I found that rather hard to believe, some had been standing next to his house while stating that. To me it felt like the crime was being covered up. Apparantly, I had to dig deeper to get to the bottom of this. Soon, I had asked practically every citizen in Balmora. It wasn’t until I asked Caius about it that I was starting to get somewhere. The Spymaster pointed out there was only one organisation capable of such a major scale cover-up, the Camonna Tong.
‘I thought you told me the Camonna Tong are on the Hlaalu payroll? Why would they murder one of their beneficiaries?’
Caius shrugged. ‘Beats me. You could try with the Thieves’ Guild. The Tong and the Thieves’ Guild have been in a blood-feud for years. Most of the members will be in the South Wall Cornerclub. Just be careful Rales! The Camonna Tong are a ruthless bunch.’
Just before I left, Caius suddenly remembered an old friend of his, Larrius Varro, was looking for me. I could find him in the nearby Legion fort, fort Moonmoth.

The South Wall Cornerclub was nearby Caius’ house so it didn’t take me long to find it. A Khajiit called Sugar-Lips Habasi greeted me. After having introduced myself I came straight to business and asked her if there was anything she knew about the murder of Ralen Hlaalo and about the Camonna Tong. As soon as I brought up the Tong, Sugar-Lips refused to answer more questions. It seemed I was getting close but no further either.
It was the same with every one else I asked about it. When I brought up the Tong, everyone acutely lost their tongue. An Argonian had mentioned “bad people” before he realised he had said too much.
Putting one and one together, bad people could only refer to the Camonna Tong.
I had found a suspect, now I needed proof.

Later that day, well after dark, I returned to the Hlaalo manor, waited for the few guards - who were still patrolling the area - to be out of sight and picked the lock.
The victim was lying on his face in a huge pool of his own blood. A familiar looking wound – you can hardly mistake the awful wounds axes make for anything else – covered most of his back. He had not just been murdered, he had been struck down cowardly from behind. Disgusted I looked around for clues. I could tell it hadn’t been a professional job, red foot prints led from the victim to the door. I couldn’t imagine a professional assassin would have stamped through his victim’s blood, leaving such an obvious trail.

Upon inspection, I noticed something weird with the trail, the prints of the right shoe showed a discrepency compared to the prints from the left shoe. It seemed as though there was a part missing from the sole from the right shoe. All I needed to do was to find the footwear that had the same strange flaw and I had found the killer.
How I was going to pull of that feat was a different story. It wasn’t like I could ask every single person in Balmora to show me the sole of their right shoe.

***

Instead of simply following that single clue, I continued searching the house for more.
The only additional clue I found confirmed my suspicion about it not having been a professional hit. I actually found a witness, Ralen Hlaalo’s servant had seen everything through the keyhole of her door. She told me she had seen a red-headed Dunmer with a very peculiar hairdo and a huge axe. Unfortunately, she hadn’t seen his face but at least now I had some descriptions I could follow. For a brief moment I wondered why she hadn't done anything but then again; what could a frail old woman have done except getting killed herself?
How many red-head Dunmer men with a very peculiar hairdo could there be? I was considering paying a visit to the Council-Club the next day to see if my suspect hung out there. I had to start somewhere. Why not at the most likely place for my suspect to be?

Day 100

Finding a suspect is one thing; confronting a suspected murderer who is presumed innocent until proven otherwise is something else. Especially when the suspect is an aggressive Camonna Tong member. How was I going to subtly interrogate him while not directly making accusations?
Let me start at the beginning: as soon as I walked into the Council Club top floor entrance a Dunmer exactly fitting the description was banging away at some armour with a hammer. Apparantly Thanelen Valas was a smith. That would certainly explain how he was able to handle the gigantic axe strapped to his back. Until now, the only ones I’ve seen being able to, were Nords and Orcs, not a relatively - compared to Orcs and Nords - small Dunmer, even though he was huge for one.
Instead of being blunt I decided to show interest in his profession and admire his handywork. I even bought a dagger from him to get in his good grace. I, on purpose, overpayed Valas for it.

After some small talk, about politics and such, I asked him what he knew about Ralen Hlaalo’s murder. Surprisingly, he said he had heard about it and that Nine Toes, a local Argonian - one I knew to be a fellow Blade - had done it. I couldn’t believe it. He actually denied being the murderer. I couldn’t be blowing Nine Toes’ cover by saying I knew for a fact he wasn’t the murderer and how I knew that. Even if I hadn’t known him, Argonians weren’t very likely to be mistaken for a Dunmer - unless you’re blind as a bat.
My patience had run out. ‘You’re a liar,’ I blurted out. ‘There was a witness to the murder. You are the only one in whole Balmora fitting the descriptions the witness gave.’
‘Alright, I killed him!’ he growled. ‘So what? People get killed all the time.’
‘Not if I can help it,’ I retorted.

He made an insult directed to my mother, I refuse to repeat, and drew his axe. I think he should’ve stayed at his smithy. He was useless as a warrior. Sure, his hands were as big as spades and he swung his axe like it was a feather – albeit a heavy one – he wouldn’t have been able to hit a Stiltstrider if it had been in front of his nose. I couldn’t resist taunting him. ‘A lot harder to kill someone when he’s fighting back isn’t it?’ I growled in contempt.
He wasn’t able to form decent words in between his panting. I soon had enough of this facade and made a move he never saw coming. With a resounding thud his severed head dropped on the wooden floor. Bloody justice but justice none-the-less.
His right shoe’s sole had the exact pattern cut out I had seen in the bloody trail in the Hlaalo manor. The only two regrets I had were that I hadn’t been able to extract his motives and having bought the dagger from him. What a useless piece of scrapmetal that was!

***

A second chance to learn of his motive arose soon. His friends downstairs had heard the unmistakable sounds of combat. Two of them came upstairs to see what it was all about.
They asked me what the reason was their friend had lost his head. I explained the situation. Strangely enough, they completely understood. They even revealed to me it had been about a petty squable concerning a payment the Hlaalu noble had refused to make. Valas hadn’t been much of a smith either, Ralen Hlaalo had refused to pay because the repairs were far below standard.
After having explained the circumstances of the murder, they said that even though it was perfectly understandable I had killed Valas, they couldn’t allow some Outlander to get away with killing their friend – a Camonna Tong member.

The consequential battle drew in two more Camonna Tong members from downstairs. After I was done basically tearing them apart, five maimed bodies and several body parts were strewn around the club, its walls painted red with their blood. They hadn’t posed a much bigger threat to me than Valas alone had posed - as a matter of fact; the fights had been fairly easy because we had been inside a building with narrow corridors. Had we been fighting outside they would’ve been able to surround me and I wouldn’t have stood a chance. All the swordtraining in my youth payed off there. I was used to fighting right-handed swordsmen. Most right-handed swordsmen don't know how to handle rare left-handed swordsmen, like me. Then, there was the fact that they were dumb enough attacking an enemy higher than them. Any tactician will tell you: 'Be extra careful when attacking an enemy above you.' Another lesson they hadn't been taught. The Council Club ended up without customers of the criminal kind.
A turn for the better in my, slightly prejudiced, opinion.

Ralen’s servant, Uryne Nirith, had entrusted me with the knowledge the other Hlaalu nobles offered a reward for finding the murderer and bringing him or her to justice when I went to inform her she needn’t be afraid of the murderer anymore. I assured her he wouldn’t come back to get rid of loose ends.

Finding the local Hlaalu noble was easy for a change. The council manor was right across the street. The noble I needed to speak to receive the reward, Nileno Dorvayn, was thankful I had solved the most foul murder and had put the murderer to justice. She was puzzled why someone not belonging to the same great house would go through so much trouble. I explained I had a problem with people getting killed for no good reason. (I wondered what a good reason would be, except self-defense, to kill someone anyway)

The reward was a thousand gold Drakes but I offered Nileno an alternative.
Ralen Hlaalo wouldn’t be needing his house anymore and I could do with a roof over my head. I suggested she’d keep the reward. Instead, I asked her to allow me renting or buying the house. I promised I’d get the place cleaned up and keep the servant employed. She could use the reward for a decent burial for the victim.
Nileno acted as though she had to give my proposition some thought but her eyes betrayed her true emotions. I could clearly see the thought not having to give me the reward appealed to her. After some – obviously faked – consideration she agreed on letting me rent the place. Selling a Hlaalu house to a Redoran wouldn’t be appropriate she said but making a profit is something the Hlaalu always strive for. We agreed on a rent of five hundred gold Drakes per month, six months to be payed in advance. It was a lot of gold to hand over at once but I could easily afford it.

This post has been edited by Remko: Apr 6 2010, 11:52 AM

[SubRosa]

This is our Rales!
My patience had run out. ‘You’re a liar,’ I blurted out.

I thought Rales' victory over the five Tongs was completely believable, given the circumstances. As long as he kept them in a hallway only one or two would have been able to get at him at most, and if he was at the top of the stair you are quite right about the advantage of height.

The First Siege of Rhodes was decided in exactly that manner. The Turks attacked the city with a huge force (supposedly 100,000) and eventually were able to break into one of the towers. 2,500 Knights Hospitallers defended the city. The entire battle came down to a struggle on the narrow tower stair, men fighting chest to chest. Given the circumstances the overwhelming numbers of the Turks were completely nullified, and they were driven off.

nits:
I think you have gotten Hlaalu and Haalo mixed up in a few places, such as mention of the manor and guards being Haalo instead of Hlaalu. The game makes it confusing, given the similarities of the names.

In stead of simply following that single clue
Instead is one word in English.

[Remko]

I confused Hlaalu and Hlaalo somewhere? Mind pointing it out 'cause I checked but didn't see anything wrong.

[SubRosa]

It was places like here:

The first thing I did when I arrived in Balmora was to proceed to the scene of the crime, Haalo manor in the north-west of town,
That should be Hlaalo.

‘I thought you told me the Camonna Tong are on the Haalu payroll?
and that Hlaalu

I asked him what he knew about Ralen Haalo’s murder.
That should be Hlaalo.

They even revealed to me it had been about a petty squable concerning a payment the Haalu noble had refused to make
and probably Hlaalu here, although you could use his family name instead. And that should be squabble.

Ralen Haalo had refused to pay because the repairs were far below standard.
That should be Hlaalo.

[Destri Melarg]

He had not just been murdered, he had been struck down cowardly from behind. Disgusted I looked around for clues.

Spoken like a true Redoran.

The battle scene was well-described, and your explanation for Rales’ (apparently) easy victory was both interesting and believable. Sometimes I have a hard time reconciling the incredibly fierce and skilled Rales depicted in this fight with the Rales who relies so much on Zerina later. Love must make him weaker.

This post has been edited by Destri Melarg: Apr 2 2010, 09:36 PM

[mALX]

I use that same trick in Rock Milk Cave when you have to attack roomfuls of bandits/marauders at the same time - it is the only way to survive when it is one against a roomfull. Good going on this!

[Zalphon]

Sorry it's been so long, Rales. School>Forums. I do like your recent chapters. You're vastly improving!

[minque]

yay..another one which I haven't posted about. Ahhhrg, you guys are sheer post-machines, a hard working woman has no chance to comment as much as she'd like to...

Aaaanyway, I really like this story, (yeah, yeah, I've said that about mostly all the new exciting stories that popped up here the last few weeks, but since it's true!....)

I can relate very well to this because I've played MW so much...And I enjoy it everytime..

So this adds another one to my "must-read-list" Oh aye, it's so relaxing and enjoyable to take the time and sit down and read...and the nine Divines know there's a lot to read here nowadays

More Remko, ya hear!

[Remko]

Why, thank you Minque! Always makes me happy to read I amused someone.

@SubRosa: Now I understand why I couldn't find anything wrong... I was looking for Hlaalu / Hlaalo-mix-ups rather than looking for the missing "l".... OOps....

@Destri: I see where you're coming from. I like to think he had it easy so far. The only "hard" parts he faced before he met Zerina was the Dremora Lord but that was one-on-one, his specialty. You agree?
I really like your opionion on this 'cause if it in fact a point I goofed up, I should find a way to make it more realistic. Thanks for pointing it out!


Day 102

Uryne and I spent nearly two days cleaning and redecorating the manor. While she was getting rid of the awful stains on the floor the blood had made, I took several trips to Seyda Neen and back to retrieve all my goods from the shack I had been living in for the last months. A spell that enabled me to instantly teleport myself from the shack to the house in Balmora cut the travel time in half and made it possible for me to take far more items in one trip.
After my third and final trip, I had just got back to the manor, a Hlaalu messenger brought an invitiation to Ralen’s burial ceremony. Uryne told me it was a rare honour for someone not belonging to the same house to receive such an invitation.
I told the messenger to inform the Hlaalu nobles I’d be more than honoured to attend and gave him some gold for his effort.

Wasting no time, I ran to the Stilstrider port and payed for a trip to Ald’ruhn and from there to Gnisis. There was nothing I wanted more than having Zerina at my side with the ceremony. My heart was beating in my throat when I finally arrived at the Vabdas house nearly one and a half day later. Not from running but from pure anxiety. What if Zerina wasn’t ready or even unwilling to leave Gnisis to come live with me? With soaking wet hands I knocked on the door.

Widow Vabdas opened the door and let me in. Zerina was out, feeding the Guar but would soon be back she informed me. I respectfully greeted Widow Vabdas and went outside to find Zerina.
Knowing the area well because of all the walks we had made, it didn’t take me long to find her. I knew all the spots where she could likely be. Zerina was feeding a Guar, I was certain it had been the exact same one we used to try to mount. From the moment she spotted me, I knew my doubts and fears had been unfounded. She ran towards me and threw herself in my welcoming arms. ‘You came back,’ she breathed.
For several minutes words were obsolete to express the feelings we had for eachother.

‘How would you like to live in Balmora with me? If she wants, your mother can come too. The house I’ve rented is big enough.’
‘I don’t think mother will leave this place. It’s where she has lived her whole life. Gnisis is her home. I would love to though,’ she said and kissed me on my cheek.
I was ecstatic as we walked back to the house to ask her mother for permission.

Widow Vabdas made no objections. It was more than clear I could provide for her. The sparkle in Zerina’s eyes was reason enough for her to grant us her blessing.
All she wanted was for Zerina to be happy. She wouldn’t join us for the exact reasons Zerina had indicated but she did promise to come visit us soon.
Quickly we gathered all her clothing and typical woman things I didn’t recognise.
There wasn’t much to pack, half an hour later we were ready to walk to Gnisis if it hadn’t been for the long farewell between daughter and mother. Tears and laughter were shed while I kept myself to the side.

‘Who’s the pretty lady at your side?’ the Stiltstrider pilot in Gnisis asked. With all the trips I had taken recently I had gotten quite familiar with several pilots.
Zerina was blushing as I took a glimpse to my right.
He saw it too. Discretely he mumbled something like he understood and took us to Ald’ruhn and Balmora.

Day 109

We arrived in Balmora in the early evening. The sun had just began to set, bathing the town in a orange and yellow haze. Rather than head straight for the manor, we stopped at the Eight Plates and had a drink outside watching the sun go under the mountainridges. After we finished our refreshments we proceded to the manor to drop off Zerina’s belongings. I had promised her to show her around town afterwards.
Sometimes, an expression can say more than words. The expression on Zerina’s face when we arrived at the manor made my heart jump in my chest. She couldn’t believe how pretty the manor was and that I had been able to afford to rent a big house like that.

Her belongings were far less than the cupboards I had installed could ever fill.
After having put her belongings away in a cupboard, we ventured outside so I could show her around. Some men sent glimpses I recognised for jealousy, the beauty by my side didn’t notice but I gloated in the attention.
Several stops were made at various shops. After several hours, we arrived back at the manor holding more than we first arrived. The cupboards would be full in no time at this rate.

For the second time that day Zerina made my heart leap after she had changed into an absolutely stunning dress we had bought for her. The colour of it complimented her fiery red hair that was held up by sticks. She didn’t wear it for very long, that night we celebrated life and drank its pleasurable aspects with great thirst.


Day 110

The morning after, I awoke unexpectedly early with Zerina’s delicate body entangled with mine. In the back of my mind I knew there were duties I should attend to but I just couldn’t bring myself getting out of bed and to get dressed. The images of the night before made a mess of my determination, I was uttely intoxicated by the woman lying next to me. Duties would have to wait until another day. Distraction was a deadly flaw in my line of work, I needed to have a clear head first.
For hours I simply watched her mumbling in her sleep. The words were not understable but they soothed me until I too drifted back to sleep.

Clear-headedness was not something I was going to be granted. When I awoke for the second time that day, Zerina was yawning and leisurely stretching herself next to the bed.
I think she noticed I was admiring the cat-like nimbleness of her naked, slender body. She turned to me and smiled in a way that made my heart race and my ears glow.
Aroused, I grabbed her around the waist playfully. Giggling girlishly, she allowed herself to be dragged back into bed and the game started anew.

Afterwards, we were starving. We got dressed, headed downstairs and asked Uryne to make us something up. The amused look in her eyes and faint smile told me she might have heard us during the night but she was discrete enough not to mention it. When I was giving Uryne the rest of the day off after our lunch, Zerine poked me in my side with her elbow. Our servant ended up getting the rest of the week off and plenty of gold to spend so we had the house entirely to ourselves.

Day 111

Zerina wanted to go swimming. Ever since I had taught her it had become one of her favourite pass-times. Besides that, we both could do with a bath. She smelled wonderful as always – in my opinion anyway – but I certainly didn’t.
With something to eat and drink stowed away in a basket I found in the house, we took the path south out of Balmora passed the Stiltstrider port and followed the river to the Odai plateau.

Zerina was still in the river, washing her hair while I was already ashore reading a book I had meant to study for weeks but never got around to it when a bone-chilling scream tore me out of my concentration. I tossed the book carelessly to the side, drew a dagger I had taken along as a safety measure from the basket and ran to the river as fast as I could.

Zerina was jumping hysterically on a boulder. I would’ve burst out in laughter hadn’t it been for the grave expression on my love’s face that turned my blood to ice. When I asked her what was wrong she answered with a little voice there had been something below that had brushed her feet.
I drank a waterbreathing potion and submerged, dagger in hand.
A creature, I quickly recognised as a Dreugh, was lingering several feet below the surface. I smirked as it attacked and wished I had brought my long-sword in stead. Dreughs are slow but have a thick, hard to penetrate, insectlike, exoskeleton. Experience had taught me they were exceptionally vunerable beneath their arms, slightly below the armpit. I dove deeper and came up below the Dreugh for a surprise attack. Before it knew what happened, I stabbed my dagger several times in the spot where its armour was the thinnest. Wailing, it sank deeper while its lifeblood briefly stained the river red.

The rescued lady was keen on thanking her “brave hero” for rescuing her from the awful predicament. Of course I was most reluctant holding the shaking Zerina and comforting her. While I was whispering re-assuring words into her ear everything was alright, I made a decision to teach her to defend herself. What if I hadn’t been there to slay the Dreugh?
I didn’t leave her out of my sight for a second after the attack.

An hour later, the business with the Dreugh practically forgotten, we were back in the river, carelessly playing like children and chasing each other through the warm, wet sand.
‘Look what I found,’ I said when I emerged after a long dive.
‘What?’
I showed her the pearl. ‘Maybe I can have it made into a necklace for you. Want to see if we can find anymore?’
Her eyes sparkled with the anticipation. She pressed her wet frame to mine, whispered a thank you and gave me a quick kiss. The thankyou-kiss in the river soon became a series of kisses, then a passionate embrace, our wet, naked bodies entwined almost inseparately. Gently, I lifter her of her feet and carried her to a soft patch in the grass as we lost ourselves in eachother. Time held no significance, no substance what-so-ever. For hours we remained on that same spot, in turn snoozing and making love, far into the late afternoon, the pearl-diving entirely forgotten.

This post has been edited by Remko: Apr 6 2010, 06:47 PM

[mALX]

Rales is complete now, his woman by his side! I love how feminine Zerina is here, screaming and jumping over a creature - when I know she is a mage of no minor talent, lol.

This post has been edited by mALX: Apr 6 2010, 01:37 PM

[SubRosa]

So Rales is not officially hooked up! I have been looking forward to this ever since starting over reading again. Once again, you portrayed the romantic aspects with a very gentle touch, telling us everything, without having to tell us everything. That is nicely done.

I loved Rales' nervousness at going meeting Zerina, and wondering what she would do when he asked her to accompany him. I think you wrote that rather nicely, showing us his anxiety, which is all too natural given the circumstances.


nits:
Uryne and I spend nearly two days cleaning and redecorating the manor.
Spend is present tense, I believe you want spent, which is past tense here.


‘You came back,’ she exasperated.
Exasperated means irritated or annoyed. I think you wanted something like overjoyed?


I was extatic as we walked back to the house to ask her mother for permission.
That is ecstatic.


Some men send glimpses I recognised for jealousy
Another present tense with send, past tense would be sent.