Teresa of the Faint Smile, Adventures of a Stringy Bosmer Options

[Lady Syl]

Chapter 5 review

Teresa's dream was most interesting--I'm wondering what the significance of her being the woman covered in black feathers is. Especially when taken with the fact that she is seeing ravens and crows--the sense that they are guiding her that you mentioned in the story... I like this. This is a very interesting aspect. I can't wait to find out more about this...

When Teresa had the wine and bread and olive oil--YUM! My husband and I love to eat just that exact mixture along with a fine meal, or just as a light snack from time to time.... Excellent taste, my dear!

It was cute the way Teresa was so enamoured with Nerussa that she didn't even hear everything that Nerussa said!

She is rather elegant to be running the Wawnet Inn, so I'm wondering if you'll be going more into this mystery or not...?

Teresa is an adorable character--the way she is getting used to wine, and her embarrassment at being caught listening in on Nerussa's conversation with Aelwin... I love that she unwittingly drank a little too much wine, too. If you're not paying close attention, it's easy to do--especially because wine tastes so good!

So, Nerussa talked her into going after those slaughterfish for Aelwin--"there was no way..." I could almost see that coming--the moment she thought, "no way," I knew it was coming--especially since the title of the chapter was gone fishing... Nerussa sounds like quite the charmer! Of course, no surprise there, because she is one of the more exquisite looking NPCs in the game.

Her encounters with those slaughterfish--especially the line "It let go of the cage and turned to look at her with its glassy black eyes." Oooh, it made chills run down my spine! Very well written!

I laughed when poor Teresa realized she was showing it all off in her wet tunic when she went back to Weye. It was another cute episode of the sweet and innocent little Bosmer with the faint smile!

Also, I loved the description you added about the Jewel of the Rumare. Not only did you give it its own unique look, but the look of it as I imagined from your description is exquisite.

And I loved that she felt so good about helping Aelwin--the look of gratitude in his eyes as you described. It brought a tear to my eyes. This is so far my favorite chapter for so many reasons.

[King Coin]

26.1

A very leisurely walk along a river. I really liked the interaction with the old man and his grand kids in the village. Not much else to say, other than it's nice to be with Teresa again.
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26.2

Chapter 25.2 – The Fighter

I noticed 26.3 was similarly mislabeled. I don't think chapter 25 wanted to end!

Another ruin! I wonder whose horse is tied outside?

Carandial! Wait who was that again? *checks wiki * Ah the researcher! Now Teresa knows where to go for some more interesting ruins. I don't think that the title of the chapter is referring to Carandial, who else are we going to meet?
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25 26.3

Just thinking on the Emperor, if he hadn't died, would Teresa be who she is now?

Goodness Woodelves just love swimming don't they?

Bravil's been rearranged judging from your screenshot of the lucky old lady.

Aia! I remember reading about Teresa and Aia in Acadian's TOA. I really wish that I was caught up for that, that would have been a real pleasure to read about from two perspectives.
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25.4 err.. 26.4

The buildings of Bravil have that sprawling feel to them.

I can understand Teresa's nervousness about entering the guild hall. Giving up a portion of the freedom she has would be difficult, especially when she doesn't know how much of it they will demand.

An empty guild hall? Strange... Good way to spend the time, getting some reading done in that book of hers.

Hey the guild needs an archer? Well I think they just had one walk in. And I remember Pappy needing someone able to make potions even before his guild was gutted at Bruma. I think Teresa will be a good fit. The only question is, how much of her freedom will they demand?

Already checking out the vice commander's butt

Well if she noticed it doesn't seem to have bothered her!
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26.5 I'm just going to say here that every section of chapter 26 has been taken hostage by chapter 25

The way I hear it, they lost most of the guild at Bruma."

That would be hard on any commander. I had picked out a favorite from the guild, then I think his body was found minus his head.

I thought I found a nit but it turns out Hondling is word after all.

I liked hearing about how the guild works.
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26.6 How am I the only one to notice the 25 invasion? Everyone just must be more polite than I am

Oh no! It would have been better if she'd just said no! Baurus had everything tidied up!

How on Nirn did Pappy accept all that?

"I am not a kid!" The growl escaped Teresa's throat before she was even aware she was going to speak. "My name is Teresa, get used to it gramps."

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26.7

I can tell Pappy is going to enjoy getting her riled up.

I like Pappy's training method R. Lee Ermey would be proud!

"That's Teresa, old man," the wood elf reflexively corrected him.

This is going to be a very common occurrence I think.
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26.8

Teresa's got a heck of a temper. It's good that she restrained herself from pitching something at a possible future employer's head. Now she wants to deck him? Good luck with that Teresa.

an orc sat in the lobby, clad in fine blue velvet and reading a book. He looked up as she entered and opened his mouth to speak. But after one look at her face he shut it again.

Wise man. He probably thinks it's just her time of the month lol. Is it?

[Lady Syl]

Chapter 6

It is with this chapter that we can really see the changes that have taken place in Teresa since her meeting with the Emperor. Her return to her home really brings out the changes, and the title is very fitting.

Her life before had been focused simply on her day to day survival in the harsh world of being on the streets in the city--far removed from the haughty nobles who would look at her with disdain before. It's always sad and yet comforting that human beings never truly change. They make up their minds about others based merely on their outward appearances, and Teresa used to when her focus was different. But with her broadening horizons comes the ability to see deeper than most people see, and you portray that beautifully.

Her relationship with Simplicia is wonderful to see, and I could feel that hint of sadness that Teresa has sort of outgrown her relationships with the people from her life, such as Simplicia. I am glad she still makes plenty of time for the sweet old beggar, and that she left money with her to help her survive. Teresa is moving beyond her former self, but that hard life she used to have gave her some beautiful life lessons that people who live more privileged lives don't usually understand.

Teresa's confidence is another thing you portrayed very well--going from a shy, insecure little bosmer street urchin to a forester with strength and confidence has made a world of difference for her, and it shows.


She knew them, remembered all the things they had done together. But none of it felt connected to her anymore.

This line summed it up perfectly, and I can definitely relate to it, especially in my current state. Looking back at the few years since I graduated from high school, and connecting to the friends I had been so close to then, now we all seem so very different, and it's hard to believe any of that from before ever was. We still are friends, but we can't go back to the way it was then, because all of us have changed so much. It's somewhat sad, but it's a necessary phase that everyone goes through when they grow up and move on with their lives. It really is a good thing, though it doesn't always seem like it, because it is a sign that you are moving forward, and not remaining stagnant in your youth, trying to relive the past. Teresa is moving on to bigger and better things--though she will always love her friends from her past, she has to move on so she can make something of herself.

Another excellent write!

[hazmick]

Greetings Rosa! I have spent what I can only describe as a wonderful day catching up on the months of Teresa I have missed out on. So much has happened in Bravil! New and old characters, Teresa's mental and physical struggles and the finding of a new friend: Bear! So many beautifully written chapters full of vivid character descriptions have made for fabulous reading! I'm now desperate to find out more about Teresa's past as well as wanting to see more of this mighty bear which I absoloutely love. The ongoing romance with the gorgeous Tadrose and the archery tournament are brilliant! I shall wait patiently for more during my short break from the hectic lifestyle of a student.

[Ceidwad]

A beautiful episode which captures the sweetness and innocence of a child. "Why am I an elf?" - we will never know, sadly, but only a child, or maybe a philosopher, would ask that question.

[SubRosa]

Olen: I have about eight scenes planned out of Teresa facing the shadow, which as you guessed, I intend to spread out across the following chapters.


haute ecole rider: While her orphaning is part of Teresa's issues, it is unfortunately only one, small piece. From here on out, her road will only become much more difficult. Thankfully, she does have a healing spirit to help, not to mention another that is a guide for those who walk in dark places.


Grits: Teresa is still curious about her origin as well. Eventually, all will be made clear.


mALX: This was perhaps Teresa's simplest issue to deal with. The following ones only become worse.


Acadian: Turning lemons into lemonade is what facing the shadow is all about.


Burnt Sierra: I got to meet Chris Penczak at a festival a few years ago. He was a very cool guy! I learned quite a bit from him.


Lady Syl: Except for some regional differences, wine, bread, and olive oil are the staples of the Imperial peasant's diet. We will be seeing more of Nerussa in the future. She will play an important role in Teresa's life. Chapter 6 was rather bittersweet for me, because while on one hand it clearly showed Teresa's growth, it also came at the price of outgrowing the Imperial City, and many of her relationships there. It is one of those examples of just what you cited. How people's lives move on to different places.


hazmick: We will be seeing more (unpleasant) snippets of Teresa's past interspersed through the following chapters.


Ceidwad: Teresa still wonders why she was born the way she is. Although she is no So-crates.


Previously on Teresa of the Faint Smile: In our last episode, Teresa took her first step in the long journey of facing her Shadow. Next, the final day of the Tournament of the Archers begins.


Chapter 34.21 - The Tournament Of Archers

Teresa's heart pounded in her chest like a chapel bell, loud enough to drown out the sound of the announcer as he welcomed the crowd to the final day of the tournament. Scanning the bleachers, she saw that not a single seat was empty, not even at the very top. In fact, hundreds of people were standing in the aisles because there was no room to sit.

The Bosmer willed her hands not to shake as she stared down at the turf below her feet. You can do this, she told herself, you have faced much worse. In her mind, she reeled off a litany of deadly encounters: Vilverin, Jensine's shop, Belda, the Green Road south of Lake Rumare, and all the other places she would have died if not for her skill with the bow.

Teresa raised her head and looked around at the other archers who stood on the field with her. Standing next to her was Lum gro-Baroth, still without a shirt. Parwen hovered nearby as well, inspecting the feathers on one of her arrows. Beyond her stood Zerina - the red-haired Dunmer that Teresa had seen qualify the day before. Now Teresa saw that the dark elf carried a bow that was neither an Imperial longbow of yew, or a Valenwood recurve of golden sila. Rather her weapon's stave was made of a curious white substance that appeared to be overlapping bones, or the carapaces of giant insects.

To one side stood Aradroth, clad in black and his body coiled like a spring ready to snap. There was also an olive-skinned Nibenean whose name Teresa did not know, wearing a mithril cuirass and a long skirt. The forester made a mental note to never wear those two things together. It simply looked awful. Chatting with her was an Imperial Forester, a Colovian from his golden hair and crystal blue eyes. He wore leather armor emblazoned with the Imperial dragon, and had a white scarf jauntily draped around his neck.

The sight of his armor made Teresa remember Attius standing on the ridge overlooking Morcant's cottage, looking back down into the valley below. Then she recalled him lying in the trampled wheat fields outside of Bruma, his life stolen by a Daedra. Briefly, Teresa wondered how Morcant was, and if she was in Anvil now? She prayed to Bear that the Witch would find the healing that she desperately needed there.

Then the other archers briefly parted, and through their ranks Teresa saw the final three competitors. Daenlin wore the same hunting garb of leather and fur that he had when Teresa had seen him in the stands during her qualification. His hands were cupped over the top ear of his Valenwood bow, which trailed down to the grass at his feet. Teresa noted that unlike the other recurve bows she had seen, his was decorated with a brace of eagle feathers that were bound below the grip by a leather cord. The champion archer's head was bowed and eyes closed, as if in silent prayer or deep mediation.

At his side was Dame Buffy, also garbed in the same buckskin greaves and boots that she had worn when Teresa qualified. Only now she also wore a beige top with a dark vest. Her composite bow was in her hands as well, and she leaned over to say something to the last archer to make the finals.

Alawen wore the same leather armor that Teresa did. Also like Teresa's, her hair was brown. But unlike hers it was not dyed red. This close, the forester could see that the other woman's eyes were hazel in color, and that her features were very easy on the eyes. The ranger appeared to listen carefully to what Dame Buffy had to say, and smiled shyly in return.

Then the announcer introduced the Count of Bravil, who stood in his box to address the crowd. It did not surprise Teresa that he was a Nibenean, with the jet black hair and olive skin of his race. He was taller than most Imperials though, with broad shoulders and a barrel chest. Yet his stomach swelled in a paunch, and his face looked worn and haggard. He was dressed in blue and gold velvet, and Teresa's eyes quickly fell to the arming sword that rode upon his left hip. What she could see of it - grip, guard, and pommel - was solid black. Unlike ebony, it did not gleam brightly under the morning sun. Instead it seemed to devour the light, reflecting none back to the world around it. It was as if the sword was a rip in the fabric of the world, leading straight to Oblivion.

Teresa did not really listen to what he had to say. According to everyone she had ever spoken to, Count Terentius was a drunk and a wastrel. Given the way he was swaying on his feet, she had no trouble believing them. Apparently he was once a great knight and tournament champion in his own right. But Teresa could plainly see that was in the past. Worse, everyone in the city knew that his son was a skooma addict, and that the Count ignored the drug trade because of that. Ardaline had once even pointed out exactly which building on Riverwalk the skooma dealers used.

The other things Teresa could forgive, but not the skooma. Not after what it had done to Simplicia. She spat on the grass thinking about it, and made a point of looking anywhere but at the Count.

Scanning the crowd, she saw Ardaline, Kud-Ei, and Delphine Jend from the Mages Guild. They were dressed in fine velvet, and even held parasols of delicate lace. Accompanying them were Henantier and Carandial, also dressed to the Nine. Teresa imagined that Kud-Ei must have worked hard to drag those two from their ivory towers of academia!

Moving her eyes, she soon found the Fighters Guild. Teresa smiled faintly to see Aia sitting between Ancondil and Tadrose. Next to them was Vincent, and then Chance, who had a woman beside him that Teresa did not recognize. His latest conquest no doubt. Then there was Storm-Tail, who sat beside Kurz, and next Tavian. Finally Pappy sat with a young Imperial woman who was dressed in lace, and Teresa could see she had one hand clasped in his own. Yet another conquest, Teresa imagined.

Once the pleasantries were over, they got down to the business of shooting. Teresa saw that the scoreboard had been cleared of the names of the qualifiers. Now it bore only those of the ten to make the finals, herself included. She also saw that they had been arranged in the order they would shoot, starting with the highest qualifier to the lowest. At the top was Daenlin's name, with a small, red plaque next to it that signified it was his turn to shoot.

That made the Bravilian master the first on the firing line. The crowd responded with a loud cheer as he stepped up to shoot. He was the reigning champion, and had been for seven years straight. No wonder they liked him, Teresa thought.

The master archer revealed not the slightest hint of trepidation as he readied himself. Then he showed why he was the champion. One arrow after another sprouted from the bullseye as he shot. Only one drifted out of the center dot, to land the second ring away. Like most of the others, Teresa stared in awe.

Then came his protégé, Dame Buffy, Knight of the White Stallion. Like her teacher, she put on an impressive display of archery. Only missing the bullseye twice, but each time placing her errant shots in the first ring from the center. That gave her the same score as her godfather: an eighty eight.

Alawen - the ranger of Anvil County - shot next. As with the first two Bosmer, her arrows seemed to simply grow from the bullseye. Only one strayed beyond it to the nine point ring. Leaving her in the lead with a score of eighty nine out of ninety.

"Dreck!" Lum cursed through wide eyes. "How are we gonna compete against that?"

"Just do your best," Parwen replied coolly.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jun 3 2011, 03:45 AM

[TrisRed]

Great chapter, once again!

Teresa sits anxious as she awaits the start of the final parts of the tournamet.

Your use of imagry is very powerful: I could almost see what Teresa could.

Your attention to detail is amazing.

Well done!

[Grits]

Standing next to her was Lum gro-Baroth, still without a shirt.

This really made me smile!

At least the Count’s opening drone gave Teresa a chance to spot her friends in the crowd. I’m glad Kud-Ei managed to drag Henantier there, or maybe he didn’t need that much coaxing. He certainly owes Teresa!

"Dreck!" Lum cursed through wide eyes. "How are we gonna compete against that?"

"Just do your best," Parwen replied coolly.

I didn’t think about how the rest of the archers would react to knowing they couldn’t win. Interesting. I’m looking forward to seeing Teresa shoot!

[Olen]

You certainly have a way with words. That was absorbing and really sucked me in; such intricate description could have fallen flat but instead it had a narrative almost. Even though three people shot the whole part was fascinating, the different Bravil personalities, who was doing what. The setting has really come to life.

I shan't pick through as I might have as I'm currently stuck with a dying 12" CRT older than I am and will develop a migraine if I do.

[Acadian]

By Mara this was good! What a delightful portrayal of the early portion of the day of finals. There is just so much going on that I'm grateful for Teresa's astute eyes and insights to help add such richness to the event! We have seen the event from the limited perspective of one archer with her own dramas so it is fascinating to see it from the perspective of another - also with her own dramas to deal with.

What a perfect blend of showing the scene and letting Teresa share her fears and concerns with us. It was a treat to see her perspective on the other archers, right down to the understandable observation that a cuirass and long skirt look atrocious together! Solid economy of words as you gave us a delightful rundown of the finalists, right down to our mer in black, coiled like a spring. Pappy and Chance, already wearing trophies on their arms. And our mage ladies complete with lace parasols! I loved it all!

Do I see some sort of foreshadowing in the sinisterly interesting blade riding the hip of Count Bravil? I cheered as Teresa refused to even look at the Count as he spoke.


Nit? 'Once the pleasantries were over, they got down to the business shooting.'
Take a look and see if perhaps you agree that changing the last words to 'business of shooting' would be better? I suspect that might have been what you wanted?

[haute ecole rider]

This chapter is most delightful. Even though we know who won the tourney, what's really important here is Teresa's POV - her thoughts, her musings, her impressions of this wondrous day and of her fellow competitors.

I liked how her impression of Terentius is consistent with so many others', yet Teresa's observation of that inimical sword of his makes me wonder if the man is still dangerous, even with the drink and skooma.

Others have already commented on the depth of description here, so I'll just echo everyone else.

Well done!

[Ceidwad]

Teresa's heart pounded in her chest like a chapel bell

BONG! Nice way to introduce the chapter, by focusing on the pre-match nerves of Teresa.

Great description of the other characters present at the finals, especially Regulus. Your description of him reminded me of King Henry VIII - another (real-life) barrel-chested, bloated individual whose star burned much brighter in his youth than as the years went on.

You tell the other side of the story well. Whereas Acadian tells the story of Buffy, Alawen, and Daenlin in great detail, I hope you will shed some light on the other contestants involved.

[hazmick]

You've really brought this tournament alive and it's not hard to visualise these images when reading, well done. Teresa's disregard of the Count was wonderful, she would clearly prefer to be on a long walk with Bear (or Tadrose ) than at an overcrowded tourney!

[Jacki Dice]

I loved your latest chapters but 34.20 was my favorite. Teresa is one of my favorite characters on this forum because to me she is very easy to relate to. As a mix between my parents' races, I've often looked at them and asked why couldn't I have darker skin and freckles or straight hair or whatever trait I wanted out of them or their side of the family.

[mALX]

I wondered if Teresa realized subconsciously that Buffy had thrown her score deliberately?

Parwen replied coolly.

This sentence tag is so fitting to the Parwen you have shown us here !!

I was surprised by the abrupt summary of the shooting at the end, but the early paragraphs more than made up for that, Great Write !!

[King Coin]

27.1

I Teresa really misread Pappy. He's not the type to screw with you. Why is she surprised he wants to check into her history? With a story like that she's lucky he didn't toss her out on the street!

Well, there was nothing to do but buy new clothes tomorrow, she resolved with a faint smile.

What a hardship. I'm sure she'll manage somehow.

27.2

See Teresa, background check. Even the well cultured orc has to be checked. Pappy is going to be very careful especially after losing almost his entire guild in Bruma. I suspect that is why he's turned so many people away.

27.3

Khajiit even worse than I was…

I wonder who that might be?

Talking to Ancondil, Teresa has learn something of herself, she's a natural alchemist!

Just Ancondil's luck! What an awkward way to find out she's only interested in women. Too bad for him!

27.4

Maybe something velvet this time, she thought, or something with lace…

I like to think about how the story began and where Teresa is now. She was nothing more than a street urchin with only sack cloth to wear. Now she's going to buy velvet and lace. She's come a long way.

I like the description of the city. It's enough like the city in the game to recognize, but expanded and made to more believable proportions.

And here's Delphine's infamous tea!

27.5

"It is a simple mysticism spell: Analyze Alchemy. It was one of the first spells I learned at University. Given all the potions we handle here it is a must."

Very handy spell. Too bad Pappy demanded a more direct test of the potions brewed by Teresa.

Teresa is a very gifted natural alchemist then. I liked that interaction with Ardaline.

27.6

Ardaline and Teresa are so similar in personality, it's so funny seeing them take turns blushing

The Bravil Mages Guild is such a warm place.

27.7

This was delightful little section of just Teresa and Ardaline getting to know each other. Good job.

[SubRosa]

Rihanae: Thank you. This first segment of the finals was mainly just meant to paint the scene, so it was heavy with descriptions.


Grits: Who can resist the shirtless orc? As a shtick goes, it's a pretty good one. So I made the most of it.


Olen: As I mentioned to Rihane, that first segment of the finals was so heavy on the descriptions because it was setting the scene. The rest of the finals segments will be more activity-oriented. I hope you can get a decent monitor soon!


Acadian: Yes indeed, now we see it from another limited perspective. It is too bad we could not have a third author writing the pov of Riveus, Schlera, Zerina, and the Mer in Black. That would cover every angle of the tourney.


haute ecole rider: I do plan to use that sword of the Count's in the future, which is why I shined the spotlight on it now. In fact, the story arc it features in has already started, although it will not become apparent for a while yet.


Ceidwad: I was not thinking of him, but King Henry 8 is indeed perfect for how I wanted to visualize the Count. A once physically great man gone to seed. The rest of the finals in the TF will focus very tightly on Teresa and her guildmates. The previous segment was merely setting the stage for the drama, hence its wider scope.


hazmick: Teresa would definitely rather be taking that long walk with Tadrose.


Jacki Dice: Thank you Jacki, I am glad that my humble archeress was able to inspire that sense of empathy.


mALX: I am sure Teresa is far to wrapped up in her own drama to realize the Buffster's machinations. Besides, she has never seen Buffy shoot before, so has nothing to measure her performance by.

The descriptions of the three archers shooting was rather cursory. Since Acadian is already giving a tight focus on the shooting between Buffy, Alawen, and Daenlin, I did not want to cover the same ground.
Also, as with this chapter overall, bloat is something I have been keenly aware of. This chapter is huge already, I am trying to keep it from becoming a monster. So the shooting will be tightly focused on Teresa and her guild mates.


King Coin: You have Pappy read perfectly. After Bruma, he is being very careful in how he takes on in the future. Hence his brutal entrance exam. He wants to really see what someone is made of before he puts his life in their hands. Teresa is of course, far too wrapped up in her own self-doubts to see that, or why a background check would be necessary for everyone.

Ardaline was a fun character. I like writing her with Teresa. I can see them getting along incredibly well. Unfortunately I just have not had many opportunities to show that since that chapter.


Previously on Teresa of the Faint Smile: Our last episode saw the beginning of the final day of the tournament. After a boring speech by everyone's favorite Count, Teresa was wowed by the nearly flawless display of archery put on by Daenlin, Buffy, and Alawen. Next, she takes her turn on the firing line.


Chapter 34.22 - The Tournament Of Archers

Riveus - the Imperial Forester - came fourth. He waved to the crowd, and Teresa noted that most of those who responded with cheers were female. She imagined that he must be handsome, although she had never been a good judge of that sort of thing in men. Too bad Methredhel was not here, Teresa thought, she would know.

Teresa was relieved to see that unlike the first three archers, Riveus was at least not infallible. Instead his shots were an even mix of eights, nines, and tens. At least there was someone she might stand a chance against!

"Shooting next for the Bravil Fighters Guild, Teresa of the Faint Smile!"

Teresa shook her head as the announcer introduced her, and the red plaque moved down beside her name on the scoreboard. Sweet Mara, would she ever live that name down now? Still, she could not help but allow one of those namesake smiles to escape her lips as she stepped up to the firing line. Pappy had said having a nickname was good. He said it built up a mystique about you, and made it easier for people to remember you.

She wondered how he felt about being called Pappy? or Gramps? Old, she imagined, as the Time Dragon's footsteps weighed heavily upon his race. Yet he did not seem to be perturbed by it. There was no reason for her to be upset at her name either.

She drew an arrow from the bag at her hip and looked to Sinia. The Redguard judge nodded to her, and stepped to one side so Teresa was free to shoot. Just as at practice, the wood elf let out half of her breath as she drew her string part-way to her face. Sighting in on the center of the target down the field, she then used all of her strength to draw the arrow back to her cheek.

Then she loosed, and watched the missile as it spun its way down the field. Tadrose said that the spiral pattern of its fletching gave it that spin, which in turn made it fly truer. One of the benefits of using arrows made by Daenlin, she thought, the reigning champion of archery in Cyrodiil.

The arrow sprouted from the center of the target. A wave of relief washed over Teresa. She had been so afraid that she would miss her first shot, and be the laughingstock of the entire tournament! Restraining the urge to wipe her brow with the back of her hand, Teresa continued her first flight of arrows. She was rewarded with one shot slightly off center and another in the bullseye.

"A score of twenty nine for the first flight." The announcer's voice boomed through the amphitheater, and the crowd cheered and clapped their approval.

Screenshot

That was the easy part though, Teresa thought. Only fifty yards away, with all the time in the world. Now she took a moment to breathe deeply. Then she looked to Sinia, who had produced her hourglass. Teresa nodded that she was ready, and the line judge flipped the glass over in her hand.

Teresa's eyes instantly snapped from the Redguard to the target down the field. Reaching into the bag at her hip, she quickly brought an arrow to her stave and sighted in. A moment later she loosed. Wasting not an instant, she reached for another arrow while her first missile was still in flight. She did not really think about what she was doing. She simply performed the actions drilled into her from countless hours on the practice field. There was nothing but her, the arrows, and the target. She merely put them all together.

"Perfect score!" came the voice of the announcer.

Teresa breathed deeply once more. The quick-fire had been the easiest in the qualifications as well, although she did not know why. Most people seemed to think it was the most difficult. Yet now came the part that she had dreaded since the day she qualified, the long range flight.

She waited while two burly attendants picked up the archery butt and carried it down the field, until the range had doubled. A swarm of butterflies took flight in Teresa's belly. Here we go, the forester thought as Sinia gave her the signal to fire when ready. Time to see what she really had in her.

Taking her time to feel the breeze coming off the bay, Teresa stared down at the target for long moments before setting an arrow to the nock of her bow. She let out some of her breath and drew the string half-way to her cheek. She sighted in on the target, adding height for the range, then a little more for the wind she would be fighting. Compensating for the slight sideways drift of all arrows, she moved her aiming point over a tick. Then she realized that her bow had dipped somewhat in the effort, and readjusted the height of her shot.

Finally she loosed, and stared down the field as the missile sped through the air. She held her breath, and did not release it again until it struck home in the outermost ring of the target. A six, she shook her head. That was no better than her qualifications!

Drawing another arrow, she went through the same process once more, and was again rewarded with the same score, only now planting her arrow at the opposite side of the target. Biting her lip as she made her final shot, she was mortified to see that it barely even struck the top of the target. Outside of the last ring, it scarcely clung to the straw that filled the butt.

A five, she thought. The worst score you can get without completely missing!

"Seventeen," the announcer's voice filled her ears, followed by sighs from the crowd and smattering of polite applause. "Total score: seventy six."

Teresa shook her head and stared at the grass as she walked back to where the other archers waited. She did not even notice when Lum gro-Baroth stepped past her to take his turn on the line.

It was the exact same thing she had shot for her qualifications, Teresa fumed. She was never going to stand a chance shooting like that!

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jun 6 2011, 04:39 PM

[mALX]

The descriptions of the three archers shooting was rather cursory. Since Acadian is already giving a tight focus on the shooting between Buffy, Alawen, and Daenlin, I did not want to cover the same ground.
Also, as with this chapter overall, bloat is something I have been keenly aware of. This chapter is huge already, I am trying to keep it from becoming a monster.

I didn't mean that as a complaint and hope it didn't come across that way. It wasn't at all a disappointment, only a surprise because I've never seen you break into a succinct mode before in years of reading Teresa and your other works.

Your stories are always extremely immersive, the reader is taken away into whatever world you are creating. The sudden change of that section gave the feeling of a horse being reined in abruptly, breaking the immersion.

I re-read the chapter, but avoided reading that section on the second read - Aaaaah !!! Able to close the page sated and got my "Teresa, take me away" moment from it. (IE: Calgon Bath Oil, lol)

I fully understand the need to watch bloat, lol.

***

On to this chapter:

Teresa giving her faint smile as she stepped up - that was a huge touch, as was her musing over how Pappy may feel about his nickname.

Beautiful screen of Teresa !!

Oh, bless Teresa's heart! She can't stop that mind of hers from racing, that probably distracted her focus.

One of your many huge talents in writing, you use the most subtle descriptions to set the stage for the action. They are so unobtrusive that they slide into the reader's subconscious and make it easy to visualize the scene. This chapter was a showcase for your ability - way too short, I could have easily stood another 700 words, lol.

Awesome Write !!!!!!

[haute ecole rider]

I've done enough hobby shooting with a BB rifle (the world's worst weapon) to appreciate your description of the care Teresa took with the long range shots. Yes, windage does matter, especially with a projectile as long and bulky as an arrow. A BB isn't much better - no punch at all. I think Dad and I barely damaged the trunk of the chokecherry tree we hung our paper pie plate targets on. I found BB's in the ground around it years later when I did some landscaping around that tree.

I loved how you reminded us of the location of the tourney with the description of the breeze off the bay. It quite literally put me there! I was reading with bated breath as she loosed that first arrow of the long range flight, and sighed with disappointment when she did as poorly (in her 'pinion) as her qualifications. Still, I doubt I would have hit it at all!

[hazmick]

OH NO! Poor Teresa! She thought too hard for the final three shots and didn't do as well as she'd like, then didn't think at all for the timed shots and gets perfection. There was probably the element of nerves in there somewhere as well (and all those people watching wouldn't have helped, that would almost be as distracting as a naked Tadrose standing there! ) If only there was a bear healing section to the tourney A quick mind is probably better than a trophy anyway.