Teresa of the Faint Smile, Adventures of a Stringy Bosmer Options

[Grits]

Oh no! Shot by accident, or something more sinister? A gripping battle, I was on the edge of my chair. So sad to lose Marius. The Bravil guard is already short on good guys.

Now Teresa needs a new bow, a new cuirass, a new lung, and a new shoulder. Yikes, trolls. I wonder why they attacked so close to the city?

[Olen]

Well new cuirass I suspect I know the source of, bow... hmmm well I suspect I can guess what she wants, but will she get it?

or being able to tell Tadrose how she felt?

Will this, coupled with my suspicion above, be a big enough half brick to get her to say something? Only time will tell though if my guess is correct she'll have plenty time to see Tadrose in the upcoming parts.

More generally, and taking a step back, wow! I didn't see that coming, there's ways to make your characters seem less godlike and throw the reader off balance and you certainly managed that. Just when things were going along nicely a massive spanner in the works to cange everything and keep it fresh before I'd detected any staleness. Excellent bit of writing there (as usual). I didn't expect Marius either. A cliffhanger with an unexpected result.

I'm interested to see how you do healing in TF. Very interested actually.

[haute ecole rider]

What an intense fight! Fast and overwhelming, as such fights usually are (I've fought enough mean dogs to know). Your description of her injuries sound pretty accurate for the most part, though I would expect more internal damage from the shoulder wound if that troll shook her. Still, it was pretty darn good writing!

Oh, she got hit by friendly fire! It was the first thing that crossed my mind as she was limping toward the last troll. *No, you'll just get shot!* Still gotta give Teresa credit for being so determined to kill that fetcher herself.

And I find myself saddened - deeply so - by the death of Marius. It was a shock, like Olen said.

Now I wonder why trolls are coming so close to the city walls?

[Acadian]

Wow. Just wow. I could visualize every bloody, fiery painful moment!

'Teresa thought of running again, but that would leave Marius alone in hand-to-hand combat against both trolls. She could not allow that to happen.'
Exactly. I find fights where one is tied to an ally (or precious black mare) to be the most dangerous. Otherwise, our characters could run (or disappear in Buffy's case). It does show us what Teresa is made of though - and she is of impressive stuff indeed. Very important passage.

That was certainly some fine bow and dagger work by Teresa. Blocking cost her bow but saved her life. And I'm so glad she remembered Pappy's dagger lessons!

'Then a pigskin shoe planted itself in front of Teresa's face, and its twin followed a moment later.'
This was simply brilliant in helping us visualize Teresa's perspective with perfect clarity. A superb little passage.

Unless I'm mistaken, this may be Teresa's first near death lights out experience. Not surprisingly, her thoughts turn to Simplica and Tadrose. Just as her refusal to abandon Marius, this again shows us Teresa's character and priorities.

In such a short time, you have made us care enough for Marius that his loss is painful. That is some fine development of a supporting character given how little we knew of him!

I too am curious about the high angle arrows. Especially the second one. From the city walls or towers perhaps?

Well, whereever we were headed is now on hold for some serious healing and fixing.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Aug 9 2011, 01:17 AM

[King Coin]

Chapter 34.1
Woohoo! TOA!

Teresa has been dwelling on Tadrose quite a bit in this chapter so far. I think she’s going to find out how receptive Tadrose is pretty soon.

That is when she noticed that the rain had stopped. The clouds opened, and the rays of Magnus streamed forth to create a rainbow in the sky above the surface of the water. With more than a faint smile, the wood elf stepped into the lake and began to swim.
Nice imagery

Chapter 34.2
Oh those pesky guards getting all worked up over citizens swimming into the city or jumping off of bridges. That’s not questionable behavior at all. lol.

I had a feeling when this section started that the tournament wasn’t going to be Teresa’s idea, BUT not that Pappy had her signed up when she wasn’t even in town! Oh Teresa’s reaction is just great! My head would swim too that’s for sure if I were in her position!

Teresa’s been watching Tadrose a bit too closely for it to go unnoticed I’d say. I wonder about the subject of this conversation.

Chapter 34.3
Tadrose tried to put some confidence in Teresa, but Teresa’s mind wasn’t on the tournament.

Chapter 34.4
Meeting a contestant. Neat description of Valenwood.
Typical of Teresa. She’s as bad as a teenage boy!:lol:

[Destri Melarg]

37.1

Teresa displays an excellent tactical sense in her handling of the trolls, at least until she fell down. All those training sessions bear fruit once again. I thought the best part of this chapter was the common sense she showed in knowing when to turn tail and get the ‘blivion out of there. I guess Pappy was right when he told her that she had more sense than most.

37.2

The second part of her fight against the trolls more than lived up to the promise of the first part. The description of what it is to be bitten by a troll was vivid and spot on. I wondered if she would remember her capacity to cast spells in her adrenaline laced panic. I was so glad when she started to pan sear that troll that I started cheering at my screen.

*Note to self: Massive cheering in earshot of others is NOT recommended.*

Then you had to kill the mood by showing Marius’ body to me. What the hell happened??? Usually a city guard is more than a match for any troll one on one. If this was your way of showing us that the trolls in the TF are no joke, then congratulations . . . it is duly noted.

Now I am left asking what if. What if Teresa had taken Marius’ warning more seriously and taken another path? What if she had decided to walk around the stables to go visit Silverbridge? I know that these questions will plague Teresa when she finally regains consciousness, but none of that will do Marius any good.

What are the lessons learned here, Teresa? Potions sitting in the bag don’t do a damn bit of good! And I think it’s high time you looked into ON TARGET spells . . . and maybe a good shield!

[SubRosa]

Grits: The reason for those trolls being so close to the city is part of a story arc I began several chapters ago, and has been slowly building. It will take a while, but what is going on will eventually be clear.


Olen: I am glad this all came as a shock. I was hoping this chapter would be a powerful one.


haute ecole rider: I am glad you saw that last arrow coming. I was hoping to foreshadow it when I showed the troll being shot by an arrow coming from the direction of the walls.


Acadian: Teresa came close to being killed during the Oblivion Crisis in Jensine's shop, but not this close! This is indeed the first time she has been hurt so badly she lost consciousness.

Now you see why I did not want to use Gladius, Gaius, or Caccian rather than Marius! I have been planning this ever since I introduced the character, way back when Teresa first walked into Bravil and saw him standing guard at the bridge.


King Coin: Well, Teresa is a teenage girl after all! She turns 19 in a few months. So her hormones are definitely often in charge!


Destri Melarg: I did want trolls to seem like a real threat. But if you are low level and lack magic items, they still are in the game. One of them nearly killed my latest character yesterday, who was only level 6, and had no magic weapons or armor.

More than that though, Marius' death will fuel some rather unhappy character development for Teresa. And it is also meant to show that in the TF, good people are not immune from having very bad things happen to them. We haven't seen one of the good guys die since Bruma.

This event was actually one of the very few that happened to me in the game. The only major difference was that there was only 1 troll in the game, and Teresa did not get shot by the city guard at the end. But it did kill the guard at the front gate, and chase Antoine away as well.


Previously On Teresa of the Faint Smile: In our last episode Teresa was badly mauled by a troll, and then shot by the city guard (perhaps by accident? perhaps on purpose?). Her guardsman friend Marius Helvius was killed in the battle as well, and Teresa lost consciousness as another guard filled her vision. Next up, we find Tadrose Helas having lunch, oblivious to the life or death struggle that has just taken place.


Chapter 37.3 – Redemption

Tadrose smoothed down the back of her skirt and sat down. Leaning back against the planks of the wooden bench, she lifted one of her legs and draped it over the other at the knee. Reaching into the small bag she had brought with her, the dark elf drew forth one of Nilawen's wraps. Taking a bite of the juicy chicken shawarma within, she savored the spicy taste of the Redguard-styled pita sandwich.

The shouts of children brought her head up. She stared across Lady Square to the pack of youngsters that raced around the statue of the Lucky Old Lady. They were playing a game of Breton Bulldogs, and a tow-headed Nord appeared to be the first dog in the center of the square. As Tadrose watched, the other children all ran past him to the opposite side of the square. Yet the Nord was able to tag a slow Breton during the race, who then joined him as the second bulldog.

As always, her eyes fell upon one of the three Dunmer girls in the group. Tadrose watched with rapt attention as the ten-year old laughed and raced with the others. A smile as faint as any of Teresa's graced the armorer's lips, and she felt her heart fill with a warmth that was only matched by the deep sense of longing that always accompanied it.

All the others might know that little girl as Seryne, and indeed, she only knew herself by that name. But she would always be Sere to Tadrose. She would always be her daughter of love and peace.

But Sere was a name for another time, and another world, Tadrose thought. Along with names like Tyrela, and Indoril. They had no place here, thank Mara. At least in Bravil her baby girl would grow up never knowing the murderous politics of Morrowind's Great Houses. She could be an ordinary girl, and grow up to lead a quiet life. Hopefully it would be filled with a love of her own, and a family to surround her.

The pounding of feet and jingle of steel rings pulled Tadrose's eyes from the children. Looking back along Lady Street, she saw a city guardsman racing in her direction. The tall Nibenean's shield had been discarded, and he carried a woman cradled in his arms. She wore brown leather armor that had been torn to shreds at one shoulder, as were the flesh and bone underneath. The green and brown feathers of a city guard arrow sprouted from the woman's stomach, and the Nibenean was forced to hold her awkwardly, lest the missile press against his own body. There was blood everywhere, on the woman, the guardsman, and in a trail behind him.

It was not the torn armor, blood, or arrow that made Tadrose's heart lurch however. It was the hair of the injured woman. For it was a brilliant shade of red. The kind that only came from henna.

Teresa!

The shawarma wrap fell from her nerveless fingers as Tadrose leapt from the bench. She thanked Mara that she was wearing a short skirt as she sped after the guardsman. Those long gowns the Imperials loved so much were impossible to run in. The crowds along the street parted for the guardsman and his charge, and she quickly closed the gap between them. She was about to call out to the soldier, when she saw the towering spire of the Benevolence of Mara before them.

He's taking her to the chapel for healing, Tadrose realized. Once again she thanked the goddess. She came alongside of the pair and got her first good look at the injured woman's face. It was indeed Teresa. Her eyes were shut, and Tadrose prayed that she was only unconscious, and not worse.

Please Mara - Tadrose fought the tears from her eyes - do not let them take her away as well.

As much as she wanted to reach out and pull the wood elf from the guardsman's arms, Tadrose steeled herself not to. While the woman inside of her might cry out to touch Teresa for what might be the last time, the fighter in her knew better than to interfere. If anything, that would only injure Teresa more.

Instead she ground her teeth together and set her eyes ahead. Focus on what you have to do, Tadrose told herself, precious little as that was. Putting all of her energy into her legs, she raced ahead of the Nibenean and his charge. Taking the chapel steps two at a time, she bounded to the massive oak doors at the entrance and pulled them apart.

The guardsman clanked through the open doors a moment later. Tadrose followed him into the soft light within the basilica. To either side was a row of columns, while directly ahead lay the apse. A half dome rose up high there, inset with a pebble mosaic of the Mother Goddess in the classic pose of her holding two cords knotted together. Beneath lay the great hexagonal altar, draped in red velvet, and holding a golden chalice.

Men and women of all races could be found within the chapel, dressed in everything from shining brocade to threadbare flax. All turned to stare at the dramatic entrance, and many faces blossomed with the same horror that Tadrose fought within herself.

"Great Mother!" a voice rang out from within one of the arcades. A moment later a buxom Nord wearing a worn linen dress appeared after it. Sparing only the quickest of glances at the newcomers, she raced away down one aisle, waving a hand for them to follow. "Quickly, to the infirmary!"

Olava, Tadrose thought as she fell into line after the guardsman. Thank Mara it was her. The only better healer in the benevolence was Marz. Now if only the Argonian was there as well, Teresa might still have a chance…

Olava led them from the main hall to a long, narrow chamber that nearly ran the length of the basilica. A line of windows filled the room with sunlight and fresh, cool air. Between each aperture was a bed, most of which were empty. A quick glance revealed an orc with his chest bandaged, a sleeping Khajiit, and a Nord holding up his foot for a seated Argonian.

But Olava did not motion them to the beds of the ward. Instead she ushered them into a smaller side chamber that was lit by brilliant glowstones. There the guardsman laid Teresa down upon a table in the center of the room and stepped back. There were several smaller tables and cupboards around the walls of the room, containing things such as basins of water, potion bottles, bandages, shears, and knives.

Olava was beside the injured wood elf a moment later, and pressed both of her hands upon Teresa's cheeks. Closing her eyes, the living saint breathed deeply in and out. A white glow sprang from her fingers and spread across not only her body, but Teresa's as well.

"Come on Teresa, breathe with me," Tadrose heard the Nord priestess murmur. "In and out, you can do it."

The forester's torso rose sharply toward the ceiling, and the sound of her gasping for breath filled the room. Olava moved one hand down over Teresa's chest, and as if just from her touch, it settled into a gentle rhythm of inhalation and exhalation.

Tadrose bit her lip, and instantly thought of all the times she had seen Teresa do exactly the same thing. She was always so beautiful when she did that, the armorer thought. So innocent and awkward, and unbelievably captivating.

Another priestess darted into the room, a young Colovian wearing the white robes of the goddess. "Bring Marz," Olava instantly told the newcomer. As the girl darted back out the door, the living saint turned to Tadrose and the guardsman. "You two have to leave. You'll only get in the way. Don't you worry, she's breathing well now."

Tadrose knew she should do as the healer bade her. Yet her feet had become stones set into the floor. All she could see was Teresa, her ivory skin now splashed crimson. It was not until a scaled hand laid itself upon her shoulder, and an Argonian face interposed itself between her and the wood elf, that Tadrose was able to tear herself away.

"Go now," Marz said softly, in that raspy voice of all the lizard folk. "You have done your part. Now let us do ours. We will take good care of your friend."

Tadrose stumbled back into the ward. She realized that her face was wet, and raised her fingers to find tears streaking her cheeks. Furiously wiping them away, she forced her vice-commander's face across her features. She would not show her feelings to anyone else, she vowed. She was better than that, stronger than that. Yet inside, her heart was a bottomless pit.

Please Mother Mara, she prayed, don't let it be like Bruma. Not again, not with Teresa.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Aug 12 2011, 01:31 AM

[haute ecole rider]

Absolutely awesome!

When I'm writing from a single POV, I've always struggled with how to write events that occur beyond the protagonist's ken. When my characters are disabled, unconscious, or otherwise out of the storyline temporarily, how to continue narrating the events? When the entire story is a single POV, I've hated to introduce a second POV. But you've already done so with Simplicia and (be still, my beating heart!) Volsinius.It's about high time you did it for Tadrose, and what a time to do it in!

It's great to see some things revealed about Tadrose. She has a child, yet she can't be that child's mother. She suffered while in Morrowind, and came to Cyrodiil to escape the intrigue there. It adds some serious depth to an already deep character. That she has feelings of some sort for Teresa is of no surprise. Just how deep those feelings go, and which way they run, remain to be seen.

The adrenaline and emotions here are just exciting and enthralling as the troll combat in just the last two posts. Tadrose really showed her colors as a fighter, opening the doors for the guardsman carrying Teresa.

Ahh, the guardsman. Wonder who he is? Is he one of the remaining 'good' guardsmen left in Bravil? Or one of the corrupt ones? Hmm . . .

[Olen]

Another powerful part in what's becoming a defining chapter. Powerful indeed.

The change of PoV worked well. I had wondered if we would have Teresa wake up a time later, but given the freedom the medium of posting online offers I should have known you'd take every bit of this oppertunity. The glimpse of Tadrose's history worked well without revealing much. We knew she's left Morrowind with no desire to return, and the rather exciting politics there seemed a likely reason. But this daughter... she could be Tadrose's, she's the right age if Tadrose had fled with her on the way or newborn. But then what made her give her up? Much more depth and mystery revealed.

The surprise was very well written and the subsequent section tight and fast paced. It certainly drew me in. The section changes and freshens the way it's written with the different PoV and less well known character in much the same way its events have shaken the plot.

As for whether Tadrose feels anything. The answer is yes. I think those feelings run towards romance, but I'm not sure she realises it. Why could be a whole other question.

You've certainly thckened the plot in this chapter, it's like adding narrative cornflour.

[Acadian]

Old business: Ah, I see now. As much as I will miss Marius, I thank you for sparing Gladius, Gaius and Caccian - for they still have chores to do in BF!


And now, a masterfully done POV change. I agree that it was very effective here and what better vessel to report events during Teresa's unconsciousness than Tadrose?

You painted a wonderfully serene yet mysterious picture as Tadrose contemplated her own daughter. Then it was shattered as the nature of what the guardsman carried dawned on Tadrose.

I'm so glad that Olava and Marz were in the chapel!

'Tadrose bit her lip, and instantly thought of all the times she had seen Teresa do exactly the same thing. She was always so beautiful when she did that, the armorer thought. So innocent and awkward, and unbelievably captivating.'
I'm sure you had more than a faint smile on your face as you wrote this! And so we come full circle as Tadrose echoes the same thoughts that Nerussa did so long ago during a beautiful Weye morning. You have also removed 90% of my doubt regarding Tadrose's feeling for Teresa. The 10% that remains stems partially from the Dunmer's unknown age. For all we know, her affection for the young wood elf could be maternal - although, like Teresa, I would like to believe Tadrose's interest involves areas well below her heart. The other concern I have is that Tadrose may be paralyzed by a fear of believing anything she loves will be lost (daughter, guild mates at Bruma, perhaps other lost loves?).

Nit: "Come on Teresa, breathe with me," Tadrose heart the Nord priestess murmur. "In and out, you can do it."
You'll want to replace 'heart' with 'heard' here of course.

[Grits]

Oh, I love how you showed us this episode through Tadrose’s smoldering eyes! Her reluctance to pounce on Teresa is now forgivable. It seems that she has sacrificed her old life for her child’s safety, and that makes me wonder if her past issues might somehow endanger Teresa. Plus she would have to decide what to say about Sere, or decide to not tell/lie about her. Then there’s the whole opening her heart after Bruma issue.

I do wonder a little about the age difference between Tadrose and Teresa, and between Teresa and Sere. Nineteen is nearly twice the age of Tadrose’s daughter, but is also only nine years older, not long in elf years. Then again, if Tadrose has not raised a child, nineteen might not seem so young to her. I think letting us know some things about Tadrose that Teresa doesn’t know will add a delicious layer to their interactions.

A powerful and very moving episode.

[Destri Melarg]

Turns out that the ton of bricks wasn’t needed. All it took was a troll and an arrow! I agree with what everyone else said about the change in POV. I was also surprised to hear of this daughter that Tadrose watches with such longing. To be in the constant vicinity of a cherished child that you cannot even acknowledge must be the very heart of torture. I can only imagine the depths of strength and will that keep her from shouting the truth from the spire of Mara’s Chapel. I get the impression that she is protecting Seryne. Given what we know about the Dunmer Great Houses and their willingness to employ the Morag Tong for any number of offenses, it isn’t hard to read between the lines.

I find myself breathing easier after this chapter. With both Olava and Marz in the room, Teresa couldn’t be in better hands.

[D.Foxy]

If you think that life's predictable
With storylines as straight as can be
You mistake life with fable
Or the trunk of a tall tree

If you think that love's unavailable
And destiny's passed you - See,
You mistake love's dark sable
which hides what's in store for thee

Life runs in directions you'll not foresee
Love comes, ready or not, for thee
Even while death life nearly does miss
Even there, you may be awakened with a kiss -

So now wake to life and love, sweet miss
And feel the unforgettable texture of this kiss
And hear the chuckle of Cupid's surprise
For each day's a mystery after sun doth rise.

[SubRosa]

haute ecole rider: I was originally going to write this entire chapter from the pov of Teresa, but once I started writing the middle scenes, I realized they would work better from the pov of Tadrose. I have been planning to write something from her pov for some time now. It was just a question of what. So this was perfect. As you said, it was about time.

One of the reasons I do not write first person is that you cannot change pov characters. You are stuck with the one, and that is it. I saw a piece over at the Beth forums where someone tried telling a first person story from multiple povs, but it was very confusing, even with the pov character's name at the start of every scene.

Of course the advantage of writing first person is that you can use the word "I", which gives you a much greater amount of intimacy with your character. I have spent a lot of time wrestling with trying to bring a similar level of intimacy to my characters with the limitation of third person pov.


Olen: There will be more about Tadrose's daughter eventually, and why she left Morrowind. It will probably all have to come from her own thoughts, like in the last segment, because I doubt she would even tell any of it to Teresa, let alone anyone else. That was one of my prime reasons for switching to Tadrose's pov here. The other of course being that I wanted to show Teresa from an outsider's pov while she was unconscious and makes her initial recovery (which is next).


Acadian: You said a long time ago that I said that if you are going to change pov characters, make it worthwhile. I cannot remember if I really did say it, but I am happy to take the credit anyway, because I do agree! This was one of those times it was definitely worth it, given the things can only come out from Tadrose's thoughts.

Tadrose's age is a good point you bring up. It is something I wrestled with initially, because I did not want her to be too old, yet still old enough to have a half-grown child. She was born on the 9th of Hearth Fire (September) 3E404, that makes her just turned 29. Teresa herself will turn 19 in Evening Star (December).

Oh, and we will learn the identity of Teresa' saviour this coming episode.

Grits: Like I said to Acadian, the age differences is something I spent a lot of time working on. I was originally going to make Tadrose even younger, around 26, but after further reflection a decade does not seem like much for elves. After all, a 20 year old elf and an 80 year old probably look exactly the same. I think to them the levels of maturity individuals possess would be the more important thing. Thanks to Teresa's life on the street, maturity has always been something she had had no shortage of, in spite of her inexperience with the world.


Destri Melarg: Don't put those bricks down just yet! The following episode will show that someone else might need them. I agree that it must be brutal for Tadrose to stand by while someone else raises her daughter. Her only consolation is that her child is truly safer, and better off that way. Plus she has had ten years to come to terms with it. In the game other NPCs remark that Tadrose is a serious workaholic, working relentlessly for her guild. I sat down to try to think of what would make her turn to work to escape from life, and this just sprang up.

You are not far off the mark in thinking of the Tong. Although in Tadrose's case it was being handled in the House itself. This was actually partially inspired by a movie I saw set in Victorian England, where a poor wetnurse switched her daughter with that of a wealthy socialite. Her motivation being so that her daughter would not grow up in the slums, with no future.


D.Foxy: Thank you Fox. We will see next episode if Teresa awakes with a kiss or not.


Previously on Teresa of the Faint Smile: Our last episode saw a switch to the point of view of Tadrose Helas, who watched the girl who is secretly her daughter play with the other children while having lunch. Her meal was interrupted by a city guardsman rushing a critically wounded Teresa to the Benevolence of Mara, and he led the way for him into the chapel, where Olava the Fair and Marz took charge of healing out wounded forester. Next we remain in Tadrose's pov as Teresa awakes. This episode it a little longer than I would like, but there was no good place to break it into equal pieces.


Chapter 37.4 – Redemption

"Tadrose?"

The vice-commander's eyes sprang open at the sound of Teresa's voice. Failing to stifle the yawn that escaped from her lips, the Dunmer could not keep from stretching her limbs as well. How long had she been asleep? Too long, if the soreness in her neck had anything to say about it. Straightening up in her chair, Tadrose turned to look at the wood elf laying in the bed beside her.

Teresa's emerald green eyes were open now, and she turned her head one way and another as she took in the ward room. A moment later the forester rose to a sitting position, causing the sheet that had covered her to fall into her lap. Her skin was bare in the morning air, exposing not only her small breasts, but firm muscle as well. There did not seem to be an ounce of fat upon the wood elf's frame. Her cheeks were gaunt, and the lines of her ribs were plainly visible. Her left shoulder was completely encircled by angry red scars, and a large, round scar now graced her right breast as well.

But at least she was not only awake, Tadrose thought, but moving. That was so much better than how she had lain silent and still for the last day, skin as cold and white as snow.

"Teresa!" Tadrose smiled. "I am sorry, I must have nodded off. How are you feeling?"

"Tired, and hungry," the wood elf replied. Her words were a dull monotone, and her eyes were as barren of feeling as a desert. She looked down at her naked frame, eyes lingering over the new scars. Fingers tracing the scars that covered her shoulder, she cautiously moved her arm.

Tadrose was relieved to see that her left arm appeared as healthy as ever, as the forester turned it this way and that. She was just as thankful to see not a trace of pain on the other elf's features. In fact, she saw no emotion in Teresa at all. Not even embarrassment from her nakedness.

"Marius?" Teresa asked, and now Tadrose wondered if she detected a rasp in the Bosmer's voice.

"He was beyond aid." The armorer shook her head slowly and stared at the floorboards. Then she lifted her eyes back to Teresa's and forced a smile to her lips. "You were very lucky yourself. If Gaius Prentus had not carried you here as quickly as he did, you would not have made it either."

"Maybe I shouldn't have…" Teresa mumbled. She stared down at her lap and sighed, and Tadrose felt her heart ache.

"Don't say things like that." Tadrose rose to her feet, and could not help but to momentarily reach out to touch the wood elf's fiery red hair. After realizing what she had done, she let her hands fall, and instead gathered the sheet and pulled it up over Teresa's chest.

She knew how close Teresa and Ancondil were. The last thing she wanted was to do was get in the way. They made an excellent couple after all, even if they kept it very discreet. Tadrose could understand the latter. Given the juvenile nature of some of the other guild members, their relationship would doubtlessly become the fodder for a great deal of jokes and teasing.

"How is our fighter today?" The harsh, rasping words caused both women to look up. Standing before them was an Argonian wearing the white robes of a priestess of Mara. Most of her scales were a soft shade of brown, that brightened to orange as they rose along her face, and finally created lines of gold that swept back over the top of her skull. Her only adornments were a handful of golden hoops that fell from her long, pointed ears. As with all Argonians, her face was an expressionless mask. "I am Marz. I am one of the priestesses who healed you."

"I have to use the pot," Teresa said bluntly, "and soon."

The priestesses ears lifted ever so slightly, but otherwise she showed no reaction to the wood elf's plain-spoken response. "That is normal. You have been unconscious since you were brought in yesterday. I will have one of our priestesses bring a pan for you to use shortly. If you can wait until then, I would like to look at you."

Before Teresa could answer, the Argonian stepped to the other side of the bed, and slid the sheet down from the wood elf's shoulder. "Can you move your arm?" she asked. "Does it cause you any pain?"

"No," Teresa said plainly as she lifted her left arm and twisted it one way and another. "It feels fine."

"Excellent," Marz said. "You were very lucky. If you had not been wearing your armor, your arm and shoulder would have been torn off. As it was, you suffered massive damage to your bones, muscles, and ligaments. Olava and I were not sure if we would be able to restore the full range of motion to your arm, if any at all."

Teresa said nothing. She simply stared at the palm of her left hand. Tadrose wondered what she might be thinking? Was it about how near she had come to being maimed? Or was it about Marius Helvius?

Marz continued with her examination, and stepped behind Teresa. "Breathe in deeply for me, then out again," she said, laying one ear on the elf's back.

Teresa did so, and Marz stepped back a moment later, nodding to herself.

"How long will she need to stay here," Tadrose asked.

"Well, she appears to have recovered very quickly." Marz said, looking first to Tadrose, then Teresa. "The direct harm has all been healed magically. However, you lost a great deal of blood, much of it into your lung. It appears we have drained the latter successfully though. Still, it will take your body some time to replace it. The same with your body's other nutrients."

"Other nutrients?" Teresa asked.

"Like natural healing, magical healing requires energy," the priestess explained. "Most of this is provided by the spell, but some must come from the injured person. You will note that you have lost nearly all of your body fat. Your tissues needed the energy stored within to regenerate. Now you will have to rebuild that. It is very important for you to do so. Your body is in a very precarious state right now."

"Drink a great deal of water and juice in the coming days, that will help replace the volume of blood you lost. Still, it will take weeks before your blood returns to its normal potency. During that time I also want to you eat more. Meat, bread, raisins, spinach, beans, and eggs will all help. Most of all rest. No exercising, and no fighting! If you become dizzy, just lie down for a while. Your body has been through a great deal, and will need time to recover."

"We will make sure she takes it slowly," Tadrose insisted, "and I am sure Gaius can find a way to put some more meat on her."

"I know you will," Marz said, looking from one elf to the other. "In that case, I see no reason for you to remain."

"Thank you Marz," Teresa said. "For all that you have done. How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing at all," the Argonian replied. "As I am sure you recall, your guild does a great deal for our temple, so our assistance is free of charge. Although perhaps you might start coming to services on Sundas? Your vice-commander might enjoy not being the only member of your guild to do so."

Tadrose saw Teresa nod, and wondered what the wood elf was thinking. She had never known the other elf to show any interest in coming to the temple. Some even said that she was a Witch. The Dunmer never really saw what the difference was between the two, although the Imperials certainly did. Yet in many ways, she knew that Teresa was an Imperial at heart, thanks to her upbringing.

Tadrose made herself useful, and produced an extra set of clothing that she had brought for Teresa from the guild hall the night before. In the meantime the wood elf availed herself of a chamber pot, and then dressed with Tadrose's help. As the Dunmer's eyes lingered over the archer's too-lean frame, she had to fight the urge to do more than help her with her clothing.

Goddess, how strange it was to feel so for another after so many years! It had not been since Morrowind, when she had been Teresa's age. But she had been younger then, and foolish enough to let her feelings rule her body. Balen Dres had taught her the folly of that. Had that been only a decade ago? Sometimes it felt like a lifetime had passed since she had lived in Mournhold.

But Teresa was more an Imperial than an elf in any case, Tadrose told herself silently. She would not be interested in other women. Especially not considering her relationship with Ancondil. It was difficult to miss the amount of time she spent alone with the Orismer in his room, or that she had cooked meals for him when he returned to the guild hall late due to contracts. Then there were all the plays they had seen at The Globe together. Teresa had invited her as well, but it had never felt right to get in the way of the wood elf and orc. They obviously had a good relationship, and she did not want to cheat them out of any of their moments together.

So it was with a heart steeled against Teresa's charms that Tadrose led the other woman through the temple and into the streets of Bravil. She tried to make small talk with the forester, telling her how many people had come to visit her while she had been unconscious. Besides Ancondil and the other fighters, it seemed half the Mages Guild had visited as well, most notably Kud-Ei, Henantier, and Ardaline. Then there had been Ungarion from A Warlock's Luck, Gaius Prentus of the city guard, and an old man from Silverbridge named Decimus. Even the Lady Scaurus had just happened to appear in the temple and find her way to Teresa's bedside. Purely by coincidence of course.

Yet Teresa said nothing as Tadrose spoke. She simply stared directly ahead, eyes as empty as those of a doll. Not even Aia - who was waiting for the pair on the steps of the temple - could cheer her up. The three of them walked to the guild hall, and at Tadrose's suggestion they stopped at a Khajiit street vendor to eat hard tortilla shells piled high with refried beans and green vegetables.

Naturally Aia would not accompany them into the hall, in spite of Tadrose's invitation. She knew how much Teresa liked the beggar, and had hoped the aging Imperial would join them. Yet Aia clearly had a strange quirk about entering buildings, as Tadrose had never even seen her in one.

Teresa's return to the hall brought more fussing, with Ancondil's emerald frame the first of several to wrap themselves around the wood elf in a warm embrace. As always, Tadrose did her best to ignore the pang that cut through her heart whenever she saw the two of them together. She had no right to feel jealous after all, they had every right to be happy together.

In spite of the attention, or perhaps because of it, Teresa did not remain in the sitting room with the others for long. After only a few moments she walked out with nary a word, and ascended the steps to the second floor.

Tadrose traded a long look with Gaius. Clearly, he had seen the same thing in Teresa that she had. After Bruma, they had both possessed that same empty, unfocused look in their eyes that the forester now had. Should she leave Teresa be? Tadrose wondered, or should she follow?

Tadrose found herself biting her lip. That only reminded her of Teresa, and without further thought, she also stepped from the room and made her way up the stairs. The second floor of the guild hall was lined with the doors of the fighter's individual sleeping chambers. While in the past few months a sense of raucous life had returned to the hallway, at the moment it felt just as lonely and dead as the day she had returned from Bruma.

Tadrose stopped at Teresa's door. A lifetime ago this had been Seridwe's room. As she knocked gently upon the door frame, the vice-commander could picture the high elf in her mind. Tall and slender, Seridwe had possessed a striking heart-shaped face and always the most impeccably styled blond hair. Tadrose half-expected the Altmer to answer as the unlatched door slowly glided open under her fingers. The armorer found Teresa sitting motionless on her bed, staring out the window, and imagined that she was not the only one seeing ghosts.

Like all of their quarters, Teresa's bedroom bore a simple rattan bed, along with an armoire, dresser, and a dressing table with a mirror. An arming rack against one wall held her leather armor, with the exception of her cuirass. Unlike most of the other rooms however, Teresa's was filled with potted plants. Short-stemmed aloe vera, purple cylamen, tall green snake plant, ivory sacred lotus, and soft blue flax all combined to form a miniature forest. A low case of cherrywood held numerous books, ranging in from subjects such as Arimer history and alchemy, to Juno Austenius' works and all five volumes of the unauthorized biography of Barenziah. Upon one wall hung an oil painting showing a breath-taking view of the Larsius river with the mountains in the background. Upon another was a portrait of Teresa and several of the other guild archers who had competed in the Tournament of Archers: Kurz, Lum, and Parwen.

"Reman for your thoughts," Tadrose said quietly, shutting the door behind her.

Teresa said nothing. The wood elf did not even look at her.

Tadrose sighed. It was worse than she had thought. Before she knew it, the armorer found herself sitting on the bed next to the archer. Laying one soft hand upon the younger woman's leg, the Dunmer studied her face intently.

"Talk to me Teresa," she finally said.

But the wood elf only shook her head, and continued to look away. Tadrose sighed. You could lead a guar to water, but you could not make it drink. She would just have to wait until the archer was ready to reach out to another person, and try to be there.

The vice-commander rose and stepped to the door. She had opened it and was stepping through when Teresa's voice stopped her.

"Did you ever make a mistake, that you just cannot make right?"

Tadrose stopped and shut the door in front of her. Turning around, she found that Teresa was now looking back at her.

"Yes," Tadrose said. She thought of Sere, who would never know who her true mother was, let alone her real name. "Yes I have. Did you make a mistake?"

"Marius is dead because of me." Teresa stared down at her hands.

"No," Tadrose was across the room in an instant. Taking the wood elf's pale fingers in her own, she caressed them gently. "That is not true Teresa. It is not your fault."

"Isn't it?" the wood elf's green eyes looked up at Tadrose. Where they were usually bright emerald sparks, now they were as dark and shadowed as the slopes of Red Mountain. "I led the trolls right to him. If I hadn't done that, if I hadn't ran away, he'd still be alive."

"Teresa, you did the right thing by withdrawing to the main gate." Tadrose sat down on the bed beside the forester once more. "In fact, that was a very smart decision on your part."

"Not for Marius," Teresa murmured.

"It is not your fault he was killed," Tadrose sighed. "He never should have been standing guard there alone. At any other city there are two fighters outside the main gate, two more just inside, and more within the gatehouse. This Count is too cheap to hire the men the city needs to protect it. That is why Marius is dead. Mara's blood, there wouldn't even be trolls right next to the city walls if they were doing their job! At any other city, the guard would be patrolling the area for at least a day's ride in all directions. This never should have happened, not anywhere. "

"I should have just stood my ground," Teresa said, as if she had not heard a word. "But I ran, like a coward. He was a good man Tadrose, and now he's dead because I was too afraid to fight."

"You are not a coward Teresa." Tadrose tapped one finger against the wood elf's forehead. "You are one of the bravest people I have ever met. Not many people could have done the things you have. Come up from the streets, compete in the tournament, and stand up for what is right like you do. How many people do you know that heal bears, or fight packs of smugglers? How many call out the city guard for being corrupt? How many willingly go into those Arimer sites, or wander the forest alone?"

"You are just saying that to try to make me feel better."

"I am saying it because it is true," Tadrose insisted. "What if you had not retreated to the city gate? Those four trolls would have killed you. What then? Do you think they would have just vanished into thin air? No, they would have gone west to Silverbridge. How many farmers do you think they would have killed? Ten, or fifty, or all of them? They cannot fight monsters like that. Or the trolls would have gone east, just like you did. They would have killed Marius just the same, and everyone in the stable to boot. I know you do not want to see it right now, but the fact is that what you did saved lives."

"Not Marius'."

"No, not his," Tadrose sighed. "Teresa, people die. That is just reality. We do as much as we can to prevent it, but we are not gods. We do not hold the fates of every living being in our hands. By Oblivion's fires, not even the gods can do that."

"You lived Teresa," Tadrose went on. "He did not. You are going to have to learn to forgive yourself for that."

"How?" Teresa nearly shouted, her eyes now watery with restrained tears. "Every time I close my eyes, I see his dead face staring back at me! I see the Emperor's. I see all those people from Jensine's shop. Everyone I've failed."

Tadrose slipped an arm around the wood elf and held her tight. "There are no easy answers Teresa. You just have to go on with your life, and remember that there are still things worth living for, still people who care for you. Someday you will be able to look back at the ones you have lost without feeling like you are now. Time is like a river. If you will let it, it will wash away the pain, and leave only the good memories."

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Dec 23 2011, 03:02 AM

[haute ecole rider]

It seems that Tadrose is just as blind as Teresa is!

The empty feeling Teresa is feeling is pretty much what I expected her to experience after her ordeal with the trolls and seeing Marius dead. One moment they're chatting without a care in the world, the next he's torn to pieces and she's not that far behind him. I'm trying to remember, so I have to ask - is this the first time Teresa lost a friend like this? I know what she went through during the Oblivion Crisis, but all of the people she had connected with in Jensine's shop survived, even brave Vols. So I can't remember another person that she had been on friendly terms with dying like that.

It is good that both Pappy and Tadrose had survived the horror that was Bruma - they recognized what she is going through right now, even if the others don't. I'm sure they will keep the other guildmates from overwhelming Teresa as she comes to terms with what happened and her role in the events. And Tadrose is right, it isn't her fault. But it doesn't change how she feels about the way things turned out.

Survivor's guilt, indeed. The fact that Marius would be grappling with the same emotions if he had lived and Teresa had died makes his death all the more moving.

[Grits]

Oops, I was completely wrong about Tadrose’s age. I thought she was about sixty or so, purely my own wrong assumption. I agree, nineteen would pretty much be the same as twenty-nine for an elf.

She knew how close Teresa and Ancondil were. The last thing she wanted was to do was get in the way. They made an excellent couple after all, even if they kept it very discreet.

Oh dear. I didn’t see that coming.

Teresa’s room sounds lovely. It’s sort of her first apartment.

At any other city, the guard would be patrolling the area for at least a day's ride in all directions. This never should have happened, not anywhere.

Aha! It goes all the way back to bad management at the top. I don’t think Teresa is going to just let this go. It’s sad to see her so disheartened. I hope she finds her spark again soon.

[Destri Melarg]

Survivor's guilt, indeed. The fact that Marius would be grappling with the same emotions if he had lived and Teresa had died makes his death all the more moving.

I second this.

Whatever her shortcomings when it comes to matters of the heart (Really Tadrose? Ancondil? ), Tadrose knows what she’s about in discussions of the warrior’s mentality. We can put that pile of bricks aside for the moment. I am glad that she is there for Teresa. Her presence should help the healing process as much as whatever Pappy pulls out of the larder. Teresa will be fat(ter) and smiling faintly again before you know it!

[ghastley]

Teresa will be fat(ter) and smiling faintly again before you know it!

Careful what you say! We don't want to introduce Anorexia to Tamriel.

She'll be sleek, smooth and rounded, not fat.

[Acadian]

Old business: Thanks for helping with Tadrose's age. I agree completely that a decade is nothing among elves.

I enjoyed that for one more episode here you lingered inside the mind of Tadrose. Your brief departure from Teresa's POV for these episodes has indeed been worth the readers' while! We now know a much bigger picture than either of the elves do.

I was heartened to learn that is was Gaius Prentus who swiftly carried Teresa to safety - he's one of the good ones. That helped to slightly soften the confirmation that of course Marius did not survive. I know his death will weigh heavily on Teresa for a long time, despite Tadrose's sage assessment of Teresa's tactical actions and choices.

I think the world of Ancondil and agree with Teresa that he would be a fine mate if her loins leaned in that direction. It was a surprise however to learn of Tadrose's perception and it explains much. Given that perception, I was half-expecting the Vice Commander to soundly rip into Ancondil for neglecting his elf. You accounted for that by ensuring our wonderful orc was first in line to hug Teresa upon her return. I expect Tadrose saw this as confirmation of her perceptions of a discrete romance between Ancondil and Teresa.

Nice touches regarding the heavy toll and aftermath of the successful massive healing effort by Marz and Olava.

'But Teresa was more an Imperial than an elf in any case, Tadrose told herself silently. She would not be interested in other women.'
Paired with an early passage where Tadrose attributes much of Teresa's behavior to being raised by an Imperial, this highlights how much she still has to learn about our wood elven Arimeric Imperial-raised young Witch. And we certainly now know that Tadrose is indeed attracted to Teresa; I view this as a significant milestone in your story.

Very good handling of how Teresa is beginning to deal with the aftermath of the troll tragedy.

[Olen]

Well I didn't see that coming. Ancondil, I suppose it makes sense though she might wonder at such discretionm especially living so close to them, but qually having decided it was the case it would stop her making any passes. It does rather suggest that it only needs proof that Teresa is not with Ancondil, or sufficent wine on either's part, for them to realise.

I wonder if you can drink while on magic...

You blended Teresa's survivor's guilt very well with Tadrose's thoughts into a part which had a lot of emotional character building in it. I agree that this would work far better from Tadrose's perspective, and clear up the exact nature of the confusion.

I suspect that confusion's time may be short though. There is rather a lot about Teresa Tadrose doesn't know if she's only heard some say Teresa is a witch. You're setting up an interesting section, especially with fighting ruled out for a while at least I can see a lot of intregue and character interaction. I look forward to it.