Teresa of the Faint Smile, Adventures of a Stringy Bosmer Options

[haute ecole rider]

I loved this chapter the first time around, and I still find it as powerful and emotional now as I did then.

It marks a turning point in the relationship between Teresa and Vols, as well as that between T and Simplicia. These little details explain so much about the character of Vols and Simplicia, and reveal even more about Teresa as she comes to terms with a new view of the Legion.

Wonderful!

And I see Acadian has ninja'd me!

[Olen]

Wow... that last part changes things and fills a lot of backstory, and leaves a mystery which I hadn't yet considered - who was Teresa's mum and what happened to her (I don't think this has appeared in the story yet has it?). I'm certainly intregued as to whee the relationships go from here.

"No more of the damned laudanum,"

Nice little detail there, and a good device for loosening his tounge.

"Is that really you Red?"

And this Red person, I wonder who she is...

nit:
His body was covered in a simple grey blanket from his midsection down, and Teresa wonder if his stomach was bandaged underneath it. -- wondered?

[ureniashtram]

Ooh, nice chapter here! Got's to agree with Olen here. The backstory between Simplicia and Vols was simply RICH!

Peony Pavillion! Ha!

Hmmn.. Frosty Prosts being cut up by an enigmatic . . . maniac? What, is that TES' version of. . . (spooky sounds kicks in)

Jack. . . Be nimble! (cackles)

I was just messing with you, although thinking about that Dunmer brings Jack. . The Ripper in mind.

[Winter Wolf]

Awesome chapter, no doubt about it. One second you had the reader smile with the reaction of Teresa when Vols was upsetting her, the next moment you have us feel gutted inside as we find out the history of Simplicia. Your characters come alive from the screen with intense, heart-felt emotion.

Brilliant, Rosa, just brilliant.

[D.Foxy]

Yes...this is the part I remember well, and I still chuckle at the embarassment of Teresa as the men think she's Vols girlfriend!!!

[Destri Melarg]

I find it interesting that Cyrodiil’s healers would resort to the use of laudanum in their administrations of the wounded. It seems that in a world in which healing magic is prevalent such artificial pain-killers would be redundant. I suppose that the Legion has better things for their battlemages to do than sit around casting convalescence spells all day long.

Personally, I think that this ‘Red’ that Vols mentioned is (or was) Simplicia back in the old days when she could do things that the young Vols didn’t know that women could do. The actions that he takes on her behalf are born out of a passion for revenge, not the dispassionate disposition of duty (how’s that for alliteration?). I also think that Teresa has it wrong. Vols may still torture himself for the event, but I think in exacting retribution against the Dunmer who mutilated Simplicia and who knows how many others Vols was simply exercising his humanity, not losing it.

[SubRosa]

Acadian: Thank you Vols. I did intend for that reaction.


haute ecole rider: Thank you h.e.o. You have skewered the importance of this scene entirely. One thing you left out is that it is a swift kick in the rear for Vols as well (although that could fall under the heading of Teresa and Vol's relationship). It is the first time he has been able to show any form of tender emotion since Simplicia was maimed (granted, the laudanum helped to be certain).


Olen: I am glad you caught how I used the laudanum. Aside from the obvious medical reasons, I did purposely dwell on its influence to loosen Vol's tongue.

Red is Teresa! She has red hair after all. Perhaps I should go back and put something in to make that a little more clear...

And thank you for finding Teresa's missing "-ed". It probably got scandalized by that naked Redguard!


ureniashtram: Thank you uren. I got the name Peony Pavilion from House of Flying Daggers, where it was a fancy brothel.


Winter Wolf: Thank you Wolf. Gutted is what I was going for.


D.Foxy: Thank you Fox. That segment was a lot of fun to write. All the ones that highlight Teresa's awkwardness are.


Destri Melarg: Well, remember that all the battlemages are at Bruma, along with most of the army. The people caring for the wounded are civilians, such as Calindil. Given the huge number of wounded, and few number of healers, there just are not enough to go around. Teresa said just that a few segments ago when she and Simplicia were talking about Jensine.

I also went out of my way the previous chapter to establish that healing other people was not a simple task, as we saw it wear out Calindil, and also "heard" Teresa's ruminations on how she knew it was a higher order of magic than she was capable of herself. So under the circumstances I thought it was reasonable that the hordes of wounded would be doped up and tended to mundanely until the few healers could make their way through them all.

I think you are giving Vols much more credit than he deserves. After Simplicia was maimed, he could have taken a page from the book of Leo Buscaglia, told Simplicia that he loved her no matter what, wanted to be with her vagina or not, and have been just plain emotionally supportive. Instead he went the Frank Castle route, and never allowed himself to display any tender emotion for another again. He never even told Simplicia that he killed the man who maimed her. His actions were all about him, and his own feelings of frustration and powerlessness at not being able to protect the woman he loves (a common issue with men whose spouses/girlfriends are raped). It wasn't murdering the Dunmer that destroyed his humanity, it was his inability to face his own emotions that did, and his flight into a life of casual violence that punished him as much as it did the criminals he preyed upon.

Imagine how differently things would have played out if Vols had taken Dr. Leo's advice, or at least Titus Pullo's. He could have brought Simplicia the still-beating heart of her enemy, told her that he loved her, and took care of her. Imagine Teresa being adopted by that loving couple. The TF is almost like an Elseworlds version of history gone terribly wrong.

Teresa's own courage in honestly displaying her emotions to Vols is that swift kick in the british boat that I mentioned to h.e.o. In a way she is almost shaming him into facing his own feelings. If she can do it, how come he can't? She is probably the first person to ever really reach out to him since what happened to Simplicia. To be certain she is the only one he has been incapable of brushing off. She is in the unique position of being the right person, in the right place, at the right time to save Vols from himself.


All: I found a new mod for Teresa's goggles. It not only looks cooler, but has a version that she can wear pushed back on her forehead. It is just for looks, so I integrated its mesh and texture into the mod I am currently uses that gives night eye with the goggles. Look at Teresa in her new specs

Next: Teresa finally returns to Jensine's shop, where she makes a promise that will guide her every future action.


* * *

Chapter 13.3 - The Promise

The sun was low on the horizon when Teresa returned to Jensine's. Gods! she had spent the entire afternoon away from the shop. Simplicia was definitely going to kill her, she thought. At least she had stopped again to buy more food and wine as a peace offering, that might keep the old woman from becoming too angry for leaving her to do all the work herself.

"Where have you been all day!" Here it comes, Teresa thought as she entered through the open doorway and saw the old Imperial rising from the floor at the back of the shop.

"I brought you something to eat." Teresa bit her lip, and set down the bread and sausage she had bought onto a plate near the stairway.

"You left me here to do everything and that is all you have to say!" Simplicia railed, wagging her finger at the young wood elf.

"I'm sorry." Teresa suddenly felt like she was ten years old again. "I went to the Waterfront to see if Methredhel was alright, and we ate." She was not about to mention Volsinius...

"And what about your business proposition?" Simplicia eyed her as she plodded across the floor.

"They wanted me to get some statues for them," Teresa said, "but I told them no."

"Teresa, you were never any good at lying," the old woman sighed as she sat on the stair and reached for the food the wood elf had brought. "I wish you would be more careful, I know you kids think that nothing is ever going to happen to you, but it does."

"I know you worry…" Teresa mumbled as she sat beside the old woman. "I am careful though. I never fight a battle I cannot win, or run away from."

Simplicia shook her head, but said nothing as her mouth was full. They sat there in silence while she ate, and when she had finished Teresa went to the back of the shop to find a cup and poured her some of the wine she had just bought.

"Ever since you came back from the prison, you've been so wild…" the old woman breathed quietly as she took the cup, more of a lament than a rebuke.

"I saw the new Emperor today, or what was left of him." Teresa tried to change the subject as she sat down beside Simplica once more.

"So it's true what they say?" Simplicia asked in surprise.

"It's true, and more," Teresa nodded, "he became Akatosh and sacrificed himself to save all of us. Then he turned to stone. Into a great stone dragon. I've never seen anything like it."

"Maybe I'll go tomorrow and see it," Simplicia said with a wry smile, "and you can stay here and watch the shop."

Teresa would have smiled, but thinking of the two Emperors cast such a dark shroud over her heart that she could not even manage the faint smile she reserved for everyone but Simplicia.

"He's not the first Emperor I saw dead," Teresa admitted. "I was there when his father died. I was standing right beside him."

"What!" Simplicia nearly spat her wine across the floor.

Teresa recounted the entire story of what had occurred beneath the prison that night. She had told Simplicia some of it before, but had left out any mention of the Emperor, his heir, and the Amulet of Kings out of fear of endangering Martin. Until now she had not told a soul because of that, but there seemed little reason to keep her silence anymore.

"That is amazing!" Simplicia exclaimed when Teresa had finished, placing her arm around the wood elf and drawing her close, "my little girl met the Emperor himself, it's no wonder you are so different now, after everything you have been through."

"I'll never forget him," Teresa said as she laid her head on the old woman's shoulder, "he believed in me. He showed me that I could be a better person, that I didn't have to be afraid anymore."

She sat there for a long time, wishing the Emperor was still alive, that his son Martin was still alive, that so many things in life had turned out differently. That made her thoughts turn to what Volsinius had told her, and she bit her lip trying to decide if she should say anything about it.

"I know about what happened to you, when you were working at the Peony Pavilion," she finally blurted out. Telling just one other person about what had happened with the Emperor and the Amulet of Kings felt like a great weight being lifted from her shoulders, she thought. She should not force Simplicia to continue living with her own ordeal in silence. She deserved better.

"Who told you that!" Simplicia snapped, pulling away from Teresa.

"It doesn't matter who," Teresa breathed, looking deeply in the old woman's eyes. "I just wish I had known sooner. You are the only family I'll ever have."

"That was a long time ago." Simplicia slumped her shoulders and turned her head down. "I was a different person then, life was different then."

They sat there in silence, and Teresa wondered if she should have said nothing after all as she stared into her lap. By Nocturnal, could she do nothing right? she wondered. Then the old Imperial cleared her throat and began to speak again.

"I used to dream that someday I would get out of the skin trade. That I would meet someone special, and we would settle down in a little house in the country with a garden and have children. I know it's a stupid dream, and it wasn't ever going to happen anyway. But that's all gone now, all because of that Dunmer fetcher. What really hurts most is that he got away with it too…"

"No he didn't." Teresa said softly. "He's dead."

"Teresa, you didn't…" Simplicia looked up into her eyes with a mixture of shock and dread.

"No, it was a long time ago," the wood elf said, "I probably wasn't even alive then."

Teresa put her arms around the old woman and held her tight as she began to sob. Cradling Simplicia's head on her shoulder, she gently rocked the old woman back and forth and whispered softly into her ear that it was ok, just as Simplicia had done herself on countless occasions when she was a child. When at last her tears subsided, Simplicia drew back and sat up once more. Teresa left one arm around her waist, and with the other took Simplicia's hand within her own.

"Afterward, they let me keep working at the Peony," Simplicia said, her voice harsh and cracking from emotion, "doing laundry, cleaning up, that sort of thing. I didn't even want to be alive back then, and being around the other women just made it worse."

"So I got into skooma. It made me forget, for a while at least. I lost even that job because all I wanted to do was drink it. I sold everything I had to get more, until finally I had nothing left. I would have sold myself, but no one wants a woman who is not even a woman anymore. Then I was out on the streets with nothing."

Teresa said nothing. She just held Simplicia and let her talk. She wondered how long it had been since the old woman had been able to share the terrible events of her life with another person, if ever at all.

"Eventually I stole a knife and went back into an alley to cut my wrists," Simplicia continued, "but then something happened that changed everything, that changed my entire life."

Teresa gave her a questioning look, but still did not speak. She was not even sure that she could talk at all with the lump that had formed in her throat.

"I heard a baby crying," Simplicia explained, "it was this pale little elf wrapped up in a velvet blanket. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I wondered what was going to happen to that poor little thing, all alone in the world?"

"That is when I knew that I still had something to live for," Simplicia said as she looked deeply into Teresa's eyes. "To this day I bless Mara for giving you to me. You saved my life little girl."

Teresa did begin to cry then, and held Simplicia close. She had always known that life had been hard for the old woman, but she had no idea how awful. In that moment she thanked Mara herself for drawing them both together.

"I am going to make your dream come true," Teresa said through her tears, "I promise."

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jul 30 2020, 02:07 AM

[haute ecole rider]

Wonderful follow-up to Teresa's conversation with Vols in the previous segment.

It is a big load to dump off one's shoulders, to be able to tell someone about that meeting with the Emperor and how it affected Teresa. It is only fitting that she should return the favor and lighten Simplicia's shoulders as well.

[Olen]

Well you've certaily kept with filling in backgrounds, and you've set up another sub-plot I think. Good followup both in terms of continuing what was started with her speaking with vols and in having it draw out more backstory.

It appears, though I could be wrong, that we are at, or fast approching, another point of change in the action and what Teresa is doing.

[Destri Melarg]

Destri Melarg: I think you are giving Vols much more credit than he deserves. After Simplicia was maimed, he could have taken a page from the book of Leo Buscaglia, told Simplicia that he loved her no matter what, wanted to be with her vagina or not, and have been just plain emotionally supportive. Instead he went the Frank Castle route, and never allowed himself to display any tender emotion for another again. He never even told Simplicia that he killed the man who maimed her. His actions were all about him, and his own feelings of frustration and powerlessness at not being able to protect the woman he loves (a common issue with men whose spouses/girlfriends are raped). It wasn't murdering the Dunmer that destroyed his humanity, it was his inability to face his own emotions that did, and his flight into a life of casual violence that punished him as much as it did the criminals he preyed upon.

Which all perfectly illustrates the point that I was making . . . his humanity should not be formed of the idealized version of what he should have done, but of the actual reality of what he did do. What he did was perfectly in keeping with how you drew him as a character. I would not expect the young Vols (or even the older Vols) to be able to extend himself emotionally to such an extent. He would be more comfortable exacting retribution for his own sake and telling himself that he did it for Simplicia, then convincing himself that she never needs to know. I wasn’t trying to give Vols undue credit. In many ways he is a Neanderthal, but he is a well drawn Neanderthal. Any time he acts in such vivid accord with his basic nature I consider that ‘exercising his humanity’, not 'losing it'.

Now, on to the current chapter:

I agree with haute and Olen, this was an excellent follow up to the last chapter. I think that, understandably, Simplicia was just as cut off from her own emotions as Vols. The revelation that she was in that alley to kill herself when she heard the baby crying lends even more depth to the relationship between the two women.

This is just an observation, but it seems that if Teresa is to be given the charge of making Vols face his own emotions then she has just robbed him by telling Simplicia what she knows. I know that, technically, she didn’t betray a confidence but, spiritually, she did.

[Acadian]

Another very powerfully emotional episode!

I love Vols, and what he did. I also love Teresa, and the choices she made in sharing things with Simplicia. I felt like I was completely inside Teresa's head, and her emotional logic/rationale made perfect sense to me. I could feel her turmoil as she bit her lower lip and arrived at decisions that were completely Teresa.

"it was this pale little elf wrapped up in a velvet blanket. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

Yes! That is our little pale elf!

"To this day I bless Mara for giving you to me. You saved my life little girl."
. . .
In that moment she thanked Mara herself for drawing them both together.

Yes, indeed. Thanking Mara is a good thing. The way baby Teresa saved Simplica from herself is such a beautiful piece of TF.

And finally, ah yes. The promise. I have no doubt Teresa will keep the promise to her precious Simplica.

One thing that struck me with this episode, is that it captured me to the point that the words almost disappeared, leaving behind only the drama you intended.

I said the words almost disappeared because one tiny segment of your wording did cause me pause:

"Where have you been all day!" Here it comes, Teresa thought as she entered through the open doorway and saw the old Imperial rising from floor at the back of the shop.

Did you intend 'rising from floor' instead of 'rising from the floor'?

[D.Foxy]

Destri, I have the feeling that you are using 'humanity' in a different definition from Rosa.

Rosa is speaking of 'humanity' as a philosophical ideal, that level of goodness and morality which all humans, male or female, should aim for.

Of course, nearly all of us fail to reach the full potential of this humanity, but we can at least try to approach it. As Teresa does. And Simplicia. Vols made only one brief moral effort in that direction, and failed to follow through.

Your definition of humanity, methinks, is the innate character of a person. Which can also be called that - many others than you have made that same definition - but, alas, it's not Rosa's definition.

[Remko]

Those two last chapter were friggin' awesome. I can't start to fathom how the hell you manage to layer in sooo much emotion. I marvel....

And I still think Vols is great! I'd have cut up that wretched Dunmer in a million pieces too and make him watch the Slaughterfish eat some of his parts. Magic must be a "great" tool in torture keeping someone alive that would've died a loooooong time before. Hmmm........

[SubRosa]

haute ecole rider: Thank you h.e.o. This has always been one of my favorite chapters.


Olen: Thank you Olen. You are quite right. Teresa's promise marks a major turning point in her life, and that of Simplicia. Now she has a clear goal in front of her, rather than just the nebulous idea of making money.


Destri Melarg: What Foxy said. I strive to make all of my characters human. Well, at least the human ones. Seriously though, perfect characters are boring. That is why I make an effort to show people's warts as well as their good sides.

And yes, Teresa is sort of betraying a confidence. As if that would stop her from meddling! She is a woman, it is her job to stick her nose into other people's lives when she thinks she can make them better!


Acadian: You are right, my "the" must have washed away by Teresa's tears!

Thank you Acadian. This is a chapter that still makes me cry. I am glad I am not the only one who can feel the emotion. I am glad you noted the reference to Mara. This is the first time Teresa makes one to the Mother Goddess. It will certainly not the be the last


D.Foxy: Exactly.


Remko: Thank you. It's a chick thing.


All: No update this time. I am still working on the next chapter, which is all new. I will probably post the first segment at the end of the week. After that are two more new chapters. Since work has gotten crazy lately, I have been slower than usual in writing. However, the good news is we will be seeing people's favorites: Baurus, Methredhel, and Morcant.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jul 27 2010, 05:36 PM

[Destri Melarg]

Destri Melarg: What Foxy said. I strive to make all of my characters human. Well, at least the human ones. Seriously though, perfect characters are boring. That is why I make an effort to show people's warts as well as their good sides.

And yes, Teresa is sort of betraying a confidence. As if that would stop her from meddling! She is a woman, it is her job to stick her nose into other people's lives when she thinks she can make them better!

Just as it is the job of the man to walk around perpetually tasting his own shoe leather! My apologies.

[SubRosa]

Next: Teresa pays a visit to a part of the city we have not seen yet.

* * *

Chapter 14.1- The Grandmaster

1st Sun's Height, 3E433

Teresa dodged aside as a cart loaded with limestone blocks clattered past her down Commerce street. The last thing she wanted was to get in the way of that leviathan, she thought to herself, the crowds of people were bad enough. As she nimbly wove her way through the gaggles of shoppers in the Market District, she found it hard to believe that just two days before the same street had been a battlefield.

Still, maybe that was why it was so busy, she thought. With so much devastation, people had to buy new things to replace what had been ruined. Half the patrons in Jensine's had been looking for furniture, which made the forester imagine that they must have used theirs as makeshift barricades just as she and the others had done. The rest sought out armor, weapons, and healing potions. The last of the Vilverin loot had sold by midday. She only wished she had more ingredients, otherwise she could have made a fortune on potions.

She found herself once more thankful that Raven had led her to Vilverin as she looked down at the dark brown leather that now sheathed her frame. The leftover spoils of the Ayleid ruin had yielded up more than enough for her to assemble another suit of armor. This one was of the regular style leather, rather than the revealing hides the bandits made. It felt a little warmer, but she hoped that legionaries and guardsmen would look at her a little less suspiciously than before.

A lone soldier stood guard at the massive gate that separated the Market District from the Palace District. However, he paid no heed to Teresa as she passed him by and strode into the dimly lit tunnel cut through the gatehouse. The forester noted the arrow-slits cut into the walls of the tunnel to either side, and the ominous-looking holes in the ceiling above. She would not want to be in the army that tried to force its way through here, she thought, it would simply be suicide.

Emerging from the gateway over a dozen paces later, she squinted in the harsh glare of the sun as she looked about herself. The crowds had thinned out as soon as she stepped into the gatehouse. Most of the people that did remain continued down the wide thoroughfare of Green Emperor Way, which ran straight ahead toward the base of White Gold Tower. That lofty spire rose impossibly high into the sky overhead, seeming to float in the air. How tall could it be? the forester wondered, a thousand feet? two thousand? How in the world could anyone have ever built something so amazing?

An elbow in her side brought her thoughts back to Nirn. One hand immediately fell to her purse, and the wood elf breathed a sigh of relief to find it still hung from her belt. The forester shot a dark look at the pair of snickering Imperials who swaggered past her down the street. Now her hand fell to the empty spot at her right hip where her arrow bag normally rested. Along with her armor, she had put aside another bow and a few arrows from the Vilverin loot. She had left them behind because bringing them to the Imperial Palace had not seemed like a good idea. But as she stared at the velvet-clad backs of the undoubtedly patrician youths, she wished she had ignored prudence for once.

Typical noble snobs, she fumed as she set her feet back into motion, they think they can push anyone around that they want. She'd like to see how long they would last on the Waterfront, or in the shantytown beyond.

The white-washed stones of single-storied barracks buildings rose to her right, and beyond she could catch glimpses of wide parade grounds. On and on they went, yet with only a few legionaries in their dark plate or simple tunics marching around them. Some of the buildings looked completely empty, given their shuttered windows. If there were people in them, she doubted they would shut themselves up on a warm summer day!

To her left Teresa saw the gigantic warehouses that made up the city's granary. All were curiously raised up from the ground by stone pillars, so the breeze flowed without hindrance beneath their floors. Each could only be entered by a wide ramp leading up to a pair of great bronze doors, making them appear like miniature fortresses.

She saw that most were decorated with frescos depicting stalks of wheat, cornucopias overflowing with fruits and vegetables, farm animals, and most of all, the goddess Mara. In some of them the great fertility goddess stood holding the universal symbol of marriage: two lengths of cord, both knotted together in the center to create a single strand. Yet in most she was depicted with a belly swollen by pregnancy, upon which a spiral was painted, while leaves and flowers grew from her hair.

The warehouses were surrounded by a tall, iron fence crowned with spikes, and the wood elf could see a pair of legionaries standing guard at the single gate leading in. As she watched, a wagon loaded with sacks of what she imagined was grain rolled down the ramp of one warehouse and clattered toward the pair of soldiers.

Teresa continued down the street to where it opened into a gigantic plaza that was sprinkled with mortals of all races. Much like in the Market District, all manner of citizens could be found making their way through the square. Here was an Imperial in velvet riding a dappled grey horse, there an Argonian shuffling in worn linen. Looking across the vast open space, the forester could see wide thoroughfares radiating out like spokes on a wheel. The nearest to her right led to the Elven Gardens District, and beyond that another made its way to Talos Plaza. While to her left yet another street ran to the Arena District.

All along the white pavestones rose marble statues of Emperors and other heroes of the Empire. Some she recognized instantly, such as Alessia and Tiber Septim. She had to read the names on the shining brass plaques at the feet of most of them know who they were however, and even then she had never heard of more than half of them.

Straight ahead - surrounding White Gold Tower - Teresa saw a final wall. This one was only slightly lower than that between the districts, but was made of the same gleaming white stone as the great tower itself, rather than the grey rock of the city's other walls. It curved around out of view to either side, and the forester knew that to reach the districts on the other side of the city, she only had to walk along the boulevard that circled the wall.

Tucked into the wall facing directly north was the bulge of a gatehouse, and it was to this that Teresa's feet took her. Standing along either side of the fiery bronze portals of the entryway were a row of soldiers. Unlike the simple, dark plate of the Imperial Legion, these wore armor of glimmering steel inlaid with golden dragons. Great crests of amber horse hair rose from their helmets, and swords of glittering mithril rode at their hips. Praetorians, Teresa thought as she stepped up to the gateway, only to be blocked by a pair of the soldiers.

"State your name and business in the palace citizen." The stern voice issued not from the slit of one of the helmets of the praetorians before her, but rather from another to her side. Turning her head, the forester saw that this one wore the transverse crest of an officer, and Teresa imagined that he must command the gate.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jan 7 2011, 03:54 AM

[haute ecole rider]

Hmm, this is new!

I like your description of the Palace District - it makes it seems so much more essential to the identity of the Imperial City. It rather exemplifies the centralization of power in Cyrodiil with the barracks, the granaries, etc.

The snobby Imperial youths are just asking for someone to take them down a notch or two! Too bad Teresa left her bow and arrow bag behind!

[Olen]

I agree with Huate that the palace district feels more like a centre of power and a palace than the single tower in game, again your increase in scale and vision for the world adds a lot (and still manages to be fairly sympathetic about not drastically changing the world). The inclusion of grannaries as a nice touch.

And now to go into the palace... there's something she'd never have dreamt of.

[Acadian]

Oh, a new mystery! I'm curious to find out what is bringing Teresa's feet to the palace.

I liked your description of the gatehouse she passed through, complete with arrow slits and overhead meurtrières.

Lots of architectural and city description. I know it is your intent to portray the IC as a massive city, and you did so here. I was pleased to see that you broke it up some with Teresa's thoughts ranging from why people would be shopping (good reasoning, Teresa), her new armor and the snotty young Imperials.


nits?

As she nimbly wove her way through the gaggles of shoppers in the Market District, she found it hard to believe that just a two days before the same street had been a battlefield.

The 'a' seems out of place or unintended here.

The crowds had slaked off as soon as she stepped into the gatehouse.

To me, 'slaked' implies quenched or sated. I wonder if you meant to use 'slacked'? Could it be as simple as a missing 'c' that spell check would not notice, since slake is a word?

[Destri Melarg]

We are of the same mind when it comes to our approach to the size of Tamriel. Your Palace District is one worthy of housing an Emperor. I especially loved the frescoes depicting Mara. I find it ironic that she would be holding the two cords symbolizing marriage considering that she is married to both Akatosh and Lorkhan. Maybe she should be holding three cords!

The wordsmith in me did cartwheels reading these lines:

But as she stared at the velvet-clad backs of the undoubtedly patrician youths, she wished she had ignored prudence for once.

-and-

The white-washed stones of single-storied barracks buildings rose to her right,

Alliteration FTW!

Nits:

That last thing she wanted was to get in the way of that leviathan, she thought to herself, the crowds of people were bad enough.

Emerging from the gateway over a dozen paces later, . . .