Teresa of the Faint Smile, Adventures of a Stringy Bosmer Options

[hazmick]

Haha, Pappy better not mess with this Bosmer. (Evenif she does sound like one of Sheogorath's followers ) But I am glad that Pappy is willing to believe her story for now.

Mr. Loche better keep training as well, he'll really need it.

Excellent chapter, Rosa. Can't wait to see Teresa show Pappy "what she's got" (and Tadrose too )

[Acadian]

I liked it! Plenty of sparks here! The interactions between Teresa and Pappy delivered loads of show vs tell. Well done!

"Do you expect me to believe that load of imp chips?" Pappy exclaimed. "Damn kid, if you are going to lie, at least make it something believable!"
Yay! Imp chips!!! Get over it, Pappy! Teresa wasn't exactly wetting herself to tell you about her time in prison, but YOU are the one who asked - so she told you. I also don't recall our stringy wood elf telling you that she expected you to believe anything. Now, for SubRosa: I know Teresa is young and understandably a touch intimidated, so I was not surprised to see her almost stammer a touch here. But I was so proud of her for standing up for herself!

Fabulous that you reminded us heroes like Julian of Anvil, Uriel, Martin and even the grass crown holder, Pappy. I suspect that I'm not alone in thinking of Vols when you mention grass crown.

"I am not a kid!" The growl escaped Teresa's throat before she was even aware she was going to speak. "My name is Teresa, get used to it gramps."
You go, girl!

[Grits]

"What on Nirn are you babbling about?" the Colovian stared down at her with an incredulous look.
I love that Pappy speaks his mind. An inscrutable “Hmm” might suit other chapter heads, but the Bravil leader is much more engaging!

I like the way you specify Nibenese and Colovian. It adds a lot of depth in just one word, and it reminds me that Theresa’s Cyrodiil is huge and populated by a lot of different Imperials.

Her potential new boss makes her furious, and her possible new vice-commander tells her that Theresa is exactly what she needs. Bravil may be an under populated frontier town, but it seems that Theresa could find plenty of excitement. I hope we get to meet Vincent and the “blasted kid” Tavian.

This post has been edited by Grits: Dec 30 2010, 03:12 PM

[mALX]

This was one of my fave chapters before, and still is, I love the re-write! Teresa's first impression of Pappy - and his of her !!! There is so much personality going on in this chapter it is tangible! Awesome Write !!!!

"I'm sorry that I don't have statues of me like Julian of Anvil does, or bard's singing about me, or a grass crown like you." Teresa went on. "I'm not a hero. I'm just an ordinary woman. But that doesn't mean I cannot do my part to make the world a better place to live in. The Emperor believed in me, and if he did, then you should too."

SPEW !!! I love this line, and it is exactly that I love so much about Teresa - she may never be a 'Hero', but she kind of is heroic in some ways - regular/average, imperfect, everyday Teresa - that is what makes her so lovable - but the way she has survived her rough childhood, still tender inside but fierce when life calls for it - her deep loyalty to the Emperor that is evidenced in the changes within herself since his death - she is heroic where it counts.

[SubRosa]

Olen: I have always liked Bravil, although I would prefer it have the same style of buildings as Cheydinhal or Chorrol. Teresa on the other hand, is not very picky. As you say, she spent the last three years living in a shantytown. Anything is an improvement over that. Besides that however, Bravil's selling points are its rustic atmosphere, and its relatively small population. That gives the city an open, airy feeling that a forest elf can feel comfortable in. As opposed to the cold stone wall looming everywhere of the Imperial City.

We will definitely be seeing more of Aleron Loche in the future. In fact, he appears in the chapter I am currently writing (and it is not Caught in the Hunt).

Would that secret of destringiness be a protein shake? Or perhaps a hot-beef injection?

You were right about those three paragraphs in a row with Tadrose speaking. I went back and edited that part, and now hopefully it flows better.


hazmick: Teresa gets the chance to show what she has next. Not to Tadrose though.


Acadian: I knew you would like the return of the imp chips. I put them in just for you in fact.

Teresa does indeed let out that spark inside her, and stand up to Pappy. Quite a change from the alleycat who said "eep!" and fell on her rear when caught sneaking up behind the Emperor's party! Of course now she has to keep her temper while she is at it...


Grits: If you had not guessed, Gaius "Pappy" Vitellus is inspired by the old t.v. show Baa Baa Blacksheep's commanding officer, himself inspired by the IRL Pappy Boyington (I say inspired because in Boyington's own words, that show was more Hollywood hokum then reality). Now that we are going to be seeing more of Pappy, I started rewatching the first season again to help me recapature his attitude. In one scene General Moore tells him: "You run your mouth with your brain in neutral!" Exactly as you noted yourself!

Breaking down Imperials by Nibeneans and Colovians was actually inspired by a mod I created over the summer. It did it because the vanilla Imperials do not thrill me. So I decided to carry it over into the TF as well, in order to add more flavor. Unlike the game, I actually try to show distinct physical characteristics for each race. For example Nords are always either blond-haired and blue-eyed, or red-haired and green-eyed. Nibeneans are from the original Cyrodiilic stock, and are olive-skinned, with black hair and dark eyes. Being interbred with Nords, Colovians are fair-skinned, and can have a mix of light or dark hair and eyes.

Teresa will be having plenty of excitement in Bravil, that is for sure! That 'blasted kid' is coming up next. Vincent will not appear for a few more chapters though (although if you look back to The Battle of Bruma, he has a small part there.


mALX: It is funny, because while I was not planning it that way, when I wrote this chapter Teresa came off with a very negative impression of Pappy. Everything he did and said grated on her. I went with it since that is what came naturally. It makes a good example of how first impressions can be very wrong.


Next: In our previous segment Teresa met with guild commander and fessed up about meeting the Emperor. Next she has the chance to show what she can do.


Chapter 26.7 – The Fighter

That brought a laugh from the much older man, who turned back to look at Teresa as she stepped through the door. She found herself in a huge field that stretched out behind the guild hall. It ran all the way to the city wall, and was bordered by low stone walls to either side. The grass of the field was trampled down under her feet, giving Teresa the impression that people must walk on it a great deal. At its far end, against the blocks of the city wall, she saw several archery butts. Only these were not the round targets she had always seen before. Instead these were each shaped in the silhouette of a person, with several colored regions fanning out from the center of the chest.

Pappy stepped over to a well near the back door and drew a bucket from its depths. Teresa jumped back as he upended the contents over his head and gasped.

"Achh! that's cold!" he exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear as he wiped the water from his eyes.

"And you say I'm mad?" Teresa said, now it was her turn to lift an eyebrow.

"If you spent all day holding workouts and training sessions, you'd be happy for a bath too," he remarked as he picked up a small hourglass. Then he stepped away from the building and out into the field.

"My idea of a bath comes with a tub, or at least a lake or a river." Teresa remarked as she followed.

"A good soldier improvises," Pappy said with a smile. "Alright Teresa, you got balls the size of an ogre's. I like that in a fighter. Now let's see if you can back it up. So string your bow tub-girl."

He waited for Teresa to ready her bow, and then pointed at the targets down the field. "I want you to start on the left, and put one arrow in each target, as fast as you can without missing. You have one minute, now go!"

Pappy turned the hourglass over, and with that Teresa knew she had to move. Without looking down, she drew an arrow from the quiver at her right hip and set it to the nock. Her eye was on the left-most target down range as she drew the string halfway back. Letting half the air from her lungs, she pulled the feathers of the arrow to her cheek and loosed.

"Come on, pick up the pace!" Pappy shouted in her ear. "My grandmother can shoot faster than that!"

Teresa felt her heart double its pace in an instant at his scathing words. Yet she did not look away from the second target as she drew another arrow and set it to her bowstave. Once more drawing it halfway back, she breathed out and took aim. Then a moment later she pulled the arrow to her cheek and loosed.

"Time is running out while you play with yourself kid! Speed it up!" Pappy continued to yell at her.

Teresa felt the familiar warmth of anger spreading through her cheeks as he continued to shout at her. She did her best to ignore her feelings, and him, and concentrated on her shooting instead. There was nothing but her, the arrows, and the targets. All she had to do was put them together. With that in mind she continued to fire until finally Pappy finally waved a hand in front of her face.

"That's it Teresa!" he exclaimed, holding the empty hourglass up with his other hand. He was grinning now. "You got six shots, all center mass, with me screaming in your face. That's good. That's damn good! The legion couldn't do better."

Teresa realized that her chest was heaving up and down for air, and forced herself to slow her breathing. Likewise her heart was once more racing like a thoroughbred. She thought about the Emperor again, fixing her mind on his face, remembering the soft tones of his voice. With that she felt herself slowly begin to relax once more.

"You were trying to rattle me, weren't you?" Teresa said, turning to look at the Colovian.

"The last man I had here only got two shots off before he stopped and got into an argument with me." Pappy smiled. "I like someone who's got sand, but not when they haven't any sense to go with it. He didn't make the cut. You just did."

Teresa nodded, continuing to picture the Emperor in her mind while the excitement of the last few minutes slowly eased from her frame.

"What else can you do?" Pappy asked. "That bow is the only weapon I see you have. You any good with a sword? Or hand to hand?"

"No." Teresa shook her head. "I don't know a thing about fighting close up. I can use some magic though."

"Let's see." The Colovian's eyes flashed at the mention of magic, and Teresa wondered if that was a good thing or a bad one.

Concentrating on the image of an erupting flame, Teresa drew the magicka up from within her. She felt the energy tingle in the tips of her fingers. Then she pointed her hand across the field and unleashed a ball of flame into one of the targets, setting it alight.

"I know another spell to heal myself as well," Teresa continued. "I do not have a lot of magicka though, so I can only cast either a few times before I have to wait and let it build back up."

"A healing spell too you say? That's even better." Pappy nodded. He then turned his head toward the building and shouted in a voice that fairly split Teresa's ears. "Tavian!"

As if summoned by magic, a teen with long brown hair appeared from the guild hall. He wore a simple green flax shirt, and equally plain tan leggings. In spite of his lighter hair, his features looked more like those of an Imperial than a Breton, and Teresa guessed that he was probably just a few years younger than herself.

Screenshot

"What is it Pappy?" he asked, his glance bouncing from Teresa to the older man.

"Say hello to Teresa," the guild commander said. Then he jerked a thumb at the archery target that Teresa's spell had set afire. "And put that out please, before the City Guard complains again."

The young man nodded to Teresa and grabbed the bucket from the ground where Pappy had carelessly discarded it. Then he rushed over to the well and hurried to lower it into the water once more. In the meantime Pappy motioned Teresa to follow him back into the guild hall.

"Greetings Tavian," Teresa called out to the boy, who was furiously cranking on the windlass. Before he could respond she turned to follow the older Colovian back into the building.

"How good are you at scouting?" Pappy asked, glancing back at her over his shoulder as he led the way down the hallway past the training room. "Sneaking around, being quiet, that sort of thing?"

"I grew up on the streets of the Imperial City," Teresa said with a faint smile. "I've spent most of my life sneaking around, especially when I was living on the Waterfront. Now I have a pair of goggles that let me see in the dark as well."

"Good, I need a scout as well as an archer," Pappy explained. "Akatosh's wings! I need an entire guild again…"

"I know some alchemy too," Teresa offered up as they continued into the bowels of the hall. "I used to make potions for the Thieves Guild back in the city. And no I wasn't in the Guild myself. A few months ago I stopped and started selling them to the Mages Guild and local alchemists instead."

"So you're a connected girl then too." Pappy stopped and turned to look at her once more. "You are just full of surprises. C'mon, I want to see about this alchemy of yours."

"Most people laugh at the mention of the Thieves Guild," Teresa said as he led her through another door and down another hallway. "Not you?"

"I was born at night, but not last night kid," Pappy said as they came to the kitchen.

"That's Teresa, old man," the wood elf reflexively corrected him.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jun 2 2011, 11:19 PM

[Thomas Kaira]

"That's Teresa, old man," the wood elf reflexively corrected him.

This is going to be an interesting relationship.

Nice to see Teresa doesn't let a drill sergeant's gaff get in the way of her accuracy. Remember, putting a lot of arrows downrange is nice. Hitting your targets is even better. This is my style, as well, I prefer to take my time to ensure a hit rather than try to get a high volume of arrows downrange.

Nit? This is style-based so feel free to ignore it.

My idea of a bath comes with a tub, or at least a lake or a river.

This sentence structuring doesn't make much sense to me. Perhaps it would be better reversed?

My idea of a bath comes with a lake or a river, or at least a tub.

This post has been edited by Thomas Kaira: Jan 1 2011, 01:54 AM

[hazmick]

Aaaw, no Tadrose.

But there was Pappy, archery, fire and quick tongues. Good job! I hope Teresa gets to show Tadrose her stuff at some point...her archery skills that is

[Acadian]

I smiled all the way through this. Simply delightful. Teresa acquitted herself well and I was proud of her coolness 'under fire'.

Her 'interview' with Pappy gave us a good run down/summary/review of her capabilities, and how she views them.

"Alright Teresa, you got balls the size of an ogre's. I like that in a fighter."
Ahah! So Teresa does have the stones for this kind of work! Perhaps this Guild of Fighters gig will work out!

"Good, I need a scout as well as an archer," Pappy explained. "Akatosh's wings! I need an entire guild again…"
Another very well-phrased reminder of the devastation the guild has suffered as a result of the Oblivion Crisis.

"So string your bow tub-girl."
I laughed at this! Wonderful. Then, at the end, Teresa returned the barb:
"That's Teresa, old man," the wood elf reflexively corrected him.

Not a nit, but a style observation:
'That brought a laugh from the much older man, who turned back to look at Teresa as she stepped through the door.'
Opening the episode with this sentence requires a clear recollection of the previous paragraph - which is in your preceding episode. To remember that Pappy was about to take Teresa out to the 'wood shed' to check her stones is reasonable. Perhaps it is too much to expect a precise recollection of the joke that brought the laugh here. Were the two episodes to be run back to back, there would be no concern. When I break an episode into two, I usually end up tweaking the tail of one and the beginning of the other with the idea that there may be a few days between their reading. Again, just a thought/observation, not a nit. I'm such an avid fan, that I remembered what caused the laugh perfectly.

[mALX]

Teresa's first inklings of temper, she handled it well. The chemistry between Teresa and Pappy is starting off like a DI with a recruit, but I'm sure Pappy didn't get his nickname idly. Hopefully a mutual respect will grow out of these beginnings. Did I say I loved these chapters where she joins the Bravil Fighters Guild? I did originally, and they are just as great on the re-read. You can develop a tangible character in paragraphs, and in the Fighters Guild you excelled even your own self in proving that !!! Awesome Write !!!

[Olen]

I like Pappy, the fact that he isn't coming across as particularly nice makes perfect sense given his position. He's not there to be nice, at least not to raw recruits who he's got no reason to trust to watch his back. I can see them ending up with a mutual respect once Teresa proves she knows what she's at.

Alright Teresa, you got balls the size of an ogre's

Brilliant line.

Tavian didn't appear in game I think, so I'm wondering what part he will get to play, doubtless all will be revealed.

Would that secret of destringiness be a protein shake? Or perhaps a hot-beef injection?

Pappy would be for more old-school surely? He'd be recommending the gallon of milk a day...

[SubRosa]

Thomas Kaira: Teresa's six aimed shots a minute was actually the standard rate of fire of professional archers, whether in the Middle Ages or earlier. That she does take the time to aim and fire coolly with Pappy yelling in her face is indeed a mark of her seasoning since she began. Teresa is now used to firing under pressure.

I looked at your nit, and it seems the same either way around to me. Except that perhaps by putting that lakes and rivers first it might show that Teresa puts more emphasis on those things as bath worthy, rather than a tub. But on the other hand tubs also mean hot water, which rates higher with her. So she as much as she is a forest elf, she would rather bathe in a tub than a river. Given that I am going to leave the tub first.


hazmick: No Tadrose for a while now. I know, Teresa is disappointed too. She likes her much better than Pappy!


Acadian: Quite a difference between Teresa and Methredhel's shooting is there not? Here the experience Teresa has had in the past shows with her ability to stay focused on her shooting.

I understand your nit. It is something I consider every time I break up a chapter into individual posts. I tend to write my character interactions very tightly, so when a scene is too long for one post it is difficult to find a place in the middle where I can break without it interrupting something. I really do not want to add anything from the old post, as the TF is really meant to be read just as you would a novel. As it is on the website, or in my Word docs. The repetition would be glaring in that format, and I do not want the forum version to be different from the originals (to avoid confusion on my part). I suppose my other real option is just to make 3,000+ word posts when the need arises. I have done it a few times in the past already.


mALX: Well, at least Pappy does not have an overabundance of pride getting in his way, or Teresa a prejudice against him because of his wealth and social standing. We all know how that would turn out in the end!


Olen: Pappy can indeed be a hard taskmaster when he has to be. He has learned his own lessons at Bruma, and is determined to never let that happen again. This coming segment ought to show that very well (I hope!).

Tavian is sort of there in the game. He is the porter. It is just that in the TF, a porter is someone who actually does janitorial work. Instead of walking around in armor and following people everywhere they go. Given that I am made him a teenager.


Next: In our previous episode Teresa proved her abilities as an archer. In our next - and final segment of this chapter - she must prove her alchemical skills as well.


Chapter 26.8 – The Fighter

The kitchen contained a massive frost box, a large stove, an oven, and numerous cupboards along the walls. A large rectangular table dominated the center of the room. Hanging over it from hooks in the ceiling was all manner of knives, spoons, ladles, pots, and pans.

"Make me a Potion of Healing," Pappy said, gesturing at the wooden table.

"Okay, I can do that," Teresa breathed. Setting down her pack beside the table, she then unstrung her bow and laid the stave beside it. She rummaged through her pack for her mortar and pestle and set them on the table. Finally she dug through her bag of ingredients until she produced a sprig of lavender.

Putting the plant in the mortar, she spent several minutes grinding it into an indistinguishable paste. Adding water from a pitcher near the stove, she mixed it all together until it formed a pink liquid. All the while she pictured in her mind how the potion would mend broken flesh and make it whole once more.

"The last time I hired someone who said he was an alchemist, it turned out he didn't know dreck," Pappy explained. "It wasn't until we were at Bruma that the truth came out."

"Well I don't even buy my ingredients anymore. I pick them all in the forest myself." Teresa held the mortar up to Pappy. "Here you go, one Potion of Healing."

"Okay, show me it works," the Colovian folded his arms across his chest and stared at her.

"Well, go ahead and drink it." Teresa said, offering it to him again.

"Oh no," Pappy shook his head, "for all I know that might be poison."

Teresa sighed and lifted the mortar to her lips. Was this man ever going to trust her, she wondered?

"Hold on there," Pappy stopped her with an upraised hand. Bending down, he produced a knife from a sheath that Teresa had not even noticed at his ankle. With deft fingers he spun it around in his hand so the blade faced him, and he proffered the hilt to the wood elf.

"Anyone can make pink water," he said. "I want to see that it really works too."

Teresa shook her head and set the mortar on the table beside her. She took the knife from his grip, staring at her reflection in its long, triangular blade. She could not believe how paranoid the Colovian was. But if she was going to get into the guild, she knew she would have to show what she was capable of. That made her wonder if this was not just a test of her alchemical abilities…

Gritting her teeth, she drew the knife across the palm of her hand, tracing a long red line through her flesh. Pain flared bright and hot in her skin, and she held it up so that Pappy could plainly see the wound. Setting down the bloody knife, she picked up the mortar and chugged the potion as quickly as she could. Just as suddenly as the pain had erupted, it faded away to a memory. She lowered her hand as the last of her flesh knitted closed across it. A moment later there was not even a scar.

"Happy now, you fetcher?" Teresa said in a low voice, slamming down the mortar on the table with a loud crash and handing the knife back to Pappy. "Or do you want to me to go out and kill a daedroth next?"

"Nah, I'll save that for the next one," Pappy smiled as he took the knife and wiped it clean before placing it back in its sheath. "I'm impressed kid, you got what it takes alright, and then some. Come back in about two weeks and I'll sign you up."

"Two weeks!" Teresa's eyes widened. "What in Oblivion for?"

"That's how long it will take me to check with the prison," Pappy said, his hands falling to his hips again. "Once they tell me you're clean, you are in. I don't even care about the rest of it, but I cannot take you if you have a record."

"What? I just told you…" Teresa fumed. She took her mortar and pestle in hand, gripping them so hard that she could see her knuckles turning white. It took every ounce of her will to stop herself from throwing them at the Colovian.

"Kid, I have heard every story there is, but never one like that," Pappy said. "I like you Teresa. I really do. But I'd be a damn idiot if I didn't check you out first."

"Then why were you wasting my damn time with all this bull!" Teresa could not contain the shout that tore from her throat. "If you didn't want me you could have just said so! You didn't have to lie to me you fetcher!"

"I didn't lie. I want you!" Pappy raised his own voice as Teresa stuffed the mortar and pestle into her pack. "But I'm not gonna stand here and blow sunshine up your rear either!"

"You are so full of it!" Teresa yelled back. Her heart was pounding in her chest again and her skin felt as hot as Oblivion. She lifted her pack over her shoulders and grabbed her bow stave. "Getting me to chop my hand up and waste one of my potions wasn't enough for you? What, you want to jerk me around more?"

"Damnit kid slow down." Pappy said as he stepped in front of her. "I'll give you another Healing potion. I'm not trying to screw with you, I just need to know what you can really do."

Teresa looked at him and felt her fingers curl into a fist. They wanted desperately to find a new home in the Colovian's face. But some part of the forester remembered what had happened the last time she was at Methredhel's shack. She refused to lose control of herself like that again. Gritting her teeth, Teresa felt herself start to tremble as she pushed by him and into the hallway.

His hand caught her arm, tugging her to a stop. She turned to face him. He was saying something that she could not hear over the pounding of blood in her ears. As if by its own accord, Teresa felt her arm pull back to launch her fist into his face.

"No!" she cried, lowering her arm with an effort. He just stood there staring at her with those steely eyes, and Teresa realized that he had seen the blow coming and was just waiting for her to land it.

"Go on slug me if it makes you feel better," he said earnestly. "Get it out of your system."

Teresa shook off the hand that gripped her arm. Closing her eyes, she tried to think of the Emperor, like she had before. She pictured his face in her head, and remembered the sound of his voice. Breathing deeply, she tried to will the anger out of her and into the wooden floor underneath her feet. Yet this time it just would not wash away so easily. Instead she could feel her blood boiling just as intensely as before.

"You sure got the temper to go with that hair Teresa," she heard Pappy say. "Come back tomorrow at midday, I've got some time open then. We'll start training in anything you want, hand-to-hand, sword, knife, mace, you name it. Same thing every day until I hear back from the Imperial City. No charge, same as if you were a member already."

Now she did feel the rage begin to slip away from her. Yet replacing it was a lump in her throat, choking back her words when she tried to speak. She forced herself to turn away as her eyes began to water. Damnit, she thought, she was going to cry. Why? She had been absolutely furious just a few moments ago. Now she was a weeping willow!

Doing her best to hold back the tears, she stomped down the hallway to the foyer where she had entered. Pappy was saying something behind her, but she could not make out the words past the thunder of her own beating heart. Through her watery eyes she saw that an orc sat in the lobby, clad in fine blue velvet and reading a book. He looked up as she entered and opened his mouth to speak. But after one look at her face he shut it again. Teresa turned her eyes away from him, shoving her way through the door and out into the street beyond.

Screenshot

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jun 2 2011, 11:19 PM

[mALX]

Whew! Poor Teresa - and poor Pappy, lol. Did you mod the Orc? He doesn't have tusks !!! I wondered about that the first time I saw that screenie! This chapter left me holding my breath both the first time I read it and this time, I was never sure Teresa wasn't going to blow. I don't know how much of that was frustration, or if her anger came from a deeper place right then - but it was tangible through your excellent writing - Awesome Write (as always !!)

[Thomas Kaira]

Do I sense... Chemistry?

Teresa, you are just full of surprises! First Nerussa, now Pappy! Someone keep an eye on this girl, else all of Cyrodiil fall in love with her.

Wait...

THEY HAVE!!!



Great interactions!

[Jacki Dice]

Ok well I was going to wait until I was all caught up to leave a comment, but 18.3 made me cry.... First Helena, now you -sniff- You're stories are so wonderful. Every time I read them it makes me want to go improve mine a little. ♥

Oh and this from 21.1 made me giggle:

"But I don't want a man," Teresa made a face at the very thought of being in the same bed as one. "They're all hairy, and coarse, and smell bad, yuck!

...that's some of the very best things about men! Then again compared to soft, delicate, sweet-scented women, I can see Teresa's point!

This post has been edited by Jacki Dice: Jan 2 2011, 10:57 PM

[Olen]

You caught the intensity of her emotion well, and the rapid swing from the rage as it cooled was spot on. The believability of the characters and their realistic emotions and responses make this piece what it is, and that is brilliant. It sucked me in and held on until they'd finished arguing, great stuff.

I also see she has become a master of alchemy making potions from one ingredient... she doesn't need those stones, there's a fortune to be made in potions

And now we see the rest of Bravil as she cools off.

[Acadian]

Old business: Thank you for sharing your thoughts on how and why you break your chapters. I understand completely!

*

I had more than a faint smile all the way through this. The interaction was delicious, and superbly presented!

'"You sure got the temper to go with that hair Teresa," she heard Pappy say.'
Trust me, Pappy, I was thinkin' exactly the same thing!

'Now she did feel the rage begin to slip away from her. Yet replacing it was a lump in her throat, choking back her words when she tried to speak. She forced herself to turn away as her eyes began to water. Damnit, she thought, she was going to cry. Why? She had been absolutely furious just a few moments ago. Now she was a weeping willow!'
The contradiction that is a young woman is so perfectly presented here! Might I be so bold as to suggest to Teresa that this might have been a fine moment for the 'F' word?
In fact, I think it's high time someone presented Teresa with a poem, before that artistic orc she just saw is able to:

~Ode to the 'F' Word~
When used by a woman, as the last word,
it can make any man feel quite like a turd.
Coming from the love of his life,
such a word can cut like a knife.
More effective than a cry or a pout,
its results can surpass those of a shout.
Here is a hint, known well to old trey,
that comes from our very own dear Athynae.
Some women, when piqued might declare, "By the Nine!"
A proper young lady simply glares and says, "F***!"

This post has been edited by Acadian: Jan 3 2011, 01:39 AM

[hazmick]

Woah there! Just calm yourself young Bosmer! I reckon that instead of gathering an army at the battle of Bruma, the empire should have made Teresa get into a rage. She would be a match for Dagon himself!

I also like Pappy, he's just trying to do his job and then an angry daedroth Bosmer walks in and nearly socks him in the face--but he's prepared to take it like a man. Bravo!

I recognise that orc from somewhere, he resembles an odd Orsimer nobleman who features in a later fighters guild quest. Am I right? or have I got the wrong end of the bow stave?

This post has been edited by hazmick: Jan 3 2011, 12:17 PM

[SubRosa]

mALX: I feel sorry for Pappy too, more than I do for Teresa! My orcs are modded with Cute Orc Head Replacer, which de-pigs them.


Thomas Kaira: Not chemistry. just a woman with anger-management issues, and the poor sap who got in her way.


Jacki Dice: Awww, I am glad Vols and Brekke touched a chord in you. I always enjoy writing them, because she brings out the better parts of Vols.

Quite right about men. Those are the good parts, and its all downhill from there!


Olen: Teresa is not really a master of alchemy. I just dispensed with the needing two ingredients to make a potion a while ago. It is simpler just using one all around.


Acadian: Now that is a great poem! You gave me more than a faint smile with that!

You know I thought about using the "F" word when I was doing my revisions for that piece a little while ago. But Teresa is not as smooth and self-confident as someone like Athynae or Buffy. At least not yet. Give her time, and she will get there however!


hazmick: Teresa's fury is something else indeed. Pappy on the other hand, is using to people being furious at him! So he knows how to deal with it.

That orc is not from anywhere in the game. He is 100% original. We will be seeing more of him in the near future.


Next: Our last chapter saw Teresa arrive at Bravil and meet several new people before trying out for the Fighters Guild. Losing her temper when she learned she had to wait two weeks before she could join, she stormed out of the guild with tears in her eyes. Next, she runs back into one of those people she met before, and gains a little perspective.


Chapter 27.1 –The Lucky Lady

24th - 25th Last Seed, 3E433

Teresa wiped the tears from her eyes and looked up to find that she was standing before the statue of the Lucky Old Lady. Why was she crying? She did not feel sad. She had been so furious just a few minutes before. How could her emotions go from one such extreme to another?

As she looked on, one of the city guardsmen walked past her and stepped right up to the statue. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to the bronze of her skirt in a kiss. Then he smiled up at the statue's face high above and walked away. Teresa forgot all about her tears and the trembling in her limbs as she stared after him.

Screenshot

"See, everyone knows about the Lady!" The thin voice of Aia made Teresa start. Wiping her eyes once more, the wood elf turned to see the beggar was standing behind her.

"Oh goodness, dearie what's wrong?" The old woman's voice dropped to a somber tone as she saw Teresa's eyes, which the wood elf imagined were red and puffy from tears. "What did that man say to you? Run you out did he, like all the others?"

"What?" Teresa stammered, wondering how the beggar knew. "I don't know…"

"That Vitellus, a hard one he is," Aia said with a reproachful sound in her voice. The old woman raised a trembling arm to brush Teresa's fiery locks from her face. "Near a dozen young ones like you gone into that guild of his looking for work, and turned them all away he has. Don't you feel bad 'cause of him young lady, there ain't no pleasing that one."

"Really?" Teresa said, thinking back to the rigors that Pappy had put her through. "What does he tell people he doesn't want? Does he say to come back later?"

"Oh no!" Aia exclaimed. "Tells them right out they ain't good enough for 'em he does. A lot of them was right big fellas too, and turns them away he does."

"Oh," Teresa murmured. Then maybe the guild commander had been telling the truth after all? She could not understand why he would offer to train her for free. Yet when he had said to come back in two weeks she had known deep down in the pit of her stomach that he was lying to her. She was just a prole, the lowest of all plebeians. How could she ever be good enough to be part of a guild? He had just told her that to make her go away, had he not? She had felt so certain of it, how could she have been wrong?

"Is that what he told you did he?" Aia asked, "not good enough for 'em you was?"

"No," Teresa replied, "that's not what he said at all." The tremble in her limbs was gone now, as was the urge to cry. Suddenly she was intensely aware of how bright the sun was overhead, warming her skin with its kind embrace. Now her ears noticed the gentle tones of birds singing and the laughter of children playing. Her eyes saw the green leaves of the trees rustling overhead, and the pale blue of the clear sky beyond. Somehow the world seemed right again.

"Was it the evenin' he was invitin' you out to then?" Aia winked. "One for the ladies, that one is! Got a new one on his arm every week he does."

"No, not that either," Teresa shook her head. "I am sure I am too stringy, that is what everyone says."

"Oh the prettiest little thing ever you are!" Aia exclaimed with a smile, even though she was shorter than the wood elf. "And don't let anyone tell you different. Exotic you is with that pale skin. Men like that you know…"

Teresa had to stifle the urge to laugh. Exotic was the last word she would ever use to describe herself. Looking up at the statue, she suddenly felt the urge to lean forward and kiss it herself.

"Have you ever kissed the Lady?" she asked.

"This morning did I," Aia said, continuing to grin, "and look how my luck's been so far!"

Teresa did smile faintly then. That was enough for her. Stepping forward, she pressed her lips against the cool metal of the Lucky Lady's skirt. She was not sure what she was expecting to feel, but nothing happened when she did, nothing dramatic at least. Not that she knew how it felt to be lucky in the first place.

"Now there you go my Teresa!" Aia said, "about to change, your luck is!"

* * *

Teresa set down her mortar and pestle on the small table by her bed. Rows of potion bottles now covered it, filled with liquids of numerous colors. Looking down at her bag of ingredients, which was still packed tightly with supplies, she realized that she would need more bottles. A lot more. She had used up all that she had, and barely made a dent in the store of alchemical supplies she had gathered on her trip from the Imperial City. She would be making potions for days.

Her stomach growled as she stared at the potions. She wondered how long she had been working as she rose and washed her hands in the basin across the room from the bed. It had been enough time for the light of Magnus grow dim through her window, and as she glanced outside she saw that the fiery orb had begun to slide under the mountains west of the city.

Taking a moment to dry her hands, Teresa stared down at herself. She was still wearing her leather armor, but now at least it was clean of dust and dirt. That had been the first thing she had seen to after paying for her room. The way her first suit of armor had dried and cracked had taught her the importance of properly cleaning the leather with saddle soap and oiling it afterward.

Still, she wished she had something other than armor to wear. She had left her other clothes with Simplicia at Jensine's shop. It had not seemed important enough to carry them along with her all the way to Bravil. Now she longed for the soft feel of fine linen against her skin.

Well, there was nothing to do but buy new clothes tomorrow, she resolved with a faint smile. Just as soon as she sold some of her potions to pay for them. The room had cost nearly the last of her money. She knew that she could always make a withdrawal from the Temple of Zenithar. But that was for saving, she thought, not spending. Likewise, she could have gone to one of the cheaper inns, but she had not liked the look of them. They seemed too seedy, even for her. Silverhome On The Water, on the other hand, was very inviting with its clean furnishings, bright flowers, and the smell of freshly-cooked bread filling the common area.

She stopped to look at herself in the mirror over the washbasin and fussed with her hair. Once more her scarlet-dyed tresses had gotten out of place. She really ought to cut it shorter, but she liked how she looked with it long and swept across her forehead. Patiently working in some of the lavender-scented gel Nerussa had taught her to make to hold it in place, she worked at it with her comb and eventually put most of the locks back where they belonged.

Her stomach growled again, reminding her that some things were more important than her appearance. Wasting not another minute, she was out the door of her room and down the stairs to the common area of the inn. Even though it was a modest-sized chamber, she found it was filled with people. Most were dressed in fine linens, and several wore velvet and silk. No one wore the flax or sack cloth of the poor. Nor did anyone wear armor, except for her of course.

An Orisimer waving his hand in the air caught her eye. Looking at him more closely, she recognized him as the same man she had passed in the lobby of the Fighters Guild when she had stormed out early in the afternoon. He was still dressed in the same blue velvet clothing he had been wearing then, and his face lit up with a smile as he beckoned her to his table.

Screenshot

"I would be honored if you would join me, my fair lady," he said as she approached, gesturing to the empty chairs at his table. His voice was deep. But rather than the gruff tones she was used to hearing from orcs, his speech was measured and smooth, like the sound of a musical instrument. "I am Ancondil, and as you can see I have plenty of room. I would consider it my privilege to share your company."

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jan 23 2011, 05:04 AM

[Olen]

Good part. I'd wondered if Teresa might feel something awry when she went to the 'Lucky Old Lady' from her being in touch with thing more than the average Bravil denisen. Apparently it's better hidden than that.

I'm enjoying Bravil very much, I always thought that place was a damp, dingy deadend full of addicts and people hoping to leave before their house falls down around them, but your version is better. It also makes better sense bacuse it's so well situated for trade some people are going to get rich regardless of the count's ineptitude. I'm quickly reforming my imagining of it to match the one here

There's more development of Teresa I notice, she now has a better idea of just how good she is if Pappy has turned down so many, and she doesn't go to the cheapest inns as I'm sure she would have. Next she'll be buying vintage wine It really is impressive that you have so much character development still going after so many parts (any idea how many words? lots anyway), it just keeps happening and is what makes this piece so good to read.

Now this Ancondil person has my interest piqued...

On a less related note: Acadian - I loved the poem

This post has been edited by Olen: Jan 4 2011, 07:30 PM

[Acadian]

So nice to calm down a bit after getting so riled up from having her stones checked!

'The old woman raised a trembling arm to brush Teresa's fiery locks from her face.
This is simply beautiful, and says so very much, so efficiently!

You did a great job of using Aia to provide some meaning to what Pappy was doing. It was great to watch the realization dawn on our wood elf! To see her tears dry, the birds chirp and the sun warm her skin.

"Now there you go my Teresa!" Aia said, "about to change, your luck is!"
I love the manner of speech you have given Aia, and this is only one example. It is so perfect for her, from her 'ain'ts' to flipping her words around like Yoda. Wonderful!

'Well, there was nothing to do but buy new clothes tomorrow, she resolved with a faint smile.'
What else does she need to know? The secret of life, right there! Even better than knowing how to use the 'fine' word!

I recall Ancondil so clearly from 1.0. It is such a delight to see him return. I really look forward to dinner with him.