A New Sun Rises - Maxical's Adventures, The Truth Behind The Oblivion Crisis Options

[Remko]

Poor Andronicus
limericks are always five sentences btw. those were just rhymes

[D.Foxy]

Remko, remko, remko!!!

Clearly you have never studied poetic forms...

My light-hearted parody is not a limerick. It is a BALLAD. Ballads have a certain poetic form, as carefully crafted as a limerick.

Those of you who study poetry may have noticed that my Ballad has four lines in each stanza (a quatrain), and each line has (with a few exceptions) three feet of 4/4/6 syllables. Fourteen syllables is the classic definition of the ballad, although most 17-18th Century ballads used two alternating lines of eight and six syllables.

In addition my ballad has two internal rhymes in addition to the rhyme at the end of each line, which makes it a complex ballad, but also gives it a galloping rhythm ( Try yelling it and banging a beer mug at each rhyme. You'll see the rhythm soon enough!)

THAT is a ballad very close to the classical ballad: but since this is a parody, I have included a repeating chorus to make it more like a beer pub song.

This post has been edited by D.Foxy: May 14 2010, 12:13 PM

[Remko]

D.Foxy; I wasnt referring to your poem but to Maxical's dirty rhymes in the story.

This post has been edited by Remko: May 14 2010, 03:05 PM

[mALX]

@ Olen - ROFL!!!! Knob, I need to remember that one, can I use it? Thank you very much Olen!

***

@ Hauty - ROFL!!! Detrol...I just looked it up...SPEW!!! Thank you so much Hauty!

***

@ Destri - SPEW!!!! I almost asked if I could use it, but for the nun part, lol. Thank you ver much Destri!!!!

***

@ Zalphon - Argh, I was sure you would have come up with a good limerick too! Thank you Zalphon!!!

***

@ Acadian - Wait till you see the chapter I wrote yesterday! Agronak exposed! EW! Thank you so much Acadian !!!

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@ Foxy - I love the ballad !!!!! Thank you so much Foxy, you really got her whole story into it!!! You ROCK !!!!

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@ Ureniashtram - Yeah! You stayed! I am so glad! I just got caught up on your story today, my favorite chapter so far was the modern day Cyrodiil, I loved it! Thank you very much Ureniashtram!!

***

@ Remko - Oh, you are right! like:



There was an Orc in the Arena
whose [censored] was blue and greena
when asked if it worked
he gave it a jerk
and said [censored] [censored] someone call FEMA !!!!



The notes on racial phylogeny
say an Orc mix produces misogyny
though he'll have something dangling
it won't do no wrangling
nor anything else it oughta be




Woo Hoo! Thank you Remko, you have given me a new chapter, ROFL!! (just kidding) Thank you so much Remko !!!

***

This post has been edited by mALX: May 15 2010, 04:36 AM

[mALX]

*


Chapter 22: The Day Of The Trial



“Your message felt more like a summons, how did you know I would be at the Merchants Inn?“ Fathis asked, the smile fading from his face when he saw Hannibal’s expression.

“Fathis, if you had been here an hour ago I would have decked you and not been able to stop myself.”

“You’ve been going to the Arena again, haven’t you. You always pick up these cant expressions when you hang out there.”

“I just treated an old head wound on Maxical that by some miracle she survived, I don’t know how. She was beaten with a sledge hammer and robbed. It happened Graduation Day Fathis, remember how you stood in her parent’s stead that day? Didn’t you think in doing that it was your responsibility, your duty to see she made it home safely? It was late afternoon when you left, did it even occur to you that she would be walking home alone in the dark? She lay in the road all night, then crawled into the Rumare and lay in it all day with a crushed skull.”

“What? Dear gods, she mastered in Destruction and Conjuration! Traven I never thought anything could come against her that she couldn’t beat…it never occurred to me!” Guilt overrode the shock and constricted Fathis‘s stomach.

“She is a child Fathis. She was alone and frightened in the dark on one of the worst stretches of road in Cyrodiil. Abandoned by the one who gave word to her parents he would protect her as they would.”

She had suffered due to his neglect. She could have been lost forever. The image of her face as he ranted at her for selling the armor…she had looked unwell. She tried to tell him something then but he hadn’t listened to her in his rage.

“Dear gods, I ranted at her for selling that armor.” Fathis barely whispered, looking away.

“I know, she told me. The Khajiit that nearly killed her stole that golden armor from her and pawned it. You should have known better, this is the same child you have known these years, the blue show hasn’t changed her.”

“You know I care for her. Had I thought…”

“Are you capable of marriage Fathis? It requires you think beyond yourself. There is no place for suspicion and temper in a relationship. The women you’ve known before can’t be a guideline for how you think Maxical will act. I warned her I doubted your ability as husband because of your past.”

“I can’t see her go to another, Traven. But you are right, I don’t have a history of finding good women.”

“You found exactly what you sought, your only interest was in turning Cyrodiil into your own private brothel. Marriage requires you bring something to it other than your [censored] and your Septims. The child is devoted to you.”

“Now that is wrong Traven. I have not touched her, not a kiss or even held her hand as she has done with that Orc.”

“What?”

“It’s the truth.”

“Fathis…I think I need a glass of wine after that statement. When do you plan to declare your intentions to her? And here, read this chapter on why you need have no qualms about that Orc.”

“…Good gods, so he…can’t?”

“Maxical said he doesn’t even give off the aura of a man.”

“Then why does he…oh! He wants a beard so no one knows he can’t?”

“Exactly. Now what is your reticence in letting Maxical know she is the one?”

“She is not even legal age Traven. She is only months off of being my ward. It doesn’t feel right, not now. I want to declare in the way of the Royals, the whole ceremonial announcement of engagement to let the men know she is taken. Then wait a few years before marriage. And the marriage has to come first before I touch her.”

“You might be sitting on an empty urn if that is your plan. You can’t just say ‘she’s mine, don’t touch’ then back off and leave her alone. Not everyone will consider your engagement as a barrier. And loneliness can cause her to bond with someone else, just as she did the Orc, someone who can perform.”

“Sitting on an empty urn Traven? I don’t even want to know what that is supposed to mean. Of course I plan to court her.”

“I hope so. You seem to be going about this all wrong Fathis, if you ask me. Young girls like romance, love, passion. Your itinerary sounds dry, stale, lifeless. Most certainly not romantic or passionate.”

“Since when are you an expert on women? I can’t just mount her like a stud in the stable, I want people to know my intentions with her are marriage, not just the bedroom.”

“I hear over 150 girls Maxical’s age chattering daily, that makes me an expert. And your goal should be to impress Maxical, not ‘people‘. Fathis, she is young. You need to sweep her off her feet and elope to Anvil. Spend a few weeks on the beaches there. She knows you love her, but all that formality is going to leave her wondering if you desire her. I hope to hell you weren‘t thinking of honeymooning in Castle Bravil with Count Regulus Terentius. I‘m not sure which would be worse, seeing Irlav Jarol‘s face or your Count’s during a romantic holiday.”

“Traven you really need to quit hanging around that Arena. Your language…besides, I think Maxical would like being at the Castle.”

“I think she would tear it down to the ground by the third day. And how does the Count feel about a Khajiit living in his Royal quarters? You may want to build the two of you a home somewhere else…and don‘t even suggest your tower.”

“You may be right about that, I gave Maxical a tower much nicer than mine, she said she’d die in the streets before living in a tower like that.”

“I’ve spent every day of the last almost six years with her, I could have told you that. Give her fun and excitement, I swear I am getting bored just listening to your plans for the two of you. And I‘m your age, just think how it will sound to a young girl.”

“Well thank you Traven.”

“You would have reason to thank me if you were listening to a word I said. You know how to have sex with a woman, but not how to have a relationship. You know how to inspire a momentary fling, but your version of romance is as inspiring as a prison sentence.”

“Are you quite done? I have some things to do…”

“I give up on that, just don’t say you weren’t warned when some young blood makes her heart pound and she takes off to Anvil with him. Here, read this book, ‘The Khajiit Mystique’ and see if you pick up any pointers since you won’t listen to me. That will tell you everything you need to know about enticing a Khajiit, their sexuality, sensuality, their cycles. They are monogamous to whoever starts them into womanhood you know.”

“Really? No wonder male Khajiit smile so much, they have no worries.“

“Don‘t leave yet, I want you to read something else.”

“…Dear gods, what does this mean?”

“It is another reason it was such a miracle Maxical survived that attack. She can’t heal herself, someone has to be around to do it for her. I’m researching alternative healing methods that she may be able to use. I’ve sent for Alix.”





******* Alix

“What’s the mail doing coming this early?” Alix watched through the window as the rider leaped off the steaming horse. “S’Jirra, go get the mail, will you?”

S‘Jirra peered down from her perch on the ladder where she was stretching to dust the wall hangings. Alix took another sip of coffee as he continued to watch out the window.

“S’Jirra, hurry your feet. They are almost at the door.”

Glancing down at her dampened dusting towel S’Jirra descended the ladder, twirling it tightly as she stepped onto the wooden floor of the dining room. With a flick of her wrist she snapped the towel, popping the end of it across Alix’s butt with a loud CRACK.

Alix turned around, his eyes lit with mischief. “Got you to come down now, didn’t I? Come here, let Abhuki get the mail. Let‘s you and I go dust upstairs a while, hmm?” He pulled her to him. “You owe me big time for the welt you just put on my butt, let me think of some way you can pay off that debt.”

“You’re lying Alix, you didn’t get a welt from that. It didn’t even hurt you or you would have said OW.”

“I’ll show you the welt, but I‘m not baring my butt in the dining room, come upstairs and you can see it.”

“You’re just tricking me into going upstairs Alix, I’m not stupid.”

“Okay; I’ll drop my drawers right here so you can see the welt, and Abhuki will walk in and see my business.”

“Alix…Alix! What are you doing! Okay, I’ll go upstairs with you!”

“Ha ha ha, you are so easy!” Alix laughed, then ran up the stairs with S’Jirra close behind, snapping the towel at his butt the whole way. Each time it hit Alix jumped and yelled, “OW!”

“Alix, it is something from the Arcane! Hannibal Traven wants you to come right away!” Abhuki yelled from the door before they had rounded the landing on the stairwell.

“Does it mention Maxical? Let me see that.” Alix turned around, buckling his pants back up.

“It has to be about her, what else could it be?” S’Jirra pushed by him and grabbed the missive. “I don’t like the sound of this Alix, there are no pleasantries at all. It sounds…dire.”

“Get me my boots S’Jirra. I’ll be home when I get here.” Alix left his breakfast untouched and started loading his pack.

He took off at a run. By the time he made it to the Imperial City the streets were buzzing with news of Maxical’s arrest. Should he go to the Palace and try to get Maxical out or see Hannibal first?

With relief he caught sight of Fathis and grabbed him by the shoulder. “What’s going on Fathis?”

“I’m trying to get hold of a lawyer friend of mine. They said she conspired to rob that Orc she’s befriended.”

“Fathis, two things. Maxical would not steal, and the Orc isn’t capable of doing anything you are worried about.”

“I know, Traven just told me…er…have you talked to him yet about Maxical?” Fathis looked hesitant to be the one to tell him.

“What is it Fathis?”

“I would rather Traven tell you while I get that lawyer so Maxical isn’t left in there any longer than need be. Traven is still at the Arcane.”

“You’re right. Will you stay in town please? There are some other things I know about that Orc that I think you need to be aware of. I may need your help later if you don’t mind. I plan to take care of a few…er…things while I am here.”

“Yes of course, I’ll be at the Merchants Inn. I have a huge suite, you are more than welcome to bunk down in there if you like.”

“I accept, and thank you.”





******* Jack Thompson

Jack tapped his thumb against the table in annoyance. The Elders had not returned, if it was much longer they would call it a night.

That last vision of a frightened child looking to him for help was such a paradox to the confident young woman that held her own in that hearing, or described the best ways to pierce someone with her sword. What was bothering him about this? Something was nagging at him.

He pressed his thumb hard into his temple and reviewed everything he had on Maxical. She was the impish orphan that tormented their hearings at the prison, one of the reasons they had been moved to the Palace.

The same little demon that nearly destroyed the Arcane while there…Jack sat up and stopped pressing his thumb into his temple. That was it, the Arcane. Hannibal complained about her constantly, but said the cost of the damage was all absorbed by Fathis Aren, another of Jack’s school chums. Maxical was Fathis’s ward, he had met her at the orphanage the same day as the pigeon incident.



*

This post has been edited by mALX: May 15 2010, 05:55 AM

[haute ecole rider]

Yeah, Hannibal the Cannibal! That's telling that s'wit Fathis off!

I hope to hell you weren‘t thinking of honeymooning in Castle Bravil with Count Regulus Terentius.

!!!!
That just made me spew! I think I just woke everyone up, too.

I had to Google Jack Thompson. mALX, you are genius!

[Destri Melarg]

It’s about time that someone took Fathis to task for his continued treatment of Maxical. The idea that the ‘someone’ would turn out to be Hannibal Traven is a surprise that could only have come from you, mALX.

“There is no place for suspicion and temper in a relationship.”

HA!!! Tell that to my ex!!!

[Olen]

Hmm things begin to straighten themselves out. Great piece, I won't spam your thread with all the parts which made me laugh.

But I have to put up some:

I swear I am getting bored just listening to your plans for the two of you. And I‘m your age

Brialliant.

No wonder male Khajiit smile so much, they have no worries.

Classic... This is great and just keeps getting better.

[Remko]

I really love your rewrite. Imo it's more mature but hasn't lost anything on the funny dpt. Awesome!

[Acadian]

I thought your interaction between Fathis and Hannibal was very good. Similarly, the interaction between Alix and S'Jirra was quite cute and seemed very natural.

It is truely a pleasure to see your passion for Maxical in your writing.

Nice job, mALX!

I had to google Jack Thompson as well.

This post has been edited by Acadian: May 15 2010, 06:12 PM

[minque]

mALXie, mALXie....like someone already said....you're a pure genius! Like the cat-lover i am I particularly love this kitty-sweetness!

yes yes I've visited Maxical's myspace....awesome! I'd honestly like Serene to meet her, gotta think seriously about that!


S.G.M

[mALX]

@ Everyone - I wrote out all the responses to these and before I could post them our electricity flickered and I lost it all. ARGH!!!! So I will not be as eloquent this time, lol.

@ Hauty - I googled him too. I needed a lawyer connected with Elder Scrolls and did not want to use the head of House Indoril, lol. Jack earned the right by defending Oblivion against the M rating, even though he lost. At least now we know where he is working since his disbarment. I just hope if he ever sees my fanfic he approves of what I did with him, I promise not to skewer him as I have a habit of doing with some characters in my stories, lol. Thank you so much Hauty!!!!!

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@ Destri - I thought Hannibal would do it better and with less drama than the original with Alix, but you know...I don't see Alix not saying anything. It would be out of character for him, so I am still going to have to tackle that down the road. Not sure when or how.

RE: EX's - aren't they all like that? I think that is why they become X'd in the first place. Suspicion is such a waste of time, too. I mean, if the spouse is going to cheat, being suspicious won't stop them. (fail)

Thank you so very much Destri!!!!

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@ Olen - ROFL!!! Fathis is a mess, lol. Thank you so much Olen, you ROCK!!!

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@ Remko - Thank you so much Remko, I really appreciate the feedback on that!!! I have been thinking if I can find a place to tie it to the current story I may edit the old chapters and insert these, lol. I do like them better myself. Thank you!!

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@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian!!! I re-did those dialogues right before posting because it was a lot of telling. Turning it to dialogue just made that chapter for me. Don't feel bad, I googled Jack myself, lol. You ROCK!!!

***

@ Minque - Thank you so very much Minque!!! I have done a lot of crossovers in the original story, so would def be willing - especially since I think our characters have a lot in common !!! As some of Maxical's long time readers know, Foxy has several characters coming into the story when she leaves the Arena, Treydog and his wife Mrs. Treydog, she meets Acadian's Buffy, SubRosa's Teresa, Zalphon's Zalphon, etc. I like the idea of Tamriel being one big place where people can run into each other and become friends!!! Thank you again Minque!!!!!

This post has been edited by mALX: May 17 2010, 12:38 AM

[mALX]

*


Chapter 23: Jack Thompson


Jack drummed his thumb on the Courier in a rapid beat. Maxical’s arrest came one day after Fathis challenged Agronak, and Maxical left him to run after Fathis. She swore the ring was a behest, but Agronak’s actions with the press were designed to give the impression it was an engagement. Jack believed Maxical. Why did the Orc do that? Was his ego that big?

Agronak thought Maxical was dumb, that was obvious. He expected her to be frightened, crying. He would be a hero to her by insisting the charges be dropped. But instead she had been angry, cunning, and came in well primed for the fight by Andronicus.

None of this would get Maxical out tonight. Scanning back through the years to that prison finally brought the elusive memory Jack sought, and the answer he needed. Fathis met Maxical the day of the pigeon incident, not ten full years ago. She was just a tiny spot of white fur then! She was a minor! She was adopted out of there…the Blademaster that trained recruits for the Legion adopted her…Alix Lencolia, the one she said trained her in Blade. She must be a runaway.

Jack leaped up from the chair. The sun had sunk below the trees, the Elders would not be back. He hurried to Ocato’s chambers and caught him just as he was leaving for the day.

“A Khajiit you say?” Ocato sneered. “That case was continued till tomorrow.”

“Don’t make the mistake of assuming because she is a Khajiit she is not connected Ocato. This minor child is the ward of Fathis Aren of Castle Bravil. She is closely connected with Arch Mage Traven of the Arcane University, and her father is Alix Lencolia, Blademaster for the Imperial Legion. You cannot even begin to imagine the pressure that will come to bear on this Council should she be left sitting overnight in jail. I will disturb Uriel Septim in his chambers before I let that happen.”

Four very angry Elders called the hearing back into session.





***

“Fathis, I just got your messages.“ Jack hesitated in the door when he noticed Fathis had company.

“Come in Jack, I’ve tried to reach you all day. You know Alix Lencolia…”

“Alix, you are just the man I was going to ask Fathis how to find. I’d like to speak with you about your daughter if you don’t mind.” Jack shook Alix’s hand and duffed Fathis on the arm. “Fathis, I owe you one.”

“How is she?” Fathis and Alix asked in unison.

“Here, come in and make yourself comfortable.” Fathis said, handing Jack a bottle of sparkling water and a stemmed glass. He indicated a comfortable chair with a tray of fruits and cheeses on the table in front of it.

Jack lowered his athletic frame into the chair and began digging in his satchel for a Parental Release form as he answered.

“The charges have been dropped and her record expunged. She will be released within hours. I didn’t know how to get hold of you Alix, so she is being escorted to the Arcane till I could get your signature on this. Until this incident we had no idea she was a minor. She fudged her age and had herself listed as an orphan on her application. After the hearing some of her history came out. That jogged my memory of her at the orphanage, I realized then she must be underage and remembered that she had been adopted.” Jack pushed the release form in front of Alix, then pulled a quill and inkpot from his satchel and lay them beside it, uncorking the ink.

“What a relief!” Alix blew air noisily as if the tension was flowing out of him with the sound. He glanced over the release form and signed it.

Jack scooped it up quickly and inwardly gave his own sigh of relief.

“Why was she arrested in the first place?” Fathis asked, looking directly into Jack’s eyes.

Alix leaned forward and watched Jack’s expression.

“I believe Agronak was miffed because she chased after you, Fathis; and did it right in front of the press. He seems to have an ego the size of Cyrodiil.”

Alix had suddenly become catlike in his movements. Too smooth, his eyes hooded. Jack shook his head. He didn’t blame the man, but Alix and Fathis together could not weigh in as heavy as the Orc. Where would it all end?

“I hope you both realize it would be a conflict for me to represent you. I won’t defend Agronak either. The Arena is my client, not the Orc.”

“But you could refer someone?” Fathis asked.

“Don’t shop lawyers before committing a crime, that gives the appearance of premeditation. If in the heat of passion you attack someone and are arrested, I have a card here, someone I trust.” Jack pulled a business card from his satchel and handed it to Fathis.





***

“Was Maxical scared in the hearing?” Alix was watching Jack intently.

“No, she was angry. She was excellent in there.”

“Good, she thinks better when she‘s angry.” Alix said, his eyes lighting up.

“Can you tell us anything?” Fathis asked, looking just as interested.

Jack’s description included discovering Maxical was the same child that had caused the hearings at the prison to be moved to the Palace, detailing incidents to the delight of both Alix and Fathis.

“I never heard any of this. Phillida was afraid I would back out of adopting her.” Alix said quietly. “He couldn’t wait to push her out the door, even sent her mother‘s behest on the pre-adoption visit. Oh you should have seen her, so afraid I would change my mind if she showed any of that spirit of hers. It was enough to break your heart. We already loved her, nothing they told us would have changed that. We couldn’t wait for the mail to run for the letters from the Arcane when she was there.”

“I hadn’t heard these stories either Jack. But your knowledge of her activities at the Arcane is sadly lacking. Alix and I can fill you in on much more than that. Why don’t I order dinner sent up here for you, I’m sure you are hungry.”

“I’ll have a vegetable platter, thank you Fathis.”

When Fathis left the room Jack smiled over at Alix. “She has your knack of arguing. She argued the case with the Orc, I didn’t even speak. Afterward she still had enough gumption to argue her citations with me. I asked her if you taught her to argue and she said no, that she showed you a thing or two.”

Alix laughed. “She did.”

“You will be happy to know that Ysabel Andronicus has been guarding over virtue like a mother hen.”

Fathis returned just in time to hear that. “Not…”

“Yes, the very same. She has taken a liking to the child and has seen no harm comes to her. Maxical likes her too, er…except the hygiene problems.”

Alix looked curious. “How do you know Andronicus, Fathis?”

“She used to stalk me.”

SPEW! “Excuse me.” Alix said, wiping up the spray. “Well the Blue team runs a tight ship, I wasn’t that worried about Maxical in there. The Orc is incapable of harming her, and she is smart enough to stay close to Owyn and Andronicus.”

“I was ready to kill that Orc till I found out his attentions to her were more in the nature of a beard than a beau.”

“I beg your pardon?” Jack struggled to keep the surprise from showing in his expression.

“Hannibal Traven told me about the Orc’s little problem.” Fathis said.

“I already knew about it these twenty years or more.” Alix said.

“You mean…the Orc?”

“Exactly. It seems I was jealous for nothing, literally.” Fathis drawled out the word literally.

“I find this conversation very informative, and am really grateful I had no beverage in my mouth at the time of that little disclosure.” Jack said, a rare gleam twinkling in his eye.

That explained why the Orc was livid over her chasing after Fathis. More than his huge ego, he was protecting that little secret from public knowledge.

“Fathis, the Orc told Maxical that ring was a behest from his mother. I believe her. What little I know of her is enough to swear she would not have taken the ring if she knew the Orc just bought it. He set her up, probably to cover his secret.“ Jack said, leaning forward and watching both Fathis and Alix’s face. Neither looked surprised.

“This is not the first time he has pulled that little trick. He did it to Maxical’s mother S'Jirra twenty years ago.” Alix said quietly.

Jack sat bolt upright in his seat. “Go on.”





***

“Fathis, I will see what I can do about that golden armor for you. Blank cheque?”

Fathis nodded. “Of course. Say Jack, are you planning on going to that music festival in the Arboretum? Hannibal and Alix are meeting me here and we are going together. You are more than welcome to join us.”

“It will be my pleasure to attend with you, appreciate the invitation. I am looking forward to another invitation as well Fathis. When can I expect an invitation to the wedding…or am I mistaken?”

“You are not mistaken.”

“I never thought to ever see this day, Fathis! Congratulations!”

“It is…complicated at this time. She doesn’t know exactly. She knew, but thinks I called it off.”

“Well you should remedy that. I must say Fathis, I like this new side to you.” Jack barely recognized his staid friend in the animated man before him.





***

A knock on the door interrupted Jack’s breakfast the following morning, the messenger handed him a missive from the prison and hurried off. A brief scan of the contents dispelled any relief the signed parental release had given him. The guards escorting Maxical had lost her somehow. It didn’t take much imagination to realize she would return to the Bloodworks…without the presence of either Owyn or Andronicus. Gils could be trusted under those circumstances, but Owyn had a Bloodworks full of prisoners that arrived just before his arrest.

Jack hurriedly dressed and left his breakfast untouched. As soon as he reached his office he sent the runner down to the Bloodworks to find out if Owyn had returned yet and if Maxical was there and safe.

A strange sound began echoing around in the Arena. Jack went to his observation deck and looked down in time to see his runner stumble out of the Blue team chute and fall to his knees. He leaned back his head and shrieked, the sound so high pitched that had Jack not seen the person emitting the sound he would have sworn it was a girl screaming.

The runner stumbled forward trying to rise from the Arena floor but could not seem to stand. He began vomiting and was crawling through it as he continued to try and get as far away from that chute as possible. Was that blood all over him?

Jack smothered the impulse to vault off the balcony in order to save time. Instead he broke into a fast run, ignoring the office runner’s cries for help as he shot across the center of the Arena to the Blue team chute.

When he pulled back the door it was like stepping back in time to his service with the Imperial Army. The vision of every battlefield he had been on echoed through his mind as his eyes tried to take in what lay before him. Mutilated bodies everywhere and enough blood to have repainted the Arena red with it.


*

This post has been edited by mALX: May 19 2010, 04:21 AM

[haute ecole rider]

Ooooh, this is beginning to sound an awful lot like my first pre-arrest scenario for Julian (which I discarded as it just didn't fit her nature in the game)!

Another good chapter!

[D.Foxy]

W.H.A.T!!!!



After all this brilliant rewriting, I have just one question...


HOW ON EARTH are you going to marry up this emerging new storyline with your old one???!!!???

[Olen]

I can only agree with le renard, What?! I might even go so far as WHAT!!!!11!1!

That's quite a cliffy you have there, what's happened, how? I need to know. More.

Good part otherwise too, I liked you're filling in of the back story and things coming together. It was fun to read and moved things forward well. I'm really into this story now and like the characters and whats happening.

“This is not the first time he has pulled that little trick. He did it to Maxical’s mother twenty years ago.” Alix said quietly.

As if one major hook wasn't enough.

More?

[Remko]

Oooohh.... a mystery. I have a sneaky suspicion about the massacre in the Bloodworks
So, are you gonna use that hook (Agronak conning Maxical's mother) in your other story?

[Acadian]

Like Remko said, 'Ooooh a mystery!'

I don't have any suspicions or clues though. Nope, not a one. I sure had fun reading this though.

[Destri Melarg]

Just when it appears that the worst is over for Maxical! Unlike Remko I have no suspicions or ideas of what’s going to happen next! You MUST hurry and update this, the suspense is killing me!!!

I withdraw every supportive comment that I have ever made about Agronak. Maxical’s mother? Seriously? What was Shivani thinking? To be fair, I guess I must acknowledge that Shivani and Maxical are not individual characters as much as they are forces of nature . . . like hurricanes. They move through Cyrodiil leaving trails of destruction, dead fish, and pigeon droppings. Yet at the center of the storm they remain calmly oblivious to the carnage that they have wrought.

[mALX]

@ Hauty - ooh, that sounds interesting! Thank you so much Hauty!!!!

***

@ Foxy - Er...I thought Damien Reynard would do it!!!! Lol. I know what you mean, this is now past thread one. Chapter 24 on the original was The Mission...

Thank you so very much Foxy!!! - PS: I loved that gift you made for Rumple!!

***

@ Olen - Thank you so much!! Woo Hoo, you know Foxy's Reynard? Damien (Foxy) Reynard is on his way if Maxical can ever get the H out of the Arena, lol.

***

@ Remko - There is a twist coming up on that massacre, I may as well admit it, lol. If I can tie this story into the original somewhere I will def be moving the whole thing over and replacing the original with it. Thank you so much Remko!!!

***

@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian! It has def taken on a life of its own. I considered taking her straight to Janus via Foxy (bypassing the Thieves Guild), but I hate to lose S'Krivva from the story. I don't know about anyone else, but I loved S'Krivva's role in it.

***

@ Destri - Thank you very much Destri!!! Er...well. I may need to edit the story to make it more clear. I was worried at the time I did it that it may be a bit ambiguous for those that are up on Maxical's history, and I should have written it differently at the time, this is my fault. I will go back and edit that, I am sorry everyone, I think Foxy & Remko thought the same thing.


@ EVERYONE: I apologize for leaving a wrong impression with that, the mother that Alix referred to is S'Jirra (because at this point in the story no one knows who Maxical's real mother is yet) I apologize to everyone who's mind I inadvertantly blew with that. I am fixing it, and I am so sorry. It was S'Jirra.