A New Sun Rises - Maxical's Adventures, The Truth Behind The Oblivion Crisis Options

[D.Foxy]

AND NOW THE BURNING QUESTION UPON MINE ...AND EVERYONE'S LIPS:

WHICH ARTIST WILL TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE, AND DRAW THOSE DAMNED CARTOONS???!!!???

[mALX]

AND NOW THE BURNING QUESTION UPON MINE ...AND EVERYONE'S LIPS:

WHICH ARTIST WILL TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE, AND DRAW THOSE DAMNED CARTOONS???!!!???

YES! Er...Rachel...Raaaaachel...

[haute ecole rider]

You asked for nits, so here's what I picked out:

These men had fought together before, that was obvious by the teamwork they displayed when they cornered me in the chute.

This seems just a little awkward. Would this sound better to you: That these men had fought together was obvious by the teamwork they displayed when they cornered me in the chute.

Jack’s eyes startled and he leaned over staring when he saw Coco jump on me, one of the few times I’ve seen him register surprise

I think started is a better choice here, especially when you want to indicate that Jack's eyes bugged out of their sockets.

Another awkward sentence:

As I was lowering my head I saw it, the other prisoner!

Try this, would it flow better to you? As I lowered my gaze, something caught my eye. The other prisoner!

Yet another awkward sentence, this has more to do with chronological order:

Battlemasters are not allowed on the Arena floor during a match, one for foul language, and one for his combatant refusing to fight.

How about: A citation for a combatant's refusal to fight, one for the violation of the proscription of Battlemasters on the Arena floor, and one for foul language on said floor.

A typo:

Jack, I was no where near…the cage was very light and tipped…

The monkeys scared nowhere into separating into two words that do not accurately convey your intention.

[mALX]

You asked for nits, so here's what I picked out:

These men had fought together before, that was obvious by the teamwork they displayed when they cornered me in the chute.

This seems just a little awkward. Would this sound better to you: That these men had fought together was obvious by the teamwork they displayed when they cornered me in the chute.

Jack’s eyes startled and he leaned over staring when he saw Coco jump on me, one of the few times I’ve seen him register surprise

I think started is a better choice here, especially when you want to indicate that Jack's eyes bugged out of their sockets.

Another awkward sentence:

As I was lowering my head I saw it, the other prisoner!

Try this, would it flow better to you? As I lowered my gaze, something caught my eye. The other prisoner!

Yet another awkward sentence, this has more to do with chronological order:

Battlemasters are not allowed on the Arena floor during a match, one for foul language, and one for his combatant refusing to fight.

How about: A citation for a combatant's refusal to fight, one for the violation of the proscription of Battlemasters on the Arena floor, and one for foul language on said floor.

A typo:

Jack, I was no where near…the cage was very light and tipped…

The monkeys scared nowhere into separating into two words that do not accurately convey your intention.

Thank you so much Naughty Haute!!! I fixed all nits !!!!! You ROCK !!!

[mALX]

*


Chapter 66: The Ape Woman



How could Hassiri dub me Ape Woman? Nicknames like that stick. And those cartoons…ARGH!

I was still fuming when Fathis sent a message in. I began scribbling a note telling Fathis I couldn’t see him when Gils imitated an ape in front of me, curling his hands into his armpits and making a raucous noise. I scrunched the note and swept past him, shutting the Bloodworks door with force.

Fathis looked like a cat with a canary in its mouth as he held out a gift box to me. “I brought you a present. I got this from the Bruma booth on the midway.�

“Enchanted greaves! How nice, Fathis! Athletics and acrobatics enhanced…what? What is this?� I pointed to a word stitched across the back of the pants.

Fathis’s eyes lit up with mischief. “Their name…‘Monkeypants’. The midway is already selling monkey souvenirs for your fans, too.� Fathis reached inside his cuirass and pulled out a stuffed monkey with oversized eyes and a toothy grin. “See? The long arms are sewn together so you can drape them around your neck. I saw several women wearing them…�

“How could they make these so quickly?� I held up the stuffed monkey.

“Tony has been selling them for years. He handles the apes and his wife runs the booth. It’s set up on the midway. Vendors were buying them up before she opened this morning.� Fathis was struggling not to laugh.

“ARGH! I will not be known as the Ape Woman!�

“It’s too late!� Fathis choked out.

If I slammed back into the Bloodworks, Gils would continue to tease me now that he knew it bothered me. Fathis wouldn’t. I turned my back to him, flattening my ears.

“Aw! Ma'Thjizzrini Qa, I only sought to bring a smile.�






***

“How could Hassiri call me that? He’s supposed to be in my corner!�

“He was trying to show you in a good light with beasts to break the image of you as a bear killer…although…�

“What!�

“Er…you should know…Urjabhi’s interview with the man Tony infers you incited the apes into their rebellion.�

“I incited them?� My voice squeaked.

“Tony said you became obsessed with the little monkey Coco, following him around till he thought he must call the guards to complain of you stalking him…�

“I paid him thirty Septims to play with his monkey! I only followed him because he walked away! Fathis, stop laughing! I never saw a monkey before, he wore a tiny outfit with a little hat…nothing was ever so cute…he brought me joy.�

Fathis’s voice became strained. “Tony said you scared off his other customers. He said you were…hounding him for his monkey.�

Fathis choked the last words out, visibly struggling to keep laughter back. “And now they all have…diarrhea from your treats…�

“What is with Urjabhi’s problem lately? Does he have an axe to grind against me?�

“Hassiri said Urjabhi is angry over the Lovidicus interview. It stepped on his toes since he now covers the Orc. The brothers have to work this out between them.�

“But they’re putting me in the middle of it!�

“Best stay away from any beasts till they resolve it then.“






***

“Ma'Thjizzrini Qa…there is something very important I must do tonight in representation of Castle Bravil. It would mean much to me if you were by my side. I don’t ask often, I ask this of you.�

“What is it?�

“Uriel Septim accepts his Birthday gifts tonight. It’s a lot of pomp and ceremony…but I will be called to give the present from Castle Bravil. I want you by my side so I can present you to the Emperor.�

“Me? Fathis…I am Khajiit, Emperors don’t meet beast species. Besides, I have nothing to wear…or give.�

“I’ve never seen him discern races in all these years. He is led by the Dragon Blood as to whom he trusts. I already chose a gift for you to present, and will gladly choose a dress for you…�

“No! I…don’t know how to wear one. It would feel awkward.�

“Your new glass armor sets off your coloring beautifully. Ma'Thjizzrini Qa, when we are married next year it will be your duty to be there…�

“Why now, then?�

“Because…his health has taken a turn this year. He doesn’t sleep well…nightmares. Should something happen…I don’t want you to have missed meeting him in person. It is an experience to carry through your lifetime and share with children and grandchildren.�

“They’ll have you to tell them about it…�

“Ma'Thjizzrini Qa…Mer, we live exceptionally long. Men do not. I feel this chance…may be the last for you to meet him. Trouble has come to him that he does not share, his eyes reflect time is ticking too quickly past for him. I ask this of you…for me, please?�

Fathis spoke truth, he had never asked a thing of me in all these years. I felt churlish giving him a hard time about it.

“Okay Fathis…I’ll go with you.�

Fathis took my hand. “Thank you, Ma'Thjizzrini Qa.�








***

“Would you like to see the booths on the midway?�

“Yes! Do they have a booth that covers apples with caramel? I bought one to eat, but gave it to the monkeys.�

“Don’t get me laughing again.� Fathis choked out.

“I have to see Hassiri first, though.�

The Imperial City was filled with crowds of tourists. The Market District was so packed it was almost impossible to negotiate through. Vendor’s stands and tents were thrown up anywhere space permitted, some even dotting the middle of the streets.

A laughing crowd was gathered around the door of the Black Horse Courier, blocking our way. I wiggled through and put my hand on the knob, then froze.

Stuck in the window was another cartoon. Haki kicking the prisoner, who was up in the air...lines coming from him indicating he was still flying from the kick. I was standing next to Haki saying, "No, no! Like this!" and had one leg doing a kick.

"Look! It's her! The Ape Woman!" The crowd started yelling. Oh dear gods.






***

The booths were exciting, selling things the stores here never had. Fathis said the merchants were livid, complaining to Ocato that the vendors were ruining their business.

One young Nord sold sugar spun till it was lighter than air, colored and flavored with the juices from berries. He had to crank a bin on a pulley rapidly, removing his shirt as he became heated from the effort. Crowds of women were gathered to ogle his bare chest glistening in the sunlight. The spun sugar tasted so good it made me feel lightheaded.

One stand had two men standing on opposite ends of the booth pulling something into stretchy ropes between them. It turned out to be a stiff candy, the man called it ‘taffy’ and it came in different flavors.

Fathis hadn’t lied, several women were walking around with stuffed monkeys hanging around their necks. My face turned purple whenever anyone pointed at me and I heard, “Isn’t that the Ape Woman?� I jabbed my elbow into Fathis for choking whenever it happened.

I caught sight of Gils as we walked around, his arms loaded down with some exciting looking things. He was alone...I breathed in relief.

Gils seemed to be handling our breakup…too well. His mat was still pulled up close to mine in Andronicus‘s corner…but he never reached for me in the night, even when he knew everyone was asleep. Was he over me already? Moving on? Just the thought gripped me with pain.

Fathis was watching my face, had he seen me looking at Gils? I spoke the first thing I could think of.

“Where are all these people staying? Is there enough hotels in the city for them all?�

Fathis hesitated before answering, still watching my face.

“No, and it’s been a big problem for the Legion. Many were going door-to-door banging and asking for a room. Some got in fights when turned down. Traven said the healers are being run ragged. The Arcane set up a tent for healing if anyone gets ill. The idea was to give practice to the senior class who majored in healing. He said the tent stays full of tourists who couldn’t get hotel rooms, they only want to sleep on the cots.�

The Imperial City buzzed with noise; vendors hawking their wares…tourists exclaiming at everything like they never saw a building before. The streets were overcrowded, strangers jostling and staring as if the locals were insects…rudeness. Maybe it‘s the entitlement of one who spent so much to visit, I don‘t know. Too many acted as if we were naught but extensions of the servants at their inns, walking up and demanding directions or assistance.

“I have to get back, Fathis…clean up for tonight and get Andronicus to polish my armor.�

“Is there anything else you want from the booths?�

“More spun sugar…caramel apples…oh! And more of that fudge…and taffy, just the black colored.�

“Ma'Thjizzrini Qa…I will get you what you wish, but you may need the healers yourself if you eat any more sweets. These things make your stomach hurt if you have too much…and you already have.�

“I wo ee m ill oni…� I tried to swallow and start again. “I won’t eat them till tonight.�

“You’re already eating them now…�

“Well just this, then I’ll stop.�

“Ma'Thjizzrini Qa…there is caramel stuck in the fur all over your face. Will it stain?�

“I don’t know, I never had it before. It’s on my fingers too.�

“Make sure you get it all out before tonight.�

“Maybe I shouldn’t go…�

“I want you there, Ma'Thjizzrini Qa. Er…I‘ll kiss you tonight after you‘ve cleaned up, otherwise you’ll get the velvet of my suit sticky.�








***

Gils’ mat was covered with the things he bought from the booths. They were items one would give to a girl. Oh dear gods, were they for Horski?

“Where is Gils?� I asked Andronicus when I handed her my armor to polish.

“He’s in the bathing room.�

I felt a sharp intake of breath. “Alone?� I barely breathed it, but she heard me and nodded.

I dumped my pack, turning first one way then the other. Everything in me screamed to join him in there.

“Your face is covered with something.� Andronicus’s eyes showed she understood. “Better go clean right away before you get it on everything in here.�

“Thank you…�

I hurried in, turning quickly and bolting the door as if I didn’t know Gils was in there. I tried to feign surprise when my eyes fell on him bathing.

“Oh…I didn’t know you were in here…“

“Yes you did.�

“I have something all over me…�

“Caramel apple. I saw it at the midway.�

“It’s sticky.� I ad-libbed.

“I’m not going to sit here and make small talk or play games, Maxical. Pinarus sent the deed, I’m ready to go. You have to decide, either you love me and our marriage stands…or the vows you swore with me meant naught to you. When I make Champion I’m moving to Anvil so I won‘t have to see you with Fathis anymore. You will be with me if I ever meant anything to you.“

“I can’t…he’ll kill you next time, Gils.�

“Maxical, why hasn’t he started you? The man has bedded all of Tamriel, why are you still untouched? I’d wager even after you’re married a year your show will still be blue…unless you take a lover. The man has no desire to bed you, is that the marriage you want? You know what we had between us, can you really give that up for the farce he is offering you and calling marriage?�

“I’ll owe him everything he has spent…�

“Then we’ll pay it. We have a home now, we’ll eat. You’ll have to give up saving for the Golden Armor, we can both give him our take from the Cage Match. He can‘t take you from me…unless you want to go.�

“He’ll hunt you down if I go with you, Gils. Besides, it’s not just me. What about Agronak? He is here again, you know that was him that killed the bear. And he was following me.�

“I know it was him. I’ll talk to Hannibal about ways to fight his mind control. Did you see the presents I bought you on my mat?�

“Those are for me? Not…Horski?�

Gils splashed me. “Jealous?�

“Maybe.�

“Are you going somewhere tonight?�

“I’m supposed to meet Uriel Septim.�

“Then see what I bought you first.�

There was a toy ogre that hopped around when you compressed the springs in his legs; a funny bird that would fly a short ways if you twisted his legs; a pillow made to look like a mud crab; one of the stuffed monkeys; and an egg made of chocolate, when I ate it there was a tiny wooden doll inside.

I stuck a Septim on the ogre’s head with chewing gum and made him hop around Owyn’s feet. While Owyn tried to get the Septim, Gils got the Pits betting on the ogre or Owyn. Everyone roared at Owyn’s attempts.


*

This post has been edited by mALX: Aug 4 2016, 04:43 AM

[haute ecole rider]

Seems to me someone has spent a lot of time at the carnivals this past summer!

I had to laugh at the bare chested Nord surrounded by women. Reminded me of the Waffle Man surrounded by university girls!

[Acadian]

Maxical doesn't need chewing gum or carmel. Trouble follows and sticks to her without it. Lol.

When it comes to Fathis and Gils, I am still kinda hangin' out for door #3. Janus is starting to sound better.

But, on the other hand, poor Maxical seems to have no idea what she wants. Confused kitty and confused suitors. Gils wants her and she says no. Why? Blame it on mean ol' Fathis (cuz Maxical doesn't know what she wants). I think all of this is brilliant, and in a headspinning way, realistic.

How wonderfully you are presenting the Imperial City in festival mode! Nice job capturing that.

[Destri Melarg]

“I paid him thirty Septims to play with his monkey!”

If you insist on leaving a curve like that hanging over the plate, then I am duty bound to put it over the fence! Dearest Maxical . . . I know Fathis won’t start you and Gils won’t quit Aggie, but paying a man to play with his monkey seems a little hard-up, don’t you think?!

I am really glad that Ma’Thjizzrini Qa accepted Fathis’ invitation. The fact that he only calls her by her given name indicates a respect that I don’t feel echoed in Gils. I know that Fathis has put many a foot wrong in their relationship. Perhaps in presenting her to the Emperor he seeks to put a foot right. On the other hand, one can almost hear Maxical's heart skip a beat whenever she thinks of Gils. And trinkets from him seem to move her more than the most expensive gifts from Fathis. I think her heart (if not her mind) has already made a choice.

[D.Foxy]

GRRRRR.....I hate Destri....he has hit my softball...


Er..





...


:blush:



... what I meant was....




...never mind.

[treydog]

If I slammed back into the Bloodworks, Gils would continue to tease me now that he knew it bothered me. Fathis wouldn’t.

Fathis spoke truth, he had never asked a thing of me in all these years. I felt churlish giving him a hard time about it.

Interesting insights. Maxical sees, but I am not sure she observes.

The other thing that Maxical has yet to learn is that “reporters” are on the side of whatever sells papers.

Even though Agronak’s mind control has been revealed, I still have a hard time trusting Gils. I guess I have known too many “players” to be certain of his motives. He appears willing to risk Fathis’ murderous anger, and he claims that he is sincere- but we only have his word for it.

As for Fathis, his motives appear more transparent to me, but no better. His treatment of Maxical still has an air of “ownership” instead of companionship. Again, that may be my naturally suspicious reaction to older men around much younger women.

Yes, like Acadian, I am still holding out for Door #3 or even Door #4…

I do hope you understand that my doubts about the “male leads” are not intended to be critical of your story-
telling skill- just the opposite, in fact. It is because you have given them such vivid and complete personalities that I feel the need to caution the poor confused kitty. BTW- vegetable oil or peanut butter will get rid of most of the caramel. But Maxical should probably stay away from elephants for a while…

The foreshadowing of Uriel’s demise adds a great deal to the story.

[Rachel the Breton]

mALX, my internet has been down for awhile...again...that's another story. Anyway, I'm at work now waiting for a call to test things...and I brought my personal laptop just so I could read this story, LOL. Great stuff!

The monkeys were hilarious...and "Ape woman"...priceless! And your way of introducing Uriel is excellent as well!

If I slammed back into the Bloodworks, Gils would continue to tease me now that he knew it bothered me. Fathis wouldn’t.

Ahhh...haven't we all met both types of people, the Gils' and Fathis'. And you capture them so well, with their character quirks and shortcomings. Inconsiderate, often self-centered -- often, but not always, and exciting and a lot of fun if their life and yours are going in the same direction. Or tries to be considerate, but often misses the big picture or the important details; not necessarily as fun or exciting as the Gils type, at least until you give them a chance, but generally dependable and trustworthy. Sometimes age is a factor, and sometimes it's just maturity, sometimes it's personality, and sometimes it's a combination of factors... Both are, above all, though, human. Beautifully done! As for Maxical...Fathis was her childhood crush...now her love for him seems to have matured into something else...is it the strong, lasting love that comes after the butterflies stage passes? Or has she simply outgrown her childhood love to find that her "love" is better as a cherished friendship? I've no doubt it would be easier for Maxical to tell if love and passion were still a factor in her relationship with Fathis if Janus wasn't...interfering.
With Gils, she's still very much in the butterflies stage. Is their relationship strong enough to live beyond that? Again, if not for the interference of "Aggie", she might find it easier to figure out.
And, of course, there's Janus. However...this new Janus makes me want to get out some garlic, wild roses and, of course, stakes! Any one feel like joining my "angry mob" and hunting down a nasty vampire? (Because this Janus is a nasty one, lol!)


Anyhow, I am totally rambling. I just wanted to let you know that I love this story, and the very real, human characters you bring to life in it. Few authors can create characters that you "know". You do it. These people are not cardboard cut-outs of human beings; they're real. They're good, they're bad, they're everywhere in between. Thank you for doing such a superb job -- it is a privilege and a pleasure to read!!!

This post has been edited by Rachel the Breton: Oct 29 2010, 03:23 AM

[mALX]

@ Naughty Haute - Don't I wish!!! I usually go to the fair every year, but this year I had too much going on to go. I am nuts about the food booths and the midway - don't ride the rides much because I'm a puking kind of person.

Thank you so much Haute!!! That chapter you posted last - I could read that daily and never tire of it !!!!! AWESOME Write !!!!!! You had me screaming and hooting at my PC, Lol !!!! (truth!)

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian !!! I loved your "trouble sticking to her" comment !!!

Maxical is confused, you are right. Plus, she is not taking any responsibility for her own mistakes in what is going on either. She was sheltered and spoiled all her life, (and this is her first four-five months on her own). She needs to mature, begin thinking about other's needs and realize how her actions affect others.

(like how she flaunts Fathis before Gils, (not thinking how that will affect him) but feels jealousy thinking about him with Horski, etc.) - she is immature yet.

She needs to learn that she is the master of her fate and the captain of her soul (take responsibility for what happens to her and get her own self out of trouble when she gets in it)

Gils is her first real boyfriend, first kiss, first everything. That is a very hard thing to walk away from - especially when you are still living with the guy, lol.

* But, she has a very real fear of Fathis killing Gils...and a dread of Aggie being a part of Gils.

Fathis was her childhood crush. They could have built on that and become a couple, but now there has been time and distance - and another man.

If it hadn't been for Janus (altering Fathis's behavior and messing with his equipment) - he would be in a lot stronger position. She trusts Fathis. They have twelve years of closeness between them and he has always been there for her...till now, when it is critical, lol.

He hasn't had a chance to start a relationship with her due to Janus's spells - and the longer it goes on that he doesn't, the better Gils is going to look to her.

Thank you again, Acadian!! You ROCK !!!!

***
@ Destri - Thank you so much Destri !!!! ROFL!!! I can't believe you beat Foxy to that one!!!! ROFL !!!!

You pegged it on the gifts, she does not see values at all. (and can't add). Add to that the fact that, everything she has ever wanted has come too easily, she has not faced any real struggle yet.

It would really be good for her to have to exist on her own and not have someone else paying for things a while so she could learn the value of a Septim, ROFL !!!!

This next chapter will take her on a road to growing up a bit. Thanks again Destri !!!!!

***
@ Foxy - I wrote that with your humor in mind, too !!!! ROFL !!!! Thank you so much Foxy !!! This next chapter has a paragraph or two with you in mind as well !!!!

***
@ Treydog - Thank you so much Treydog !!!!

You are so right about the reporters!!! Hassiri lets his brother slam her, then gathers the bribes to write a retraction - both are front page news, ROFL !!!!!

Fathis - he has changed some towards dropping the ownership, but not enough. He still has a ways to go with that.

Thank you so much for the kind words on the characters, that means tons to me to hear coming from you !!! Your subtle growth shown in Athlain - that is as realistic as it gets !!! People don't change over night, but over time - Athlain's maturity has developed so realistically that it is almost like being a parent and watching a child grow!!!

But Maxical should probably stay away from elephants for a while.

SPEW !!!!!!! You ROCK Treydog !!!!!!

***
@ Rachel - One of the things I love so much about getting any comment from you is that you pick up on every nuance of the characters that I tried to bring out in them - motivations, weaknesses, strengths - it is AWESOME to know that what I was trying to show in them actually came through !!!! You ROCK Rachel !!!! And you were spot on with everything you said, absolutely everything !!!! Thank you so much for everything Rachel !!!!!

This post has been edited by mALX: Oct 29 2010, 12:23 PM

[mALX]

*


** Uriel’s poem he gives Maxical is Invictus, by William Ernest Henley


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.





*** There is a cameo in this chapter of an unknown Bosmer Janitor…which some readers may recognize.





Chapter 67: Uriel Septim VII


Fathis’s deep loyalty to Uriel Septim VII was a part of him as long as I’ve known him…loyalty is not a strong enough word, it barely scratches the surface of how he feels about the Emperor. That Fathis would lay down his life in a heartbeat for Uriel was a given.

The gift Fathis chose for me to present was wrapped in fine gold cloth. “A robe.� He whispered to keep me from peeking, then explained how to present it to the Emperor when we were called.

“What did Count Terentius send?�

“He doesn’t send, he has me choose a gift and purchase it.�

“Then reimburses you?�

“I asked for reimbursement once, the healers had to be called when he saw the receipt. I don’t ask anymore.�

Fathis elbowed me to stop scowling at Ocato as he approached. He waved us forward, calling out in his high pitched voice, “Fathis Aren, Court Mage, representing Castle Bravil with guest Mapisqua.�

Fathis glanced at me to make sure I didn’t draw down on Ocato for mispronouncing my name. I was too nervous to care.

Fathis was renowned for his diplomacy…I’d never heard him in action before. He was amazing…impressive. His rapport with the Emperor was tangible. Uriel trusted him, I could feel it emanating from him…till Fathis drew me forward and introduced me.

The second Uriel Septim’s eyes landed on me he froze mid word. His face paled visibly as if he was seeing a ghost. Fathis was wrong about him not seeing race…I should never have come…

Being armored, I could only sink to one knee and lower my head as a man would, there is no way to curtsy when armored without looking a fool. My stomach felt as if it had been punched from the humiliation.






***


Almost woodenly Uriel waved me to come forward. Fathis tugged me up, guiding me to stand in front of the throne.

“Forgive me Sire. I have no place in your presence…� I cringed inside from the look of dread in the Emperor’s eyes.

"You ...I've seen you…� He motioned me closer and his liaison hurried over and grabbed my arm, escorting me up the steps to the throne.

Should I keep my knees bent and walk like a mud crab so my head would remain below the Emperor‘s? Fathis had stayed behind, I glanced back at him with a look of desperation. So discreetly that I wasn’t even sure I really saw it, Fathis moved his hand in a downward motion. I sank down, keeping my head bowed.

“Let me see your face…“

My breath did a quick intake as I looked up. I had only seen the silvery hair from a distance before. Here, just feet from him…he was handsome. The 87 years left no evidence on his face, no lines marred it. His eyes were sharp…the color of the Rumare in a storm. The silver hair enhanced, framing with one unruly lock tumbling on his forehead like a youth. His build was slight, but powerful…a warrior.

People said you couldn’t walk a step in Cyrodiil without tripping over one of his natural children. Seeing him in person…yes, I could easily understand how women’s hearts could pound for him.

How beautiful he was…but his eyes reflected tension, his jaw rippled with it…and it had to do with me, that was clearly seen in his eyes. A deep red flush of humiliation crept across my face…the Emperor didn‘t trust me.








***


“You are the one from my dreams…� It was barely a whisper said under his breath.

His bearing went from that of someone who held the responsibility of many to one who faced his own mortality. His eyes reflected exhaustion…and mortal dread in connection with me. Fathis said he was having nightmares, does he think me an assassin?

"Nightmares…of me? Sire, I would throw myself on my sword before allowing harm to come to you…�

"I know my doom child, you are not it. The Dragon blood runs in the veins of all Septims. It gives us the power to see things other men cannot. The stars guide our paths, and the wisdom of the Gods is given us. I have seen your face in my dreams."

That explained the nightmares, royalty seeing beast species in their sleep. I grabbed my tail to still its swishing.

"You dreamt of Khajiit?�

“Not Khajiit, child. It was you …an omen of ill times ahead.�

I gasped. He may as well have said jinx. That superstition about albinos being jinxes…the painful memories of being taunted as a child resurfaced. I hadn’t been called that in years. Fathis was wrong about Uriel, he was as prejudice as Ocato. My eyes burned with tears that I fought against shedding in front of him...and anger at Fathis for insisting I come.

“I’m no jinx, Sire.� It was barely a whisper, but he heard.

"You misunderstand me, child. In you I behold a new sun rising, coming to banish the darkness…the dawn of Akatosh's bright glory. With such hope, and your promise of aid…my heart must be satisfied. The age to begin service is twenty-one, do I have your promise to return so I can prepare you for what lies ahead?“

"Huh? I don’t…understand, Sire."

He leaned forward, frustration dawning; his face close enough to mine that his breath played over my whiskers. His eyes like sea storms pierced into mine. His voice remained quiet, but I felt the steel beneath.

"You gave your promise to Akatosh, your life in service to him as well as that of your first born …in exchange for a life that was in danger of passing. Do you know of what I speak now?�

Gils! The floor felt like it rocked beneath me. My hands gripped the thick carpet to keep from falling as a wave of nausea surged up to my throat. Shock kept me from sobbing aloud…or screaming. The tears I fought earlier flooded now. I turned to Fathis, desperate…Fathis, who had always saved me…make this stop.

Fathis’s face had turned as white as me. He was staggered, having to grip the ornate post beside him to steady himself. I watched him struggle to plant his feet so the Emperor wouldn’t see him weak. With shock I realized…Fathis couldn‘t save me from this.






***


“It is as you have said…except…there is no child as I am but seventeen years old. I am clumsy…accident prone. Even my mother says I haven‘t the brains of a tree stump. I‘m…unqualified.�

Uriel’s expression was a myriad of shock, confusion, fleeting hope…and anger.

“It‘s too late, your destiny is out of your hands now. You can’t make promises to Gods and Emperors without intention of keeping them. You feel shock now, but you must realize this is an honor detail. Do you understand my meaning?“

I understood. He spoke the language of a warrior. I must consider it an honor that Akatosh chose to use me, whatever the task.

I thought I would strangle my throat was so taut. Alix prayed to Akatosh all his life…Fathis too, begging to serve but was denied. I pray once and Akatosh pounces like a hungry leopard just days later.

Uriel looked…aghast... I felt shame, acting the child before the Emperor. Obviously I had no choice but to accept with as much dignity as I could muster, especially after the way I just humiliated myself. I straightened, looking directly into his eyes.

"Then I give you my word Sire. I will act when commanded, and hope I perform my duties in a manner that befits the honor given me in being chosen for the task. You have my promise."

Uriel nodded. "You cannot see what is in the stars for you as I have, but Akatosh has seen the path you have yet to walk. The task given you will be greater than everything you find important in your life at this time. You must prepare, for there is little time before it befalls us and Cyrodiil will need you.�

Uriel placed his hand firmly on my shoulder, not speaking. His eyes searched mine deeply till it felt like my soul was scraped raw. As if coming to a decision, Uriel pulled a yellowed parchment from the pocket of his robe, silently read it…then pressed it into my hand.

“You charted your own course, child. Nothing is random, but a product of our actions. Think about that when you read this poem. Carry it with you as if a great treasure. One day I hope you will find it is.�

“Thank you, Sire.�

I held out Uriel’s gift as Fathis had instructed. It was a robe more beautiful than any I had ever seen before. The purple velvet was richly thick, the ruby silk trimming was brushed to a high sheen and patterned with gold thread. The collar was a fine white fur. Hannibal had enchanted it heavily to reflect spells and damage from attacks, and to fortify the Emperor’s health.

Fathis gave him a cuirass with the same enchantments, it had a dragon emblazoned on it in gold. That was supposed to be from Castle Bravil. Uriel was highly pleased with both gifts.

Before we backed from his throne he spoke again.

"Do not tarry, child. You must be ready. Remember my words and heed them.�







***


“Ma'Thjizzrini Qa…that day in Anvil…your face, the damage to your hands…I know the suffering that wrought the promise to Akatosh. This is my doing. I will offer myself in your stead to the Emperor’s service. You are too young to stand responsible for that promise.�

“I…I just want to go home Fathis. I can’t talk about this…right now.�

“Home?�

“The Bloodworks.�

I wanted to run into the Bloodworks and slam the door behind me. Instead my feet barely raised off the ground, each step seemed an eternity.

Gils took one look at my face and grabbed a Pit. “Get Hannibal…now! OWYN!�

Owyn took one look at me. “Oh [censored]!�

I felt darkness closing over me and welcomed it.









******* High Chancellor Ocato


Ocato sat at his desk, his eyes taking in nothing except the thoughts racing through his mind. He pressed his fingers together, letting a smile play at the corners of his lips. A cadenced tap broke the silence, then the door slid open. Seconds later a tall Altmer in appeared as he dispelled his chameleon.

“What news have you, Ocato?�

“Akatosh has given him warning as we feared. There is good news, however. Akatosh has chosen a champion…one that could not be better for our purposes. I think you will be quite pleased.�

“You call this good news?�

“You will as well, when I tell you who it is. For a more inept helper could not have been handpicked by yourself. It is an albino Khajiit, a self-proclaimed idiot. Even Septim was aghast after meeting her. He has done nothing but beseech Akatosh since he met her.�

“That nut from the Arena I‘ve been reading about in the Courier? The Ape Woman?�

“The very same. She bawled like an infant when Septim told her. And here’s icing on the cake, Akatosh gave Uriel to understand the champion would be 21 when trouble befalls him. The albino is but 17, I have her documents right here! Septim insisted on seeing them. He has been lulled into a false security, believing he has time now.�

“How could this be? Akatosh can’t be wrong! Could Uriel have spoken to the wrong one?�

“There is only one albino Khajiit in Tamriel, it is she. She has already had Septim awakened twice in the middle of the night sending men begging to serve in her stead. Septim nearly choked denying them, especially Fathis Aren.�

“Aren! It’s a relief he was denied, he would be trouble. What skills has she?�

“Some sword skills, otherwise she’s useless. Very easy to eliminate.�

“No. She must live or Akatosh will send another more qualified. I have some good news as well. Lord Dagon joins his force to ours. We will be unstoppable.�

Ocato’s smile stiffened to a frown after Mankar Camoran slid silently out. Camoran was as dumb as Akatosh’s new champion to bring Dagon in! Dagon‘s own agenda would supersede any mortal’s plans, Cyrodiil would end the way of Old Mournhold! What use would power be over deadlands?

Ocato rose suddenly from his chair, nearly tipping it. Could Camoran suspect he would become dispensable after the deed was done and be making plans of his own?

Having Camoran’s cult clear the throne, bringing the rule of Tamriel into Ocato’s hands…it was genius. But Mankar Camoran was power hungry. He needed to be watched.

Ocato hurried into the corridor, nearly slipping across the wet floor where that disgusting little janitor was scrubbing.

“Watch what you’re about, idiot!�

“Sorry, Boss.� The Bosmer tipped his hat to Ocato, a snaggle-toothed leer splitting his ugly face.


**

This post has been edited by mALX: Aug 4 2016, 04:47 AM

[Acadian]

Maxical's interactions with the Emperer were priceless. The gravity of the situation punctuated with her so very 'Maxicalish' internal observations and reactions was magnificent. That whole scene was truly one of your very best! Bravo, mALX!

Ah, so Ocato shows his true colors, and they are neither loyal nor pretty.

I think I know who the janitor is. I'll let Friend Foxy confirm whether I'm right.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Oct 29 2010, 01:53 PM

[haute ecole rider]

Oooh, yes, I quite agree with Acadian concerning the scene between Uriel and Maxical. This is much better written than in the previous version, and is so much more memorable. This chapter has a definite feel of a significant plot advancement.

You're right about Maxical needing to grow up and realize the consequences of her actions. This is a great start to that process that all of us must go through - eventually.

I'm looking forward to more!

[treydog]

“I asked for reimbursement once, the healers had to be called when he saw the receipt. I don’t ask anymore.”

And there is an example of what I mean by characterization! Even people we may not meet are given vivid traits. Plus the fact that it is funny.

The scene with Uriel, on the other hand, is pure drama. (And that is a very good thing, indeed.) A great strength of your story is that we know so much of Maxical’s background, and can understand her confusion over the Emperor’s reaction and words.

I pray once and Akatosh pounces like a hungry leopard just days later.

That’s the god’s for you- they’re just like parents. They ignore you until you wish they weren’t looking, and then you can’t move for tripping over them.

And I see Ocato is up to his scrawny neck in the plotting.

Dagon‘s own agenda would supersede any mortal’s plans, Cyrodiil would end the way of Old Mournhold!

Love the way this brings in Marooned Dragon’s previous attempt to destroy the Mundus.

This chapter foreshadows the darkness that is to come, but it also shows that Maxical has greatness ahead of her.

This post has been edited by treydog: Oct 30 2010, 01:25 AM

[mALX]

@ Acadian - Thank you so very much Acadian !!!! Your kind words mean a lot to me !!!! (and you guessed right!!!)

***
@ Naughty Haute - Thank you so much Haute!!! I agree, I like this one much better than the original too. And yes! Maxical def has to do some maturing !!!

***
@ Treydog - Thank you so very much Treydog!!! Especially since you clarified that !!! I was thinking, "OH NO! Drama!" ROFL !!! (WHEW! What a relief !!!!) Before I got your answer I started editing like a banshee, but I love the edits, so it was a good thing, lol.

The first two you quoted were among my favorite sentences in the chapter.

You and your writing have inspired me in a lot of ways, You ROCK !!!!!

This post has been edited by mALX: Oct 30 2010, 11:34 PM

[mALX]

** There is a cameo of an unknown recluse living at the Tiber Septim


Chapter 68: Jakben Imbel


Gils told Owyn he was going to seek audience with Uriel and offer himself in my stead, since his was the life the promise was made for. He was gone when Owyn and Hannibal helped me to my mat, but when I woke up later he was laying beside me on my mat…his arms wrapped around me, the familiar feel of his chest beneath my cheek.

It seemed forever since we had slept this way. I knew every beat of his heart, every breath, every sound…the aroma of him came alive in my nostrils. I breathed him in deeply, and for just a few blessed seconds I could almost believe it was before we went to Anvil…that none of this other ever happened.

Then reality crushed the moment, stealing those seconds of dreamlike state where anything is possible. How can so many things deteriorate in such a short space of time?

It was truth, I gave the promises to Akatosh fully from my heart. At the time I was so desperate, I would have offered my soul to Clavicus Vile to save Gils…I may have for all I know.

My anger at Fathis for insisting I go tonight…it’s wrong, I know that. Akatosh would have found another vessel to extract his promise if Fathis and Uriel had not been available, of that I have no doubt.

Even realizing this, I can’t seem to let it go or forgive…because I blame it all on the promise Fathis holds over me. The situation would never have come up if not for that.

Fathis would not have come to Anvil, but for that promise. He wouldn’t have been scouring Anvil seeking to kill Gils. Gils would have walked home with me…safe. Instead he was in Crowhaven being attacked by Agronak. There would have been no prayers to Akatosh if Fathis had never come.

Gils was right, Fathis has no notion of being with me…he’s just claiming me as his right, ownership bestowed on him by that promise. That statement is defined even more profoundly at this moment, laying here untouched…in the arms of the man I swore marriage vows with.

That promise wasted precious time and life, just wasted it...and suddenly they are slipping away so fast I can’t grasp quick enough to get them back. It‘s like trying to hold sand…the tighter you squeeze your fingers together, the faster it slips through them.

What I’m feeling now, laying in Gils’ arms...I don’t think another man exists that could make me feel this. And I had almost lost him.

Gils’ breathing changed, he was waking. I moved in closer to him, thankful to feel him still come alive at my nearness…my touch. We had barely begun when Owyn woke, shouting and rousing everyone.

“What the hell is going on now?� Owyn stomped over and stood over us, staring. “Come on, we’ve got to get to the Merchants now!� He continued to stand staring. We got up.

“I’ll move our mats back into the bathing area when we get back tonight. It’s better you tell Fathis first anyway.� Gils’ eyes glowed with passion again, they hadn’t done that since our breakup.









******* Janus (continued from page 24, chapter 56)


The Imperial City was ridiculously crowded, dangerous for an ancient to be wandering. Janus hurried from the Merchants to the only other inn worth bribing the Publican to drop a reservation, the Tiber Septim. The rooms were not just reserved, they were already occupied...mostly by some recluse that hogged quite a few of the rooms for his own use.

The scent of an ancient had come strongly as Janus crossed the quad to the inn. In a spur of the moment decision he decided to beard that one in his lair.

“Jakben Imbel. Long time no see…“

“Even longer since I’ve heard that stupid platitude. Cut to the chase, Hassildor.�

This wasn‘t starting out well. “How do you fare, Imbel? I’m in town for a few days, but it seems the festivities have all the hotels filled. Would you be so kind as to extend some hospitality to a brethren?�

“Amazing how suddenly everyone claims kinship on the flimsiest pretext when looking for a handout. I don’t relish company…�

“These crowds and the heightened security…It’s dangerous out here for our kind.�

“I don’t want it to get dangerous in here for me, Immortal. It will be easy for you to sleep well with me under the same roof…I can‘t say the same for my own sleep with you in here.�

“I’m not into murdering my hosts. Come, we’ve dealt with each other in the past, why the lack of trust now?�

“That was on your turf. This is mine…and I can’t help but wonder what has brought you this far from your lair…�

“I’m not poaching, if that is your concern. I’m here to choose a bride and return to Castle Skingrad with her.�

“You mean you’re here for your chosen?�

“I don’t have one. I thought I’d attend the festival, there should be a large selection of women there…�

“That’s a lie. You’ve met the chosen one, it‘s writ’ all over you.�

“Hal-Liurz had some notion about a girl, said she saw it in her hist tea grounds.�

“Oh, I see. She’s a virgin, and you think you’ll have the blood instead. You won‘t be able to, you know. The nature won‘t let you, it’ll protect the one.�

“Hal said that too, I didn‘t know if it was true. Chosen or not, I can’t marry her. You know that my father arranged my marriage with Rona to further my political career. This time it will be a bride of my choosing, my tastes.�

“I wish you luck bringing home the wrong bride, and it will be since all you are seeking is large breasts and pouting lips…or were you thinking pouting breasts and large lips? Either way, you’ll find plenty of that in this town…especially now, when everyone in Tamriel is here. You’ll have a smorgasbord to choose from.� Imbel put on a condescending expression, making sure Janus saw it.

“I never realized how unnerving it is to have one’s secret innermost thoughts read.�

“Learn to blank your mind then. What‘s wrong with the chosen?�

“She’s fine enough for me, but not to be Countess. The people of Skingrad would never accept it. I don‘t want to buy trouble that could end in my nature being exposed.�

Jakben snorted. “They won’t accept the one you were thinking of either. She looked like she’d be more comfortable working on a street corner…under a lamppost.�

“Touché’. I’m sure I’ll find a middle ground somewhere in that festival. If you’re worried I’ll find your farm in the basement, I already smelled it. Your secret will remain with me…although I find you abhorrent for it.�

“I don’t like you either Hassildor. I suppose if I don’t give you a room your scruples may give your conscience trouble about my basement?�

“Do you imagine I will run to the guards? I can’t, as you well know. As disgusting as I find what you do, you have my word your secret will remain with me. I am a gentleman, my word is good.�






***

Jakben hesitated, then gapped the door slightly more. “At least mine don’t find themselves at the bottom of the Rumare like Seridur‘s. I’d rather make a slave than a corpse to dispose of. I’d appreciate it if you find somewhere else to go as quickly as possible. As I said, I don’t relish company…yours even less than most.�

Janus stepped into the entry and glanced around. “You have quite a mansion here. I read about your acquisition of it. Very nice. I thought by now you would have secured a son to pass it on to.�

“I’ve got time, and other interests than settling down and producing right now…not that it‘s any of your business. Besides, women take as kindly to my basement activities as you have.� Jakben surprised a laugh out of himself at Janus’s expense.

He continued talking over his shoulder as he led the way up the stairs to the private quarters.

“I prefer my quarters for meals. If you insist you can join me there.� Jakben stressed the word ‘insist’ as he pointed to his suite at the end of the hall, then opened a door and let Janus into a well furnished room.

“I do think I would prefer your company to that of your man servant.�

Jakben snorted. “He’s loyal.�

“This room is very nice, I appreciate the hospitality.�

Jakben grunted, then made his way to his own suite, calling over his shoulder as he walked away. “Gentleman’s hours on the meals, none of your Colovian country ways here. If you feel hungry between times call Gemellus Axius. He’ll bring you something.“






***


“You have a good wine collection here, Imbel.�

“I don’t need you to tell me that.�

“I was just making conversation.�

“Did I look like I was in need of one? If you tell me how nice the weather is, I’ll have Gemellus poison your food. You being immortal it won’t kill you, but it will make you as sick as your amateur attempts at conversation are making me.�

“You seem a bit rusty yourself. Crusty may be a better term.�

“That’s the way I prefer it. You are here in my lair, I didn‘t invite you to come. You plan on trying to pick up women in this town with that inane drivel you call conversation? You won‘t get far.�

“I was not trying to pick you up, you have no idea what conversation I have.�

“Don’t I? Prosing on and on about Daedric Lords and the blasphemies…may as well discuss crop rotation. Women don’t want to hear that kind of thing. You’ve been out of the loop too long, Hassildor. You’re going to flop on your face out there.�

Jakben was echoing thoughts that had gone through Janus‘s mind as well. At age seventeen he had good looks and a future ahead of him, women fell across his path easily. Even though he was a Count now, he was fanged and pink-eyed...and could only offer joint isolation. The plan to approach and hit on women had sounded easy in Skingrad, but to actually begin doing it had begun to feel a bit daunting.

“You have a point. It’s been over fifty years…of course I’ve held conversations with Hal-Liurz and the prostitutes.�

“They’re both paid to pretend interest, you can’t use them as example.�

Janus paused before answering. Would they have found him as interesting if not paid?

“You‘ve had over 300 years experience, what is your approach with women you aren’t acquainted with?�

“Well I don’t prose at them or debate scholarly subjects. That’s your idea of a warm-up to romance, and the reason you have to pay them to listen. You want to learn, your best bet is to let Vicente teach you a thing or two. Smooth as silk, he is. He juggles three or more women constantly, they beg him for his favors. …You’ll run into him.�

“Why, is he coming here as a guest?�

“Not likely, unless like you he claims a relationship that doesn‘t exist. No, he’ll be after your chosen one. He’ll latch onto her scent like a bloodhound. HA! Get it?�



*

This post has been edited by mALX: Aug 4 2016, 04:50 AM

[treydog]

Then reality crushed the moment, stealing those seconds of dreamlike state where anything is possible. How can so many things deteriorate in such a short space of time?

I think we have all experienced that moment between sleep and waking, when the disaster that has overtaken us is still just a bad dream... and we try to hang on that threshold where everything is still perfect. The whole scene as Maxical begins to think of what is lost was perfectly, poignantly written. Of course, she still seems to be missing her role in all of it- except as a victim of circumstance.

“I wish you luck bringing home the wrong bride, and it will be since all you are seeking is large breasts and pouting lips…or were you thinking pouting breasts and large lips?”

And there went my morning tea.

Janus’ and Jakben’s interaction was wonderfully creepy, especially for a Halloween night. You again show your remarkable talent for quickly and clearly defining a character.

And what a way to begin the intricate, amazing interaction between Janus and Vicente- with a certain white kitty at the center of it all!

This was a great way to start my morning.

[Acadian]

Trey already pulled a couple super lines. This was wonderful!

I loved Maxical's circuitious rationalization in blaming everything on Fathis. Young girl thinking on display!

The interaction between Jak and Janus was priceless as well. Quite simply perfect.

I hope Jak doesn't get a hankering for some unused kitty blood! Maxical has quite the list of hungry fellows sniffing around already! 'Course, one word to Gils and Maxical could get those vamps with their virgin fettish off her tail. In fact, things are looking better for Gils. After all his competition is an old guy with ED and two vamps.