A New Sun Rises - Maxical's Adventures, The Truth Behind The Oblivion Crisis Options

[Zalphon]

Good chapter, Malx

[Destri Melarg]

I thought the description of Janus discovering his powers was excellent. I also thought that including the buxom Signy Home-Wrecker was inspired; it looks like Faustina Cartia may not have been the mastermind behind the Sirens. I loved the conversation between Janus and Signy, and I will just assume that Jak is hedging his bet by sidling closer to the stronger vampire.

I do have one small issue with your treatment of vampirism. I know that in the game a vampire who has recently fed can survive in direct sunlight without too much trouble. But Janus, having never fed, can do it due to the simple expedience of finding some shade. By that logic it stands to reason that any vampire can walk through daylight with impunity as long as he/she is willing to carry along an umbrella! That takes a bit of the ‘curse’ off of vampirism doesn’t it?

[treydog]

She nodded. “Thirty without that Jagar Tharn cowl.“

“His was green…”

Oh- you meant his cowl was green. For a moment there I thought… never mind.

And we discover how Signy arrived in Anvil. I enjoy the way you portray Janus’ unyielding, archaic sense of privilege and propriety.

“It’s a convention from Fangs-R-Us. Any more pink-eyes coming?”



And the wheels continue to turn with Maxical at the center.

[mALX]

@ Foxy - ROFL !!!! Your poem made me HOWL, (as did your later comment, lol.) You ROCK!! Thank you so much Foxy!!!

***
@ Naughty Haute - ROFL !!! Great comparison to The Rodney!!! Thank you so much Haute !!

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian!! I appreciate hearing you say that! Oh, I could see Signy getting into it with that healer in Anvil!!! ROFL !!!!

***
@ Zalphon - Thank you so much Zalphon !!!!

***
@ Destri - Thank you so very much Destri! I was worried about that scene, it means a lot to me that you thought it was done well !!!

On the vampire issue - that may explain why the one time I played a vampire I died constantly. The WIKI says the sun damage is reduced by shade, cover, and cloudy skies - it still occurs, but at a much lesser rate. I could have made him only come out for the evening hours, I guess.

Janus (being immortal) doesn't have to eat regular food or sleep to survive. He drinks wine because he likes it, (I've never written a scene where he is eating anything).

In order to keep from re-writing the two chapters (and losing all the comedy of his role in the Imperial City) I will give this vid as my inspiration. (see below)

It is clearly Janus Hassildor as a full vampire walking around in BRAVIL. His face gets red, so he is taking sun damage, but it does not kill him because he is immortal. This vid actually is what got me interested in using Janus in my story. It seems he has a bug that causes him to roam Cyrodiil. He has made sudden appearances in caves while you are clearing them, etc.

I hope this makes up for my not rewriting those two chapters, if not - let me know and I will work on them. (Lol, but serious). :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxmhFIGTplE

***
@ Treydog - SPEW !!! EW, green! EW !!! Thank you so much for your kind words on Janus's portrayal Treydog!!!! That is a huge compliment coming from you !!!! (When I first saw it I thought it was a reference from Dominick Dunne - Power, privilege, and justice - Lol !!!) You ROCK !!!!

[Destri Melarg]

I hope this makes up for my not rewriting those two chapters, if not - let me know and I will work on them. (Lol, but serious).

No worries, mALX. It's not a deal breaker or anything. It's just something that I noticed, but it doesn't take away from the overall quality of your last chapter. Forget I brought it up.

The footage of Janus in Bravil is hysterical!

[Winter Wolf]

Awesome writing mALX!!

It was such a great idea to have the vampires all swirling around each other while they try to become the suitor of Maxical. The image of an albino kitty standing at the center of all this male madness is so cool!

I guess that is why they put the 'man' in the word manipulable!!

[mALX]

@ Destri - WHEW!!! I did not want to have to rewrite that, lol. WHEW !!!!!!! Thank you so much Destri - I love that vid too. I've got one of Lucien Lachance dancing down the street that gets me into hysterics every time I watch it, lol.

***
@ Winter Wolf - I don't know if I'd use the word "suitor" - maybe "drainer" or "drinker of blood-er" - ROFL !!!! Thank you so much Winter Wolf !!!!!

[mALX]

*


Chapter 74: Staging For Disaster



“Hassiri, this clipboard is for you. I just wanted to thank you for everything you‘ve done for me.� I signaled him that the promised exclusive was on.

Owyn was waiting and primed Hassiri on the way to the suite. Hannibal had the door to the suite propped open and popped his head out as we neared.

“Hannibal, will any of these be people I caused to wet their beds, stuck with arrows, hit with spells, or loosed Daedra on? Just curious.�

“Yes to all of the above. You‘ll recognize them when you see them.� Hannibal grinned.

From somewhere in the room I heard, “She doesn’t have a bow in her hands, does she?� Then eight of my former classmates surged out the door.

In the months since graduation the boys I’d gone to school with had turned into men. I wondered if I had changed that much too, or if maybe it was just the time apart that made them seem older.

In the room there was hardly any place to stand. Jack, Owyn, Hannibal, Wes, Gils, Hassiri, myself, and an eight member band were all squeezed into the suite. There were trays of food and arrays of drink everywhere. Everyone was talking at once, it was almost impossible to distinguish one conversation from another, or who the speaker was. Through the crowd I saw Gils’ eyes seeking mine...asking if I’d told Fathis.

I moved my arm and one of them yelled, “Duck!� as if I was about to cast a spell.

“We saw you fight in the Arena, it was good to see you with a weapon you could actually use.�

“Yeah, if you had pulled a bow or magic we would have left.�

“We thought of you right away when the Arena blew up.�

“Er…actually, that was me that did that.� My cheeks flushed red.

“I knew it! Didn’t I tell you? Man, you owe me twenty Septims!�






***


After that it seemed everyone was talking at once. The room buzzed with jumbled snatches of conversations.

“I remember you and Todd used to sing all the time while you practiced casting, is that what you’ll be doing for the show?�

“Not exactly, but that’s how we came up with the idea to do it. We wanted our band to stand out from the rest.� Josey answered.

“Josey, how has your stomach been? Did Hannibal’s surgery really help? Can you still do all those voices?�

He nodded.

“Oh, do the imitation of Wes, that’s my favorite!�

He cupped his hands over his mouth. “Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please! Welcome to the show!� His voice filled the room, echoing just like Wes’s does at the Arena.

Wes was talking to Jack on the other side of the room. His head jerked around at Josey‘s voice. His eyes lit, and he imitated Josey’s call.

Josey cupped his hands again. “Lower the gates!�

Wes imitated him from across the room.

“That would be great on stage.� Josey said, waving Wes over.

Gils moved beside me. “He sounded just like Wes saying, ‘Lower the gates’.�

“I know. I never knew who he was imitating till I came to the Arena. Josey used to do that voice from the back of the classroom and say he was a Daedric Lord coming for Irlav Jarol. I swear Jarol nearly wet himself in fear.�

Josey heard me and mouthed into his cupped hands, “Irlav Jarol. This is Lord Dagon. Prepare, I am coming for you. You must return with me to the planes of Oblivion.�

“So that was the voices he was hearing!� Hannibal said, stunned. “I thought…� He glanced at me.

“Oh! So you just assumed if any student misbehaved it must be me? No wonder Josey got away with his ill deeds, you probably wrote Alix that I did them all!�

Hannibal roared laughing. “I did!� Everyone laughed at that, even Jack.






***


Jack nabbed Hassiri and filled him in on the contract they were signing with the band, and that there was going to be a special announcement when the band played the festival that Hassiri would be the only one in on beforehand.

Only months out of college the boys got their first contract; working the Arena one year for a cut of the Box Office receipts. Hannibal vowed to provide extra spell casters for special events.

Hassiri witnessed the contract being signed and interviewed Jack and the band. Then Jack signaled Owyn to give Hassiri the exclusive. I glanced at Gils and he moved alongside me to walk to the bedroom. His hand slipped into mine for a split second, shooting what felt like lightning tingling up my arm. My cheeks flushed pink. Gils was watching my expression…he knew.

Owyn, Hassiri, Gils, and myself all went into one of the bedrooms with Owyn’s satchel and lay it on the bed to open it. Hassiri was rocked almost off his feet by the exclusive about the cage match. He looked over all the billboards, exclaiming excitedly at each.

“This is huge!� He was taking notes rapidly when a thought struck me.

“Hassiri, I was wondering how much it would cost if we made up a program for the people in the stands to hold in their hands, so they can call out the moves. If Gils could draw up miniatures of these moves all on one sheet about the size of that parchment, we could sell them at the newsstands before the match, and at the concessions the night of the event. If you can get a figure up, can you bring it to Jack?�

Owyn popped his head out the door and signaled Jack. Gils began making one, flipping through the billboards and sketching quickly.

Hassiri raised his eyebrows at Gils drawings. “Did you do these billboards yourself Gils?�

Gils nodded, continuing to sketch rapidly. Hassiri scribbled something in his pad.

“If you ever like to make some Septims on the side, the Courier could use you every now and then to do a quick drawing of certain events. Let me know if you are interested, it would pay this per job.�

Gils looked up stunned and Hassiri rubbed his fingers together. Gils gave him a brief nod, his eyes gleaming with interest. He went back to sketching quickly.






***


Jack, Gils, and Hassiri got off on one side talking, and soon Jack was pulling contracts out of his satchel and sitting down with Hassiri to sign them.

“Hassiri, who beat me to getting you one of those jeweled clipboards? Drat, now I’ll have to find something else, I thought that was a perfect gift idea.� Jack inspected the board. “This is really nice.�

Hassiri looked at me and I made my tail into a question mark.

“I don’t reveal ladies names that give me expensive gifts.� Hassiri grinned and winked at me. Everyone laughed.

“When Hassiri heard about all the rings Hannibal enchanted for me he said…you tell them Hassiri.�

“I said, that Arch Mage Traven is quite an enchanting man.�

Even Jack roared at that.

“Can you have this on the newsstands first thing in the morning, Hassiri? Gils and Maxical will be posting these billboards tonight all over town after the music festival so when people wake up in the morning they will see them everywhere. Do you think the Courier would mind a billboard in their window?� Owyn palmed Hassiri a good sized Septim note in with several passes to the managers box for the Cage Match.

Before Hassiri left the band sang an old Khajiit song from Elsweyr for him and Gils joined in.

Hassiri raised his eyebrows. “Gils, before I leave can I have a few words with you?� He raised his new clipboard up. “This will come out after the exclusive, but before the event.�






***


After Hassiri left I signaled Gils, ducking into the bedroom where Owyn was gathering up the billboards and putting them in the satchel. I pulled the gold chain from my pocket and gave it to him.

“It’s to hold the gag ring if you want, or I can ask Hannibal to enchant it with something for you.�

“Aw geez, you’re not giving him more jewelry are you? You didn’t think it enough to give him that ring?� Owyn snorted.

“I did it after the press was gone, and in private so I wouldn’t ruin his reputation.� I winked at Owyn.

“Ruin it? If it gets out he’ll have every woman in Cyrodiil after him, thinking he’s some super stud.�

“And they’d be right.� Gils said, pushing Owyn out the door and shutting it.

He turned to me, his eyes glowing. “I saw how it made you feel when I touched your hand, Maxical…no more truces?“

“He wasn’t there to tell, but I told my parents. They’re moving out of his suite. We better get back before our absence is noted.� I turned my face from his so he couldn‘t read my eyes.

“I don’t care about any of that…and you’re too late, I already saw what was in your eyes. No more truces, Maxical?“

“No more truces, Gils.�

Gils locked the door and pulled me into his arms. I felt a moan of weakness in my throat and responded to his kiss with the hunger of weeks spent apart since that Anvil fiasco. Dear gods I have missed him.

“I’ve got to go.� I pulled away and ducked out.

I don’t understand why Fathis even wants to marry me, or why he wasn’t here when he knew I was coming. But I am facing a deadline that is counting down, there is no time left to waste. Three years of love, or three years of a false front…I choose love.

Gils came out after a while wearing the necklace. Owyn rolled his eyes and shook his head.


*

This post has been edited by mALX: Aug 4 2016, 05:08 AM

[Acadian]

What great fun seeing all of Maxical's school chums and reviewing her pranks. It felt like quite the reunion. (Can you guess which one is Maxical?)

Yes, don't give that girl a bow!

So, it seems our confused kitty is purring up more and more to Gils. Like her school chums, I'm a little arrow/spell shy to fully embrace that she has really chosen Gils. I will wait.

"I don’t understand why Fathis even wants to marry me, or why he wasn’t here when he knew I was coming."
Oh my, dear mALX. . . I shudder to think what fun friend Foxy will have with this!

Levity aside, Maxical is being forced to grow up. The impact of knowing she will be called to serve Akatosh in three years is growing, showing and dawning on her. Nicely done, mALX.

[Destri Melarg]

That was certainly a whirlwind of activity to reach the profound truth of the last section. So Maxical will choose love over obligation after all? Up to the moment she voiced that sentiment, I still wasn’t sure which way she would go. I hope she realizes the position that places both Gils and Fathis, especially given that the latter’s lack of ardor stems from circumstance beyond his control. Knowing how mercurial our lovable khajiit can be, I wonder how that will influence her feelings if and when she ever finds out.

[Remko]

I can this going this way:
Fathis: What? It's on now!!
Gils:

[mALX]

@ Acadian - I already PM'd you how much I loved the joke on your comment, lol. Thank you so much Acadian !!

***
@ Destri - Thank you so much Destri !! Yeah, Fathis is quite reluctant to let that info out, could it be because she rode the Orc so hard for his 'problems' there? Lol.

***
@ Remko - It is so good to see you on the forum!! Yeah !!! I won't bug you too hard about another Rales, lol. Thank you so much Remko - and I fully believe you could be right, lol.

[mALX]

*


Chapter 75: Scenes At The Merchants



Owyn sent me to spend more time with Alix and S’Jirra till he was ready for me to rehearse with the band. Hannibal caught up to me as I was walking out the door.

“Hannibal…something I need to ask you. I know Fathis is your friend…so I’m hoping you can forget that for a minute and give me a clinical answer. Alix and S’Jirra said they came back here a few days ago. Is there any logical reason that Fathis wouldn’t have told me they were here when I saw him every day since they arrived? Because I can’t think of a single good explanation for that.�

“He didn’t tell you? They returned to the city early the same day you incited the wild beasts in Weye.�

“Incited! They thought I was dinner! But I wouldn’t have even been there had I known my parents were here. He never said a word. I could have been with them instead of meeting the Emperor. I know I’m not the brightest...but I can‘t imagine any reason for him doing that.�

“Maxical, the last four or five days something has been bothering him. He‘s not been himself, remote and distant…maybe that’s what caused the lapse. He’s obviously dealing with a problem.�

“And maybe I am the problem that’s bothering him. He knew I was coming here today, yet took off for the music festival before I got here.�

“It wasn’t due to open for hours when you arrived!�

“I know. But he was gone, and that was the excuse S‘Jirra gave for his absence.�

Hannibal glanced quickly at me. “I’m sure it’s not what it appears…oh Maxical; you’re not going to break it off with him, are you? You don‘t want to do that…�

I nodded. “I am. I’ll reimburse him for everything he spent on me since I left the Arcane somehow if it takes my lifetime. I know he paid for my damage to the Arena.�

�Yes, and all the new raiment, and quite a bit out for this chain on Agronak. He was willing to pay anything to get even with the Orc for hurting your shoulder. You should have seen him when he found out, Maxical. He really does love you.�

“I know he does. I feel the guilt of what I’m doing, it‘s killing me to do this to him. He’s been nothing but good to me. Did he tell you that in three years I have to turn myself in to the Emperor’s service?�

Hannibal nodded. “I hate to see you do this, Maxical. What you think is Fathis’s issue with you…it can’t be. I’ve known him all my life, that isn’t what is going on. I don‘t know what is, but it is not because you‘re Khajiit.“






***


“Hannibal, everything was abstract before I graduated. Now it’s in his face, and he obviously is not ready for it. I have three years before I have to turn myself in. I live in the Bloodworks, and Fathis and my relationship is almost strictly platonic. I don‘t believe he has any intentions of these things changing. Am I to die without ever experiencing life? Maybe he and I were meant to just be friends…and I hope we will remain friends.�

“Do you know what your service will be yet?�

“No, but this is Akatosh. It won’t be repairing the roads of Cyrodiil. What do you think it will be?�

“I looked into it as soon as Fathis told me what happened. Akatosh is ‘The Dragon of Time’. He represents endurance, invincibility, and everlasting legitimacy. He is the promise of stability and permanence. Stability…the lack of stability could mean a war is imminent, you could be called to battle. I’ve been trying to get information from the other provinces to see if any are at war.�

“Invincibility! He sure picked the wrong helper in me there, my healing disorder makes me a sitting duck.�

“I know. I…took the liberty of bringing it to the attention of the Emperor. I hope you don’t mind.�

“Mind, I could kiss you! It didn’t help?�

“No. He plans to make you an initiate knight in the Order of the Hour…they are given the gift of healing others, the ‘Benevolence of Mara’. You would still not be able to heal yourself, only others. Each knight has to go to another member for healing. Knowing they must rely on the other knight’s presence for survival creates a bond of necessity in battle. They keep in mind at all times that their other members must survive for their own survival.�

“Oh dear gods, Hannibal…my aim…did you tell him?�

“I brought the medical tome with me, went over your disorder…detailed every weakness or inability. Instead of deciding to replace you, he is using it as a guideline in how to prepare and protect you, special armor and the like.�

“He better put special armor on my allies instead, they will be the ones in danger.�

Before we entered Fathis’s suite I reached out and took Hannibal’s hand. “I’m sorry Hannibal. I know he is your best friend. I hope this won’t hurt the friendship between you and I…but I’ll understand if it does.�

“I don‘t blame you, Maxical. Not with this hanging over your head. I just…always thought to see the two of you together.�

“Me too, Hannibal. Me too.�






***


Alix was back, I crawled into his lap and pulled his arms tight around me, giving me a full frontal view of Hannibal looking like he wanted to explode on someone.

“What happened?� I bumped Alix with my elbow.

“He turned me down.�

“Fathis disturbed Uriel’s sleep last night to offer himself, he was denied as well. Uriel sent for her student record. I brought it to him personally, and brought my medical tome as well. I went thoroughly over Maxical’s disorder and how it would put her at risk…he wouldn’t budge.�

“Thank you, Hannibal. I appreciate that you thought to do that.� Alix’s voice sounded strained.

“Maxical said he has been plagued with nightmares of her.� S’Jirra handed Hannibal a glass of wine.

“If he thinks she’s giving him nightmares now, just wait till she is fighting at his side. He was overly impressed by her grades at the Arcane. I tried to explain to him that she is no mage, he just kept pointing to the grades and the fact she graduated from the Arcane. I’d hate for him to find out the hard way.� Hannibal smiled at me to take the sting out of his words.

“Am I crushing you yet, Alix?�

“Come here you. I’ve missed you crushing me.� Alix squeezed me nearly to death, but he took the hint and changed the subject. “Hannibal, tell us about this band you’re sponsoring.�

“Their music is modern. They all mastered in illusion or destruction. They can make it look like a storm with lightning, or fire balls in patterns, it is an amazing show.�

“So when am I going to be told what is going on?� Alix asked, poking me in the side. Hannibal sat up intrigued.

“Not a word of this can get out before it’s formally announced at the music festival today, or Owyn will kill me. Hannibal’s band is being given a special song written by Salomon Geonette. Every time a Blue team member steps into the chute they will play it. We’ve all got beautiful new raiment and are changing our names to ‘Blue Thunder’.�

“Fathis bought those. He thought of the name, chose the colors…everything.� Hannibal glanced at me apologetically.

“I know. I’ll be reimbursing him for all that…as best I can.“

Hannibal’s eyes were on me when I glanced up. He made a little gesture I took as one of comfort.

“At their debut today they will be announcing their year long contract with the Arena, and a special event that I will be dead for telling anyone about.� I hesitated and watched Hannibal sit up excitedly. “A cage match. I can’t say anymore.�

I got dumped to the floor when Alix leaped up. Hannibal and Alix were like two baboons frolicking and hooting.









******* Janus


For all his talk of friendship and supposed good intentions, Jak was clearly still interested in Maxical’s blood. He had seemed almost angry that Janus was not allowing his vampire to emerge and protect her from Vicente; obviously because he wanted her himself.

Janus couldn’t bring himself to walk around with the vampire out. His appearance even now made him subject to Uriel’s law if spotted. Releasing the vampire; having no control over his own actions…that would almost guarantee exposure.

The possibility crossed Janus’s mind that Jak’s urging him to let the vampire out could have hidden motives and agenda. What better way to get rid of an Immortal than to have him thrown in a dungeon for eternity?

Jak had saved his neck with the prostitute and assassin, but could he be trusted? The man was a legendary con before becoming a vampire. He exuded charm, and was extremely…likable. Knowing Jak had suspect motives…it was hard to believe anything he said. Regardless of whether Jak was a friend, it was sure his vampire nature could not be trusted.

Janus hurried to the Merchants, honing his senses in on Maxical as he ran. All thoughts of Vicente were ripped from his mind by what he learned. Maxical was breaking with Fathis…for Gils? When the hell did she get back together with him? Drat! That was the last thing Janus wanted, would nothing work out right on this trip?

He’d removed the spells from Fathis that morning, obviously too late. They’d been on too long, she’d turned to Gils for the romance Fathis wasn’t providing…and Janus had no spell on Gils to keep his sword inactive.






***


Darting up the alley next to the Merchants, Janus found the only shade available was in pressing himself against the wall nearest the street where the eaves blocked the sunlight. His spell for Chameleon wore off unnoticed by him as he listened fuming to what was going on inside.

She and Gils were making out heavily…dear gods, Janus could feel the passion of it through her thoughts. The way it sounded Gils was about to take it from her with Janus standing here listening!

“Aaaaaaah“ Janus let out a loud sigh of relief. Maxical had pulled away and left the room.

At the sound, a girl passing on the street turned and stared, gaping at Janus in his cowl and heavy cloak pressed against the side of the Merchants.

“Disgusting pervert!�

Janus scowled under his cowl. These Imperial City women got on his nerves. So he wore a cowl and heavy cloak in the hot sunshine, was that reason to assume he was vile?

Everything was falling apart, all his careful plans. Maxical’s conversation with Traven came as a shock. Alix and S’Jirra were her parents? Good gods, if he had known that he would have had Fathis tell her of their presence! Their chaperonage would have ensured Fathis did naught with her, Janus could have removed the spell days ago…and she wouldn‘t be breaking from him now. Drat!

Worse, Traven had noticed differences in Fathis. He may be suspicious that Fathis was under a spell. He shouldn’t have tried to manage Fathis so fully while in town…another mistake…hopefully rectified by the removal of those spells.

The powerful emanations of an ancient were coming from inside the hotel itself…Vicente. What more could go wrong? He’d never find a bride babysitting this Khajiit constantly, she had to be taken right away. That would give him one day without this stupid cowl.


*

This post has been edited by mALX: Aug 4 2016, 05:12 AM

[treydog]

I am still one chapter behind, but did not want you to think I was not reading (and loving) this story.

Love the reactions of her college classmates as they tease Maxical about her aim and spell-casting ability. \
Especially funny was the bet over who blew up the Arena.

The clock ticking in the background is a good explanation for why Maxical feels so driven- although young people always seem to think that way…

Great addition to the story- it will be interesting to see what happens next.

[Acadian]

The noose continues to tighten within the Imperial City.

“No, but this is Akatosh. It won’t be repairing the roads of Cyrodiil. What do you think it will be?”

No dumb kitty here!

I like your take on the Order of the Hour.

Hannibal and Alix were like two baboons frolicking and hooting.

Really? The Arch Mage of the Guild of Mages and a retired Swordmaster? Frolicking? Hooting? Baboons?

She and Gils were making out heavily…dear gods, Janus could feel the passion of it through her thoughts.

Here, Janus sounds just like Maxical, stealing one of her signature lines.

[mALX]

@ Treydog - Thank you so much Treydog!!! I cut each chapter size down to accomodate the slower forum lately; hope that helps some in catch-up reading. [bait warning] Chapter 75 has some Alix & S'Jirra in it, lol.

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian !!! Frolicking and hooting? I have seen lawyers and judges in Knoxville do that when the Vols score a touchdown - no one is too mature when it comes to sports !!!! ROFL !!!! Thank you again, Acadian !!!

This post has been edited by mALX: Nov 17 2010, 07:17 AM

[Destri Melarg]

I have seen lawyers and judges in Knoxville do that when the Vols score a touchdown - no one is too mature when it comes to sports !!!! ROFL !!!!

Of course those judges and lawyers are not hooting over the prospect of their daughters being involved in a cage match to the death! (I think )

Janus scowled under his cowl. These Imperial City women got on his nerves. So he wore a cowl and heavy cloak in the hot sunshine, was that reason to assume he was vile?

Uh, yeah?

Is that the esteemed Arch-Mage himself offering to replace the young Khajiit responsible for the manure-in-the-Arch-Mage’s-quarters incident? Amazing what ‘wicked imps in the eyes’ can do to a man!

A small nit:

Owyn sent me to spend more time with Alix and S’Jirra till they were ready for me to rehearse with the band.

You might want to look at this sentence. I don’t think that it is Alix and S’Jirra that need to be ready for Maxical to start rehearsing. If it is Owyn then you need to change ‘they were’ to ‘he was’. Otherwise, you need to establish who ‘they’ are.

[mALX]

Of course those judges and lawyers are not hooting over the prospect of their daughters being involved in a cage match to the death! (I think )

They don't have any idea who will be in the cage yet. She gave no details to anyone - just that a cage match would be held.

In itself, being in a cage would be no more dangerous than any Arena match, they are all "to the death" - it is the odds Owyn set up that make this one dangerous, and Alix doesn't have this info yet.

I imagine Alix won't like the odds of 20 vs 2 at all.

Is that the esteemed Arch-Mage himself offering to replace the young Khajiit responsible for the manure-in-the-Arch-Mage’s-quarters incident? Amazing what ‘wicked imps in the eyes’ can do to a man!

Hannibal would never offer to replace her! No way! That is not in his character at all!

He just brought her grades from the Arcane (because Uriel sent for them) and brought along that medical tome that tells about her disease - He hoped to talk Uriel out of using her, but would never offer to stand in her stead.

If that impression is what is coming across, let me know and I will re-word it. That is not what I meant to come across to the reader at all.



** fixed the nit! - Thank you !!!


*** Thank you so very much Destri!!!



*

This post has been edited by mALX: Nov 17 2010, 03:35 PM

[treydog]

Good to see Maxical trying to be fair and asking Hannibal for his opinion. Even though she is hurt and confused, she has the wisdom to seek the truth.

“No, but this is Akatosh. It won’t be repairing the roads of Cyrodiil.”

And the whole discussion of how the Emperor plans to use Maxical’s… talents was quite interesting, especially the Knights of the Hour.

Despite his less-comic portrayal here, I still love watching Janus bumble along in a setting he does not understand.

Janus scowled under his cowl. These Imperial City women got on his nerves. So he wore a cowl and heavy cloak in the hot sunshine, was that reason to assume he was vile?

"I am not a monster! Oh, wait. Yes I am, actually. Right then, carry on."

[Destri Melarg]

Hannibal would never offer to replace her! No way! That is not in his character at all!

He just brought her grades from the Arcane (because Uriel sent for them) and brought along that medical tome that tells about her disease - He hoped to talk Uriel out of using her, but would never offer to stand in her stead.

If that impression is what is coming across, let me know and I will re-word it. That is not what I meant to come across to the reader at all.



** fixed the nit! - Thank you !!!


*** Thank you so very much Destri!!!



*

Just re-read the last chapter. That opening sentence reads much better now. And Hannibal offering to replace Maxical was a mistake that I made reading it the first time. You have me spinning through so many different turns of events that I got confused as to who was doing what (or who). In the scene where Alix returns after being turned down by the Emperor you have Alix and Hannibal discussing the fact that Fathis had also been turned down. For some reason I read that to mean Hannibal. My apologies.