A New Sun Rises - Maxical's Adventures, The Truth Behind The Oblivion Crisis Options

[Grits]

My heart was in my throat the whole way through the tunnels, both times! Maxical keeping her composure when she was trying to get out of the fake Fathis’s trap was wonderful to see. The part where she gets the real Fathis’s scent from the armor and pulls herself together is so sad and sweet. Her terror when she heard Agronak’s voice was very real. They way she was frozen with fear even while thinking about the fact it was happening really captured how the mind seems to speed up and offer all kinds of unhelpful tidbits in stressful situations. Even though it was Janus who got her moving, she came up with the Agronak avoidance plan on her own, go Maxical! Although whether filling a substructure with natural gas while thinking about a devastating fire spell is a good idea remains to be seen.

"That's the signal for 'Illegal Substitution'...but how did she get up there?" Hannibal asked, just as I cast chameleon again and the fake Fathis stepped out onto the deck.

I can’t help but think of massive, powerful gears moving very, very slowly when I imagine Hannibal’s thought process. What a chapter, I love it!!!

[Thomas Kaira]

Indeed, Hannibal... what illegal substitution may be afoot here? I do sorely want to believe he will make the connection, but given Hannibal's mind is rather creaky, it might take a few centuries before he finally realizes Jak is impersonating Fathis.

With the pit sealed off, would it fill up in that section of the sewer and suffocate Agronak?

Umm, Maxical? Vampires don't breathe.

(I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have said that.)

[TheOtherRick]

Alrighty then. After discussing the subject of proper posting etiquette briefly with the author, my fellow readers will have to deal with comments about stuff that happened a long time ago in a post far, far away...

It might not be all bad though. You can reminisce about adventures past and perhaps chuckle a bit.

You all are on Chapter 99....well...I just finished Chapter 4. But I have to comment...

mALX...the pigeons and the letters to home had me ROLLING! Maxical is such fun to read. I am going to try to knock down at least a chapter per night, but real life does kick in and I won't always be able to. I would go for more than that, but there are sooooo many other stories too! So as long as it's cool to post comments so far behind the times, then that's what I'll do.

PS - Acadian, SubRosa, h.e.rider, and Grits...I'm gonna be doin the same on y'all's stories as well. The rest of the stories I'm pretty much caught up on.

This post has been edited by TheOtherRick: Mar 13 2011, 07:04 PM

[Zalphon]

I loved the line about not inheriting khajiiti dexterity

[Destri Melarg]

I'm back.

- First I would like to say that Maxical’s meeting with Janus in Jack’s box (yeah, I said it!) was absolutely adorable. See! I told you that Janus is a better match for Maxical than Fathis. Ancient clothing, impeccable manners, and that manly scent (are you sure that it wasn’t Old Spice?). It seems to me that Fathis is sowing the seeds of his own demise where our kitty is concerned.

- You should really sit Maxical down and tell her what curiosity did to the cat. Mora’s realm may be a place of riches beyond measure, but what good is it all if you can never leave?

- By the end of their conversation it became apparent what you were trying to do. I love how you were even able to work ‘crop rotation’ back in there. Maxical truly is one in a million! I know you want to avoid giving any indication of Maxical’s interest in Janus, but I don’t think you should worry about it. Despite your protestations, it’s already apparent in the way she responds and opens up to him, even if she is only being driven by her hormones. What you have done (remarkably well, given that it seems that it was unintentional) is prove that the lure of the chosen is stronger than their (and your) feeble attempts to deny it.

** Don’t believe me? Allow me to draw your attention to Maxical’s anger with Janus in Chapter 93. She would not get that angry with someone to whom she was indifferent. Plus the anger itself was provoked by her own desire to ‘roll on the floor’ when Janus started rubbing her hand, something which even she later acknowledges. **

- The Beginnings of War was superb. Despite all I have said about him, I must admit that Fathis acquitted himself extremely well in this chapter. For the first time I could feel the love that he has for Maxical. Maybe it is his diplomatic training that makes him try to manipulate her, which is understandable while not being excusable. In any event, well done!

- In the midst of all the shouting, threats, and tension that laced Jack’s box with Malan’s Horde descending upon them do you know what stood out to me? Maxical coming to Fathis ‘aid’ by ratting out the fact that he did not consummate the marriage! That is so very Maxical!! I loved it!

- I thought it was brilliant the way that you clued us in to the fact that Jak/Fathis wasn’t really Fathis at all by the fact that he called her Maxical, something that Fathis would never do.

High Councilors, Greywyn and the Crimson Scars, and Malan’s Giants! You are indeed pulling all the stops for this one, mALX! I half expect Sheogorath himself to walk out of the mouth in the Niben and start strangling people with their own intestines! Cheese for everyone!!

** A quick observation about the Dunmer Mysteries:
Since they are not called the ‘Chimer Mysteries’, is it safe to assume that this marks a sense of remorse on Azura’s part? After all, she/he/it cursed them to be Dunmer in the first place, and she/he/it didn’t seem all that concerned with their alleged promiscuity when they were still Chimer. **

And finally, is that our esteemed kitty tiptoeing barefoot and NEKKID amongst the dead bodies??!!

I guess I did do a chapter by chapter breakdown after all. Thank you for this rich bounty of goodness, mALX. My cup runneth over.

More, please?

[mALX]

@ King Coin - Thank you so much King Coin !! I appreciate hearing you say that a LOT !!

***
@ Acadian - You can't imagine how much your kind words mean, Acadian !!! You caught every nuance of Maxical, of what I was trying to show in that chapter!!! Thank you so much !!!

***
@ Foxy - Now hearing THAT from YOU is Awesome !!! You made my day, Foxy !!! (as you always do when you manage to break free from RL long enough to drop in and see us !!!) Thank You, Thank You Foxy !!!

***
@ Grits - I have always gotten the same feeling from Traven - gears moving slowly. When he hears Manimarco is coming to attack his guild, he needs three days to come up with a plan. His plan is brilliant, but it takes him a while to get there. Not meant to be a military mind, just an alchemist and healer, I guess. Thank you so much, Grits !!!! Hearing any kind words from someone of your capabilities - it is huge. You ROCK !!!

***
@ Thomas Kaira - ROFL !!! Maxical won't think of that, that is sure !!! I'm glad I'm not the only one that saw Traven as a tad slow on the pick-up - nice enough man, intelligent, just not fast, lol. But that said, he does know Fathis better than anyone, so hopefully... Thank you so much TK !!!

***
@ Rick - Thank you so much Rick !!! I do love hearing what parts of the story tickled people - remembering the earlier chapters. Feel free to chime in with the early stuff anytime !! I appreciate you reading, and hope you continue to enjoy it !!!

***
@ Zalphon - Thank you so much Zalphon !!! ROFL !!! Like her clumsy nature,huh? She has been WAY too coordinated in this story (IMHO), lol. Thank you Zalphon, and for bringing your crew of characters back to us - you have been missed !!!!

***
@ Destri - YEAH !!!! DESTRI IS BACK !!!!!! WOOO HOOO !!!!!!

Er, wait...Old Spice? NEVER !!!! It has to be some manly scent, like the original English Leather, or Ralph Lauren's original Polo, or Drakkar ... ROFL !!!!!

In the midst of all the shouting, threats, and tension that laced Jack’s box with Malan’s Horde descending upon them do you know what stood out to me? Maxical coming to Fathis ‘aid’ by ratting out the fact that he did not consummate the marriage! That is so very Maxical!! I loved it!

ROFL !!! In a crowd of interested onlookers too, ROFL !!! If it had been any other time with less going on, I really would have enjoyed writing descriptions of the onlookers facial reactions to that, ROFL !!!

The "Dunmer Mysteries" were originally the "Chimer Mysteries" - when Azura turned the Chimer's skin to ash she didn't take the gifts from them - I'll have to look up the chapter when I have my PC back again and can actually see the screen - Gils explains it to Maxical at one point.

Plus the anger itself was provoked by her own desire to ‘roll on the floor’ when Janus started rubbing her hand, something which even she later acknowledges.

Er...did I write that? ROFL !!! Yes, you caught that subtle clue. Janus did not figure it out, but if he ever gets a chance, I'm sure Jak will explain that to him, lol.

Thank you so very much Destri - you have been SOOOO missed !!!

YEAH !!!! DESTRI IS BACK !!!!!! WOOO HOOO !!!!!!

[mALX]

*


@ EVERYONE - For these upcoming chapters, I will be trying to give a breakdown of everything that is happening within the factions as the countdown to war is rapidly drawing to an explosion. Each faction will be listed in its own segment or chapter. To do this on a correct timeline would require way too much switching back and forth between factions, so I have presented each faction's actions in whole form - that means some things may occur with Maxical, but when you read Jak's part it actually occurs AT THE SAME TIME OR BEFORE the update on Maxical ended. That happens in this chapter. I will post in the headings where this segment occurred to (hopefully) keep it from becoming confusing - let me know if this is workable for you, please.




Chapter 100: Faction Update: Jak



Jak - (Impersonating Fathis) - Left Maxical At The Pit To Go To The Palace (Trying To Get Document That Incriminates Janus Hassildor) - (From: Chapter 97, Page 46)


One of the Palace runners hurried up. "Fathis Aren, thank goodness you have come! The Emperor will not be attending the throne today with vampires attacking the city, but he had hoped you would show. He requested you sit in on his war counsel. You know the routine, for security's sake I cannot give the location the meeting will be held, whatever you have prearranged with the Emperor himself."

"Yes, of course. Er...I recall him giving me two different locations, do you know in which this particular meeting will be held?"

"We underlings aren't given secret information!" The runner rolled his eyes.

Jak reached in the pocket of Fathis's greaves to tip the man, hoping it would smooth the way to getting more information and with a better attitude. He was shocked at the amount of Septim notes Fathis carried on his person. The man could buy a city while out on a stroll! He pulled out a huge wad of Septim notes and was staring at them as he spoke.

"Say lad, a person is holding some documents for me. He was to give them to the Emperor if I didn't return. I am here for them, and must see this person immediately."

The runner reached forward and snatched the entire wad, pocketing it. "THANK YOU SIR! I know exactly who you are referring to. I'll fetch the personage to you immediately, sir! It will be my pleasure to serve you!"

"Not the whole thing, lad! I'll need something to give the others..."

"Sir?"

"Give that back, I will choose the amount to tip you from it..." Jak held out his hand.

The runner scowled, then reached in his other pocket. He pulled out a grimy one-Septim note and handed it back.

"What's this, lad? You snatched a whole stack of clean notes out of my hand, and put them in the other pocket! Now give it here!"

"How do I know which you gave me? Once it's in my pockets, it mixes with the rest. I think you have back the tip you gave."






***


"Here, here! There was enough to buy my own Palace in that stack! Now give it over before I take it from you by force!"

"Lay hands on me and I'll summon the Palace guards! You held the notes out in your hand to me, they were mine to take. I did nothing wrong, but you will be if you try to wrest them from me. I guess your reputation as a diplomat and great tipper has been greatly exagerated." Under his breath he whispered, "Scoundrel."

Jak froze at the mention of the guards. As he was impersonating Fathis, he'd best act as if the Septim loss was nothing.

"NO! No, lad. It is these vampires, they have me...in an odd frame."

"Fine then. I'll send the person to you. You'll have to wait in the Emperor's antechamber, there may be a slight delay. I'll let the Emperor know you are here as well...no need to tip me again for that."

"I should say not, you could retire on what I've given you!" Jak made a mental note to follow this lad when he left the Palace tonight, but in his real form as a vampire. He would get those Septims back.

Jak continued in a more pleasant tone. "Er...yes, I'll do that. With this turmoil I seem to have...can you point the way?"

The runner gaped, then shook his head and pointed a finger upward. He spun on his heel and stomped off. Jak followed at a slower pace. Impersonating Fathis would not be easy as anticipated here inside the Palace, where he was expected to know the layout of the most secured areas...but he must get those documents!






***


Jak meandered carefully back beyond the throne room to a large round interior room that was rife with exits, all leading up. He chose one randomly and mounted the stairs. It led into another rotunda filled with Elders.

"Fathis Aren! Come to annul your marriage so soon? By the gods, not even the vampires could stop you! It hasn't been even a full day, man!" It was followed by raucus laughter and several voices saying, "Told you so, now pay up!"

Jak couldn't have planned such a coup himself had he tried! How fortuitous to have stumbled into this office...just what was needed. "Exactly why I am here. Arch Mage Hannibal Traven and the Hero of the People are my witnesses that the marriage was not consumated...at least not by me. However, since our marriage last night the bride's blue show mysteriously turned purple. I demand an annulment to it immediately!"

The Elders stood in shock, frozen into varied positions with all sets of bulging eyes riveted on him.

"Well come on! I don't have all day, Uriel is expecting me to chase these vampires from the city!"

"Yuh...yes, Sir. Er...we didn't realize you were...yes, Sir."

Jak glanced over the scroll quickly when it was handed to him, then carefully signed "The Right, Fathis Aren." on the line waiting for his signature. The Imperial Seal was affixed, and the Elder rolled it carefully up. He tied it with a blue ribbon at one end, then reached for another blue ribbon for the other end. Jak stopped him.

"Use purple at the other end. I wish to make it clear why she is receiving this." Jak's eyes gleamed as he slid the scroll into his inner pocket when they finished. "Er...I am to meet a personage that was supposed to bring some documents to the Emperor if I did not show. As I am here I can collect them myself..." One of the Elders that had just entered cut him off mid speech.

"That must be who's up with him now in his chambers. Such a ruckus you wouldn't believe!"

Jak paled, was he too late then? "Er...I don't recall...is there a shortcut to Uriel's chambers from here?"

Several sets of eyes stared at him, stunned.

"This raid on the city by the vampires...this business with my marriage...has me disoriented." Jak explained. Good gods, did they expect Fathis to remember every detail of the Palace in a crisis?

"I can well imagine. I'll escort you up." The Elder that had just arrived stepped forward and offered his arm.

"Good gods, man! I'm not decrepit! Just lead the way!"






***


Jak was led up several successive ramps and winding corridors, then into another rotunda. The Elder wished him well and then backed out of the room, closing the heavy steel door behind him. Alone in the room, Jak glanced around. It was surprisingly spartan for what one would expect the Emperor's antechamber to be.

After what seemed an extended wait, Jak began pacing the room. A feeling of disquiet began to settle over him, instincts of self preservation. The Emperor's palace was a dangerous place for a vampire...he was not immortal. Surely no one could see through his disguise...still...something didn't feel right.

Jak went back to the door he had entered and gave a stout tug on it. It was sealed from the outside and would not budge.

This could be usual practice...or it could be a trap. Jak quickly checked the rest of the room for entrances, there were none. Two spiral staircases led up to an upper balcony with one central door, again made of heavy steel. Like the door below, it was sealed from the outside.

This may be the way things were always done when meeting the Emperor...but what if it wasn't? Jak quickly checked the row of tall windows along one wall...all sealed tightly.

A feeling of claustrophobia was suddenly overwhelming. Sweat beaded on his brow, the droplets stinging his eyes as they dripped down. A chilling ran down his spine and the hair on his neck stood up in spite of its dampness from the sweat.

The windows...the only escape would be to smash a window. Jak picked up one of the heavy oak chairs and was rapidly moving toward them when he heard the steel clang of the door on the balcony being unbolted. With a sigh of relief, Jak saw Uriel Septim step out onto the balcony flanked by Ocato.






***


Uriel paused at the center point of the balcony, directly opposite the steel door he had just entered through. In seconds a contingent of battlemages moved from behind him and lined up on each of the spiral staircases, blocking access to the upper balcony.

"Fathis Aren. I know you are used to these security measures. The code please, and then we will discuss the reason for your visit. I understand you seek an individual with some documents as well as offering your aid in this attack on the Imperial City." Uriel Septim's quiet tones floated down from the balcony.

"Yes, Sire. I sent an individual with some documents to be released to you if something happened to me before I was able to return. As you see, I made it back in one piece. My sword is at your service against these..."

"You are wearing no sword, Fathis Aren. Where is the sheath I gifted you?" Uriel's voice gave no hint of suspicion.

"It was lost in an attack by the vampires on the way over here. I plan to seek the one who took it, get it back when I leave here. As I was saying, the individual I sent with those documents is no longer required. Those documents contain highly classified information..."

"Yes, we will discuss those documents as soon as you have given your security authorization code."

Jak hesitated. Discuss the documents? Does that mean he has already seen them? "Well, if you've already viewed the documents...the point of my visit here is moot. I can be on my way and begin clearing the city of these vampires..."

"If you are Fathis Aren, you will give the code. If you are not...you will not be leaving." Uriel stepped back as he spoke.

"I've forgotten the code in all this turmoil in the city...Sire?"

A young Dunmer stepped forward in Uriel's place. As he did, Jak heard the clang of the steel door closing and the bolts fall.

"Speak or die under Uriel's Law!" Ocato's shrill voice pierced down from the balcony.

Jak's hands gripped the chair he had been carrying to the windows when the Emperor arrived. In the quick motion of heaving the chair at the nearest glass window his full vampire emerged. The glass didn't break. A long crack made a jagged path down the center of it.






***


A thick vapor curled around Jak as the illusion of Fathis's features fell away. In seconds his body shot to massive proportions, towering over and dwarfing the others in the lower sections of the stairwells...over even the room furnishings.

Fathis's armor faded into the mist, replaced by the bronzed skin of a well muscled chest and powerful legs...naked with the exception of a highly ornamental loin cloth like the gods of old wore. On one arm was a golden band encircling that bore strange markings. His ears were huge and pointed, covered in numerous piercings. His eyes were cold and hard, huge and bulging...maniacal. He drew the thin lips back from his wide mouth to reveal long fangs that dripped red fluids in rivulets down his neck.

He glided toward the windows in deceptively slow motion, as if his feet never touched the floor...cat-like.

"Uriel's Law! Uriel's Law!" The Dunmer shouted, breaking through the shock that held the others frozen in place. He leaped agily over the balcony, landing atop the heavy oak table below and drew a long silver sword out from a sheath too fancy for the clothing he wore.

Jak realized instantly that It matched the sheath Fathis had worn...a gift from Uriel Septim. There was no time now to dwell on what this Dunmer could have done as a service to earn such a gift, but Jak's instincts screamed that it had to do with this trap that was laid for him. Who could he be?

The Battlemages had begun pouring down the staircases towards him and Ocato poised himself ready to cast from the central point of the balcony. With a roar Jak grabbed the readied casting hand of the mage nearest him and jerked her to him, closing his other hand around her throat and lifting her up in front of him so if the Battlemages cast any spells they would be absorbed by the girl instead of himself.

She struggled, clawing at the hand clutching her neck. A low moan sounded from her upper chest, and gutteral stranglings came from her lips parted in a silent scream. Jak stared down at her as if he could snap her in two and not think twice about it, his breath blew her hair up around the hand that held her throat. Her struggles ceased with a whimpering sound. Jak angled his hostage carefully to shield himself from spells as he moved backward toward the windows.

The Dunmer with the silver sword was trying to flank him, the sword holding easily in his hands like a pro in the Arena...like a pro in the Arena! The sickening realization hit Jak suddenly...it was he, the Dunmer that had escaped from him not more than an hour ago. The one who was having the affair with Maxical, that should have been laying dead at the hands of his brother by now.

An overwhelming rage filled Jak; decades of planning and the end result so near it could be seen visibly, tangibly felt...to come this close and watch it all crumbling to dust in the incompetance of his minions...and the sheer luck of his enemies.

When Jak spoke his voice rumbled like deep thunder in the room. "Gils, is it not? You have just cost your brother his life. Live with that on your conscience if you can, or do you think yourself good enough to save him from what we'll do to him?"

He phrased it as a challenge, knowing it would spur Gils into trying to prove Jak wrong...send him flying to the aid of his brother, and to Gils' sure death by the Orc. A hot white anger rose up inside Jak that yet again he was having to perform tasks his minions should have completed had they the sense of a stone.

In one swift movement Jak shoved the mage hard into Gils and then threw himself against the window, shattering the glass that the chair had already cracked. He plummeted toward the ground too rapidly to be hit by any of the fireballs the Battlemages were casting through the opening.

Jak stretched out his arms and the vapor filled his nostrils as he plummeted through them a second before his transformation into a large bird. He quickly flew back to the Arena. His only hope now was to get Janus out of here quickly. That Dunmer Gils may have Uriel rousing his army to the Arena...time was crucial in getting out of here now. When Jak landed at the Administrative entrance he cast his illusion spell, once more taking on the appearance and armor of Fathis Aren. He hurried up the ramp to Jack's office.


** Jak Returned To The Arena (Chapter 99, page 47)



Jak In Full Vampire - No Illusion Spell (As His True Self)








*

This post has been edited by mALX: Mar 17 2011, 11:31 PM

[D.Foxy]

AND YET ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER!!!!

WOO HOO HOO TO THE RICHTER SCALE 8.9!!!!!

[Thomas Kaira]

Bombshell!!!

Jakben of Imbel is actually OUR LORD VIVEC?!?!?!

Oh noes, Morrowind is sure in trouble now!

[Grits]

The whole part where Jak is trying to get the cash back from the runner had me rolling! He’s on an urgent mission infiltrating the palace, and he’s stymied by the first underling he meets. That kid is destined for greatness! Or a messy end, if Jak tracks him down tonight.

"Use purple at the other end. I wish to make it clear why she is receiving this." Jak's eyes gleamed as he slid the scroll into his inner pocket when they finished.
Uh oh. Could be a very unhappy moment coming up.

"You are wearing no sword, Fathis Aren. Where is the sheath I gifted you?" Uriel's voice gave no hint of suspicion.
Uriel, cool and commanding throughout. I love the description of his quiet voice floating down.

Gils going after the fully vampire Jak, woo hoo!! And the part where Jak falls through the air, turning into a giant bird while the fireballs explode all around him was so exciting!!!

I keep asking myself Where is Maxical during this to keep the times straight. I think the headings will work great! I love it, mALX!!!

[mALX]

Bombshell!!!

Jakben of Imbel is actually OUR LORD VIVEC?!?!?!

Oh noes, Morrowind is sure in trouble now!

Er...actually no - but Vivec was the only picture of a male Chimer I could find. Dagoth-Ur was also Chimer, but every screenie of him hid his face with that giant mask. There are no screenies I could find of him as Voryn Dagoth, but I figured if he was Chimer he should look about the same as Vivec.

This post has been edited by mALX: Mar 17 2011, 05:29 PM

[mALX]

I keep asking myself Where is Maxical during this to keep the times straight. I think the headings will work great! I love it, mALX!!!

(she was climbing through those tunnels to the Bloodworks door, climbing out of the pit and up onto the roof of the Arena - and at the end when Jak flies back to the Arena and is walking up the Administrative ramp - Maxical sees him and begins signaling "Illegal Substitution")

[King Coin]

Great chapter! It seems Jak will be taking the express route out of the Palace lol.

Uriel really underestimated the powers of Jak! He should have been dead!

[Thomas Kaira]

Er...actually no - but Vivec was the only picture of a male Chimer I could find. Dagoth-Ur was also Chimer, but every screenie of him hid his face with that giant mask. There are no screenies I could find of him as Voryn Dagoth, but I figured if he was Chimer he should look about the same as Vivec.

I know, I was making a funny.

[mALX]

Er...actually no - but Vivec was the only picture of a male Chimer I could find. Dagoth-Ur was also Chimer, but every screenie of him hid his face with that giant mask. There are no screenies I could find of him as Voryn Dagoth, but I figured if he was Chimer he should look about the same as Vivec.

I know, I was making a funny.

ROFL !!! ... whew !!! I was hoping no one would recognize Vivec in that screenie, lol.

[Thomas Kaira]

You don't know the half of it. I would recognize some obscure beat-boxing rhythm if you played it for me three decades after it went out of style. I am also capable of word-for-word recitations of my favorite films after only a few viewings. For me to recognize a figure like Vivec is child's play.

A word to the wise: never bank on someone not recognizing something from a game, especially a TES game... because I will.

[Destri Melarg]

“We underlings aren’t given secret information!” The runner rolled his eyes.

I wanted to say: ‘No you are not, but you take it upon yourself to call the Emperor’s adviser and Bravil Court Mage by his first name! Well, at least until a ‘huge wad’ of Septims weighs down his hand!’

Speaking of which:

He pulled out a huge wad of Septim notes and was staring at them as he spoke.
I wonder how this was able to pass under ol’ Dhertee’s nose without even a comment!

Apparently Jak/Fathis was telling the truth when he said that the vampire attacks had left him disoriented. I am sure that Ocato and the Battlemages would have stepped in the second Jak formed the spell, but I am a little surprised that Jak never thought to lift the code from Uriel’s mind . . . if there truly was an authorization code. I’ll be interested to see what Jak does now that the plan is shot to Oblivion!

[Acadian]

Wow! This was exciting, expertly written and a joy to read!

You have me well-oriented here (quite the challenge, lol) and very comfortable with what is going on. That allowed me to really enjoy this segment which provided Jak's piece of things. Your portrayal of him as a vampire was chillingly effective.

Always a pleasure to see Uriel! I could just see old Jean Luc calling down, "What's the authorization code, Number One? How do I know you're not a Borg?" Seriously, that was a brilliant way to trip up Jak.

Argh! Just when we think Fathis is our hero, up steps the Gilster in all his silver-bladed glory. This is all very, very neat!

Brilliant, using one of the mages as a shield and escaping by literally taking flight. I'll second Grits that Jak's transformation to bird was a magically powerful moment that only you can bring to us.

[TheOtherRick]

You all are on triple digit chapters and I am still on single digit ones.

Ch. 5 - Graduation Day and Maxical's feelings for Fathis rise to the occasion. I loved the anecdotes about her inability to aim. What a shame about the armor...

Ch. 6 - The shame about the armor is compounded, first when Fathis see's it, then Maxical can't quite explain how it got there, and finally when she can't afford to purchase it back. Very nicely written sequence of events there. Time to work for the coins in the Arena.

Ch. 7 - Starting the scene in Ch. 6 and finishing here....what an exciting read. Maxical's antics with her tail to string the crowd along was inspired, and funny to boot. The propeller tail was hilarious to picture!

Great writing! Looking forward to reading more! I need to win the lottery just so I can stay home and read...

[mALX]

@ Foxy - Thank you so much Foxy !!! And for stopping in from your AWOL-TDY!!! You are always missed when you disappear like this !!

***
@ TK - I have known only a few people that can do that, that is a real gift. On my fave movies I can as well (but I've seen them a billion times probably, lol). If I ever get a repeat invitation to one of the backstage parties in Gatlinburg (I don't usually get invited anywhere twice, lol - once is normally enough damage to cover for anyone) - I will have to rope you into going too. They have competitions - shouting out the title of a movie and everyone starts calling out the dialogue - drinking wine and laughing at those that mess up or say one out of order - but all in good fun, no one gets hurt feelings. Don't get them started on the show tunes either - I did, and by the time the party was wrapping up it had deteriorated to songs from "The Wizard of Oz" and "Willy Wonka." Thank you so much TK !!

***
@ Grits - That particular Palace personnel has been seen in a previous chapter ... (chapter 67 at the very end of the Ocato scene, page 29). He has just a cameo mention in Chapter 70 (page 30) - it is Sneakers, he works for Damien "Foxy" Reynard - that should come out in two chapters. Foxy's character Damien doesn't do anything halfway - and when that chapter posts you will get to see some great additions Foxy himself made to that chapter that I can't wait to see hit the thread !! I am so glad the headings are a help for keeping thing straight time-wise - Thank You so much Grits !!

***
@ King Coin - Thank you so much KC!!!

It seems Jak will be taking the express route out of the Palace lol.

ROFL !!!

Uriel didn't know for a fact it wasn't really Fathis - but wasn't taking any chances either, not with a city full of vampires marauding. Also, I wasn't able to get across the speed everything happened at the end there - that has to be my own lack as a writer, I was trying to get it across that everything happened in split second timing.

Jak's vampire line has tremendous speed of movement, I need to make sure that comes across for moments like this - but probably faltered the ball on it this time. Sorry about that

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@ Destri - Thank you so much Destri !!! It is so great that you are back !!! WOO HOO !!!!

I fixed it so he says "Fathis Aren" and "The Emperor" - you were right on those two nits - I wrote that chapter on a miserable piece of 1000 year old junk PC with a rounded screen monitor, lol.

As I tried to explain to KC above, everything in that end part was happening in split second timing. It obviously didn't come across that way to the reader, and that is my fault.

Jak's vampire line has incredible speed of movement. He transformed into a giant vampire in that split second as he threw the chair at the window. His reach would have been tremendous, and he snatched the mage instantly.

Up till then Jak looked like Fathis Aren, which was why everyone was frozen against acting to attack him. Fathis was known and trusted by the Palace personnel - they were hesitant to act against him. (Jak never cast any spell, not sure what you referred to there).

As far as Uriel not "thinking the code in his mind while waiting for Fathis to give it" - He has too much military savvy for that. Uriel is not dumb by any means. He has ruled for 64 years at this point in the story - that is too long a reign to make stupid mistakes. As any great leader, he would have learned the tricks of his enemies. (like the ability for vampires to read minds or have super-hearing).

The Imperial City is on the brink of war, vampires running rampant - and suddenly Fathis Aren comes in acting strangely. And standing by Uriel's side is Gils, who just fought by Fathis's side and knows he was taken by the vampires - and who just escaped from the vampires himself. Gils would have told him something as well.

Then too, remember Uriel's past. Jagar Tharn, another imposter infiltrating his Palace. Uriel had trusted Jagar Tharn just like he now trusts Fathis Aren - He isn't about to make the same mistake again, if it is even just a possibility that someone could use illusion to impersonate Fathis Aren and access the Palace - what would stop them from deciding to impersonate Uriel next. That is why when Fathis couldn't produce the code, Uriel left the room and sealed it off from the rest of the Palace. Thank you so much, Destri !! It is great to have you back !!!

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@ Acadian - Thank You so much Acadian !!! WOO HOO !!! That means a lot to hear, thank you, thank you !!!! You ROCK !!!!

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@ Rick - Thank you so much, Rick !!! I have been going back over the chapters as you read them (and have seen a lot of edits I need to make, lol) - You are greatly appreciated for reading and letting me know what you think about it !!! Thank you !!

This post has been edited by mALX: Mar 23 2011, 03:46 AM