Oblivion's Edge, An Elder Scrolls Fan-Fiction Options

[Zalphon]

The Nine indeed are the Nine. However, you'd best study on the gods of Nirn if you'd like to be knowledgeable on the upcoming events

[Zalphon]

Chapter Twelve: The Champion of Nirn

As I reached the dungeon, I found Cleric of Arkay. He was a middle-aged man in ebony plate-mail. His gray hair was cut well and his nature was obviously nord by his size. "Come to take the test of Arkay?" he asked.

"Indeed, Great Cleric of Arkay," I responded.

Instantly a guillotine appeared and the cleric instructed me, "Put your head in the hole." Reluctantly, I did as commanded and the guillotine came slicing down. It stopped right above my neck, I could feel the blade touch the hairs on my neck.

"You passed, Arkay watch over you," the middle-aged nord stated.

With a nod, I left and went deeper in. This time it was to the Wine Cellar. The Cleric of Zenithar, a young, seductive Bosmer clothed in a white dress smiled. "Have you come to pass the test of Zenithar?"

"Indeed, Cleric."

An illusion of a peasant and a merchant appeared. The peasant was trying to sell his crops, the merchant wanted to buy them all for a tenth of their worth. "Sir, wouldn't it be wiser to just give him the money he asks, for then he'll know you're not a liar, nor a cheat," I mentioned.

The Merchant nodded and handed over a large bag of gold. Then they both dissapeared. "Zenithar watch over you."

With ease, I travelled towards the Lord's Quarters. There sat Akatosh's cleric. The elderly cleric sat in shining, golden scalemail. "I am the Cleric of Akatosh, is it time for your trials?"

"Indeed, Cleric."

A fountain appeared in front of me. "Drink from the fountain for eternal youth," the Cleric warned. "If you dare." I shook my head and it dissapeared.

"Akatosh watch over you," he said as I walked out.

I was now in the Courtyard and it was no average courtyard. It went for acres upon acres. Then out came a Cleric of Kynareth. A smiling Bosmer dressed in a fur skirt and fur brasierre. "The test of Kynareth is to prove you're one with nature," she giggled. "Teach this young wolf to not kill you on sight, and you'll have succeeded."

Out came a pup that charged at me. Then we met eyes and I whispered a spell. It came over and licked my face. "Kynareth watch over you. The last challenges are Julianos and Talos, the hardest."

I nodded and headed into the Throne Room. There sat Talos' Cleric and standing beside him in an advisorly fashion was the Julianos' Cleric. "The Test of Wisdom is simple," the elderly altmer grumbled. "What does the wise man know, that the smart man does not?"

"That a good heart will always bring you out on top," I responded.

"Julianos watch over you, Soon-To-Be Knight," he bowed.

The Cleric of Talos wasn't a cleric, but Talos Stormcrown himself. "I have watched over you since you were born, Kalian," Talos explained. "My challenge is to swear an oath of loyalty."

"To who?" I asked.

"To Tamriel," he commanded.

Obediently, I swore the oath and headed for the door. There stood a High Priest of Mehrunes Dagon. His skin was fiery red, just like his god's. "Prepare to die," he screamed as he charged.

I slid my blade between his ribs and hugged him. "It's not your fault," I whispered as he fell off my blade. I pulled open the gargantuan double-doors and there stood a bright-blue gateway. I walked in and a flash of light blinded me. Adam smiled when he saw me.

"Congratulations, you've learned the first step of the Old Code. You're officially a Knight of the Nine. However, you now must succeed in earning the favor of Magnus and Syrabane, you must read the Oghma Infinium, and unite the Daedric Princes against Mehrunes Dagon and his new Master. He has become a dictator to them and they'll gladly send soldiers to serve a champion," Quick-Strike explained. "Magnus is the God of Sorcery, Syrabane is the God of Warlocks. The Oghma Infinium was written by Haermaeus Mora after he got the knowledge from Xarxes. To gain Magnus' and Syrabane's favor, you must allow your very blood to be mixed with the very essence of magicka."

"The Oghma Ininium can be attained by earning the favor of Haermaeus Mora. After you have the favor of the fifteen daedric princes, you must march across Tamriel with your army of the daedra and followers of the Nine," he continued. "For the first time in history, the Aedra and the Daedra must work together for a common purpose. I most likely will die, Kalian. When I do, remember to make sure my death isn't in vain."

"Yes Quick-Strike," I barked. "I shall defend Tamriel from an empowered daedric prince and a lich that has attained god-hood. To say the least, we will have tales about us for the rest of time."

The quest I was set upon completing, would shape the history of Tamriel, for better or for worse. Zalphon or I would die, and Dagon or I would fall. The Nine are protecting me, soon the Daedra will be too.

"Adam?" I asked. "Is this the Old Code, to be a champion of the Aedra and the Daedra?"

"The Old Code is to be just and rightous, prophecy foretold a hero would arise and unite the Aedra and Daedra against a common foe," the Vampire saluted. "I'll be glad to serve under the Champion of Nirn."

The Champion of Nirn, was that what I was? I was defending Nirn from 'My Ancestor' and an Empowered Daedric Prince, perhaps I did earn this title. Nonetheless, I had to rest and then I had work to do...

This post has been edited by Zalphon: Jun 28 2010, 06:57 AM

[ureniashtram]

An interesting chapter. Aedra and all the Princes against Zalphon and Mehrunes D.? Nice idea. But, I have some nits, if you will.

"The last challenges are Julianos and Talos, the hardest."

and Kallian solved that challenge like one plus one. I understand what your trying to do, but how about you edit that part and tell us what he feels, his reactions, his thoghts and all that. Last I read, Kallian wasn't a ridiculously intelligent Dunmer(?) who could solve the Gods riddles like child's play.

Don't rush at things, buddy.

[Acadian]

Nicely done, Zalphon. I liked how the tests related to each of the Nine. Everything is coming together for what what seems like quite the epic quest!

Off to visit Daedra Princes it seems.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Jun 28 2010, 02:21 PM

[Remko]

I totally agree with Urianas. I like your ideas but (please don't take this the wrong way) they miss depth. I think Kallians at least would need to think about it.

[Zalphon]

Julianos was testing his heart, to see if he was truly worthy of the title (even though he didn't say it). Kalian made a logical guess based on what he had seen between Quick-Strike who is very wise and Evangeline who is very smart. Evangeline has few allies, Quick-Strike has been with hundreds over the years.

Talos was the first Emperor of the Septim Dynasty, he can sense the dedication in this one and wants him to succeed. So with his divine power, he secretly was ready to turn Kalian to ash if he was lying or had done cruel things. Only the purest of heart could pass the Trials of the Nine. The tests aren't as they seem.

Arkay tested Kalian's bravery and confidence in the face of certain death. Zenithar tested how persuasive he was. Kynareth tested his knowledge of command spells. Dibella's was at face value. Stendarr knew the Dunmer wouldn't kill the girl, but to be truly merciful, he would have to heal the wounds he inflicted and forgive (which he did).

Mara tested his spirit, many soldiers and knights just yell, "Silent, Wench!" He took the time to actually hear her out and comfort her.

The Tests of the Nine are more difficult than he knew. If he didn't heal the girl, the Cleric of Stendarr would've killed him. If Kynareth watched him kill the pup, she would've killed him. If Arkay thought he was afraid at all, he would've killed him.

Only the purest of heart can pass. For those they know are pure-hearted, they are much easier on (like Kalian) or if they commited atrocious acts, they are much more difficult for (like Adam). They can sense that Kalian has above average traits, but they know he isn't like his ancestor.

The Challenges vary for everyone. Adam nearly died in the Trials of the Nine, because he had to tame an enraged grizzly bear while having a levitation and a burden spell cast on him and a levitation and feather spell on it. He also nearly died during Stendarr's challenge when a frenzied orc in a full suit of daedric-made armor and a daedric battle-axe charged at him.

The riddles they gave him weren't meant to be difficult, they tested other aspects of him (as they always do). They observe your answers and reactions. Not all is as it seems. Do note, this is one of the very few times a member of the Nine will make an appearance in the story.

@Remko, noted, but I think I explained above.

@Acadian, Yes, why yes he does.

@Ureniashtram, Noted, see Remko's.

[Destri Melarg]

First I just want to say that this is the best writing of yours that I have ever read! The lore-geek inside of me is doing back-flips over the last couple of chapters. I can understand what Urenia and Remko are trying to tell you, but I can also say that I see a vast amount of improvement between this story and the last. Some of the things that caught my eye:

- The motley band of adventurers that you have thrown together is terrific. It would have been easy to make them a group of pious questing knights united in common cause, but you resisted that urge and made them as diametrically opposed to each other as you could. That is the mark of good writing! I am especially impressed with the detail of a necromancer and a vampire hating each others guts . . . that is inspired!

- Your descriptive details have become more specific. Before there was always a certain unfocused quality to your characters surroundings, it was as if the action took place amidst a perpetual fog. Now I get details like the stars shining like ‘silver lights in the middle of a black sky’ and the sound of armor clanking while characters walk. Urenia is right; you can and should take this even further. I for one would like to get a feel for how Kallian is dealing with the fact that he is suddenly such an important figure. Is he thrilled? Honored? Terrified?

- The tests of the Nine Divines . . . what can I say? All of them were very good! The tests of Stendarr, Mara, and Akatosh were particularly excellent (I loved the little Bosmer girl). In fact, they were so good that I was disappointed in the brevity of each trial. I think you could have devoted an entire chapter to each one (your chapters are usually pretty short anyway) and given us more description and lead-up to each in turn. Arkay’s and Dibella’s trials in particular would have benefited from more description.

The Tests of the Nine are more difficult than he knew. If he didn't heal the girl, the Cleric of Stendarr would've killed him. If Kynareth watched him kill the pup, she would've killed him. If Arkay thought he was afraid at all, he would've killed him.

Only the purest of heart can pass. For those they know are pure-hearted, they are much easier on (like Kalian) or if they commited atrocious acts, they are much more difficult for (like Adam). They can sense that Kalian has above average traits, but they know he isn't like his ancestor.

The Challenges vary for everyone. Adam nearly died in the Trials of the Nine, because he had to tame an enraged grizzly bear while having a levitation and a burden spell cast on him and a levitation and feather spell on it. He also nearly died during Stendarr's challenge when a frenzied orc in a full suit of daedric-made armor and a daedric battle-axe charged at him.

The riddles they gave him weren't meant to be difficult, they tested other aspects of him (as they always do). They observe your answers and reactions. Not all is as it seems. Do note, this is one of the very few times a member of the Nine will make an appearance in the story.

This is what we are talking about when we tell you not to rush. These are WONDERFUL details of your story that we as readers should discover within the text, not as an aside after the fact.

Finally, don’t take the constructive criticism you receive too hard, Zalphon. People only comment on stories or characters that affect them. If someone chooses to comment on your story it means that they have seen something in your work that moves them to want to comment on it. That is an amazing thing! When someone chooses to point out line by line how a story of yours can be improved it is not ‘nit-picking’, it is ‘constructive criticism’, the one thing that every good writer craves. And, make no mistake about it, you are a good writer.

[Zalphon]

I understand constructive criticism, and the secret of the Trials was meant to be discovered...later, much later...

I'm glad you like it, Destri. I've noticed I have a lot of views and would like to say, "If you're reading, start critiqueing."

I can't get better without people commenting. So, as asked above, please if you do read, comment on it. I've also done my best to involve as much lore as possible. Quick-Strike is the best to speak it due to his age. He tends to be the brains of the group.

I do accept (and acknowledge) that the Aedra and the Daedra working together is extremely hard to believe, but it is for a common cause.

[Zalphon]

Chapter Thirteen: The Daedric Pilgrimage Begins

When I awoke, Evangeline stood over me. "Sir," she said. "Are you positive we should go through with this 'quest'?"

The torch had burned out and the scared Breton had a small, light spell active. "I-I'm so scared," she stuttered. "I'm young, I don't want to die." I got up and hugged her tightly.

"It'll be all right, Evangeline," I whispered in her ear. "I promise I'll take care of you and the others." With a smile, she wiped the tears from her face and kissed my cheek. The Breton walked out and on the way out, cast a spell to light the torch.

What am I going to do? My followers are scared, even I am a little. However, I must not show my fear, a leader who shows fear will lose respect and they'll lose faith. I put my eyes in my hands and whispered, "Mother, wherever you are, I hope I'm making you proud." A burning, hot tear fell from my eye to the palm of my hand. I wiped the tears away and got in my armor.

"Let's go," I shouted. It echoed throughout the Caverns. Adam and Quick-Strike were soon behind me, following them were Evangeline and J'skooma. I could sense her fear, the demoralizing truth was, I had it, too.

I pushed open the wooden door and the moon was high in the sky. "How long have we been here?" I asked.

"You were unconscious for two weeks," Quick-Strike explained. "Worry not, we're ready to leave." Adam nodded and we walked out. As I exited, an arrow swished past me.

"Kill him, it is the will of the master," a voice in the darkness screamed. "You'll die, you nix-ho---." Something interrupted it. I turned around and Quick-Strike wasn't by me. A few more screams were heard, and then they all stopped.

"One of them carried this note," the Argonian said as he handed me the note.

"The Master has told me that the One of the Prophecy is in Charcoal Cave. Do not rush in, wait in the darkness for him to come out. When he has exited, kill him and the companions with him.

~Valkynaz Proditor"

"Proditor," I hissed. "He seems to be high in their military, we need to eliminate him. This is the second time he has sent assassins after me."

"Indeed," Quick-Strike agreed. "It would do serious harm to Mehrunes Dagon and his 'Master' if we kill Proditor. By kill him, I mean also destroy his spirit."

"Like the Champion did, long ago?" Adam asked.

"You can't kill a daedroth's spirit, I mean that in the singular term of daedra, not the species," Evangeline growled. "It's not possible."

"Wrong," I corrected. "Pelinial Whitestrake nearly did it, the Champion completed what Whitestrake failed to do in the White-Gold Tower. I will destroy Valkynaz Proditor, but first I must perform the pilgrimages to the Daedra, read the Oghma Infinium, and gain the favor of Syrabane and Magnus."

"J'skooma thinks you should do less talking and more walking," the Khajiit blurted out. "But then, what does J'skooma know? Listen to the cheese." The furry mage pulled out air from his bag and pointed to his empty palm.

With a sigh, I began to march towards the Imperial City to purchase a map of the Shrines of the Daedra in Cyrodiil.

[Acadian]

On the road and already under attack.

More insight into Kalian's thinking and even doubts induced by the authority and responsibility he now wields.

I like the vulnerability of Evangeline, and the unpredictable cleverness you weave into J'skooma.

You are building quite the fine story here.

[Zalphon]

To be honest, I think this is my best story so far. From the very first about a Dunmer Noble named, "Zalphon." An enslaved argonian named, "Quick-Strike." And an insane wizard named, "J'skooma."

I would just like to thank you all. The characters have all evolved. Zalphon, Quick-Strike, and J'skooma. Gold-Heart and Desmond Ashenborn. Kalarn Broodikus, Korvan Broodikus, Alu'kar Broodikus... These heroes are molded and shaped my mind, but they are detailed by your words and your ideas.

We have reached the 50th post.

A special salute to Malx, who has been with me since my beginning days when I wrote in walls of text with no grammar about demi-gods in daedric armor who wielded Umbra to this. Wherever she is, whatever challenges in life and in game she is facing, by the Nine I hope she can get through them!

To Acadian, you've been a reader for a few stories and I'd like to thank you for it.

To Ureniashtram, I want you to know that you critiqueing my stories is an honor, no a privilege.

To Remko, Rales, you're a great writer, as well as a great critic.

To Destri Melarg, When I first came here, I failed miserably as a writer. You turned away (or so I thought), but were always reading (although, silently). I'd like to thank you as well.

Once again, thank you all.

This post has been edited by Zalphon: Jun 29 2010, 10:45 AM

[Nikaya]

I think I may have a new antagonist. He is inspired by the nightmare of a dear friend of mine, her nickname is, "Nikaya." I'd like to than her.

Aww shucks...glad my terror was not for naught Can't wait to finish reading the story, sounds great so far!

This post has been edited by Nikaya: Jun 29 2010, 11:44 AM

[Zalphon]

Chapter Fourteen: The Map

The sun was beginning to rise as we reached the doors of the Imperial City. The guards wore ebony armor with closed helms and held ebony longswords. "Halt," the one on the right said. "You're to be searched for contraband, such as Skooma or Moonsugar."

They scanned through our bags and found nothing, then they allowed us to pass. The Vampire hastily made a retreat to the sewers and shouted, "After dusk, I'll meet you at this gate."

I just nodded and continued walking towards the Explorers' Guild. They were renown for going where no one had gone before and collecting artifacts. Surely they had a map at their guild-hall here. No one is quite certain where the real headquarters is.

In the Elven Plaza, I found it. A large guild-hall with banners on each side of the door with a map and a quill crossed perpendicular, and a sword beneath parrallel to the bottom of the map. I walked inside and there were a wide variety of people in here. Men and women dressed in fine clothing or expensive armors, mostly ebony, glass, or daedric.

The guild-hall was standard architecture used in the Cyrodiil Guild-Halls over five-hundred years ago. However, stone-work was well-done and the book-cases were lined with books that were centuries old. The Saryoni Sermons, the 2920 Series, the Poison Song series, the thirty-six lessons of Vivec, Vampires of Vvardenfell. To say the least, I was impressed. Saryoni Sermons and the Thirty-Six Lessons of Vivec were thought to be destroyed when Red Mountain erupted.

A lich stood by me and bowed. "Victor Mystblood, welcome to the Explorers' Guild. Are you here to join or for a map?" he asked.

"I would like to talk to the local head of the guild, please."

Down the intricate, wooden stairs came a man in a suit of daedric armor with a strange black sword with a purple glow to it in hand. He wore no helmet, revealing his dark-gray skin and red-dunmeri eyes. "Hail, High Explorer of the Imperial City," Victor said loudly.

"Are you the leader?" I asked this 'High Explorer'.

"High Explorer Fathis Hlaalu," he growled. "I am the local High Explorer, so I schedule the artifact raids and guild-exploration. Members are allowed to free-lance, but they must give ten-percent of all treasure to the guild. So, what do you need?"

"A map," I calmly explained. "Of the daedric shrines, not the temples, but the shrines to the individual daedra. I need a map of the ones in Cyrodiil."

"The Shrines of the Daedra, you do know the Temple of the Daedra is in the Temple-District, correct?" he asked with a acid dripping in his voice. "Or are you an N'wah raised in a pauper-house?"

"Yes, I do," I hissed. "But I want to show my reverence, by going to each one."

"One-thousand septims," the High Explorer barked. "No more, no less."

I pulled out my bag and handed it to him. "One-thousand drakes, now give me the map."

Fathis Hlaalu headed into a door behind the front desk which he stood at. Out he came with a rolled up scroll. "The map will show you where each of them is." I opened the map. The nearest shrine was Molag Bal's, west of the Imperial City and south of the Ruined City, that was once known as Chorrol.

Quick-Strike stated, "I do miss Chorrol, I stayed there for a few decades about two-hundred and forty years ago. The Second Orc wars about one-hundred and fifty years ago. Orsimer was captured and they surrendered. Warlord was executed, as well as his lieutenants. A lot of orcs died in the war, but Chorrol was one of the biggest blows they dealt. Ever since, the ruined city has been inhabited by marauders-clans, bandits, fugitives, and the survivors of the Second Orc Wars and their descendents."

"Molag Bal," she sighed in disgust. "The King of Rape as he is called created the vampires."

"I am not fond of him, myself," I grumbled. "Well, let's get some rest."

I marched towards the King and Queen Inn. The Innkeeper muttered, "Rooms are ten septims each." The old imperial had graying hair. The tavern was sub-par at best. Evangeline put forty drakes on the counter.

He handed her four keys. She handed each of us a key and I went up to my room. For what felt like hours I layed on the bed. Soon after, Evangeline opened the door to my room. She removed her ebon robes and grinned. I returned the smile as she crawled into bed with me. "I know you've noticed how I like you," she giggled.

"I have, and do return the affection," I kissed her.

To say the least, I forgot my troubles for the next few hours with Evangeline...

[Destri Melarg]

Good description of the Explorer’s Guild banners outside of their HQ, and I like the fact that you establish the sunrise as something almost sinister from the perspective of the vampire.

One thousand drakes for a map?! Highway robbery, I’d say!

The inclusion of the fall of Chorrol is just the sort of detail that adds depth and dimension to the world that you are presenting to us. Well done!

On the other hand, be careful of the phrase ‘to say the least’. It does nothing to help your story. In fact, it accomplishes the exact opposite and takes your reader out of the flow by putting the emphasis on the narrator instead of the story. And you describe the ‘intricate, wooden stairs’ that Fathis Hlaalu comes down. What makes them intricate? Are they carved? Painted? Jeweled?

Very nice work overall, Zalphon. I look forward to more.

[Acadian]

The rich detail you are now weaving in is great! Your story and characters are really beginning to come to life. This is some of your best work!

A midnight visit by Evangeline! Wonderful.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Jun 30 2010, 03:30 AM

[Zalphon]

By intricate, I did mean carved. Destri, I'll remember not to use, "To say the least."

Acadian, I am glad you're enjoying it.

[Zalphon]

Chapter Fifteen: The Shrine of Molag Bal

When we awoke after our tiring "exersize," Evangeline whispered, "We need to get dressed, it's time for us to leave."

"Akatosh has a way of always getting to that time," I grumbled. She slipped on her midnight-black robes, and I donned my armor. Adam opened the door and motioned us out.

"Molag Bal's shrine is about twelve hours away on foot," he said. "We need to get moving." I nodded, my unkempt black hair fell in my eyes. Evangeline pushed it away and kissed me on the lips again; I firmly hugged her.

"A Knight of the Nine with a necromancer?" he asked. "Now I've seen it all." The Vampire stomped out of our way and we quickly made haste. Quick-Strike was nowhere to be seen, J'skooma followed us closely. The night sky was vast and beautiful, the silver moon, the shining lights called 'stars'. However, icy winds blew, during the chilly night.

After hours, the sun began to rise, but we saw the shrine and a house nearby. Molag Bal's shrine had large horns and was aged. There were cracks in the stonework, but it was still easily recognized as the King of Rape. I opened the door to the house, and it was empty. The shoddy wood-work of this hut was enough to protect Adam for the night, but not be comftorable.

The one-room hut was barren. There was a hammock, a rug, and on the rug, a bowl, a spoon, a knife, and a fork. They were all very old items. The knife had much rust, as did the spoon, but the fork was fine. Clean.

Adam growled, "I sense no harm, let us rest." For the rest of my companions, sleep came easily, even for Quick-Strike.

I fell asleep after what felt like days and my dream was of being chained to the ground in an arena. Evangeline grinned at me and took out a dagger. She kissed me and whispered in my ear, "This will only hurt for a little bit, but it'll hurt a lot."

She plunged the blade into my stomach and twisted it. I roared in anguish, and awoke screaming.

Quick-Strike sat with his legs crossed staring at me. "The Shrine of Molag Bal can inspire many things, as can each of the shrines," he explained. "Once I made a pilgrimage to Meridia, I had dreams that night of hunting the undead. I warn you, Vaermina's shrine will leave you a husk of a man if you're not ready. I went their once when I was young. I almost didn't come back from the nightmares."

"I will take the advice, is it night?" I questioned.

"Indeed, I'll wake the others up, you wait outside," Quick-Strike commanded.

Shortly after, they were outside with me. I walked towards the shrine and kneeled, "Molag Bal, King of Rape, I am Sir Kalian Broodikus, and seek to earn your favor in my quest against Mehrunes Dagon and his Master, what must I do?"

An echoing invaded my mind, "Ah, the Champion of Nirn has finally arrived. I will allow you to command one-thousand of my daedroth if you sacrafice one of your companions to Oblivion or yourself."

"I wi--" I tried to say.

"Molag Bal, you inflicted this curse upon me. I will take the place in Oblivion for the crimes I have commited," Adam growled.

He turned aside to us and said, "I have walked Nirn for years, I have been to Akavir, I have been in the depths of Red Mountain, at the top of the mountains of Skyrim, in the deserts of Elsewyr, in the Ayleid Ruins of Cyrodiil, my time has come."

Quick-Strike responded, "I was wrong about you, Adam. You aren't a vampire, you're just in the body of one. You truly are a Knight of the Nine. May Anu watch over you, wherever you go."

"And may he watch over you," the Vampire bowed deeply. Black flames surrounded him. He was in Coldharbour now. Exactly like Nirn, except all the buildings are in ruin, the sky burns in everlasting flame, and the winds are as cold as Skyrim's mountains.

The echoing voice reappeared in my mind, "When you enter the Deadlands, there will be one-thousand daedroth waiting for you."

With a tear in my eye, I turned around. Quick-Strike pulled out the map and stated, "Let's head to Sanguine's Shrine first, and then to Clavicus Vile's."

Evangeline hugged me tightly, "I know you cared about him, a lot."

I nodded and wiped the tears off my cheeks. Adam was my friend, a dear one at that. He was one of the only people who knew the old ways. Quick-Strike and I were the only survivors of the Old Code. I began to march, knowing that his sacrafice was not in vain...

[Acadian]

You have several wonderful characters here. In this chapter, you used them all well. This was a well-written and powerfully poignant chapter. Well done Zalphon!

[Zalphon]

I actually was really sad to get rid of Adam. I really liked him. However, Molag Bal likes to corrupt mortal souls, so he claimed one. Also, I use the term Nirn (which is sometimes synonomous with Mundus, the realm of the Elder Scrolls, Nirn is the planet).

I use Nirn as the Realm of the Elder Scrolls. Kalian is the Champion of Nirn (or Mundus, since Nirn can be either the realm or the planet).

I just wanted to clarify that.

[Zalphon]

Chapter Sixteen: The Shrine of Sanguine

We walked slowly towards the Shrine of Sanguine. I was quiet and distant from my companions. Mundus lied on my shoulders, the fate of the gods themselves was my duty, and I had just lost my mentor. After about three-hours of travel, we saw the shrine. It showed a horned man with one foot on a skull and a tankard in one of his hands.

The cracked statue had empty wine-bottles and skeletons around it. "Oh great Sanguine, it is I, the Champion of Nirn," I called out. "We have come to seek out your assistance against Dagon and his 'Master'."

An echoing voice filled my mind, "I will send my finest cultists to your aid, if you Kalian can defeat my High Priestess in a drinking contest." Instantly materializing was a table, two tankards filled with a frothy beverage, two chairs, and in one sat a nude Imperial. Long, brown hair fell to her chest and covered it.

The Imperial snickered, "I've taken on nords who have sailed across the seas, I'll easily out-drink you."

I sat down and pulled up the mug. I guzzled down the beverage and slammed it on the table. Instantly it was refilled, and she did the same. For hours this went on, I think Mara was preventing me from the alcohol's worst effects, unconsciousness. Eventually the Imperial's head fell to the table.

"How, how is this possible?" the Voice roared. "Dianna has out-drank Barbas on occasion. Nonetheless, you succeeded, so my cultists will be there. My High Cleric will wield the Sanguine Rose."

"Thanks...hic," I hiccuped. "Now, can I pleash go now?" I tried to walk, but I fell and hit my head on a rock. When I awoke, Evangeline stood over me.

"We're in an abandoned home about a mile away from the Shrine of Sanguine," she explained. "The alcohol you drank would've killed any mortal with a single drop. I don't know what, but you're growing in power."

"I may be lessening my mortality, but I am still a mortal," I responded. "Sanguine proved that when I fell down in drunken stupor."

"J'skooma thinks you need rest," J'skooma purred. "Rest."

I closed my eyes and fell asleep. When I awoke I aheard Quick-Strike and J'skooma talking. Evangeline slept next to me on the floor in this abandoned two-story house. The wood-work was well-done, even the floor-boards were carved. "I think he's getting further in his journey," Quick-Strike said. "However, with each passing day, I can sense more of Zalphon in him."

"J'skooma thinks that the Dark One has no grasp on Kalian," the Khajiiti Wizard responded.

"Zalphon is more powerful than either of us had ever dreamed," he riposted. "I just pray his influence isn't affecting Kalian."

"J'skooma thinks you may be right," J'skooma grumbled.

"Remember when he was born. His mother died due to Korvan's treachery. You killed the maddened Dunmer. I held the child and swore an oath to make him my ward," Quick-Strike said at barely more than a whisper. "He'll never know, at least I hope he won't. Kalian will feel as if he owes me, and that simply can't be. The Dunmer may not be my son, but as far as I am concerned he is one of my own."

"I know."

A tear burned my cheeks to know the truth about my family. My father betrayed Quick-Strike and J'skooma. And he has protected me all these years? When my older 'sister' Syra became a Telvanni and tried to kill me, she wasn't heard from again.

It was his secret, and I wasn't going to reveal my knowledge of it. My 'father' was a good man, apparently. Korvan wasn't my father, he was the one that allowed me to be born. My 'father' was Quick-Strike. I wouldn't tell him, but I'd always remember who really cared...