QUOTE(Acadian @ Jun 22 2010, 11:24 AM)
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Fortunately I had found some wisp stalk and stinkhorn, along with a mortar and pestle. Thanks to Ardaline, in the Bravil mages guild, I knew how to use them.
I like that you mentioned how she learned alchemy--it gives just enough information about her past, without going into too much detail, since the point of the story is not meant to take place in her past. Good job!
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QUOTE(Acadian @ Jun 22 2010, 11:24 AM)
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All of a sudden a Red Robe burst through a secret door and summoned a suit of armor and mace. Before the Emperor could draw his sword or I could nock an arrow, the mace struck the side of Uriel Septim's head. There was a sickening crack, and the ruler of Tamriel fell. The assailant then turned to me, blood dripping from his mace. I nearly wet my pants, but managed to scream for help and began casting my fire spell as fast as I could while backing up. I brought my bow up in time to block the first blow of his mace.
I loved the "I nearly wet my pants" part. That was great!
QUOTE(Acadian @ Jun 22 2010, 11:24 AM)
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After producing some items from a pouch at his waist, Baurus uncapped an inkpot, then handed me a quill and a parchment form to fill out. "I need some information so l can make sure a full pardon is issued for whatever you're in here for. I don’t want the Legion stopping you on the way to Chorrol."
I had no idea what most of the stuff on the form was. I mean, I could read; Nilawen had taught me how so I could help her with the bookkeeping for her store. I simply didn't understand many of the questions. It seemed someone did though. I was beginning to trust Acadian, so I just closed my eyes and let him guide my hands to fill out the form.
I like how you went about this part, with the papers to exempt her and explain what class she is. I would never have thought of that.
QUOTE(Acadian @ Jun 22 2010, 11:24 AM)
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The beautiful white fur collar of the royal robes was now soaked with blood from the fatal head wound.
Smells. Rats. Goblins. Yuck. Daylight! Only a few slivers, but real sunshine ahead. Thank you Mara. Rusted and unused, the round gate required several kicks to finally creak open, exposing full daylight, fresh air and a beautiful lake.
I liked that you added the detail about the emperor's collar being soaked with blood, as it adds to the realism. Also, I like how you mentioned that the sewer gate was rusted and it was a nice visual to see Buffy kick the door open.
QUOTE(Acadian @ Jun 22 2010, 11:24 AM)
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I was so excited I started dancing around like a little, well, wood elf.
I love this line. And I also like how she wanted to freshen herself up, though I forgot to include that in the quote. Excellent job!
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