Commoners and Mages, Zerina's background Options

[haute ecole rider]

Ah, so now we see the seeds being planted for Rales's first meeting with Zerina!

I loved how you described the sword hitting the soldier 'in a sensitive place!' Would this happen to be that arrogant son-in-law or some such of a Legion general? Threatening the future of a general's bloodline is a serious crime, you know.

[Acadian]

I agree with Rider. I am so looking forward to Zerina meeting Rales and the two stories merging. You are doing a wondeful job of developing Zerina.

[SubRosa]

Once more, 'rina continues to be a delightful girl. I was about to say child, but at 15 she hardly qualifies for that anymore. In fact, it is about time she started noticing boys (and/or girls) now.

Mansilamat's tale of the hard day at work was an excellent way to set up his own eventual death as well.

It is not a nit, but when I read "cowardly scrib" the first thing I thought was "scaredy scrib" (as opposed to "scaredy cat") would probably sound better. You might want to use that instead.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jul 14 2010, 11:11 PM

[Remko]

@Everyone: I have a "small" gap to fill from 15 to when she meets Rales but I think I nearly finished this. Glad you liked the bit of foreshadowing I did with Mansilamat. Ofcourse I still need to adress how Zerina and Ranys (yes, thatRanys ) estranged from each other.

Scaredy Scrib...nice one. Changed it to that because that is exactly the thing a 15 yr old would say to dare his/her friends/ Thanks SubRosa

What do you think the girls were doing on that hill They were not having a picnic

This post has been edited by Remko: Jul 15 2010, 10:50 AM

[mALX]

I love the interaction between Zerina and Ranys, very typical siblings. You aren't the only one that fell in love with Zerina, I am so glad you are doing this background on her!