Maya, the memoirs of a Dunmer amnesiac Options

[TheOtherRick]

Ok,,,in a word...WOW! I just read the whole bit from beginning to stopping point (notice I didn't use the word 'end')

At first, I was mortified because the main character in my FF story is also suffering from amnesia. All I could think of was someone posting in my thread "Nice rip-off job dude!"

I solemnly swear I had not read a word of this until today.

With all that said....again...WOW! This is really good! Please keep it going.

BTW, I love the way the readers have tagged the protagonist as "u.D.g."

[Linara]

After surviving the CAHSEE I hurried to the computer, and finished this part of Chapter 7, after a month of indecision.

Rosa:Maya now has a name, finally. Not that anyone will remember to use it...I heard the Courier branched out to Tamriel lately. The Cyrodiil branch has been infinitely more successful

Acadian:Thank you. I'm trying to post more often, but semester finals are trying, to say the least. Baurus definitely feels responsible for the u.D.g., although she might not always appreciate. But so it goes...

mALX: That's in a few chapters...First he has to figure out her name

TheOtherRick: Thank you for reading, and not using the 'end' word. The u.D.g. has a way to go. As for rip-offs, don't worry about it. One, you probably wouldn't, and two aren't we all using someone else's world and story? By the way...Can we call you Rick? TheOtherRick is a bit long.

Chapter Seven Part Two
In which a name is given

Baurus had to push me into the tavern, but I didn’t notice, I was lost in a sea of names that had deluged me as soon as I tried to think.

It’s too much! I wanted to shout, but I couldn’t. Faces swirled in my mind, with names I vaguely remembered, Maelana, Hashiri, Damara. I fell on the ground, barely noticing the floor rushing up to me as it faded to black.

~~~~~~
You go too far this time. She could have died!

She did not die, and we must hurry. Time is of the essence. Martin has little left. The chapel is falling.

Your chapel? That’s rich. I suppose to hurry things up you’ll just show her your whole foolish plan?

Do not be ridiculous. Only when she is ready. And it is not foolish. Watch yourself Septim. Don’t overreach.

Look, she’s coming too. Give her a name, love.

You might make her prettier. Those ears are a mite big.

Shush. I’ve given it to her. Be brave Maya…
~~~~~~

There were two voices I heard when I woke up. One of them was Baurus’s, and it was frantic. The other was strangely familiar, a woman’s voice, gentle and pitying.

“Be brave, Maya” it whispered, and I knew then that I had a name. It popped out of my mouth as soon as I opened my eyes.

“Maya,” I said with a smile. The shaking stopped, and Baurus came in view.

“No, it’s me, Baurus. There’s no Maya around here. Are you okay? Can you remember anything?” he turned away, and addressed someone else. “She might have damaged something, did you hear that crack when her head hit the floor?”

“No!” I said loudly. I had not damaged anything. I was perfectly fine, and we needed to leave now.

“I’m fine, Baurus. I know who you are, and I know who I am too!” Baurus nearly jumped at this, and as he turned back to me I saw a small crowd gathered around to watch the spectacle. Taverns must be lifeless if this is exciting, I thought.

Baurus picked me up, and addressed a man with a strong resemblance to one of the sewer rats; “How much for a room?”

The man mumbled something, and Baurus nodded, then handed over a few coins. Where did he keep them? I wondered, and then I remembered that we needed to get to Kvatch. And that I had a name.

Baurus started up the stairs and I began to struggle.

“No, Baurus we have to head to Kvatch! We have to leave, now!”

I heard several laughs, but ignored them. Unfortunately Baurus was ignoring me as well. I continued to kick and struggle, but I was exhausted and in shock. If my only friend didn't listen to me, than who would?

[Acadian]

And she has a name! . . . but. . . those ears are a mite big? Argh!

I read her dream sequence over and over. A hundred possibilities come to mind, so obviously most of them must be wrong. You're a tease! More tantalizing questions than answers here!

Baurus picked me up, and addressed a man with a strong resemblance to one of the sewer rats;
How delightfully you put this! Baurus' protectiveness and a clear description of the innkeeper in so few well-chosen words.

[SubRosa]

Maya returns! Ears and all!

An intriguing conversation she overheard. Might I guess that one of them was Mara? and the other Talos? In any case a lovely way for the u.D.g. to find her name.

I see Baurus has swept her off her feet as well! Literally if not figuratively.

[TheOtherRick]

TheOtherRick: Thank you for reading, and not using the 'end' word. The u.D.g. has a way to go. As for rip-offs, don't worry about it. One, you probably wouldn't, and two aren't we all using someone else's world and story? By the way...Can we call you Rick? TheOtherRick is a bit long.

Yes, Rick is just fine.

And on the subject of names, it's great to see the u.D.g. get one too.

Acadian and SubRosa have already touched on it...I love the hook at the beginning of this write! I got the impression that it was a sub-scene of Gods looking down and conversing as events transpired, ( a la Zeus and Hera discussing Hercules ), rather than a dream sequence. Either way...nice insertion of some more mystery. Coincidence that her name is only one letter off from Mara?

Great installment!

[Linara]

It has been years, perhaps decades, since last I posted, and for that I apologize. Just...life, ya know? Well, and school, and finally, finally, submitting my first short story for an anthology. It's been crazy. Anyway, it's a short post, but I've gotten on top of the game again, and writing regularly, so expect another post next week.

In a group response, since everyone guessed, yes it was a meeting of the gods, and there were more then two present. Also, Rick, it is a coincidence that Maya's name is what it is. I was trying to think of a good name, and thought "Mara, why not!" Then I realized that there is already a rather important Mara, so it was back to the brainstorming...which led to Maya. So, here's the newest short installment - again, I'm sorry, but there are some places where it's good to split a chapter and this was one of them. Now to go check up on Buffy and Teresa...

Chapter Seven Part Three

The King and Queen Tavern was both noisy and small, and it took only a minute for Baurus to reach the room he had procured, even holding me in his arms. The room he turned into was small, somewhat grimy, and contained only a bed and chair. Baurus dropped me in the bed, which squeaked alarmingly. He sat down in the chair, after turning it to face me.

“You have a name.” Baurus stated. I gulped, then sat up and nodded.

“When I...blacked out, I heard these people talking. And there were these faces, with names. Too many of them. But one of the people, a woman, she called me Maya...”

I decided to leave out the part where my ears were called big. Although, I reflected, for all I knew they were huge. Baurus cleared his throat, which brought me back to the present. The ever-baffling present.

“Well,” he said slowly. “That is strange. But after what happened in the sewers, nothing is unbelievable. Did you hear anything else?”

“Well they said Martin didn’t have much time left. That the chapel is falling...Do they mean the chapel in Kvatch?”

Baurus nodded, and looked grim. “Unless Martin has left Kvatch, but we would have been informed...”

“So we should leave, now.”

This seemed like an important point to get through to Baurus, for along with my name I had been given a sense of urgency that made itself clear every time I thought of Martin.

“No, we shouldn’t. Do you know how many people we’ve killed in the last day? Not to mention the goblins, crabs, and rats that we encountered on the way out of the sewers! I, for one, am exhausted, and if you stop to think for a minute you’ll be fast asleep on your feet.”

As Baurus spoke I realized he was right, and a wave of fatigue hit me, followed by one of hunger.

“We didn’t eat...” I said slowly, but the temptation of a bed, no matter how small or grimy, was overwhelming, and before Baurus could reply I was asleep.

This post has been edited by Linara: Mar 12 2011, 03:01 AM

[SubRosa]

Yay, Mara Maya is back!

Do you know how many people we’ve killed in the last day?
A lot!

Our named Dunmer girl and her Redguard companion get a well-needed rest. I liked how you described the King and Queen as being very barebones. It goes with the low price of the room.

[ghastley]

un.D.g does appear to spend a lot of her time unconscious, doesn't she? I hope this a passing phase and won't happen during combat, or anything else.

[TheOtherRick]

Welcome back Maya and Linara! That was a tasty little morsel to get us back into the story. Tasty morsel? Oops, I forgot...no food yet... Glad to see Talendor isn't the only one worried about ear size. Looking forward to more.

[Acadian]

I really enjoyed this! You have a neat sort of camaraderie going between Maya and Baurus that is a pleasure to read. You make Baurus quite likeable and, via your first person narrative, make it easy to identify with Maya.

Oh Dunmeri ears are beautiful! So delicately curved and not too big at all! Of course we know that most young ladies are never satisfied with what Mara gave them.

Nit:
“You have a name.” Baurus stated. I gulped, than sat up and nodded.'
Here you want to replace 'than' with 'then'.

[Destri Melarg]

It is such a simple thing, but when Baurus tells Gladius that the Emperor is dead I actually stood up and applauded my computer screen! That is such an often overlooked detail! I know the citizens of Tamriel hear of the Emperor's assassination through the Courier, but how does the Courier hear of it? There are only two living witnesses and, in your story, they are together.

I imagine that over in the Temple of the One some Invoker feels a sudden draft while walking next to the Dragonfires! He promptly sends a runner who bursts into the Elder Council Chambers and yells 'Holy [censored]!' before passing out from exhaustion (it being such a long journey from the Temple District to Green Emperor Way). Ocato then dispatches a committee to study the extinguished flame and a team of battlemages who lament that confirmation of the runner's cry requires them to foray into the sewers!

I've been gone a lot longer than you, Linara. So don't feel too bad about the infrequency of your posts. Yours is one of the few stories that I was able to catch up on easily!

This post has been edited by Destri Melarg: Mar 14 2011, 10:08 AM

[Grits]

I really like your Baurus, and Maya is fun to read. She’s been hungry for a while now, no wonder she keeps passing out!

[Linara]

Rosa: Yep, Maya's back, and ready for some new clothes.

ghastley: Welcome, don't think I've seen you on here before. Maya does spend a lot of time unconscious, although messages from higher beings and lack of sleep will do that to you, I hear. Luckily the next couple of chapters will be written from a conscious viewpoint.

Rick: Thanks, it's good to be writing again. As for ear size..well, I think it's an elf thing.

Acadian: Thanks for catching the nit. Baurus and Maya's friendship is most of the story, at this point. Especially in chapters such as the one below, where the Emperor's ghost is nowhere to be seen.

Destri: I never really thought about how the news spreads...I always thought it was strange that the people in Pell's Gate knew before Jauffre, but apparently the Courier has priorities, and they don't include Weynon Priory. As for Baurus telling the Watch, well it's only logical. And it made for some good writing.

Grits: Welcome to Maya's story, and thanks for reading .

All: I have a few things to say about this chapter. Firstly, it seems a little shallow to me, but I've never liked clothes shopping so that could explain it. Secondly, my representation of Palonirya's character is taken from a story I told my sister about a girl who was taken in by Palonirya and Rohssan, and raised by them. It's been a while since I told that story, but the idea of a warm, friendly, open-hearted Palonirya remained. Also, I apologize for my weak description of the different races. Read and enjoy. Oh, and lastly, I think I've got a regular posting schedule again. Yay!

Chapter Eight Part One
Red Velvet

I woke with a start. Something had broken downstairs with a crashing sound, and in the moments it took for a loud voice to start protesting its innocence, I was crouched on the edge of the lumpy bed, katana in hand. Then I remembered where I was and sat down, feeling foolish but still on guard.

As it so happened, I noticed a person laying in front of the door. It was Baurus, but I didn’t recognize him at first, for he wasn’t wearing the bulky armor that had seemed part of his skin.

I stared at his arms, seeing the numerous scrapes and scars covering them, as well as their strange paleness. They were a stark contrast to my own smooth, blue arms. As I looked at Baurus, he stirred, and turned, almost impaling his head on the katana, which I still held.

“Kaoc!” He exclaimed in surprise, and I quickly moved the sword away.

“I wasn’t paying attention.” I said by way of explanation.

“Clearly you were not.” Baurus said in annoyance, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. He studied me for a moment, and then a loud growl broke the silence. Another followed, while I glanced around wildly, looking to see if an angry goblin had appeared in the room. Then I realized it was my stomach.

The suspicion in Baurus’s gaze cleared, and he laughed.

“You should probably eat. I had dinner, but it was impossible to wake you up...”

He stood up, brushing dust, splinters of wood, and who-knows-what-else that was on the floor from his clothes. I got off of the bed, feeling hungry, sore, and still tired.

“Breakfast, and then...” I glanced down at my legs, which were covered in scratchy, muddy, dried-bloody sackcloth. “And then we go shopping.”

~~~~~~~

I wolfed down the bread and cheese that we got on the bottom story of the tavern, as well as two cups of wine. Then I dragged Baurus out the door, knowing that somewhere nearby there was a shop with clothes that were much better than the ones I had on.

Sure enough, there was, although we walked about fifteen minutes to get there. The two of us turned more then a few heads, bedraggled and carrying weapons. My head turned as well, at the huge grey stone buildings, and the armored guards that seemed to be everywhere.

I marveled at the variety of people on the streets, who seemed vaguely familiar, yet completely strange. The small elves, many of them with bows and quivers of arrows. The tall elves, haughty and cold-eyed, towering over most of the other races, and clad in flowing robes. The lizardfolk were another marvel, and I stared at one with brightly colored blue and green scales for nearly a minute before Baurus suggested that we move on.

The catfolk were unique in their own way, graceful and rough, some of them rather intimidating to me. I saw a few who had skin the color of mine, but their hard, red-eyed stares had my hand going straight to the katana at my waist and my face turning away. I wondered if I had red eyes as well, but thought it a strange question to ask Baurus. Most people knew the color of their own eyes, I was sure.

The shops themselves were intriguing, and several times I stopped to peer through the open door of a shop. I glimpsed dusty rooms filled with scrolls and bottles, others with arrays of swords and armor. Baurus paused at these, but I pressed forward. Finally, after twenty or so stores, I found one that seemed right. When I peered inside, a vast sea of color and cloth met my eyes, dazzling and calling alluringly. I turned behind me to look at Baurus pleadingly. He sighed, and we stepped in.

An aging tall elf dressed in red and purple rushed over to meet us, and stopped short when she saw the state of my dirty clothing. She looked me over from head to toe, and then pronounced:

“Dark colors, I think. Maybe a hint of yellow or red.”

“Err...” Baurus hemmed and hawed to get her attention, then said “She’ll be wearing armor over it most of the time, I don’t think the colors really matter.”

“Of course they matter!” The shopkeeper was obviously affronted. “Young man, a woman’s clothes always matter, down to every detail!”

She turned back to me and smiled.

“Now dear, we shall find you some proper clothing. I have a lovely black gown that might fit you, with some longer sleeves.”

The woman grabbed me by the shoulders and steered me away from the door, leaving Baurus in who knows what state, and myself in surprise, and some delight. I was going shopping.

This post has been edited by Linara: Mar 23 2011, 08:02 PM

[Destri Melarg]

I have no idea what you feel compelled to apologize for! I thought this description:

I marvelled at the variety of people on the streets, who seemed vaguely familiar, yet completely strange. The small elves, many of them with bows and quivers of arrows. The tall elves, haughty and cold-eyed, towering over most of the other races, most clad in flowing robes. The lizardfolk were another marvel, and I stared at one with brightly colored blue and green scales for nearly a minute before Baurus suggested that we move on.

Was just great! As a matter of style, I would remove the second 'most' to avoid the repetition. You could replace it with 'and'. Also, 'marveled' is spelled with one 'l'.

As a male I can feel Baurus’ pain. Between Maya (thank the Nine we don’t have to call her U.D.G anymore), Lissa, and Buffy the shopping bug seems to have hit Tamriel, hard.

[SubRosa]

As our Second Age historian said, I do not see anything to feel bad about. This was a solid entry. Like him, I liked your descriptions of the various races within the Imperial City.

for he wasn’t wearing the bulky armor that had seemed part of his skin
I love this observation. It is one I share in the game, when you meet him later in the MQ and he is wearing regular clothes.

And then we go shopping
Yaay! I think Buffy can suggest a merchant who sells nothing but shoes...

I loved Maya's reaction to the other Dunmer. I kept expecting to hear one say: "We're watching you outlander!" Plus her wondering what color her eyes were was just perfect.

Finally, it sounds like Maya has found herself delivered into the arms of Palonirya. Now she will be just fine. "Anyone can wear clothes, but the right clothes!"

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Mar 24 2011, 12:28 AM

[Acadian]

'The small elves, many of them with bows and quivers of arrows.'
Psst. Hey, Teresa! I think she means us!

And just in time to go shopping!

“Young man, a woman’s clothes always matter, down to every detail!”
Quoted for its essential beauty and truth.

This was a delightful episode, and continues to develop our growing picture of Maya. Since she doesn't know the color of her eyes yet, it seems we are learning as much about her as she is! Another excellent reminder that she is still trying to discover who she is.

[Pyrmidal]

I really like this a lot, I'm trying to gather up and absorb all I can for my own Fan Fic, and I thank you for teaching me some useful things. I like this recurring theme of Amnesia, allows you to project ideas on what the character's (Maya's) background might be. Great job! I've just read the first two parts of the first chapter, I will keep on reading.

[Linara]

Remember what I said about a regular posting schedule? Well, it was all lies. Not on purpose, but there's this thing called a kernel panic... Anyway, I got sucked into Doctor Who again, and I've been writing fics for that, then school ate me, and now it's a month and a half later, and I've barely written a chapter. However, I feel guilty, and while it's not much, it is written, so I'm putting up the second part of chapter eight, which should really have a blanket title of 'Shopping in the Imperial City'. I know, I know, Baurus made a face too when I told him.

Destri: Aw, I liked the u.d.g! but it's nice to have an actual name to put with the face, er, vague description. Thanks for the nit-catching.

Subrosa: I suppose it wasn't an awful entry, but there was a sense of wonder that I wanted to enscribe into there, and it never really worked itself out... Maya's encounters with her kinsfolk are going to be fun to write, I just know it

Acadian: Yep, Teresa and Buffy are now the Bosmer standard in my head. Felt they needed a mention.

Pyrmidal: Hello there! I hope you can get a few more tips from my story than just the fact that I'm a horrible procrastinator, I think there's a little bit more than that. And Amnesia is very useful in this sort of writing, especially if you have a large plot that involves a lot of writing to put together. Hope you keep reading.

All: And here it is, part two. Read and review, that sort of thing.

Chapter Eight Part Two
For the Emperor

Over the next hour I tried on many different articles of clothing, ranging from delicate black dresses to thick brown pants that trailed past my feet. The shopkeeper, Palonirya, looked at me with sharp eyes, and was ready with an opinion on everything I tried. The rare moments that she was not flitting back and forth through her shop, searching for clothes, Palonirya was bemoaning the state of my hair.

When I looked in the ceiling tall mirror, I bemoaned my black tangled mass as well. As Palonirya put it, “It looks like you were dragged through a mud puddle backwards and then slept in a barn.” In truth, it was worse than that, and I wondered why there had not been gasping in the streets. Perhaps there was, and I was too busy staring at the city to notice it.

By the end of the hour I had decided two things: My hair needed to be chopped and burned, and I looked awful in green. Palonirya did not share the former belief, and she protested that “it only needs a thorough washing and combing!”

Baurus came in at that moment, and his eyebrows raised. I smoothed down the red skirt and shirt I was wearing nervously.

“Looks nice on you. Unfortunately we’re going to need some sturdier clothing than that. Have you got any...protective clothing? Leather, maybe some strips of chain mail?”

Palonirya bristled at the question.

“What do you take this for, an armory? This is a clothing shop. And what are you planning to do with this poor girl anyway? Take her into battle?”

Baurus looked a little embarrassed, and I wondered how he was planning on answering that question. Could he answer it? He took a deep breath, and studied Palonirya for a few moments. Then he began to speak.

“The Emperor is dead. He was assassinated about a day and a half ago. We were his...bodyguards, and we’ve been tasked to head north, to Bruma.”

If I was surprised by Baurus’s half-truth, Palonirya was stunned.

“The Emperor...d-dead?” she asked, wide-eyed. For a moment she had the look a a child who has just been betrayed by the world. Then the decades of adulthood slid back into place, and she looked at me critically.

“If you were one of the Emperor’s bodyguards then why did you come in here dressed in prison garb?”

“Camouflage.” Baurus said smoothly, saving me from what would have been a stuttering explanation that answered nothing. “We were attempting to get him into hiding.”

Palonirya nodded, and said “I’ll be a moment.” Then she slipped upstairs, and I was left to stare at Baurus.

“Why did you tell her?”

“Tell her about the Emperor? Because the Courier is probably printing up news sheets with the same story, or a dramatized version of it, and I have a feeling that Palonirya will spread the word just as fast. It saves me more explaining, because in two, three days at the latest, most of Cyrodiil will know, largely because of the three sources that now have this information.”

“Three?” I asked, putting the Courier in the back of my mind. I would ask him what it was later.

“The Legion, Palonirya, and the Courier. Most of the Legionaries gossip like old women after a few pints at a local inn.”

He smiled at his own words, and than we both turned as Palonirya came down the stairs. Or rather Palonirya’s body came down the stairs, her head was completely obscured by a large pile she was carrying. She dropped said pile at Baurus’s feet, and proclaimed “My life’s work.”

We both stared at her until she frowned.

“Go on, pick it up!” she said to me.

I bent down and peered at what seemed to be a charcoal grey leather shirt. On picking it up I discovered that there was also a pair of pants, and that the leather was not merely leather but something...thicker.

“I can feel metal in it.” I said. Palonirya looked proud.

“It’s enchanted, my dear. I had the man at Mystic Emporium do it. The strength of steel with the weight of leather. It’s also fireproof.”

Baurus looked impressed.

“What do you think?” I held the shirt up to my shoulders, and he gave a nod of approval.

“How much?” he asked Palonirya, and she shook her head.

“Nothing. And believe me, it’s hard to say that, but if you were sent by the Emperor...I couldn’t make you pay for it.”

Both Baurus and I were surprised, but there was a gentle understanding on Baurus’s face that told me the Emperor had been loved by his people, and Palonirya was no exception.

“Thank you,” he said softly, as he took the armour from my hands, and we headed out from the shop. Palonirya let us go without a word, standing alone amidst the piles of clothing with a desolate expression on her face.

[SubRosa]

Yay! I am so glad to see Maya return, even if it is on a bad hair day!

A clever bit of obfuscation by Baurus, telling Palonirya that they are headed to Bruma.

And clothes shopping! And not just any clothes, Palonirya's! So now our Named Dunmer Girl will be flitting about Cyrodiil in a skin-tight leather. Rawr!

Palonirya let us go without a word, standing alone amidst the piles of clothing with a desolate expression on her face.
This was simply wonderful, a powerful ending that reinforces that an age has indeed passed, and nothing will ever be the same again.

[Acadian]

Well, we have to get UDG Maya properly attired for adventure. Leather works!

'For a moment she had the look a a child who has just been betrayed by the world. Then the decades of adulthood slid back into place, and she looked at me critically.'
Not only was this passage beautifully written, but you employed it to perfection!

So it seems the dynamic duo may soon be northbound. Once Maya gets her hair sorted of course.

This post has been edited by Acadian: May 10 2011, 12:25 AM