Jerric's Story, A Nord's Adventures in Cyrodiil Options

[haute ecole rider]

Ai yi yi! I always thought summons were a piece of the spellcaster's magicka - an extension of their energy so to speak. But the way you describe it feels like it might be more effective. Hmmm, food for thought.

And Darnand has a horse?

My plan with Fort Strand always involved using the shadows and sneaking around, lots of camouflage and detect life spells.

[Acadian]

What delightful banter between Jerric and Darnand! So they are considering a task in Fort Strand. And a Bosmeri huntress at the guild who is an illusionist? That sounds excitingly familiar, since you don't see too many mystic archers.

It was great fun to hear Darnand's thoughts on soul gem filling and summons. Very interesting and well-thought out.

As ever, just a real pleasure to read!


Oh my. I do have one sort of writing nit. It is a small one and quite subjective. To make matters worse, it takes a moment or two to explain. I see a tendency for you to minimize use of speech tags - to the point that it causes the reader to work a little bit to keep track of who is speaking. At least for me, that is slightly distracting. Here is an example where I would recommend a few more speech tags. Again, it is certainly possible to sort out who is speaking but additional speech tags would let it flow without having to think about it. ---

“Well, I saw why they call her Maeva the Buxom.”
“Plus she has a set of hips that a man could hang on to. She works that farm alone. She must be as strong as a horse.”
“It appears that she perspires like a horse. She is not overly pretty.”
“If you put a Nord on the Gold Coast, there’s bound to be some sweating, even in Evening Star. Anyway, she’s lonely, and I think she likes us. She likes me, at least. I guess that makes her pretty enough.”
“She is married. Remember Bjalfi the Contemptible?”
“She’s married now. I don’t think this Bjalfi is going to hand over the mace and trot along home. ‘The Contemptible’ is no joke, leaving his woman is the worst kind of betrayal. Bjalfi is a disgrace.”

Now, please remember that I pride myself on being a very simple writer. One of the casualties of that is that I read the same way. So. . . you can certainly ignore this and not hurt my feelings.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Jun 5 2011, 12:33 AM

[Zalphon]

I like that discussion on summoning

[Ceidwad]

I've caught up now. I love the fine detail you weave into your story and of course the witheringly hilarious humour. Your characters are marvellously alive on every page of your story and every page makes me laugh.

Some of my favourites from the last few pages:

[Abiene] rested her hand on Darnand’s shoulder and lifted her skirt to step over the bench. Jerric looked, hoping to catch a glimpse of thigh. Then he quickly looked away, hoping he hadn’t been caught.

Surely he got a good enough look before? Classic Jerric.

“What happened?” Gulitte asked Darnand eagerly. Darnand’s knuckles were still white on his kahve mug. Jerric considered kicking Gulitte, but he couldn’t get an angle.

Cursed geometry! Brilliant touch of detail there.

It could have been hours later, or only one. Jerric’s head pounded as if he had tried to drown himself in flin. His neck burned with tension, and his legs needed to run. Abiene looked ready to weep. He still had not learned any illusion magic.

“Once again,” Abiene said hopelessly.

“Never mind, I’ll keep using torches.”

The subtlety of illusion eludes Jerric? I guess that's the price he pays for being a jack of all trades rather than a full-time mage. But hey, as long as those trusty torches are around, who needs magicka? Love Abiene's feeling of exasperation here.

“You don’t see many dark-haired Nords.”

“Darnand, are you telling me you spent that whole time looking at her hair?”

“Well, I saw why they call her Maeva the Buxom.”

“Plus she has a set of hips that a man could hang on to," Jerric remarked. "She works that farm alone. She must be as strong as a horse.”

“It appears that she perspires like a horse. She is not overly pretty.”

Lovely rapport, as ever, between Jerric and Darnand. I wonder how Jerric would have Maeva exploit her horse-strength? Then again, probably shouldn't go there.....

And then I also enjoyed the discussion of necromancy and summoning. Very logical and well-thought through.

[mALX]

“Plus she has a set of hips that a man could hang on to," Jerric remarked. "She works that farm alone. She must be as strong as a horse.”

“It appears that she perspires like a horse. She is not overly pretty.”

“If you put a Nord on the Gold Coast, there’s bound to be some sweating, even in Evening Star. Anyway, she’s lonely, and I think she likes us. She likes me, at least. I guess that makes her pretty enough.”

ROFL !!! Jerric is as natural as they come, and for once Darnand is the hilarious one, ROFL !!!

He felt an unfamiliar sensation. It was his brow furrowing.

Loved that line! Jerric is used to thinking split-second on his feet, not pondering weighty matters, lol.

Darnand revealed a subtle humor in this chapter that rounded him out a bit!

Awesome Write !!!

[SubRosa]

Caught back up again. I am not surprised that Jerric reacted badly to his first taste of illusion magic. He is a man of direct action, the kind who does things with his own two hands. I can see why the idea of something that subtly alters his perceptions would unsettle him.

Also a nice bit of world-building with the summoning of undead. Isn't it interesting that you can only summon monstrous things in this game? I think the devs just did not want to go to the time and effort to create a 'good' class of summons, so they just recycled the daedra and undead instead.

So now Jerric and Darnand (and Buffy?) are an adventuring team? A nice bit of realism with the understanding that one person cannot hope to tackle a marauder fortress by themself. In the game of course, all your enemies are kind enough to spread themselves out, never use lookouts to warn of dangers, organize a defense against incursions, or pay any attention to the guy dying from arrow-fire right beside them. How refreshing to see a bit of reality instead!

[Grits]

haute ecole rider: I’m out on a limb a little with summoning, I’m glad it seems to work. Now that Jerric has someone who will answer his questions, he’s thinking more about magely matters. Sneak and snipe is how I always handle Fort Strand, too, as well as the Azura quest. Then along came Jerric with his heavy feet and shiny suit. He needs a different plan.

Acadian: You’re so right about that section you pointed out, I removed too many speech tags while I was editing. I always hope to make reading as free of distractions as possible, thank you so much for bringing that to my attention! I added a few speech tags to smooth that part out.

The Bosmer invasion continues! Jerric was lucky to find her, I hear that Bravil is the place for an archer to be this season. I’ve finally made her into a game character so that I would have a better idea how to write her, and we have been having so much fun. She is pretty much the opposite of Jerric! Darnand is finally enjoying Jerric’s company, I’m glad it showed.

Zalphon: I’m glad you liked it! I thought I should get the basics down before I start adding things.

Ceidwad: I think Jerric could always stand to see a little more. Thank you for your kind words, I’m so glad you’re enjoying the story! It’s fun to write Jerric and Darnand out in the world together, where Darnand is less likely to get annoyed by Jerric. I’m glad the necromancy/summoning worked for you, there are some fun things to add if I ever get to it.

mALX: It was fun to show Darnand loosening up a little. You are so right about how Jerric thinks! Thank you, mALX!

SubRosa: You have identified Jerric’s issue with illusion magic perfectly. Just about the worst thing he can imagine himself doing is acting on a lie, which is what illusion could do to him. I had to postpone the discussion of summoning animals until I figure out how to do it in the story, I think conjuration could provide all sorts of interesting spells. Hopefully this hunter can help shed some light. I love Teresa’s mountain lion in your videos! I agree, the game could have done a lot more with summoning.

Where we are: Planning an assault on the Fort Strand marauders.



Chapter 11 Holidays: Part 2


Jerric stood alone in the mages guild dining hall, waiting for Darnand to find the hunter. The tables had already been laid for the evening meal. Not for you, he reminded himself. You smell too much like work. Darnand strode into the room and stopped at Jerric’s side without speaking. A small figure followed him on silent feet.

Jerric quickly looked her over. She wore her dark hair pulled off her face into a high braid that hung down her back, he couldn’t see how far. Her skin looked browned by the sun, her eyes the light green of new leaves. Her delicate ears swooped up majestically, framing her heart-shaped face. Her fine features wore a calculating look. He thought that if he reached out and tweaked her adorable little nose the way he would like to, he would probably draw back a stump. Her erect carriage and springy stride reminded him of an acrobat. She looked trim and strong in her simple green dress. He guessed that under it, her shoulders and back would be tightly packed with muscle. Her front was nicely round, he noticed. There was much to admire in her diminutive frame. He decided that a better time to study it would be later.

“I’m Jerric,” he said.

“Lildereth.” Her voice made him think of clear water. She was examining him critically under a sharply angled brow.

“Pleased to meet you.”

“Couldn’t you find anyone bigger?” she asked Darnand. “A dead man could hear his footsteps.”

“You’ll be able to stand behind me and shoot between my knees,” Jerric told her.

“I’m sure you don’t even use your sword,” she retorted. “You just whip out your meat and beat them to death with it.”

Jerric’s eyebrows went up. “The mouth on you,” he breathed in admiration. Felen glanced over at them as he passed with his stack of books.

Darnand looked as if he was experiencing a pain. “Perhaps we might retire to a place where we can talk. I suggest the Count’s Arms.”

“How about The Flowing Bowl,” said Jerric. “Wilbur doesn’t like me. Plus the sun will be going down soon, and the best place to see it is the harbor.” The other two were giving him looks. “What?”

“Nothing,” said Darnand. “The Flowing Bowl, then. Let us proceed.”

“I want to check your gear,” Lildereth said to Jerric. “You keep everything here?”

“Yeah, in the basement.”

“Let’s go there first.”

Lildereth examined Jerric’s gear without comment. Jerric decided she was saving up her remarks for a venue less crowded with curious Associates. The basement workroom was buzzing with tense students trying to finish their tasks before dinner.

Soon she stepped back from Jerric’s cupboard and gave him a nod. He took that to mean she was satisfied, or at least finished looking. “You don’t need to show me yours,” he said to her with a grin. A sideways glance told him she was amused. “Let’s get over to the Bowl. I’m afraid you might not make it back here in time for dinner.”

She shrugged her reply. Jerric knew that Darnand was never concerned about his next meal. The three of them made their way Harborside to The Flowing Bowl.

The tables inside were crowded, and the air full of muttering. They found Caenlorn behind the bar, looking hassled. He slammed three bottles onto the planks without taking their order. “Beer!” he announced. “Take it or leave it! Meat’s not ready yet!”

Darnand put the coins down, and Jerric scooped up the bottles. “Do you have anything left from lunch?” Jerric asked Caenlorn.

Caenlorn’s eyes began to slightly protrude. His mouth worked violently, but no sounds made their way out. Jerric decided to flee before the mer got his tongue organized.

Lildereth led them upstairs and out a narrow door Jerric had never noticed. He followed her up a ladder to the Bowl’s flat roof. The spare furnishings told him that a select few regularly enjoyed the harbor’s sights from this semi-private perch. Lildereth quickly pulled three chairs together. She seated herself with a smile, indicating the vivid sky with the sweep of one hand.

“Sunset,” Jerric said, grinning. He handed her a bottle. Darnand took one and seated himself gingerly in the Bosmer-sized chair. Jerric simply sat down on the boards. He thought Caenlorn might have a fatal fit of temper if he broke something. The evening was too fine to ask for that kind of weight on his conscience.

Jerric could see ships’ masts and rigging, Anvil Castle, and the top of the lighthouse from his position on the roof. The railing around the street side appeared to be solid, but the fading light shone through at regular intervals through vertical slits. Jerric knew that from the street, the roof appeared to be peaked. This spot would make an excellent lookout over the harbor. He marveled that Lildereth had shown it to them.

Darnand sat back with his bottle in his hands, watching him. Jerric decided that meant he should do the talking. She hasn’t agreed yet, he reminded himself.

“There’s a Nord woman in Whitmond, name of Maeva the Buxom,” Jerric began. “She married a man named Bjalfi the Contemptible, if you can believe it. Her Fa gave them a family heirloom on their wedding day. Rockshatter, a mace. It’s enchanted with shock and weakness to shock, so you can guess it’s valuable. Also I wouldn’t want to get hit with it, at least not more than once. Anyway, this Bjalfi grabbed up the mace and ran off to Fort Strand to find his fortune with the marauders there. We’re assuming he’s alive and working with them. Maeva wants her mace back. She was unspecific as to what we should do with Bjalfi.”

Lildereth’s expression was hard for Jerric to read. She looks thoughtful, he decided.

“Are you hiring me, or would we be partners?” she asked.

Jerric glanced at Darnand. “Partners,” Darnand said. “Even split.”

“So I won’t get paid if we decide it’s a bad job.”

“No,” Darnand answered her. Jerric realized there was a lot he hadn’t considered.

“What do you know about the marauders?” she asked.

“Nothing yet,” said Darnand. “I expect we should watch the fort for at least a day to get an idea of their numbers. Jerric will ask around at the Fighters Guild to see if he can get an idea how the ruin is laid out underground. He trusts that no one there would be in contact with the gang. The reward from Maeva will be minimal. We anticipate selling what we find in the fort.”

Lildereth looked thoughtful some more. “I know what you can do,” she said to Darnand. Then her eyes went to Jerric. “And I’ve heard of you. What else should I know?”

Jerric’s mind went to the lava tunnels he had passed through in the Deadlands. “I’m not so great underground,” he admitted. He hoped he didn’t look as uncomfortable as he felt. “I get lost sometimes. I can find my way back once I come across something I’ve killed, though. I just need landmarks.”

Lildereth’s expression didn’t change. “I suppose you’re not much of a liar,” she remarked. “We need to go through some caves first for practice. There are plenty along the coast. I’d like to see how you move before I agree to this job.” She looked over at Darnand. “You too, I don’t want a fireball in my back if you get jumpy.”

“Fair enough,” said Jerric. Darnand nodded.

“Do you have questions for me?” she asked.

Darnand answered first. “Felen vouched for you. Should concerns arise, I will surely ask you to address them.”

“I’ll know what I think when I see you shoot,” Jerric told her. He knew Lildereth would not take that as an insult. “I guess a cave trip is a good idea, even if we don’t run up against anything more fearsome than a mudcrab.”

Lildereth made a decisive nod. “About your gear, Nord. Whatever we plan, we will rely on stealth. I’m not taking you into the shadows in plate armor and mail. You make enough noise just breathing.” She looked him straight in the eye. “I’m not asking about your helm, but I could tell it’s enchanted.”

Jerric had been expecting this complaint. Her expression had said a lot when she examined his armor. “I’ll talk to Morvayn about some leather. You’re right about my helm, that could make up the difference. What else?”

“Can either of you cast a spell of silence?” she asked them.

“You mean curse someone’s magicka?” said Jerric.

“No, a spell to magically dampen the sounds that you make.”

Jerric glanced at Darnand. He looked as surprised as Jerric felt. Darnand gave his head a small shake. “Uh, no,” said Jerric. “Sounds like illusion magic.”

“It is.” A shadow passed over Lildereth’s face, and then it was gone. She ran a scathing glance over Jerric. “It would be useful for someone like you.”

Jerric shook his head. “It would have to come from a scroll or a potion. My head’s not made for illusion.”

“Such a spell would be of interest to me,” Darnand told her. “Perhaps we can discuss it at a later time.”

Lildereth gave Darnand another brisk nod. “Let’s talk about potions,” she said to Jerric. “I have all the poisons I’ll need. In addition to the usual restoratives, I would suggest you bring some to provide a chameleon effect, to help keep you hidden. If we get in a real scrape, you’ll be the one out there trading steel. They won’t be able to find me, if I’m doing my job. I suppose you’re familiar with shield magic.” She looked over at Darnand. “Mage?”

“If it comes to fighting, I shall conjure a daedra to increase our number, then fall back with fire spells. Perhaps a fire atronach. You might absorb any stray attacks, Jerric, and her fire will make it harder for the enemy to distinguish her attacks from mine.”

When Darnand finished speaking, Lildereth looked back over at Jerric.

“I could spin a fancy tale, but what I’ll likely do is summon Slim and go in swinging,” Jerric said. “Maybe I should summon Precious, though, if we’re using fire to confuse them.”

Lildereth’s eyebrows went up, and her lush little mouth began to form a question.

“Slim is a skeleton. Precious is his scamp,” Darnand said to Lildereth. “Are you able to summon an ally?”

“A skeleton,” she said ruefully. “But I can’t always control her. She might attack either one of you.”

“She?” Darnand and Jerric both asked. They shared a skeptical glance.

“Yes, she. Why not? Must you humans assume that all dangerous creatures are male? Besides, I can tell from her pelvis that she was once a woman.”

“Oh,” said Darnand. His expression said the rest.

“Ugh,” Jerric agreed. He decided he didn’t want to know any more about that subject.

“We should discuss security issues,” said Darnand. “Specifically, how we will examine the contents of locked containers. I have some alteration magic, but my spells are unreliable.” Both men looked at Lildereth.

“I don’t suppose you’re a locksmith,” she remarked to Jerric.

He laughed. “I hope I don’t insult you by assuming that you are.”

Lildereth gave a small smile. For an instant she looked hauntingly beautiful, then her business expression slid back into place. “How will you two see in the dark? Their living quarters will doubtlessly be well-lit, but getting there unseen will be critical.” She paused, looking straight at Jerric. “What I mean is, no torches.”

“I have the appropriate spell,” Darnand said.

Jerric sighed and shook his head. “So far I’m not bringing much to this party.”

Lildereth gave him another candid look. She spoke with crisp precision. “If I am able to work as I plan, you will be needed only to carry home the salvage. If I am not, you are the most likely to see your blood on the floor. That is the nature of our respective roles.”

“Uh, right.” Jerric saw that Lildereth was still watching him expectantly. “Oh, I have a ring that will let me see life energy. I can follow your life signs, and use a potion if I need to watch my footing. I guess I’ll be keeping my calcinator hot while you take your turn watching the fort. Any idea what I would need to make a potion of silencing like that spell you mentioned?”

“No,” Lildereth replied quietly. “I learned the spell in Valenwood, from a Khajiit. Perhaps an alchemist from Elsweyr would have a better idea.”

Her expression brought more questions to his mind, but Jerric knew they would have to wait. He looked a little harder at Lildereth. She didn’t appear any older than he was, but he knew that meant next to nothing. This isn’t your Running Wolf team, he reminded himself. Working together doesn’t make you friends. After the job, you may never see this elf again. Forget about what might make her look sad.

“A cave, then,” Darnand spoke up. His eyes were on the Bosmer. “Do you have a suggestion?”

Lildereth smiled wider this time. “I know just the one.”

This post has been edited by Grits: Jun 7 2011, 06:36 PM

[mALX]

Jerric's huge appetite keeps me rolling, you pop it in at the funniest times! Lildereth is certainly an interesting addition, I like this trio, it is bringing out the best in Darnand and Jerric both - I love seeing the two of them back working side by side again, they play so well off each other. Awesome Chapter, and intriguing !!

[Acadian]

Wonderful! Jerric and Darnand were brilliantly true to form, but Lildereth really stole the show here. You so perfectly capture the mindset of an elven huntress, exemplified in these two passages:

"If we get in a real scrape, you’ll be the one out there trading steel. They won’t be able to find me, if I’m doing my job."

“If I am able to work as I plan, you will be needed only to carry home the salvage. If I am not, you are the most likely to see your blood on the floor. That is the nature of our respective roles.”

For good reason, she is cautious, skittish and extremely detailed in her planning - right down to requiring a rehearsal with her potential partners.

You did a beautiful job with this three way dialogue. Your supporting mannerisms and actions were perfectly natural and it was totally clear who was speaking at all times. So nice in fact, that it was quite easy to just melt right into the dialogue - especially the roof top exchanges.

[D.Foxy]

DANG...and friend Acadian has preempted most of what I was gonna say!

Grits - you DO have a gift for dialogue. Ever thought of becoming a screenplay writer?

And now, the obligatory DFoxy sixth grader humour:

“I’m sure you don’t even use your sword,” she retorted. “You just whip out your meat and beat them to death with it.”

I thought men were supposed to beat their meat by THEMSELVES???

[haute ecole rider]

Acadian already commented on the things I noticed, specifically Lildereth. She sounds like the sort of heroine I usually write - tough, competent, and mysterious. I really liked her and thought her addition added something to an already fantastic story.

And Foxy, sometimes men need a little help beating their meat, know whut ah mean?

[Grits]

mALX: Thank you, mALX! Jerric gets his appetite from my brother, and other athletes I have known. My brother once looked up from his plate and said, “I’m still hungry, but I’m so tired of chewing!” I’m glad you like Lildereth so far. She has been waiting since the winter for her chance to get in the story.

Acadian: Thank you, Acadian! Your approval of Lildereth means so much! Her skill set is of course very much inspired by Buffy. Bravil’s blonde Bosmeri bowgirl is so different from Jerric, she is an ongoing source of fascination.

D. Foxy: Thank you, Foxy! About the meat, I think you must be right. Perhaps someone should do some research to be sure.

haute ecole rider: I’m so glad you liked Lildereth, and you describe her just as I see her. She’s still a little mysterious to me! Thank you, haute!


Where we are: Jerric, Darnand, and Lildereth have planned a practice run before they take on the Fort Strand marauders.



Chapter 11 Holidays: Part 3

Jerric leaned against the dining hall’s door frame, waiting for Darnand to finish speaking with Abiene. The two of them stood with their heads bent slightly together. Both of them had their arms crossed over their chests. Darnand wore the intent expression that usually indicated he was deeply involved in his work, and an excellent target for a prank. Abiene’s pink cheeks and sweet mouth filled Jerric’s mind with a rush of distracting images. He wrenched his attention back with an effort.

They make a handsome couple, he noticed. Both of them dark-haired and elegant. They even sound good together. Their voices rose and fell in the lilting cadence that he associated with Bretons. They mostly sound that way when they’re talking to each other, he realized.

Darnand turned and started toward him, and Abiene looked over at Jerric behind his back. Her dark eyes seemed to fill with promise.

“Have you made your preparations?” Darnand asked him. He raised an eyebrow. “I am certain that smile is not for me.”

“It’s a great day for a walk up the coast,” Jerric said hastily. He reached out and thumped Darnand’s shoulder to distract him. “Where’s Lildereth?”

“Right behind you,” said Lildereth. Jerric flinched in surprise.

“All right,” Jerric said. “Let’s go.” He nodded his farewell across the room. “Abiene.”

Abiene’s warm smile included all of them. “May Stendarr guide your steps, my friends.”

It was indeed a great day for a walk up the coast, Jerric decided. Lildereth led them along the grassy hills behind the dunes. The air was cool enough to keep him from sweating. The sun sparkled on the water off to their left, and the breeze coming from the sea felt playful. Lildereth turned inland before he even wanted a snack. They walked for only a few more minutes before she stopped them. She looked up at the hillside, pointing. “There,” she said.

Jerric stood looking up at a square opening in the sandy bank. The dressed stone surrounding the entrance appeared to be intact, but the ground had fallen or washed away under it. An ugly scramble up to get in, he thought. Or a drop down from above.

Lildereth spoke beside him. “It’s an old sewer. I’ve been through some of the passages, but not into the vaulted areas that must lie beyond. The life signs in there moved like undead. Should be an easy morning for you two.” Her glance took in both Jerric and Darnand, then returned to Jerric. “Or I know some dry caves we could walk through instead.”

“Um.” Jerric started talking before he could think what he would say. He didn’t want Darnand to have a chance to say no yet. “Looks like… Maybe… Ayleid.” Lildereth’s expression informed him how he sounded. “Garlas Malatar? That must be miles away.”

She blinked and twisted her lips into her half-smile. “Well, it seems you don’t carry all of your brains in your trousers. The ruin above ground is some distance from here, you’re right. I can’t confirm that this sewer connects to the chambers underground there. But I believe it was part of the same city.”

Jerric tried to keep his battling thoughts from reaching his face. He would never go into such a place on his own, but he longed to know what was in there. He tried to think what might tempt Darnand.

“Let us enter the passage,” Darnand said, to Jerric’s surprise. His expression looked bland. Jerric decided he must be concealing his own internal struggle. “We will proceed in the manner we discussed. Lead us as far as you have explored, if you please. At that time we will evaluate whether to continue.”

Lildereth turned and immediately began her nimble ascent to the opening. Jerric followed her more slowly, and with considerably more swearing. He heaved himself up onto his knees in the stone passage. Lildereth knelt inside watching him, as still and silent as one of the shadows. To Jerric’s shock, Darnand was right behind him.

“What the… Did you levitate or something?” Jerric asked him.

A guilty look flashed over Darnand’s face, quickly replaced by indignation. “Levitation is illegal in Cyrodiil,” he stated.

Lildereth’s expression remained shrouded. “Check your gear,” she said quietly. “Then we’ll go.”

Jerric stood and rearranged his weapons. His new leathers were surprisingly comfortable, and quiet. He drew Atronach’s Redeemer and tested the space in the passageway. A thigh-deep channel ran through the middle of the floor, leaving plenty of space to walk on either side. But not enough to fight, Jerric decided. I need to pick up a shorter blade. He thought wistfully of Chillrend. Lildereth waited on the left side of the passage. Jerric secured his helmet and nodded to her.

Spells flickered in the dim light, and Jerric knew they were about to move. Belatedly he dug in his pocket for his brass ring. When he slipped it on, pinkish halos surrounded Darnand’s robed figure and Lildereth’s crouching form. Jerric blinked and shook his head, trying to get used to it. He always removed the ring before daedra got this close to him. There’s nothing alive in here, he thought irritably. I could just use a damned torch. Then he sighed inwardly. It’s practice, he reminded himself. He followed Darnand’s glowing shape into the darkness.

Stepping cautiously through the black, Jerric had plenty of time to wonder what insects or reptiles were making those surreptitious noises all around him. Their life signs were too faint for him to see until he passed right under or beside them. Spider webs and roots brushed continuously over his face and helmet until he learned to crouch under Darnand’s height. He was surprised that there was no dank smell or sound of dripping water. Just a slight odor that he remembered from somewhere. Finally he was able to identify it from memories of childhood. It was the smell that rose up from digging in damp sand.

Several times Darnand signaled that he should be cautious with his footing, and Jerric had to gingerly feel his way over thick roots or fallen stone blocks. I’ll use a potion if we need to get out of here in a hurry, he decided. That means I should make sure I still have one.

He found that Darnand and Lildereth had stopped. Jerric dropped to one knee next to them.

“We are approaching an open gateway,” Lildereth told them softly. Jerric noticed that somehow she could speak without the harsh sibilants usually caused by whispering. “When we reach the chamber beyond, I will go on alone to scout. One hallway slopes upward and ends at a closed door. We will make our plan when I return from there. If I wave you back, that means we need to regroup farther down the passageway we came through. Do not get turned around in there, Nord. There are three other sewer branches that meet in this area.” Jerric found his inability to see her expression unnerving.

“I shall remain here as well,” Darnand remarked to Jerric. “I shall inform you if a situation arises that requires you to take a sight potion.” Jerric remembered that the two of them could see his face.

“All right,” Jerric said. He felt ill at ease in the dark, but less than he would have thought. “How did I sound back there?” he asked Lildereth.

“Like a pack of blind snow bears.” Her tone relayed her disgust.

“I’m not wearing real armor,” Jerric objected. He thought he had sounded rather stealthy.

“Your shield is metal,” she told him. “So are your hilts and buckles. When one meets another, it makes a noise. When you slide your feet, you make the sound of a deer carcass being dragged over dry leaves. Here is my first set of recommendations. Make more potions to see in the dark. You must reserve one today for a possible rapid retreat. But when we proceed in the presence of a threat, you must be able to see. Place your forward foot down quietly before you shift your weight, both of you. No more sliding, big man, and be aware of your boot heels. Mage, your robe flaps like a loose sail in the wind. Close-fitting shirt and trousers next time. And breathe through your mouth, Nord. Only the gods know how you are able to move air through that nose, but everyone on this plane can hear it.”

Jerric nodded. He didn’t really have anything to add, other than his hope that she would call Darnand “little man.” Lildereth’s glow faded as she moved away from them. He listened for the quiet stone snick of an Ayleid door closing, but he heard nothing.

While they waited he turned his eyes toward where he thought the unexplored passageways would be, watching for approaching life signs. Then he realized that if she thought an enemy might come from there, Lildereth would have told them. He found that he couldn’t judge time in the dark. It felt like they had waited long enough for Lildereth to be captured, butchered, cooked, and eaten. He was not pleased with the turn his thoughts had taken. “I’m going after her,” he said to Darnand.

“I’ll go first,” Darnand whispered back. “I’ll use a chameleon spell. I’ll call you if we need you.”

That confirmed Jerric’s thought that it had been too long. He made a chopping gesture. “Forget it. It’s too dangerous. We have no idea what’s in there.” Jerric drank a potion of night-eye, and the stone passage blinked into blue light around him. Darnand still appeared as an annoying glow, hunched on his knees. Jerric kept his ring on anyway. He started up the sloping hallway after Lildereth, joints stiff from kneeling.

Darnand grabbed Jerric’s arm, but Jerric simply hauled him along as he walked. “Wait!” Darnand hissed. “You’re too loud, you’ll give her away!”

“We’ll just wait in the entrance, then.” Jerric stopped at the door. A bright glow indicated that something stood right on the other side. Before he could decide what to do, the door silently opened. Lildereth slipped through and closed it behind her. Once she moved to his side, he could see several life signs moving slowly on the other side of the door.

“Zombies,” Lildereth said on a breath. “They didn’t see me. Get away from the door. We might as well knock if you two are going to stand out here arguing.”

She continued speaking when they had reached junction. “There’s a single large chamber beyond, with closed doors in the far wall. Five zombies are wandering around inside. There is adequate light from those little glow stones set in wall panels. The floor is clear in the center, but stay away from the walls. This may be the outer perimeter of someone’s operation. I don’t expect anyone uses the sewer as a regular entrance, there must be some other way up to the surface. This is probably only a rear guard, or even a place someone keeps their pets out of the way. Regardless, I’d like to see you two take down those zombies.”

Her eyes looked oddly pale to Jerric in his potion’s light. He decided that Lildereth appeared calm and alert. Darnand seemed excited and a little nervous. Jerric tested his own emotional state. He felt slightly worried. He hoped the zombie smell wouldn’t make him vomit in front of Lildereth.

He noticed she was giving him a sharp look. “I know it was your idea to follow me, Nord,” she said crisply. “Don’t do it again.”

“Right,” Jerric said. He guessed she wouldn’t want to hear any explanations.

“I was attempting to go first,” Darnand told her. Jerric appreciated the loyalty at the same time he wanted to punch Darnand for continuing the subject.

“Only because you didn’t think you could stop him,” Lildereth said to Darnand. “It’s hard to believe you’ve never used a spell to paralyze him. He’s tempted me, and I’ve only known him a few days.”

Jerric was speechless. Apparently so was Darnand.

“Well, when you do it,” she continued in a conversational tone, “Make sure you let him breathe before you hit him with it a second time.”

Darnand muttered something that sounded like “Atronach.”

“One more thing,” Lildereth told them. “You noticed those bones that we passed, kicked down into the drain channel? Well there are more bodies in this chamber, pushed to the sides. You don’t just stroll into these places and pick gold up off the ground. Part of our pay is the gear left by the fools who came here before us. That big blade of yours looks expensive, Jerric. Let’s try not to leave it here on the floor for the next fetchers.”

That’s the first time she’s called me by my name, Jerric realized. He grinned at her. “I’m not worried. I know you won’t leave my sword lying here in the dark.”

Lildereth gave her quirky smile again. Then she headed back toward the door.

This post has been edited by Grits: Jun 16 2011, 12:18 AM

[D.Foxy]

First of all... your talent for characterization through dialogue just keeps growing and growing, Grits, just like my -



- er - er -

...err.... regard for your abilities! (Foxy promises an interlude full of pain to his inner pervert after finishing this post)

Just listen to these jewels:

She blinked and twisted her lips into her half-smile. “Well, it seems you don’t carry all of your brains in your trousers. The ruin above ground is some distance from here, you’re right. I can’t confirm that this sewer connects to the chambers underground there. But I believe it was part of the same city.”

and this:

“Like a pack of blind snow bears.” Her tone relayed her disgust.

and, of course, T.H.I.S...

“Only because you didn’t think you could stop him,” Lildereth said to Darnand. “It’s hard to believe you’ve never used a spell to paralyze him. He’s tempted me, and I’ve only known him a few days.”

Jerric was speechless. Apparently so was Darnand.

“Well, when you do it,” she continued in a conversational tone, “Make sure you let him breathe before you hit him with it a second time.”

Beware, beware, Lildereth....don't you know that one of the first signs of passion in a woman for a man is when she is tempted to bonk him one over the head because he won't do as she says? Ask Athynae!

Oh, and Lildee girl...you know all that talk you keep spouting about Jerric's meat and trousers? Ahem. Cough cough...Freudian Slips...the subconcious is usually way ahead of the concious and all, you know...cough cough...

Yes... all that dialogue makes us see Lildereth so well.

Jerric, too, comes across more and more 'Jerric' - big, clumsy, hungry, horny, honest, humble, happy-go-lucky and helluvivaciously handsome in a humonguously hunky, ham-handed, hirsuite, honey-sweet way - HOO boy! I bet there be puh-lentee of wimmins feeling a warm buzz in thar-all New Mexico regions after reading about yer hero!

And now, the finale:

Jerric realized. He grinned at her. “I’m not worried. I know you won’t leave my sword lying here in the dark.”

Yep, Jerric has realized all right. Time to take the sword out of the trousers - er er err scabbbard! I meant scabbard! (How the hell did you get out? Just you wait!!!) so that it can get out of the dark...

[haute ecole rider]

I have to admit that I'm liking Lildereth more and more. The way she handles Jerric is awesome! Just enough to keep him off balance, but not so much to reduce him to a blabbering pile of self-pitying tears. And of course, his Macho is acting up in response, and he resolves (likely subconsciously) to do better so he can raise her esteem of him. Excellent!

I seem to get the sense that Darnand is rather oblivious to all of this, though he does make an effort to demonstrate his loyalty to Jerric, albeit belatedly.

[mALX]

This note is copied and pasted on everyone whose story I am having to neglect for a few days - mainly because my eyes are burning too badly to keep looking at the screen :


"I'll be back!" (spoken in an Arnold voice). I haven't had time to read this week - way too much going on, my week has been hectic as H !! When I have gotten any free time my eyes and mind were burned out, lol. I'll be back to read this when I get a bit of a break in the rat-race pace around here. (sorry about that )

[Ceidwad]

“All right,” Jerric said. He felt ill at ease in the dark, but less than he would have thought. “How did I sound back there?” he asked Lildereth.

“Like a pack of blind snow bears.” Her tone relayed her disgust.

“I’m not wearing real armor,” Jerric objected. He thought he had sounded rather stealthy.

Pfft. What does a Bosmer know about being a Nord? Nice comparison of how two individuals can view the same event entirely differently.

Her eyes looked oddly pale to Jerric in his potion’s light. He decided that Lildereth appeared calm and alert. Darnand seemed excited and a little nervous. Jerric tested his own emotional state. He felt slightly worried.

I love how Jerric has to stop and think about how he feels! That is one slow-thinking Jerric!

[mALX]

Jerric leaned against the dining hall’s door frame, waiting for Darnand to finish speaking with Abiene. The two of them stood with their heads bent slightly together. Both of them had their arms crossed over their chests. Darnand wore the intent expression that usually indicated he was deeply involved in his work, and an excellent target for a prank. Abiene’s pink cheeks and sweet mouth filled Jerric’s mind with a rush of distracting images. He wrenched his attention back with an effort.

They make a handsome couple, he noticed. Both of them dark-haired and elegant. They even sound good together. Their voices rose and fell in the lilting cadence that he associated with Bretons. They mostly sound that way when they’re talking to each other, he realized.

Darnand turned and started toward him, and Abiene looked over at Jerric behind his back. Her dark eyes seemed to fill with promise.

This scene was a paradox! Candid glimpses into thoughts and actions, the parties involved unaware (Darnand mostly). Subtly simple scene - but huge in the complexity of the relationships between the three. HUGE scene you wrote here, AWESOME !!!!

“How did I sound back there?” he asked Lildereth.

“Like a pack of blind snow bears.” Her tone relayed her disgust.

ROFL !!!

Lildereth's instructions on sneaking to the two of them had me in stitches!

"Get away from the door. We might as well knock if you two are going to stand out here arguing.”

ROFL !! Lildereth is a perfect addition to this story, and is bringing out the best examples of why I love the way Jerric and Darnand play off each other when they are together. When Abiene is the third party the boyish comaraderie between them is stifled by the intrigue of secrets and desires.

It is amazing how complex you have made your characters, and how real their personalities are! This chapter really showcases your talent and ability, Awesome !!! This may be my all time favorite chapter to date, and it has had some very tough competition for that position!!

[Acadian]

'Lildereth turned inland before he even wanted a snack.'
No one else but Jerric could measure time in terms of food. It is testimony to how vividly you bring him to us that such a comment seems as natural as eating a sweet roll.

'Lildereth’s expression informed him how he sounded.'
Once again, I'm so impressed by how beautifully you weave your connective passages into your dialogue.

Lildereth thinks so very much like, well, a Bosmer! Working in the shadows is so second nature to her. How wonderfully you bring each of your characters to life. Each in their own way in this episode, but it was a joy to see Abiene, Darnand, Lildereth and of course our lovable Nordic hero (the blind snow bear/big man himself).

Nit? 'The dressed stone surround appeared to be intact, but the ground had fallen or washed away under it. '
Something seems to be missing here? Perhaps '…surrounding the entrance appeared to be…' ?

[SubRosa]

Meat’s not ready yet!
Well given Lildreth's earlier comment, I think Jerric can provide that...

Nice display of professionalism on the parts of Lildreth and Darnand. Jerric seems to still have a bit to be desired there. But at least he knows it. What a stark, and welcome, contrast to the game, where the only strategy you need is walk here, kill that, repeat.

Lildreth is about as friendly as a badger having a bad day. I wonder if she is always so abrasive, of if it is just the thought of her getting killed because Jerric and Darnand are not stealthy enough? I suppose only time will tell.

[Grits]

D.Foxy: Jerric’s sword might argue that it prefers to stay snugly encased in the dark. Scabbard, that is. But we all know how it likes to come out and play. I think Lildereth must have an inner redhead. Thank you for your comments on the dialog! Sometimes it seems I’m just writing down what they say. Now we’ve reached a point where they’re going to have to shut up and fight. Lildereth is pretty much the opposite of Jerric, I think the contrast is what makes him more “Jerric” in this segment. Your description of him made me smile!

haute ecole rider: You have described what Lildereth is doing perfectly, I love it! You’re right, Darnand is oblivious to Lildereth’s management of Jerric. He’s still thinking about how he’ll adjust to combat without getting killed or accidentally killing his teammates. He’s a long way from the summoning chamber now.

mALX: Thank you so much for pointing out that little opening scene. It was just people looking at each other, and I was worried that the point wouldn’t come across. You’re right, Lildereth and Darnand let Jerric stay in the moment, but he has to govern himself when Abiene is around. And we know that doesn’t come easily to him. Thank you for your kind words, mALX!

Ceidwad: Sitting around and chatting while the enemy is within charging distance is a new one for Jerric. He usually wouldn’t think until he was through the door, and then it would be a different kind of thinking. Given time to plan, he’s having a little trouble separating out the relevant information. I’m glad you noticed that!

Acadian: You’re right about the “surround,” I described the entrance as if it was a fireplace. Oops! Thank you, I changed it. Your kind words about our friends in Anvil warmed my heart. And to hear that Lildereth thinks like a Bosmer from one who carries an elf on his shoulder, well that was just wonderful!

SubRosa: I didn’t think of that, I’m sure Jerric is always ready to provide the meat. Lildereth as a grumpy badger made me chuckle. She certainly does not serve her remarks with a sugar coating. No one would mistake her for a diplomat! You are spot on with her concern that the other two might get her killed, especially the Nord. I’m happy to hear that the departure from the game is welcome. Hero or not, there are so many things that he would just not be able to reasonably do on his own!


Where we are: Jerric, Darnand, and Lildereth are creeping up on some zombies in an Ayleid ruin. Some more quietly than others.



Chapter 11 Holidays: Part 4

Jerric moved smoothly into the room, with Darnand behind him. Jerric broke to the right the way they had planned. The stench hit him, and he gagged a little. His mouth filled with cold spit. You can throw up later, he told himself. The zombies were spread throughout the chamber, and there was plenty of open space to move. Jerric glanced over to make sure Darnand was in position. They both kept to the wall, with the zombies in the middle. The zombies hadn’t noticed them. Darnand gave Jerric a quick nod.

Jerric summoned Precious at the same time a flame atronach whooshed into the space in front of Darnand. Precious flung its grotesque head back and chortled its delight. With a wave of his arm, Jerric sent the scamp at one of the middle zombies. Flares filled the chamber with their distinctive sound and orange light, telling Jerric that Darnand had begun. Jerric picked out the two zombies remaining on his side of the chamber. He bathed each of them with his fire spell as he closed with the first one. Redeemer sang in his hand, sending a jolt of pure joy through him. Take them down quickly, he told himself. This is not a game.

The first zombie reached him, its fur still smoldering from Jerric’s flare. It raised its arms with a shuddering groan. Its lower jaw was missing, leaving a gaping hollow under the Khajiit snout. Jerric stepped neatly to the side as it attacked, running his blade across the zombie’s abdomen through to the backbone. Nothing came sliding out.

His second zombie had its arms raised to attack him, about three running steps away. Take them down first, Jerric thought. Let them wear themselves out until we finish them on the ground. He moved around to his right as the first zombie turned. The center of the room was a blaze of flame and smoke. He saw Darnand cast a ball of fire. When the second zombie reached him, Jerric dodged the downward strike and circled quickly around. His back to the room, he made his slashes at the zombie’s knees. The creature didn’t fall.

Jerric danced back toward the wall again, readying his fire spell. He glanced over the room as he sent another pair of flares at the zombies. Precious and the flame atronach were still at work, and he could see Darnand. He renewed his grip on the Wolf shield and readied for another strike with his sword.

This time he lunged back when the zombie attacked, then brought Redeemer down across both of its arms. Pieces of zombie fell to the floor. He stepped back and recovered his balance. The smoldering Khajiit was behind this zombie, pushing against its back. Jerric twisted his hips and slashed at the leading zombie’s knees. He scrambled back as it toppled toward him.

To his surprise, the Khajiit zombie stepped over its fallen companion without tripping. Jerric heard his scamp’s death squawk and quickly called it back from the Void. He kept his eyes on the Khajiit zombie as he backed away from it. A wave of his sword returned Precious to the fight.

Jerric timed his strike the same way against this zombie, waiting for the pause as it recovered its balance to slash its legs out from under it. With his two opponents thrashing and groaning on the floor, Jerric took a moment to check on the rest of the battle.

He saw Darnand throw fire at a flaming zombie, then run a few steps to avoid its attack. Two dark shapes lay motionless in the middle of the room. Precious and the flame atronach were engaged in a leaping, fiery struggle against each other.

Darnand is doing well, he decided. This is a good chance to try out my new spell. Too bad I’ll have to touch the damned thing.

Both of Jerric’s zombies were upright again, only now they were slowly sliding forward on their knee stumps. Jerric put down his sword and readied the spell.

After the first instant of disgust, Jerric felt a surge of pure elation as the energy that animated the undead thing rushed into him. He cast the spell again before the zombie slumped to the floor. As he stepped back to compose himself, he caught Darnand’s eye. The room had gone quiet and empty of summonings. “That is a good spell,” Jerric breathed.

Darnand walked over. “You made peace with Gulitte,” he stated. His voice sounded calm, but very tight.

“Yeah.”

“That is more than I have been able to do.”

“Darnand,” Jerric said fervently, “You’ve got to try it.”

The remaining zombie let out a gurgling groan. Jerric felt for his magicka. Too low. He picked up his sword and slashed the zombie’s chest until it fell.

The room was silent again. Jerric slipped his ring back on for a moment, but nothing was approaching. Lildereth and Darnand were already in front of him.

“Did you use a spell to turn one of them?” Lildereth asked Darnand. Jerric’s guts gave a powerful heave. He swallowed it down. The greasy smoke in the room was slowly rising to the high ceiling, but the smell was still thick. His hand remembered touching rotten skin.

“I did,” Darnand replied calmly. “It would be useful to—”

Jerric bent over and hurled the contents of his stomach onto the stone floor. The sound of splashing covered the rest of Darnand’s statement. “I beg your pardon,” Jerric coughed, with as much dignity as he could muster. He turned his head and spit a few times to clear his mouth.

“It would be useful to have them turn on one another instead of fleeing,” Darnand continued without comment. They all stepped a few paces away from the puddle. To Jerric’s relief, Lildereth neither gagged nor laughed at him. She held out her canteen, still looking at Darnand. Wait, Jerric thought. That’s my canteen. He took it from her and rinsed his mouth. “I will give the matter some thought,” Darnand finished.

Lildereth’s eyes went to Jerric. “The way you move when you fight. Why don’t you always move that way?”

“Well, that would be, uh, tiring.”

“I mean when we’re trying not to be heard or seen.” She stepped over and put her hands on him. “Keep your muscles tight here, and loose here. Firm but not rigid. Balance like you’re about to strike when you step. You’ll be lighter on your feet.”

That made a lot of sense to Jerric. “Yeah, I can do that. I won’t be very fast, though.”

“You don’t need to be fast unless you’re noisy. Then we’ll all have to be fast.”

“Right,” Jerric said. He grinned at her and slapped himself on the stomach. “Maybe you could show me where I should stay tight one more time.”

Lildereth looked over at Darnand and rolled her eyes. Darnand smiled at his feet. Jerric laughed. “I’m glad you don’t take offense easily,” he remarked.

“I’m glad you don’t either,” she said lightly. Her attention went to Darnand. “You trapped their souls.”

“Two of them,” Darnand replied. “At this point we need the magicka more than we need coin.” He reached into his belt pouch and handed a gem to Jerric. “I should save it for Fort Strand, if at all possible. I doubt any of the gang will have the courtesy to attack you with spells.”

Jerric nodded his thanks. “How could there be any energy left to trap?” he asked. It had seemed clear when they discussed it before, but now he was confused again.

“I expect it is released from the enchantment itself when it is broken,” Darnand said to him. “You will recall that the will of the necromancer—”

“Let’s save the lecture,” said Lildereth. “Keep the noise down, and watch our exit.” She moved through one of the doors without a sound.

Once he had wiped down his gear, Jerric poked through the remains along the chamber’s walls. He made a small pile of salvageable items near the door. The bodies had been stripped of their armor and left to rot, but the equipment had been discarded nearby. Maybe whoever made the zombies is going to use them for new skeletons, Jerric thought. He couldn’t think of any way to identify who they had been, or even accurately guess how long they had lain here. Their gathered bits of metal looked pitiful to him. They must have come in here looking for trouble just like we did, he thought.

He picked up a short sword and examined the blade. Good balance, he thought. Feels like Captain Renault’s sword. Then he mentally kicked himself. I already have a shorter sword, he realized. Stashed it in the bottom of my pack when I got Chillrend. A lot of help right now.

“We should harvest some mort flesh from these zombies,” Darnand said. “Though these are still quite wet, it should still be worth the weight we will have to carry.”

“I guess there’s some meat left that isn’t burned.” Jerric’s stomach heaved again. He tried to smother the resulting belch. “I’d be grateful if you did the harvesting. I’ll carry it, if it doesn’t drip too much.”

Industrious and revolting sounds began to drift from Darnand’s direction. “All things considered, I prefer to harvest energy from zombies,” Darnand remarked.

“That passage is blocked,” Lildereth said softly from across the chamber. Jerric jumped a little. “I’m going down the other one.”

Several moments later, she returned. “Through a long passage, up nine steps, a left turn, a shorter passage, a small chamber, and another passage. Well lit past the steps. There’s a larger space beyond all that. Three necromancers, by their robes. One is an Altmer, the other two Imperial or Breton. I couldn’t get a shot without alerting the survivors. It appears to be a living space, with desks and table. Bedrolls on the floor, so watch your feet. There are no side passages, and only one other way out of the larger chamber. All of the doorways are open. We could always retreat the way we came in. What do you think?”

Jerric gave Darnand a nod. “Let us continue,” Darnand said. “Expect summonings. I will attempt to dispel them, but I am unsure how effective I will be.”

“If they summon scamps, I’m sure your flame atronach will be happy to attack them,” Lildereth said with some amusement.

Darnand glanced sheepishly at Jerric. “She must have thought Precious hit her,” he explained.

Lildereth looked at Jerric. “Save your sight potion, the fellow in the first chamber won’t hear you in the long passageway.”

The fellow’s death stench greeted them while they were still in the corridor. They discovered that he had been a Dunmer male. He wore a black robe with a rust colored skull insignia on the chest. He lay on the floor beside a chair and work table. An arrow protruded from his throat. Jerric guessed that Lildereth had used poison, and didn’t want to risk retrieving it. He saw Darnand’s eyes go to the notes on the Dunmer’s table. “On the way back,” he said softly to Darnand.

“What if we do not return this way?” Darnand asked, an edge to his voice.

Lildereth silenced them with a look. Her voice was hardly more than a breath. “I’ll stay by the door and look for a shot. If we retreat, don’t wait for me. You won’t be able to see me.”

Jerric moved swiftly through the final corridor. Cold bluish light came down from stones set in fixtures on the walls. His ring showed him the glows of three living things in the chamber ahead. Not for long, he thought grimly. He slipped the ring back into his pocket. His fingers twitched, waiting for him to fill them with frost.