Jerric's Story, A Nord's Adventures in Cyrodiil Options

[mALX]

I was excited to get a "Lildereth" insight in this chapter. After reading I know why it was done that way. How this scene is affecting Jerric and striking afresh his own painful memories of Kvatch is clearly seen through Lildereth's eyes and thoughts. She knows exactly what Jerric is going through without a word from him.

Knowing Jerric, Valdi won't be left behind when they leave this dungeon.

This episode hit powerfully on the undercurrent of every player's emotions from beginning to end. The scene with Valdi could be so easily visualized that it felt like being there and seeing it play out. Absolutely totally AWESOME Write !!!!! Huge Write!!!!

[Acadian]

I simply love how naturally you remind us of Lildereth’s small size throughout this episode and how it affects so much of what she does:
’Lildereth cast the spell to fortify her speed and ease her fatigue as soon as she dropped behind. If he noticed, he chose not to tease her.’
‘They halted ten elf-paces away.’
’Lildereth walked to the door, slipping Jerric’s life detection ring onto her thumb.’
‘Lildereth readied a spell and suppressed a shiver. Spiders were unpredictable, and she was a manageable size.’

Great depiction of Valdi. In fact, as SubRosa said, nice to see this little band of smugglers depicted as a family that, no doubt, loved their own. Poignant touch at the end to show that Valdi losing family struck close to Jerric’s heart as his mind doubtless traveled to Kvatch.

[King Coin]

What a treat, seeing things from a slightly smaller perspective.

Lildereth cast the spell to fortify her speed and ease her fatigue as soon as she dropped behind. If he noticed, he chose not to tease her.
Knowing Jerric, his mind is elsewhere. If he did notice however, I don’t think even he would feel this is the right time for a joke. It was very thoughtful of them to circle around to approach from the road. I like Lildereth’s caution and having spells ready.

I always thought of Jerric as the ‘people person’ of the group, though Lildereth’s better in situations like this.

Spiders were unpredictable, and she was a manageable size.
Whoa. I hate spiders. And these are big enough to take an elf? Aravi isn’t much bigger than a Bosmer either.

Grim. I thought the girl’s comment about a bounty meant that the little band that she traveled with was going in after one. Now we learn that they were the residents and her mother had a bounty. The girl knows what happened to her family. She can't accept it and doesn't know what to do.

This post has been edited by King Coin: Sep 27 2012, 04:40 AM

[ghastley]

I'm glad you actually have spiders in your version of the world. It's always struck me as silly that the ruins and dungeons and basements are full of cobwebs, but there aren't any spiders to make them.

The "did they come in and leave again, or are they still here?" question remains. Wards on the main doors means little in an Ayleid ruin with secret doors and sliding walls hidden all around.

I'm assuming Valdi ran out of there when it all happened, and returned to find no-one alive, but I'm unclear if she went in to check or doesn't want to know the worst, and is waiting hopefully outside. Or if I should read anything into her feeling safer out there.

[hazmick]

Great chapter, showing the less glamorous side of adventuring really brings your characters to life. Lildereth's ability to seemingly read people like books is a great way to tell the story! Keep up the good work

[Grits]

Last part: Hrotanda Vale. Jerric and Lildereth met Valdi, the young survivor of a raid on her family’s smuggling operation. They found only bodies in the lived-in sections of the ruin. Now they are ready to open one of the warded doors.

haute ecole rider: You’re right, the only thing Hrotanda Vale lacks is a back door. The game makes it easy to tell good guys from bad guys, because the bad guys attack you. It was satisfying to show that it’s more complicated than that. Thank you, haute!

SubRosa: I love that you mentioned it could have been the law, other outlaws, or someone in between who did the killing. That was just the ambiguity I was going for. Being a criminal doesn’t keep a person from loving their kids, and the killer who put a blade through Fylkr’s belly could be getting a big smile from Countess Valga or Captain Bittneld right now. Thank you, SubRosa!

mALX: You nailed exactly why Lildereth got to be the voice in that section. I didn’t want to drag everyone through Jerric’s emotions again, and she knows what’s on his mind just by looking at him. You’re so right, Jerric has a habit of collecting strays and I’m sure Valdi will not be an exception. Thank you, mALX!

Acadian: It’s funny when I write Lildereth sections (I think this is the first one to make it all the way to posting ) because her size is such a part of her awareness while Jerric’s is rarely a part of his. I'm glad you enjoyed that. “Seeing” the Nord from her POV is always a shock at first! Thank you for mentioning his moment of coping at the end. That is exactly where his mind went.

King Coin: You’re right, Jerric relates more easily to people, but he tends to forget his appearance. For all of his good intentions, to Valdi he looks like some big scary guy who might grab her. You got Valdi’s situation completely. Thank you, KC!

ghastley: Ah, I see what I missed. I meant to show that Valdi was reluctant to go back in because she didn’t want to see her family dead and lose the hope that someone was going to rescue her. Not a rational plan, but a piece of cold, hungry, shocked, and grieving kid thinking. I went back and added a phrase to read, “Afraid to go back inside and face what she’s lost.” The ward explanation comes in this section. They’re another Grits embellishment, like the ones in Kvatch to keep ghosts from wandering into houses. Sorry about the confusion, and thank you very much for bringing that up!

hazmick: Thank you, hazmick! Lildereth seems like she has superpowers to Jerric, so it was fun to show the little things she does that give her an edge.

Regarding this part: A note about differences from the game: Some of Lildereth’s mind control type Illusion spells do not work on daedra or some undead. Invisibility works by interfering with their perception, or so Darnand has speculated. Detect Life can see into other cells, since there are no cells in the story. I think the characters will cover the rest, but if I overlooked something please let me know!! Also this part got long, so I split it into smaller parts. There will be a fight soon, I promise!




Chapter 15: Chorrol, Part Seventeen


Jerric followed Lildereth down the short, narrow corridor, stepping over piles of the smugglers’ refuse. The door at the end glowed with light: blue from the magical stones set into in the surface, and white from the ward laid over it. The Ayleid design depicted a tree. The ward’s characters and symbols were unfamiliar to Jerric.

“It’s a tight space here if something explodes,” Lildereth observed. “Can you read it? Wait! Don’t touch.”

“Well, I can’t read anything from just looking at it. I mean I can’t read the enchantment.”

“It could be trapped. You know, warded against something physical and not just undead or some other kind of energy.”

“The wards in Kvatch aren’t trapped,” Jerric said. “People go through those doors all day. And what’s to keep ghosts from passing through the walls anyway?”

“For some of them, nothing. Only habit. You remember, you told me that many of your Kvatch folk didn’t even know that they were dead. Why would they try to walk through a wall? Anyway, we don’t have to worry about the ones who are that ethereal. Nor shades, if we see any. They can’t hurt you. Any ghost that has manifested enough to grab you with its cold hand is solid enough to need a door, and those that are bound to this plane are confined by the binding.”

That made some sense to Jerric. He had seen ghosts reach for a handle, then fail to notice that their hand went right through it. “Then why won’t regular weapons harm them?” he asked.

Lildereth blinked. “That’s a good question.”

Jerric jumped on the opportunity. “You brought silver-tipped arrows. Isn’t your bow enchanted?”

“Yes.”

Jerric waited as long as he could stand it. “Come on, sprig. Out with it.”

“Have you ever heard me shoot?”

He thought for a moment. “No.”

“Now you know why. But the enchantment does not put a charm on my arrows.” Lildereth’s eyebrows approached their dangerous angle.

Jerric decided to get back to the matter at hand. “So it will be bound spirits or bone constructs on the other side. Zombies and the like.”

“I should think skeletons after all of this time,” said Lildereth. “Darnand says that zombies require maintenance.” She gave him a look. “And we might possibly find wraiths or a lich. They can throw a curse on you from a fair distance. Some of them are solid enough to swing a weapon, and who knows what magicks those old sorcerers can still use.”

Jerric grinned at her. “Better stay behind me, then.”

Lildereth looked up at him, the edge of her lip caught between her teeth.

“What?”

“I’d like to scout first,” she said. “I want to use the gems on the strongest thing we find back there, and I won’t know which ones were the best until it’s over. I mean, what if we soul trap a clannfear and then come across a daedroth? We can’t afford to waste a gem.”

Jerric got that uneasy feeling. “Daedroth?”

Now she was chewing the other side of her lip. “I’m just guessing that these wards are meant to contain undead. There could be bound daedra guarding something instead. I can’t be sure what we’ll find, Jerric. I don’t know much about warding, and most of my illusion spells won’t work on undead or daedra. This is just the kind of situation I avoid. If I could use my spells, then I wouldn’t need Master training. Damn Martina and her damned Welkynd stones!”

“All right then,” said Jerric. He decided not to mention that this was exactly the kind of situation that called for a damned sandwich, and Valdi was probably still eating his. “Anyway I know how to keep using a gem until it’s filled. But you should scout ahead just the same. Take your time. I mean it, elf. Wake me up when you’re ready for me to kill something.” He gave her a smile to show that he was teasing. “Do you want me to use the scroll of dispelling, or you?”

“I’ll do it.” Lildereth dug in her pack. “You might absorb it, and then I’d have to…” She stood with a scroll in her hand looking uncertain. “One of these isn’t as strong as the others. Darnand ran out of time. I don’t want to waste any. If I start with the weaker one…”

Jerric spoke up before her lip started to bleed. “Use a strong one first. That way if it works you’ll have one left over, and if it doesn’t you know the weaker one wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

“What if none of them works?”

“Then I’ll just,” he made a gesture, “break the door down. I know, traps. I’ll cover my eyes or something. Look, we’ll handle whatever you find, or we’ll leave if you’d rather.” Jerric took her shoulder in his hand and squeezed it gently. “If you think something’s detected you, run like an Argonian crossing the beach at midday. I’ll be right here, or wherever you put me.”

Lildereth gave him a crooked smile. “I don’t see anything moving on the other side, but you should be ready just in case.”

Jerric felt the shield magic settle over his exposed skin as he buckled on the Blades helm. The enchantment made his leather stronger than steel, and he could call on his Woad for even more protection. Fire and fangs danced across his mind, and a great claw slashed down to split him open like a sack of grain.

He shook himself. That was not going to happen today.

Lildereth unfurled the scroll and held it out where he could see it. The runes and inscriptions glowed faintly. Darnand’s meticulous attention was there in every brush and quill stroke. Scrolls could be used by anyone, and there were different ways to activate them. He was curious how Lildereth would do it.

She breathed a word, and the scroll shimmered away into a ball of pinkish light as it became the spell. Lildereth held it between her palms for a moment. Then she cast it gently at the door.

The spell broke against the surface like water on a rock. The ward’s runes melted, white mingling with pink as their light trickled down and misted away.

Lildereth turned to him with a wink. Then the door opened, and she was gone.

[King Coin]

Lol, I liked that Lildereth had to yell at Jerric to not touch. Look but no touch. Seems to be her rule most of the time anyways. Her bow sounds awesome! Muffled.

I was surprised to learn in Oblivion that illusion spells actually worked on the undead. I figured a mind was required for them to take hold. Your modifications for the story make perfect sense.

Jerric’s teasing to ease the tension. Lildereth seems much more skittish than the controlled confidence she had when they first met her. I can’t tell if this is new or if this is just the way she is inside of dungeons.

[Acadian]

Between your descriptions and those provided by Jerric and Lildereth, I was right there with you on how magic works in his world. Some very nice touches like how Jerric could keep stuffing soul juice into a gem till it’s full and how differing people might use scrolls differently.

“If you think something’s detected you, run like an Argonian crossing the beach at midday. I’ll be right here, or wherever you put me.”
That got a smile from Lildereth I see. Me too.

Loved your rich description of how that scroll dispelled the warding at the end.

[mALX]

The discussion on ghosts floored me - not knowing they were dead, reaching for handles and not realizing their hands went through the door - AWESOME !!!! This was spectacular !!!!

Jerric's flashback to the Oblivion realm was chilling, but he caught himself well and didn't let it take him over.

I was shocked Jerric only thought of food once this whole chapter, but Lildereth does seem to bring out the rock in Jerric a lot more than anyone else does. He kind of lets himself be babied by most women, but with Lildereth he is completely different - really love seeing the two of them without any other personality influences around - and listening in on their conversations!

I loved the description of how the scroll dissipated the seal on the door! I could visualize it happening! Also love your world building throughout your story - this chapter is a great example.

Awesome Write !!! Loved this chapter !!!

[ghastley]

So Jerric can fill a soul gem with multiple souls? I know there's a mod for that, and it does make sense.

The contrast between little Lildereth, who needs to know everything about the situation before she's confident she can handle it, and Jerric, who's big enough to take on most of what he encounters (unless it's sneaky with the spells) comes over very well in this one.

And the part where she uses the scroll was just perfect. That's casting the quiet, inconspicuous way.

[SubRosa]

A wonderful observation from Lil about why some ghosts do not walk through walls. It was also brilliantly connected into Jerric's own experience with the ghosts of Kvatch. Likewise what she said about a ghost that is solid enough to claw at you, must be solid enough to be impeded by matter.

So Lil's bow is enchanted to be silent. That is a neat idea. Teresa's makes a huge racket, as bows go, since composite bows are louder than self-bows.

run like an Argonian crossing the beach at midday
I loved this phrase.

I liked your description of using a scroll, the way the parchment itself turned into the spell.

[hazmick]

I love the preparation that your characters put into their dungeon experience, it really adds some realism to it. I can't wait to see what we'll find deeper in the ruins!

[Grits]

Last part: We left Jerric and Lildereth inside Hrotanda Vale seeking Welkynd stones and filling soul gems. After a case of nerves Lildereth dispelled the ward on one of the sealed doors and entered the unexplored part of the ruin.

King Coin: You’re right, Jerric has not seen Lildereth this way before. She has always had the plan together in the past, and now she is making it up as they go. Plus even her silver arrows won’t do much against ghosts, since she relies on poison rather than enchantments for damage. I’m glad you picked up on that! Thank you, KC!

Acadian: Thank you, Acadian! I had much more to think about in the last section than I realized. The destruction runes in Skyrim gave me the idea for how wards might look, but those runes are just simple exploding traps. Which of course Jerric would discover by stepping on one, or possibly by touching it to see if he could read the enchantment. D’oh! It would be neat if we could dispel those runes in Skyrim rather than blowing them up. That’s what got me thinking about how it might look.

mALX: You are so right about Jerric eating up all of the coddling he can get. Give him an inch, and he’ll take it all. Lildereth is the rare woman who doesn’t put up with his nonsense but didn’t walk away in disgust the first time she met him. She isn’t one of his many moms or hump-buddies, and he is finally realizing that there is a third option with women. Also it helps that thanks to Abiene he is not trying to get into her pants. I’m so glad you brought this up! Thank you, mALX!

ghastley: Yep, mods often provide sensible ways to deal with things like soul gems and recharging, so they can be great inspiration. This situation really brought out the differences between Big and Little, so I’m glad they came through. Of course Darnand would still be sitting there copying all of the ward’s symbols so he could study them later. Thank you, ghastley!

SubRosa: I thought about Lil’s bow for a long time. The muffle enchantment duplicates a spell she can already cast, so I would have chosen elemental damage or weakness to poison for her. But she works up close in secret (after sometimes waiting far longer than her spell would last), so the silent shot is the most important thing for her. The very thought of Teresa’s awesome combat archery sends her running for the trees! Thank you, SubRosa!

hazmick: Thank you, hazmick! Here we go deeper into the ruins.

Regarding this part: We're back with Lildereth for this one. Also, the game's undead's spells are determined by what type of undead they are. In the story they get the curses and frost attacks they would have from being undead plus the spells they knew when they were living. Also I have taken the Silence spell away from Illusion. I think it should be a Mysticism spell, like Dispel.




Chapter 15: Chorrol, Part Eighteen (In Hrotanda Vale)


Lildereth stood in the ruined passageway watching dust swirl around her feet. A fine powder lay over the tumbled blocks and floor, enough to hold the marks of her passing. The air tasted cleaner here behind the long-sealed door. That relieved one concern, at least for now. She believed that the Ehlnofey still breathed in the deep places, and magicka ran through the earth like blood through a body. The Ayleids must have known how to twist the ancestors to their purpose just as they used the living.

The dust settled quickly. It should not present a difficulty, even when kicked up by the boots of a Nord.

She cast her spell to extend the range of Jerric’s life detection ring. No energy signs came into view, so she drifted down a set of stairs and into a narrow, high gallery.

The brackets were empty here, too, but a pale light shone in the next chamber, turned blue along with everything else by her nighteye spell. Two pinkish glows took shape as she moved closer. She swallowed a mouthful of Jerric’s Juice in preparation for her next casting.

The powerful surge of magicka made her breath catch. He could make the most exquisite poisons, if only… The solution presented itself with quiet clarity. First he should make a strong potion against poisons. Then he wouldn’t kill himself with carelessness while he brewed them. She spent a moment settling her mind again. Companionship brought distractions that she could not allow.

The two life forms moved slowly on the other side of distant walls. Ghosts, she decided, and moving in her direction. They did not seem to detect her presence as she cleared the gallery and entered the adjoining chamber.

Loose crystals glowed in huge fixtures hanging from the high ceiling. This space housed an arrangement of cylindrical baskets suspended in a ring over fretted vents in the floor. Lildereth cringed away from the blackened metal as she passed. These are only relics of sick amusements long past, she told herself. The real ghosts were in the next chamber.

Here she found evidence of more recent habitation. Stone blocks had been arranged in what looked like a work space. Free-standing braziers in a Colovian style stood empty, and wooden planks lay in rot and disarray. Some violence had occurred here, but there were no mortal remains.

Lildereth cast her invisibility spell. An unnatural chill touched her face as two hooded figures drifted into the chamber. They seemed to be made of a thick fog that gave off an eldritch light. Altmer, she thought, if that matters any more. Their hollow-chested posture told of a life spent mostly inside the mind.

The ghosts paced over to what might have been a table, moving as mortals though their robes faded into nothing just above the floor. Lildereth stayed motionless until they became involved with their unseen work. I will assume that they are bound here, she decided. Conscious of their present, but for now lost in some memory. She moved on, avoiding their notice.

One chamber led directly into the next with no intervening passageways. Lildereth avoided three more ethereal forms. Jerric could not possibly get lost here. These spaces were free of traps, and the clutter generated by living beings had rotted away into insignificance. He could choose how he wanted to fight, and she could easily avoid him.

Another long gallery held the treasure she sought. Four Welkynd stones stood upright in brackets at the tops of carved columns.

One life sign glowed ahead past a low archway at the end of the chamber. Its intensity made her take extra care.

Lildereth stood beside the doorway concentrating until the life glow dissipated, so that she might observe every detail. A musty smell reached her, strong but not overpowering. This chamber had once been a living space. The furnishings stood largely intact. Books were arranged in tall cases, no doubt still tended by this lurching creature.

The figure in the room turned its hollow gaze toward her, then past and away. The eye sockets held what looked like chips of light. The shreds of a rotted garment hung from its frame. Flesh had shrunk tight to the bones. She could hear a dry sound as fingertips scraped over leathery cheek.

A lich. She would be powerless against it. Her scouting trip was over.

Sweat tickled between her breasts as she noted a mages staff leaning against the bedstead. A door stood closed in an alcove against the left wall. Probably the other warded one. The thing might have been trapped in its dwelling, or perhaps it nested here where it could listen to its captors through the ward. Lildereth retreated on silent feet, letting her breath trickle out in a soft cloud. She hoped the ghosts wouldn’t notice her wood elfin footprints.

Jerric stood right where she had left him, a fortress of warmth and weaponry. When she scraped a heel against the floor, his body snapped to readiness. An instant later she saw that smile.

“Five ghosts,” she told him. “Two look like mages, and three were wearing armor. The ghosts of their armor, not the real thing.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” He waited.

“Four Welkynd stones. And a staff.” Lildereth took a sip of water, then spent a moment replacing Jerric’s canteen and potion flask. Her buckles were made of horn and bone, each one wrapped with woolen thread against noise. Jerric’s were metal, and his leather was reinforced for protection rather than softened for noise reduction. He clicked and creaked no matter how lightly he walked.

She stood for a moment with her hands at his belt, considering. A Muffle spell would also keep him from talking, unless he stripped down and let her cast it on his armor. But he would certainly use fire spells, and that would make a lot of noise. One fight would swiftly lead to another, whether his buckles jingled or not.

“I thought it was after the fight that you’d try to get down my trousers,” said Jerric. He grinned like they were seated in a tavern.

Lildereth took a step back so she could look up at him. “And a lich.”

“All right, then.”

“It’s all the way at the far end.” She explained the layout and conditions.

Jerric listened until she was finished. “I’ll get close enough to slash with my dagger, that should set the soul trap. Then I’ll step back and cast some fire. I guess the ghosts will come at me together, so I’ll hang onto the blade to use on the next one. I’ve never tried Searing Grasp with something in my hand. I’ll use that Tongue of Fire that Vigge showed me.” He gestured with his shield arm. “I expect that’ll make them mad, and then they’ll give me back some magicka. They’ll slop down into puddles when they’re done, and we’ll move on.”

Lildereth chewed her lip. “What about the lich?”

Jerric grinned again. “Well, I’ll go in there and kill it.”

Lildereth dispelled her nighteye. There was enough light for their purpose, and elemental spells would generate even more. She had time to wish for soul trap scrolls while they made their final preparations. Darnand’s company would be even better. She felt inadequate as backup and unnecessary as loot collector. Then she put foolishness away and simply followed the Nord.

Jerric strode through the chambers as if he owned them. The two robed ghosts looked up at his approach. One spoke in Aldmeris, its voice a hollow echo in her head. The other raised an arm and moved as if to walk around the table that was no longer there. Jerric stepped through the stone blocks, whipping his dagger through the specter’s midsection. Something shuddered almost beneath her senses.

Lightning cracked from the second mage for an instant as Jerric turned his hips, a shield bash flowing into the slash with his dagger hand. The first ghost reached out with both hands, gripping Jerric’s right arm. Lildereth nocked an arrow as he stepped back, wrenching away. The downed figure floated up, spreading its arms out and drawing one back as if to cast. Jerric simply pushed his shield arm forward. Both ghosts were engulfed in a wide ribbon of flame.

Lildereth took a breath.

The Nord looked uninjured, but sounded shaken. “That energy trap is going to take some getting used to.”

A challenge sounded from further in at the same time it whispered through her mind. Lildereth shook off the dreadful feeling. A ghost could steal one’s resolve as readily as it sucked the heat from one’s body. It was her partner’s fire that presented the real danger.

Jerric jogged through the next chamber to take a position at the narrow doorway. Lildereth watched the impact flashes from his shield enchantments over the tip of an arrow. Fire roared and something clattered to the floor, followed by the hollow boom of a frost spell. Jerric danced in place with his unseen partners. She realized that at least one of the ghosts was solid enough to pick up a real weapon.

Quiet fell, and for a moment the Nord stood still looking into the ruin. “It’s coming,” he said.

Lildereth swore to herself. They had hoped to bottle the lich up in its lair. Now it would have room to summon something.

Ice crystals glittered and ectoplasm glowed on Jerric’s arms as he took a swig of Jerric’s Juice. Then he bowed his head, utterly still.

He’s conjuring something, thought Lildereth. She heard the distinctive sound of a daedric summoning in the chamber beyond. Ice crackled and bluish light glimmered from something outside her view. Then she heard another daedric summoning.

“Back,” Jerric said, acting on his own command. “It has a flame atronach.”

Lildereth retreated to the room of hanging cages. Jerric stayed out in the chamber. He would want space to move with the lich, now that their summonings were engaged elsewhere. Lildereth knelt where she could see but still present the smallest possible target. Her bow’s lower limb rested on one thigh. She could shoot from this position as easily as if she was standing.

The lich made a sound like tearing parchment as it stalked into the chamber. Its voice, Lildereth realized, fighting the urge to flee. With a slight flex of knees the lich lifted into the air and hovered a Nord’s hand span from the floor. Jerric circled to meet it. The lich carried a staff in its left hand. Jerric held the dagger. Lildereth’s stomach contracted. How he must long for his sword.

Jerric opened with a tongue of flame that burned the lich’s floating garments to ash. He lunged forward, shield up and dagger to the side. The lich met him with a blast of lightning from its staff. Jerric charged through it, bashing the staff aside and slashing with his dagger.

That same feeling passed over her, like a water current that tugged the feet without disturbing the surface. Then a dry shriek sounded, and its shrill echo seemed to pierce her head.

The lich was standing on the floor now, and Jerric was recovering his balance. The lich drew its free arm back, clawed hand filling with grey mist.

Lildereth put an arrow through its left shoulder with one swift motion. The impact spun it to the floor, entangled with its staff. Jerric covered it with fire. She gathered herself, visible now and ready to lunge to full cover.

Something exploded in the far chamber. The flame atronach, Lildereth guessed. Smoke gusted in through the door. Then the space was filled with a figure made of glistening ice.

Jerric turned his head.

The lich pushed up from the floor, sending a ripple of something at the Nord. Jerric snapped back to attention, shield up. “My magicka's cursed,” he said. He dropped the dagger and drew his katana.

Lildereth fumbled for Darnand’s Scrolls of Dispelling. The air filled with shock energy and a Nord’s curses. “Stand still!” Lildereth called out. She sent the spell drifting toward him in a lazy swirl. Gods, don’t let him absorb it, she thought.

Jerric’s crow of triumph sounded with the crack of his atronach exploding. His fire roared over the retreating lich as its lighting sizzled around him. Then he charged into the smoke and flames.

Lildereth ran forward, coughing. Over an arrow tip she saw the Nord squirming on the floor in the lich’s smoldering remains, attempting to pat out his own embers. “You fetcher!” Lildereth recognized her voice before she realized that she had said that.

Jerric held up his shield arm. The hand was bare and black with ash. Healing light glittered between them. “Help me find my ring, will you?” he asked. “I had to drop it in this mess. Thought you’d be mad if I absorbed one of your scrolls.”

Lildereth stood numb while he found his feet.

“I got the soul energy,” Jerric told her. “I guess the trap works on the target, not the caster.” He gave her a look. “Because you didn’t dispel it when you banished my atronach.”

Lildereth stared. She spluttered. Then she snorted.

Jerric patted her with a filthy, stinking palm. “There she is. Come on, let’s get what we came for. Then I have some dead smugglers to shift. There’s a lot to do between us and a meal.” He looked at her hopefully. “Unless you brought another sandwich?”




.

This post has been edited by Grits: Oct 25 2012, 12:38 AM

[ghastley]

“I’m Silenced,” he said.

Er... If he was silenced, how? I presume she lip-read his silent mouthing of the words, but it reads weirdly.

Lildereth took a step back so she could look up at him. “And a lich.”

“All right, then.”

This confused me for a while, until I remembered that they wanted to fill a soul gem. A full Lich would be Grand.

And I missed where Jerric summoned Itchy (or whatever his name is) - I guess that was when the Flame Atronach was summoned, to balance the sides.

And that was just the ending. OK, done, when do we eat?

[mALX]

This entire chapter was breathtaking! Stunning! I SO wish they had that "I'm not worthy" emoticon at this site, I would fill this comment with it! Not sure how many quotes are allowed, but be prepared for me to spam your thread - I have to. I could quote the whole chapter, but would still have to pull these out:

The dust settled quickly. It should not present a difficulty, even when kicked up by the boots of a Nord.

The whole description of the dustiness in the sanctum was perfect for what one would imagine to find in a place that had been sealed so long, and leaving footprints in it - LOVED that touch! I always wished there had been kickable dust inside some of those ruins, not just the mold.

This next paragraph had to be broken down into sections, because each sentence was quoted for a different reason:

The powerful surge of magicka made her breath catch.

This was huge for visual and sensory imagery - what an enormous detail that could so easily have been missed! Everyone (me included) discusses the taste - you nailed this! I am in awe of how succinctly you brought us into Lildereth's experience here!

He could make the most exquisite poisons ... First he should make a strong potion against poisons. Then he wouldn’t kill himself with carelessness while he brewed them.

This really needed to be divided too, but not sure how many quotes one can use in a comment. Lildereth's thinking immediately jumps to what she could use on the tips of those arrows of hers - then realizes who she is talking about and the problems that would come up, ROFL !!

She spent a moment settling her mind again. Companionship brought distractions that she could not allow.

These chapters from Lildereth's POV - HUGE insight into the workings of her mind! She isn't one to speak about these thoughts to anyone - all those enigmatic looks she gives to Jerric, I always wondered what she was thinking - now I know. I am LOVING getting to know her inner self, always knew she would be tremendously deep - a whole lot like Jerric. I am LOVING this chapter!

An instant later she saw that smile.

All that fear of what she knew was ahead, "that smile." Not "a" smile, "that" one. This was HUGE wording here - proving exactly what I said last chapter. Jerric is a rock for Lildereth. She seems so sure of herself outwardly, but as we get her POV we see the vulnerability within her - and Jerric is the rock she can lean on when that vulnerability hits. HUGE WRITE !!!!!

Darnand’s company would be even better. She felt inadequate as backup and unnecessary as loot collector. Then she put foolishness away and simply followed the Nord.

What a dear Lildereth is here - inadequate to protect Jerric, that says a lot about how much Jerric means to her as a friend. They really have grown closer since they have been traveling just the two of them.

Jerric strode through the chambers as if he owned them.

What a line for visual imagery!

These next quotes are all stunningly and chillingly immersive, your world-building and descriptions here have me gobbling like a turkey! :

*One spoke in Aldmeris, its voice a hollow echo in her head. The other raised an arm and moved as if to walk around the table that was no longer there ... Something shuddered almost beneath her senses.

*A challenge sounded from further in at the same time it whispered through her mind. Lildereth shook off the dreadful feeling A ghost could steal one’s resolve as readily as it sucked the heat from one’s body.

*Lildereth watched the impact flashes from his shield enchantments over the tip of an arrow.

*She realized that at least one of the ghosts was solid enough to pick up a real weapon.

*She heard the air rip open in the chamber beyond. Blue light glimmered, followed by another tearing sound.

*The lich made a sound like tearing parchment as it stalked into the chamber. Its voice, Lildereth realized, fighting the urge to flee.

HUGE, HUGE WRITE !!!!!! HUGE !!!! I am in awe and humbled, you have totally ROCK'd my world with this chapter! Gobble gobble...gobble gobble!

The entire fight scene with the lich was spectacular, amazing write !!!!!

And this was the icing on the cake:

He gave her a look. “Because you didn’t dispel it when you banished my atronach.”

Lildereth stared. She spluttered. Then she snorted.

Jerric patted her with a filthy, stinking palm. “There she is. Come on, let’s get what we came for..."

Much needed humor after the tense battles, and once again you have turned around one of your battles with so much realistic "human error" - I will never forget that battle where you shocked the living heck out of me by having Jerric hit with frenzy and turning on Darnand and Lildereth!

You never cease to amaze, Grits !!! I am in awe of your creative mind and ability to draw us into it!!!! * (fills page with "I'm not worthy" emoticons) *

AWESOME WRITE !!!!!!!

[SubRosa]

I loved Lil's musing upon Nirn ley-lines at the very beginning.

Wonderful descriptions of the ghosts - Altmer no less - went about their ethereal business. The musty smell in the last room made me instantly think lich. Along with the really powerful life force. I see I guessed right!

Jerric grinned again. “Well, I’ll go in there and kill it.”
Now that's a Nord talking!

I see Jerric is taking care of business with the ghosts. It was a good touch for them to use the same spells they did in life. It gives them character

Now the lich, with an astronaut too. That was a good fight! And ending with the thought of a sandwich! That is our Jerric alright.

[Acadian]

Lildereth’s concern and affection for the big Nord just shine throughout this wonderful episode! I love the contrast between Jerric and Lildereth. These three passages showcase the pure power and beauty of mystic archery that flows so naturally from Lildereth:
‘She cast her spell to extend the range of Jerric’s life detection ring.’
’Lildereth watched the impact flashes from his shield enchantments over the tip of an arrow.’
‘Lildereth put an arrow through its left shoulder with one swift motion. The impact spun it to the floor,’

Then here, she brings a smile with her magnificent description of who Jerric is:
‘a fortress of warmth and weaponry.’

The finale with the lich was superb. Jerric having his magic cursed, then Lildereth uncursing it with a scroll with the unexpected side effect of dispelling Jerric’s Frostie as well. Just epic! And as SubRosa mentioned, ending with Jerric asking for a sandwich was simply perfect.

Nit?
‘Two pinkish glows faded into view as she moved closer.’
To me, ‘faded’ just didn’t work here as the glows were coming into view instead of, well, fading out of view. You might consider tinkering with words like shimmered, materialized, glimmered?

[King Coin]

Like others before me, I liked the line about the dust and the Nord boots. I figured the dust would bother Lildereth because it would make it clear that someone moved through there recently.

The description of the ghosts of Altmer entered the chamber was most excellent. The chill touching her face was a great line.

One life sign glowed ahead past a low archway at the end of the chamber. Its intensity made her take extra care... A lich. She would be powerless against it. Her scouting trip was over.
A lich! I can feel this line. ‘That’s it. Time to get out of here; this is too dangerous.’

The lich trapped or nested? Those warded doors weren’t there just for fun. Trapped I think.

I almost wondered if she was going to mention the lich. Her thoughts on getting Jerric as quiet as possible, even examining his armor was a treat. Jerric thought so too.

Lildereth chewed her lip. “What about the lich?”

Jerric grinned again. “Well, I’ll go in there and kill it.”
Simple!

The fights from Lildereth’s perspective are neat. He just strides in and starts blowing stuff up. When Jerric saw the lich coming, I felt the dread of the moment. The fight against the lich was going well, and then it cursed Jerric’s magic. That was absolutely brilliant when Lildereth sent a spell at him to restore it!

A sandwich!?

[McBadgere]

Just read through the last three parts...Ye Gods, has it been that long?... ...

Aaaamywho, such an amazing story...Loving the fact that it's from Lildreth's pov...Fantastically done...

I had a long list of things to quote, but it really is too long... ...

Absolute brilliance *Applauds*...

My only (mock ) complaint - The fight between the Atronachs being off screen, but hey ho...Maybe next time... ...

Absolutely loved the whole thing...

Nice one!!....

*Applauds most heartily*...

This post has been edited by McBadgere: Nov 9 2012, 05:04 AM

[Lycanthropic-Legend]

Dude. This story is amazing!! Jerric is such an interesting character and you've been developing him quite well. And I love that about stories. You took your time to flesh him out. I am definetly still catching up though, and a proper review shall be in place!