Jerric's Story, A Nord's Adventures in Cyrodiil Options

[ghastley]

“I’m Silenced,” he said.

Er... If he was silenced, how? I presume she lip-read his silent mouthing of the words, but it reads weirdly.

Lildereth took a step back so she could look up at him. “And a lich.”

“All right, then.”

This confused me for a while, until I remembered that they wanted to fill a soul gem. A full Lich would be Grand.

And I missed where Jerric summoned Itchy (or whatever his name is) - I guess that was when the Flame Atronach was summoned, to balance the sides.

And that was just the ending. OK, done, when do we eat?

[mALX]

This entire chapter was breathtaking! Stunning! I SO wish they had that "I'm not worthy" emoticon at this site, I would fill this comment with it! Not sure how many quotes are allowed, but be prepared for me to spam your thread - I have to. I could quote the whole chapter, but would still have to pull these out:

The dust settled quickly. It should not present a difficulty, even when kicked up by the boots of a Nord.

The whole description of the dustiness in the sanctum was perfect for what one would imagine to find in a place that had been sealed so long, and leaving footprints in it - LOVED that touch! I always wished there had been kickable dust inside some of those ruins, not just the mold.

This next paragraph had to be broken down into sections, because each sentence was quoted for a different reason:

The powerful surge of magicka made her breath catch.

This was huge for visual and sensory imagery - what an enormous detail that could so easily have been missed! Everyone (me included) discusses the taste - you nailed this! I am in awe of how succinctly you brought us into Lildereth's experience here!

He could make the most exquisite poisons ... First he should make a strong potion against poisons. Then he wouldn’t kill himself with carelessness while he brewed them.

This really needed to be divided too, but not sure how many quotes one can use in a comment. Lildereth's thinking immediately jumps to what she could use on the tips of those arrows of hers - then realizes who she is talking about and the problems that would come up, ROFL !!

She spent a moment settling her mind again. Companionship brought distractions that she could not allow.

These chapters from Lildereth's POV - HUGE insight into the workings of her mind! She isn't one to speak about these thoughts to anyone - all those enigmatic looks she gives to Jerric, I always wondered what she was thinking - now I know. I am LOVING getting to know her inner self, always knew she would be tremendously deep - a whole lot like Jerric. I am LOVING this chapter!

An instant later she saw that smile.

All that fear of what she knew was ahead, "that smile." Not "a" smile, "that" one. This was HUGE wording here - proving exactly what I said last chapter. Jerric is a rock for Lildereth. She seems so sure of herself outwardly, but as we get her POV we see the vulnerability within her - and Jerric is the rock she can lean on when that vulnerability hits. HUGE WRITE !!!!!

Darnand’s company would be even better. She felt inadequate as backup and unnecessary as loot collector. Then she put foolishness away and simply followed the Nord.

What a dear Lildereth is here - inadequate to protect Jerric, that says a lot about how much Jerric means to her as a friend. They really have grown closer since they have been traveling just the two of them.

Jerric strode through the chambers as if he owned them.

What a line for visual imagery!

These next quotes are all stunningly and chillingly immersive, your world-building and descriptions here have me gobbling like a turkey! :

*One spoke in Aldmeris, its voice a hollow echo in her head. The other raised an arm and moved as if to walk around the table that was no longer there ... Something shuddered almost beneath her senses.

*A challenge sounded from further in at the same time it whispered through her mind. Lildereth shook off the dreadful feeling A ghost could steal one’s resolve as readily as it sucked the heat from one’s body.

*Lildereth watched the impact flashes from his shield enchantments over the tip of an arrow.

*She realized that at least one of the ghosts was solid enough to pick up a real weapon.

*She heard the air rip open in the chamber beyond. Blue light glimmered, followed by another tearing sound.

*The lich made a sound like tearing parchment as it stalked into the chamber. Its voice, Lildereth realized, fighting the urge to flee.

HUGE, HUGE WRITE !!!!!! HUGE !!!! I am in awe and humbled, you have totally ROCK'd my world with this chapter! Gobble gobble...gobble gobble!

The entire fight scene with the lich was spectacular, amazing write !!!!!

And this was the icing on the cake:

He gave her a look. “Because you didn’t dispel it when you banished my atronach.”

Lildereth stared. She spluttered. Then she snorted.

Jerric patted her with a filthy, stinking palm. “There she is. Come on, let’s get what we came for..."

Much needed humor after the tense battles, and once again you have turned around one of your battles with so much realistic "human error" - I will never forget that battle where you shocked the living heck out of me by having Jerric hit with frenzy and turning on Darnand and Lildereth!

You never cease to amaze, Grits !!! I am in awe of your creative mind and ability to draw us into it!!!! * (fills page with "I'm not worthy" emoticons) *

AWESOME WRITE !!!!!!!

[SubRosa]

I loved Lil's musing upon Nirn ley-lines at the very beginning.

Wonderful descriptions of the ghosts - Altmer no less - went about their ethereal business. The musty smell in the last room made me instantly think lich. Along with the really powerful life force. I see I guessed right!

Jerric grinned again. “Well, I’ll go in there and kill it.”
Now that's a Nord talking!

I see Jerric is taking care of business with the ghosts. It was a good touch for them to use the same spells they did in life. It gives them character

Now the lich, with an astronaut too. That was a good fight! And ending with the thought of a sandwich! That is our Jerric alright.

[Acadian]

Lildereth’s concern and affection for the big Nord just shine throughout this wonderful episode! I love the contrast between Jerric and Lildereth. These three passages showcase the pure power and beauty of mystic archery that flows so naturally from Lildereth:
‘She cast her spell to extend the range of Jerric’s life detection ring.’
’Lildereth watched the impact flashes from his shield enchantments over the tip of an arrow.’
‘Lildereth put an arrow through its left shoulder with one swift motion. The impact spun it to the floor,’

Then here, she brings a smile with her magnificent description of who Jerric is:
‘a fortress of warmth and weaponry.’

The finale with the lich was superb. Jerric having his magic cursed, then Lildereth uncursing it with a scroll with the unexpected side effect of dispelling Jerric’s Frostie as well. Just epic! And as SubRosa mentioned, ending with Jerric asking for a sandwich was simply perfect.

Nit?
‘Two pinkish glows faded into view as she moved closer.’
To me, ‘faded’ just didn’t work here as the glows were coming into view instead of, well, fading out of view. You might consider tinkering with words like shimmered, materialized, glimmered?

[King Coin]

Like others before me, I liked the line about the dust and the Nord boots. I figured the dust would bother Lildereth because it would make it clear that someone moved through there recently.

The description of the ghosts of Altmer entered the chamber was most excellent. The chill touching her face was a great line.

One life sign glowed ahead past a low archway at the end of the chamber. Its intensity made her take extra care... A lich. She would be powerless against it. Her scouting trip was over.
A lich! I can feel this line. ‘That’s it. Time to get out of here; this is too dangerous.’

The lich trapped or nested? Those warded doors weren’t there just for fun. Trapped I think.

I almost wondered if she was going to mention the lich. Her thoughts on getting Jerric as quiet as possible, even examining his armor was a treat. Jerric thought so too.

Lildereth chewed her lip. “What about the lich?”

Jerric grinned again. “Well, I’ll go in there and kill it.”
Simple!

The fights from Lildereth’s perspective are neat. He just strides in and starts blowing stuff up. When Jerric saw the lich coming, I felt the dread of the moment. The fight against the lich was going well, and then it cursed Jerric’s magic. That was absolutely brilliant when Lildereth sent a spell at him to restore it!

A sandwich!?

[McBadgere]

Just read through the last three parts...Ye Gods, has it been that long?... ...

Aaaamywho, such an amazing story...Loving the fact that it's from Lildreth's pov...Fantastically done...

I had a long list of things to quote, but it really is too long... ...

Absolute brilliance *Applauds*...

My only (mock ) complaint - The fight between the Atronachs being off screen, but hey ho...Maybe next time... ...

Absolutely loved the whole thing...

Nice one!!....

*Applauds most heartily*...

This post has been edited by McBadgere: Nov 9 2012, 05:04 AM

[Lycanthropic-Legend]

Dude. This story is amazing!! Jerric is such an interesting character and you've been developing him quite well. And I love that about stories. You took your time to flesh him out. I am definetly still catching up though, and a proper review shall be in place!

[Grits]

Previously: Lildereth and Jerric are in Hrotanda Vale collecting Welkynd stones and filling soul gems. They found that the resident smugglers had been recently killed in a raid, leaving one survivor (the teenaged Nord girl Valdi). Inside the ruin Lildereth watched as Jerric tackled five ghosts and a lich. She did manage to use a scroll and an arrow, making both count.


ghastley: Oops, I went back and changed the wording around “Silenced.” I especially didn’t want to use that term about a curse against someone’s magicka since I was also using a spell that would muffle or silence the noise that something makes, and then I wrote it that way anyway! Thank you for pointing it out! You’re right, they nabbed a grand soul from the lich. Darnand will be delighted. And yes, Itchy and the flamey were duking it out in the other room. Lildereth didn’t get a very good view of that part.

mALX: Thank you so much, mALX! These Lildereth parts have been tricky for me to work out how much to include. So much goes on in her mind, and most of it doesn’t show. Plus she sometimes thinks one thing and does something that seems at odds with it for underlying reasons that she wouldn’t have been thinking about at the time, so I have to be careful that she doesn’t seem like a lunatic. You nailed exactly what I was hoping for with “that” smile. Thank you!!

SubRosa: I’m so glad you were thinking lich right away! In the game Jerric is a ghost and lich killing machine. He just soaks up the attacks and sends the magicka back as fire. That would have been so boring to read. I was hoping that Lildereth’s more nervous perspective might help. I’m sure Skyrim’s influence was there with the ghosts. I love how they’re still people, not just glowing blobs. Thank you, SubRosa!

Acadian: Thank you for pointing out “faded,” I went back and reworded that part. Your kind words about Lildereth mean so much, since it was Buffy who made me reconsider archery with an arcane twist a couple of years ago. I so enjoyed showing the affection that has grown beneath Lil’s sometimes brusque manner. Thank you so much, Acadian!

King Coin: I’m glad you picked out that moment when Lildereth decided to end her scouting trip. That was one of the big differences between her and Jerric. He rarely thinks something was a bad idea until it’s over! Thank you, KC! I always enjoy your insights into Lildereth.

McBadgere: I thought about you when I made the atronach fight happen in the other room. Sorry! I knew you wouldn't let that go unremarked upon! We will eventually see Ishckrihk in his (its?) full glory. Thank you very much, McB!

Lycanthropic-Legend: Welcome to the story, LL! I’m glad you’re reading. I’m sometimes afraid that I spend too much time with the characters and not enough on the plot, but that’s something I’m (slowly of course) working on. Also, just in case, the Darnandex link in my sig has a list of characters. Thank you, LL!


Coming up next: This update brings us to two years and about a quarter million words. I am so grateful for each person who has decided to come along on this journey. Your support means so much to me. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Oh, and this part wraps up our Chorrol adventure.

[Grits]

Chapter 15: Chorrol, Part Nineteen


Jerric didn’t want to let her leave. He lay back against a tree trunk watching the life sign through his closed eyelids. The moons were up, and Valdi was fidgeting in her bedroll. It was only a matter of time.

It had taken the rest of yesterday and the better part of today to put the smugglers to rest. Valdi had helped. She had walked away behind some boulders when he broke the news, returning with swollen eyes and a lip bloodied where she had bitten through it. It was then that he knew she wouldn’t stay with them. And there was nothing they could do for her if she wouldn’t trust.

Valdi’s life glow moved. She was pushing herself to her feet, quietly finding her boots and packs. Jerric willed himself to relax and breathe as if he had fallen asleep on his watch. She hesitated over his shoulder bag. He had packed it with his own potions and trail rations made from the smugglers’ food stores. Not knowing how to broach the subject, he simply left it out for Valdi to take. There was no way to tell if she was struggling over the theft or if she had darker matters on her mind. If she made a move toward Lildereth’s bow or his weapons, he would have to stop her. He cracked an eyelid open to peek.

She picked up his bag, slung her bedroll across the opposite shoulder, and walked away into the moonlight.

Jerric stood the rest of his watch and part of Lildereth’s. He wasn’t sure how the elf would react to Valdi’s departure. She might have tried to stop her. Guilt crept in for taking the decision out of her hands. He let it come. He deserved it.

Finally he decided that Valdi had a good enough head start. He gave Lildereth’s foot a gentle squeeze through the furs, watching her carefully. There was often something soft or even capricious in her face when she first woke, just for a moment before responsibilities took over. He still didn’t know what purpose drove her, but she wore it like a yoke. Perhaps someday she might be free of it. For now he just enjoyed the look when she opened her eyes and recognized him, so swift and natural that it had to be true.

The fire had died down low the way she preferred it. Jerric passed her his life detection ring.

“She left at moonrise,” he said.

Lildereth brushed the hair away from her eyes. “I thought she might. And I know you’re not surprised. You didn’t fool me with all of your re-packing and arranging.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

She gave him a crooked smile. “Why didn’t you?”

Jerric got out of his clothes while Lildereth slipped into hers. Their routine made him miss the dog and the Breton. It took some time to get the rocks and roots arranged under him. He kicked a foot free to keep himself cool. Which way had Valdi gone, he wondered.

Lildereth returned from her trip to the bushes. She stood watching him for a moment.

“Do you want me to help?” she finally asked.

“No, but thanks. I should have rubbed one out before I woke you. Then I’d be asleep already.” He flipped over onto his back. “Unless you want to go check the ruin again? Might have missed a bottle. Or did you mean something other than a calming spell?” He wiggled his brows at her.

The elf performed an eyeroll and turned away. Jerric grinned to himself. This time with Lildereth kept him above his grief but away from his burdens, in those uncounted hours where he could just be. Perhaps that was also what Lildereth sought in his company. With that thought his mind found the ease of sleep.



Dry ground and poor hunting made for a swift return to Chorrol. Jerric hoped for another surprise wardrobe change from Lildereth, but the elf kept her travel-stained cloak wrapped around her all the way to the North Gate.

Jerric stopped to speak to the guards. “Have you seen a young Nord woman come through here? She would be wearing a brown cloak and carrying packs, with an iron-tipped bow and an old axe on her hip.”

The guards exchanged a glance.

“A redhead,” Jerric added.

“A redheaded Nord woman in a brown cloak,” mused one guard, gazing into the trees and rubbing his chin. “That’s a rare sight.”

The other guard looked straight up at Jerric. “Sir, are you jesting? If you have a report to make, go to the castle. They’ll direct you at the outer gate.”

Lildereth swept past them all like a tiny forest queen. Jerric took another look at the first guard so he would remember him. This was no time to assault an officer of the law, but if the opportunity arose he might be tempted to resist arrest.

He slowed his steps as they passed through the Fighters Guild archway and approached the Great Oak. Lildereth walked with her shoulder against his arm despite their extra burdens. Her silence said what neither of them would voice.

Then she halted in surprise. “Look, Darnand! And Abiene!”

The two Bretons strolled arm in arm up the street. Neither of them wore cloaks despite the cold, marking them as mages or wealthy. Darnand held his head down at an angle, listening intently to Abiene. She gestured with her free hand in a familiar way that brought Jerric’s heart to his throat. The sick dread he had pushed away overtook him. Abiene was a talisman against his darkness. Now she stood ready to join the shadows. He might hold her again, but their time was over.

“They look well together,” Lildereth remarked. “A handsome couple.”

Jerric didn’t mean to snap, but he did. “Jealous?”

“Are you?” She gave him a sharp look.

Jerric shuffled the packs, trying to swallow his bitterness before they had to speak.

“Jerric!” Abiene still held Darnand’s arm, but her face shone with such delight surely the whole world must see it. “And Lildereth! I’m so pleased to see you!”

“We’re back,” said Lildereth, unnecessarily.

Jerric took a grateful breath.

Darnand’s raised brows promised a torrent of questions.

“We found a staff,” said Jerric. He shoved it into his friend’s chest.

Darnand seemed to leave their company without moving his feet as he began to examine the staff.

“I want a warm bath, some mulled wine, and a meal that wasn’t cooked by a Nord,” Lildereth announced. “Abiene, are you working tonight? We need to discuss our plans, but I believe we will depart in the morning. Perhaps we all might dine together?”

Abiene’s smile didn’t falter, but her eyes filled. “Oh, this wind!” She lifted a sleeve to her face. “I am free until tomorrow, by happenstance. I intended to join Darnand for dinner at the guild hall. Does that suit you? If not, we might… But of course the guild hall will be perfect. After the meal we shall sit by the fire as we did in Anvil. Remember the night before Saturalia?”

“Yeah,” said Jerric.

Darnand looked over at Abiene.

Lildereth’s voice was light as a breeze. “I remember.” She glanced up at Jerric. After a moment she gave him the eyebrow.

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah. I need a bath too. And, uh, I can walk you back to the chapel tonight, Abiene. On my way to the Mare. I’ve been sleeping there. Uh, in case you didn’t know.”

Darnand lifted the staff with an unspoken question.

“Keep it,” Jerric told him. “And I have some salvage for you to trade. My gear doesn’t need repair this time. Everything that hit me was squishy.”

“Keep me company?” Lildereth asked Abiene. The two women linked arms and started toward the guild hall. Lildereth called back over her shoulder. “Nord, don’t forget!”

“Right,” said Jerric. He tore his eyes away and focused on his friend. “Step quickly at the shops and find me at the bathhouse. You have work to do.” Darnand’s expression made him grin. “I brought you some magicka gems.”

[McBadgere]

YAY!!!... ...

A very excellent update!!...(+ a late xmas prezzie )...

Aaaamywho, loved the bit in the forest...The banter between the three of them was what I loved from when I first started reading Jerric...Brilliant stuff...

And then you get the somewhat heartrending scene where everyone is looking at everyone else with jealousy and all sorts of horrible grown-up emotional bleurgh stuff...(Very mature me!!)...

Love it!!...

Wonderful writing...Amazing stuff...

We will eventually see Ishckrihk in his (its?) full glory.

Personally, I'd say his...But then, that's me isn't it?... ...

Absolutely amazing writing...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

[Acadian]

Two years and 2.5K words! What a fun journey it's been! Your characters are such a joy to read as they fully live and breathe in Jerric’s world! May your magic quill grace us with many more years and words.

‘Lildereth returned from her trip to the bushes. She stood watching him for a moment.’
How delicately you understate that personal needs and bodily functions do exist in Tamriel.

Oh my. What a scene when J&L encountered A&D! You have managed to make me feel so much of the turmoil that Jerric must be experiencing. I must confess that, given my love of small mer-maids, I am quite taken by Lildereth. . . and that part of me agrees with her – Darnand and Abiene make a lovely couple. The reciprocal sentiment can't help but tug loudly at my heart – Jerric and Lildereth make a lovely couple as well. What magic you have woven that we can become so attached to your fabulous foursome and their complex interactions.

"My gear doesn’t need repair this time. Everything that hit me was squishy.”

[SubRosa]

Jerric Returns!

Valdi's departure was wonderfully bittersweet, and Jerric's willingness to let her go quietly show how he has matured.

I enjoyed Jerric's momentary reflection upon Lildreth and her driven nature. I wonder if I am reading too much ominousness (ominousity?) from the use of the word yoke? I hope so. I also home that some day we will learn just what it is that drives Lil.

“A redheaded Nord woman in a brown cloak,” mused one guard, gazing into the trees and rubbing his chin. “That’s a rare sight.”
I was thinking that too!

Neither of them wore cloaks despite the cold, marking them as mages or wealthy.
I liked this subtle implication of resist frost enchantments and how it builds the world. But does that mean that the RL people I see walking around in shorts the dead of winter are magicians?

And a reunion of the Fab Four. No that will always be the Four Blades of Sancre Tor. A reunion of the Fantastic Four! So much more unsaid and implied than spoken in their meeting! That was an excellent piece of writing. Congrats!

[King Coin]

Letting Valdi go on her own terms was a very Jerric thing. And Lil's knowledge of Jerric's plan was a very Lil thing as well.

Jerric watching her wake was an adorable scene. It shows how much they really care for each other.

I never considered that detect life would work with closed eyes, but why not? It’s a clever way to keep an eye on things while feigning sleep.

This time with Lildereth kept him above his grief but away from his burdens, in those uncounted hours where he could just be. Perhaps that was also what Lildereth sought in his company. With that thought his mind found the ease of sleep.
I am so glad that they give each other such peace. This and a few other lines later on show how close they are. They seem much alike despite their obvious differences.

Meeting Darnand and Abiene was interesting. Jerric and Lil looking on and seeing what neither of them feel like they can have. Lil was ever the diplomat and moved things right along before they got awkward.

So glad you are writing again Grits!

[treydog]

Jerric is back?! (Squeaks like a dachshund puppy). Now THIS is a Saturalia gift!

[mALX]

Will come back to read as soon as I can get on a PC where I can read. Urk!

[ghastley]

Well worth waiting for!

I particularly liked This was no time to assault an officer of the law, but if the opportunity arose he might be tempted to resist arrest. That was the old Jerric coming back (if he'd ever been away).

[mALX]

Jerric is a caretaker, it isn’t easy for him to relinquish his responsibility for…everyone he meets. He read Valdi well, and supplied her needs in such a way that she could leave on her own terms - he is pretty awesome for all the base front he appears to be to those who don’t know him!

He still didn’t know what purpose drove her, but she wore it like a yoke.

What a line! I am in awe of your ability to phrase the same words we all know into such deep meaning in such a succinct way! Absolutely LOVE your writing!

Like Jerric, Lildereth reads people well and acts in the background to ensure no unwanted interference in their decisions. LOVE how she knew why Jerric was shuffling things around and didn’t say a word !!!!

Abiene is the water cracking the rock of the close friendships between the other three (Jerric, Darnand, and Lildereth), and does it entirely without realization or malice (or so it seems). I can never tell if she actually doesn’t see Darnand’s feelings or is trying to make them go away by ignoring them.

I could be wrong, but I think Lildereth has a quiet heart that will accept whatever outcome with no fight or outward sign of the pain it may cause. I think she cares deeply for Jerric, but knows about his feelings for Abiene and awaits the outcome of that relationship before letting herself free to feel anything that she is capable of pushing away.

As always, tremendously HUGE Write!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

I'm on page 17 of this story, and I'm hooked! I can't waaaaiiiiit to get caught up!

I have to go now. My husband is playing "Drop it Like it's Hot" and knows I can't control my laughter during this song.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Oh no! I'm caught up! NOOOO!

Now what will I do with my time?! -looks at hands helplessly-

[Grits]

Previously: Jerric, Darnand, Lildereth, and Ulfe finished their business in Chorrol.


McBadgere: Thank you very much, McB! It’s funny how they went all unhappy right when they could have just been pleased to be together. Like you said, bleurgh!

Acadian: Thank you for your kind words, Acadian! Your reaction to the foursome’s street meeting really made me smile. The journey from imagination to an actual post is sometimes a very long one, and your support and encouragement helps a great deal along the way. Thank you.

SubRosa: I’m afraid you’re right about the ominous..ness..ity of the word “yoke.” Lil is set on a path that brings her no joy. We will hear more about it, and soon. Unsaid and implied was exactly what I was hoping for in that meeting, whew! Thank you so much!

King Coin: Thank you KC! I am thrilled that you pointed out how Jerric and Lil are in some ways alike, especially since their differences are so great and many. Adorable is just what he was thinking while she was waking up. That quote you picked out is the heart of what draws Jerric to Lildereth. Thank you so much for drawing attention to it!

treydog: Here’s some more, just in time for Heart’s Day! Might we hope for some more from Athlain and Athynae? (Ulfe says please?)

mALX: Thank you so much, mALX! You are exactly right about both Abiene and Lildereth. We’ll get a look inside Abiene’s brain in this next part, and answer the question of how much cracking is on purpose and what might just be collateral damage. And you’re right that Lil would never let it show, she would just slip away and not look back until she had melted into the trees.

ghastley: Lol, you’re right, that’s the guy who’s on a first name basis with every prison guard in western Cyrodiil. Thank you, ghastley!

Elisabeth Hollow: Welcome to the story! Wow, you caught up!! I’m glad you’re reading.


Next: Of course Abiene wouldn’t let the story move on without having her say. Here is an interlude with Abiene, just this one post.