Jerric's Story, A Nord's Adventures in Cyrodiil Options

[SubRosa]

I’ll eat your heart with a side of balls.
And orc with a taste for mountain oysters! Somehow I don't think she's exaggerating either!

Aaaand it looks like she got a taste of Jerric after all. I do think that is the first time he has had sex since hooking up with Abiene. With someone else at least. I have been expecting that for a long time. Though I do not believe that means he has moved on. Just that his penis finally won out over his brain. Most men don't last that long in that battle, especially the young ones filled with testosterone.

Kjestrid sounds like a good solid Nordic woman. As Kid Rock said: "I like big corn fed Midwestern ho's" Except without the ho part.

Huh, he thought, denying his regret. Soft-bellied mages.
Wimps!

Bugshat’s the cook. Yeah, he’s an orc. No, I’m not jesting.”
Uh oh, since Orcs view horses as a main course, I am guessing dogs might be the appetizer... Looks like Jerric had the same idea too! Ulfe's lucky she's not a St. Bernard or Rottweiler, or she'd been in a pot with some garlic and rosemary.

“Go ahead, I won’t take offense. You should hear what your name sounds like in the Orsimer tongue.”
This reminds me of Alien Nation, and the main character Sykes, who name sounds like "cranium excrement" in the Newcomer's native language.

Looks like the Bruma FG and MG do not work as well together as the two guilds in Bravil. I am not surprised, given the nature of the Bruma MG leader.

[Grits]

YIKES!!

Emergency edit to clarify the orc-humping. They were having a fistfight. (Which would actually be pretty much the same, considering the two participants. ) I changed it a little:

Bumph tipped her head back and made a grimace that Jerric took as a smile. “Try me.” She got him out of his armor and into the sparring area before he had time to think.

Jerric had added some of his blood to the stains on the floor mats by the time the front door opened again, admitting a group of fighters.

Sorry about that, folks! Jerric's balls are still as blue as when he first arrived.

This post has been edited by Grits: Nov 15 2013, 01:52 AM

[Elisabeth Hollow]

OMFG XD Grits!!!! I was like "Wow, that was unexpected!" LMFAO!!!!

[Grits]

Lol. Yeah, right in the middle of the practice floor (and cold sober) is a little bold, even for Jerric. My editing went very wrong!!

[SubRosa]

Awww, poor Jerric. Blue balls and a busted lip to go with them.

[ghastley]

I didn't catch what Jerric and Bumph's activities looked like before the adjustment, but I am left wondering if she took her shirt off, too.

I'm glad you've added more people to the FG; that place was always a bit empty. Except that it had beds for four, if I'm remembering right, and now you've got twice that many! Even if the porter never sleeps...

Nits: "Asgerd will check the roles rolls when she gets back." When there are homophones, it seems like you always want the other one. Except when it's bare/bear riders, when they both work.

I was about to point out that Jerric's left his sword for repair, and then gone off to Right-Wind for training, but of course he'd never be caught with only one blade, and he wouldn't spar with his main one.

[Acadian]

I really liked this but for the opposite reason of the previous episode. Your description of the MG was like donning a favorite pair of cozy slippers, but the FG is all new territory to Buffy and I. So. . . your descriptions of the members were either lost in ancient Acadian history or completely new to me. I shall definitely ask Buffy to take us there and perhaps ask that nice porter to give her a tour – well, after they stop laughing of course.

“Is there another place I can go in Bruma?”
Jaan pointed his hammer at the door. “Sure. Go hump yourself.” - - Oh this got a treydogian gigglesnort!

‘Jerric snorted. “Bugshat? Are you jesting?” - - As did this!

You really gave me a fright for a moment regarding dear Ulfe!

Gosh, I must say that Jerric seems to fit right in with that FG bunch. Perhaps a bit more than with his soft bellied mages in the other guild. Of course, none of those other steel-suiters can summon a Frost Astronaut like Jerric can!

Wow, that FG branch commander seems to quite have her stuff together. Can’t wait to see what she’s got in mind for Jerric’s contract and how it ties to Jauffre.

[King Coin]

17-3

Ah, it took me a moment to remember who the Alter in this was supposed to be. Is there a missing Khajiit?

The poor scamp has probably been pulled back and forth between Oblivion and Tamriel for hours!

If this guild hall specialized in necromancy at one time, those other facilities might be of interest to Darnand. Is ‘cold storage’ simply a locked box outside? I am interested in what kind of quarters the Fighter’s Guild is going to offer. I expect plenty of Nords.

“Please ignore him. He has received many blows to the head.”

Lil to the rescue.

Inventory eh? Sounds like a way to resupply.

“We may not wear your fancy rings, but make no mistake. Honmund is my man.”

[haute ecole rider]

Now I regret not catching the first go around of this most recent installment! I always thought Bumph was a toughie when it comes to everything, including sex. She certainly is someone who's got my (and Julian's) respect! I always smile at her name. I'm sure she gives her foes (and lovers!) quite the bumps!

So Jerric finally realized what Alga was talking about? That part made me laugh, especially when he realized what Lil was doing! That little Bosmer must be pretty proud of herself right about now!

[Darkness Eternal]

If you lied to me, I’ll eat your heart with a side of balls.”

My, how graphic. A true a vulgarian!

Fun chapter. I thought for a moment Ulfe was chow. So, Jerric was indirectly sword-blocked by the brothel-hating Lildereth and he has to deal with Jaan, who by the way is just a bright ray of sunshine . . .

I liked the exchange between Bugshat(lol) and Jerric, and the good old humor of Orsimer cooks and their fellow co-workers. Certainly rings a bell.

[King Coin]

17-4

Lol, what a lovely place the Fighters’ guild is. Though the Mages’ guild doesn’t sound any more pleasant!

I somehow think Lil’s got their best interests in mind when she prevented Jerric from having any fun here. Jerric seems to be waaay too chatty.

Jaan of the basement! I thought Jerric would be at home in this dump, but slow smith and now he has to worry about Orcs eating Ulfe!

[Colonel Mustard]

The fighter's guild is very Brumese, isn't it?

I absolutely loved this part, and I got a lot of belly laughs from Jaan of the Basement and the kitchen scene (Bugshat! ). Asgerd looks like an interesting character as well, and the coded conversation was an interesting read, even if was simply because Jerric was being put through his mental paces a great deal there.

Loved this chapter, and looking forward to the next part

[Grits]

Previously: Jerric introduced himself at the Bruma Fighters Guild. He learned that the chapter head Asgerd was in contact with the Blades, and she had a job for him. But first he should spar with Right-Wind. He has also been assigned the task of making J’skar reappear at the Mages Guild.


Elisabeth Hollow: Lol, the image of Jerric and Bumph spilling fluids on the practice mats has now been seared into my brain. Sorry about that! Yeah, the Bruma FG kitchen is not going to pass any kind of inspection.

SubRosa: You’re right, Jerric’s kept it in his pants since he came back to Abiene, except for the incident at the Sanguine shrine that he’s not disclosing. It’s been an unprecedented stretch of near-monogamy! He’s been away from Abiene for about a week and a half now. With all of the strange for hire at the brothel next door he’s definitely feeling tempted. Not to mention the corn-fed Nord that just caught his eye. I would expect him to hump first and think about it later. Not this time, though. Cranium Excrement, lol. The dog meat is just one piece of cultural awkwardness that must pop up all of the time in Tamriel. I think the races sometimes seem very alien to each other. Thank you, SubRosa!

ghastley: Thanks for catching that nit, I even looked it up first and still got it wrong. You’re right, not only does Jerric carry an arsenal, but he’d also spar with the guild’s blunted practice blades. He wishes he got one of those beds from the game. In the story I only gave him a bare cot! Thank you, ghastley!

Acadian: The game only gives us Bumph and Right-Wind (plus a generic porter), so Jerric’s version of the Bruma FG is quite a bit more lively. I liked leaving the Mages Guild mostly empty, though, to reflect recent events in the guild as well as Jeanne’s questionable leadership. I’m glad Asgerd came across as pulled-together. The guild hall is kind of a mess, but she’s not a slouch. Thank you, Acadian!

King Coin: Lol, resupply. That is a very Darnand idea! I can see him paralyzed with indecision if he found a black soul gem. I’m sure Jerric will be throwing bottles on the floor at the Fighters Guild before long right with the rest of them. And scraping the mold off of some leftover rat meat. You called it on his chattiness, it was all he could do not to play “wanna see my sword” with Kjestrid. And we know he’d make an ass of himself trying to lie about where he got his katana! Thanks, KC!

haute ecole rider: Indeed, Jerric would have come out of the tussle with some marks on him no matter which way he bumped with Bumph! I have a lot of affection for the orcs of Oblivion, so it’s fun to write them. You’re right, Lil has a lot to be smug about. The presence of so many Nordic bosoms has not quickened Jerric’s wits. Too bad she couldn’t be there when he figured it out! Thank you, haute!

Darkness Eternal: Thank you, DE! I worked as a prep cook in a typically verbally abusive restaurant kitchen, but at the end of every night we all hung out at the bar together until they closed. I’m glad some of that odd camaraderie came across.

Colonel Mustard: When I first saw the Bruma Fighters Guild with the blood stains and bottles on the floor, I knew it would have to be a dump. I’m glad you’re enjoying the characters. There was a lot going on around Jerric, so Jaan only had a brief window to make an impression. Thanks, Mustard!


Next: Bruma. This update ran a little long since I didn’t want to split up the scene. It will be more than a week before I post again, though. I have to untangle the mess I made during NaNoWriMo!

[Grits]

.

Chapter 17: Bruma, Part Five

Jerric found Right-Wind sparring with an Imperial woman on the training floor. It looked like a lesson. Rather than interrupt he whistled for Ulfe and ducked next door to the Mages Guild.

Jeanne greeted him before the door closed. “Hel-looo, Associate!” Her fretful scamp popped in and then out in a blink. Its cackle sounded like a strangled imitation of Jeanne’s piercing warble. Jerric turned his laugh into a snort.

Ulfe trotted over to the supply room door and stood with her tail waving. Jerric guessed Darnand was in there busy counting quills. He walked over to the alchemy shop to question Selena.

The alchemist perched on the edge of her chair fiddling with vials. She had that hyper-vigilant look that made Jerric cringe. No doubt she would decant his potions just to count the lumps.

“Good afternoon,” Jerric said to her.

Selena’s expression was less than welcoming. “Do you seek a trade, Associate?”

“Uh, no thank you. Not right now. I was wondering if you know anything about J’skar. Where he might have gone, or something.”

“I haven’t seen him in days. Volanaro said something about a spell backfiring, making him permanently invisible. Maybe you should go see him about it.”

“Permanently invisible? Does he know a mage named Ancotar?”

Selena gave him a look.

“Yeah, I was just checking. Listen, I didn’t mean what I said before to be about you, specifically. The bag of bones thing. I hope you’re not offended. You have just the right amount of meat on you. I mean, a lot of older women…”

Selena’s brows drew together.

“All right, see you later,” Jerric said, making a hasty retreat. He loped down the stairs toward the living quarters.

A hiss sounded behind him. “Go away! You’ll ruin everything!”

Jerric turned to see Ulfe on the landing, rooting vigorously in the air with her nose.

Permanently invisible. He stuck a hand into his pocket and slipped on the life detection ring. A pink glow blossomed into view. It performed a wild dance fending off Ulfe’s advances.

“J’skar?”

“Hssst!” said the glow. It darted up the stairs and away.

Jerric followed more slowly, pondering his options. Jeanne had requested that he make J’skar reappear, not that he simply locate the missing mage. It occurred to him that the chapter head may know more about the situation than she had let on. Locating the prankster would not solve her whole problem. He put the ring back in his pocket.

Volanaro had moved to a different book case.

Jerric approached him. “You sell spells, right? I’d like to buy a spell of Dispelling. On another person. Can you teach me?”

“Certainly. Are you an accomplished mystic?”

“Uh, no.”

“Then I must inform you that you will certainly fail to learn.”

Jerric scratched his head for a moment. “Do you sell scrolls?”

Volanaro got a crafty look on his face. “Yes, but… I’m afraid I’ve sold out of all my, ah… Scrolls of Dispelling.”

Dammit. Jerric considered using his Arcane Well blessing to outsmart the Altmer. Then he had a thought.

“Elf!” he called, jogging back down to the living quarters. He flailed his arms as he went in case he got lucky. He would like to knock J’skar out of his invisible shoes.

Lildereth was not in the living quarters. Jerric eyed her pack. It was likely she still had the scrolls left over from their trip through Hrotanda Vale. It was also likely that she’d skin him alive if he ransacked her belongings.

Jerric ran back up the stairs and into the supply room. He closed the door behind him.

“Darnand.”

The Breton backed out of a storage crate on his hands and knees. Jerric hauled him to his feet before Ulfe could pounce on him.

He leaned against a barrel while Darnand brushed off his robes. “How’s your day going?”

“Splendidly. I could never have imagined a more engaging pursuit.”

“Have you figured out what’s going on around here?” Jerric grabbed a bottle of brandy off a shelf and opened it for Darnand.

“While we were on the road Arch Mage Traven outlawed the summoning of undead within Guild property.” Darnand took a pull from the bottle. “Jeanne is practicing her new spell.”

“Well, she sucks at it.”

“So one might think.” Darnand passed the brandy. “She has crafted a spell to maximize the benefit per cost in magicka for practice. A longer duration spell requires more magicka and could not be cast as often.”

“Oh,” said Jerric. “So, what’s the situation?”

“I confess I am largely uninformed as to guild politics, but I have learned that the previous chapter head was expelled quite recently under the charge of practicing necromancy. A number of her associates departed with her. Jeanne was appointed to her position before any of the others could make a case for themselves, though they would have been fools to do so. Camilla Lollia is a powerful wizard. She made specific threats against this chapter. I wonder that anyone stayed.”

“Yeah,” said Jerric. “That’s real interesting. But what’s going on with J’skar? Ulfe found him, but he’s invisible. That yellow elf is acting shifty and won’t sell me a dispelling scroll. Do you know if Lildereth has one left from the wards we broke?”

Darnand took the bottle back. “I shall cast a spell for you. But first, please describe exactly what happened when you discovered J’skar’s position.”

As Jerric told the tale Darnand’s face took on his rabid scholar look.

“It sounds as if he is under a chameleon effect!” the Breton exclaimed. “His invisibility should have been broken when he spoke. I might not be strong enough to dispel it. By the Nine, he must be a powerful illusionist! Unusual for a Khajiit. Or perhaps…”

“The goldenrod did it,” Jerric agreed. “I’ll go break his arm. He’ll still have the other one to dispel it with.”

“Wait! Please reconsider. I should like very much to learn that spell.”

Jerric stopped with his hand on the door handle. “All right, I’ll leave Volanaro alone for now. Let me see if I can get my hands on that cat while you talk to the elf. He’s likely bored enough to come snooping.”

“Do not wear your life detection ring until necessary. It is possible that Volanaro could perceive its use.”

They found the high elf in his chamber. If he was contributing in some way to the advancement of magickal knowledge, Jerric couldn’t see how. He kept his eyes on Ulfe while Darnand began to chat with Volanaro. Though the Breton had no fondness for social niceties, he knew how to use them.

With little encouragement the Altmer unburdened himself. “All due respect to our wonderful leader... She couldn’t cast her way out of a paper sack. It’s insulting that we’re here working for her when she knows nothing. She’s managed to butter up the right people just enough to keep her position, and there’s little we can do about it. But we have our ways of coping with the situation.”

Darnand struck an agreeable tone. “Guild leadership is by nature a contradiction. We elevate administrators to our highest ranks while those most worthy of the titles wish most of all to be left alone to their work.”

Ulfe pricked up her ears, Jerric’s cue to use life detection. A slight figure stood at the door, visible only as a mystical glow. Jerric suspected that the hound’s presence kept J’skar from entering the chamber.

“It’s a shame that Selena doesn’t join in our fun,” Volanaro said. “She takes her role as Alchemist very seriously. If…”

Jerric lunged for the glow and got a handful of fabric. In an instant he had his arm across a furry throat and a tail clamped in his fist. “Now!” he called to Darnand.

His friend cast a series of spells in rapid succession, fortifying himself to wage war on the Altmer’s spell. Jerric lost track of the Breton when he felt the sharp prick of claws in a tender place. “Not the lads,” he choked, letting go of the now visible Khajiit.

“You’re no fun at all!” J’skar growled. “It was just a harmless little prank, that’s all. Why did you have to go and ruin it?”

Jerric replied with a manly whimper.

J’skar released his grip. “Fine, go tell Jeanne you found me. I was getting tired of being invisible all the time, anyway.”

Jerric checked himself for damage while Volanaro rubbed his palms together. The elf sounded more excited than upset. “Well, I guess we’ll go back to the drawing board,” he declared.

“If you please,” said Darnand. “I should like to know about the spell you used for this… creative and amusing prank. It is a chameleon effect, is it not? Will you teach it to me?”

The Altmer’s eyes squinted with his sly grin. “I can teach you, but you have to agree to do something for me first. And whatever you do, you can’t tell Jeanne about it. All right?”

Darnand gave Volanaro a go-ahead gesture.

“Heh. Really, you’re going to love this. What you need to do is get into Jeanne’s desk and bring me her Manual of Spellcraft, all right? Her room is upstairs, it should be easy to find. It’s the only one up there that has a door. Just one more privilege she doesn’t deserve. Make sure no one sees you. You do that for me, and I’ll teach you the spell.”

“Are you jesting?” Jerric interrupted. “You’re terrible at this!” He stuck his hand out at J’skar. “You had him invisible for days, and he has cat feet! You could have gotten it your damned selves! What’s wrong with you two?”

Volanaro looked aghast. “We could be suspended for stealing!”

“Kittens.” Jerric got an idea. “Never mind, I’ll do it. Has anyone seen the Bosmer? Otherwise I’ll have to break Jeanne’s desk. I’m guessing she keeps it locked with all of the mysteries at this guild hall.”

“That’s the spirit!” Volanaro cried. “I’ll teach you a spell to unlock things. Just go and unlock Jeanne’s desk, find her manual, and bring it to me.”

Jerric learned the Latch Crack spell before he had a chance to sweat about it. Volanaro was an idler, but he was an outstanding instructor.

“Now turn me invisible,” Jerric said to Volanaro. “Unless you want me to get caught.”

The Altmer appeared to be considering. “Nooo,” he drawled, “getting you caught would be… No.” He frowned at Jerric. “You are asking a lot. I can only cast the chameleon spell once a day or so, and I’m useless afterward. It puts a great strain on me.”

Jerric decided not to address the useless remark. “Do we have a deal, or not?” He hoped that Darnand would pay close attention when the Altmer cast.

Volanaro had not been exaggerating. It took a potion and several preparatory spells before he could cast the chameleon spell at Jerric.

Magicka surged into Jerric in that familiar warm rush. Volanaro got a stunned look on his face. Darnand pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Uh,” said Jerric, looking down at his boots. “I, uh, absorbed it.” He scratched a hand over his head. “It’s not a problem. I have another idea.”

The group moved up to the main level. J’skar stayed behind loitering in the opposite stairwell. He would distract Jeanne with his reappearance if the situation became dire. As little regard as Jerric had for his criminal record, it would not suit the greater purpose to get kicked out of the guild for theft.

Darnand drew Jeanne into the storage room with a question. Jerric walked up the stairs to Jeanne’s chamber, minding his boot heels. It was a moment’s work to retrieve her manual. He drew on Jone’s Shadow as he slipped back down the stairs. His footsteps softened to silence, and his body shimmered away to invisibility.

Volanaro stood in the middle of the empty main hall, leaning forward on his toes in eagerness.

No wonder these jesters are alone with their pranks. Jerric walked up behind Volanaro. When the moment was right he yanked up the high elf’s velvet tunic and stuffed Jeanne’s manual down the front of his leggings. Jerric’s invisibility was ruined, but the blessing’s other attributes got him across the chamber quicker than a wink.

Jeanne strode out of the supply room to find Volanaro gyrating with both hands down his pants. Jerric shared a disgusted look with her at the display.

“J’skar,” Jerric said, indicating the giggling Khajiit out on the landing. Volanaro fled.

Jeanne took J’skar’s reappearance in stride. “You’ve fulfilled your end of the bargain, so now I’ll fulfill mine,” she informed Jerric. “Raminus will have my recommendation. Let’s just keep this incident between us, all right? It might make... a bad impression. And don’t you forget about me once you’ve finished your training! I’m sure we can help each other out!”

Jerric trotted back down the steps to make peace with Volanaro, preparing his speech. He found that Altmeri responded best when he used words he couldn’t spell.

Volanaro was pacing his chamber, chortling over the book. “She won’t figure this out for weeks!” he crowed to Jerric. “Ah, times like this make life worth living. It was a good idea, wasn’t it? I wonder how long she’ll spend trying to figure out where she put it down.”

Jerric had no sympathy for Jeanne. He believed that respect needed to be earned, and the state of the guild hall was a reflection of its leadership. However there was a matter he felt the need to address with his guildmate.

“Volanaro,” Jerric said, “pranks are for your friends. Like insults. Otherwise they’re just bullying or asking for a fight. For example, if Darnand was to suggest that my mother was morally relaxed in her conduct with men, I might simply reply that his mother was of such size that she could employ a sheep as a sanitary aid. If you should venture such an opinion, you would find yourself choking on your nuts while I picked your teeth out of my elbow.”

Volanaro seemed to accept the advice. He folded his hands. “It was an honor to receive your prank, Kjellingsson. It is my hope to someday cast aspersions upon the honor of your mother, and receive disparagements in kind.”

Jerric returned the gesture while he unraveled the Altmer’s meaning. He filed ‘cast aspersions’ in his mind next to ‘impugn.’ “I look forward to that day and leave you with the promise that I shall take the earliest opportunity to denigrate yours.” He grinned. “You yellow fetcher.”

He decided to go back to the Fighters Guild before all this talk gave him a more of headache.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Oh my god! that was hilarious!!!!

I really like how you explained away the empty Guildhall. I had forgotten about that in your last update.

[haute ecole rider]

Hehe hehe

Loved how Ulfe found J'skar! I can just see her sticking her nose in the cat's -- well, privates! Not really pleasant for J'skar!

And what Jerric did with the book is just priceless! Especially the timing of it!

Good to see Jerric back in full form here.

[ghastley]

It didn't happen that way when I last went there! Maybe I should have taken a dog with me; Ulfe does seems to have made all the difference.

Of course Jerric would absorb the spell, but one hopes Darnard learned from the demonstration.

Darnand struck an agreeable tone. “Guild leadership is by nature a contradiction. We elevate administrators to our highest ranks while those most worthy of the titles wish most of all to be left alone to their work.”

- exactly my take, too. I liked Darnand's point that she'd crafted her spell to get the most practice benefit from the magicka use - it's always fun when the game mechanics get into the story line.

[SubRosa]

No doubt she would decant his potions just to count the lumps.
Ewww, he has lumps in his potions? Are they raisins? You like raisins...

I loved the mention of Ancotar. I never thought to make that leap of association before!

I mean, a lot of older women…
This is just what a lot of older women love to hear...

And Ulfe sniffed out J'skar's invisible crotch! Now that is a good pooch.

Oh, I love the backstory on necromancy in the MG chapter, and the news that Jeanne is the replacement for the previous corpseophile chapter head. The threats made by said corpseophile play nicely into later events in the MG questline.

“I’ll go break his arm. He’ll still have the other one to dispel it with.”
And today the part of Jerric will be played by Tony Soprano.

“Not the lads,”
Not Zeus and Apollo! Oh, too much Magnum P.I...

All in all, a hilarious romp through the disaster that is the Bruma Mages Guild hall.

[Acadian]

Yes, a delightful romp through the Bruma MG recommendation quest. Great fun!

‘Jeanne greeted him before the door closed. “Hel-looo, Associate!”
- - Your spelling captured Jeanne’s in-game greeting to perfection!

“Yeah, I was just checking. Listen, I didn’t mean what I said before to be about you, specifically. The bag of bones thing. I hope you’re not offended. You have just the right amount of meat on you. I mean, a lot of older women…”
Selena’s brows drew together.’
- - Eeep! Jerric! Put down the shovel and stop digging your hole deeper!

"Camilla Lollia is a powerful wizard. She made specific threats against this chapter."
Uh oh. I know what happens to the happily dysfunctional family of the Bruma guild hall and hope Camilla’s threats do not play out as they do in game.

“Volanaro,” Jerric said, “pranks are for your friends. Like insults. Otherwise they’re just bullying or asking for a fight. For example, if Darnand was to suggest that my mother was morally relaxed in her conduct with men, I might simply reply that his mother was of such size that she could employ a sheep as a sanitary aid. If you should venture such an opinion, you would find yourself choking on your nuts while I picked your teeth out of my elbow.”
- - This was both clever and spectacularly well-written. I can just imagine how much fun you must have had crafting this passage. Not only is it great advice, but it simply reeks ‘Jerric’ and shows that the Nord really has been paying attention to the fancy words used by Darnand.

[Colonel Mustard]

That was another good chapter, and its resolution was very nicely handled indeed; as Acadian said, Jerric's little passage was very well written. I got a lot of laughs throughout that, and there were some awesome lines in there; "Jerric replied with a manly whimper." had me rolling!

I really liked the hints towards the latter parts of the Mage's Guild quest when the necromancers become a problem, what with Camilla Lollia storming off in a huff, and I'd be very unsurprised if that came up again.