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> The Talendor Chronicles, Part One
Acadian
post Mar 21 2011, 01:46 AM
Post #121


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From: Las Vegas



This was a delightfully 'Talendor' adaptive add on to the quest. Well done. It was fun, well and thoughtfully carried out and made perfect sense.

You have given us a wonderfully interesting Honditar!

So, finally it seems as though Talendor just might make it southward now!


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SubRosa
post Mar 21 2011, 02:16 AM
Post #122


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From: Between The Worlds



Any town that had such a grand tree for its insignia was okay in my book
Spoken like a true wood elf!

lying in the shadow that had fallen over Hackdirt.
Not only a clever turn of phrase in its own right, but also a wonderful ode to the name of the quest associated with Hackdirt!

Talendor shows his hard-earned experience at sneaking, not to mention a rather level head in choosing the path of stealth over just barging in and trying to kill everyone at the ceremony.

Now finally off to Bravil, the jewel of the Niben. I wonder if Talendor will find it to be a city of rustic charms as Buffy and Teresa have, or a festering cesspit as Derelas!



nits:
The ladder was displaying new rungs where it had been bludgeoned.
You have a mix of present and past tenses in this sentence. You might try:
The ladder displayed new rungs where it had been bludgeoned.

I was very careful at remaining noticed by anything living.
I think you meant unnoticed? You might also consider your tenses again, and say something like:
I was very careful to remain unnoticed by anything living.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Mar 21 2011, 02:17 AM


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mALX
post Mar 22 2011, 07:59 PM
Post #123


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From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN



QUOTE

Remembering what they had planned for Dar-Ma whetted my anger. The glowing orb took on a more recognizable shape. A shirtless man with a club at his waist strolled into the chamber. I did not hesitate, and an arrow was through his sternum in a matter of seconds. I marveled at how coldly efficient the shot was.


Great paragraph !!


QUOTE

His eyes opened to their limits when he saw me, as if he couldn’t believe it.


Why was that? Something didn't feel right about his surprise to see his friend return, had he sent Talendor back deliberately thinking he would be killed there? ** mALX's earlier suspicions about Honditar's motives rise to the surface once again **

Wonder what Honditar plans to do with all those books ??? - Great Write !!!


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Olen
post Mar 22 2011, 09:42 PM
Post #124


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I've caught up again. As ever Telandor is a great character and fun to read. I like the Hackdirt quest and you did it well, it was nice to see a little more follow-up, makes me wonder if therre might be even mmore in the future. You've certainly left that option open.

QUOTE
Don’t lose perspective, knot-head!

Whoever cooked this mutton deserves a medal!

I loved these lines, so Telandor. The humor makes this piece what it is.

I liked your description of the 'Scout' ability too - it goes further than the simple in game system which adds realism and life.

Nit:
shadow that had fallen over Hackdirt. It was just as I knew it would be, completely quiet and not a soul to be seen. None of the windows were lit; only the stillness and the shadows greeted - the repetition of shadow jarred me, though the first one was great as SubRosa mentioned.


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TheOtherRick
post Mar 24 2011, 06:23 AM
Post #125


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From: The Heart of Dixie



Author's Note - I have a mixed tidings notification to make. Work has picked up (good for bills, bad for fan-fic time) and I won't be able to be on the site as often as I have been. I will still faithfully read and write as often as possible, but it will be at a slower pace.

@ Dr. Rider - I wanted to do so much more with the possibilities, but my mind was defeating itself with ideas. I was worried that readers would think that I took the easy way out, because I kind of did. I am so glad that you found it plausible.

@ Acadian - Yes indeed, Talendor is headed south! Unfortunately, since I am so far behind in Buffy's story, he will miss the archery tournament. sad.gif

@ SubRosa - Thank you again for being an invaluable editor. Dem nits be picked. wink.gif Stealth seemed the better way to Talendor, lest we give D. Foxy any club waving fodder... tongue.gif

@ mALX - Still seeing imps in Honditar's eyes? Everyone else seems to trust him...but it is good that you wonder what he will do with the books. whistling.gif

@ Olen - The little bugger can't keep his mind on important stuff when food is in front of him. laugh.gif As to the nit, I actually thought of that when I was editing. I decided to leave it because I was calling back to the earlier sentence deliberately.

@ Everyone - Equal thanks to you all for your comments. You all rock! biggrin.gif

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Chapter 22 – Bravil at Last


My heart was racing with excitement as I inventoried my belongings. I was finally going to Bravil! My mind was keeping pace with my pulse. I felt a sense of personal purpose again. I was on an errand for myself now.

That’s it…stay focused…get answers…you’ve done your bit for Chorrol…do some for Talendor now…or whatever your name is…

I would have to make one stop before leaving Chorrol. I had neglected to trade in the old iron shield that I had been toting around ever since I left the sewers. That seemed like ages ago, but truth be told, it had only been a few weeks. Going to see Rasheda again chafed at my urgency, but I was tired of lugging that heavy disc around. All it did was collect dust in my room like some unused paperweight. My switch to a shortsword required a shield for defense, but this thing was too cumbersome. So visiting the smith was necessary.

Since I had to wait for Fire & Steel to open, I decided to use the time for making some poisons. A few minutes later, I was in Angalmo’s corner of the Guild hall. The Altmer was there, reading a list and checking the contents of his shelves.

“Good morning Angalmo,” I greeted him.

“Well, if it isn’t our newest Associate. Is there something I can help you with woodlander?” he replied, glancing from up his list.

“As a matter of fact, there is. I have some time to kill, and I wondered if you might have the ingredients I need to make a few vials of poison?”

“It is likely I do. Will you need the apparatus that you borrowed the other day as well?” he inquired.

“That would be helpful. Here, let me show you what I have,” I said as I pulled the mushrooms from my bag.

“Wisp stalk…ok…I have nightshade, St. John’s Wort, some lotus seeds, and of course, stinkhorn,” he told me. It looked like he was checking the items off on his list as he recited them.

“All of those will work with wisp stalk caps?” I asked.

Angalmo cocked an eyebrow and said, “Do you doubt me?”

“No! Not at all. It’s just that until now, I hadn’t known of lotus seeds and the saint’s warts. By the way, how do you get the warts from Saint John?”

He sighed and said, “Wort, not warts. It’s a plant. St. John’s Wort nectar comes from a yellow flower that is plentiful in these parts.”

“Oh. Well then, I will take enough to use up my wisp stalk then,” I said.

* * *


After returning Angalmo’s equipment, I walked out of the Mages Guild with four new vials of poison. I hadn’t realized that the weather had taken a turn for the worse. A steady rain and some distant lightning dampened my spirits. I did not want to walk to Bravil in the rain. Fire & Steel was open now, and just far enough to have water cascading off of my armor by the time I entered. Rasheda asked me to shake the excess off before I fully entered her shop. She chuckled a bit as I did my best wet dog impression to shed the water.

“I would like to trade this iron wagon wheel of a shield for something a little more suitably sized, please,” I said, letting it rest on its edge with a clank against the stone floor.

“Well, all I have in stock right now is that hardened fur shield,” she replied, pointing to a pitiful looking piece of stretched hide on a shelf.

That thing is gonna break if you look at it too hard…

I sighed and thanked her anyway as I refused the transaction. I walked out of the shop and looked at the water pouring out of the clouds.

Well, you’re one for three this morning…got poisons, but it’s pissing rain and you still have to tote this load of a shield...

Hoping to kill a bit more time and allow the rain to let up, I jogged over to Northern Goods. After all, I did have this ring that was formerly owned by a shirtless freak. Seed-Neeus greeted me with a fond salutation as I walked up the stairs of her shop. Dar-Ma came running into the room and gave me one of her bone-cracking hugs, calling me ‘her hero’ again. I blushed as I tensed up enough to prevent broken ribs. The young lizard could hug like a bear!

“What can I do for you Talendor,” Seed-Neeus asked after Dar-Ma released me.

“I have a ring to sell,” I said. I pulled it from my bag and handed it to her. After holding it up to a candle, she said that it was worth eleven Septims. We closed the deal and I placed the coins in my purse, The Argonian peddler’s eyes went wide.

“You aren’t planning on traveling around with that much money, are you?” she asked.

“Actually, yes, I was,” I replied.

“Might I offer you a suggestion, Talendor? We have a bank, here in Cyrodiil. I actually operate the branch office for Chorrol. You would do well to make a deposit and not carry such a thief’s bounty around with you,” she advised.

“Okay. It’s a bit heavy anyway. I’ll be glad to open an account with you,” I replied.

“I’m afraid that I can’t open accounts here. I can only process transactions for existing accounts. You will have to go to the main office in Imperial City to open one,” she informed me.

“Well, I shall do that the very next time I am there. Thanks for the advice,” I said with a smile, and then bid them farewell.

It was still pouring when I stepped outdoors. Lightning flashed brightly, followed quickly by booming thunder that echoed off the buildings.

There is no way you are leaving for Bravil in this mess…

Disappointed, I trotted through sheets of rain back to the Guild hall. I saw the basement door as soon as I entered and stopped in my tracks. I stood there dripping for a moment, contemplating what was beyond it. An unmistakable voice in a tone like grating gravel startled me back to the moment.

“Associate, close that pneumonia hole!” Teekeeus barked.

“Oh, sorry,” I replied as I closed the door. I looked again at the cellar portal.

You know what’s down there. You can get to Bravil dry as a bone…if you have the stones for it…

I walked down into the basement and found Josie in the Guild Guide room.

“It seems that I am more popular when it’s raining,” the Breton woman said with a sardonic smile.

“So…this thing really is…safe?” I asked with uncertainty, pointing to the dais.

“Yes, yes, yes. I told you…we never have…accidents, any more,” she replied.

“Okay,” I sighed nervously, “How much is it to go to Bravil?”

“Twelve Septims will cover it.”

I paid the fee and stepped up onto the dais.

“Don’t make me crawl out of a cow,” I implored, only half joking.

Josie chuckled and said, “At least that is survivable. The last accident involved a mage materializing several hundred feet in mid –“

There was a blinding flash and a sound I can only describe as what you hear when you open a bottle of ale, only much louder. When the after images faded from my sight, I was standing in a completely different room. A Bosmer looked up from his desk, and then rose to greet me.

“Welcome to Bravil. My name is Furgoth, and before you even ask me…no…I don’t know anybody named Fargoth,” he said to me without a smile.

“Well that makes two of us. I’ve never heard of him either,” I replied, wondering who Fargoth might be.

“Thank Jephre! That saves me all of the responses to, ‘Are you sure?’ or, ‘You look like you could be his brother,’ and all that rot,” he grumbled.

“Could you tell me where I might find the Chapter Steward?” I asked.

“Kud-Ei is upstairs somewhere. Through there,” Furgoth said, pointing to a door directly in front of me.

I walked over to the door and almost broke my face on it when it failed to open.

Furgoth scowled at me and said, “If you cannot open that door, you are not supposed to be here.”

I stared at him stupidly, and then it hit me. I reached into my pocket for the Mages Guild key. A second later I was on the other side and closing the door. Furgoth was the first rude Bosmer I had met that wasn’t trying to kill me. Shrugging, I looked around at the basement. The masonry work was not nearly as clean as what I had seen in Chorrol. The joints were ragged and the stones looked like the masons had used whatever they could find. There was a damp, musty odor and the walls held the sheen of moisture. I saw stairs leading upward to my left. I walked up and entered the lobby of the Bravil Mages Guild.

The very first thing I saw may be what I remember the most. There was an amazingly beautiful Breton woman in a blue velvet dress. Breton ladies as a rule seemed to be attractive. Perhaps it was because they weren’t soooo…tall. But this one stole my breath. I was staring at her and realized she was talking to me.

“…elp you?” entered my hearing.

My mouth snapped shut and I blinked.

Say something knot-head!

“Chapter steward,” I blurted, “Um…the…I’m looking for the Chapter Steward.”

“Okay,” she giggled, “She’s over there,” she said and pointed.

My gaze followed her arm slowly to the finger tip and saw an Argonian sitting on a bench. I turned just as slowly back to her and beheld that face again.

Wow!

“Thank you,” rolled out of my mouth in what seemed like slow motion.

I stood there a moment longer and she giggled again before saying, “She’ll probably speak to you now,” and turned to walk away.

“What is your name?” I asked.

“Delphine,” she said over her shoulder as she left.

Wow!

I walked over to the Argonian on the bench.

I hope she isn’t a hugger…

As I stepped up, the Argonian looked up from reading. She was wearing almost the exact same outfit that Earana wore.

“Good Morning,” I said, “My name is Talendor. I am a new Associate in the Guild. I was hoping to get a letter of recommendation from you.”

“Welcome to the Bravil Guild, Talendor. I am Kud-Ei. When new Associates come through here, there are certain tasks they are required to perform. However, you arrive at an opportune time. I have a problem that is of a more personal nature than what the Guild would have me ask of you. I must warn you beforehand. It is likely to be more dangerous than what the Guild requires. I have offered a reward to have someone else do this, but I have had no takers yet. Your reward would be my recommendation letter. So, I don’t suppose you could help find my friend Henantier, could you?”

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EDIT: Nits picked.

This post has been edited by TheOtherRick: Mar 25 2011, 03:03 AM


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"To Thine Own Self Be True"

The Talendor Chronicles is my first fan fiction attempt.
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mALX
post Mar 24 2011, 03:57 PM
Post #126


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From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN



Talendor's inner dialogue had me roaring !!! He is hilarious!! A great chapter - I was shocked the transport worked, ROFL !!! Oh, I can't wait to see what Talendor does in Bravil, there are so many interesting things he can do in that place, lol. Great Write !!!


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haute ecole rider
post Mar 24 2011, 03:59 PM
Post #127


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From: The place where the Witchhorses play



RL is RL, and this is Chorrol.com. We're used to having RL take over around here. So post when you can, as long as it's good stuff!

I enjoyed Talendor's solution to traveling in the rain. And I can assure you, the back end of a cow is quite survivable. The cow herself can survive having you up her back end (though she won't enjoy it). I speak from considerable experience here. Now horses . . . blink.gif *pow!*

Anyway, so it's off to Henantier, huh? Thanks to the game glitch it's always confusing as to which is the real recommendation quest when you hit Bravil. Is it visiting someone else's dreamland, or listening to bad poetry? I see in your case it appears that a visit to a certain Altmer is in order.

This post has been edited by haute ecole rider: Mar 24 2011, 04:00 PM


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Grits
post Mar 24 2011, 04:46 PM
Post #128


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Joined: 6-November 10
From: The Gold Coast



From Chapter 21:
“So, I have your leave then?” I said with biting sarcasm.

Honditar cast a look at me that I truly deserved. The Altmer had helped me more often than not, and I had no true reason to speak to him that way.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I am just so frayed.


This is so Talendor, and a perfect example of why I find him so endearing. And now I get it, Honditar is a rare book dealer! tongue.gif You have left yourself plenty of room to return to Hackdirt, if you’d like. Or, Honditar is tight-lipped enough to never mention it again.

From Chapter 22:
I had to chuckle at making potions while waiting for Rasheda to open her shop. It seems like I always have to wait for her in the game. Cyrodiil banking is a great addition.

I walked over to the door and almost broke my face on it when it failed to open.

Another perfect Talendor moment. I have a door that sometimes fails to unlatch when the knob is turned. I can’t count the times I have almost broken my face on it! Henceforth I will think of it as the Talen-door. laugh.gif

The encounter with Delphine was priceless. Thankfully Kud-Ei didn’t hug him and further wreck his composure!!


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SubRosa
post Mar 24 2011, 05:33 PM
Post #129


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Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



As others have said, the humor you interject into Talendor's view of the world is delightful! Shaking like a wet dog indeed!

no…I don’t know anybody named Fargoth
Excellent poke at Morrowind!

I see Talendor was just as taken in by Delphine's elegance as Teresa was! I do not blame him. She certainly knows how to dress!


nits:
St. Jahn’s Wort
This was a typo by Bethesda, it is really St. John’s Wort


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ghastley
post Mar 24 2011, 09:58 PM
Post #130


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UOP fixes the spelling of the flower, so I haven't seen it that way for a long time.

I was a bit confused as to why Talendor carried the iron shield away from Fire and Steel, instead of just selling it. If he's not going to use it, even a poor price is still some gold and less burden. I saw the My switch to a shortsword required a shield for defense, but this thing was too cumbersome note, but I got the impression that he'd decided the latter part overwhelmed the former. May need a bit more of his thought process added to explain why he decided to keep it anyway.

If Delphine makes her enemies explode, what excesses does she inflict on her friends? Will Talendor find out? Will he survive?


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Mods for Oblivion and now Daggerfall and Skyrim. Fan fiction, too, and I play ESO.
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Olen
post Mar 25 2011, 12:49 AM
Post #131


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Good part, I like the little changes you're making to the game, they make it make more sense. And the Furgoth/Fargoth jab was brilliant. As is the inclusion of guild-guides - if they had them in Morrowind why not in Cyrodiil?

Having the recommendantion to do with Henantier is also a good move. The actual recommendation is a dull dull quest, while the nightmare is brilliant. And again why wouldn't Kud-ei ask someone for help. I'm certainly looking forward to Telandor doing that quest, should be hilarious. Once you have time of course (RL and bills are irritating beasts).


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Acadian
post Mar 25 2011, 01:47 AM
Post #132


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From: Las Vegas



'The young lizard could hug like a bear!'
Oh, that's our beautiful Dar-Ma!

I applaud your decision to use a bank. Along with your guild guides, it shows your growing comfort in changing our wonderful Cyodiil in very reasonable ways to suit your needs.

“Associate, close that pneumonia hole!” Teekeeus barked.'
Heehee! Didn't Talasma's lessons take?

The position of guild guide allows you to potentially introduce a new guild member at each chapter. Furgoth was a wonderful creation for Bravil! Speaking of whom:
'Furgoth was the first rude Bosmer I had met that wasn’t trying to kill me.'
I know you're new to this Bosmer business, but take it from your Bosmeri sister: You're exactly right. Rude Bosmers (that aren't trying to kill you) are indeed wonderfully rare!

Delphine! What a wonderful choice of a woman for Talendor to be smitten by! She's simply electrifying. She can rock your world and make you see stars, sparks, fire and ice - all at the same time!

Nit:
'Rasheda asked me the shake the excess off before I fully entered her shop.'
Switch the first 'the' to a 'to' and she'll be right!


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TheOtherRick
post Apr 15 2011, 02:58 AM
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Author's Note - I am posting a short chapter to keep the thread alive. As you have noticed and heard, work has consumed almost every minute my time. Posting will be sporadic at best, but I will not let the story die. Thanks for the patience.

@ mALX - Talendor was shocked as well...it will not be his prefered mode of travel.

@ Dr. Rider - I'm not sure I want to know the experience you speak from regarding bovine sphincter survivability. blink.gif laugh.gif Thanks for the "it's cool" regarding my bout with RL.

@ Grits - Talen-door! laugh.gif Now THAT'S funny! Oh, and Honditar is not a rare book dealer, but that's all I will say about that...

@ SubRosa - I wish I could take credit for the Fargoth line. The mod that adds the Guild Guides also adds the operators, and Furgoth actually says that in the game. It was too priceless not to use.

@ ghastley - I also have the UOP, but I hadn't noticed that it corrected the spelling. I assumed that it was spelled that way on purpose. I did go ahead and change it in the text though.

@ Olen - See comment to SubRosa regarding Furgoth. I agree...the mod creator was inspired with that piece of wit. I am glad you agree about the recommendation quest. You are right, the other one is just BORING!

@ Acadian - Nit fixed and thanks for catching it. The bank and the Guild Guides are both excellent mods. I also use a mod that gives coins weight towards encumbrance, making the bank mod even more necessary. The Guild Guide mod also adds coaches and ships for travel. I abhor the in game "fast travel".

@ All of you - Thanks again for your comments, support, and especially now...your patience.

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Chapter 23 – Food Before Business


Fortune was with me yet again. I had come to Bravil to get my next recommendation and meet a fellow named Henantier. It turns out that I could kill two deer with the same arrow. Getting settled onto a room first would be better, and I needed some food. I mentioned this to Kud-Ei.

“Of course, Associate. By all means,” the Argonian mage said, gesturing toward the stairwell, “Head up to the second floor and chose any room that is unoccupied. It is just about midday, so you can join us for some lunch once you are unpacked.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” I said with a slight bow. Kud-Ei sure was a lot nicer than her counterpart in Chorrol.

Maybe it’s only the Argonian males that are cranky…

When I reached the door at the top of the stairs, I repeated the same face bruising door collision that I had performed in the basement. This time I smacked my head hard enough to see stars. “OUCH!” I yelped, rubbing my forehead as I fished out my key. There was a giggle coming from the bottom of the stairs and I turned to see Delphine looking up at me with a huge grin.

“The door opens a lot easier if you unlock it first, Associate,” she said with that angelic voice, then giggled some more as she walked away.

You are really making an impression…Way to go, knot-head!

Once I was beyond the wooden source of further embarrassment, I went to the first closed door that I saw. I tried the knob first to avoid a third goose-egg on my noggin. It was unlocked.

Of course…It would only have been locked if you hadn’t checked first…

The room wasn’t nearly as nice as the one I stayed in at the Chorrol Mages Guild. There was no window, and the musty odor attested to a lack of airflow and sunlight. At least this one had a door. I unpacked my belongings and stored them in the available chest and cupboard. Shedding my armor, I washed and changed into more suitable clothing for a lunch with Kud-Ei.

The dining area was in a corner of the first floor. A knee wall bordered one side and afforded a view of anyone that entered the Guild hall. Kud-Ei, Delphine, and another mage were seated around the table. They suddenly stopped talking when I walked in and I felt my face warm up when Delphine looked at me. Kud-Ei stood and welcomed me.

“Talendor, please join us for some lunch. Allow me to introduce you. This is Delphine Jend, Evoker and advanced trainer in the School of Destruction,” the Argonian said. Delphine smiled and nodded, turning up the heat behind my cheeks. “And this is Ardaline, also an Evoker and our resident Alchemist here at the Bravil Guild.”

“A pleasure to meet you Talendor,” Ardaline said. She was Altmer. Slim figured and golden skinned with shoulder length blond hair.

“Thank you and likewise to you both,” I replied with a shallow bow before I sat.

If the surroundings didn’t equal the comfortable warmth of the Chorrol Guild hall, the food certainly appeared to exceed it. There were two pot pies, both with slices missing, in the center of the table. The aroma had my mouth watering. I reached for the closer one and placed a slice on my plate. I also helped myself to some tomato, cucumber, and onion salad that was drenched in vinegar and olive oil. I took a bite of the pie and closed my eyes as I chewed. It was to die for! My taste buds were dazzled by tender beef with leeks and mushrooms embraced by thick savory gravy. The pie crust was perfect as well. When I opened my eyes, all three women were staring at me.

“What?” I said around a half full mouth of food.

“You might want to heal yourself and bring that knot on your head down a bit,” Ardaline replied, and all three chuckled.

My face heated up again as I felt the bump on my forehead. I cast a healing spell as quickly as I could and reduced the swelling.

“So, how long have you been in the Guild?” Delphine asked me as I took another bite of the pie. I chewed and raised a finger to indicate I would answer in a moment.

I hope my face isn’t as red as it feels…

“Just over a week or so now,” I replied, “I am here to get a letter of recommendation for entrance to the Arcane University. Then I am likely to go to Leyawiin next. From there, I don’t know yet.” I turned to Kud-Ei and continued, “Where should I start looking for Henantier?”

Delphine and Ardaline both suddenly looked down and ate a bite of food. Kud-Ei just stared at me. After a moment, she said, “I would prefer to discuss this matter with you privately. Please enjoy your meal and find me when you have finished.”

With that, Kud-Ei excused herself and left the room. I looked back at the other two women and caught them exchanging knowing glances.

“Did I say something wrong?” I asked. Neither one said anything at first. Finally, Ardaline broke the awkward silence.

“It would not be right for us to speak on this. Best that you wait and let Kud-Ei tell you whatever she feels you might need to know,” she said and Delphine nodded in agreement.

Are you ever going to learn how to censor your tongue?

“I hope I didn’t make her mad. It seems like I have a knack for irritating Chapter Stewards,” I sighed. I downed another bite of the pie and chewed on it, along with my thoughts.

“Don’t worry, Talendor,” Delphine said, “Kud-Ei is not easily angered, unless you mess with one of her girls. That’s what she calls us…’her girls’. She is very much like a mother to us. I’m sure everything will be just fine.” Then she turned to Ardaline and said, “Speaking of ‘messing with the girls’, how goes your issue with Varon?”

“Ugh…don’t get me started,” Ardaline spat with a scowl, “I am sure he took it. I spoke to Kud-Ei about it. She said that she would have someone look into it.”

I started to ask what they were talking about, but stopped myself.

Stow it…None of your business…

I filled my mouth with salad instead. After the last bite of my food was gone, I washed it down with some wine. As I leaned back and rubbed my belly, I opened my mouth to ask who had prepared this wonderful food. But instead of words, a silence shattering belch roared out of my throat. The two women stared at me with their mouths agape. Once again, my face felt like a furnace.

“Excuse me…”

You really know how to turn on the charm…

They stared a second longer and then burst out laughing. It was that contagious kind of laugh that sucks you right into it, and soon all three of us were holding our sides. When it died to just chuckles, Delphine said, “You are just too cute for words, Talendor. I believe that having you around is going to be enjoyable. We’ll get your dishes; you should go and see Kud-Ei now.”

“Thanks. It has been a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you again soon,” I replied with a smile and left to find the Chapter Steward.



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"To Thine Own Self Be True"

The Talendor Chronicles is my first fan fiction attempt.
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haute ecole rider
post Apr 15 2011, 03:05 AM
Post #134


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Talendor, time you got a big axe to kill those uncooperative doors! I hear Kurdan gro-Dragol has one available. tongue.gif

Talendor's mishaps in charming the ladies of the Bravil Guild are quite fun! And yes, I agree with Delphine, he is just too adorable! I heard that belch all the way over here in Illinois!

And I see you are continuing the Chorrol tradition of feeding your readers. goodjob.gif


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mALX
post Apr 15 2011, 03:17 AM
Post #135


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Rick, I'm going to come back tomorrow and read this - just too tired tonight to focus, and I don't want to miss any of Talendor's great funny lines !!!


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Olen
post Apr 15 2011, 11:10 AM
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Heh, the dangers of a guildhall: doors, food and all those little things all the locals know but which aren't really spoken about. You got the last bit spot on with his arriving at a new place and saying the wrong things. Very Telandor and rather funny.

Nice difference between the guildhalls too, I culd really smell the damp stale air in the room. But the company seems to be better.

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“You might want to heal yourself and bring that knot on your head down a bit,”

Nice everyday use of magic there - it makes sense people would use it like that.

And that pie sounds good.


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Look behind you and see an ever decreasing number of ghosts. Currently about 15.
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SubRosa
post Apr 15 2011, 04:28 PM
Post #137


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kill two deer with the same arrow
While Teresa abhors the idea of killing deer, I do enjoy the very Bosmer-centered twist on this old phrase. goodjob.gif

I see that Derelas is not the only Bosmer who has trouble with doors! A very amusing encounter between Talendor and the second floor door!

Kud-Ei is indeed a much nicer person to deal with than Teekeus. Come to think of it, the Argonian females usually are much more pleasant than the men. At least the ones who don't leave raw meat outside your house in the hope of coaxing lions inside...

Plus a tasty meal. You are indeed following the Chorrol tradition of feeding your readers well! Quite an excellent opportunity for Talendor to turn on the charm as well! biggrin.gif It was quite nice to meet the girls for dinner. I wonder if he will be going to meet Varon Vamori after first paying a visit to Henantier...

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Apr 15 2011, 11:09 PM


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mALX
post Apr 15 2011, 10:22 PM
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This chapter was perfect and charming !!! Talendor's obvious distraction with the meal throughout the chapter was hilarious the way you wrote it, cramming in bites steadily and raising his finger to swallow before answering - you had me rolling with this chapter !!! The Pièce de résistance was the loud belch at the end (to add proof to the fact that he shoveled it in so fast that he sucked in air with each bite, ROFL !!!)

I absolutely loved this chapter !!!! (and your subtle weaving of the humor through it) !!!

This post has been edited by mALX: Apr 15 2011, 10:25 PM


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Grits
post May 3 2011, 07:13 PM
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Delphine said it, Talendor is too cute for words. wub.gif The knowing glances around the table spoke volumes. While RL has you occupied, it’s nice to know that Talendor is comfortable in Bravil enjoying pleasant company. smile.gif


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RainbowVeins
post Jun 27 2012, 05:03 AM
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Wow, looks like I'm a little late to the party. Just dropping in to let you know you have another reader, and I've loved every minute of Talendor's journey so far. I have to agree with everyone else here who adores your Bosmer and his antics. Seriously, too cute. I'll check back every so often for new stuff. Great write! smile.gif


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