The Talendor Chronicles, Part One Options

[SubRosa]

First off, excellent title!

“What is earana?” I blurted,
I just love the bubbly nature you have infused Talendor with. You take all the fun and adorable qualities of the Bosmer men in the game and distill them into him (plus leave the crazy parts behind). It makes me imagine Valenwood must be a lively, fun place to live!

Talk about the luck of Zeni-whozawatzit!
I love this!

I have changed the conditions for my recommendation! Pray to The Nine that I don’t refuse it altogether, tree-hugger.
Yes Lord Vader! We shall redouble our efforts!

You have taken one of the more dull MG fetch and carry quests and breathed all new life into it, not to mention an entirely new dimension by throwing Honditar into the mix! I have always wondered who was really worse, Teekeeus or Earana. Who of the pair was really just, and who was not? Earana is haughty in her manner, but she plays straight with you if you take her up on her offer. Teekeeus is also unpleasant, and wants you to steal the book from her if you give it to her, and threatens you with your recommendation if you do not. It would be interesting to see a short story from her point of view.

Now we have Honditar in the mix as well! I wonder if he is thinking that neither Teekeeus or Earana can be trusted with the book?

[ghastley]

But when you give the book to Teekeus, Earana wants you to steal it for her, so does this mean giving it to Teekeus, stealing it back, giving it to Earana, stealing it back, and then giving to Honditar (and then stealing it back?)

I think I need to lose my memory, or just the confused part of it.

[haute ecole rider]

I agree, throwing Honditar into the mix puts an unexpected twist on a dusty old story. Wow - now my mind is doing this trying to figure out his motives. Are we now going to see the Altmeri stereotype when H gets his hands on that book? Or does he have non-Altmer motives? When a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Argh!

Don't leave us hanging too long on this.

It's funny that I should be reading this now that I'm done writing this recommendation. My version isn't quite as fun as yours, though.

[Thomas Kaira]

Uh oh... you are a devious one, Rick! When I saw Honditar's request, I believe my skull blasted out of my mind!

I can't wait to see what you have in store for us here. I hope you don't have to brutally murder Earana as now two people (myself included) have on this board. Three's a crowd, after all.

I also like Teekeus's little slip of tongue... I believe there are now ideas building in my mind... dastardly ideas.... Wait, did I just say that out loud?

Nit:

“No, I do not. It seems that would { } the first order of your task. When you find her, determine what it is that she is after, and how we may be rid of her. I do not want her here, spreading her lies. Make haste, Associate, I wish to be rid of Earana as soon as possible. Now go,” Teekeeus said and walked away.

I think there's a word missing here, that sentence seemed incomplete.

[mALX]

Do not interrupt me, Associate!” Teekeeus barked,

NO!” she said abruptly, “I mean…there is no need to involve your Guild in this matter. Better if it was kept between just between us.

Pray to The Nine that I don’t refuse it altogether, tree-hugger. You will do as you are told!

bring the book back to me...I mean...to the Guild, where it belongs,”

Steal it? Steal it? You want me to steal from the Chapter Steward? I might as well just resign and join the Fighters Guild. Wait, I hear they don’t take criminals---”

ROFL !!! OMG, your rendition of Teekeeus had me rolling !!! My fave lines quoted - Love this chapter, it is my all time top fave so far !!!

This post has been edited by mALX: Mar 1 2011, 10:00 PM

[Olen]

Well I read this one and I'm glad I did. The first few sections were a little daunting but I'm glad I persevered, this is good. Talendor is an excellent character, his amnesia is an unusual plot device (it put me off slightly initially) but it's really worked well. You've developed him through his actions letting them define him rather than his past, and you've developed him a lot, he's a very rounded character for the among you've written about him. I suspect he's at least somewhat based on a real person(s), either way he's a strong character with realistic weaknesses and strengths.

A list of comments I noted down as I read over it:

1.2: 'At least THAT much looks normal, just too small.' - it's lines like this which make this piece, it's such an accurate observation of male thought patterns.

2 - His confusion was well written and again really formed his character well.

3 - Another feature of this piece I enjoy, his thoughts. This time on the beast races. They're really funny and incisive.

4 - This part (and subsequently) was noticeably cleaner than the earlier parts with fewer tense issues and clunky phrases. His naming himself through requirement was interesting, something which might have been profound forced through circumstance...

5 - Picking up a living (hunting in this case) isn't as easy as it looks or everyone would do it. Nice bit of accuracy from a world-building perspective.

6 - the moral struggle was good though a little quick for my tastes... nice touch there though, says more about Talendor's character (as almost everything does).

8 - Opening to Honditar was a bold move, but it fits with Talendor's character. By this stage he's really taken shape and is great fun to read.

9 - 'Stopping to pick locks might be hazardous to my health', I enjoyed this line.

11 - Not being constrained by gameplay mechanics is good for a story. What works in a game doesn't always make sense in fiction so I liked his letting the bandit go.

13 - The dream sequence was good, it gives a hook to hold the piece together. I enjoyed the mages guild, your vision of the game world is quite different from mine and refreshing.

15 - Your introduction to magic is good. I also loved the phrase ''This should smooth Teekeeus’ scales' , very lore friendly.

It's a good piece, I like his character and thoughts a lot. My main critique would be from a style point of view you have the occasional sentence in a peculiar tense (I'll point out the next I see), and things are a little morally black and white, though that's part of his character so not really an issue (and is very much a personal taste thing).

[TheOtherRick]

@ Everyone - Thank you all so much for every comment and critique. This is still a little nerve-racking because it is so new to me. Your support is what keeps me going.

@ SubRosa - I didn't even realize that I had paraphrased a Star Wars line until I read your comment, and that comment had me rolling! Glad you got a kick out of the title.

@ ghastley - But what do I do now when I am supposed to do this and I do that instead and then...and then....and...

@ h.e.rider - I'm glad so many were surprised by the curve ball. The end result, just like a curve ball, will either be a swing and a miss or a home run...TBD

@ Chef Thomas - Thanks for the nit catch...picked. I'll give a lil spoiler and tell you that there will not be a crowd.

@ mALX - Glad I was able to rouse another ROLF....I'm gonna keep gunning for a SPEW though...

@ olen - Thanks for joining in and my apologies for the epic lengths of the first few posts. Rookie mistakes that were corrected with the aid and guidance of Acadian and mALX. I really appreciate your critiques and compliments on the first 15 chapters. Because I am so new to this, your input will be invaluable.

--------------------

Chapter 16 – To Cloud Top and Back

Honditar’s mark was north of Chorrol, just as Earana had said. It looked like a pretty good distance, so I stopped in at The Oak & Crosier for some additional provisions before heading out the north gate. Not far after leaving the town, a pathway split off to the north while the main road continued east. I followed the path and shortly the land began to rise. A series of switchbacks helped the path to gain elevation. Someone had even gone to the trouble of building some wooden stairs at a particularly steep portion.

Just past the stairs was a suspension bridge made of wood and rope. It appeared to be in good condition, but I still crossed gingerly, holding the rope rail and ready to grab it if something broke. About halfway across, I stopped and looked to my right. I was awestruck by the view. I could even see the tower of the Imperial Palace from here. With the sun beginning to set, it had a golden cast to it against the purple mountains on the eastern horizon. The sight was breathtaking.

Beyond the bridge, switchbacks became more frequent as the path struggled to climb. I stopped and crouched as movement caught my eye at one of the bends. A wolf was coming around the turn and hadn’t noticed me yet. I removed a vial of poison and applied it to an arrowhead. As the wolf was struck by my anointed arrow, it seemed to gain a green aura. The beast fell and lay motionless halfway through its charge toward me. I walked over to it and assumed that the green I had seen must have been my eyes playing tricks on me. The wolf looked normal now, except for the new appendage protruding from its chest. I used my dagger to skin it, placing the pelt in my pouch and dragging the carcass off of the path.

A bit further up the path, I wasn’t so lucky as to see my next assailant before it saw me. I had just rounded yet another switchback when a blur of silver fury knocked me off of my feet. I wasn’t able to regain my footing in time to prevent a second onslaught from the wolf. He leaped at me and I got my arm up just in time to prevent his jaws from closing on my throat. We began to roll downhill along the path, an odd boulder of silver fur and brown leather. I struggled to keep the wolf from biting areas more vulnerable than my arm as we gained momentum. Suddenly, we hit a large rock where the trail had made a bend. The wolf began howling in pain and broke off the attack. He made a couple circles as he yelped, trying not to stand on his broken leg. This gave me time to draw my sword, but the wolf seemed to think better of pressing the attack in his wounded condition. He took off through the brush, giving more yelps every time he put too much weight on his shattered limb.

I inhaled sharply through clenched teeth as I examined my forearm. Blood had begun to drip from my fingertips. I cast the healing spell twice, stopping the bleeding. It took me a few minutes to find my satchel. It had been flung off during our display of gravity in action. Luckily, all of my possessions were still in the bag. The only other casualties of the encounter were a few of my arrows that had snapped as we tumbled.

I finally reached the end of the path as the sun was casting its final light before ducking behind the mountains. The ruins of Cloud Top weren’t large. There was area of overgrown pavers, roughly square in shape. Ruined stone pillars were set at each corner and what appeared to be the remnant of a campfire was between the two closest pillars. It seemed an unlikely place to find a book. As I approached the extinguished campfire, it began to take on a ghastly shape. It was a charred corpse, burned so badly that I couldn’t tell if it had been man or mer. All I knew for certain was that it was too large to have been a Bosmer.

I searched the ruin and discovered a chest. Grinning to myself, I quickly opened it, only to have the grin wiped away when I did not find a book. All it contained were three coins and a crystal ball. I kept the contents and continued to search. After checking every nook and cranny, I squatted with my back against a broken pillar set in the center of the ruins. I looked at the corpse.

“Hey fella, you haven’t seen a book lying around have you?” I asked the charred body.

I got up and walked toward it. Its arms were clasped across its chest. Closer inspection revealed that there was something clutched under its arms. I bent down to check and was amazed to see it was a book. I pulled it away, trying to ignore the sound of charred flesh separating from its frame. I brushed it off and my eyes widened as I realized that the book hadn’t even been singed. I couldn’t read the title, but that didn’t surprise me because Earana had said as much. This had to be the book though, so I put it in my satchel and stood up.

The sun had passed below the peaks in the distance. The sky was a splash of vivid color, bright orange at the horizon, fading through pinks and purples into a deep blue that promised the arrival of stars. High clouds had grabbed some of the pink and held onto it, as if they refused to let the day go. Since there was level ground and shelter from the wind, I decided to camp here and head back to Chorrol in the morning. I figured that Mr. Crispy wouldn’t mind, and if he was frightened or offended by the campfire I built, he kept those opinions to himself.

After a very satisfying meal, I lay on my bedroll and looked at the stars. For the first time since my adventure began, I was treated to the sight of Nirn’s two moons. They looked close enough to touch if I stood up. It was with this celestial showcase that I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

* * *

When I awoke shortly after dawn, my overcooked campmate was still staring eyeless at the sky. After breakfast, I considered moving the body into the brush. I certainly wasn’t going to bury it, but placing it out of view had somehow seemed the decent thing to do. I grabbed its hands to drag it away and they immediately snapped off at the wrist with a crackling sound that turned my stomach. Disgusted, I threw the hands into the brush. It seemed that the heat from whatever had burned this poor fellow actually fused the body to the pavers under it. Rather than carry roasted chunks to the bushes all morning, I decided that ravens or other scavengers could have all the fun.

Judging from the sun, it was about eight o’clock when I started the descent from Cloud Top. During the climb yesterday, I had my back to the view when I wasn’t busy fighting off wolves. Now it seemed I could see half of Cyrodiil on my return trip. The view was spectacular. The trees were mostly evergreens up here, and the grass had a golden hue compared to the meadow grasses down in the Great Forest. Firs, pines and spruce ruled the skies, while mountain laurel and holly fought for the sun along the forest floor.

I had pulled my bow and kept an arrow nocked after I discovered that the wolf carcass from the day before had been dragged away. Whatever had moved it might prefer some warmer, fresher blood. But the walk down the mountain passed without incident. Soon I was within the sight of the Chorrol town walls. As I entered the town gate, I heard the thrum of a bowstring and looked to my right. Honditar was at the targets behind the Fighters Guild. He saw me at the same time and motioned for me to join him.

“You’re going to have a tough time getting in the Guild hall. Earana has been camped in front of the building since dawn,” the Altmer said.

“I don’t know if there is a back door,” I replied.

“There is not. But listen. I’ll go out and run interference for you. Wait until I have her standing with her back to the door, then you sneak in unnoticed. The woman is such a fuss-bucket that I should be able to keep her engaged until you come back out of the hall. Just wave to me through the window when you are ready to exit,” he explained.

“Okay.”

The plan worked like a charm, and I was inside the hall looking for Teekeeus a few minutes later. I found him in the dining area and sat down in the chair next to his.

“How was your trip to Cloud Top, Associate?” the Chapter Steward inquired.

“Successful, sir,” I replied.

“You found the book?” he said with wide eyes, “My trust in you was well placed, it seems. Hand it over, if you please.”

I dug the book out of my satchel and handed it to Teekeeus.

“Ah yes, this is indeed the correct book,” he said with what looked like glee. It’s hard to read Argonian facial expressions. “You’ve not been able to open it I presume.”

“I didn’t even try. Earana said I wouldn’t be able to read it anyway, and since I couldn’t rea---“

“Yes, yes, yes…Fine. You have shown yourself worthy of the Guild, and for that I shall give you the recommendation that you require. Follow me, Associate,” he said and rose from the table.

I followed Teekeeus downstairs to the counter in the main lobby. He pulled out some parchment, a quill and ink, and a small cube of red wax. He wrote his recommendation, and then folded the paper in such a way that the bottom edge was centered between the two folds. He placed the small wax cube on that edge and then melted it with a well controlled and very small fireball spell, stamping the melted wax with a large ring on his left hand and sealing the letter. The ring left an imprint of the stylized eye that is recognizable as the Mages Guild symbol. My jaw was slack with amazement at the control he just exhibited. Had I tried that, there would have been only ashes instead of my paperwork, if not a charred counter as well.

“Here you are, Associate,” he said as he handed it to me, “Now you must excuse me. I must ensure that this book is kept safe.”

Now for the hard part…following him without being obvious...

--------------------

EDIT: Nits picked.

This post has been edited by TheOtherRick: Mar 4 2011, 07:10 PM

[SubRosa]

I love the walk from Chorrol to Cloud Top. It is the best part of this quest.

High clouds had grabbed some of the pink and held onto it, as if they refused to let the day go.
Was a lovely description.

An excellent description of Cloud Top, especially of the campfire that was not! Talendor prying the book from the charred corpse's dry, dead hands was a good touch, and a warning of things to come!

The part about Honditar running interference with Earana made me chuckle inside. It seems that he is always talking to her when I go there in the game.


nits:
I stopped and crouched as movement caught my eye at one of the bends. A wolf was rounding the bend and hadn’t noticed me yet.
It is minor, and not a real problem, but you do have bend twice in close proximity. You might consider changing the second instance to something like corner, or turn.


I searched the ruin and discovered a chest. With a grin, I opened the chest, only to have the grin wiped away when I did not find a book.
Same thing here with chest. You might change the second time to it.

“Ah yes, this is indeed the correct book,” he said with what looked like glee, it’s hard to read Argonian facial expressions, “You’ve not been able to open it I presume.”
This is a very long sentence. You might break it up into two or three sentences. For example:
“Ah yes, this is indeed the correct book.” It was hard to read Argonian facial expressions, but Teekeus looked delighted. “You’ve not been able to open it I presume?”

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Mar 4 2011, 02:35 AM

[haute ecole rider]

I had just written this quest last week! It seems you and I both noticed the same things, but Julian and Talendor were looking at different things. Still it's fun to read something like this so soon after I had written it.

And yes, I agree with Sage Rose, Honditar is always talking to Earana. When does he ever find the time to go hunting? Some mountain man!

Loved your descriptions of the day, especially of the tumble with the wolf and of Mr. Crispy.

I did have a few nits:

I struggled to keep the wolf from biting areas more lethal than my arm as we gained momentum.

I had a bit of confusion with the term lethal in this context. To me, lethal is a very aggressive term -- it describes the modified subject as being capable of inflicting death. But in this context, you're telling me that the wolf is not able to inflict a more deadly bite than a nip on the arm. Using lethal here just kind of sits wrong with me - it feels like it's trying to make the arm into a deadly weapon that could hurt the wolf, rather than the other way around. May I suggest a more passive term like vulnerable?

Oh, and it's anointed, not annointed.

And

I gave a sharp inhale through clenched teeth as I examined my forearm.

Inhale is a verb, inhalation is the noun you want here.

Again, I continue to enjoy the depth of detail you're giving the Chorrol Mages Guild. Well done!

[ghastley]

Once again a fight where the loser runs away. If you're changing the rules, I'm pleased to see you stick with the new ones.

And Teekeeus has a black belt in Origami? Not to mention precision wax-melting. (No wonder Chorrol isn't the Destruction academy for the Mages Guild). Nice detail to point up his advanced skills that make him chapter head material. He consistently summons low-level scamps in the hall, which always reminds me of Jeanne Frasoric, who is not in the same league.

[Grits]

Oh, how I love Cloud Top! That trail is sure a bad place to get knocked over by a wolf.

I figured that Mr. Crispy wouldn’t mind, and if he was frightened or offended by the campfire I built, he kept those opinions to himself.

I enjoyed Talendor’s irreverent thoughts about his crunchy companion.

[Olen]

Good part. Fun to read as ever.

I figured that Mr. Crispy wouldn’t mind
<sinp>
my overcooked campmate

More entertaining observations from a certain bosmer... His inner thoughts do wonders for his character.

melted it with a well controlled and very small fireball spell

I liked this, you stay quite true to the game world but subtle changes like this make it richer. Control is going to be harder than raw power, but equally the game would have little use for it, fiction on the other hand...

[ureniashtram]

He-hey! Umm.. Let's just say that I'm awkward like a schoolgirl when put into introductions!

Have followed Talendor's story from the Prison to this! (I may not comment much, but I read all the same!) All I can say is that I can only hope to aspire to have a writing such as yours! I mean seriously, the way you describe the sight Talendor witnessed when ascending to Cloud Top.. Amazing!

Awaiting the next chapter with eagerness!

[TheOtherRick]

@ SubRosa - Thank you for catching the nits...they've been picked. Honditar and Earana do indeed make writing that into the story very easy. I think he secretly has the hots for her...

@ h.e.rider - Thanks to you as well for the nits...they've also been picked. Between you and Rosa, we'll make a writer out of me yet! I have only scratched the bare surface of your story so far, but I think I might have to do a spoiler read and check out what you wrote for this quest. I am intensely curious...

@ ghastley - Perhaps Teekeeus wants the book to make swans and cranes out of it's pages.

@ Grits - Talendor recommends that future travelers don't attempt tumbling with wolves. He could also use a lesson in respect for the deceased...

@ Olen - It seemed only natural that a master of a craft should be able to use it deftly. I'm glad you found that "step-out" from game mechanics plausable.

@ ureniashtram - Welcome aboard and thank you for your comments.

On that note....I want to thank everyone else as well. As always, you are the ones that keep me going. I especially appreciate the nits. They are invaluable for the learning process.

--------------------

Chapter 17 – Something Stolen and Someone Missing

“I am off to my room as well. I need a wash and a change of clothes,” I said, following Teekeeus up the stairs.

The Argonian passed through the library and continued up the stairs to the sleeping quarters on the next level. As I entered the foyer on the third floor, I saw Teekeeus enter the corner room. I walked on past, making it appear that I was heading to my room. I stopped and placed my back to the wall as soon as I rounded the corner and listened. Moments later, I was rewarded with the sound of his door opening and closing, and then the doorway to the stairs mimicking his door. I peeked back around the corner, making sure no one else was about.

Quick and quiet knot-head…let’s not get caught…

I was surprised to find the door to his room unlocked. I snuck in and quietly closed it behind me. Immediately to my right was a cupboard. I tried the doors and found them unlocked. The cupboard shelves had been removed and it was being used as a wardrobe. Fine clothing hung on pegs, but no book was to be found. I moved to a chest that was next to the cupboard. Once again, I found the container unlocked. I opened it and was pleased to see the book in plain sight at the bottom of the chest.

Someone needs to show our Chapter Steward how a lock works…

I took the book and retreated from Teekeeus’ quarters as quietly as I had entered. Once I was back in my room, I quickly washed and changed. Taking my satchel with me, I headed downstairs. When I reached the lobby, I looked out the window to see if Earana was still waiting outside. She was, and true to his word, Honditar was keeping her occupied. I waved at him and he slowly maneuvered until Earana’s back was to the door. I exited and went to the left, hopping off of the stoop and heading to the rear of the building. I scaled low stone walls to loop around Stenndar Chapel and made my way to the south gate. When I reached Honditar’s house, I waited until he arrived a few minutes later.

“God’s Blood, that woman can talk!” he said, unlocking his door.

We went inside and I pulled the book from my satchel and laid it on the table. Honditar picked it up and examined it. Satisfied that it was indeed what he expected, he placed the book in the same chest that had swallowed thirty of my Septims a few days ago.

“Okay,” I said, “Would you mind telling me why one of my first acts as a Guild Associate had to be larceny? From the Chapter Steward, no less!”

“It’s really very simple. This book could not be allowed to end up in the hands of either Teekeeus or Earana. It is very powerful. Those two are so engulfed in their feud that this would have meant the end of one or both of them. I simply removed the weapon and kept the balance of power intact,” he explained.

“What will you do with it?” I asked.

“Nothing at all. It can rot in my chest for all I care. I can’t read the thing anyway. But now, neither can Earana or Teekeeus,” he replied.

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I guess no harm was done.

“Did you see where she went?” I asked, “I need to get back and pack my things. I am off to Bravil as soon as possible.”

“She was heading toward The Gray Mare when I left her.”

“Good. Well, I am off then. Thanks again Honditar. I’ll stop by next time I am back in Chorrol,” I said.

“Please do, Talendor. Good luck, and remember, aim true…”

“…and don’t be seen,” I finished for him, smiling as I left.

* * *

I decided to do some shopping before going back to the Guild hall. I still had a wolf pelt to sell and I needed to replace the snapped arrows. I stopped in Northern Goods first and walked up the stairs. Seed-Neeus was sitting in a chair and sounded like she might be crying. It was so hard to tell what emotions were being displayed by an Argonian, except for anger.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

She stood and smoothed her dress. When she turned to me, I realized that Argonians are capable of tears.

“My daughter…you remember her…Dar-ma,” she said.

“Yes.”

“She is missing and I don’t know what to do. She went to Hackdirt, on a business errand for me. I wasn’t feeling well this morning, so she insisted on going for me. She hasn’t come back and it is not like her to be gone longer than necessary. I fear that something has happened to her,” she was saying, running the words together in barely controlled panic.

“Why don’t you sit back down and take a deep breath,” I suggested. She did so, and then explained further.

“She left on Blossom – that’s her horse – to go to Etira Moslin’s in Hackdirt. We do a small amount of business with Etira. Not much volume, but Etira pays well. Anyway, that was at dawn, and Dar-Ma should have been back by now.”

I felt genuine sympathy for her. There was something about a child being separated from its parent that tugged at my heart-strings. I decided that my trip to Bravil might have to be delayed.

“Tell me where Hackdirt is and I will go look for her. I have a few things to do first, but they won’t take long,” I told her.

“Really?” she said, her eyes widening, “I cannot thank you enough. Hackdirt is an isolated village south of here. Look for her horse, Blossom, a brown and white mare. Dar-Ma loves that animal and would never willingly abandon her.”

“Try not to worry too much,” I said, trying to sound comforting.

“Thank you Talendor. Please bring Dar-Ma back with you.”

“I’ll do my best,” I replied and left the store.

I made my other stop at Fire & Steel, replacing the broken arrows. I was able to sell the wolf pelt to Rasheda as well. I hadn’t wanted to bother Seed-Neeus with a business transaction.

* * *

I entered my room at the Guild hall and stared, dropping my satchel to the floor. It was a disaster. The bed had been stripped. All of my belongings were strewn about. The cupboard and chest were open with their contents scattered everywhere.

“YOU!” boomed a voice from behind me that made me jump out of my skin. I turned to find Teekeeus glaring and hissing ominously, his fists clenched into tight balls of fury.

“Where is my book, Associate?” he bellowed, “Where is it? I know you took it and gave it to Earana, didn’t you?”

“Your book? Oh, you mean the book I brought back to the Guild from Cloud Top. I have no idea. The last I saw of it was when I handed it to you,” I lied.

“That’s a pile of horse apples and you know it!” Teekeeus fumed.

“Really, sir, all I did was clean up and then go out to do some shopping. I have no idea what could have happened to the book,” I replied, which was half true.

“You listen to me, you tree-hugging piece of…” he paused for a second with a hiss, “I can’t prove it now, but if I ever can, you can count on me making your expulsion a top priority! I’ll be watching you.”

With that, the Argonian stomped off and started searching the next room. I cleaned my room as fast as possible. I gathered all of my possessions and quietly stepped to the stairs to avoid Teekeeus’ notice. Once I was down the stairs, I hurried my pace until I was outside, standing in Great Oak Plaza. I had just caught my breath when…

“YOU!” shouted a female voice to my right.

Are you kidding me?

“Yes, you, Bosmer,” said Earana as she strutted toward me, “Where’s my book?”

“I…um…I haven’t left for Cloud Top yet. I am leaving this evening and should be back in a day or two. I had to start my studies, you see, and I couldn’t leave right away. Teekeeus would have become suspicious,” I embellished.

“Is that so?” she replied, looking at me skeptically.

“Yes ma’am. My room in the Guild hall doesn’t have a door, so I am off to the Oak and Crosier to rent a room for the night. I leave for Cloud Top in the morning.”

“I thought you just said you are leaving tonight,” she said, arching an eyebrow.

“I meant I am leaving the Guild hall tonight,” I fibbed further, cringing inside at my misstep.

She stared at me for a second, as if trying to size up the truth of my statements. I guess she believed me because her demeanor softened slightly.

“Okay then. Just get it to me as soon as possible. And remember, this is to stay just between you and I,” she said.

“Yes ma’am. Good day,” I replied and started walking away as fast as I could without looking like I was trying to escape her. I rounded the corner and stopped, peeking back to be sure Earana would not be able to see me leave through the south gate. As soon as it was clear, I bolted for the gate and ran to Honditar’s house.

I pounded furiously on the door. Honditar must have thought he was under attack because he had a dagger in his hand when he opened it. I walked right in without an invite.

“Do you have any idea of the grief this little stunt of yours has caused me?” I yelled.

“It occurred to me that you may suffer some minor repercussions. Did you think Teekeeus would never discover the book was missing?” he stated mildly, as if it was a simple fact that I should have known.

“Repercussions…REPERCUSSIONS?” I barked at him with my arms tensed and fists balled with anger. “Teekeeus is convinced that I stole the book. He wants to drum me out of the Guild!”

“Calm down Talendor. Of course he thinks it was you. You are new. I doubt he has had anything stolen before you arrived,” he said calmly.

I was furious and speechless. I stood there gritting my teeth and clenching my fists.

“If you don’t exhale, your head is going to explode,” he added, just as calmly.

I deliberately held my breath even longer, and then started to feel dizzy. I exhaled and sat down heavily on the bench next to the table.

“Unless you left evidence, he can never know it was you. This will all pass, don’t worry,” Honditar said, in that same calm voice that was starting to grate on my nerves.

“Well, my friend,” I said with a little sarcasm, “You are going to help me with something. There will be no fee this time. I have paid enough today. I need you to mark the location of Hackdirt on my map.”

“Might I ask why?”

“Dar-Ma has gone missing and I told Seed-Neeus that I would try to find her.” I said, pulling out my map, “And while you’re at it, tell me anything I might need to know about Hackdirt and the surrounding area.”

Honditar raised his eyebrows, but complied. I changed into my field gear as he spoke. He said that he didn’t know much about Hackdirt, that the citizens were secretive and unfriendly. When he finished, I snatched my map back and thanked him sarcastically. I walked out the door and left for Hackdirt without saying good bye.

--------------------

EDIT - Nit picked.

This post has been edited by TheOtherRick: Mar 7 2011, 06:42 PM

[SubRosa]

“God’s Blood, that woman can talk!” he said, unlocking his door.
He's not one to point fingers!

Are you kidding me?
This had me nearly laughing out loud. First one, then the other! Perfect!

Poor Talendor. As much as I feel sorry for him though, it was fun watching him squirm!



nits:
Not really a nit, just an observation. You might describe Blossom as a Paint, rather than brown and white.

[haute ecole rider]

That was the one thing about this quest that bugged me. If you give the book to one then steal it back and give it to the other, what are the repercussions there? Is Teekeeus so inanely clueless he never looks to see that the book is gone? Is Earana such a blonde (sorry Buffy, Jerric, et al) that she thinks the book is safe where ever she stows it? I never played it out that way because the spell just isn't worth it at higher levels.

I haven't posted this quest yet. I'm a month ahead of my posts, and am polishing Sancre Tor while segueing into Miscarcand. So you can't do a spoiler read yet!

I did catch one nit:

Immediately to my right was cupboard.

It looks like 'a' ran and hid from Teekeeus!

[Grits]

Oh, how I love this chapter! Earana chatting up Honditar, Talendor getting yelled at then yelling at Honditar, then Honitar with his unruffled “It occurred to me that you may suffer some minor repercussions.” I was rolling! I really did think that Honditar had a nefarious plan.

I felt genuine sympathy for her. There was something about a child being separated from its parent that tugged at my heart-strings. I decided that my trip to Bravil might have to be delayed.

Aww. Of course he’s going to help Dar-Ma. Talendor is such an appealing character!

[Olen]

Good part, as the others have said your observations on the characters are hilarious and really made this part. Also having some repercussions for stealing the book was nice, I believe Teekius does mention it's gone missing in game in a rather pointed way but that's all. And Telandor is as well without the spell, it cost a ludicrous amount to cast anyway (talk about a rubbish reward).

And Hackdirt next, that's a quest that I don't think I've seen written elsehwere in spite of it being on of my favourites. Lovecraft referances abound! My excitment is like... a thing which cannot be described. ;P

Nit (?): and then the doorway to the stairs mimicking his door. - this fragment seemed a little odd to me. Something between the repetition of 'door' (albeit one with -way appended) which would have been fine except that 'mimicking' jarred me somehow. It seemed like an odd word and an awkward fragment. Might just be me though so it's really just something to consider.

This post has been edited by Olen: Mar 9 2011, 08:27 PM

[TheOtherRick]

@ SubRosa - He's not one to point fingers! I know, right? Thanks for the nit. I actually fixed it in the next chapter. Unfortunately that makes it look like Seed-Neeus is not horse savvy, like the author.

@ h.e.rider - Thanks for catching the typo. Picked. I agree about the whole rip-off quest thing. I always just give it to Teekeeus and it's off to the next one.

@ Grits - Thanks for noticing Talendor's ethics. They were nice to him, so....

@ Olen - I agree on the nit. You wouldn't believe how many times I rewrote that sentence. I finally settled on that one. I doubt the next chapter with be Lovecraft-esque, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Thanks to everyone again for the support.

This chapter ran just a hair over the suggested 2K word limit, but it was unavoidable... My apologies for the extra 150 or so words...

--------------------

Chapter 18 – Hindered, Helped, and Harrowed

I hadn’t bothered folding the map when I left Honditar’s house, and looked at it now to get my bearings. I needed to travel due south. Judging by the distance, I understood Seed-Neeus’ concern. Dar-Ma and Blossom could have gone there at least twice by now. I started through the woods toward Hackdirt.

I loved walking in The Great Forest. It was so much greener than the highlands. Lush ferns clustered beneath the oaks, elms, and maples. The trees were everywhere, but sparse enough to let plenty of sunshine reach the ground. There were several meadows with late season wildflowers. Tall grass rippled in the breeze like waves on a green ocean. Squirrels chased each other and jumped impossible distances among the branches above. Chipmunks scurried busily along the forest floor, running their little chipmunk errands. The sights and sounds did wonders to ease my anger at Honditar.

As I continued southward, I saw ruins up ahead. They were similar to the first buildings I saw after crawling out of the sewers. Lofty marble arches that looked as if a strong breeze should topple them. Since they were so close to my intended route, I decided to have a closer look.

Mosses and lichens had latched on to much of the stone. I ascended a set of stairs to what I thought would be a platform or roof. At the top, I discovered another set of stairs spiraling downward. They ended at what appeared to be a door. A large creeper had woven itself in and out of the arches that surrounded this part of the structure. It was as thicker than my waist and gave the impression of a giant snake trying to constrict the ruins. The temptation to investigate beyond the portal was strong, but I wasn’t here to investigate. I had more important things to tend to and left the platform to get back on my original path.

A few miles further, wood and masonry framed buildings came into view. Many of the buildings had been burned. This must have happened some time ago, based on the amount of ivy and moss that clung to them. Further into the village, I saw a house that wasn’t burnt, and next to that, a building with a sign that read ‘Moslin’s Inn’.

Seed-Neeus had mentioned Etira Moslin. That’s who Dar-Ma was supposed to meet…

I decided to explore the hamlet a little more before I entered any buildings. Most of them, including some of the burned ones, faced a central village square. At the opposite end was a chapel. Between here and the chapel, I could see another building with a sign and headed that way. As I approached, I could make out ‘Moslin’s Dry Goods’ in the fading daylight. Since this was Dar-ma’s destination, I entered the shop. I walked up to the Imperial woman that stood behind the counter. Just as I started to deliver salutations, she abruptly spoke in a stern voice.

“Let me give you some advice, stranger. Leave now. You ain’t welcome here.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I need to ask you something. I am looking for an Argonian girl. Her name is Dar-Ma. Have you seen her?”

“I don’t know any Dar-Ma. If you’re talking about that cursed Argonian swindler from Chorrol, I’d like to know where she is as well,” she replied with a scowl.

“I would hardly call Seed-Neeus a ‘swindler’, and I am speaking of her daughter. She came to make the delivery today because Seed-Neeus was under the weather. That was this morning. You are Etira Moslin, are you not?”

“I am, but the girl never showed up. How am I supposed to run a business without any merchandise? You tell Seed-Neeus I want half off on the next delivery!” she barked.

She’s lying.

“Well, if she happens to come in, please tell her that Talendor is looking for her,” I said and left the market. I decided to start searching near the store first, and work my way outward from there. Going behind the shop, I heard a sound from inside a burned out building. I poked my head in and there was the paint mare that Seed-Neeus had described.

I knew that woman was lying!

I turned around and went right back into the shop, knowing I had her now.

“Ok…tell me where Dar-Ma is!” I demanded.

“I already told you she never showed up!” she replied as snidely as before.

“Oh yeah? What’s her horse doing behind your store then, huh?” I asked, punctuating each word with an accusatory finger.

“That’s my horse! I’ve had it for years,” she stated, matter-of-factly.

I was speechless for a moment. I couldn’t refute her statement with certainty. The horse may have been hers. I had never seen Blossom before.

Close your mouth and stop pointing, knot-head…

To try and recover, I reminded her of my message with a stern tone and strode out of the shop.

Smoooooooth…

Frowning, I glanced toward the chapel. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I decided to check there next. The inside was dimly lit by a few candles. They were fighting a losing battle against the night that had fallen since my arrival. I started walking down the aisle toward an altar when someone entered the chapel. I spun around to see an Imperial man walking toward me. A couple more people also entered the church. I walked up to the first man and asked if he had seen Dar-Ma.

“Shh. We can’t talk here. They’ll get suspicious. The girl is in danger,” he whispered, pausing a moment and glancing around, “Meet me at my house in ten minutes. It’s located at the southeast corner of town. I’ll leave the door unlocked,” and then he spoke loud enough to be heard, “Go away stranger!”

He turned and made a show of stomping out of the chapel. I stood there looking at the other parishioners. Each of them was glaring at me.

“Well…um…I guess I’ll do as he said and leave you folks to…whatever. Have a nice…um…meeting,” I said as I headed for the door.

Once outside, I turned right and headed for the man’s house. The door was unlocked as promised and I entered without knocking. He was in the middle of the room, waiting for me.

“You came. Good. I don’t have much time. I have to get back to the gathering.”

“Where’s Dar-Ma?” I asked.

“You have to believe me. I had no idea what they were planning,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“They want to bring back the Deep Ones. I thought I did too, but…she’s so innocent…” he trailed off.

“Hey! What have you done with her?” I demanded with enough force to jar him back to the moment.

“They’ve got her down in the caverns. They’re going to sacrifice her! Do you understand? You’ve got to save her!” he implored.

“Where are these caverns?” I asked impatiently.

“Take this key,” he said, handing it to me, “It will open any of the trapdoors that lead down to the caves. Every house in town has one.”

“Which one is best?”

“The one in Moslin’s Inn, it is nearest to where she is being held. Wait until midnight, when everyone is at the gathering. I have to go. I’ve been here too long already,” he said as he turned and left.

I didn’t even get to ask his name or thank him. I waited a few minutes, and then left the house. The town seemed deserted. It was eerily dark and quiet. I ducked into the shadows of a burned out house and waited for midnight. Time drew out like a blade. An owl hooted and almost made me jump out of my skin. Even the crickets sounded ominous. I couldn’t wait any longer and headed to the inn.

I entered the common room and found it empty. I searched for a trap door and discovered it in a rear corner. I unlocked a padlock and removed it from its hasp. Opening the hatch as slowly as I could, I readied myself for danger. I didn’t even realize that I had drawn my sword. Nothing jumped out and I could hear no sound from below, so down I went.

There was flickering light to my left. I cast the life detection spell that Athragar had taught me and was rewarded with a pink glow in that same direction. Tightening my grip on the hilt of my sword, I eased my way toward the source of the light. As I peeked around the corner, I was delighted to see a cage with Dar-ma shimmering in a rose colored aura. She stood as I approached.

“Talendor!” she exclaimed with obvious relief.

“Be quiet!” I whispered harshly, “Someone, or some-thing, might hear you.”

“Please, you have to get me out of here,” she tried to say in a whisper, but apparently Argonians can’t pull that off. It seems that the best they can manage is a low growling hiss, and it sounded so loud.

“I am going to get you out…just…shh…please.”

I sheathed my sword and looked around. That Zenitor God, or whatever its name is, was with me again because there was a key on a stool a few feet away. I grabbed it and sure enough, it unlocked the cage.

“Now follow me…quietly,” I whispered.

We were almost back to the ladder when a husky shirtless man entered the chamber from a passage to the left.

“You there! HOLD!” he yelled.

I grabbed Dar-Ma’s arm and dragged her to the ladder running.

“Climb…FAST!” I implored her while drawing my sword.

I followed as quickly as I could, climbing with one hand and keeping my sword in a defensive position with the other. The half naked assailant had a monstrous club that he did not intend to tickle me with. He took a mighty swing that intended to shatter bones. I dropped my sword to gain a better purchase on the ladder and swung my feet up out of the way just in time. The club splintered most of the lower ladder rungs instead of my legs. As I yanked myself upward, another shirtless man ran into the chamber. Dar-Ma was just getting through the aperture. I scrambled up after her as soon as my feet found an unbroken rung. Once through the opening, I slammed the hatch shut and stood on it.

“Your horse is in a burned out building –“

The trap door heaved upward and knocked me off my feet. I leapt up and jumped on it with all my weight, hearing a yell and a thud beneath me.

“It’s behind the store. Go now. RUN! Don’t wait for me!” I yelled.

Dar-ma bolted out of the inn, hiking her skirt to run as fast as she could. Odd thoughts happen at odd times. The sight of bare lizard legs from mid-thigh down was one of those times. The trap door was trying to open again, and that jolted me back to reality. I looked for the lock so that I could secure the hatch, but was not able to locate it. Bouncing on that trap door was starting to remind me of my coach ride to Chorrol. Suddenly, I was airborne as the hatch few open. I crashed against the wall of the inn and tumbled to the floor.

The naked half of an attacker was through the opening before I could raise the hatch and slam it again. But the effect of pinching his torso in the opening bought me all the time I needed. Using the door like a torso-loaded springboard, I jumped toward the inn’s exit. My attacker grunted as I executed this maneuver, and then yelled for me to stop. As soon as I was outside, I reached into my mind for help. I extended my arm and released purple power, conjuring a skeleton to buy more time.

The timing was perfect. The skeleton’s axe split the skull of the first man through the door. I didn’t wait around to see further results. Running as fast as my short little legs could carry me, I left the hamlet, crashing through the undergrowth of the forest. I stopped after a few minutes and listened for sounds of pursuit. My pulse was pounding between my ears and my breath could not come fast enough. I sat there panting and nocked an arrow. I would be a difficult shot, considering the darkness and the undergrowth, but I no longer had a sword.

Once I was satisfied that there were no shirtless pursuers, I started walking back toward Chorrol. I thought of Dar-ma and hoped that she had made good her escape. I really didn’t want to have to go looking for her again.

This post has been edited by TheOtherRick: Mar 10 2011, 03:59 PM

[SubRosa]

Now that was an exciting adventure in Hackdirt! In spite of some initial fumblings, Talendor managed to find Dar-Ma, break her out, and flee to safety with the foul denizens on his heels. Just how many Lovecraftian tales tend to end (except that Talendor made it out with all his marbles...) The acrobatics on the trapdoor were an especially nice touch.

That Zenitor God
Maybe one day Talendor will get it right!

The half naked assailant had a monstrous club that he did not intend to tickle me with.
Thank Zenitor it was not a naked assailant with a monstrous club...