Buffy's Basket of Potpourri, Musings, ask Buffy, etc Options

[Lady Syl]

I resent your accusations! The only things baked around here are my extra-special brownies!

Erm...

*flees*

Now you're in trouble! Skooma is no more legal when baked into brownies than it is any other way. Off with his head!!

This post has been edited by Lady Syl: Apr 18 2011, 03:31 PM

[Thomas Kaira]

Illegal? I thought since all those merchants I showed it to were okay with it... they even gave me some rather nice prices for it, too.

Perhaps Thadon would enjoy a few, anyways? Would you care to bring him a few, I know how much he loves chocolate... and how much he loves that shiftier stuff, as well.

[Lady Syl]

Illegal? I thought since all those merchants I showed it to were okay with it... they even gave me some rather nice prices for it, too.

Perhaps Thadon would enjoy a few, anyways? Would you care to bring him a few, I know how much he loves chocolate... and how much he loves that shiftier stuff, as well.

On pain of death, I would advise you not to offer any of those corrupt goodies to Thadon. Madgod knows he doesn't need more drugs in his system....

***

(Thadon perks up, having overheard from nearby)

Wait, what? Did I hear someone say something about chocolate?

[mALX]

*

Maxical

** Thanks for keeping some strawberries and water aside for me, Buffy. I won't eat Imp Chips ... or any junk food when I'm in athletic training. Besides, the name makes me oofy. I can't come watch you shoot, but good luck in the Tournament !!

*

This post has been edited by mALX: Apr 20 2011, 06:38 PM

[Acadian]

Milady Syl, I heard they use torture where you come from. I once tortured a Khajiit. He was a highwayman who swung an axe at my precious mare, Superian. We got away and could have just kept going, but we didn't. I returned stealthily and shot the highwayman with a poisoned arrow that knocked him down. I watched as he struggled on the ground trying to remove my arrow as the poison made him writhe and cry out in pain. All I could think about was the sick feeling I had when I remembered how close his axe had come to hitting Superian. Had he been a wolf or lion, I would have put him out of his pain with another arrow. I didn't though. I just crouched in my hidden firing position and whispered, "I hope it hurts." After a few minutes, he died. I know I would do the exact same thing again to anyone who tried to hurt Superian. Am I bad?

Heidi, how delightful to have another blonde here! Um, forgive my nosiness, but you have to understand that my cup size is quite near the front of the alphabet if you know what I mean. Do you have any problems if you try to shoot a bow? Can you swim underwater okay or do you keep bobbing to the surface? Does it hurt if you ride a horse at a gallop? I know my friend Sigrid gets mad when men don't look at her eyes when they talk to her.

Milord Thadon, I am honored to hear from you. Milady Syl does indeed visit here, but I fear I cannot share her schedule due to her security concerns. I'm sure a powerful and noble mer of your position fully understands such matters. I must also decline your most gracious offer to share these intoxicants you call greenmote and felldew. I expect my dear friend Nordinor would become concerned about his customer base. I also fear my friend Gladius Maro would not understand; the Legion soldier is a wonderful man, but simply refuses to overlook infractions of the local laws and customs - even though he seems to be in the minority among Bravil guards. I so hope your Lordship can be satisfied by wine and ale type products? Would it help if I brought in some chocolate from Passwall? I have certainly been known to tip a bit too much Tamika's. May I share with you what really intoxicates me? It is the freedom and speed of thundering down a road on the fastest horse in Cyrodiil. Do you have fast horses where you come from?

Serene, Squeeee! How exciting to have you drop in for a visit!

Maxical, Whew! I'm so glad that strawberries and water are ok. I mean, I don't have very many Khajiit friends. I didn't know if I needed to get some milk or something? I know, I'm a silly elf. Oh, one of the tourney judges asked if you were going to enter the event this year. When I told him you were not going to be able to make it, he seemed quite relieved. I wonder what that's about?

Buffy

[Lady Syl]

Buffy--

Well, to start with, I found your story about your own experience with torture delightful! I would have done similarly, of course. Are you bad, you ask? I would say that you are not bad, but perhaps a little mad? That is only the beginning, I should think. If you wish for the blessing of madness, I am certain you will receive it. Think of what you could become, if you allow madness to envelop you, Buffy! It is wondrous, I can assure you.

Have you ever considered applying for a position as a torturer? Currently that position is filled in the House of Dementia, but I am sure there are plenty of positions available in other places. If you are interested, I will keep you in mind, should some unfortunate event put me on the market for a new torturer...

Well, it was a delight getting to visit, dear. And thank you for looking out for my security so well. I can say that I almost trust you...

With pleasure,
Syl.

****

Dear sweet Buffy,

Ah, quite disappointing that I cannot share the delights of greenmote and felldew on my visits to Cyrodiil. Of course, I will be delighted to have chocolate and wine as a substitute, however. Thank you kindly for the offer.

This Gladius Maro fellow, I think I shall have to watch out for him. Does he like jokes? If I ever run into him, I shall have to tell him some jokes, and hope to keep his disposition toward me up, so that I do not fall under his suspicion. Too bad, really, that he can't overlook such things. He would have a hay day in Mania, hehehe. Unfortunately, there are no longer any horses in Mania, so having a hay day would be rather pointless. There aren't any horses in Dementia, either. I haven't seen a horse in the Isles in a very long time...

Affectionately,
Thadon.

[ureniashtram]

To Buffy,

.. I must've surely looked quite the idiot! Imps chips are droppings from Imps they say.. What a load of Imp chips! *laughs* My thanks for shedding light on that matter, fellow Bosmer! Oh, and I resent that I am not there in Bravil. I hear that the Tournament of Archers has been commenced. I have not spent enough time in Bravil to know deeply of such matters, but I do know that dear Daenlin has such a skill that he wins it everytime. I have heard it from another bowman. Jean-Pierre Lemonds is his name, do you know him? He was once a Champion in the Arena, or so do the old rumours tell.

I've never been the one to believe in rumours, but, Lemonds radiate an .. interesting aura. Calm, concentrated and straight to the point. Like the arrows he uses, yes?

Oh, and is it true that .. You are in touch with colourful characters from various places? Like, the albino Khajiit at the Arena? God's blood, I know that giving advices and answering questions would net you some attention but by Y'ffre Himself!

I never met the Khajiit, but from what I gather when watching her matches.. Let's just say I would dress up as a girl when meeting her in a bad mood! The things she did to that poor man.. and his manhood.. Dear Nine above and the Sixteen Lords below! I had nightmares for weeks!

Well, I must be off. And thank you again for giving the answer for that gastronomical riddle I have encountered in the form of Imp chips. I would be sure to buy some from dear Nilawen if I'm there.

Regards,

Adatoriel.

[King Coin]

Lissa

Sooo how is my contract coming? I haven't heard any news in a while. Have you heard from Jessie?

-Aravi

[Thomas Kaira]

Dear Syl:

Oh, I'm sure it would be easy to get that job opening set up. You are the Duchess of Dementia, and I have seen that torturer guy (his name escapes me right now) sneaking off to whisper with some rather shady figures in Crucible at night for about three days now. Conspiracy, maybe?

You don't even need to be sure. Like I said, you are the Duchess of Dementia; paranoia is to be expected and praised. Especially with the whole of the Isles out to get you now.

Oh, and if you see Thadon acting a little... weird... please know that I could do nothing to stop him, and that he may have tasted (or devoured) a brownie... or twelve.

Sorry.

This post has been edited by Thomas Kaira: Apr 23 2011, 07:38 PM

[Lady Syl]

Dear TK--

You saw Herdir sneaking around in Crucible, you say? Madgod, will no one remain loyal to their Duchess? I will have my Seducers round him up, and I suppose it will now be up to me to get him to admit to his crimes... Well then, I suppose there will now be a position open within the House of Dementia. Such a disappointment--Herdir had been one of my most loyal servants... Well, now I will have no choice but to make an example of him, to teach all of those traitors a lesson!

And Thadon had some of your brownies? Well, that explains a lot. I shall have to show him what I think of that later. Oh, and I would like you to come to the House of Dementia later, TK. I would like to have a word with you--consider yourself summoned.

Take care,
Syl.

****

Official Notice:

There is now an opening within the House of Dementia, for the position of court torturer. Along with a fair salary, the position provides security and accommodations appropriate to a servant of the House of Dementia. Please seek out Lady Syl' steward, Kithlan, to apply for an interview. All applicants will be required to pass an extensive examination, as well as a meeting for the approval of our Lord Sheogorath, Prince of Madness. Once you have received the appropriate certifications, you will be permitted a formal interview with Lady Syl, with the official chance to obtain said position.

[TrisRed]

Hello everyone! I would just like to say that I have restarted Lissa's adventure, so any memory she had before has been wiped. Dont worry KC, ill make sure you get back your contract deposit


From Lissa -

Hey there everyone! How has everyone's day been?

LC X

[Lady Syl]

Hello everyone! I would just like to say that I have restarted Lissa's adventure, so any memory she had before has been wiped. Dont worry KC, ill make sure you get back your contract deposit

Boy, that must suck! Amnesia, eh?

From Lissa -

Hey there everyone! How has everyone's day been?

LC X

Greetings, Lissa!

It has been a busy day here in the House of Dementia. Someone informed me that Herdir may be guilty of conspiring against me, so I have had to start another inquisition in Crucible, and this time I have to do most of the work myself! I never would have suspected Herdir, as he was always such a loyal servant. If I cannot trust Herdir, whom can I trust? This just keeps getting worse! I hope you are having better luck. Want my advice? Never take a position of power. Once you do, you will become prey for the hunter, and they will smell your blood and come for it at any opportunity they get!

--Syl, Duchess of Dementia.

This post has been edited by Lady Syl: Apr 28 2011, 09:08 PM

[TrisRed]

Greetings, Lissa!

It has been a busy day here in the House of Dementia. Someone informed me that Herdir may be guilty of conspiring against me, so I have had to start another inquisition in Crucible, and this time I have to do most of the work myself! I never would have suspected Herdir, as he was always such a loyal servant. If I cannot trust Herdir, whom can I trust? This just keeps getting worse! I hope you are having better luck. Want my advice? Never take a position of power. Once you do, you will become prey for the hunter, and they will smell your blood and come for it at any opportunity they get!

--Syl, Duchess of Dementia.

Dear Syl,

I'm real sorry to hear that somebody you trust the most can't be trusted, that sucks! If I ever pluck up the courage to visit the isles I will be more than happy to help you out any way I can to take the workload off you; but only if I can have a replica of that AMAZING dress you have! Haha, only joking. About the dress, not helping!

I really don't plan on getting any form of major power... Yet.

LC X

[Thomas Kaira]

I have been summoned? By the Duchess of Dementia?

Should I be honored or terrified? Or both?

One problem, though, I'm afraid I have no means of transit to the Isles. Unless you can persuade Lord Sheogorath to open a portal for me (he knows where) I'm afraid it will be quite impossible for me to entertain your summons.

[Lady Syl]

Dear Lissa--

How kind of you to extend your offer of aid. Should you ever come to the Isles, I would be ever grateful for your help. I'm afraid copies of my dress are nearly unattainable, but believe me, I understand your desire to have one. It is the finest dress in my wardrobe, and I absolutely love it. A true work of art, it is.

Well, do take care dear. And your decision to hold off from getting into a position of power is a wise one. Believe me, I can understand the temptation, but hold off for as long as you can--once you accept it, you'll never be able to escape from it. I am both honored and held captive by my position. I would not wish it on anyone...

Fare well,
Syl.

****

Dear TK--

While I understand your predicament, I am sure you can work something out. Lord Sheogorath will not open a portal to His realm unless He feels inclined to do so, but I am sure He would be more than willing, provided I catch Him in the right mood. Whenever you are able to come is fine--I can wait. But I would advise you not to keep me waiting for too long. I have much I would like to discuss with you.

Thadon has been avoiding me since our last encounter. Apparently he wasn't too fond of the discussion I gave him, but I consider it my duty to do whatever it takes to get him on the right track. Surely you understand? If not, we will have even more to discuss, when you make it to the House of Dementia....

Take care,
Syl.

[Thomas Kaira]

Dear Syl:

I've heard a recent rumor that about half the bricks in your palace chambers contain magical listening and viewing devices. Perhaps you should look into that?

Regards,

TK.

[Lady Syl]

Dear Syl:

I've heard a recent rumor that about half the bricks in your palace chambers contain magical listening and viewing devices. Perhaps you should look into that?

Regards,

TK.

*gasps* Madgod! Could it be? Is there nowhere safe? I must see Lord Sheogorath at once!

[DarkZerker]

Question for Buffy...

Would you consider yourself good, evil, or neutral? Because it's hard to tell since you care for your friends, mentors, etc. very much and reject the Dark Brotherhood, but...torturing a Kahjiit that badly? Really? Kind of extreme, even though he tried to attack Superian.

Question end

Hilarious interactions from Buffy, Kudos Acadian.

[Acadian]

Milady Syl, thank you for almost trusting me. Remember that little elves like you and I make small, hard to hit targets. I must humbly decline the offer to come to the Isles or consider the position of torturer. After my experience with Sheogorath at Borderwatch, let's just say, I do not count him among my friends. I trusted that his harmless prank there would be simple fun. I was not prepared for the cruelty or shattered lives I left in my wake as a result of allowing myself to trust him. I cannot forgive myself for Borderwatch, so I cannot forgive Sheogorath either. As far as the position of torturer, I like torture fine, but only against those who threaten me or those I hold dear; then, despite being as little as I am, I tend to go stupid and act like a mama grizzly. I fear that I'm only a hobby torturer for my own sense of vengeance.

Milord Thadon, I'm so sorry that you have no horses in the Isles. Do you perhaps have an orc problem that could be the cause?

Adatoriel, Oh yes, Daenlin and I know Jean-Pierre Lemonds! Besides myself, he is the only one that Daenlin will let run The Archer's Paradox in his absence. The albino Khajiit? Oh what a delight Maxical is! She can't heal or shoot a bow or aim a spell, but she's cute as a button and an amazing swordskitty! And the things she can do with her tail! Like my mare and I, she has big ears, but unlike me, Maxical can move her ears all around in the cutest ways!

DarkZerker, Hmm, am I good, evil or neutral? Yes I am! Acadian's friend SubRosa says I am cuddly like a rattlesnake. Mrs Acadian calls me lethally blond. I figure I'm just a working girl trying to survive in a beautiful but harsh land. I have come to trust and rely on this: The Buffy Doctrine: If you are kind to me, I will love you dearly; if you are a threat to me or my friends, I will likely kill you . When it comes to someone who would hurt one of my dear friends like Superian, no vengeance or violence is too extreme for this little elf. So. . . I guess it depends on whether you are kind to me and my friends?

All - By Mara, I'm so glad that my little tavern is a fun place to meet and chat with other residents of Tamriel (you too, Lady Syl and Lord Thadon).

Buffy

[Lady Syl]

Dear Maxical--

While traveling to Bravil today, I stopped by Faregyl Inn. Every time I pass by now, I always think of you--thought you would like to know. Also, I went in to chat with Alix and S'Jirra, and helped S'Jirra get back some jumbo potatoes that had been stolen from her by a big ogre. She rewarded me kindly with a loaf of her special potato bread. I shall take it back to the Isles with me and have Anya taste it before I try any--can't be too careful, of course.... It smells delicious, though! I do so hope Anya doesn't die after eating any of it, as I am eager to taste it myself!

Take care,
Syl.

*****

Dear Buffy--

I perfectly understand that you do not want to turn your hobby of torturing into a career. It is not something I would want to do on a daily basis (that is why I hire others to do it for me). After all it would become rather tedious and boring, I should think.

Also, I find it interesting that Acadian's friend calls you cuddly like a rattlesnake. SubRosa has a very good wit, it seems. Also, this Mrs. Acadian sounds charming--"lethally blond" sounds like an excellent nickname! Were I blond instead of brunette, I would simply be flattered to have such a nickname. From what I hear, it rightly suits you.

Take care,
Syl.

This post has been edited by Lady Syl: May 5 2011, 04:42 AM