Does this thread belong here?, pieces of quest Options

[ghastley]

Most of the threads in this forum are naturally about "my character's adventures in a TES world", and the rest are meta-threads about writing them.

I'm coming from a completely different direction, or maybe not. I'm trying to create quest mods for Oblivion with a whole lot of NPC's who have linked stories, and I need all the help I can get with those. It's not entirely a different problem from writing the support cast in a regular FF, but it does leave out the central character, who will be the player, and I don't want to write that one.

I like to build a character in Oblivion and play it for a while before making an NPC from it, as this helps to give me some idea of how a pure mage thinks, or an archer, or an axe-wielding Orc, and I can make the NPC more credible that way. I'm currently playing a stereotypical big dumb blonde Nord called Hidy Heidi, who aspires to joining the Imperial Mountain Riders and patrolling the Jerrals on a white bear. I started her off trying to use poisoned daggers and stealth, but found that it's not too viable at low levels, because the damage she could inflict was never enough for a one-hit kill, and using a dagger put her too close for comfort in the remainder of the encounter. So she switched to a Claymore to better use her Blade skill, although she still tries a sneak attack with a dagger first, some of the time. She'd probably use the Claymore if she got a bear to ride, so maybe it's for the best.

This experience now has to be distilled down to some dialog for the NPC in-game, and that of her colleagues, and that's the sort of thing I'd want to post here for criticism and advice. And the content of books, notes, journal entries for the quests. Many of you have experience of rewriting bits of lore for your narratives, or fitting a new piece into the incomplete jigsaw puzzle Betheda provided, so I know it will help me if it works.

Heidi is intended to become part of this mod, of which only the first two quests have been released as a beta. I have another dozen or so in development, including an arc of quests that happen after the player is both CoC and Madgod, based on the idea of Dagon taking revenge on the player by opening gates in his/her new realm.

[Acadian]

Another great little story that gives folks a very solid feel for Claudia and makes her both interesting and quite likeable. You do have a flair for efficiently and effectively developing pleasing characters.

Nits?
"Cameleon enchantment. This is a Ring of Shadows I took from a Dremora mage a while ago...'
Chameleon is the spelling.

You have trend toward run-on or complex sentences. Let me show you but two examples. I will offer you a suggested alternative on the first one, then leave fiddling with the second one to you:

'This time he took off the ring as soon as the trapdoor was closed, and walked over to the table and unfolded a map. "Can you show me Sky's Edge Cave?"
My recommendation: This time he took off the ring as soon as the trapdoor was closed. Walking over to the table, he unfolded a map and said, "Can you show me Sky's Edge Cave?"

'From the shrine, they headed North across the open snow, looking for the cave entrance, until at last they found a trail that led them to Sky's Edge Cave, and the two entered, hoping the courier and bear were still around.'

[ghastley]

@Acadian: I see what you mean about running them together. I think it's my equivalent of Fast Travel; the "get them moved quickly, so we can get back to the story" habit. But it's having the opposite effect, as I'm adding extra conjunctions I don't need.

However, I'm now thinking I want to slow down the second one and take a look around. That's not a piece of the map that gets many visitors, so it could use some scene-painting. Before I added the cave, that was a trail to nowhere, and it still is a trail from nowhere, as there's nothing at the other end. That quirk probably deserves a mention, if I can think of a way to add it. (Edit: and I believe I did).

This post has been edited by ghastley: Feb 28 2011, 03:59 AM

[mALX]

What I find most exciting about this is that at some point in your story you will be able to get on the PC and see the story come to life - that is AWESOME !!!

I wanted to do something similar but don't have the skills needed. I did make a mod to go along with my fic - just for my own personal use - but it made a huge difference to me in inspiring the story as well.

I am so excited to see where this goes when you bring in the mod - this is HUGE that you are making a whole story as a backdrop to your mod (or making a mod as a backdrop to your story) - AWESOME !!!

Loving the story so far !!!

[ghastley]

The first two tales in this short series featured two of the riders, because the quests did the same. The third quest didn't have a central character, so I just picked one to give the tale a viewpoint. All the dialog with the Hero is taken directly from the in-game dialog, the rest is added for this story.

---------

Svana's tale

Svana's bear galloped along the trail towards Silver Tooth Cave, the point where her patrol ended, and Pala's began. She was hoping to see her fellow Rider there, as she hadn't spoken to anyone for several days.

And there she was, talking to a traveler! Svana urged her bear even faster, as the prospect of a real conversation was too good to miss.

"... the same old route, and the same cold weather all the time. Every now and then there's a bit of excitement when a new bunch of bandits move into the camp, but we clear them out and it's back to wild animals," Pala was telling him. "I need a bit of the other kind of excitement, if you know what I mean. And a few days off to enjoy it."

Svana dismounted and went to join them. "This has to be the hardest duty in all the Legion! It's always cold up here and we have to camp out in the open," she agreed. "I patrol this same stretch from Silver Tooth Cave to the road to the Ancestor Moth Temple over and over and rarely see anything but wild creatures." She almost envied Pala's recurring bandits, she thought ruefully. At least they spoke to her, even if it was just to tell her to jump on their swords. "I need a change of scenery for a few days - and a bit of male company wouldn't go amiss, either," she continued, echoing Pala's sentiments.

"The men get to sleep in barracks in the cities, or stay at the Inns and Taverns on their patrols. Every month, they rotate duties, and get a couple of days to relax before their new assignments. We girls don't have a base of our own to go back to. That's what we really need." Pala told him.

It was about then that it dawned on Svana that she was talking with the Hero of Kvatch! Her mind raced with the possibilities. The higher-ups never listened to the Riders' complaints, but would they listen to the Hero? He dashed those hopes almost immediately when he told them about how Claudia had been treated, and how little he'd been able to do through official channels.

But then he raised them again, by announcing that he'd take their cause to Ocato, the High Chancellor himself!

As the Hero strode off down the trail in the direction of Cheydinhal, the two women conferred. "Do you believe he can do it?" asked Svana.

"If anybody can" replied Pala, climbing back onto her bear. "We''ll just have to wait and see."

----------

Several days later Svana met up with her colleague again. Pala told her she'd seen the Hero again just a few hours before, and he'd asked the way to Fort Horunn. He'd brought the good news that he had indeed been able to speak to the High Chancellor. He'd told Ocato about the Riders' lack of a base, and he had appeared sympathetic to the idea.

"So what's the bad news?" asked Svana. "If it was all good, you'd still be jumping up and down."

"Well, the way he put it was that you never get something from a politician, without giving something in exchange. In this case, Ocato wants a book found. It's supposed to describe a powerful spell or something." Pala tried to explain. "Apparently, the Hero had found a spell book when he was in the Chorrol area, called 'Finger of the Mountain', and returned it to the Mages Guild there. They'd sent it to the Mystic Archives at the Arcane University and a scholar there had discovered a reference to this other book, the one Ocato wants."

"So he's going into Fort Horunn to look for it. That's just off your patrol, isn't it?"

"Yes, and I'm glad it's not actually on my route. I'm sure I've seen will-o-the-wisps glowing near it."

Svana shivered, and it wasn't just the cold air.

----------

Another week passed, or maybe a little more. She had seen Pala another time near the cave, but she didn't have any news except "Same old bandits, same old wolves".

She was nearing the other end of her patrol, where the trail forked to go up to the Temple of the Ancestor Moths. A bay horse stood at the junction, without a rider. She dismounted and walked over to it.

"Thanks for watching my horse" said a voice behind her. A Legionary stepped out of the brush, wiping blood off his sword. "Only a wolf", he continued. He sheathed the weapon, and then reached into his saddlebag, pulling out two scrolls of parchment. "You're Svana, I presume". She nodded.

He handed the scrolls to Svana. "These are for you, and I have another pair to deliver to Pala. She'll be further up this trail, right?"

"Yes, her patrol starts at Silver Tooth Cave, and goes all the way to Dragon Claw Rock, due north of Bruma." replied Svana. "She could be anywhere along that stretch."

"Thank you again, ma'am" said the Legionary, remounting. "I'd read those right away, if I were you".

Svana did so. Twice, because she didn't believe it all the first time.

The first was her new orders. They included her schedule for R&R, at the new Lodge they'd just completed outside Bruma! She'd have three days there each month from now on, and sleep in a real bed in a warm room. There was a tavern there, and the prospect of company!

The second was from the Hero, filling in the other half of the story. The book had indeed been in the Fort. The spell it described was so powerful, no mage could cast it! The scholars at the University were currently working on a plan to harness a Dark Welkynd Stone to use it as a trap. He didn't yet know where the trap was to be set, but he'd keep them informed as soon as there was any news.

The Black Horse Courier knew of the Riders' part in the discovery of the book, so she should expect to be interviewed. The letter told her what the reporters were allowed to know at this time..It also gave her a few hints to guide her "speculation" about the things she wasn't supposed to know. Those could be used to feed rumors as well, so she had plenty to talk about at the Lodge when her turn came round.

When was that again? She read that part a third time. "I get to be the first Rider to stay at the Lodge? Pala can keep her bandits; I got the bragging rights now!"

------

"Wow! this is more than the hut I was expecting" Svana said to herself, as she came in sight of the building. "It looks big enough for us all to stay here at the same time".

When she stepped into the Lodge, she found that was precisely the intention of Gudrun, the new Captain. "If I need to bring you all in for a briefing, you all need proper accomodation. I have to allow for recruitment, too, as Ocato's got big plans for us."

Gudrun told her to go downstairs and pick a room. Since each Rider had a regular schedule for their stay at the Lodge, they'd be able to use the same one each time. Anything they left in storage, such as civilian clothes, could be moved into their room before they arrived, and put back away when they left. "But I don't have any civilian clothes," she protested.

"Then go into Bruma and buy some. You've got a bonus to spend!" replied Gudrun, dropping a heavy bag of coin into her hand.

Svana could only nod, and Gudrun turned and went back up the stairs to her office. Taking the other stairs down, Svana went to check out the bedrooms.

She must be dreaming! Rugs, paintings, tapestries, cupboards and drawers in each of the rooms. And a big, soft, double bed! She checked them all, and every room was the same, except for the colors on the covers, so she chose the green. She sprawled on the bed, sinking into the soft comforter and thought "Three whole days of this, and again every month!"

Sitting up again, she looked around the room once more. noticing the little things. There were potted plants in the corners, a chest she could lock, and a white plush toy bear sitting on the top of the drawers. There had to be a catch somewhere, this was just too good to be true.

But Gudrun told her otherwise. "This place is supposed to help us recruit new Riders," she explained. "You already know what it's like out on patrol, and Ocato's concerned that we couldn't get any more girls to join us if that was all we had to offer."

The Captain continued. "While you're here, the Legion pays your bar tab, and you can eat as much as you like in the dining hall. The smith in town will do your repairs, and send us the bill. When we have more Riders, we'll probably add our own forge and do it all here."

"Oh, and I nearly forgot to tell you about Timo." Gudrun winked when she said that. "He''ll do any recharging you need. You can find him down in the hall, probably taking to Magnus, the barkeep".

Svana looked puzzled. Her armor didn't need recharging, and her Claymore wasn't enchanted, so why...? Her blush told Gudrun that she understood.


-------------------

I'll add some screenshots here as soon as I have the links sorted out.

[SubRosa]

Another nice little piece about Svana and Palla. The teddy bear was a delightful touch!

One thing that immediately came to mind at the beginning however, was that the two women were talking to the (presumably male) Hero of Kvatch and saying how they miss male company. Talk about a hint as subtle as the Ministry of Truth crashing into you! Yet it all blows right over the HoK's head, as all he says is he'll take it up with Ocato? Unless the HoK is gay, should we then presume that the women are as attractive as the bears they ride?

[mALX]

Another nice little piece about Svana and Palla. The teddy bear was a delightful touch!

One thing that immediately came to mind at the beginning however, was that the two women were talking to the (presumably male) Hero of Kvatch and saying how they miss male company. Talk about a hint as subtle as the Ministry of Truth crashing into you! Yet it all blows right over the HoK's head, as all he says is he'll take it up with Ocato? Unless the HoK is gay, should we then presume that the women are as attractive as the bears they ride?

ROFL !!! Almost sprayed coffee everywhere when I read that !!!

They not only gave BROAD hints, but then gave him their patrol routes in case he wanted to stop in. So what will he say to Ocato? ROFL !!! "Er...the women are getting lonely and need some male companionship...High Chancellor Ocato, sir..."

I loved this segment - AWESOME !!!

[Acadian]

Nice background-building on the bear riders, and provides for their own lodge!

"Three whole days of this, and again every month!"
I'm not gonna go here.

[ghastley]

@SubRosa: That's the in-game dialog that they say to the player, and I didn't provide alternate lines for all the possibilities of player gender or orientation. This conversation does take place on a bleak, snowy trail, where immediate action would be suicide by frostbite. And it may have influenced his decision to find them somewhere warmer and more comfortable, especially if he considers himself a potential beneficiary in future.

@mALX: I haven't decided if Ocato will visit the Lodge later, but he does have some gratitude "in the bank" if he wants to cash in.

@Acadian: Blame the game's AI scheduling for that. I originally planned for them to cycle through the Lodge every twenty days or so, but that wasn't an option.

[Cardboard Box]

This conversation does take place on a bleak, snowy trail, where immediate action would be suicide by frostbite.

"Help! I'm dying from indecent exposure!"

[Grits]

I have enjoyed the persistent image of a strapping, manly HoK standing on a snowy path chatting with two nubile young steel g-stringed bear babes, boldly writing “find…dates…for…hot…bear…chicks” in his stalwart little notebook.

Seriously though, since I know absolutely nothing about modding, it has taken me a few read-throughs to figure out what’s going on. But now I think I get it. I like it!!! The warm lodge is a great contrast to the bleak wilderness. I can’t wait to hear Timo’s story. I expect he takes a lot of vitamins.

This post has been edited by Grits: Mar 3 2011, 01:48 AM

[ghastley]

To help with the persistent images. I'll try an experimental link to a screenshot. The URL isn't stable yet, as I'm still trying to get a static IP address.

Captain Gudrun in her office - She's obviously learned a lot from Sigrid about posture.

If my address changes, that link will get broken, and I'll have to come back and edit it later. Let me know if it works for you, and I'll add a few more.

This post has been edited by ghastley: Apr 7 2011, 12:11 AM

[Grits]

Oh my! Does the Captain’s desk chair also find armor irritating? It works!!

ETA: I love to see your ideas come to life on the screen! The bear toy is especially nice touch, someone being thoughtful.

This post has been edited by Grits: Mar 3 2011, 03:16 AM

[Thomas Kaira]

We-heh-ell....

I know the Nords love the cold but... might she be taking things a tad too far? Normally I wouldn't be making snow-angels in my undies unless I downed a bottle of Amaretto.

Still, there's always good old fashioned Nordic Whiskey (in a jar).

But I digress, that's a mighty fine looking bikini you've got there.

[ghastley]

Well I guess that means the link worked.

She wears more in bed - this illustrates the cuddly toy - and the little plush bear as well.

another view of her office

The bar and the dining area of the Lodge.

Svana's room

And here's a view of the outside.

And while the links are working - the whole mod's documentation.

This post has been edited by ghastley: Sep 25 2019, 03:14 PM

[mALX]

Well I guess that means the link worked.

She wears more in bed - this illustrates the cuddly toy - and the little plush bear as well.

another view of her office

The bar and the dining area of the Lodge.

Svana's room

And here's a view of the outside.

And while the links are working - the whole mod's documentation.

Love the lodge you built - this is AWESOME !!!! I went to the full documentation and looked up the different quests - I am getting very excited about this mod !!! How much fun, and how in the world you thought of all this - I love it !!!

[ghastley]

...and how in the world you thought of all this...

The Schnapps ad was the challenge - create a credible reason for her to exist in the TES world - and it made a good mod to try out the whole Construction Set. I needed to create costume models and/or textures, rework animations so she could ride the bear, create a quest, write some scripts and dialogs. Essentially there was a bit of everything.

I released a single-quest mod and got some positive feedback that encouraged me to add some more riders, so then I needed a story to tie it all together. That's the piece I came here to test out before it gets released as playable code.

It isn't all there in my mind yet. I still need a way to bring the Riders into play in the Deadlands after the Oblivion Gates in SI are closed by the player (with Mazken/Aureal help), so that the story completes the circle. There is another character I'm working on - Heidi, a stereotypical pneumatic dumb blonde - who'll turn out to be the exact opposite (well, she'll remain big and blonde). I don't have much of her tale thought through yet, but she'll probably be the one Rider that goes to SI with the player. I need some brilliant ideas to become her brilliant ideas in the resolution.

Heidi

The hardest part is keeping it tongue-in-cheek at the same time as letting you play it as a serious quest line if you prefer.

This post has been edited by ghastley: Jul 13 2011, 10:25 PM

[mALX]

...and how in the world you thought of all this...

The Schnapps ad was the challenge - create a credible reason for her to exist in the TES world - and it made a good mod to try out the whole Construction Set. I needed to create costume models and/or textures, rework animations so she could ride the bear, create a quest, write some scripts and dialogs. Essentially there was a bit of everything.

I released a single-quest mod and got some positive feedback that encouraged me to add some more riders, so then I needed a story to tie it all together. That's the piece I came here to test out before it gets released as playable code.

It isn't all there in my mind yet. I still need a way to bring the Riders into play in the Deadlands after the Oblivion Gates in SI are closed by the player (with Mazken/Aureal help), so that the story completes the circle. There is another character I'm working on - Heidi, a stereotypical pneumatic dumb blonde - who'll turn out to be the exact opposite (well, she'll remain big and blonde). I don't have much of her tale thought through yet, but she'll probably be the one Rider that goes to SI with the player. I need some brilliant ideas to become her brilliant ideas in the resolution.

Heidi

This is so fascinating !!! It is exciting to see the mod forming and the inner workings of how the quests are set up - then get to see the finished product as it develops !!!

I guess she could either be pretending to be dumb because she is some form of double agent for a faction and is infiltrating - or she could be an academic airhead - like people who are genius in one way but lack common sense in another.

(Maxical in my story is an academic airhead. In Maxical's original story (and later on in this version) - Eyja the maid from Skingrad is a double agent infiltrating - she comes across as dumb so no one bothers watching her - then takes over in a quick flip of events)

I loved the links you provided, they tripled my excitement over this thread !!!

This post has been edited by mALX: Mar 3 2011, 04:34 PM

[ghastley]

Academic airhead is a great description. Heidi's way of putting it is that she thinks slowly, but carefully. It may take her a long time to figure something out, but she'll probably take it further than anyone else could. She also has a good memory, because she has to think things through after she's been told something, so she can't afford to miss what was said.
Heidi picture at TesNexus - both girls are Heidi. I test-played the start of her quest with her as the player character.


This post has been edited by ghastley: Mar 3 2011, 04:49 PM

[mALX]

Academic airhead is a great description. Heidi's way of putting it is that she thinks slowly, but carefully. It may take her a long time to figure something out, but she'll probably take it further than anyone else could. She also has a good memory, because she has to think things through after she's been told something, so she can't afford to miss what was said.
Heidi picture at TesNexus - both girls are Heidi. I test-played the start of her quest with her as the player character.

GAAAAH !!! Playing as twins - what an AWESOME idea !!!

[Acadian]

Academic airhead is a great description. Heidi's way of putting it is that she thinks slowly, but carefully. It may take her a long time to figure something out, but she'll probably take it further than anyone else could. She also has a good memory, because she has to think things through after she's been told something, so she can't afford to miss what was said.
…

My goodness! Perhaps this is a blonde thing and not related to bust size. You have amazingly described the thought process of my small-breasted blond bowgirl. Flustered and fumbling if under pressure, but elegantly clever if given the time to craft her knowledge into a plan.

All I can think of regarding the red-headed precious Maxical is that perhaps her white fur is acceptable to the goddess of blondness.