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A Daughter's Promise ~ Lissa Cristenn's Journal |
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TrisRed |
Mar 6 2011, 12:37 AM
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Knower

Joined: 4-March 11

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Hey there!
Here is the journal for my Redguard Lissa Cristenn.
Lissa is an Archress, she is very 'pro-female', so she refuses to be acknowledged as an archer, as she finds it sexist. She is 19, carefree and VERY unpredictable. She knows what she want and doesnt take no for an answer, whether she is encouraging her freinds or trying to haggle with a merchant.
I plan to write as much as my brain can handle, which will hopefully be well over 150 chapters, but it depends on the reception I get. I plan to write the journal in first person, to get a more in depth view of Lissa's personality.
Enjoy :D
Edit: I have recently had a complete overhaul of the first part of this chapter. All comments before my comment about the edit, were for the pre-edit
PROLOGUE ~ PART 1
Lissa. Get up.
Lissa, You need to get up now!
“LISSA!”
My eyes pried themselves open. The sun was shining through the window. Another sunny day in Anvil. Maelona was standing by my bed, her hands on her hips.
“Do you realise how long I’ve been calling you for?” Maelona hovered over me, grabbed my duvet and pulled it off the bed, leaving my body vulnerable to the cold air. “You have to get up. Mother wants you to meet her at the Mages Guild before you go and help Dad with the horses.” “But I had a lesson yesterday. Come on…” “Look, Liss, You know what Mother’s like. You know what you want to do in life and that’s good. But Mother wants you to be safe.” I groaned. “Well, you go and I’ll just copy your notes.” I smiled at Maelona, who smiled back. “Come on Sis, the sooner you get it done the sooner you can go and help dad.” She was right. Even though tending to the horses was not very thrilling, I got to spend some personal time with my dad, which hardly ever happens due to him being away a lot. I rose slowly out of my bed and put on some clothes. “There’s a good girl. Now hurry to the Guild. I’ve got to meet Gogan.”
* * *
“Now, what do we know about draining health?” I was sat at a desk in the Guild, tears of tiredness streaming down my face. Mother’s lessons were boring. That’s the only word to describe it. She was adamant that I become at least an Apprentice in Restoration before I set out on my adventures, But I was only 12. I wasn’t going anywhere just yet. “Mother, I know all this. To drain health you have to get up real close to the enemy then BAM, health draining goodness.” “Well, no, you have to touch the enemy to drain its health. Have you even been listening Lissa?” There was an awkward silence, but I spoke up. “No.” “Lissa!” “I’m sorry Mother, but I just don’t understand why I have to learn so much RIGHT now. I’m not leaving until I’m 21” Mothers eyes turned from angry, to sympathetic. She walked over from the bookshelf and perched next to me. Her hand touched mine. “I know honey, I’m sorry. It’s just that I worry. I just want you to be completely safe for when you venture out into the world. If I know that I’ve contributed to your safety, I won’t worry as much.” I felt incredibly guilty after Mother told me this. “Oh… sorry Mother. I didn’t know you felt like that. Ok… I wanna keep going.” “No, Lissa, You’re right. I’m pushing too much on you.” She stood up, walked over to the coat rack and grabbed my coat. “That’s enough for today. Go and see your Father.” Mother smiled at me. I ran up to her and kissed her on the cheek, grabbed the coat from her hand and left.
* * *
“LISSA!”
I turned to see Maelona running towards me. “You left this at home.” She was holding the jade necklace she bought me for my sixth birthday. My most treasured possession. “Oh, thanks, where’d you find it?” “Under your pillow. You need to take care of it. It’s magic, you know.” She smiled and handed me the necklace. “It sure is Mae. I gotta go see Dad. See you later.” We exchanged hugs and Maelona ran back towards Gogan. They were sitting by the big oak tree opposite the Mages Guild. Maelona spent all her time there. It seemed a bit boring to me. I headed to the main gate to get to the stables.
* * *
“Sorry honey but the horses are all sorted.” Dad leaned on the fence of the stables. We had a lot of horses, but not one of them were ours. “Oh… That’s ok. I’ll go back and see Mother, then.” “Actually, I had something else planned.” My eyes lit up. “Ooh, what is it?” Dad laughed. “Now if I told you that, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?” I was incredibly exited. Not only was I spending quality time with my Dad, but he had an amazing day planned. Things were looking perfect.
* * *
Dad and I went on a little journey along the Gold Coast. It was about as exciting as getting pinched by a mudcrab, but I loved it. I was with my dad. We were walking along the coast, the sun burning its gaze into our skin when Dad suddenly stopped in his tracks. My attention met with what caught his; a young Bosmer girl being chased by what I could only assume were bandits. Dad unsheathed his mighty Blade and said: "Honey, go back home. Daddy's gotta take care of somethin'." His tone was serious. Mine was not. "But Daddy, I wanna go with you. I'm not scared." He knelt down to my level. His eyes met mine. "I know you're not, honey, but do this for me. Ok?" After a pause I nodded, my eyes obviously showed my dissapointment. Dad kissed my forehead, rose to his feet and chased the Bandits.
After Dad was out of sight I headed back to Anvil. But then I stopped. I needed to know that Dad was ok, so I turned back around and ran in the direction my Dad had gone. I was disobeying his orders, and I didn't care.
The fresh footprints in the sand led to a solitary cave, which I entered without fear. All I could see was black. All I could hear was the lonley sound of water dripping from above. All I could feel was supressed fear.
I grabbed a torch that hung loosely from the cave wall. Luckily, i knew a minor flare spell, so lighting the torch was no big deal. It was big, though. I looked like an idiot holding it. The moment the heavy torch was lit, horror filled my body and caused my skin to freeze.
Bodies. Lots of bodies.
The bodies of the bandits, bodies of villagers... and the body of the Bosmer. The fear on her face terrified me. She looked so scared. Her eyes were haunting. The smell was horrible. Some of the bodies could have been there for days, or weeks, or months! That was a horrible thought. But what kind of monster could have done that?
But then I noticed something. Dad was nowhere to be seen.
And the dead had blade marks etched into their bodies. The weapon Dad took into the cave with him.
Only one question filled my head.
Did Dad do this?
This post has been edited by Rihanae: Mar 15 2011, 02:13 PM
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Formerly Rihanae <3
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Posts in this topic
Rihanae A Daughter's Promise ~ Lissa Cristenn's Journal Mar 6 2011, 12:37 AM mALX Welcome to the fic forums, and congrats on your fi... Mar 6 2011, 12:57 AM Ceidwad
Welcome to the fic forums, and congrats on your f... Mar 6 2011, 03:38 AM Acadian Welcome Rihanae! This is a nice introduction ... Mar 6 2011, 01:17 AM King Coin I'll be checking back for updates! Mar 6 2011, 02:22 AM SubRosa Welcome to the mosh pit Rihane!
Lissa's ... Mar 6 2011, 02:27 AM Rihanae
Welcome to the mosh pit Rihane!
Lissa's... Mar 6 2011, 12:33 PM Thomas Kaira Fun stuff! I would much like to see more! ... Mar 6 2011, 05:54 PM Rihanae I am using the internet on my touchscreen phone, w... Mar 6 2011, 06:05 PM ureniashtram An intriguing story; definitely draws the reader... Mar 6 2011, 07:04 PM SubRosa I saw two main things when I read the first episod... Mar 6 2011, 08:19 PM Rihanae
I saw two main things when I read the first episo... Mar 6 2011, 09:28 PM Ceidwad
I saw two main things when I read the first episo... Mar 7 2011, 01:11 AM SubRosa I would not start a new thread after just one post... Mar 6 2011, 09:50 PM haute ecole rider I'm with Sage Rose on her advice.
I would edi... Mar 6 2011, 09:55 PM Thomas Kaira I would also recommend reading "The Neveragai... Mar 6 2011, 10:09 PM Acadian And if your taste runs to beautifully powerful raw... Mar 6 2011, 10:59 PM TheOtherRick Great start to this story! :goodjob: I'll ... Mar 7 2011, 01:23 AM Rihanae I have edited the first part of the Prologue. The ... Mar 9 2011, 12:56 PM Grits
I have edited the first part of the Prologue. The... Mar 10 2011, 03:32 AM Acadian I reviewed your edited version. By golly you... Mar 10 2011, 02:54 AM SubRosa As Acadian said, a tremendous difference! :go... Mar 10 2011, 03:03 AM Thomas Kaira Much better job, Rihanae. :)
I will be following ... Mar 10 2011, 03:03 AM haute ecole rider Much, much more interesting. Now I want to know wh... Mar 10 2011, 03:43 AM Rihanae Thank you everyone for your comments on the re-wri... Mar 10 2011, 02:00 PM mALX This chapter is so sad! For sending your stor... Mar 10 2011, 02:45 PM Rihanae I am on a computor now. Doing it by phone is to ha... Mar 10 2011, 02:46 PM mALX
I am on a computor now. Doing it by phone is to h... Mar 10 2011, 03:35 PM Rihanae Haha, i'll take that as a compliment!
Ye... Mar 10 2011, 04:53 PM mALX
Haha, i'll take that as a compliment!
Y... Mar 10 2011, 05:26 PM Rihanae Again, thank you for the compliments :)
Btw for m... Mar 10 2011, 06:50 PM Thomas Kaira Don't worry about the readers! Just contin... Mar 10 2011, 10:32 PM Rihanae Thank you for the comments :)
My opinion of Bosme... Mar 10 2011, 10:43 PM SubRosa That was an exciting conclusion to the prologue... Mar 11 2011, 12:13 AM TheOtherRick First things first. Great job on the rewrite of th... Mar 11 2011, 01:18 AM Acadian You are really doing well with this concept of ... Mar 11 2011, 01:22 AM King Coin Well our protagonist seems to be skilled in magic ... Mar 11 2011, 02:10 AM Rihanae Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments :)
... Mar 11 2011, 11:11 PM Thomas Kaira By the way, don't worry too much about nits (b... Mar 11 2011, 11:15 PM Rihanae Thomas Kaira & SubRosa: Thank you both for the... Mar 12 2011, 01:34 PM King Coin
My name is Jakkel Smithin, but please, call me J... Mar 12 2011, 05:05 PM Count Lauriel This is fantastic Rihanae!
It's amazing t... Mar 12 2011, 03:59 PM Ceidwad Thomas Kaira - you can certainly begin a sentence ... Mar 12 2011, 04:35 PM Thomas Kaira
Thomas Kaira - you can certainly begin a sentence... Mar 12 2011, 07:59 PM  Ceidwad
Thomas Kaira - you can certainly begin a sentenc... Mar 12 2011, 10:00 PM Grits Rihanae, I am intrigued by your story. I enjoy Lis... Mar 12 2011, 04:45 PM Thomas Kaira Right, that's that messy business out of the w... Mar 12 2011, 08:44 PM Rihanae Edited :) Mar 12 2011, 10:02 PM SubRosa @ Ceidwad & Thomas Kaira: I suggest taking the... Mar 12 2011, 10:22 PM Thomas Kaira
@ Ceidwad & Thomas Kaira: I suggest taking th... Mar 12 2011, 10:37 PM Ceidwad Just to be clear, I am not trying to damage anyone... Mar 13 2011, 12:04 AM Acadian Wonderful! You have created a character that ... Mar 13 2011, 01:57 AM TheOtherRick A nice little piece of character building. And now... Mar 13 2011, 02:32 AM mALX GAAAAH! I love this chapter !!! ... Mar 13 2011, 03:47 AM Rihanae Count Lauriel: Thank you for a very positive respo... Mar 14 2011, 11:46 AM King Coin
Eww…
I lol'd at that
Good explanation of ... Mar 14 2011, 10:48 PM Count Lauriel Another fantastic section, Rihanae. You bring Liss... Mar 14 2011, 12:01 PM Rihanae Thank you for the advice. I put your segement in t... Mar 14 2011, 12:09 PM Count Lauriel You may wish to make it your own though. That was ... Mar 14 2011, 12:13 PM Rihanae
You may wish to make it your own though. That was... Mar 14 2011, 12:15 PM Count Lauriel Then all is well! :D Mar 14 2011, 12:18 PM Thomas Kaira Your character is quite whimsical. Make sure she t... Mar 14 2011, 09:45 PM SubRosa which I smuggled in my hair
So now we know she did... Mar 14 2011, 10:33 PM Destri Melarg Hi Rihanae. I’m Destri. I was hooked at ‘Redguar... Mar 15 2011, 12:23 AM Acadian This is great fun! Lissa continues to be a ch... Mar 15 2011, 01:28 AM Rihanae
Chapter 1:
This felt a little rushed to me. It... Mar 15 2011, 02:10 PM mALX I got a huge kick out of the lack of ability to co... Mar 15 2011, 10:53 PM Rihanae mALX: Again, thank you for the compliments. I... Mar 21 2011, 04:03 PM SubRosa I wanted to give the amulet to Jeffery so it was o... Mar 21 2011, 07:56 PM Acadian 'I thought I may as well do a bit of retail th... Mar 22 2011, 01:19 AM Thomas Kaira A very fun piece. What a neat twist have Rohssan b... Mar 22 2011, 01:51 AM King Coin Great chapter! I love the stop to see auntie... Mar 22 2011, 01:59 AM mALX
Funny !!
ROFL !!! Al... Mar 22 2011, 09:00 PM Destri Melarg Hmmm, it seems that SageRosa, the Acadi-editor, an... Mar 23 2011, 08:12 AM Rihanae Destri Melarg: Thank you for the kind words, i too... Mar 28 2011, 02:52 PM King Coin LOL I love Lissa's personality in this chapter... Mar 28 2011, 03:01 PM Acadian This was so very light and fun. Quite delightful... Mar 29 2011, 12:30 AM SubRosa You need to get to Jauffre NOW!”
Yep, this is ... Mar 29 2011, 01:09 AM mALX I gotta agree with KC, Lissa's personality sto... Apr 2 2011, 11:21 AM Rihanae Hey guys! Sorry it has taken so long for me to... Apr 12 2011, 01:41 PM SubRosa A nice little talk with Auntie Rohssan, and some b... Apr 12 2011, 05:05 PM King Coin That old guy really knows how to kill the mood rui... Apr 13 2011, 01:17 AM Rihanae I have made an edit for the journal. Each time an ... Apr 13 2011, 01:06 PM Grits Great, thanks for the pics! I would rather hav... Apr 13 2011, 01:52 PM mALX
ROFL !!! She likes tormenting her ... Apr 13 2011, 07:44 PM Acadian Some delightful interaction between Lissa and Riha... Apr 14 2011, 01:24 AM Thomas Kaira So, it really is that important for Lissa to get t... Apr 14 2011, 01:56 AM Rihanae Im thinking about writing a short fanfic about Jes... Apr 17 2011, 05:14 PM Lady Syl I have only just started reading this--I hope you ... Apr 17 2011, 05:32 PM Rihanae
I have only just started reading this--I hope you... Apr 17 2011, 06:35 PM Rihanae Just to let everybody know i am re-starting Lissa... Apr 18 2011, 02:35 PM SubRosa No worries. If you think you can improve things, t... Apr 18 2011, 09:21 PM Rihanae
No worries. If you think you can improve things, ... Apr 18 2011, 09:38 PM King Coin I'm looking forward to it! Apr 18 2011, 09:55 PM Acadian A new start, how exciting!
I found when I ... Apr 19 2011, 12:59 AM mALX <3 Apr 19 2011, 01:34 AM Rihanae The new versian is up. how would i go about gettin... Apr 20 2011, 05:37 PM King Coin just send one a message I imagine. Apr 20 2011, 05:39 PM
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