Serene of Cyrodiil, Chapter 8, Love and Death Options

[haute ecole rider]

First I apologize for not commenting sooner. I have been reading, but I haven't had anything to add coming behind so many of your fans.

The raw emotion throughout the past few posts have really punched me, the reader, as viscerally as if I had been there. I had a feeling a few posts ago that Ilmeni wouldn't survive this, when Serene made the comment about that second bolt going somewhere and she didn't take the time to see where it went. That's the hard part about battle - there's so much going on and you can only do one thing at a time. In that split second, it was about priorities - help the one who was hurt by that bolt, or stop the shooter from firing more and hurting more people. It's always a tough moral call, and you captured that beautifully here.

I will continue reading as long as you continue writing. Oh, and don't worry about the dogs at the NPP. They have better things on their minds than cats - like who smells like a terrorist? So far it doesn't seem like Al Qaeda has discovered the potential of tom cat urine as a weapon of terror. So as long as you aren't wearing a vest of C4, I think the dogs will leave you alone.

[mALX]

GAAAAH !!! Another new story I've missed seeing !! I'll have to catch up, sorry Minque !!!

[Grits]

How heartbreaking for Seth and Serene. I just finished the wedding scene from Sethyas’ POV in Memoirs of a Morag Tong Assassin. I am so impressed by how masterfully the stories intertwine. Characters move so smoothly between them.

[Destri Melarg]

I WANT ORVAS DREN’S HEAD!!!

That is all.

[Cardboard Box]

I WANT ORVAS DREN’S HEAD!!!

That is all.

First we sic the horny ogrim on him, then you can have his head. For an extra fee, we'll remove his cods with this teaspoon we found in the dungheap...

[minque]

I woke up with a cry, alone, the narrow bed was still damp from cold sweat. The horrid picture in the dream that made me awake was still before my eyes; Ilmeni Velas, lying in a pool of her own blood, with that astonished look in her face.

And it was my fault.

The realization of this made me cower and whine. I didn’t shed any tears; I was an empty shell, a black hole. A murderess.

“Renie, my love, stop it. Look at me, now! You must get up; come, let me help you.” Athyn more or less scooped me up in his arms and put me on my feet. I swayed; I didn’t open my eyes; I wasn’t ready to see the world yet. Question was if I ever wanted to see anything again.

I wanted to die. I didn’t deserve to be alive, when Ilmeni wasn’t. She was a good person, she never hurt anyone, she never shed anyone’s blood, and she was the incarnation of goodness.

And I caused her death.

Athyn wrapped the robe tighter around me and led me out of the chamber. I still kept my eyes closed.

“Now look here, my love; you may take a bath and I brought some clothes for you as well.”

I finally opened my eyes and found that Athyn had brought me to a small bathroom, where a hot bath was waiting for me. I was somewhat stunned; did Morag Tong assassins wash themselves?

A hot bath made me feel no better, but I could at least stand upright. Athyn was waiting outside the bathroom, handing me my ceremonial robe.

Athyn led me to a chamber I wouldn’t have found on my own, so many passages and winding corridors we passed before we finally arrived. The room was small but well equipped. It looked like an office of some high potentate. And it was. The elderly Dunmer who welcomed us had an aura of sheer power. He presented himself as Eno Hlaalu, the Grandmaster of Morag Tong. Apart from him there was only Sanvyn Llethri present.

“I assume you want some information, Archmaster.” Eno Hlaalu’s voice was dark and low, but the mer emanated so much power that the very air around him was affected.

I nodded; I didn’t trust my voice because of my difficulty breathing.

“Well, a Writ arrived this morning, a Writ for Orvas Dren, issued by the Duke himself. Sethyas has gone to execute it. I told the Temple authorities that this was a matter of Mephala’s; no one will dare rob him of his revenge. I thought you ought to know about it, Archmaster.” Eno pleaded

I still was unable to speak. So Seth was now out avenging his late wife. I nodded. It was inevitable, it had to happen, he needed to do it for his peace of mind, if he ever would get it.

“Dren has fled to his Plantation for the time being, but he will depart before this night ends. Sethyas must not let that happen. Mephala demands death,” Eno continued.

May Mephala protect him, oh may he be cautious, let him stay alive.

“It should have been me,” I whispered. “The Writ should have been for me.”

“Nonsense! Orvas Dren killed Ilmeni Velas; there’s no doubt of it.” Eno said dryly.

Athyn embraced me, holding me close.

“Do not accuse yourself, Serene, please. There was nothing you could have done.”

But there was. I knew it and Athyn knew it, but worst of all; Sethyas knew it, and that made my heart bleed.

“I will also inform you, Archmaster, that Sanvyn Llethri here has just joined the Morag Tong, and he’s going to get his first assignment tonight.” Eno interrupted my dark thoughts

I gasped and Sanvyn rushed to my side, taking my hand.

“It’s for you Sera; I want to increase my skills so I can protect you better. Besides, I want to follow in Sethyas’ footsteps.” Sanvyn pleaded. “Isn’t that right Serjo Sarethi?”

Athyn nodded.

It was high time to go home. I constantly shivered from cold even though it was rather warm in Eno Hlaalu’s chambers. The easiest way would have been the use of an Intervention spell, but I could not gather enough magica to cast one, especially not involving three persons, so we traveled the normal way, by gondola and Silt Strider.

I found it strange that I had not yet shed a tear for Ilmeni. I felt her loss deeply, but the tears did not come. Perhaps I had run out of them. Perhaps not. Or perhaps they would come at her funerary rites, which would be within three week’s time. As her friend and as Redoran Archmaster, I was expected to be there in the main procession.

If that would be possible. Could I take part in the procession? Could I even be at the funeral? I, who caused her death? My mind was full of doubt, of emptiness.

I lay in bed for three days after our homecoming, physically sick out of remorse and depression.

I did not see Sethyas during the time prior to the funeral; I had no idea where he was, and I didn’t want to know. I couldn’t bear to see him; he had lost two of the most important women in his life, first his sister, and now his wife. Was Mephala or some other entity determined to ensure that he never had any measure of happiness? Besides, the woman he turned to in his grief was the one who caused him the worst pain…Me!



The day of Ilmeni’s funeral I arose early, after a night filled with nightmares and lack of sleep. I looked awful; I was skinnier than ever; my hair was dull and sad and I was constantly cold. I had to put on a lot of extra clothing under my dark red ceremonial robe, just to fill it out.

We arrived at the Dren Ancestral Tomb together with the entire Redoran Council. The Hlaalu Nobles greeted us with courtesy; a day like today the war hammers were buried; we all shared the sad moments. A bit offside I noticed two Bards with lutes, unrecognizable due to their hoods covering their faces. There was something familiar about them though…

Vedam Dren’s eyes were raw with tears and grief. He beheld Sethyas with a sad countenance as he arrived off of a small rowboat. He took him in with a fierce embrace, and shook with grief as he cried once more.

“The greatest sorrow is when a parent must bury his child. I had hoped for reconciliation with Orvas; that as my brother, he might eventually see the light. I know you felt that too, and that is why he lived until the night you avenged my daughter. How was his death?” The Duke asked Seth with a broken voice.

“His death was as his life, brutal. I believe I sent him into the next world with some idea of the pain he caused in this one.” Sethyas retorted calmly

“Thank you for that. But the time has come to bury two members of the Dren Family. And I feel the loss is more than most can stand. I confess, that I had considered suicide. But I must be strong to lead our people, Sethyas. And for Ilmeni. She wouldn’t have wanted that. She wouldn’t even have wanted revenge, but Orvas had gone too far, was too much of a threat. I pray that the Tribunal forgives me…” The Duke said as the small gathering of the Dren Family and priests carried the remains of both Orvas and Ilmeni into the Ancestral tomb.

As the procession approached the Tomb, I heard the faint sound of lutes, and the tune they were performing made me shiver; it was the song Athyn once sang for me, so beautiful and sad:

What a wondrous love it is
To bind two souls in faith,
Chained completely together
With never a false word,
Weal and woe, wish and real,
Woven each together
From first kiss to last breath,
First and last, whispered in love

Then, at last the tears came, like a waterfall they flowed down my face; I swayed but Athyn held his arm around my waist, or I would have fallen to the ground.

The Tomb’s doors opened. The torchlight flickered in the rancid air of the resting place, and the undead guardians of the tomb let the family pass through without a quarrel, sensing the kinship. Ilmeni lay with her uncle, in coffins that over time would be reduced to ash.

Then I recognized the Bards. With their hoods down out of courtesy to the dead, their faces were revealed; Tredyn Venim, outcast son of Bolvyn, who had joined House Hlaalu and now was in the Duke’s service. Beside him was Delyna Mandas, daughter of Arethan, a Redoran noble! The couple seemed to know each other extremely well. It made me feel just a little bit better.

We departed outside, and the wake lasted several hours. People spoke of fond memories of Ilmeni. The Arvels, friends of the family, where there; and a similar scattering of Slaver nobles and abolitionist offspring also attended.

Sethyas spoke with many of the attendees, making mention of the funerary rites, and sharing some of his memories of her- the way she laughed, the way she looked at him sometimes. The Duke was by his side, merely to seek comfort, for he remained mostly silent.

I watched from the side. This was his moment, and I wouldn’t interfere. I, too, had memories of Ilmeni; she saved my life after dueling Bolvyn Venim, she and Seth. And I couldn’t save her in return!

I noticed that Sethyas shed just a few tears when he was speaking with the Duke. He was keeping his pain to himself, like a true Assassin. This made me feel even worse than before; I leaned towards Athyn and cried silently. Dark thoughts swirled through my tormented mind:

I do not deserve to live. I need to end this painful life.

A hand was on my shoulder, a hard grip, almost painful;

That for sure won’t make anything better. Cry for me instead; you’re far better at it than I am.

I looked up, but his face was empty and closed, only the reddened eyes showed his unspeakable pain.

The moment lasted a few seconds, then Athyn took his hands and said something. I didn’t hear.

“….get back to Ald’ruhn, right dearest?

I don’t remember anything from the journey back. But what I do remember is the blue vial Athyn forced me to drink when we came home. The content was unknown to me but the effect was astonishing.

[Athynae]

Putting a pain like that into words is no easy thing but being able to describe it in such a way that the reader feels it with you is a talent very few possess. I also know for the writer the writing of it is sometimes, actually most times, even more intense.

The death of Ilmeni was not of Serene's doing but I know all too well that tendency to take onto oneself the responsibility for the things we have no control over especially when those things hurt someone we love.

Thank you for another wonderfully written post.

Hope all is going well in the barracks, thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way.

[mALX]

OH! A four story crossover !!! Secrets revealed !!! The marriage presided over by Vivec was AWESOME !!!

[Acadian]

’That was the night Sethyas got married and I got a sister, and it was also the night we both lost her.’
Tragic and powerfully written.

We can feel everything that Serene is experiencing, as your words really make her come alive. The passion you have for her leaps off the page and into our hearts.

[minque]

So at last! The minque is back on track again. It felt good putting words together, not only keeping them in my mind. Then of course without the famous dachshund it wouldn't have even been possible....

THANK YOU treydog, my inspiration, my teacher, MY FRIEND!!

********************************************************************************


Life went on. It had to; there was no other option, not for me anyway. I buried myself in work, pure work. Despite the fact that I had many good people taking care of business, I just had to interfere and double check everything. Of course that was my way of dealing with the gruesome death of Ilmeni. Perhaps I hoped that the vision of all those reports and ledgers would block out my last sight of her bleeding form on the steps of the canton in Vivec.

But it couldn’t go on much longer; I was actually causing more problems than I was solving by trying to do everything myself. Varvur Sarethi, for one, was not happy with me interfering in his affairs. He was, after all, responsible for the EEC, and I had appointed him to that position. But now I was checking up on him, quite unnecessarily, in his opinion.

“Please Archmaster, this can’t go on anymore; you just need to give me a break. I know how to run the business; you need not check every transaction I make.” Varvur was sitting in front of me in my study, his normally calm face reflecting his upset.

I was about to answer him when the door was flung open and Mistress Brara Morvayn appeared, just like that, not waiting to be announced. She marched right up to my side of the desk and firmly snapped shut the ledger that lay in front of me.

“My dear Archmistress, this can’t go on any longer. You definitely need a break.”

When I waved a weak hand at all the papers on my desk, she dismissed them with a sniff and a much firmer wave of her own. “I’ve already spoken to Serjo Sarethi and Serjo Mandas; they are taking care of things while YOU, my dear Serene, will just follow me.”

Her tone indicated that there would be no dissuading her from the course she had charted.

Still, I felt as if leaving the certain solidity of my desk would set me adrift on unknown waters. I protested: “But… I can’t ..I need to….”

“Nonsense dear girl! YOU will come with me, NOW!”

I slowly rose from the chair, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed Varvur smiling faintly.

Brara linked her arm through mine and led me to my dressing room. She urged me to dress up a bit, and then she told me what she was up to.

“You need a change of scenery,” she said. “Athyn and Arethan will take care of whatever needs to be taken care of while you and I are off on a shopping trip. Best thing for you- trust me on this.”

I nodded. Maybe she was right. I needed to get out of Sarethi Manor, out of Under Skar, away from rooms and faces that caused me to remember the things I wanted to forget.

“We’re off to Vivec,” Brara smiled when I was ready and dressed up in my red dress and Redoran robe. “There’s an art-fair going on in the Foreign Quarter, and I think it will be very interesting. There’s a new artist from Cyrodiil who is displaying her fine paintings. When I heard, I was sure you would like to see her work.”

We took the strider to Vivec, and walked over the bridge to the Foreign Quarter. Going back to Vivec was hard at first, but it was a bright, sunny Loredas morning, and the air smelled of the sea and of new growth. Life continues, I reminded myself. I do not honor the dead by trying to lock myself away in a tomb of papers. I actually enjoyed walking here with Brara; she didn’t talk much, she merely was there, present without intruding, and it made me feel better and better. Of course my heart was still sore from the passing of Ilmeni Velas and her funeral. I felt bad for Sethyas, who I hadn’t seen since the funeral. I was actually relieved at his absence; I was not ready to see him; the guilt we both felt was still too fresh.

The Vivec Foreign Quarter Plaza was crowded, and a number of merchants and craftspeople had taken advantage of the weather to set up stalls along the walkways. We threaded through the crowd to the upper level, where the art-fair proper was being held. This was the area reserved for the finest artists and artisans- jewelers, weapon-smiths, and painters. The sight of the blades and other implements of death brought a pain to my chest, but Brara just held my hand tighter and kept me moving until we reached a set of folding screens and easels adorned with paintings.

The first thing I noticed was the painting right at the front, a large canvas in a simple wooden frame- it looked like I could walk right into it. And if I had, it would have been a walk I had taken many times before, into the Nibenay valley, about one or two kilometres south from the Imperial City. It was beautiful, very thorough and also frightening for me. It awoke memories from my past. I used to spend quite some time wandering in that region. I recognized almost every tree, every part of the green landscape. I went closer…to see if the painter had included the Dunmer settlement…. I think I might have fallen into the waters of the Niben if a voice had not drawn me back.

“Greetings Archmaster of House Redoran. It’s an honor to have you here visiting my humble showing.” The clear, deep voice made me look up. The accent was as familiar as the landscape that held me enthralled. It sounded like… like the home that had been torn from me so many years ago. But that was then and now I needed to recall my manners. Before me stood an Imperial woman, tall and slender, with her red hair in a simple but ravishing style. Her dark blue eyes looked right into mine and she stretched her hand out to me,

“My name is Baria Doyella, and I hope you like my work.”

I took the woman’s hand and nodded, yes I liked her work, even if it sent chills down my spine…. The Dunmer settlement was there, there in the painting, just as I remembered it from my past.

As I looked back at the painting, at the representation of my previous life, I allowed the old memories to come out… and I realized that I felt at peace with them. I clearly remembered the events at the settlement, but despite how painful they had been, I felt good! Those events were the very reason I was standing there now, the very reason for my current life, for better or for worse. But somehow things had fallen into place and I was thankful for what had happened to me…then, because I wouldn’t have been here- I wouldn’t have met Athyn, Sethyas and all the others that were so important to me. I wouldn’t have been alive at all if those event had not happened.

“Mistress Baria, I love your work. It just triggered so many memories, as I grew up just there in the Niben area,” I whispered. “I’m just overwhelmed with your wonderful paintings.”
The artist smiled and I saw, for a brief moment, a shadow cross behind her eyes. In that instant, I knew she understood far more than my nostalgia for the landscape she had recreated. She gestured toward a cushioned bench inside her little enclosure and said,

“Ladies, please sit down. I’ll get you something refreshing.”

Brara and I sat down, and I must have had a strange look on my face because Brara just took my hand and patted it. “See, Serene, you are going to be fine, just wait and see.”

Baria came back with comberry wine and sweetrolls, and we enjoyed her cheerful way of telling about herself and her work. She was originally from Chorrol but had come to the City to study art, then she started painting and found out she was good, enough to at least try to make a living out of it. This was her first visit to Vvardenfell and she had decided to stay here for some time so she rented a flat in St Delyn.

“The light here is different than back in Cyrodiil, you see. Maybe it is because of Red Mountain, or perhaps because it is an island. But it is so different from home. And,” she paused for a moment and looked away, “I… needed a change.”

It was clear that there was something there, and equally clear that she did not wish to talk about it, at least not yet. I looked at her right hand and saw the ring that would normally have been on her left- if her husband still lived. The shape of the stone was familiar to me- it was of the sort favored by the high-ranked families from which came most of the Imperial Legion’s generals and commanders.

I decided to keep my observations to myself, and instead told her a bit of my past, but it seemed she already knew quite a bit about me, at least since I had become a Councilor and then Archmaster of House Redoran. The three of us talked about Vvardenfell, and Baria asked about locations that might be worthy subjects for new landscapes. She did not seem to mind that we were taking so much of her time, listening avidly as Brara and I told about some of the events in Ald’ruhn.

Talk of the seat of Redoran affairs brought me back to present, and I knew I would have to get back to my work. We looked through all of the paintings Baria had on display and I bought three that showed different views around the City island, among them the big one from the Niben area. I felt I needed that painting. Baria said she would come to Ald’ruhn to deliver the paintings as soon as the fair was over. I looked forward to her visiting; I felt as if we had very much in common actually.

A week later one of the retainers announced a visitor to Sarethi Manor. It was Baria Doyella, ravishing in her emerald green travel robe and shiny dark red hair. She carried a large leather case tied with ribbons and containing my three paintings.

“I don’t know if I will ever get used to riding on those silt-strider things,” she laughed. “I will admit they are much smoother than the carriages back in Cyrodiil, but there is just something odd about be carried around by a giant bug!”

I was happy to see her again not only for bringing my paintings, but also because she made me feel good; her joy and vivid appearance were a light that my wounded spirit felt drawn toward.

“Baria! How good to see you again,” I greeted her heartily. ”Athyn this is Baria Doyella, the painter I told you about! Baria, meet Athyn Sarethi, councilman of House Redoran and my husband to be.”

Baria and Athyn shook hands and it seemed that they both liked what they saw.

As courtesy bade, we had comberry wine in the reception area of Sarethi Manor, where we talked for a while. Then suddenly Baria burst out:

“Oh my new friends I must tell you about something that happened to me a couple of days ago,” she smiled. “You see I was out finding nice scenes to paint. I had gone toward Ebonheart, as you and Brara suggested. And ...well, I had finished for the day and had gathered my supplies, canvas, paintbrushes and all, and was on my way home when I literally BUMPED into a man, or,” she made a vague gesture, “HE bumped into me outside of that Aurane woman’s apothecary shop! Of course I dropped my gear and was rather annoyed about it when I looked up to see what sort of thug dared to go blundering around knocking into women….” Baria went silent for a while, and I got a feeling inside as if I had a premonition of what was to come next.

“His eyes, Serene!” Baria said, “His eyes were such an intense BLUE! And he was tall…definitely a Breton. Oh I can’t get him out of my head; I’ve been a bit shaken since… I so wonder who he is! And anyway, he was wearing a shirt in the same red as your dress the day you came to the art-fair, so I was hoping you might know who he is? Amazing man.”

She blushed then and said, “I’m sure I’m just being foolish. How could you possibly know some fellow who was probably just passing through Vivec on his way from one place to another…”

Athyn and I looked at each other- we were both sure who the man was.

I took Baria’s hand in both of my own as Athyn smiled at her and said, “You have met Trey of High Rock, Miss Doyella, the Hortator of all the great Houses. And,” he added with an even wider smile, “one of my fellow Redoran councilors. You should be very honored, madam.”

I nodded my agreement. She had met Trey and that had obviously had a great impact on her, emotionally at least.

Baria looked at us, slowly nodding her head. “Hmm. I wonder what this Hortator’s whereabouts are and if it would be appropriate to pay him a visit?” Then her expression grew pensive. “Of course, as Hortator and councilor, I imagine he has a wife and family…?”

I smiled. “Bal Isra is his home and he is not married. As to an introduction, I believe Athyn and I had some House business we needed to discuss with Trey? So, since we are going that way we, can provide you an escort.”

That evening after we had supper, Athyn escorted Baria Doyella to Bal Isra to meet the Hortator, Trey of High Rock. I hoped everything would turn out fine. As events transpired, things turned out even better than I had hoped

[mALX]

Welcome back to the Fics Minque! I love the network of crossovers in your/Blackie/Treydoggie/and Athynae's stories! How cool, and it keeps you all supporting each other that way, lol. Awesome to have you back!

[treydog]

WELCOME BACK SERENE!

It is so good to see this wonderful story being continued. And the mentions of Baria and Trey humble me, as do your introductory words. And I have plenty about which to be humble, as I see a number of places where I rushed the edit... (oooofff- bad dachshund). I will plead being overly-thrilled to see new words on the page and therefore not being my usual deliberate (read "snail-like") self.

Enough of that. What I see here is the long time away has done nothing to lessen your deep understanding of Serene and your ability to bring her thoughts and feelings to your avid readers. It was so easy to identify with her mixed feelings as she walked the sun-lit plazas of Vivec.

Wonderful my dear friend, simply wonderful. (Doggie-introduced typos and all ).

[haute ecole rider]

Loved seeing Serene pick up her story yet again. Makes the drought disappear in a flash!

So Trey has wonderful blue eyes? Sounds an awful lot like a certain Imperial/Nord . . .

I did see a few nits that our forum doxie missed. But I was having too much fun visiting with Serene and Athyn and Trey and Baria to spend time picking them out. I also spent the WHOLE DAY editing my team's powerpoint presentation and I refuse to do any more editing!

Glad you're back to writing, minque!

[Athynae]

Deep breath, like closing your eyes when you have just watched an amazing sunset...I am so extremely happy to see these words, so overjoyed at your return to the story that words are escaping me (and if you haven't noticed by the BOTM posts I am not often short of words)

This is a wonderful piece to celebrate your return and will, as more story comes, offer me more background for Athynae's heritage. The picture you paint here is as incredible as the painting you describe, perfect in it's own way, Serene is BACK!!!!

Welcome home my friend, welcome home.

[McBadgere]

Wow...

Fair dues, as a first thing I've ever read of yours...That was pretty amazing stuff right there...

Loved it all, from the way Serene was hiding from the recent pain in her office (both literal and figurative) to her being dragged to meet the artist...

Brilliant picture painting there... ...(You see what I did there?... )...

That's some amazing writing, I'm so glad you've decided to do more...As I'm always in awe of the writing of the three others it seems only fitting that I be in awe of yours too... ...

I award you your very first -

Absolutely nice one!!

and, not to forget an

*Applauds most heartily*...

And after this episode, I forsee them not stopping anytime soon... ...

*Continues to applaud*...

[treydog]

(Ahem)

(Checks date of last update. Checks calendar. Taps doggie foot. Raises eyebrow in inquiry).

If forced to, I will deploy the sad puppy-dog eyes also....

[Kiln]

Wow, I hadn't noticed this had been updated. It is great to see you writing again Minque!

It has literally been years since you updated so it was kind of shocking (in a good way) to see it.

I'm going to have to go back and read a bit of the previous pages to get my bearings but I'm overjoyed to see your story moving forward.

[minque]

(Ahem)

(Checks date of last update. Checks calendar. Taps doggie foot. Raises eyebrow in inquiry).

If forced to, I will deploy the sad puppy-dog eyes also....

Ach sweet treydoggie! It won't be long now, I kinda know what will happen next....be patient with me I will continue this! I'm currently RP-ing, and that helps!