Tides of Oblivion, Running never solved anything, but it sure puts it off Options

[mALX]

Ah, she is out of the dungeon at last !! Now I'll get to see where you are going with your character/story !! Can't wait to see more, you have a very interesting writing style !!

[liliandra nadiar]

And I'm back from Skyrim, Star Wars: The Old Republic, an annoying run of writer's block and a week long illness. Time management for the win I hope, I'll probably be down to once a week at best in updating since the initial rush has now worn off.

@McBadgere: Huh, how'd that make it through two different edit runs? o.O I always felt the cavern/goblin portion of the Tutorial was nothing more then a game mechanic/gear up opportunity and felt rather over contrived. So for Myrin, I cut it out totally.

@King Coin: It's those half-reman novellas she isn't reading. We have the GUI telling us this guy is Baurus, that guy is Glenroy and so forth, Myrin just has what she sees and hears, and the Blades didn't exactly introduce themselves at any point.

@SubRosa: Glad you like my (and by extension Myrin's) rather odd sense of humor. The 'mystery' around her father and his words will be cleared up, but not for until what I tentatively have listed as chapter 5. No, not those watchmen, though that would make for an interesting crossover fic.

@Acadian: I'd have to agree with you on the take of magic. Of the four long running fics I've read/been reading so far, each have a bit of a different take on it.

@treydog: Thanks for the kind words and I apologize for the errors, I've got a friend doing beta reading, but neither of us are professional writers or English majors so I regret I’ll probably be inflicting more on you.

@mALX: I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of hints as most of her path isn't clear to me either just yet. Still working on several points.

------
2:1 The Kindness of Strangers
27th Last Seed

As much as I would've liked to spend several hours letting the motion of the water and breeze play across me, I did have at least a few things I had to do. Well, after a dip under the water to clean my 'clothes' (Need to replace those rags, literally, soon!), my hair, and my skin of at least most of the gunk and grime from my surprisingly eventful morning and afternoon. While the rags were on some mostly flat rocks, I indulged myself in a swim. Though I saw the snake-like forms of slaughterfish in the water, they must have eaten well enough to not consider charging me. Still, no point in tempting things, I kept well clear of them. Even better, I spotted several clam beds fairly close the shoreline with a few pearls I could sell next time I was in a city, or at least one that wouldn't throw me back in prison.

When what was passing for my clothes were dry, though the skin they were resting against wasn't quite as much so, I felt elven enough to start on my task. First I just had to figure out how to get there from an island. Swimming was possible, though risky with the slaughterfish around Rumare, waterwalking would be a better plan. Next issue, do I cross here and go the opposite direction of Chorrol or walk around Imperial Isle and hope there aren't any curious Legionaries or 'helpful' citizens. I shrugged and set north along the lake shore, I'd have to walk along one edge or another anyways and I was already here, besides, if I remembered right, I might find some help further up north.

I gave the distant arches of white stone on the far shore a passing look as I set out. I had only occasionally seen any of the infamous Ayleid ruins along the coastline of the Niben River, Captain Patneim was very paranoid about them and utterly refused to let me be on deck when one was in sight of the ship. I guess some Imperials believed that any elf looking at one would... what... go enslave every human she saw and string their innards for decoration? I shook my head at the stupidity mortals were always willing to place on themselves and moved on. I had time now I think, maybe I'll go looking at one sometime.

Magnus was settling himself comfortably beyond Hammerfell when I found what I was looking for. A campfire was burning softly surrounded by several tents set a few paces in front of a cave. The camp was within sight of the Lake and a small dock stretching into it. I could make out two forms moving around the camp, one obviously a bes by their tail, a Khajiit probably. The other was a slender figure with pale skin, a Nord or Imperial woman by the sway of her hips.

The Imperial Isle smuggler camp. I nodded, The Captain had made good business with smuggling and was on good terms with the black market suppliers. Now the question was, was he on good terms with these ones and, much more importantly, would they care that I had been. I kept kneeling in the grass while I tried to work out if the risk was worth it.

I apparently took too long, the Imperial archer facing me when she shouted and pulled the bow from her back, the Khajiit was on the far side of the camp and running, a very large iron hammer being pulled from behind his back. So much for talking. I pulled the sword out and called a shield up as I surged away from the rock I was kneeling by.

As I moved, the Imperial fired an arrow at me, fortunately her aim was off from my movement and it snapped against the boulder behind me. I dodged the other way as she swore, and then stumbled back from my charge. She tripped over a tent rope and sprawled on her back in the dirt, emitting a string of unladylike oaths. However, the Khajiit moved faster then I had hoped and he was there cutting me off before I could deal with the archer, his hammer swinging toward my gut.

The wind exploded out from me, even through the flashing gold of the shield, and sent me to my knees. The bes growled as he lifted his hammer for an immediate meeting with my skull. Forcing my way past the horse sitting on my chest, I desperately jerked my left arm up at him. My boney elbow impacted on him, and from the sudden squeak, I doubted he would be making kittens anytime soon. The dirt thumped from the impact of his dropped hammer behind his back and I launched myself once more toward the Imperial woman.

She had managed to get to her feet before me, but her bow staff was not in her hands, instead she was pulling out a dagger. My sword crossed the distance first and with my charge, broke any plans she might have had as the blade cut into the thick fur armor she had as protection across her chest. With the energy from my lunge, the two of us fell back down, though I managed to turn it into a roll and keep the handle in my hand. I owe Dahlia a drake it seemed, didn’t think that trick would actually work. Wasn’t a good roll though, I ended up stretched out on my back instead of on my feet. Need to tuck in tighter next time.

The roar of a very angry lion lanced behind me while I was still on my back. Looking 'up' I saw the Khajiit had recovered and was bringing his hammer down once more. No way would my shield stand up to a blow like that. Bringing the sword up, I spared a very brief prayer that I had judged right. My arms rocked as the song of metal against metal pierced the late afternoon air. Rather belatedly, I realized holding the other end of the sword, while good for blocking, was bad when both sides had edges. I felt the length bite into the heel of my hand as the shield weakened.

"This one will powder your bones for what you did." I never really appreciated Khajiit's teeth; they really were rather intimidating to see up close. Trying to dismiss the irrelevant thought, I found I was not going to be moving my hands unless my furry friend moved his hammer. And it seemed he was happy to let things stand as I cut my own hand off.

Where the idea came from, I have no idea, but I was not in any position to dismiss anything. I called some runes up into the palm of my bleeding hand and dumped as much magicka into it that my frantic mind could pull up. There was crack and the air singed as the Khajiit seemed to jump back with a yowl. My arm was totally numb from the backlash of the shock grasp that had connected our two weapons. Don’t think just do it, you s'wit. I rolled over and scrambled up, ignoring the blasts of pain and only hearing the thunderous pound of wind cracked sails in my ears and an overly white world as I lashed out with my sword in wide arcs. I felt resistance on the second and third swing but nothing on the fourth.

The urgency of the moment left me then and things began to clear up. The Khajiit was sprawled out in front of me, a long cut along one arm and another across his throat. The sword thumped onto the ground next to me as I tried to remember how to breathe. It took several tries before I was able to still my mind enough to cast the needed healing spells. I licked my lips as I looked between the two bodies and my trembling hands before tears blurred the world once more.

I don't think I cried too long, though with Magnus on the other side of the city and its walls, it was rough to guess. I felt, calm at least, not better, but calm again. I was alive, they weren't. Deal with the rest later, I probably wouldn’t be alone long. As I got back to my feet, I caught sight of something tossed against the side of one of the tents. The tanned leather cuirass wasn’t a perfect fit, but it was close enough and was worlds better then the rags 'protecting' my modesty already.

screenshot

Picking the sword up and returning it to its sheath, I set off north once more with a very determined stride. I don’t believe I’ll make any more stops at smuggler camps, I thought. Just get to the northern bridge and get into the Great Forest. Then I can pretend I’m a red headed wood elf or something.

~~~
2nd Heart Fire

I ran down the hallway with the creature behind me. My feet were striking the bone-like material that made up the keep. The crimson tinged light flickering through the air was oppressively hot and moved through the tunnels as though it was some gigantic beast. There was a bright light from up a room ahead; a yellowish white beacon that flickered slightly in time to the tortured scream of thousands of souls. Spines of black bone thrust through stretched red flesh every dozen feet in the corridor of black bone while ghost images of horrific beasts and men marched with malicious intent toward the light.

I really wanted to be somewhere else, but the only ways I could go was to the screaming light or behind me and into the waiting embrace of the beast behind me. The crack of breaking bones to my right was all the warning I had before a taloned hand wrapped around my throat and jerked me into a side room and cast me onto the unyielding floor.

"This one wondered how long the prey would run." The voice of the Khajiit sounded oddly hollow as his shadowed bulk stood against the muted light from outside.

"Everyone gets here eventually; it was just a matter of having patience." A woman's smooth voice came from my right. "But I think the poor dear's frightened. Be a good lad and make a light would you?" There was a rasping chuckle from my other side followed shortly by a flash of light that soon settled into a steady torch flame. The Khajiit gave me a double grin from his muzzle and the jagged hole across his throat that was still seeping blood.

My startled cry and scramble lead me against a wall as an Imperial woman, blood pulsing out from the smooth hole through her heart spraying the air before her, smiled pleasantly at me. "Now dear, no need for that. Why we're all friends here aren't we?"

The rasping chuckle came again as a young Imperial boy, his neck a mass of singed flesh just slightly thinner than it should be, stepped up holding a torch made from someone's leg, the purple cloth burning merrily. "Don't be so cold." He hissed at me, "We're going to be spending a long time with each other; you'll warm up to us eventually." All three shared a laugh as the boy tossed the burning leg on me. I screamed as my clothes ignited followed by my hair and skin and there was nowhere for me to go.

I pushed off against the tree and rolled across the dirt before I finished waking up and realizing I wasn't burning. My breath rattled in my chest and my hair clung wetly to my skin as my arms trembled.

"Cacat..." I bit out as I rolled to my back and looked at amethyst light of Masser filtering through the scattered tree limbs. It was the fifth night I had that nightmare and I was seriously starting to consider forgoing sleep ever again. Most of the tatters of the dream always faded when I woke up, but the flesh and bone keep with its screaming light was always clear. I would be quite happy to never see that place again, in dreams or otherwise. I doubted I would be so lucky though, the dream had too many elements I was sure was coming from my mysticism.

Pulling myself to my feet, I walked back to my sort of camp and leaned against my pillow tree and looked over eastern Tamriel. Thankfully, the trip west had been far quieter after my encounter at the smuggler camp. After I crossed the north bridge I set my path straight west and stayed off any roads or paths, a few scrapes with a pair of wolves was the only problem. The less said about my bumbling attempt at dressing the wolves for meat and pelts the better. As it was, I had been fairly hungry since yesterday. Unless I missed my guess, I would probably get to Chorrol at or a bit after sundown tonight, find an Inn and get my first real meal since this insanity started almost a week ago.

screenshot

As I leaned against the tree, I spotted the faintest hint of Magnus dusting the sky with his return. Pushing off with a sigh, I set about gathering parts of my pathetic little camp. No way I was going to be getting any more sleep now, might as well start the last push to Chorrol, Weynon Priory and Grandmaster Jauffre.

This post has been edited by liliandra nadiar: Jan 18 2012, 01:51 AM

[McBadgere]

Excellent!!...Nice one...

Loved it...Brilliantly descriptive and fun too...

My boney elbow impacted on him, and from the sudden squeak, I doubted he would be making kittens anytime soon.

Ow... ...

There's loads of other extremely cool things I could quote like Trey did, but it'd take too long... ...

Two teeny sentence ouchies...

My arms rocked as the song of metal against metal pierced the late afternoon day

I'm not sure if there should be a comma after the rocked, the second metal or both..or neither...My brain keeps telling me different things ...But either lose the "day" at the end or put an "of the" before it...

And...

My feet striking the bone-like material that made up the keep in the crimson-tinged twilight flickering in through air oppressively hot that moved in the tunnels as though it was some gigantic beast.

This is too long a sentence...It's brilliant, but too long without any punctuation...I think... ...

My feet striking the bone-like material that made up the keep. The crimson-tinged twilight flickering in through air, oppressively hot, that moved in the tunnels as though it was some gigantic beast.

Maybe?...

Dunno...

But I absolutely loved this, and I'm well looking forward to more!!... ...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

This post has been edited by McBadgere: Jan 17 2012, 12:56 PM

[Athynae]

I do love the story so far, it is pretty intense with some exceptional imagery. Let's do keep it up shall we.

The sentence that McB quoted:

My feet striking the bone-like material that made up the keep in the crimson-tinged twilight flickering in through air oppressively hot that moved in the tunnels as though it was some gigantic beast.

How about this:

My feet were striking the bone-like material that made up the keep. The crimson tinged light flickering through the air was oppressively hot and moved through the tunnels as though it was some gigantic beast.

BTW, I love the color and intensity of the thought here, I do like writing that offers such a description that I can FEEL what the character feels. Good stuff!!!

Waiting for more!!

[SubRosa]

Ahh, the ceremonial bath after exiting the sewer, plus a relaxing swim. Like Myrin, my first time through the game I was worried I'd be arrested if I went back to the city as well.

I have been playing Morrowind lately, and boy what a difference swimming is in that game. Every time you step into the water, you are entering the arena. The slaughterfish and dreughs come from half a mile away to kill you, in gangs. The devs obviously listened to people complaining about how taking a bath was suicide, because the behavior of the slaughterfish in Oblivion was seriously toned down.

I guess some Imperials believed that any elf looking at one would… what… go enslave every human she saw and string their innards for decoration?
Hmm, well the Imperials might have a point...

I never really appreciated Khajiit’s teeth; they really were rather intimidating to see up close.
I loved this observation, in the thick of it all.

Well so much for smuggler hospitality. At least they were kind enough to give her some armor though? Her thought about pretending to be a red-haired wood elf gave me more than faint smile.

I loved the nightmare. Myrin's conscience is coming back to haunt her. One observation however it was a bit confusing at first. For a moment I thought you had jumped ahead to her closing an Oblivion Gate. I suggest you italicize the text for things like dreams or flashbacks, so the reader knows it is not 'normal' text.

And like the others, I loved the final pic.



nits:
one obviously a bes by their tail, a Khajiit probably.
I think you meant a beast, or beastfolk?

However, the Khajiit moved was faster then I had hoped
I think the was is a leftover from a previous edit?

The bes growled as he lifted his hammer for an immediate meeting with my skull.
The old bes again. Are you using that as a term to replace beast-folk? No complaints on my part if you are. ES could use better terms for all of its races.

might as well start the last push to Chorral, Weynon Priory and Grandmaster Jauffre.
That is Chorrol.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jan 17 2012, 05:34 PM

[liliandra nadiar]

The old bes again. Are you using that as a term to replace beast-folk? No complaints on my part if you are. ES could use better terms for all of its races.

Ah, yes. I came up with calling the beast races 'bes', close enough to beast while still keeping the feel (I hope at least) of the man/mer.

While I was trying to give a jarring feeling of the transition to dream but if it was too much I can stick with a more obvious transtion indication.

The 'was' wasn't quite left from a previous edit, that paragragh was where the block was until my beta gave me it to help me get over it and getting the fight rolling, must've missed that bit when plugging it in.

@McBadgere, Athynae,

Thanks for that, that sentance was bothering me as well but I just couldn't seem to re-work it in a way that satisfied me.

[Acadian]

So glad to see you continuing this! It was fun to see Myrin make her choices after her escape from the prison and sewers.

’I felt elven enough to start on my task.’
I really like your use of ‘elven’ here!

’I was alive, they weren't. Deal with the rest later, ’
Simple, but effective. You go, girl! What a tense battle with those bandits.

’Then I can pretend I’m a red headed wood elf or something. ’
I’m with SubRosa in loving this!

The dream was very neat. Gruesome, but totally related to what Myrin had just gone through.

This story is coming along wonderfully! Myrin is an endearing character and I want to learn how she will deal with things at Weynon Priory. Oh, and the screens are great!

Nits:
’I had seen only occasionally seen any of the infamous Ayleid ruins along the coastline of the Niben River, ’
I would eliminate the first ‘seen’ here.

’I felt, calm at least, not better, but clam again. ’
Oh, I hope she is feeling calm, not like a clam!

[King Coin]

Nobody can resist a swim after getting out of the sewer.

No surprise from the bandits. That Khajiit should have protected himself better though.

When the moment passes, she gets to stop, breathe, and think. She’s just killed two people. I like it that she needs some time to calm herself after that.

Nasty nightmare. Oblivion with those she’s killed?

[mALX]

Magnus was settling himself comfortably beyond Hammerfell when I found what I was looking for.

AWESOME phrase !!!

a Nord or Imperial woman by the sway of her hips.

And again here !! You have a knack for descriptive sentences that is inspiring!

My boney elbow impacted on him, and from the sudden squeak, I doubted he would be making kittens anytime soon.

ROFL !! Great line !!

Wonderful Write !!

[Grits]

I like the details you use, like the Khajiit’s teeth and the quick memory of Dahlia when Myrin rolled. I’m enjoying this story!