//<-Tamriel Reborn->\\, Follow the tale of a young man trying to find his destiny. Options

[Taaron]

Chapter 1- Rhea the Huntress

"It is time for Nords to learn the truth. Eternal life can be theirs, without the need to spend an entire mortal life in vain pursuit of something completely unattainable. In the end, all valiant Nords can enter Sovngarde. "

It was the end of Evening Star. My cousin and I were traveling to Windhelm, a city in the far reaches of Skyrim. We had received a letter from a man named Odar Stormcloak. The letter had told us to ride to Windhelm for an important matter. It took us three days to ride through Hammerfell, and four to get to Windhelm. That is where my adventure really started.

It was blur. “Taaron.” My mother whispered to me. “Taaron!” I woke up. “Taaron are you okay?” It was my cousin, Kobra. She was sitting next to me, looking worried. “You were dreaming. What about?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I said. I got up and walked over to the fireplace. “How long till we reach Windhelm?”
“Only a few days I’m guessing. We’re running low on food, we should go hunting tomorrow.”
“It’s fine I’ll go now.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t really know Skyrim’s terrain.”
“Trust me, cousin. I’ll get the food.” And I was off.

I pulled the arrow out of it’s quiver. As I placed the arrow on the string, the faint smell of Frostbite Poison, seeped into my nose. My fingers tensed. I had my eyes on the elk. I got down on one knee, preparing to fire that single poisoned arrow. This was the moment. The elk stopped moving. Come on, Taaron! I thought. All of a sudden, the elk fell over. Huh? Was someone else hunting it? From the trees, a woman emerged. I took out my dagger. The woman hadn’t seen me yet. She was moving towards the elk, slowly, as if she knew someone was there. I clenched my fist around the dagger. For some reason, I started to move towards the elk, too. I must’ve stepped on a twig, because the woman looked towards me. “Back off, now!” she exclaimed.
“I had my eyes on it first.” I replied. She looked at me oddly, then at the dead elk on the ground. She studied it for a second. She looked at the feet, the antlers, and the eyelids. Then, she looked back at me. “Take the elk.” The huntress said.
“What? But you just killed it.” I said to her.
“I’m looking for a dire elk. It’s a creature from the plains of Oblivion. I’m hunting it down. I am in no need of food.”
“Oh. Well, I’m Taaron.” I put my dagger back in my boot. I put out my hand for her to shake.
“Rhea.” She said. “My mother Aela runs the Companions in Whiterun.” She shook my hand. Rhea helped me skin the elk and take the meat. When we were done, she took me to a creek to wash our hands and we said our goodbye’s telling me I was always welcome in Jorrvaskr in Whiterun. I then made my way back to the camp.

This post has been edited by Taaron: Jun 30 2012, 09:24 PM

[Taaron]

Chapter 2-Hlaalu's Farm

“Took you a while didn’t it?” Kobra asked.
“But I got the meat.” I replied.
“Put it over the fire. We got a long way to go.” She was staring at a paper.
“What’s that?” I asked her.
“It’s…nothing.” She looked up at me and noticed that I actually wanted to know. “It’s a map. I’ve traced all our moves from when we entered Skyrim,” she explained. I walked over to her and looked at the map. “You see, here’s Markarth, where we entered, um, here’s that town Karthwasten.”
“That’s wicked.” I say to cheer her up.
“Thanks” she says. “You should really get some sleep now, Taaron. Tomorrows a long day.” I obeyed her and took off my armor. I climbed back into my bedroll and tried to sleep. It was the same dream as always.

“Taaron Rydonfell, Ranger of Daggerfall. You came to kill me is it?” I was in a place I didn’t recognize. “Is it?” I couldn’t respond. It was like I was being choked. The man speaking was unrecognizable. He was an Altmer sitting on a throne under a dragon head. He was wearing black robes with a collar going up to the top of his neck. “The Aldmeri Dominion welcomes you to what was Dragonreach.” The elf snapped his fingers. Two other elves come out holding a woman. Wait. That was my mother. I tried to scream at him to let her go. The elf toys with me, “What is it? Cat’s got your tongue?” My mother begs for mercy. “Taaron, please help!” The elf pulls out a black knife. “Taaron!” she screams. I can’t move. The elf walks up to my mother. “Taaron” my mother whispered to me. “Taaron!”

Kobra and I were on the move again. We had packed up our tents and were on our horses. In the distance behind us, I could see a huge mountain. Kobra noticed that I was looking at it. “They call it Hrothgar,” she says.
“What?” I ask.
“That mountain is called Hrothgar.”
“How do you know?”
“It’s the biggest mountain in Tamriel, bigger than Dagoth-Ur.”
“Damn. Is it climbable?”
“Sure. They got something called the 7000 Steps. Takes you to sort of temple.”
“We should go on the way back.”
“You can, I’m not a big climber”
After that we really didn’t speak. It was around six at night when we started hitting snowfall. We decided to find an inn to sleep for the night and get warm.

At eight in the evening we found Hlaalu’s Farm, a small inn near Windhelm. Kobra and I put our stuff down and went to the bar. “What can I get you folks?” the woman there asked. I suspected she was Hlaalu. Kobra wasn’t saying anything so I asked the woman for an ale and some apple-cabbage stew. “You okay, Kobra?”
“No. Taaron we need to speak outside.”
“What about?” Kobra waited for a second. The woman turned around for a second to grab something. Kobra whispered in my ear, “ There are bandits in the basement.”
“What? You’re crazy.” I replied.
“Look at her hands.” I looked. They seemed to be scarred and bruised. “Bandits bind people’s hands for torture methods.” Kobra told me.
“That could be knife cuts from cooking.” I told her, not wanting to believe we had walked into a trap.
“Still, don’t believe me? Look around. Aren’t inns supposed to have bards, drunks, and ACTUAL people.” She tried to explain to me.
“Oh gods, you’re right. We need to get out.” Kobra and I got up. The woman turned around. “Where are you going? You’re not gonna take a little nap here?”
“We just realized that we have to go.” I tried to reason with her.
“Oh dear, I’m afraid I can’t do that. You see, you can’t leave here alive.” Two bandits walked up from the basement. Three more flushed in from outside. I pulled the dagger out of my boot. Kobra put an arrow in her bow. The bandit chief yelled, “You wont leave here alive!” All the bandits came at us. In an instant they were upon us.

[Taaron]

Previously on Tamriel Reborn:
4E 283
Taaron and Kobra are on their way to Windhelm to recieve a special mission from Jarl Odar Stormcloak. Taaron keeps having bad dreams about a certain Aldmeri Dominion. He wakes up to go hunting and sees Rhea the Huntress. They have a short talk about the Oblivion Plains. Rhea leaves. The next day on the way to Windhelm, Taaron is admiring Hrothgar. It gets cold so they stop at an inn. In the inn they get surrounded by bandits, then... everything is a blur.


Chapter 3- Jarl Odar Stormcloak

Blood dripped from my dagger. A pool of blood was around Kobra and I. The woman at the bar was on her knees trembling in fear. “Please! Don’t hurt me. I was forced to.” I walked up to her. I was about to strike her with my blade, but then Kobra grabbed my arm. “Don’t” she said. “She’s not worth your energy.” Kobra looked at the woman. “Get out.” The inn keeper scurried out of the building like a rat.
“This is why I hate Skyrim” I told Kobra. “They’re all savages. We should’ve stayed in High Rock.”
“We were begged to come here. We’re the only representatives of the Covenant.”
“Well damn the Covenant!” I protested. “You know you hate your job. When we signed up for the Daggerfall Covenant, you and I both wanted to fight for the cause, not be speakers.”
“I can’t say your lying. Look at the bright side Taaron… we get paid six times more than the Rangers.”
I looked sternly at Kobra. She looked deeply into me and told me, “Look. If you were a Daggerfall Ranger, would you let five bandits piss you off? Huh?”
“Whatever, let’s just hurry to Windhelm and get this job over with.” Kobra smiled at me.

We walked over the bridge of Windhelm. Guards were staring at us harshly. I whispered to Kobra, “ I don’t think they like us”
“No” She said. “I think there was a funeral today” We walked past a woman who was on the ground crying. I heard her say something among the lines of: Who will save us from the dragons. Dragons have been extinct for over eighty years. Odd, I thought. When we entered Windhelm we asked a guard where Odar Stormcloak was. He told us he was in the Palace of Kings. I figured it was the giant building in the back of the city.

Inside there was long table with food of all kinds. At the end was a throne. A man sat in it holding his head up with his fist. “You finally arrived. Wait. You are the Covenant Representatives, correct?”
“Yes.” Kobra says. “Why did you summon us Jarl Odar?”
“You know of our recent death, yes?”
“No” I step in. “Is this what the commotion is about?”
“If you mean everyone mourning, than yes. Do you know the tale of the Dragonborn? What am I saying, of course you don’t. You’re Bretons. There was once a man who could speak the language of the dragons and absorb their souls. This man is now dead.”
“So why do you need us?” I ask.
“Us Nords like to be buried with our treasures and-
“You want us to find the Dragonborn’s treasures?”
“Well, yes. After the year 4E 201 he went missing and no one knew where he was. Some thought he was on High Hrothgar, others believe he fled to Sovngarde since he wasn’t needed. Nevertheless, we found out he was secretly worshipping Talos in Jorrvaskr.”
Jorrvaskr. I recognized that name. That’s where Rhea was at.
“We’ll do it.” I say.
“What?” Kobra and Odar both say.
“We’ll look for your treasure.”
“Good. I knew you’d do it.”
“Where can we start looking?”
“Personally, I would go to Jorrvaskr itself. Maybe you could find something useful.”
“Alright. Let’s go Kobra” She stayed where she was. “You coming?”
“Don’t I get a say in what we do?” she demanded. I started to walk a way expecting her to follow. Apparently she gave way, and started trailing behind me. “How do you know where to start? Do you even know where Jorrvaskr is?”
“Stay calm, cousin. I know where to go” I tell her.
“Where?”
“Whiterun.”

[Taaron]

Chapter 4.1- Arriving at Whiterun

As Kobra and I walked out of the Palace of Kings, we noticed a woman kneeling in front of a guard. “Please,” she begged. “I need to see the Jarl.”
“I cannot permit you to do that. The Jarl is to be protected at any cost.” The stern guard said.
“I need to speak to Jarl Odar. They took my baby, please!” Kobra looked at me. “Should we help?” Kobra asked.
“We have a task at hand. I don’t really think we should.” I tell her.
“Come on. I let you accept the task of retrieving the treasure of this Dragonborn.”
“No.” Kobra looked at me sadly. “Look, you told me to do this quest and then we can see if we could join the Rangers in High Rock. Right now we’re doing of what was asked of us.” I explained to her.
“Fine,” she said. I started to walk away, expecting Kobra to follow me again. This time… she didn’t.

Fine. You want to leave me. Suit yourself. I was thinking about all the things that enraged me. Kobra staying behind. The Aldmeri Dominion in my dreams. I was thinking about very chaotic things. I headed to the Windhelm Stables. I packed all my important items, giving my useless stuff and my tent to some beggar. He could make good use of it. I needed to travel lightly. I wasn’t going to stop for anything. I knew that if I completed this task, I could have a chance of joining the Rangers of Daggerfall.

The Rangers of Daggerfall was an organization of highly trained rangers who carried out assassination contracts. The Rangers were called upon by those who must utilize their deadly services through a ritual called "The Blood Knife". They were once the most highly feared organization in all of Tamriel, but they lost their reputation over time. The Rangers had been operating in Tamriel for many centuries. I had always wanted to join them, though.

There it was in front of me again. Hrothgar. Something about it stood out to me for some reason, other than it’s sheer size of course. I decided I should start moving faster. Now that I was far enough from the city, I grabbed the reigns of my horse and I kicked its sides.

There I was galloping along, when it came out of nowhere. A giant cat popped out from some bushes. It’s teeth were long and jagged and dotted with guts. Clearly it was man eating. I told myself I didn’t want to deal with this thing. So I killed it quickly. I grabbed my bow and placed an arrow in it’s string. The cat charged at me and I fired the arrow. I hit it straight in the head and sent it to hell. I figured I needed a new coat for this icy landscape so I skinned the cat and placed the fur on my horse. I realized it was getting dark so I told my horse to start riding faster.

Eventually, I stopped at a crossroads. There was sign luckily.

It told me Whiterun was South so I started heading there. It wasn’t long until I saw Whiterun. It was such a majestic city. The city seemed to be on a hill. A beautiful castle loomed down at the city at the top of the hill. I rode as fast as possible wanting to finish this abominable task.

I left my horse at the Whiterun stables outside of the city. I ran through a small market at the entrance, through some gates, and into the city. The city was beautiful. Colored roofs, pine trees, wonderful smells of fresh mead being made.

The city was perfect. I saw man who looked friendly. I walked up to him. “Hello, sir.” He turned around to face me. “How can I help you, lad?”
“I was wondering, do you know where Jorrvaskr is?
“You mean the temple? Gods, they can never keep their dogs shut up. There’s howling every night.”
“Yes, thanks but where is it?”
“Oh, right. It’s near the very top of the hill. You can’t miss it. It’s a huge temple. There’s a statue of Ysgramor, so that’s how you know.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem.” I started to walk up the hill. To my right, there was what seemed to be a blacksmith. The sign read "Warmaiden’s”.I kept walking straight. To my left there was a ranger shop. A plaque said: The finest bows in Whiterun. There was a building next to the Fletcher. It seemed to be destroyed for what seemed a long time. I walked up the steps to it. I was about to touch the door when all of a sudden, I feel a tugging at my pants. “Hey.” I turn around. It’s a child. A very young girl. “You don’t want to go in there,” she insists.
“Why not?” I asked.
“It’s haunted. You see, there’s a rumor that a woman named Adrianne Avenicci. Wanders the rooms of that house. She died over eighty years ago.” She explained to me. A woman showed up behind her. “That’s enough, Arya.”
“But Mother!”
“Go.”
The woman looked at me. I recognized her. “Sorry about that, it’s just that she- Taaron?”
“Rhea?”
“Hi!”

This post has been edited by Taaron: Jun 26 2012, 04:26 AM

[Acadian]

A Skyrim story!

Welcome to chorrol and the arena of fan fiction! This is off to a good start. You’ve done a nice job developing things largely through dialogue here - a great choice.

Rhea the Huntress from Chapter 1 comes full circle as Taaron once again runs into her at the end of Chapter 4.

You may have done yourself a slight disservice by posting 4 chapters in rapid succession. Be careful you don’t intimidate readers with too much too fast. I recommend you allow plenty of time (like several days) for folks to wander by and read between chapters.

Use that time to amble among the other fine tales here. Indeed, you’ll find the best way to garner and maintain readership is to support the stories of others. A wonderful side benefit of doing so is experiencing the differing styles of other writers.

Best wishes as you continue and, again, welcome!

[mALX]

*

Welcome to the FanFic Forums !! This is a great beginning, your writing is excellent! I hope you'll keep it up!

[Taaron]

@Acadian: Thanks for the welcome and the support. I think I'll be needing it on this magnifecent forum.

@mALX: Thank you for welcoming me to the website. I appreciate all the support from viewers

Chapter 4.2- Uttering Hills Cave

As Taaron and I walked out of the Palace of Kings, we noticed a woman kneeling in front of a guard. “Please,” she begged. “I need to see the Jarl.”
“I cannot permit you to do that. The Jarl is to be protected at any cost.” The stern guard said. I wondered what this was about.
“I need to speak to Jarl Odar. They took my baby, please!” I looked at Taaron. “Should we help?” I asked.
“We have a task at hand. I don’t really think we should.” Taaron told me.
“Come on. I let you accept the task of retrieving the treasure of this Dragonborn.”
“No.” I looked at him in disgust. Clearly he felt pity. “Look, you told me to do this quest and then we can see if we could join the Rangers in High Rock. Right now we’re doing of what was asked of us.” He explained to me.
“Fine,” I said. He started to walk away, expecting me to follow me again. This time… I didn’t.

I walked up to the woman. “Hello, miss?” The woman ignored me, still kneeling in front of the guard begging to see Odar. “Miss? I think I can help you.” I told her. She turned around, eyes wide open, flowing like the White River in High Rock. “You th-th-think you can help me?” she muttered.
“Yes. In fact I’m with the Daggerfall Cove-“ I stop for a second. “I’m with the Daggerfall Rangers.”
“Really? I must ask a favor of you.”
“Anything” I tell her.
“These bandits. They…” she stopped talking and burst in to tears.
“They what ma’am?”
She started to say something but I didn’t quite make it out. “Thy tuc my sooonnn!”
“Do you want me to get him back, ma’am?”
“Please. Oh, please! I would be very gracious.” She went to pull something out her satchel. It was a small pouch that was filled with… Septims! “Here,” the woman said. “This is all the money I have. If you get Charles back, it’s all yours.”
“Miss, payment is not necessary,” I said this since I sort of lied about telling her I’m a Ranger.
“No! I insist. Just please, get my son back.”
“Don’t worry. He will return shortly. Where can I find him?”
“They took him to-sniff- Uttering Hills Cave. Just north- east from here.”
“I’ll get him back don’t worry.”

Uttering Hills Cave. Uttering Hills Cave. I knew I had heard that name before. I was readying my horse. Placing all the things I need on the back of the peaceful creature. I mounted it. I decided to name the horse Hazel, after her light brown coat and beautifulness. Hazel whinnied after I kicked her in the sides. I was riding to Anga’s Mill, a little farm outside the city. Some guard told me that Anga’s granddaughter could tell me where Uttering Hills Cave was. I realized that I should’ve made haste knowing that, that woman was probably rolling on the floor crying about her kid waking up her town.

I had arrived at Anga’s Mill half an hour after my departure. I dismounted off of Hazel. No one was in sight. I decided I should’ve taken a look inside but instead I went around to the back. Someone was back there. They were sitting down, resting their back on the wall of the mill. When I turned to see the person’s face, something jumped out at me. A bandit? No. I was staring at a young man, about the same age as Taaron. He was defending the person on the floor. Apparently he was sweet on this girl.

After having a short chat with this man, Freton, he told me the “beasts” from Uttering Hills Cave did this. I had to stop this now. “So how do I get in?” I asked Freton.
“If you go over that hill, it’s right there. You can’t miss it.”
“Thanks.” I started to walk away.
“Oh!” Freton exclaimed. “You’re going to want to take this” He gave me an a necklace. “My papa gave me this. It can fend off any magic.”
“Thanks again.” I wrapped the necklace around my wrist.

I walked up the small hill Freton told me about. There it was. Uttering Hills Cave. There was still something in my mind telling me that I’ve heard that name before. I walked towards the camp that laid in front of me, not knowing what I was getting myself into.

[Saquira]

Welcome to chorrol Taaron!

I just finished chapter two, and I spotted a few things that I find annoying. I hope you don't mind that I point them out.

Most of the time when a new person speaks, you switch rows, but you missed that a couple of times and it's much easier to know who's speaking when the different speakers are seperated a bit. For example, in the dream(?) with the Altmer and Taaron's mother, both the elf and his mom speaks, yet you never even switch rows. It's generally easier to read when the layout of the story is more ordered, and that might be cause enough for people to take time and read it.

It was the end of the Evening Star. My cousin and I were traveling to Windhelm, a city in the far reaches of Skyrim. We had received a letter from a man named Odar Stormcloak. The letter had told us to ride to Windhelm for an important matter. It took us three days to ride through Hammerfell, and four to get to Windhelm. That is where my adventure really started.

I think you want to remove the "the" that I bolded.

“I’m looking for a dire elk. It’s a creature from the plains of Oblivion. I’m hunting it down. I am no need of food.”

The sentence "I am no need of food" sounds very of. I think you'd either want to write "I am in no need of food" or "I have no need of food".

“Thanks” she says. “You should really get some sleep now, Taaron. Tomorrows a long day.” I obeyed her and took off my armor. I climbed back into my bedroll and tried to sleep. It was the same dream as always.

I think you forgot the apostrophe there.

And lastly you call the mountain Hrothgar. I don't know if that's by choice, but in case you've just forgotten, in Skyrim at least, the mountains name is The throat of the World. It's the temple on top that's named High Hrothgar.

Anyway, just trying to help. I like the story so far, and really hope you'll keep it up.

[Lycanthropic-Legend]

Cool story man! i think you also should slow down and post chapters regularly through the week, and not in a day. Give some time for members to read.

[Taaron]

Sorry for it being so short, I guess I’m having writers block

Chapter 4.3- Werewolves

Getting into Uttering Hills Cave was easy. When I had walked into the camp, three bandits awaited me. A big heavy armored one, a hooded one with daggers, and one with a bow. “Look oe’r there, mates,” the biggest one said. The one with the bow responded, “Is that a…woman?” Silence.
“Bwahahaha!” the three bandits started to laugh. I drew my bow. The big one started to speak again, “Oh my, she took her bow out. What you gonna do? Kill us?”
I responded with one word. “Precisely”
In less than two seconds I had already taken an arrow out of it’s quiver and shot one into the big one’s head. The two other bandits stared at me in awe. The hooded one came running at me. “Die you Breton scum!” he screamed. He unsheathed his daggers. As he neared me, I unsheathed my dagger as well. “Ahhhh!” he shouted while charging at me. I threw my dagger with full force. The dagger drove itself into the bandits chest. A second later, I realized something was wrong. The big one started to get up. “GET HER!” he screamed with a very unnatural voice. The hooded one also got up off the ground. The one with the bow was the first to change. Then the hooded one. Next was the big one. I had finally realized where I heard the name Uttering Hills Cave. It was an Aldmeri laboratory specializing in werewolves.

I had tried to kill the wolfen creatures. Nothing was hurting them. I tried my dagger, my bow, even the necklace Freton gave me. Every time I knocked them on the ground they just got up. Eventually, they effortlessly pinned me to the ground. “Let’s go lassie” the big werewolf whispered in my ear. His breath smelled rancid. No doubt he had eaten his own compassion.

The three werewolves changed back into their human form and were escorting me down a mine shaft. We walked into one room with a few werewolves in cages. There was an Altmer sitting at a desk studying them. We kept walking. After about ten minutes of being escorted, I was brought to a huge room. At the far back was a throne. After a couple of seconds of thinking I had realized the “beasts” Freton was talking about, were actually beasts. How could’ve I have been so clueless. The girl he was guarding was mauled and scratched.

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the throne. An Altmer man was staring at me.
“Kobra Rydonfell, correct?”

[Lycanthropic-Legend]

Hello again. I suggest you seperate the lines between dialogue to facilitate the reading to allow it to be more smoother. I.E:

“Bwahahaha!” The three bandits started to laugh. I drew my bow. The big one started to speak again, “Oh my, she took her bow out. What you gonna do? Kill us?”

I responded with one word. “Precisely”

The addition of werewolves in the tale was...intruging, the least I could say. It was a special thing to see them freely transform to and back between lupine form and human. A power which few could wield, even modified Lycanthropes such as the Circle.

Here is a tip: You might want to write what your character is thinking, what she smells, what attire she is wearing and her likes, dislikes, weaknesses as well. Make killing enemies something a bit harder than usual, give us a pathway into the mind of your main character, let us relate to her. For example, fighting off a group of werewolves was no easy feat, and you certainly did show the inability of your character to kill them. I reckon they wanted her alive. You left a nice cliffhanger in the end, making me wonder how they know Kobra's identity.

This post has been edited by Lycanthropic-Legend: Jul 1 2012, 12:00 AM