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Aftermath, When one crises ends, another shall rise |
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Replies(160 - 176)
| Acadian |
Sep 15 2013, 05:54 PM
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Paladin

Joined: 14-March 10
From: Las Vegas

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I am so delighted to see you continuing Westley’s wonderful romp through Cyrodiil! I hope you will permit me to offer an experienced-based suggestion that I have found very useful. I recommend preceding your story updates with a brief author’s comments section. The primary purpose of this is to express your appreciation to each reader who took the time to read and comment on your last episode – this helps to keep them coming back!  The secondary purpose can be to provide just a sentence or two about where we are in the story – sort of like with a TV series ‘in our last episode’. That brings your readers up to speed and ready to jump right in. With a pretty good number of great stories on the forum and sometimes lengthy chunks of time between updates, that is always a good idea. ’Rex walked down a hidden trail leading into the woods. He listened to the rhythmic sounds of the leaves and sticks crunching and snapping beneath his boots, and embraced the feeling of the coolness of the night air blowing against his dark skin.’ - - The opening piece of a new scene or episode is always important, and this one was a gem. Majestic wording here as you use one sentence to set so much of the scene. ’Rex continued to observe the scene "Thats a lot of blood you've wasted. The trees and rocks don't need it. There are hungry vampires out there..." - - Now, Johnny, be a good little vampire and finish your blood. There are unfortunate vampire children who have to live in squalid caves and don’t have enough blood to drink.  Seriously, it looks like quite the conspiracy between Rex and Decimus. I can see where you plucked this episode’s title from now! Uh oh. Westley’s getting waylaid and captured faster than he can get back to his ‘friends’. And finally, back among the three amigo vampires, they get jumped by a werewolf! Maybe Hastrel’s “I’m dead meat” is prophetic after all? Eeep!
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| King Of Beasts |
Sep 19 2013, 06:01 AM
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Ancient

Joined: 15-November 12
From: Imperial City,Cyrodiil

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mALX: Sorry for the confusion. I had accidentally pressed add reply a bit too early, and ended up posting half a chapter, lol! Thanks do your kind words Liz: Westley just isn't having much luck, lol. He's wandering down a trail completely naked and vulnerable to attack. Lucky for him, there are people actually trying to fight the vampires. Acadian: Im gonna start updating more regularly now, lol. My brain seems to be functioning again, so... Everyone: So I'm gonna take Acadian's advice and write a brief catch up on the last chapter. So we left off with Westley wandering down the trail, aware he was being followed. Of course things go from bad to worse, and he ends up being captured. Meanwhile, Hastrel is pestering Jakben with his paranoid beliefs that they are being watched. His paranoia seems to be true, as they are under the attack of a werewolf.
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Rise, rise! To freedom, rise! Arise, ye Breton sons and daughters. Ride, ride! To freedom, ride! Truth and glory to the brave!
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| mALX |
Sep 19 2013, 10:11 AM
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Ancient

Joined: 14-March 10
From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN

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QUOTE A man with short dark hair and steel gray eyes surveyed the area. He had a cold, hard expression on his broad face. His mouth curled downward into a frown as one of his allies was struck down and drained by one of the vampires. He rolled the hilt of the sword between his hand, and let out a battle cry as he lunged forward and cut clean through the neck of a vampire.
This is a spectacular line! Holy Cow, Kobby; what a great descriptive and visual you gave here! Awesome! What a neat storyline, that he would have been eaten and was rescued - very cool that !!! QUOTE It angrily swiped at him, managing to miss the small Breton every time.
SPEW!!! Figures Hastrel, the little weasel! ROFL !!! You had me in hysterics with the werewolf's swipes missing Hastrel every time, ROFL !!! Then to sit and watch Jak die when he jumped in to save Hastrel !!! Grrrrr! Oooh, Hastrel better be looking over his shoulder if he leaves Jak to be werewolf meat! Grrr! AWESOME WRITE !!!
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| Acadian |
Oct 30 2013, 03:05 PM
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Paladin

Joined: 14-March 10
From: Las Vegas

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I'm so glad to see you updating and continuing Westley's story! ‘I started to wonder if they had any medical supplies to help heal wounds and illnesses. If they didn't, it would be best to avoid being hurt. Perhaps that included staying out of fights?’ - - Good thinkin’ Wes! ‘All I want is one normal day. No wars, no being noticed, just a normal, relaxing day where I could just walk through the arboretum in the imperial city without being pestered. One normal day.’ - - Aww, Westley needs a vacation! I hear the Shivering Isles is lovely this time of year? Uh, nevermind. What a surprise for Jakben that, when the werewolf recovered fully from that spell, she transformed into someone who didn’t want to eat him! Being dragged through the woods by a nekked woman? Well, I suppose things could be worse.
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| mALX |
Sep 13 2014, 02:20 AM
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Ancient

Joined: 14-March 10
From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN

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QUOTE "I wasn't gonna eat you! I was going to dismember you and leave your body for wild animals." “Oh, well in that case…” - ROFL! Love that line! In fact the whole scene between Jakben and the woman had me in hysterics – the silent treatment! Bwaahaaahaaa!!!!! QUOTE "YOU TRIED TO EAT ME!" Jakben turned red with anger SPEW! @ Acadian - You had me dying laughing with your comment, lol.
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