Sanity Options

[gamer10]

[quote=Dantrag]still an awesome story, Zelda_Zealot.

and konrad, you don't have to worry about posting here...you may even get a reader and a half like my story! lol.[/quote]

Yeah, I've noticed the Fanfic section isnt very busy.

[Wolfie]

Great story, but it's carved, not craved lol

[Zelda_Zealot]

[quote=LoneWolf]Great story, but it's carved, not craved lol [/quote]

Eh? What does that mean? MerGirl, do you think I would just end it there?
Nah I am going to go a few more chapters. I might not have one to night though, I was busy all day and night. If you do see one then thank God, not me.

[MerGirl]

[quote=Zelda_Zealot][quote=LoneWolf]Great story, but it's carved, not craved lol [/quote]

Eh? What does that mean? MerGirl, do you think I would just end it there?
Nah I am going to go a few more chapters. I might not have one to night though, I was busy all day and night. If you do see one then thank God, not me. [/quote]

What LoneWolfie was talking about:

"Umbra was craved into its handle;" and "I even craved his name into the handle." It's supposed to be 'carved', not 'craved'.

Anyway, thank goodness you're not ending the story! I felt sorry for mister Vampy (and Mister Sad Orc, too!)...
I don't like sad/bitter endings...

[Zelda_Zealot]

Ah thanks! (To both of you.) You gotta give me a break though. I write these in the dead of night.

[MerGirl]

[quote=Zelda_Zealot]Ah thanks! (To both of you.) You gotta give me a break though. I write these in the dead of night.[/quote]

Don't worry about it. That typo just... seemed so silly in the context of the story.

[Zelda_Zealot]

Yeah. Thats why I am going to change it. If you dissagree I will crave my name into your forehead! :rofl:

EDIT: As if anyone cares... As of 3:24 (EST) tonight (Or morning... whatever) I will start posting these of Fan Fiction.net So you can go there to read the newer better version (Just small changes). Dont worry, I will put them here too.

[Zelda_Zealot]

Great, looks like my last post got deleted. Well I guess I will put out my offer again, after the chaptor of course!

“Sanity can not be given, only taken.”

Redemption in the Ash

I traveled to the Ashlands, and found my sanity.

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As I traveled towards the Ashlands I wondered what would have happened if I lost that fight. Surely I would have died, but would Umbra have done for me what I did for him? Would I know be sleeping the final sleep six feet under, or out for the cliffracers? Would he have craved LV into his blade and left it as a tombstone? I believe he would have, every time I look at my eyes in a mirror I see the same thing I saw in his.

I thought about where to go next, to the Sheogorad region, or to the Ashlands? I would have to go to both, so should I go to the closest one or the farthest? Eventually I made up my mind; I was going to the Ashlands. I would be best to fight those most like myself in combat. I would save the magic users for next, then go for the stealthy ones; I had a vengeance for them, and I’m sure they would not want to miss it.

I stopped in Caldara to fill some vials; it would be a long trip. The only other time I approached civilization was in Maar Gan as it was on the way to my last stop. After feeding on some random passerby I made my way over the mountains, I was looking for some dwemer ruins. When I found them I made sure my blade was ready and I had some healing magic at hand, I would need it. It may seem like overkill for Dwemer ruins, but this one had an infestation, of vampires.

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I walked though the doorway, but was it of my own free will? Or were the gods simply manipulating me for there own gain? It does not matter; I will do what needs to be done.

I drew my blade, but was it even my own hand that drew it? Or were the gods using me like a weapon? Am I just a pawn in their otherworldly game? Do I even make my own choices anymore? Or am I just a mindless killer? It does not matter; whether I am a martyr for myself or others, as long as they are destroyed by my hand.

I walked down the stairs in front of me, was I walking? Or were the gods? Am I controlling my legs? Or are they? Who is walking down those steps? A man or a god? Who am I? A man or a weapon? Am I a tool or a living being? It does not matter; I am here for a reason, whether I like it or not. I am an exterminator. I am the gods own martyr, here to destroy all the vermin.

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I saw what the vampires call “cattle”, they are slaves, they cook clean and even feed their masters. They gave all that they owned, even their own freewill. Am I like them? Have I given all to my masters? No I won’t think that, I am my own man. When my task is done I will be free. I am no ones “cattle”.

I left the “cattle” be, they were not why I am here. Though I pity them, I will not end their lives. I looked around the ruins; there was not much here, a few destroyed halls, some “cattle” and a couple weak vampires. There was not much here, I was expecting more from the Quarra clan.

I found my way down into the lower levels, there was some more “cattle” but not much else, and this was starting to unnerve me. I made my way up a spiraling staircase, there was another vampire here, not being who I was looking for he was an easy fight. I made my way deeper into the dwemer ruins, peeking around a corner I saw what I was looking for, a Nordic vampire in Ebony armor. I prepared myself as much as I could, then rushed down the hall and joined battle with the woman.

As I approached her she pulled out an Ebony Mace, I would need to be extra agile in this battle. Though the mace would be extremely painful if hit, it was very slow, giving me the advantage. She swung her mighty mace in a large arc, it surly would have broken something, had it hit. I quickly dodged to my right and chopped her arm in one swift stroke. I barely even nicked her skin.

I guess I will have to be even more agile, She swung again, this time I jumped back and let her slam her mace into the floor. Then ran forward, jumped onto her shoulders and thrust my blade strait down into the small of her back. Pulling my blade out I leaped back and pulled my sword up to defend against any attacks she might have left. Though not quite dead, she was severely weakened. I started blocking her blows, they were no longer as strong and I could now block them with out fear of losing my balance.

For a few minuets of swinging and blocking, looking, waiting, and living for the right moment, it came at last, she was tired, and she was injured and still swinging with all her might. That was her undoing. She swung for the last time, as the mace came down I moved to the side and knocked it out of her hands. After disarming her I leaped into the air and proceeded to put the point of my blade though her skull and into her chest, ending the battle of Ebony. I walked down the hall without another thought about her.

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In the room at the end of the hall I found the one I had come for. She was an Imperial before the infection, dressed in glass armor missing only the helm and bracers. She had a Glass long sword in her hand, dripping with poison. This would be a hard fight, I was quite agile but so was she, perhaps even more so. I slowly walked forward, blade at the ready. She wasted no breath on taunts or jeers, good I prefer to not talk anyway. We circled each other, waiting for an opening.

Many say that sword play is like a dance, a dance of death. I know this, it is a dance like no other, it is a dance from which one returns, it is a dance where all lose their humanity, and it is a dance where blood is shed, along with lives. We danced this dance, just like I did with Umbra, and only one returned from it.

She thrust with her glass sword, I parried. The dance consisted of this and only this, she would thrust, I would parry, I would slash and she would dodge. It was a never ending cycle, from which there is no return. Once the dance gets you there is no end, until one lays dead. The dance only ended when she broke the cycle.

Instead of thrusting she grabbed her blade with two hands and chopped at my head. I blocked the blow knocking her blade back long enough for me to swing my blade around and slice off her hands. I had disarmed my opponent, I could deal the final blow and leave this place forever, but something stopped me. I could have been that much closer to freedom, but I hesitated. I could have ended it once and for all, but I could not.

I left the ruins; I had done what the gods had wanted me to do there. They wanted me to stop the vampires of Vvardenfell; I would do so, but on my own accord not theirs. I left the Quarra clan leader in that place, not to die, but to begin again, to begin a new life, a life not of killing, but of whatever they chose.

I don’t know what the gods did to her; but I believe they cured her of vampirism. I will go to the other clan and bring the same to them, they may not want it, but it is that or death. I hope they chose life. I know that the gods did not want me to kill her, they never did, that was my insanity, but I need not worry about that again. I leave the Ashlands clearheaded, and head to the north.

I am finally sane.


No that is not the end, . But if anyone wants to help that would be great, just PM me.

P.S. Gamer 10 I lost your PM so you have to send it again.

[Mazuk]

Awesome story.....

[jonajosa]

Agreed. But will he become insane again????

:goodjob:

[Zelda_Zealot]

Why would I do that? Plot twist? Nah I got something better.

[Zelda_Zealot]

I up dated this FF a lot (More detail and over all just better) so go here to read it, after all you dont really want me to post the whole thing over again do you?

P.S. Next chapter coming soon!

[treydog]

Don't know how I missed this one before- old age, I suppose. Anyway- excellent fight scene with Umbra, great descriptions of the character's internal conflict.

[Zelda_Zealot]

Thanks. That means a lot coming from "the great treydog". The next chapter is kinda done but I am not that satisfied with it, as soon as I "pump it up" more I will post it. Mesa happy!

[Zelda_Zealot]

Wow... I don't think I posted the last chapter here... Well here it is. Kinda late though...

“Sanity is as much a curse as madness”

Magical Clash

I went to the Sheogorad region to bring peace, only to find slaughter.

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I headed towards the Sheogorad region; I would find the Aundae clan and cleanse them. Perhaps of vampirism, perhaps of life. It was their decision, and I hoped they made the right one. As I went there I thought about my own sanity, was it a curse or a blessing? Should I have killed the Quarra clan leader? No, I was supposed to leave her there. But maybe my insanity would be of some help to me. I should not think such things, they are dangerous. Sanity is a blessing to me; I could not do without it.

I arrived out side the Aundae clan base and got my self ready, I would be in for a tough fight.

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I opened the door, and walked down the hallway in front of me. It turned two ways, just like a choice I would have to make soon. I made my choice and started down the left passage. I will not describe all of the events that took place in that place, as only one mattered. I went into that hell hole, killing anything that challenged me without remorse. I did not want to, but I had no choice, it was me or them.

After wandering down more passages then I would ever want to in a life time I came across the clan Aundae leader, an Altmer, standing on a platform above a small group of “Cattle”. He stood there with the largest amount of defiance I have ever seen for one who knew what would happen to him. The Altmer would not go down standing there, he would fight to the death if need be, but with magic, not blades. Half heartedly I pulled the Umbra off my back, and got ready for a fight.

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I leapt to the side and went behind the corner, if he can’t see me he can’t hurt me was the thinking behind my move. Alas I was wrong; the mage cast a spell that sent a chilling ball of ice past me exploding, into shards as much as two feet long in every direction. Gasping in pain from the chunk of ice stuck in my chest, I jumped over the fence to my right, and went under the platform the Altmer stood on.

I considered my options, I could simply jump up there and attack him, or I could call out the reason I was here. Both sounded good, but I doubt the mage would just give up, so I grabbed the icicle is my chest and gave it a hearty tug, pulling it right out. Dropping the chunk of ice I came up with a slight plan of sorts.

Running out from under the platform I leapt up towards the mage, surprising him in the process. I swung the Umbra in an attempt to finish this quick, yet the mage had conjured a glowing shield in the time it took me to twitch. The blade bounced harmlessly off the mystical orb of energy like a stone off a Dragon. Swearing I jumped strait up into the air and brought the Umbra down with enough force to crack a house in two. The Altmer had not been able to move in time and took the blow’s full strength with the shield. A second later the whole orb of magicka shattered into a thousand pieces.

The Altmer jumped back before I could do anything and got another spell out, fire this time. I quickly rolled out of the way of the fiery ball but was still licked by the flames, but that was all which was needed to set my arm ablaze. Dropping off the platform I rolled though the entire flickering shadow cast by the stone platform above me before the fire went out. I pulled out a small vial containing a restorative I had mixed long before hand, and downed it quickly.

Feeling my wounds healing I sneaked out the opposite side I fell down from, and quietly leapt up onto the stones holding the Altmer mage. Slipping silently forward I reached my arm out and grabbed the mage by his collar, lifting my blade to his neck I looked at him, sending along a message with a mere look. The mage simply stood there, unafraid and unaffected by the fact that a slight twitch could sever his head. He stared into my eyes with the smallest hint of arrogance twinkling in his. Never would this man admit defeat. I had no choice; I walked out of that room with one more life on my shoulders.

I now have one more place to stop before heading towards Vivic, Molag Amur, and base of the Berne clan.

I know kinda short, and just a little bit late... well more life a month late. Well anyway, I have the next and last chapter ready to post tomorrow, just reply and and it is yours . After all, I don't want the Admins and stuff getting mad at me for having a one sided conversation on the forums, thats for when no ones around .

[treydog]

It has been a long wait, but the reward was worth the waiting. I wonder if we will ever gain insight into the reason the narrator believes he was chosen by the gods to carry out this task....

Excellent feel for the reality of being driven- compelled to do something against your will.

[Zelda_Zealot]

YEY!! Praise from treydog!! YES! SCORE!! Ahem... sorry about that... Anyway, I thought it would be obviuos(sp?) as to why he is chosen, after all the only person who should be more powerful then you after beating the main quest and expansions is Vivic, and thats only if youyr not trying to become a God. So who would you chose to kill a demi-god? The Nerevarine or some guy of the streets? Well I got a reply so here ya go treydog...

“Sanity can be lost as quickly as gained”

Porphyric Vengeance

I headed towards Molag Amur now, obsessed with vengeance.

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It took days to reach my destination, but when I arrived it was worth every second. In front of me was the base of the bastards who gave me this dreaded disease, I would love every moment of their pain. I walked through the heavy metal doors and unsheathed the Umbra from it leather prison on my back, loving the sound of the ringing it made. That sound can strike fear into the hearts of the weak, bring hope to allies in need, and warn enemies of their impending doom.

With my enhanced senses I could hear the Dunmer attempting to creep up without my notice, foolish of them; they surly must know I was “born” of their clan? Could they truly believe they could sneak up on one of their own, particularly one who has gone through all I have? No matter, at last I would be having my revenge on my “creators”; at last the man who foolishly walked into these dreaded ruins would be avenged.

I moved through that great ruin, slaying anything that found its way within reach of my mighty blade. Heads rolled, arms fell, legs collapsed, nothing survived the deadly kiss of my blade. I felt no remorse for killing in that ruin, I feel ecstatic that I did it, in fact I even laughed at their pitiful attempts to kill me. If it moved I made sure it stopped moving, if it breathed I was sure to suffocate it, if it had a heart that beat it I made to stop that beating. My vengeance was swift and sure, fast and merciless, quick and painful.

I stopped seeing faces and only saw victims of my hatred, I stopped seeing passages crafted made eons age and only saw paths to more blood to be spilt, I stopped seeing “living” bodies but instead bags of guts and gore waiting to be slashed open. There were so many vampires in that metal prison, so much blood covering the walls, floor, and ceiling. Had I been hungry it would have been a buffet, but I have not been hungry since the battle with the Quarra clan.

The leader of the Berne went almost as quickly as the rest, I only paused the slaughter to be sure the Dunmer knew who was no ruthlessly killed everyone who was seen by those fiery eyes, to be sure he knew the face that would be burned into his mind in the afterlife. The elf simply stood there, watching, as I cut down every living thing in the room, waiting to die. I walked up the Vampire and glared him right in the eye.

I don’t remember much of the day it happened, only that I was seeking a release from the monotony of daily life. I wandered into those ruins expecting to find dwemer machines, only to find a nest of vampires looking to rip into my neck and feed. I remember pulling the Life Vein off my back and trying to fend them off, but there was far too many, I collapsed from fatigue after being trapped in a corner. I woke up kneeling in front of the Dunmer I was currently staring at only to feel the most horrible pain in my neck as the dark elf swooped down and began to feed.

I kneeled in that room for hours trying to work up the strength the push off the Dunmer who was slowly and lovingly drinking my blood drop by drop. At long last I pushed the vampire off and stumbled to grab my nearby sword and activate my amulet to send me back to my manor Ald-ruhn.

Glaring right back at me the Dunmer said nothing before this death, but no one could miss the pity flowing from those vampire eyes.

I ran the Berne leader through quickly. There was a sharp intake of breath as looked at me when I ran him through. He died never wavering, staring even in death, staring with those, blank, vampiric eyes. I walked back through that hellhole my feet slipping on the blood coated floor, my mind raced as I thought of what I had to do.

Surly this is not what The Daedra had in mind for me; they could have cleared out the vampire with the greatest of ease. Was there something I was missing? I walked through the heavy doors of the Dwemer ruins for what truly I hoped was the last time and headed to the south west with the Daedra still on my mind.

It was several days later when I approached the great city of Vivic shortly before dawn, walking through the walkway I ignored the Ordinators patrolling the city and focused only on my destination, Vivic’s sanctum. The Daedra gods gave me my vampirism as a gift and as a curse, a gift to destroy the remaining Tribunal, and a curse to ensure I saw their plans through to the end. Their will shall be done, by my hand or another’s, Vivic will not see the sunrise. Then it will end, all the pain and suffering. I no longer care about living, if the gods kill me or Vivic does, it won’t matter. I will be going into that sanctum soon, and I won’t be coming out. This is my final redemption.


Epilogue


I have been free of the curse of the vampire for well over a year now; I doubt anyone will believe this document; no one wants to believe their “God” is dead, nor that their “savior” was his murderer. However I truly hope that many will see this story as it is meant to be. I have suffered no lasting physical damage from these accounts, though there was quite a bit of emotional scarring for many years, coming in the form of dreams in the night.

The first of which was one of thanks from the Daedra, and a mention of my needs at a later time, I pray they speak not the truth for I don’t know if I would even listen. The rest were of the many fights I have been through, the people I have killed, and the pain I have given. I have been told that I used to thrash around during those dreams, though they believed it to be from a normal nightmare, not from the dreams of those frights I once lived through.

I sleep soundly now, no longer plagued be dreams of a headless Orc, or a handless Cyrodill, but of that one sunrise I saw as I walked into Vivic’s Sanctum. I never found it odd that I experienced now pain or burning during that sun rise, I believe the Daedra had already cured me of my curse, instead I looked into the fact that I never lost the strength that came with it. Perhaps they had given it to me as a reward, although I would have preferred to not recall any of this unending nightmare.

I will be hiring many talented writers to copy down the words of my journey, then selling it to as many street venders as I can, I intend to spread this to the farthest edge of the world if possible. Whether you take my word for granted or not it makes to difference to me, as long as you know of the events that transpired.

Larrius Varro.

Ah, so nice to finally be done...

This post has been edited by Zelda_Zealot: Aug 24 2005, 05:08 PM

[Neck' Thall]

I Must Say WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOH hOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

And at the same time Awwwwwwwww............

Make a sequel before i burn every village from here to...ummm...there...ok!!!

[Zelda_Zealot]

Well I don't exactly have any ideas for a sequel... but I might be able to come up with something. Glad you like it though.

[treydog]

Great surprise ending- Varro as Nerevarine, vampire, and godslayer! Excellent writing, with vivid descriptions, depth of feeling and plenty of mystery, even at the end.

So- please keep writing. Even if it is not a sequel, more like this or else more with Clangor would be wonderful.