No Elves in Sovngarde, I've decided to to turn my "A day in Skyrim" adventure i Options

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Why thank you! I hope I continue to do so :]

[jack cloudy]

Dang, it is a regular drama here. Just when things start to look up, they plummet again. That said, I did like how in the end it all came down to the same issue and the same arguments again. Maybe someday, Onmund can convince Kayla he is worth taking along. But till then, he'd better take a vow of celibacy and do some serious training.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

I've had Onmund as a follower, and he really kicks some butt. If Kayla would give him a chance, she's see how competent he is. But because of how protective she is and worried, that won't happen.

Unless something forces her hand.

-waggles eyebrows in a devilish manner-

Ehhhh? EHHHHHH? No? Oh. XD

[McBadgere]

What, like this?... ...

Ooooh, and then there's the mystery paralyze potion...

Sorry, forgot to mention the previous post which was also brilliant...Definately intrigued by the potion meself... ...

*Applauds further*...

[jack cloudy]

Well, the point isn't whether Onmund is a badass or sucks in combat. The point is indeed that he needs to convince Kayla he is badass enough to stay alive and all. The whole training thing might help a little with that. And besides, brushing up on fighting in a controlled environment and slowly ramping up to the real thing is never a bad thing. Just slinging spells at a wall in an empty room for a few days is nice, but battles are rarely so peaceful.


Knowing how to cast 'volcano on demand V2.3' doesn't do you much good if you can't focus on your fingerwiggling while someone is swinging an axe at you.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Well, the point isn't whether Onmund is a badass or sucks in combat. The point is indeed that he needs to convince Kayla he is badass enough to stay alive and all. The whole training thing might help a little with that. And besides, brushing up on fighting in a controlled environment and slowly ramping up to the real thing is never a bad thing. Just slinging spells at a wall in an empty room for a few days is nice, but battles are rarely so peaceful.


Knowing how to cast 'volcano on demand V2.3' doesn't do you much good if you can't focus on your fingerwiggling while someone is swinging an axe at you.

-snort!!!!- Yeah, if she would just stop being such a control freak and let him prove himself, she'd see he's good. But on the other end, what training has he had? Instead of sitting around the house while she went off, he could have been training. But he didn't. So, I mean... she feels if he were serious about it, he would have done something more productive towards letting him go with her.

[Grits]

I love what you’re doing with your characters, Elisabeth. I’d like to give them both a hug and a smack, so I’d say you have me involved in their lives!! So often the story ends at the wedding, but sometimes that’s where the real trouble begins.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

I love what you’re doing with your characters, Elisabeth. I’d like to give them both a hug and a smack, so I’d say you have me involved in their lives!! So often the story ends at the wedding, but sometimes that’s where the real trouble begins.

I'm glad you're feeling the feels, Grits! Consider it payback for your story making me bawl like a baby XD

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Okiday, y'all, I PROMISE there will be some fighting soon, but Kayla is an emotional being... if you can't tell. She has to get back on her feet first before doing anything, lol.

CHAPTER 11

"Sometimes the thing you've been waiting for is snatched from you. You pretend to move on, but secretly you keep hoping, leaving doors open, loose ends untied, praying that what you want most will find its way to you. You smile, nod, and lie to peoples' faces. You accept the sword thrust into your hands, and view every obstacle as one step closer to your desire. Everyone trying to kill you is another evil being trying to stop you from getting what you want, what you need, to survive.

Then, you feel as if you've reached the end. Where is your reward? Where is what you want? Where is the money, the fame? Where is the man or woman you've fought for? Where is the family, the comfort of obscurity? You spend most of your life fighting, waiting, hoping, praying, and for what?

Some say something greater. I do not feel that way. "


I put down my quill and stare at what I wrote. When was the last time I had written? I wondered. I turned back a page and read, and when I did, a note fell out. I glanced at the page before opening the note.

"I have never felt such warmth from a man as I have from him. One glance tells me all I need to know, that he cares for me like no one else has before. He slipped me another note during practice today, and enchanted it to whisper my name. I am keeping it folded in this journal to remind me that I AM loveable, even to humans.

To think I grew up listening to the lies of my adoptive parents, that I wasn't good enough for a Nord man, that I would never find anyone like me. Onmund is more like me than anyone I've met. He too, was discouraged from magick, and though he still has his family, he knows what it's like to be alone."

I opened the note, and I heard Onmund's voice whisper gently, "Kayla..." I closed my journal before allowing the ink to dry, putting the note back between the pages. I slammed the journal so hard against the table, it skidded and hit the wall, and knocked the ink bottle over.

I swore, grabbing a cloth, wetting it in the washbasin in my room and scrubbing the ink. All I accomplished was spreading the dark ink around on the unfinished wood. With a growl of frustration I threw the cloth across the room before kicking at the table. The table shifted slightly, the heavy wood popping my toe.

I screeched in pain and fell on my bed. Lydia leapt into my room as I started sobbing. She pried my hands away from my bare foot and examined it. I continued to bawl like a child, even as she stared at me.

"Kayla, you're fine. Your foot isn't even broken."

"BUT MY HEART IS!" I wailed.

"For the love of- for a woman raised by Nords, you sure are the weakest thing I've ever seen!"

I sniffed and glared at her. "I am not weak!" I spat, sitting up on the bed and yanking my foot from her grasp. "I have all of these emotions, and don't know how to deal with them."

Lydia looked at me straight in the eyes and grabbed my shoulders. "How do you think Uthgerd deals with her emotions? How do you think Aela deals with hers? How do I deal with mine?"

She shook me gently. "This world will keep on moving whether you are in pain or not, whether your emotions are good or bad. You need to stop blubbering like an infant and woman up!"

She let me go. "It's been two weeks now. All you have done is sit around, moping, reading trashy novels and eat sweetrolls." She poked my belly. "You are getting soft. The fiercest fighting elf I've ever met besides Irileth is crying over a boy!"

Lydia faced me on my bed and took my shocked face into her hands. "Do you know what Nord women do when they are heartbroken?"

I shook my head. "I've never stayed around anyone long enough to find out."

Lydia grinned. "Put on your most comfortable set of clothing. You and I are going to have some fun."

~~~~~~~~

"No."

Lydia pulled harder at my arm. "Kayla, it will be fine. He won't be in there. Besides, there's someone I want you to meet." Lydia gave a final tug on my arm and I relented, allowing her to pull me to The Bannered Mare. Along with the usual patron, the place was filled with those who usually didn't frequent the inn. Hulda's usually stern expression was brightened with a smile.

That was odd enough, but was was even stranger was the man twirling her around in the middle of the main room. Her blonde hair looked matted with sweat, and her blue eyes were lit up with enjoyment. The man, wearing a black robe, caught my eye and winked before twirling a willing Hulda around in a circle, then leaning her back and planting a kiss on her cheek. She giggled and bowed when the patrons began to clap.

As Hulda took her normal spot behind the bar, the man walked up to us, grinning from ear to ear. He greeted Lydia with a kiss on the cheek and eyed me up and down.

"Is this the friend you told me about, Lydia?" His brown eyes glittered in the firelight. Up close, I could tell he was a Breton, something that explained his litheness on the dance floor and the mage robes. His strong cheekbones weren't hidden by a burly beard, that should have been my third clue. The air about him told me he was a strict magick user. I supposed that was what kept his dark brown hair looking smooth and strangely dry from sweat.

He took my hand in one of his and gently touched it with his lips. Warmth spread up my arm and into my gut. Was he using a charm spell on me? I quickly pulled my arm from his grasp. That didn't seem to bother him.

"My name is Sam Guevenne, Conjurer and Breton scholar." He bowed deep. "Lydia said you've been in a fog the past few months, and are in need of some fun." He leaned in close and whispered something to Lydia, who blushed and shook her head. He shot me a disappointed look but it was quickly replaced with another easy grin.

"Lydia says you're more of a one-on-one kind of girl. A shame," His eyes darted between Lydia and I appreciatively,"but I can work with that."

He motioned to a nearby table, and we sat. Mikael began playing his lute as the patron settled back down into the usual murmur of quieted voices. Sam sat across from Lydia and I, leaning back into his chair. As it dawned on me what he meant about one-on-one, I began fidgeting. My leg bounced up and down and I sorely wished I had brought a dagger. Although if he tries anything, a fireball down his pants might cure any ideas he may have.

Sam seemed to sense my uneasy nature. Either that, or he saw my eyes look longingly at the exit, my bouncing knee, and what was probably an owlish loook of anxiety on my face. He produced a conjured mug and slid it towards me.

"You look like you could use a drink. Here. My own special brew." His eyes glinted dangerously at that last statement, and my own eyes narrowed.

"No thank you, I don't drink," I lied.

Sam's eyes shot up in surprise. "You were born and raised in Skyrim, and you don't drink? Not even wine?"

Lydia elbowed me in the ribs. "Kayla, I've had a sip, and it's delicious."

I sighed and pulled the mug towards me. I sniffed it. It seemed alright. I began to put the mug towards my lips when I noticed the grin on Sam's face. It wasn't quite malevolent, but it definitely wasn't a grin that would be on the lips of someone who was safe, either. I put the mug down and slid it back.

"I'm sorry, but I don't trust magically inclined beverages."

Sam shrugged.

"Alright, more for me." He grabbed the mug and chugged it, wiped his mouth, then let out a loud belch. Lydia stifled a laugh. I looked at her in surprise. She scooted her chair closer to him and suddenly I felt like a third wheel.

"I, uhm, am going to go talk to Hulda. See what I've missed." Neither one of them looked up or acknowledged my departure. They were immersed in flirty glances and close whispers before I could even speak.

I sat down at the bar and before I could ask Hulda about any gossip, I heard my name.

"Hello, Kayla. I didn't expect you to be in here."

I turned around at the familiar voice.

"Hello, Onmund."

[mALX]

This is the most powerful chapter to date, immensely immersive into Kayla's mind. The whole chapter could be quoted, but this in particular is so stunning I couldn't leave without quoting it:

"Sometimes the thing you've been waiting for is snatched from you. You pretend to move on, but secretly you keep hoping, leaving doors open, loose ends untied, praying that what you want most will find its way to you. You smile, nod, and lie to peoples' faces. You accept the sword thrust into your hands, and view every obstacle as one step closer to your desire. Everyone trying to kill you is another evil being trying to stop you from getting what you want, what you need, to survive.

Then, you feel as if you've reached the end. Where is your reward? Where is what you want? Where is the money, the fame? Where is the man or woman you've fought for? Where is the family, the comfort of obscurity? You spend most of your life fighting, waiting, hoping, praying, and for what?

This was your most tremendous write to date, I absolutely loved this chapter!

[King Of Beasts]

"My name is Sam Guevenne, Conjurer and Breton scholar."

More like Sanguine, daedric prince of debauchery I sense trouble....

I don't think the encounter with Onmund will go well either, but I'll find out next chapter, eh?

[McBadgere]

I absolutely loved that section in the house...Such wonderful writing...So sad, and heartbreaking...Loved it!!... ...

And then she went to the pub and got hit on by a Daedric Lord...Pfft...Yeah, we've all been there...*Does the snail fingers salute*... ...

Loved the way Kayla managed to sidestep Sammie-boy's advances...That was cool...

Also made me laugh that while Kayla is a "One on one kinda girl." The suggestion is, of course, that Lydia isn't necessarily so... ...

It'll be interesting to see how she deals with Onmund...

I'm loving this story so much...

Excellent stuff...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Also made me laugh that while Kayla is a "One on one kinda girl." The suggestion is, of course, that Lydia isn't necessarily so... ...

[Acadian]

Some wonderful time spent with Kayla’s thoughts, doubts and insecurities. A note enchanted to whisper Kayla’s name! Wow, how romantic is that? I simply loved the ink mishap that you used to transition from her rumination. And the temper toe tantrum that followed.

Lydia’s stern counsel was so spot on and insightful, but I had to laugh at her unwise prescription of a threesome with Smooth Sam. Even if he can conjure his own drinks.

And another encounter with Onmund along the rocky road of a relationship she has with him.

Couple small nits -
’ I put down my quill and stare at what I wrote.’
You want stared vs stare of course.

‘That was odd enough, but was was even stranger...’
I’m sure you wanted ‘what’ instead of the first ‘was’ here.

[SubRosa]

I finished the first chapter. You certainly start your tale out well. One of the things I learned from my creative writing classes (and from reading books on writing) is to always start your story with something that will grab the reader. Your first page is like a hook, you need to set it firmly in the fish (reader's) mouth and reel them in. Otherwise they might become bored and put your book down. Well, you got my attention, and in a good way, I am not putting this down now!

Kayla is certainly an interesting character, she is fun, has an obvious sense of duty, and seems to be pretty good at what she does.

Since you asked for feedback, my first thought after finishing the first chapter is that I have no idea what she is (as in, is she an elf, or old, or young, a red-head, a mohawk punk grrl, etc... That makes it a little hard to picture her in my head, since I do not know what to picture! Maybe you will be filling us in with those things in the following chapters I have not gotten to yet. If so, then no worries, I will get there. If not, you might consider working in some of those things about K.

Now on to some steam of consciousness style things I noticed when I was reading (I always comment while I read, otherwise I forget what I was going to say).

You're dead. Stop acting like you're alive!
This was very cute!

Potema has called me to her side. When she spoke, my vision grew fuzzy. I wasn't expecting her to use her magicka to contact me. I'll have to steel myself for any future contact.
I liked how you made the implication here that Potema's speech was telepathic, rather than physical. It is a nice piece of world-building.

I will never understand why Skyrim has so many caves. How has it not collapsed from under them?
Again, very tongue in cheek. I love Kayla's ironic sense of humor.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jan 24 2013, 12:13 AM

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Why thank you! At some point I'll be going back and revamping the chapters, since I've seen my writing weaknesses and plan on strengthening them. At first, I was working with the assumption that everyone knew where I was and what I was doing because they had done that quest, but felt that was a bit lazy and needed to put more detail in there.

I really really appreciate you stopping by and reviewing! :]

[Colonel Mustard]

I caught up! I caught up on the parts I missed!

They were pretty good, all in all. I'll admit that Kayla was kind of pushing against my Maximum Tolerable Broodosity Threshold in these last few chapters but I'm pleased to see Lydia knocked some sense into her. I'll admit that I was a tad disappointed that Kayle decided to turn down Sam's offers of a good night, though I admit that while I would find a hungover Kayla blearily stumbling across Skyrim trying to work out what the hell happened last night absolutely hilarious, it would be a pretty major shift in the story's tone.

And oh look, Onmund's here. This is going to be interesting...

[Grits]

Oh, I love the whispering note!

"Kayla, you're fine. Your foot isn't even broken."

"BUT MY HEART IS!" I wailed.

"For the love of- for a woman raised by Nords, you sure are the weakest thing I've ever seen!"

Yay for Lydia calling it like she sees it. She is a friend who would tell you when there’s lipstick on your teeth (maybe even while you’re hitting on the same guy).

"Is this the friend you told me about, Lydia?"

Whoa, or maybe she’s the friend who accidentally gets you in a threesome with a daedric prince. Either way, she sounds like a keeper!

Kayla’s thoughts in the beginning provided so much insight into her. What a great chapter!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Wow, I must not have been paying attention. I didn't see these reviews!

Yeah, Kayla was getting on my nerves too. But she's out and about! Although threesomes aren't her style. She doesn't know he's Sanguine, but she could definitely tell there was something up in that "special brew" Sam tried to give her.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

I haven't been working on this too much... real life being a real drag sometimes... work, children...animals. I haven't decided which one of those my husband is yet.

Anways...

Where we are: Lydia convinced Kayla to visit the local inn, The Bannered Mare, after getting tired of her moping. She met Sanguine, disguised as a Breton mage named Sam Guevenne. After turning down an evening with him Onmund finds her.




I shifted uncomfortably in the bar stool. Hulda raised her eyebrows and pretended to search the bar.

"I think there's a clean mug around here somewhere... Ah, nope. Guess I'll look in the cellar." She disappeared quickly before I could beg her to stay.

I couldn't look at Onmund. He sat next to me, his shoulders tense. He's wearing the robes I got him, I thought. The corner of my mouth twitched, a small smile threatening to spread. I then remembered the circumstances we faced and the chasm threatened to swallow me whole. I remembered Lydia's words and found a foothold.

"So, how are you doing?" I inquired. I kept my face as neutral as possible, hands in my lap, sitting as straight as I could. I wished I had a drink to sip nonchalantly. Onmund's head bobbed, his face neutral as well.

"Good, good." He said. "I'm doing well. I've been-" He was cut off by a sudden roar of the crowd. We turned to see what the commotion was, and see Lydia dancing with Sam, her brown hair already gistening with sweat while Sam's was completely in place. Sam had her twirling like a child's top toy, her face alight with glee and excitement. Onmind continued over the laughter and clapping.

"I've been speaking with Farengar Secret-Fire," he shouted. The next thing he said was drowned out by more laughter and clapping, and I waved him closer. He leaned in, practically shouting in my ear.

"He's been helping me with my enchanting skill, and I've learned a few things from him. I'm still not that good, but I'm a bit better than I was before." I remembered the enchanted note and felt the chasm open wider.

"That's great!" I shouted. Lydia was now dancing with Farkas, a hulking man from the Companions, his twin brother Vilkas laughing at his clumsy footing. I heard him shout an insult about how his footing while dancing was almost as bad as his footwork while fighting, but I couldn't laugh. Onmund's eyes caught mine, and I felt the chasm open wider with the yearning I felt.

My hand twitched to touch his, but I reeled in the impulse and looked away from Onmund. I began to fidget with the stitching on the hem of my shirt. Onmund sighed.

"Kayla-"

Another roar from the crowd interrupted Onmund, and he leaned in and shouted, "Can we go somewhere quiet? I have something to say to you."

I grinned half-heartedly."What, you don't like it in here?" Onmund handsome face cracked a smile.

"Come on. Come to my room."

It wasn't too much quieter in his room, but we didn't have to shout. It was too cold for me to stand outside anyways, I reasoned. I knew it wasn't the smartest idea to be alone with Onmund, especially with how fresh the heartbreak was in my heart.

Onmund's room looked like it was well lived-in. Dirty clothes occupied a corner by the large wooden door, books and notes were scattered on the table against the wall on the farthest side of the room, and the bed was unmade. Sketches of soul gems adorned the wall above the table with notes scribbled on them, some with ink splatters, some with smudges and smears.

A small glint caught my eye. A silver dagger sat on the bedside table, along with a clay cup of water. I picked up the dagger, twirling it in my fingers. I looked closely at the blade.

"This is enchanted," I remarked. I pressed the tip of the blade against the area above my knuckle and made a small cut, barely enough to draw blood. Onmund's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"WHAT are you doing?!" He made a grab for the blade, and I ducked under his arm.

"I'm seeing what the enchantment is! Calm down!"

"You could have asked!"

I felt a bit tired, and slightly weaker, then rejuvinated again. "You made a vampire blade?" I asked. I set the bade back on the nightstand, a little less than gently.

"I don't call it a vampire blade," Onmund sniffed. "I just call it 'The First Weapon I Have Ever Enchanted Alone.' Or Fwihea for short." He pronounced it "fweh."

I stared at him. "That's the dumbest-" A loud clamour in the hallway interrupted me, and shortly died down.

"This place is insane!"

"It usually isn't like this," Onmund agreed. He sat on the bed, the neatest place in the room. I sat on the chair next to the larger table and glanced at his notes. Onmund stood up and quickly neatened the clutter. I held my breath to avoid smelling the musk he used, and sat stiffly in my chair as he leaned over me.

Once Onmund sat back down I folded my hands in my lap.

"You wanted to discus something?" My voice sounded a little bit too bright. Onmund cleared his throat.

"Yes, uhm," He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them back up, his green eyes looked me in the eye... no, more like my cheek. He looked a bit nervous. He swallowed.

"I've been thinking," What seemed like a rehearsed speech became a rant with the words run together. He stood back up and began pacing in front of me, gesturing emphatically as he talked.

"I've thought hard about it, and think you're right, I don't need to be adventuring with you, maybe I should be focusing on the skills I need to enhance instead of thinking the ones I have are enough, like my enchanting skill, because that could bring in a lot of money and maybe I wouldn't be so bored at the house, and besides I miss you and maybe if I acted a little more serous about being useful out there, you'd think I was good enough."

He took a deep breath, panting. He waited for me to answer, staring nervously at me. I could only blink in surprise. I realized my eyebrows were almost to my hairline and lowered them, clearing my throat.

"So... uhm..."

Onmund sat down on his bed. "I know how it sounds, but just listen. Once I get back from the College-"

"Oh, whoa, wait, what?" I jumped up from my chair. "You're going back to the College to do this?"

Onmund sighed, and stood up. In two strides he reached me and took my trembling fists in his hands. He looked up at me, his mossy green eyes full of...

"Kayla, I love you. That has not changed. And because I love you, I want to be with you and protect you. The only way to do that is become better than what I am."

"But you-"

At that, I was cut off by a banging on the door. A gravelly male voice shouted, "Hey you two!" He slurred his words terribly. "I jess wan' -hic- see if-" The rest was inaudible, and there was such a ruckus I suspected he had fallen asleep against the door. I turned towards Onmund.

"We will continue this discussion tomorrow."

"There is no discussion, Kayla. I'm going. I don't understand why you won't let-"

Another crash interrupted. Already furious, I flung the door open and roared.

"WHAT IS GOING ON OUT HERE?"

Drunken bodies lay on the wooden floor of the inn, most of them half clothed, and the rest were fully nude. I saw parts of people I had known for years that I had never thought of, and never wanted to think of again. I saw Lydia propped in a corner, half-clothed with a vacant glazed look on her face. She had a man and a woman on either side of her, both of them in different states of undress.

I could feel the revulsion travel up my throat at the site of the townsfolk. Onmund came out behind me. Most of the revelry had died down, but a few stragglers kept up the festivities, drinking, belching, and romancing. Sam included. The first thing I noticed was that he was fully nude. The second...

"Dear gods, how do you walk with that?!"

I clamped my hand over my mouth and turned bright red, embarrassed at my outburst. I heard Onmund choke behind me, and turned around to face him. I felt hot embarrassment rush into my face as Onmund's face turned green. The image of Sam's not-so-little "Sam" looking freely about would haunt me for the rest of my natural life.

"Please put that away. I can't... how am I supposed to yell at you with that looking at me?"

Sam laughed behind me, and Onmund huffed.

"What do you feed that thing, anyways?" Onmund shot.

"Kayla!" Sam called. "Look! It's as flexible as a Khajiit's tale!"

I buried my head in Onmund's robe, fighting the urge to look and to laugh from embarrassment. I never thought of myself as a prude, but I'm no voyeur. The sight of others naked usually didn't bother me, unless they were... well...

Onmund got angry. He planted his hands on my shoulders. "Stop taunting my WIFE, Sam!"

I heard Sam laugh behind me. "Oh, you can indulge in adultery, but your wife can't appreciate another man?"

Onmund growled.

"Just conjure yourself a loincloth... if you can find one with enough cloth!" I shouted into Onmund's robe. I felt a shudder of magick, and cautiously turned around. Sam was fully clothed in the unassuming black mage robes he had on when we met earlier that evening. He had the same easy grin on his face, and his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Aw, what's the matter, elf? A little prudish, are we? Lydia was right, you do need some more fun."

"Come on, Onmund, we're leaving." I grabbed Onmund's arm and started to pull him along. Sam chuckled as we passed him.

"You don't have to leave. I can loosen you up really well." He put an arm on my shoulder. I let go of Onmund and aimed a punch straight at Sam's mouth. I struck air. I stumbled forward and noticed my complete lack of clothing.

"Nice tattoo." Sam quipped from behind me. I covered myself frantically with my hands and looked incredulously at him.

"Give me back my clothing! You sore-sucking festering piece of-"

Sam chuckled. "Been too busy to groom?"

"Shut-"

"I see you're getting a bit soft in the midsection."

"Vile scamp fu-"

"Calm down, those things could cut glass!"

Onmund stared at me.

"ONMUND! Cover me up!"

Onmund snapped back into reality. He quickly rushed over and wrapped his arms around me. Sam was bent over, howling with laughter. I shot him the most venomous look I could while clinging to Onmund.

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Unlikely." Sam straightened up and wiped tears from his eyes. I began to pull Onmund along, inching towards the door. Sam shrugged.

"I think I've had enough fun for tonight." He waggled his eyebrows devilishly.

And with that, Sam vanished in a shimmer of magick.