No Elves in Sovngarde, I've decided to to turn my "A day in Skyrim" adventure i Options

[King Of Beasts]

Onmund is still on my 'I'm going to feed you to the bears' radar, but he's sort of.....redeemed himself in this chapter.

Sanguine was hilarious He's my second favorite daedric prince, and you've really showed his mischievous personality. Well done -claps-

My comment shouldn't be complete without a:

Good Job

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Jan 26 2013, 06:00 PM

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Call me a party-pooper, but Sanguine really irritates me, He's all "PARTAAAAAY! WHOOOOOOO!" and I'm like "I have work in the morning, go to bed!"

And he's all "NO! You need to get drunk!"

And I'm all

"Shaddup, I have to sleep! Now I'm wide awake! Jerk!"

Then he drags me out of bed and tosses me in the middle of a 9 person orgy, hands me a bottle of vodka and tells me good luck.

He KNOWS I'm allergic to vodka!!!

[mALX]

You brought Sam "Sanguine" to life in this - really showed his personality tremendously! Awesome write!

[Colonel Mustard]

Call me a party-pooper, but Sanguine really irritates me, He's all "PARTAAAAAY! WHOOOOOOO!" and I'm like "I have work in the morning, go to bed!"

And he's all "NO! You need to get drunk!"

And I'm all

"Shaddup, I have to sleep! Now I'm wide awake! Jerk!"

Then he drags me out of bed and tosses me in the middle of a 9 person orgy, hands me a bottle of vodka and tells me good luck.

He KNOWS I'm allergic to vodka!!!

Well the other nine of us are trying to enjoy the orgy, you know.

It's good to see Onmund and Kayla are willing to talk about things like adults, but I'll admit that the real star of the chapter was Sanguine; he just kept making me laugh throughout that chapter ("Look! It's as flexible as a Khajiit's tail!") but at the same time he still managed to be faintly sinister. Very nicely done.

[King Coin]

"I just call it 'The First Weapon I Have Ever Enchanted Alone.' Or Fwihea for short."
Creative! I do think it’s kind of strange that she’s willing to find out what the enchantment is by using it on herself! Good thing it wasn’t a blade with properties like Mehrunes’ Razor!

Lydia’s certainly in a better mood than she normally is.

"Kayla!" Sam called. "Look! It's as flexible as a Khajiit's tale!"
This just gets worse and worse!

[McBadgere]

What I thought was most interesting about it was Kayla's hypocrisy in it all...She wants to go get back out there, which caused the row which led to her letting Onmund go, yet now she's going to complain and stamp her feet if he wants to go back to the College to improve his abilities?... ...Blimey...*Tuts*...Women!!... ...

An excellent chapter with many a raised one proudly on display...Eyebrows!!!...Raised eyebrows!!...Blimey... ...

Fantastic write...Brilliant stuff...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

[Elisabeth Hollow]

What I thought was most interesting about it was Kayla's hypocrisy in it all...She wants to go get back out there, which caused the row which led to her letting Onmund go, yet now she's going to complain and stamp her feet if he wants to go back to the College to improve his abilities?... ...Blimey...*Tuts*...Women!!... ...

Welcome to the mind of a woman. We want you to be a man, but you should just do it magically! XD

[McBadgere]

What, like us magically knowing what to buy you for Valentine's or somehow magically remembering when our anniversary is?... ...

[Acadian]

You captured the busy bar very effectively, right down to having to lean closer to hear a conversation. I’m glad you lingered a moment to describe Onmund’s room – it helped show a bit about him and reinforced the distance between them. And another conversation that makes some progress. . . or not, because it was cut off by the remnants of Sam’s orgy. I see Sanguine is having plenty of fun with the same ‘clothes-be-gone’ spell he issued out to intrepid adventurers in Oblivion.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

What, like us magically knowing what to buy you for Valentine's or somehow magically remembering when our anniversary is?... ...

Hey, if you LISTENED to us... XD

[Elisabeth Hollow]

I've got the next chapter written up.

Good news. ^

Bad news is it's almost 3,000 words, and I've trimmed all of the fat not important to the story or scenery.

I can Post all of it at once, or split it in half and post about 1500 in one post, then post the next part a few hours later.

Or, The first post would be about 546 words, which is where the first break in the story is, then the rest in the second post.

The choice is up to y'all. I know a few of y'all like wordy postings, but a lot of y'all don't. I knew some readers get bored with a giant wall of text. Hence why I'm leaving it up to y'all.

This post has been edited by Elisabeth Hollow: Jan 30 2013, 07:49 AM

[SubRosa]

I've got the next chapter written up.

Good news. ^

Bad news is it's almost 3,000 words, and I've trimmed all of the fat not important to the story or scenery.

I can Post all of it at once, or split it in half and post about 1500 in one post, then post the next part a few hours later.

Or, The first post would be about 546 words, which is where the first break in the story is, then the rest in the second post.

The choice is up to y'all. I know a few of y'all like wordy postings, but a lot of y'all don't. I knew some readers get bored with a giant wall of text. Hence why I'm leaving it up to y'all.

I suggest splitting into roughly equal halves, and posting them several days apart, if not longer. I typically make a post that size once week. It does not hurt to have a few posts sitting in the can. That can give you something to put up even when you have not been writing for one reason or another. It also helps people keep caught up with all of the fics they are trying to read.

[mALX]

Gotta agree with SubRosa on this, if there is any good stopping point midway to cut it into two posts it is always better than a wall of words.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

I tried splitting it into 2 parts, and it failed. So I split it into 3. I will post one part tonight, one tomorrow morning, then one at the end of the day tomorrow. That way it doesn't feel like I've interrupted the story so much.

Give me a bit more time to edit and quadruple-check that everything is okay. I've been a bit sick lately, so I'm not 100% sure everything is good.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Previous Chapter Summary: After being convinced by Lydia to out instead of moping, they both went to The Bannered Mare, where they met Sam/Sanguine. Kayla met Onmund at the bar at the inn. After heading to his room to talk, the commotion made Kayla angry after Onmund told her he was leaving Whiterun. Checking on the noise, Sam promptly removed her clothing via magick and humiliated her.



Chapter... I don't know what chapter this is.


Onmund sheltered me from the nips of the Skyrim chill with his robe. When my teeth bagan to chatter, he didn't say a word. He didn't tease me for being susceptible to the cold, nor did he tease me about the goosebumps on my body. When we got to our house, I quickly dashed inside and up the steps.

Onmund stoked the fire while I changed into my nightgown and dove under the covers. Once the house was toasty, he climbed the steps slowly. He sat on the bed next to me.

After a moment, I spoke. "So you're really leaving?"

Onmund shifted his weight. "I am. But not for a few days now. After what happened tonight, I'm afraid to leave you alone."

I turned to him. "Really? You're looking out for me? You're not just afraid I'll leave you for Sam's huge..." I shuddered with disgust.

He smiled. "Sam could get the crowd rowdy. I don't think Sanguine himself knows how to get folks in a good mood like he does." He scooted closer to me, and his green eyes were serious. "But that aside, I want to make sure you're alright."

He leaned closer. "You think you're strong, but there are some things you can't protect yourself from. People like Sam are one of them. They'll do whatever they want with no regard for anyone else. I want to keep you safe from that, or at least stand beside you when you face it."

My eyes watered. "Okay."

That's all I could say. What else was there to say? Onmund was leaving, and he was set in his decision. He wanted to become a better mage to protect me. And he was right. As strong as I've become, sometimes I can't protect myself. Just because I'm terrified of losing Onmund, doesn't mean he isn't terrified of losing me.

He laid beside me, and I put my head on his chest and snuggled close to him. I listened to his heart for a few moments. Suddenly, it sped up.

"Kayla..." Onmund began. "Are we going to talk about... our argument a few weeks ago?"

"What is there to talk about? I treated you-"

He shushed me. "Stop. Kayla. Just stop. That's not what I meant." When I looked at him curiously, he swallowed.

"You... said... 'another town.' Was Morthal not the first town you've seen...?"

My throat felt dry. He was treading dangerously close to what I had kept hidden. The lies of why I was terrified of vampires, of why I never spoke of my family. Why I kept him so close.

"So, I didn't know Lydia swung both ways," My tone was too bright. I shrugged. "I don't care, but it's surprising t-"

"Kaylaaaa." Onmund drew out the last syllable of my name impatiently. He tapped my forehead gently, then sat up. I faced him, sitting on the bed. He gave me a serious look.

"Tell me."

"It's ugly."

"Tell me."

"It's horrifying."

He took my face in his hands, and locked his mossy green eyes onto mine.

"Tell me."

"There's something you should know first. My real name isn't Kayla. It's Nisse."

"Is that a Nord name or an Altmer name?"

"I don't know..."

"Tell me the rest, love."

I took a deep breath and readied myself for the long tale.

This post has been edited by Elisabeth Hollow: Feb 1 2013, 05:10 PM

[McBadgere]

Heh...Nips... ...*Slaps wrist*...Grow up man!!...

Aaaamywho...Excellent chapter...They're talking all nice at the mo...It'll be interesting to see how he feels at the end of her tale, now knowing she's not who she said she was...And all that...

"So, I didn't know Lydia swung both ways," My tone was too bright. I shrugged. "I don't care, but it's surprising t-"

Hah...Excellent deflection... ...

Brilliant stuff, as ever...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...


EDIT!!...Ooooh, normally people drop the "H" in words...You've added one to "Our house" towards the start of the chapter...Not a big thing...Just saying...Is all...

This post has been edited by McBadgere: Feb 1 2013, 01:55 PM

[Colonel Mustard]

Ooh, backstory time!

I don't have tons to say on this chapter, seeing as it's kind of short and concerned only with buildup and so forth, but I enjoyed reading and you've certainly got me interested in the next chapter.

He smiled. "Sam could get the crowd rowdy. I don't think Sanguine himself knows how to get folks in a good mood like he does."

And this is the bit where the man just in front of the stage holds up the sign saying 'irony'.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Here's the second part :] I apologize that the story is declining in substance. I'm trying to make it good :/

Where we are: Kayla is spilling secrets about her past, part one.



I sifted through the dirt with my tiny grubby hands, looking for any new plants I could find. While the other children played in the streams, and dared each other to walk as far away from the village as they could before running screaming back into the safety of the guardsmen's sights, I was digging in the dirt.

The town was small, mostly farming, with one blacksmith's shop. I had strong arms and legs from helping with digging the plants, hoeing, and pulling weeds. But I was still slight, and didn't grow muscles like the other kids. I was told it was due to me being an elf. Our frames were smaller than humans.

An old Breton man stood outside his shop. He had only been in the town for a few weeks, but his potions of stamina for the farmers as well as his remedies for sleepless infants, monthly visitors for the women and his mixtures to keep said monthlies coming, made him a welcome asset to the town. I caught his eye, and he ushered me towards him with a wave of his hands.

"My, my, child you're filthy! Come here, little elf, let me look at you."

I held out my grimy hands to the grey-haired Breton, his wrinkled face pulled into a look of shock by his bushy white eyebrows. I kept my eyes averted, staring at the man's shoes.

"What's that in your mouth?" He asked, staring at the green stem poking from between my tiny lips. I quickly pulled the stem from my mouth and hid it behind my back.

"Were you eating a flower?"

I nodded. "The purple and blue ones taste bad, but the red ones make me feel sick. They smell pretty though." I stuck my hand into the pocket of my dress and showed him the contents, naming what they do.

I pulled out what I now know to be a White Cap mushroom and said "This makes the tingling in my fingers feel funny. Don't tell Ma, but I can make fire in my hands." I gave him a serious look and whispered, "She says that's bad."

A small, impressed smile crept onto his face as I continued. There was something else in his eyes, but my younger self never realized what it was.

"This makes me sleepy, people don't notice me so good with this, and this," I proudly held up my most prized possession, "Makes me feel not so cold. Ma says because I'm an elf and not a Nord, I get colder than they do." I shrugged. " I don't know what that means."

The old Breton man seemed to shift his demeanor at this statement. I mistook his head-shaking and mutterings of "Tis a shame," as me doing something wrong, and wanted to keep the man's attention.

I pulled out a dead bee and held it up to him. "I don't feel sleepy if I eat this. Ma says it's cuz the stinger's in my tongue."

A look of comprehensive horror crossed the old man's face. He shrieked, "You eat these?!"

I slunk back, feeling as if I had done wrong. "I only ate it once. I'm sorry!" I ran, dropping the ingredients I had clutched in my hand, including the Frost Mirriam. The old Breton man shouted after me. Tears streaming from my eyes, I ran behind the shop to behind the town tavern and cried.

My Ma found me and scolded me for being there.

"There are drunks who might mistake you for a stump. Stay away from there." She pulled me up by my hand and knelt down.

"Why the tears?" She thumbed away the tears on my face, and I wiped the snot on my sleeve.

"I made Old Bear angry."

"You made who what now?"

"Old Bear." I pointed to the alchemy shop a few buildings away.

Ma laughed. "You mean Albert." She pronounced it 'al-bear.' "Unless you swiped a potion, or set something on fire-" Her eyes grew wide. "You didn't set his shop on fire, did you?"

I shook my head vigorously. "I showed him the stuff I picked up. He got mad when I told him about the bees." I knitted my eyebrows together. "You know about the fire?"

She drew me in for a hug. "Of course I do, Nisse."

Despite the filth I was covered in, Ma always gave me hugs. She was a strong, shapely woman, with lines on her face and ample hips and stomach from bearing 2 children. Her salt and pepper hair spoke of age before her time, though she was in her 30's, she had 3 children to tend to as well as a husband to feed. She never shorted me on love, though.

We walked, her pale hand in my small tan one, to our house. My grip tightened as we approached. Uncle Njal would be in there. She returned the squeeze reassuringly and planted a quick kiss to my cheek before opening the door.

I kept my head down, ignoring the angry stare from Uncle Njal. He said nothing to me, but spoke to Ma.

"Was it playing in the dirt again?"

"Njal!" My mother exclaimed.

I snickered, as always, at my uncle's unfortunate name. This caught his attention, and he stood up.

"Silence, you disgusting knife-ear!"

I bolted to the room I shared with my two sisters, tears spilling from my eyes. I threw myself on the straw bed I shared with my younger sister, covering my ears against the screaming match between my Ma and her brother.

"I TOLD you to stop talking to her like that! She is-"

"An ELF! She isn't even human, and you insist on treating her like one!"

"She is my CHILD!"

"You should have left her to die in the cold!"

"That's IT! That's the last straw!"

I began to sob into the scratchy pillow. My Ma threw my uncle out of the house and told him to never come back. I heard her bolt the door after slamming it. She tapped on the wooden door to my and my sibling's room and opened it a crack. She saw me sobbing on the bed and sat next to me, patting my back.

"There, there," she soothed. "He's gone."

"Why -hiccup- does he -hiccup- hate me so much, Ma? What did I do?"

"He's always been like that. He's always hated anything not human."

I sat up. "I'm not human? Am I a monster, Ma?" My lower lip trembled as another wail threatened to escape from my lungs. She pulled me into another one of her soft hugs.

"No, my child, you're no monster. You're just an elf. And there's nothing wrong with that. I love you as much as I love your sisters." She thumbed away the tears on my face for the second time that day.

"Come help me make dinner. Wash your hands and face and put on a clean smock." She stood up, gave me a kiss, and walked out. A few moments passed and I walked to the washbasin. I meticulously scrubbed my hands, arms, and face before putting on a clean smock.

"I don't care if you're an elf."

The small voice made me jump, and I look around for the source. A tiny raven-haired girl with curls framing her face climbed out from under the bed I was lying on moments before.

"Asta, you scared me!"

My youngest sister smiled slightly. For a child, she was solemn. Ma said the day she was born, she didn't cry. She just opened her big blue eyes and stared at her, much like she was staring at me now.

"I don't care that you're an elf," Asta repeated. I hugged her.

"You're getting too good at hiding. One of these days you're going to fall asleep!"

She shook her head, her black curls dancing around her small, oval-shaped face. "Nah." She said simply. I shrugged.

"What do you want for your birthday?" I asked her. She mimicked my shrug as we walked out of our room into the kitchen.

"I don't see what's so special. I'm only turning ten."

My mother glanced at her as she was cutting up potatoes. "Each year is a blessing. Be thankful you get to have another year."

Asta shrugged again. She took the potatoes Ma had already cut up and dropped them into the water warming up over the fire, one by one.

"Don't play around, Asta! You're going to burn yourself!"

"Yes, Ma."

I washed a few carrots in the kitchen washbasin and began cutting them. Meanwhile, Asta transferred the chopped carrots to the pot as well as our mother's potatoes. Wiping her hands on her apron, my mother turned the deer leg over on the spit. The juices sizzled on the coals as the dripped from the leg. The aroma made my mouth water.

"Where is your father and Eeva?" she fussed. I could sense her concern as the night grew darker. As if summoned, a loud bang on the door made all of us jump. Ma unbolted the door and threw it open. Da strode in, with Eeva close behind. Asta and I rushed in to greet Da first, who hugged us tightly, and hugged Eeva second, who gave us a sly grin.

I have something to show you, she mouthed to me while Da was busy kissing Ma. Asta looked from me to Eeva, and was about to ask what she said when I shook my head at her. She clammed up.

"So, Albert told me to dropped some stuff off at his shop." He eyed me as we ate. "What were you doing bothering him?"

My face turned crimson. "I was looking at plants by his shop and he asked me to come talk to him ."

"Is that all?"

"I don't think Old Bear likes me."

"Old Bear?" He shot a questioning look at my Ma, and she just smiled and stifled a laugh with her hand. He turned his attention back to me.

"What did you two talk about?" He asked before he bit into some deer.

"I told him about the bees."

Da spat out the deer, which hit Eeva, who was sitting across from him at the table, in the face. Asta and giggled quietly while Eeva shrieked. Ma clapped Da on the back as she howled with laughter. I turned crimson again as I giggled. Eeva peeled the deer off her nose with disgust.

"What did-" he coughed, and Ma clapped his back again. "What did he say?"

"He got really white and looked like he was going to pass out."

Da's laughter could've shaken the walls.

[McBadgere]

That, was proper excellent right there that was...

Absolutely amazing stuff...

Reminds me of Athynae's writing...(Go read it!! Princess thread...Excellent writing there too )...

Aaaaamywho...

That was just full of the tugging at various emotion thingies...I laughed...I was just ever so slightly creeped out by "Old Bear"...Not sure if I should have been...But I was...I was disgusted by the uncle and cheered when "Ma" threw him out...

Oh so many goodnessess herein!!...

Um, if you were refering to Mustard's comment with the "Declining in substance" bit, I'm not sure he wasn't simply refering to the fact that the chapter was - from what you said - part of a larger whole and therefore served to set this next bit up, rather than having tonnes to do of itself is all...Not a complaint about yer story...Well, I'm assuming...I remember his excellent self saying much the same about one of mine in the J'Zirlo story I was doing some time ago...

This is truly some brilliant writing...

Loving it muchly...

Much muchly...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds most heartily*...

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Oh no! I just meant that I feel like I'm doing poorly since I haven't been giving y'all any action scenes.

And thank you for the compliments :]