No Elves in Sovngarde, I've decided to to turn my "A day in Skyrim" adventure i Options

[McBadgere]

When the story is due an action scene, I'm sure you will furnish us with a brilliant one...

Don't worry about what we might want, just keep writing the story as you want it...As soon as you start worrying about what others want, you'll lose focus on where you were going with it...*Points*...

*Applauds some more*... ...

[King Of Beasts]

Kayla's uncle is an a**! That's a good thing his sister kicked him out.

So, Kayla was munchin' on plants and bees? She's got some balls, considering that she ate a bee. I don't thinkin I could do that, and I'm a full grown man

[Elisabeth Hollow]

She's a kid, kids eat weird things XD

I used to eat dirt and grass and flowers to see how they tasted. I STILL look at a plant and go "I wonder what that tastes like..." XD

Clovers taste good :]

[King Of Beasts]

She's a kid, kids eat weird things XD

I used to eat dirt and grass and flowers to see how they tasted. I STILL look at a plant and go "I wonder what that tastes like..." XD

Clovers taste good :]

I used to giant Beatles and worms. I found them tasty at the time, but now whenever I think about it my stomach churns.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Oh god, WHY?!

[King Of Beasts]

Oh god, WHY?!

I don't know

[Elisabeth Hollow]

@ KoB Stop distracting me, it's time for the next installment, lol.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Once we were sent to bed, Eeva slipped out from under her covers after Ma left the room.

"Do the magic light," she whispered to me.

I opened my palm and, which much concentration, a white orb of light emitted from it. I held my hand up to see what Eeva had. The light illuminated her straight blonde hair, and the same blue eyes as Asta's looked back at me. Asta sat up beside me and peered curiously at our sister's closed palm.

"You can't tell anyone about this," Our older sister whispered seriously. We nodded solemnly, and she opened her palm. In it was a smooth, oval-shaped pearl. Asta's eyes grew wide as Eeva's were smug with pride.

"Where did you get that?" I asked suspiciously.

"Shh! I told Da I needed to relieve myself, and went and snatched it from Albert's shop."

I opened my mouth in horror. "YOU STOLE-"

Eeva slamped her hand over my mouth. "I said SHH!"

"You stole from Old Bear?!" I whispered loudly. She reached over and pinched one of my longer, pointed ears.

"OWW!"

"Don't tell anyone," she warned. Asta was sitting quietly until now.

"Why did you take it?" She asked Eeva in a timid voice.

Eeva shrugged. "Because I wanted to. To see if I could."

Asta blinked. "He didn't notice?!"

Eeva shook her head. "That old goat wouldn't notice if I had reached into his pocket with him staring straight at me."

I was upset, even though I thought Old Bear was angry with me. Old Bear liked plants, like I did.

"I need to go to sleep," I announced, and promptly laid down and turned over. When I laid down, the light went with me. In darkness, my sisters had no choice but to lie down as well. I didn't see where Eeva tucked the pearl, but I was sure it was hidden in her pillow. After a few moments, when Eeva's breathing became deep and steady, Asta whispered to me.

"Nisse."

"Yes, Asta?" I whispered back.

"Who is the bald man who comes in at night?"

"There is no bald man, Asta."

"Yes there is. He comes in and watches us sleep."

I pulled Asta close. Her soft curls rested on my arm as she snuggled up close to me.

"I'll keep you safe, Asta. I won't let the monsters get you."

"You'll throw fire at him?"

"I will."

She drifted off after a few moments, with me close behind. I pulled the covers tighter over us to keep the chill out.

What I guessed were a few hours later I awoke to Asta shaking me awake.

"He's here!" She whispered frantically. "He wants me to follow him! Nisse, I'm so scared!"

I looked sleepily around the room. I saw no dark figures, nor and shapes that looked different.

"Go back to sleep, Asta. You're still dreaming."

I turned over to put my back to her. She started sobbing quietly.

"Leave me alone! Just leave me alone."

I started to panic. I sat up and drew Asta close to me. I held out my hand and lit up the ball of light. The light filled the room, and there was no one in the room besides Asta, Eeva, and I. Still shaking, Asta whispered, "I promise you, Nisse, he was here! I swear it!"

The light woke up Eeva.

"Turn that off!" She hissed, and turned her back to us. I closed my palm, squashing the light. I pulled Asta close again, and shushed her. Her gaze fixated on a spot on the wall behind me, across the room.

"Shh, it's okay," I cooed. "He's gone now. He was too scared of your big sister." I pulled the covers closer to us and closed my eyes. Before I drifted off, I opened my eyes once more. Asta's gaze was still fixated behind me.

I fell asleep.


~~~~~~~~~~~


Onmund blinked at me.

"Your family didn't torture you? Why would you lie about that?"

"What's harder to hear, that my family tortured me and died, or that I had a wonderful family, aside from a rotten, racist uncle, who died?"

Onmund stared at me for a moment. He shook his head, looking away from me. After a moment, he looks back, his expression slightly harder.

"Keep going."

[King Of Beasts]

"Nisse."

"Yes, Asta?" I whispered back.

"Who is the bald man who comes in at night?"

"There is no bald man, Asta."

"Yes there is. He comes in and watches us sleep."

I pulled Asta close. Her soft curls rested on my arm as she snuggled up close to me.

"I'll keep you safe, Asta. I won't let the monsters get you."

"You'll throw fire at him?"

"I will."

She drifted off after a few moments, with me close behind. I pulled the covers tighter over us to keep the chill out.

What I guessed were a few hours later I awoke to Asta shaking me awake.

"He's here!" She whispered frantically. "He wants me to follow him! Nisse, I'm so scared!"

I looked sleepily around the room. I saw no dark figures, nor and shapes that looked different.

"Go back to sleep, Asta. You're still dreaming."

I turned over to put my back to her. She started sobbing quietly.

"Leave me alone! Just leave me alone."

I started to panic. I sat up and drew Asta close to me. I held out my hand and lit up the ball of light. The light filled the room, and there was no one in the room besides Asta, Eeva, and I. Still shaking, Asta whispered, "I promise you, Nisse, he was here! I swear it!"

The light woke up Eeva.

"Turn that off!" She hissed, and turned her back to us. I closed my palm, squashing the light. I pulled Asta close again, and shushed her. Her gaze fixated on a spot on the wall behind me, across the room.

"Shh, it's okay," I cooed. "He's gone now. He was too scared of your big sister." I pulled the covers closer to us and closed my eyes. Before I drifted off, I opened my eyes once more. Asta's gaze was still fixated behind me.

I fell asleep.

A creepy bald dude stalking Kayla's sister? I'm a bit scared now

Is it Movarth? Or is it a ghost. Slenderman?

Kayla had an interesting childhood.....

[Elisabeth Hollow]

You just copied 90% of the post, lol

[King Of Beasts]

You just copied 90% of the post, lol

Oops

Still, who was that bald dude? He's scaring me

[Elisabeth Hollow]

You'll find out.

IT COULD BE MALAN! BLARRRGH!

[King Of Beasts]

You'll find out.

IT COULD BE MALAN! BLARRRGH!

That's just creepy

Did he jump out if his story and into yours to give you more nightmares


I bet it's Movarth

[mALX]

GAAAAH! All that and we never found out what really happened that traumatized her? URK! Great Write!

[McBadgere]

SSSShhh!!...She'll tell us in a minute!!... ...

*Scared*...

Blimey...Either it's Nosferatu or Richard o'Brien...I'm not sure who'd be the scarier watcher really!!...

Excellent chapter...Nicely done...

Looking forward - I think - to whatever's coming next...

*Continues to be scared*...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

[Colonel Mustard]

Wait, her family weren't all abusive people who gave Kayla a hard time due to the fact that she's adopted it. That's...you...we...bwha? You can't just subvert a cliche like that!

Anyway, that was both interesting and rather creepy. I wonder who this mysterious visitor is, and what exactly happened with him, Nisse/Kayla and her sisters...

[Acadian]

So, a dark secret is being revealed from Kayla’s past. This was very well done and fascinating to read.

I loved little Kayla with her dirt, flowers and bugs! A natural alchemist if ever there was one. And I can imagine the challenges to a youngster carrying the magic that her race both cursed and blessed her with. Much more so when those raising her are round ears who lack the ability to guide and focus her talents.

"Silence, you disgusting knife-ear!"
What a cutting comment for the little Altmer to hear. ( )

Nits:
’I opened my palm and, which much concentration, a white orb of light emitted from it.’
You want 'with' instead of 'which', of course.

‘Onmund stared at me for a moment. He shook his head, looking away from me. After a moment, he looks back, his expression slightly harder.’
I’d recommend changing ‘looks’ to ‘looked’ to avoid tense hopping.

[mALX]

Sorry for the short comment, it was almost 3 am and I wasn't very prolific, lol. All three chapters were great. The first two chapters were so connected that they could have stood alone and been combined into one - Excellent Write!

That third chapter really could have waited till your next post in a few days, which since it was only about 700 words would have given you room to add to it and complete the scene.

The reason I say that is that it brings up a mystery that is wholly intriguing - in adding it to an already large post, neither you or the reader can give it the full measure of attention it could have in a stand-alone post.

All that said, you have a very good story going here, and your writing is excellent! I am loving this story!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Had I done it in two parts, one post would have been too large and the other too short. That second post is what took up all of the room. I tried splitting it, but there was no break.

I'll do better next chapter though, I promise!

[King Of Beasts]

Had I done it in two parts, one post would have been too large and the other too short. That second post is what took up all of the room. I tried splitting it, but there was no break.

I'll do better next chapter though, I promise!

At least you weren't stuck with writers block all week



[jack cloudy]

Onmund wants to improve and it looks like they're going to make up. Yay!

Also I loved Sam. He really knows how to make himself the center of the scene.

And now we have a flashback. Though I already think I know what is going to happen in the end, it will be interesting to watch it unfold. I wonder if the youngest sister is born under the tower. In Morrowind and Oblivion it gave a detection spell.