No Elves in Sovngarde, I've decided to to turn my "A day in Skyrim" adventure i Options

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Shutup XD

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Alright, y'all, we are drawing to a close to this part of Kayla's life. A couple of points I shall touch up on:

Niruin: Ma'Dat DOES know he's a vampire. When he was in the Thieves Guild, he befriended Niruin. Once he became a disciple of Meridia, he "forgot" about Niruin until Kayla needed him for information.

Dunmer child vampire: We haven't seen the last of her. Trust me.

Potions: Kayla makes her own potions for everything. Albert's kindness to her in her early life inspired her to keep learning, as well as her discouragement towards magick early on. She knew no spells, so she used potions.

Okay, half asleep writing this.

But Kayla makes her own potions. If she can, she gets her own ingredients as well. She hardly ever buys potions, and likes to have them made exactly to the strength she wants.




=-=-=-=-=-=-=-






I clutched the wound on my neck, bolting through the streets of Riften. Only guards were out at this time of night, and only looked at me curiously as I quickly climbed the step of the Temple of Mara. I threw the doors open, startling the priest inside. I sprinted to the altar and clutched the stone with both hands, willing its healing properties to cleanse me. Blood transferred from my wound to my hand smeared the cross carving in red. Mara's face was left serene and untouched in the middle.

"Stop, you're getting blood on the bust!" The priest shouted. I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back from the shrine.

"No! I need to be healed!" I wailed. I lunged towards the shrine again, but this time the priest had two hands on me.

"I will heal you, just don't get blood on Lady Mara's shrine!"

I relented. "Please heal me! Do you have a cure disease potion?"

"I do," the priest said, surprised. "Let me heal you first."

"No! Cure me first!"

The Redguard priest threw up his hands and backed off, running around the corner. He appeared a moment later with a potion bottle. I grabbed it and uncorked it, drinking it in two gulps. I sighed in relief, covering my mouth to keep the belch that followed away from the priest. His face was cool and neutral as he held his hand out towards my neck.

"May I?"

I nodded, and he motioned for me to sit. We sat in the pews, leaning towards each other. The priest asked me questions as he healed me.

"Do you feel dizzy?"

"No."

"It doesn't look like it's too deep... where did you get this wound?"

"You can't tell?"

"I want to hear it from you."

I sighed and began to turn my neck, but the priest told me to stay still. I kept my neck still as I said, "Vampire."

"Hence the cure disease potion."

I nodded.

"Don't move," he scolded. "You look familiar to me."

"I was married here." I inwardly cringed.

"Oh! How long ago was this?"

"About 2 years ago."

"Ah, young love. How are things going?"

I paused. "He died." My voice did not break.

The priest stopped his healing. "What happened? If you want to tell me."

A familiar lump welled in my throat. I swallowed it. "He was murdered by... a vampire." That old, familiar, aching chasm opened slightly. I sat comfortably at the edge of my grief and let my eyes shine with tears. It was at that moment that the priest wrapped me in a robed hug. Rough fabric scratched at my startled skin, and after a moment, I wrapped my arms around him as well and let him comfort me.

I cried until no more tears came out.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


Niruin sniffed the air. "Just up ahead." He pointed towards the caves in front of us. We edged along the sides of the cave, out of sight of the men guarding the entrance. Niruin slid along the wall silently, every movement fluid, yet precise. My leather armour creaked quietly, an occasional joint popped.

"You are incredibly noisy." Niruin whispered. I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"I'm sorry."

"No snappy comeback?" I heard a slight zip near my head as Niruin released an arrow. It planted itself in one of the men's skulls, causing him to fall over.

"No." I released fire towards the other bandits, hitting one in the chest. He recoiled from the impact, but seemed unscathed.

Damnit, magickal resistance.

I drew Dawnbreaker and rushed towards the other while Niruin stayed in the shadows. Another arrow whizzed past me at the bandit with the magickal leather armor, planting itself in his throat. Loot for Niruin, I thought sarcastically. I had realized earlier that allowing Niruin to hoard all the loot was a mistake, as cave-diving and dungeon-delving was how I made my living. That armor alone could have paid for a month at an inn.

The bandit man had his sword drawn, and even though I was already on the offense, he decided he was going to rush me as well. He swung his iron sword at my head, leaving himself completely open. I sidestepped quickly, twirling around him to keep my momentum and let Dawnbreaker take his head off. It thumped to the ground before the rest of his body did. I turned my head and leapt away from the fountain of blood.

Niruin sauntered up, glancing at the headless bandit. "A little tense?" I shook my head. He raised his eyebrows. "I could have taken all three of them with barely a sound, and little blood."

"Alright."

Niruin kept his hooded gaze on me, tilting his head to give him a semi-concerned look. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine. Let's go inside. What's the plan?" I wiped a bit of bandit blood off my cheek. A slight wind picked up, makin the entrance of the cave howl. The moons made the mouth look ominous.

"I go ahead and scout, and come back and tell you how many there are. Then you take care of them."

"Uhhh..." I crossed my arms. "I'm not much for having a partner in things, but couldn't we go in together? You take out any archers or bandits too far away from the reach of my sword?"

"The cave might be too close of quarters to do that. Hence why I go scout."

"Didn't you already do that? Isn't that how you found out there were bandits inside?"

Niruin looked irritated. "It's common knowledge around the cities on where bandit hideouts are located. Especially to us, when they are competition." Niruin crossed his arms, his bow in his right hand. "Are we going to go with my plan, or not?"

"I just don't see what the point of me coming is, if you're so good with that damn bow."

"Obviously," His voice rang with the irritation showing on his face, "I do not have the skills you have. If one were to attack me in close-quarters with a large sword, I would not fare well. I was told you deal especially well in close-ranged combat."

"You did fine pinning me to the wall before I could attack you last night. You seem to hold your own."

"You had not drawn your sword, nor were there five of you. We need to get inside, quickly. The moons make me nervous."

I finally cracked a smile. "Aw, is the widdle vampire scared of werewolves?"

Niruin ignored me and slipped inside the mouth of the cave. I disappeared inside after him.He shot me another irritated look over his shoulder when he realized I was following him. I was confused at his irritation. if we both go in, then if things go wrong, I could take anyone up close while he dealt with those afar.

I took into consideration that if things were close-quarters, I'd be able to handle them. What would Niruin do? Meld into the shadows like a coward while I took everyone? And what if the cave was larger than we anticipated? Would I stand around and wait while-

I bumped into Niruin's back and grunted. There was a sharp intake of breath before he hissed, "This is why I wanted to scout first!" I heard movement down the hall. Niruin gave an angry grunt.

"Since YOU alerted them, YOU deal with them!" He slipped behind me. I drew Dawnbreaker. It came alive with an eery glow, as if it was anticipating a bloodbath. I ignored it and lit fire in my other hand. I had only walked a few steps when I heard a familiar voice.

"Nisse."

I nearly dropped my sword.

"Asta?"

I felt my stomach drop, and my heart nearly thudded out of my chest. A small figure silhouetted the glow of the end of the cave hall. Firelight made her shadow dance on the walls, giving the stone walls a malevolent glow. I felt a prick on the back of my neck, and before the paralysis kicked in, I rammed the heel of my hand into Niruin's nose. I fell, Niruin's screams oddly quiet in comparison to Asta's voice. She kneeled next to my face and whispered in my ear.

"Welcome home, Nisse."

[Colonel Mustard]

Dun dun DUUUUUUUUN!!

Dammit, I knew Niruin couldn't be trusted. And now look what happened; he sold Kayla out to Asta! I do like how Kayla managed to injure Niruin in a manner similar to face-punching even whilst being paralysed in this chapter. She keeps up this streak much longer and I'm going to start calling her Rocky!

Also, this statement worries me slightly:

Alright, y'all, we are drawing to a close to this part of Kayla's life

Specifically, the lack of mention on her unlife drawing to a close worry me; leaves plenty of room for a 'he who fights monsters' style scenario...

[King Coin]

Whew! Glad she got healed and cured. Ma’Dat isn’t around to force a potion down her throat.

Awww… I should have known this temple would have been difficult.

Niruin sniffed the air.
Creepy. This guy is a predator.

I finally cracked a smile. "Aw, is the widdle vampire scared of werewolves?"


"Asta?"
Oh ****!

[Acadian]

Grrr! Darn priest. I’m rather sure that Mara doesn’t mind getting a little blood on her bust. Nevertheless, he did prove helpful and of some comfort.

‘I finally cracked a smile. "Aw, is the widdle vampire scared of werewolves?"’
Like KC, this gave me a laugh!

You did a nice job of having Kayla rationally question Niruin’s plan. Given that her tactical assessment made more sense than his, we were not stunned to learn the cave was a trap and that Niruin would go all traitor when Asta showed up. Malevolent imagery near the end there!

So what did Kayla’s old cat buddy set her up for? I’m not ready to toss him out with the kitty litter yet, but his role is growing more suspect.

[Grits]

Yikes!! Freshly cured and now in the claws of vampires! The prick on the back of the neck with paralysis poison had me rubbing my own neck!

[mALX]

Aw, is the widdle vampire scared of werewolves?"

SPEW!

OMG, what an ending! Holy Crap! Did Niruin set her up? URK !!! GAAAAH !!! Awesome Write!




This post has been edited by mALX: Mar 13 2013, 06:22 AM

[jack cloudy]

Hah, called it. Well, except for the bit about the bandit lair being the trap and home of Asta and friends. Still, I have the feeling that while Kayla is out the orphanage received some new clientele.

Oh, and if Mara-guy doesn't want his shrine to be touched, he should start selling cure disease potions cheap or put the damn thing out of reach. What happened to the cure disease spell anyway?

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Yay, new chapter!! XD

Thanks everyone for sticking Kayla through this. She's going to need your support. I'm tying up some loose ends in this chapter as well as answering some questions.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-








I struggled against my binds, causing the wooden chair to creak with effort. I was in complete darkness in a section of the cave in the back where my captors kept me. Little sounds carried from the large room to my ears in the dark. A phrase here, a clink of silverware there, a harsh laugh.

Here and there, a drop of water falling from great heights into a pool of water startled me. I had been here for what seemed like hours, and exhaustion was kicking in. The ropes were not giving away, and my wrists were raw and bloody from trying. Tiny hands had lifted my paralyzed body easily into the chair, tying my legs, hands, arms, even my chest, to it. The ropes seemed to be enchanted to keep my magick from coming to me.

The only satisfaction I had gotten was seeing a brief glace of Niruin's mangled nose. Before he darted from the cave, he shot me a hatred-filled glance as Asta plopped a very heavy bag of septims into his bloodied hand.

I perked up. Someone was coming. I could make out that it was a child, but notihng more. Then it spoke. Her voice was soft and gentle, but carried easily in the darkness of the cave room.

"Hello."

I blinked at this simple greeting. "Uh, hi?"

"Asta says you are her sister."

"I was her sister, until she decided to kill my husband." I leaned forward slightly, trying to get a better look at her in the dark. I got nothing. "How old are you?"

"I was ten when I was turned six years ago."

"By Asta?"

There was a pause. She giggled. "I forget, mortals can't see in the dark like we can. Yes, by Asta." She took a few steps closer, and I took a deep breath. She leaned in and set her hands on my arms gently.

"You'll like it here. We have plenty to feed on, and we never go hungry. Just do what she says, and you won't get hurt. You'll be the first adult here. All of us were young when turned." Her cool breath wafted the smell of blood against my face. She was close enough to where I could see her fangs.

"Emelia."

Asta's voice cut sharply against the quiet of the cave. Emelia straightened up and quickly turned around.

"Yes, Asta?"

"Go eat. I'd like to spend some time with my sister."

Emelia exited quickly. Asta appeared at my side, startling me. "Nisse..." she said warmly. "I have missed you."

"Untie me, and I can show you how much I've missed you."

"Nisse!" Asta sounded hurt. "After all I've done to bring you here, you treat me like this?" She kicked the leg of the chair, and I let out a startled gasp. Asta gripped my arms, hard enough to make me cry out.

"I have come so close so many times to having you become one of us, you just don't want to turn!" She let go of my arms, and I sighed in relief.

"I don't want to be a vmpire, Asta! Stop trying to turn me!"

Asta was quiet for a moment. I heard the pounding of my heart in my head as I waited to see what she would do. She turned to leave, her hands behind her back.

"That's not up for you to decide," she said quietly.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=


Erik stoked the cooking fires of the inn, the large flame lighting up every corner of the room. His father had gone outside to gather firewood, and Ma'Dat was sipping a tankerd of mead at the bar.

"When will Kayla be back?" Erik asked Ma'Dat. The cat made an odd twitch with his tail. Erik didn't have much experience with Khajiit, and couldn't tell what Ma'Dat was feeling. Kayla always seemed to know what he was thinking, though.

"Nisse will be back in a week or two. The road to Riften is long, and she has to wait for Asta to strike before saving the children." He took another sip of his mead. "This one has the utmost confidence in her abilities." His tail flicked.

"What's wrong?" Erik asked.

Ma'Dat shook his head. "Ma'Dat questions the decision he made to send Nisse to a thief for information. Thieves are easily bought, even those who come from money."

Erik opened his mouth to ask Ma'Dat to explain, but the door flew open, and Mralki stumbled in. "Something attacked me!" he gasped, holding the wound on his neck. Blood seeped through his fingers, droplets dotting the floor. Ma'Dat jumped up and bolted outside while Erik helped his father.

"What was it?" Erik pulled his father's hand away from the wound. A bite mark, shaped like a jagged "O" on Mralki's neck, alarmed Erik.

"Okay, I'm going to go get help. You stay here, alright, father?"

Before Mralki could protest, Erik drew his sword and went outside cautiously. It was utter chaos. The two moons illuminated the scene of children attacking adults with their teeth in a fenzy. Erik heard two familiar screams off to the side.

"Erik!"

"Erik, help me!"

"Britte? Sissel?" He saw the two girls being dragged into the bushes. Their screams stopped almost immediately. Erik ran towards them, but was knocked over. His head hit the ground, causing him to see stars. He heard a snarl and the cold stench of death washed his face. He looked up to see fangs. He gasped, preparing himself for death.


=-=-=-=-=-=


Ma'Dat unsheathed his claws, glancing around, taking in the scene. There were many people being attacked, and the decision on whom to rescue was a difficult one. Lemkil, no. Rorik, yes. Ma'Dat's old muscles came to life as he sprung towards Rorik's attacker, a small Dunmer child wearing form-fitting black armor. He knocked the girl off of Rorik and clawed at her face and armor, causing her to snarl angrily. She grabbed Ma'Dat's throat and squeezed, cutting off his air. Ma'Dat stuck a single claw in the girl's eye. A scream pierced the air the cut into the heads of those around them. Ma'Dat did not see the knife coming, only felt it when it pierced his throat. He fell, gurgling.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


I screamed when Asta bit me on the arm, not drinking my blood, but infecting me. Torches lit the room now, the shadows dancing on her face and the walls.

"I know, it hurts, Nisse, but in a few days, nothing will hurt again." She moved a strand of hair out of my face, my skin wet with a thin sheen of sweat. I gasped, gritting my teeth. I felt very small and weak.

"Asta, stop, please, I'm begging you!"

She bit my exposed shoulder, this time letting her mouth linger on the wound, tasting my blood a little. She had taken my armor off and left me only the barest of clothing. Bites on my stomach, arms, and legs covered me, showing her intent. Infect, not kill. Leave my body weak, and it won't fight the infection as well as it had been.

"Mistress?"

Asta turned sharply at the voice, her black curls bouncing angrily. "What?!"

Emelia wrung her hands. The blonde Imperial girl shot me an apologetic look. Had she not been undead, her skin would have tanned wonderfully in the sun. She had told me her eyes were once bright blue. "What do you want us to do with the sword?"

Asta growled. "That has not been taken care of?"

"No, none of the girls want to go near it. They say it screams at them."

Asta gave a sigh of exasperation. "Wrap it up and throw it off a cliff, I don't care! Just get rid of it!" Emelia ducked out of the room, shooting me another apologetic glance over her shoulder. Asta turned back to me.

"Do you see why I need you, Nisse? I could always count on you." She wiped a droplet of blood from her chin. "The things I've had to do to stay alive and find you..." Her eyes darkened.

"Asta, let me go, and we can find a cure. Please, I'm begging you, don't let me turn!"

"No!" I cringed, the sound of her voice echoing sharply against the cave walls. "This is all that I am, now. I killed our mother and father, I am not fit to be anything else."

"Asta..."

"Just like I am killing your mentor, and your lover as well."

I felt the remaining blood I had turn to ice. A rush of rage suddenly heated me. "What?!"

Asta smiled a half smile, the same one she had learned from me when we were children. Only this one was malicious instead of playful.

"I'm killing anyone who would dare to save you."

"Asta, they're not expecting me back for another two weeks! Why would you do this?"

"Because I can."


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


The scream distracted the small vampire long enough for Erik to elbow it in the face. The force knocked her over, and Erik struggled to keep her pinned. Fireballs whizzed everywhere as Jounne, Rorik's mage friend, incinerated the vampire children. They perished in a shroud of flame, screaming and cursing.

"Kill it!" He hollered at Erik. The child snapped at Erik's hands.

"I can't!"

"You have to! It's you or that vampire!" Jounne rushed to Ma'Dat, feeling his pulse.

Erik wrestled for dominance, trying to grasp his sword.

[King Coin]

The only satisfaction I had gotten was seeing a brief glace of Niruin's mangled nose.
Ha! I hope he has trouble getting that healed right. Damn merc.

Gah. What are they eating?

Does Asta really want to turn her out of some twisted sense of sisterly love, or is this revenge for the dead master vampire?

I did not expect the attack at Rorikstead.Asta is Evil. Erik and Ma'Dat!

[Acadian]

Lingering a bit with Emelia was a fabulous choice, as she provides a starkly effective contrast to Asta.

I also enjoyed how the little vampires were afraid of Duskbuster Dawnbreaker. A neat point to draw attention to.

[Colonel Mustard]

Taking Kayla captive and taking out Rorikstead in order ot just get Ma'Dat and Erik? Ye gods, Asta's good!

I'm wondering if Kayla will get herself out of this mess, and if not, whether Asta may have actually made a bit of a mistake by giving her sworn enemy the strength, speed and supernatural powers of a vampire. Considering that Kayla's bloody-minded and vengeful enough to stand a good chance of resisting any vampiric mind control, that puts her in pretty good odds of fulfilling the whole Nietschian adage of 'he who fights monsters'.

[Grits]

Good call on not saving Lemkil. But the rest of Rorikstead, oh no!

I love that the vampires don’t want to touch Dawnbreaker.

[jack cloudy]

Dawnbreaker scares them? Damn straight it should. Hiss at them, my cute little sword! Hiss and crackle!


I'm going to say that Asta is just a broken person in more ways than one. So turning Kayla could be revenge, sisterly affection, posessiveness and anything else.


And I think that in the attack on Rorikstead all doubts regarding Ma'Dat should have dissolved. Unfortunately, it seems to have come at the price of the old cat's death. I liked him. But go Erik! You can do it! You can become the vampire slayer! You've got the hair for it!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

There is one more chapter to go, y'all, after this one.

A few things I'll touch up on:

Does Asta really want to turn her out of some twisted sense of sisterly love, or is this revenge for the dead master vampire?

Yes. XD

Duskbuster

You know what, Acadian? XD You're a punk sometimes, lol

Taking Kayla captive and taking out Rorikstead in order ot just get Ma'Dat and Erik? Ye gods, Asta's good!

Kayla has been saved by Ma'Dat several times over the course of twenty years. But it goes deeper than that. When Asta was turned, she lost everything. and I mean everything. Her home, family, her innocence. She killed her parents and tried to kill her sister. She became the lover of an ADULT ancient vampire and, to top things off, all of this has affected the way she thinks things through.

She is not all there.

She wants Kayla to have nothing to go back to. No friends, no family, nothing. With her husband dead, and her father figure gone, what does she have left? In Asta's mind, Kayla will submit, because she has no choice. But:

Asta may have actually made a bit of a mistake by giving her sworn enemy the strength, speed and supernatural powers of a vampire. Considering that Kayla's bloody-minded and vengeful enough to stand a good chance of resisting any vampiric mind control, that puts her in pretty good odds of fulfilling the whole Nietschian adage of 'he who fights monsters'.

This.^

I love that the vampires don’t want to touch Dawnbreaker.

Dawnbreaker scares them? Damn straight it should. Hiss at them, my cute little sword! Hiss and crackle!

Dawnbreaker don't like nuttin' not livin'!


This is the second to last chapter in the book. The next chapter will be the last chapter, and from then on, I will be starting another thread for the second book. Of course, I will be going back and editing my posts to correct the errors I had made and were too lazy to correct. I might even switch some words around, and spice up the language a bit. I was getting a headache reading my previous posts, and am amazed that anyone stuck through the terrible wording, spacing, grammar, and just downright shoddy worsmanship.

I'm not awesome, but I'm getting better, and I want to thank everyone that has helped me learn what I need to work on.

Acadian, of course, picking out the nits. Being a nitpicker. XD

Colonel Mustard, you're an awesome author, and the fact that you can stand my writing long enough to not only grasp what I'm writing, but respond to it, encourages me. Thank you.

mALX: Hii! -waves frantically- I know you're having issues right now, and of course, my PM box is always, ALWAYS open for you. Read when you feel like it, no pressure from me.

King of Beasts: Kid, you need to come back. You're missing the story XD

McBadgere: You're always encouraging me, and the little bout where I was having personal issues and being kinda...sucky... well, I appreciate your words. Thank you.

King Coin: PBBBTH.

Just kidding!! You're my buddy too! Thanks for listening to me whine about when I was stuck or scared the chapter wasn't going to be liked. You're a champ!!

Aaaaaand to someone who ISN'T reading my story: Uleni. For giving me a great tactic for word-building earlier today. I tried it and I could feel my brain stretching. I don't words good, but you words good. I wanna words good too. XD

Don't pay any attention to me. I'm getting sappy.

Anyways, enough with the girly girly crap. ON with the story!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Emelia soothed me as I shivered. Cold sweat covered my fevered body. I was too weak to move, so Asta had me moved into my own bed where she set up guards. Emelia stayed with me, whether it was her shift or not.

"Shh, shh," she murmured. "I know, it's awful, but it will pass. Then you'll be better." I groaned and clutched the sheets.

"Water," I gasped. "Thirsty!"

"Water won't help, trust me."

"Please!"

"You will just vomit it up, love."

Tears streamed from my eyes as I begged for something to drink. I felt a cool hand on my forehead, and heard another voice.

"How is she?" Asta.

"Still feverish, but she's almost there. She should be fully infected in a few hours. I've never seen anyone take so long to become infected."

"She has been infected so many times over the past twenty years that she has built up a resistance to it."

"That is...odd." The confusion in Emelia's voice was clear. "Usually when one is infected more often, the disease weakens the immune system, causing the infection to spread faster." After a moment, she spoke again.

"What is out next step?"

Asta paused for a moment, taking her hand from my head. "Akrya has not reported back, and neither has the group that went with her. I suspect they have been killed. If that is the case, then this sanctuary might be in danger."

Asta leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I have a present for you, Nisse. A Breton girl. She is brimming with magick. Magick users taste the best." I grimaced. I heard the smile in her voice. "Your fangs are coming in. Soon, Nisse."

"Meridia, please save me!"

"She won't."


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


My eyes popped open. I saw Emelia next to me, smiling. Her straight blonde hair was washed out by her pale complexion.

"Good morning, sunshine. Don't get up yet, you're still weak."

I plopped back down, swallowing several times. "I need water. I'm so thirsty." I licked my lips. When my teeth rested on my tongue, I gasped in horror. I wailed, stumbling out of the bed.

"Asta! I'll kill you!" Barefoot, down the cave corridor, I limped weakly and fell to the ground at the end of it. Asta was kneeling next to a young girl propped up on the cave wall, barely in her twenties. The girl was screeching in pain, her face red.

Asta stood up and smiled, her fangs out. "Finally," she cooed. She easily dodged my swings and sidestepped my attempts to grab her. "Once we get some blood in you, you'll be faster. And more compliant." I wheezed, my head swiveling to the young girl. My attention was immediately turned to her. I sniffed the air.

"Go ahead," Asta's childish voice was smooth and lower than her normal pitch. "She won't fight back. She's an easy kill."

I heard the girl's blood pumping rapidly with pain and fear. Fear. I could smell it on her, wafting to my nose, tinging her blood-

"No!" I looked away.

"You want to. You need to. I know it hurts, Nisse. That hunger, that thirst. That girl can take it all away."

Saliva filled my mouth. I desperately wanted to drink something. I swallowed. I glanced around and saw no water, no other liquid besides the one in the girl's veins. I turned back to her, resting my hands on my knees.

"I... I can't."

"Yes you can!" Asta's eyes seemed to become redder with rage. "If you don't, I will MAKE you!"

The girl had passed out, her light brown hair matted against her head with sweat. Her arms and legs were bent at odd angles.

"Did you break her arms and legs?!"

"Yes."

"Asta, heal her!"

"No."

"Then let me make a potion!"

"NO!" Asta's voice echoed off the cave walls. A few pebbles fell, the sound traveling awkwardly. Emelia peeked her head out of the cave corridor. A few other vampire children, all girls, began to gather around Asta. Her fists trembled at her sides. She grabbed my arm, throwing me down on top of the girl. The girl's eyes bulged open as I landed on her legs. She went whiter before she passed out from the pain.

"Drink her!" Asta demanded. I shook my head, clamping my mouth shut. Asta grabbed the hair on the back of my head and rammed my face into the girl's neck.

"DRINK!"

I struggled to get away, but Asta's grip was too strong. The sweat and fear on the girl's skin sang to me, her blood humming in her veins. I opened my mouth and bit. Asta's fingers untangled themselves from my hair as I whimpered, drinking in the girl's life. She never woke up, not even when I bit deeper, tearing at the vein for more. The blood was sweet on my tongue, filling me with warmth and caressing my skin from inside. I pulled away, panting, my eyes filling with tears.

All of it. I drank all of it.

"Do you want more?" Asta gently asked. "I brought another, just in case."

"What have you DONE to me?!" I sobbed. I clutched my stomach, disgusted with myself. I DID want more. "I c-can't... I'm sorry!" My high-pitched wails were never received by the dead girl's ears. "I'm so sorry! I take it back!" I pulled the girl's already cooling body to me, hugging it. Her head lolled onto my shoulder, her light brown hair brushing against my face.

My senses picked up something was about to go wrong, worse than what I just did. As I sobbed, clutching the girl and begging her to come back, I heard the almost silent shuffle of feet. Asta's fist struck my cheek, knocking me off the girl. Another blow hit me on the thigh, bouncing off almost uselessly. I blocked her next blow, and she pulled a dagger from her belt.

"Why are you resisting?" She screamed. I jumped up, stronger with the girl's blood. Calling fire into my hands, I threw two handfuls at Asta.

"I don't WANT to be a vampire, Asta!" Asta leapt nimbly from my flares, then charged me. The other vampiric children watched us dumbly. Asta snarled, an almost feral growl rumbling from her chest. I realized I could feel the same vibrations in my own.

"Why not, Nisse?" She charged, keeping her dagger low. I crouched automatically into a defensive stance before knocking her hand out of the way and kneeing her in the mouth. Her fangs pierced the skin, and I cried out. Asta reeled, spitting out my blood. She panted.

"Why not?!" She demanded again. I gripped the wound on my knee.

"I don't want cause pain, I want to heal it. How can I do that if my very presence demands chaos?" I growled. "I'm going to find a cure, Asta. But not before I kill you for this." Before I could lunge, an arrow dug into my thigh. I screamed, my leg becoming numb almost immediately. I struggled to regain control of my body, but the poison seeped into my limbs at an alarming rate.

"Luckily your paranoia has become of some use to us," Asta straightened up. "We found this potion in your pack when we captured you. We could have used you, Nisse. Not many poisons affect vampires." She signaled the girls to leave. I fell on the cave floor, hard.

I saw Emelia shoot me one of her apologetic looks before heading up the cave entrance. Asta shook her head in disgust. The other girls never gave me a passing glance, and it occurred to me that there were more than I initially thought. Before, there were fifteen. I saw over thirty vampiric girls filing out of the cave. Each had similar bags of what I figured were their belongings, what little they might have.

When the last ones were out, Asta called down the corridor to me. "You'll find the Breton girl in the other room. Have fun." I heard a grating sound, and the efforts of the girls. The air from outside grew still.

I'm trapped!

[Uleni Athram]

Oh don't worry, Lizzie. Like everyone else knows (probably), I'm a creepy lurker. Ylu may not know this, but I'm following you guys' stories. So yeah.... hihihihihihihi...

And glad my tactic worked out for you! Always get that warm mushy feeling when I help people and I love it! Ha!

[Colonel Mustard]

Thank you, thank you, I know I am awesome

Seriously though, humility is a good thing to see in any writer/artist, from the bad to best, but I think you're doing yourself a bit of a disservice here, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is one of the best things I've read on these forums.

This chapter was excellently done, and Kayla's self-loathing after giving in to inevitable urge to feed was well-handled, and it was made even better by the contrast provided by Asta's sheer glee at that turn of events. I'm interested that Emelia seems to be another reluctant convert like Kayla is; there a potential ally in her, I wonder?

She easily dodged my swings and sidestepped my attempts to grab her.

Undead or living, it appears that there are some things about Kayla that will never change. (It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, risin' up to the challenge of your rivaaaals!)

This post has been edited by Colonel Mustard: Mar 19 2013, 03:56 PM

[mALX]

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The whole scene of Kayla prisoner to Asta was absolutely totally 100% AWESOME !!!!!!! HUGE Write !!!!

This force of children attacking like banshees as a group is scary as hell! What a movie that would make! Holy Cow what imagery you have done with this chapter! I am in love with this story!

Next:

Oh crap! Kayla has fangs! Urk !!! GAAAAAAH! Kayla killed the girl !!!! URK !!!! Holy Crap what a chapter! You have just stepped into the realm of Anne Rice with this one, and Kayla noticing how many girls there were as they filed out - chilling! Awesome Write, Holy Crap!


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[jack cloudy]

Oh dear. He who hunts monsters and all that. Ok, so it is the monster's fault instead of a slippery moral slope (not that Kayla wasn't descending down it already, mind.)


The feelings here were very powerful. I also liked how Kayla actually managed to hurt Asta after feeding. Shows the vampirism at work. But now Kayla is trapped? How will she free herself? (I'm guessing she can't just wait three days) Will she succumb to the bloodlust? I must know!