Niran Options

[jonajosa]

[quote=Dantrag]
Don't write yourself into a corner. If you don't plan a little bit, you might end up doing it. (I know from experience...it sucks.)[/quote]

That is somthing nobody ever learns the easy way... trust me. I was warned over and over by some frineds who also write and guess what? I did it anyway and i found myself just sitting at the comp pondering what i could do to get my character out of the mees he was in. Listen to Dantrag.

[gamer10]

[quote=jonajosa]
That is somthing nobody ever learns the easy way... trust me. I was warned over and over by some frineds who also write and guess what? I did it anyway and i found myself just sitting at the comp pondering what i could do to get my character out of the mees he was in. Listen to Dantrag.[/quote]

I'll be wary of your advice from now on . . . .

mees???

[Konji]

I'm sure it is briliant writing gamer! Keep it up. :goodjob:

[Mazuk]

Yes me to thanks for the advice...is an amateur you know and can't spell..lol.

[jonajosa]

"mess" if you don't understand Jonajosa language.

[Konji]

You can't spell lol?

[gamer10]

[quote=jonajosa]"mess" if you don't understand Jonajosa language. [/quote]

I'm currently taking classes.

"Mees have to go to the bathroom teacher!"

"Excuse me gamer10, what did you say?"

[jonajosa]

Lets put it this way. My dead grandmother types faster than most people. I learned form her. So when im typing at a bigilzzion mph. then i tend to make mistakes. :eek:

[Konji]

? Is that a joke?

[jonajosa]

The smiley at the end should give it away. But i do type fast. Plus i don't really care about my spelling when im just chatting like i am now.

[Mazuk]

It happens alot to me when I am typeing faster than I am thinking. Brain can't keep up to my fingers.

[gamer10]

[quote=Mazuk]It happens alot to me when I am typeing faster than I am thinking. Brain can't keep up to my fingers. [/quote]

Actually I dont think that its possible to do something without your brain sending a signal to the part of your body that is commiting the action.

[Mazuk]

Sure it is. Just the signal doesn't move fast enough. My fingers type faster then the signal moves. Its all logic. I think.

EDIT: looks down and laughs.

[gamer10]

[quote=Mazuk]Sure it is. Just the signal doesn't move fast enough. My fingers type faster then the signal moves. Its all logic. I think.[/quote]

Yes, I'll be back . .

zooms off to look up the "brain" in the encyclopedia.

[gamer10]

Note- Yay! I'm on a writing spree!

Chapter 4

When morning came, I was well rested. I stretched, and noticed the cut on my arm was healing well. Strange, I had not used a healing potion on it, or a spell, but the knowledge of such things would be very useful. So I planned to learn such skills as soon as possible.
My hunger was making me very uncomfortable, and I was growing weaker instead of stronger although I had rested. So I started to look around for something to eat. I noticed some of the small animals from the night before, and I snuck upon one with my small sword raised. Then I slammed it down, killing the creature with one swift strike.I was glad I had food, but upset over the fact that I would have to eat it raw. Never before had I done so. So my first bite wasn't very impressive, just a little nibble. Over the period of time which I ate this, it begin to taste much better. By the time I finished I had actually grown to like it.

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I knelt beside my sisters body and saw the stab wounds in her side, the assasination was poorly executed and she must have died slowly, she might not yet have died when I was knocking for the first time on the door. This was completely my fault, I should not have told the man who had leant me money for my weapon. Now my sister has payed for it.
I dragged myself over to a dxark corner of the room and cried like a little child.

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After finishing the "meal" I looked for a source of water but found none. That is, until I stepped in a muddy puddle, but it was so dirty that even I in my desperate state, would not drink from it.
So, I went without water, and my mouth became terribly dry, but I put up with it. I had no choice.
I walked further north, at least I thought I did. Occasionaly stopping to rest, but I would sometimes rest too much and would have to quicken my pace. I did not stop for any other meal.
Always looking straight ahead, I could see that the forest would end soon.

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For a long time I had cried, and eventually I reported the deaths to a few guards at the nearest fort. They did not act sympathetic, for they knew I was the one who had killed several of their friends. After they took them away I went to the back room, and slept. For a long time I stayed in bed, most of the time I spent talking to myself. Until the next day. When I received a knock on my door.

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I came upon the end of the forest with a confident step and a sigh of relief. As I stepped out, I was taken aback by the buildings in front of me.
I had finally found refuge.

Note: One more chapter to go. It's only supposed to prelude the RP a Mystery Unleashed, and tell you a little of his past. Like how he became emotionally disturbed.

[gamer10]

Chapter 5

I walked up to the tallest building I could see, it looked like an Inn but I couldn't be sure. I entered cautiously and looked around, and something caught my eyes. A stuningly beautiful young Altmer. Not wanting to seem rude I quickly looked away before she noticed I was staring. I sat down at a table and listened to her talk. Not only her, but a whole gathering of people seemed to be at this inn. They all seemed friendly enough, though some of them seemed dangerous enough as well.
I had the innkeep bring me a drink as I listened to their conversation, it seemed strange. Yet, as I thought about it, my whole life would seem strange had I spoken about it.

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I got out of bed to answer the knock on my door, it was late and I didnt know who would be visiting. Had the news of my sister's and mother's deaths traveled so fast?
When I opened the door I was grabbed by the shoulder and dragged outside, the next thing I felt was a boot in my stomach. I attempted to yell out for help, but something was stuffed in my mouth. I was next pulled by the hair and dragged back into my house. Where many painful experiences followed. I was a target of the imperial legion.

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I realized halfway through my drink that I had no money to give the innkeeper for it. I would have to ask for money, hoping those people would be kind enough to help me.

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I had very little recollection of my beating but when I came too, I was in much pain. My face had been bloodied and my body was riddled with bruises. That's when I heard another knock at my door and I froze. My mind filled with frightening thoughts.

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Walking nervously up to the group of what looked like adventurers, I asked as confidently as I could:

"Excuse me if I'm interupting, but I could use some assistance."

A woman turned and said:

"Go ahead young man."

Replying I said:

"Well it's sort of a complicated story but in short, can I borrow some spare coins? I do not have much to offer in return and my business is secret."

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I made sure I found some kind of weapon before answering, in this case a wooden plank. Opening the door, I saw two Imperial Legion Guards standing there. Scared, I stepped back.

But one spoke out:

"Stay where you are, I have a warrant for your arrest."

He paused and said sternly:

"In the name of the Imperial Legion and the Emperor, I place you under arrest for the murder of an Imperial officer."

And they grabbed me by my arms. Pushing me out into the street and down the road.

NOT QUITE THE END
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Note: So there is part of his horrible past, it was the worst part so I told it to you. Hope you enjoyed the story of Niran Cular.

-Gamer10

[MerGirl]

Pretty good. :goodjob: The only piece of advice I would give you is to be sure to avoid long run-on sentences.

I really like your story, but some of your sentences seem to wear me out because they were so long. It would be less of a hassle (for me, anyway) if you could put a period somewhere and split some of your sentences up. I really enjoy your action scenes, but you put too much action into one sentence, and it makes me kind of... er, exhausted by the time I get to the period/end of sentence.

Please, don't take offense to this! :embarrassed2: I'm trying to give a little bit of constructive criticism.

Besides that, I really enjoyed reading your character's history and his story.

[gamer10]

*reads Mergirls post*

Thanks for the advice. I'll be sure to revise it for repost once the new forums are working again. I dont think that this is going to be carried over automatically when we switch back.

No offence taken.

[MerGirl]

[quote=gamer10]

No offence taken.[/quote]

Whew! :ashamed: I thought I was going to get yelled at for the criticism (some writers do, ya know). But, I'm glad you're not angry, and I hope you continue! :goodjob: Pweeeeese?

(Ooh, speaking of which, after reading your story, I am feeling motivated to write a story about Celia's visits to Morrowind. Think of the poor Telvanni bug-Dunmer hybrid peoples! )

[gamer10]

I'm willing to help in any way I can. So just PM if you want help.



-Gamer10

P.S. I might continue, but it'll be on what his thoughts are of the group he is traveling with right now in RP.

(I like constructive criticism, it helps a lot.)

EDIT: The only time I'll ever get angry is through my character in the RP, or if you call my fanfic Kwama crap.