MerGirl's draft Options

[MerGirl]

Yes, I will post my rough draft very soon. Probably sometime this week or by next Wednesday, when homework is not so demanding. Thank you for lore suggestions and such. I will try to post at least part of Chp. 1 later today, but do not expect great writing. I am awful at grammar, so my drafts may need lots of work, but I love to write.

I'll edit this post when the Chp. 1 draft is almost finished, 'kay?
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EDIT: Little bit of Chp. 1. May need some serious editing. Oh, I would just like an opinion on whether or not this beginning is good to begin the plot of the story and any suggestions would be appreciated. I'll post little by little whenever I can.

Chp. 1
The Bosmer mother rocked her baby roughly whenever it gurgled, becoming more light-headed and giddy. The baby started to cry, for he was hungry, and it was nearly feeding time. However, the Bosmer mother was becoming too drunk to notice, hiccuping and constantly swaying in her seat, blue eyes glazed and her hair unkempt.

She slouched a little in her seat, trying to take in her surroundings. Trying was a lot harder to do with blurry, hazy vision. It was nighttime, and the tavern was crowded and loud. There were all sorts of noises and conversations, low, shushed gossip, shouting, cheering, and drunken talk. People were moving and dancing, or slumped in their seats, sleeping off their hangovers. The nude dancing girls were one of the top main entertainment showings, receiving much comments and approval. (Marigold shouted out her approval as well.) People were drinking, eating, sleeping, or playing darts, while others went upstairs to the bedrooms for other kinds of “entertainment”.

Apparently, the young man sharing the table with the Bosmer girl was interested as well. He moved his chair close to her, and whispered a few lucid suggestions into her ear. Some of these suggestions included a bedroom and leaving the baby behind.

The Bosmer girl did not reply, but giggled instead. She leaned her head back and was about to chug down a bottle of brandy when a male hand roughly snatched it out of her hands. Annoyed, the Bosmer turned her head towards the bottle-snatcher, scowling darkly. Her eyes could not figure clearly, but she could tell that he was a tall Dunmer. “Gif me back my bwandy,” she slurred.

The Dunmer shook his head, his face full of disappointment. “Marigold, here you are, topless and drunk, and offering 'entertainment' ", the Dunmer glared at the young man, who creeped away, “when you are already married—“

“Was married, Dalos!” The Bosmer girl retorted, now more awake and more alert. “He’s dead, dead, dead, dead, dead!” Her voice rose to a shout on the last word, her fist slammed onto the table. “Stupid, stupid, stupid Khajiit! I hate ‘em all!” The baby sobbed a bit, which spurred Dalos to put away the brandy and to take the baby from the drunk Bosmer.

“Marigold!” The Dunmer chided. He leaned towards her whispering, “There’s Khajiit here, and might I also remind you, this tavern is also run by a Khajiit…”

The Bosmer started giggling again. “Especially that rich one I stole from.” Being a loyal member from the Thieves Guild, Marigold enjoyed stealing from others, no matter how rich or poor they are. “That swit deserved it for stealing something of mine.” She chuckled again, despite her Dunmer friend’s concerned expression. She said in a low voice. “I stole some very valuable artifacts from her husband’s chest, and then replaced the artifacts with rocks… The expression on his face…priceless!”

The Dunmer held the baby closely and said sternly, “Didn’t the Thieves Guild teach you not to announce your accomplishments, especially in public places!” Dalos was a secretive type probably because of his occupation as a Morag Tong assassin. “You never know who’s listening!”

“I don’t care!”

“Well, as a friend, I do!” He grabbed her hand not so gently and pulled her up over his shoulder.

The Bosmer’s temper flared. “Put me down! Put. Me. DOWN!” Dalos ignored her, and asked the barkeeper for a room. Some men jeered or winked, obviously thinking of some other suggestive reason why a Dunmer man with a pretty and top-less Bosmer girl draped over his shoulder would request for a bed…

The next morning, Marigold stretched and sat up in bed, sore and grouchy. She glanced at Dalos, who’s peacefully sleeping at the edge of the bed next to her. She traced the line of his delicate cheek and glanced at his muscles, jealous of his strength and beauty. She smiled, grateful for a friend like him. Placing both feet against his half-naked body, she kicked him hard. He fell limply against the floor, but a moment later, he jumped to his feet, instantly awake and a bit miffed.

Marigold smiled sweetly. “Good morning!”

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Okay, that should be only one part of the first chapter, currently writing the second part which should be very important to the plot. Remember, I am not good with grammar, so if you notice any grammar mistakes, please tell me.