Script Writing Advice, writing a script! Options

[niceguy]

Hey everyone, well I just got into writing scripts! And I have to say it's a lot diffrent than writing a story I've read scripts from my favourite movies and sutdied them and I read a tutorial on "Script writing" by the BBC but anyways here's a part of the draft I'm writing.

FADE IN:

INT. CLASSROOM - WIDE - DAY

Jonas sprints through the hallway, his shoes squeak as he heeds to a stop. Jonas bursts through a door into an empty room.

JONAS
(Looking about the room
nervously)
Is…class over?

A man in a two piece suit turns around from a chalkboard in the back of the room; he adjusts his glasses and looks at the teenage boy.

TEACHER
(Turing back to the chalkboard, scribbling
some mathematic equations)
Yes, yes it is Mr. Lee

He shakes the chalk off his hands and walks toward Jonas

TEACHER (cont’d)
This is the fourth time this week, Jonas.

CUT TO:

INT. PRINCIPAL”S OFFICE – DAY

Jonas sits in a chair, in the waiting room outside of the principal’s office. He twiddles with his fingers nervously, scratches his shaggy hair, begins to break a sweat.

A buzzer goes off.

SECRETARY
Mr. Johnson would like to
see you now.

Jonas gets up, takes a deep breath and slowly opens the door; awaiting his doom.



Now if anyone is familiar in writing scripts, did I do anything wrong; advice? Thanks

This post has been edited by niceguy: Jul 11 2005, 04:03 AM

[Kiln]

I'm pretty familiar with scripting in some points. Is this going to be made into a play or something by you? BTW I didn't see any errors, but I just skimmed over it.

[niceguy]

I'm pretty familiar with scripting in some points.  Is this going to be made into a play or something by you?  BTW I didn't see any errors, but I just skimmed over it.

Not a play but maybe a short film

[Red]

Will it be action packed with needless oneliners and zombies?

[niceguy]

Will it be action packed with needless oneliners and zombies?

Of course, of course Well I guess there's nothing wrong with that little bit? Now I'm off to write all of it