High School Never Ends, Daria fanfic Options

[SubRosa]

Great, we get to visit the Kevster on his home field. I really don't remember his parents at all from the TV show. I vaguely remember Britney's though.

So, off the cafeteria it is then!

Barry Sanders in the Thompson shrine to football! Detroit Baby!

Yes Kevin, please remember the safety rules in Wood Shop. Oh boy.

The Townsend Acts. Those are the movies that Robert Townsend acted in right?

Oh, who is this? Ope, given the first thing out of his mouth, that has got to be Dad. Great way to introduce yourself.

Sigh, Daria has a Sisyphean task ahead of her.

[Renee]

Yeah, Risky Business is a great movie. A lot of movies from that time period are just classic. I could see Tom Cruise in Kevin's role. I was picturing someone else though, some really lunky looking actor. Like, the sort of person who really looks like he'd only be good at football. But he winds up working at Home Depot or something, because he's good at sports, but not that good. 🏈

Okay, yeah, here is Kevin. He's actually got hair! A lot of hair. I was picturing some guy without much hair. Anyway, Kevin looks more like a quarterback, like he's fast and agile. I was thinking more of a fullback. So yeah, Tom Cruise would work!

I didn't actually watch a ton of MTV. Was a bit of a snob as a teenager and figured it was all stuff for the "normies".

You're talking about MTV in maybe the latter '90s into 2000 though? It was different when it was new.

Okay, so Patricia does not have a Morrowind twin, got it. Oh gosh, so Kevin's dad is a dolt too, and Daria's not looking forward to being around him, if dad is around. Yeah, I can see getting apprehensive. The apple never falls too far from the tree, as the saying goes. 🍎

"Hey, Daria. Thanks for coming by," he said, as enthusiastic as ever.

"Sure. You have the money, right?"

She gets right to the point! .... Okay, so he's only getting an hour, ONE hour. Let's see how far that hour takes him. Can Daria perform a miracle, basically?

She emphasized "dining room" the way she would to a child just learning how to speak.

Oh my gosh!

wow, look at this room. So it's a cafeteria that's supposed to be a dining room but it looks like a sports den. Damn. Altogether, more of a man cave than a place to eat. But there's a mom too, right? Wonder if she's got her own space.

Remodeling / Remedial / Remedialing... You're killing me, Clav!

I can be kind of a brain too, now that I'm usually free on Friday nights.

Damn!!! Holy [censored]!

Anyway, see, this is what I was thinking. She's gonna need a lot of money to make him go from just failing to a C-student.

Yeah, dad is ... interesting. He's definitely the tree. More than that, though, more like he's pushing this kid totally into the sports direction. But what if he doesn't make it in sports? See, not very wise. And he insulted Daria for her looks, alone. I'm thinking he's the D-word, but let's continue further...

Yeah, Daria, that was a great game," Kevin said. "You saw that one, right? That's where I ran up to this guy who was like, twice as big as me—and I'm pretty big—and still knocked him down. You have that one taped, right dad? Daria, do you want to watch it?"

OMG poor Daria! You'd better call 911, WellTemperedClavier, I'm havin' the big one over here!

Yeah, interference! That's a football term! So Daria DOES know football!

This post has been edited by Renee: Feb 29 2024, 04:20 PM

[Acadian]

“Let’s go to the cafeteria.”

‘Sheer scale of this project’ is right!

An interfering counterproductive father doesn’t help.

I think Daria is right that if she’s going to make any progress with Kevin, she needs to get him away from his dad and the Gridiron Temple while trying to teach him. If anyone can move Kevin along though I bet it’s Daria though.

[WellTemperedClavier]

Removed

This post has been edited by WellTemperedClavier: Nov 13 2024, 07:44 AM

[Acadian]

Wow, Daria really does have her work cut out for her. Kevin’s lack of brightness is quite aggravated by his tiny attention span. I don’t know if Daria will figure out what it might take to teach him something – or if that is even possible. It’s kinda funny but also makes you feel sorry for the lad as well.

[SubRosa]

That is right. Kevin did watch TV while Daria built the maze.

Oh boy. No football, just Tories.

Well, we can only hope that the threat of the girly-girlness on pink steroids that lies in wait in Quinn's room is enough to get Kevin to focus on the revolting Americans. I mean the American revolution...

Edit: I forgot to mention. The Lions have a historically bad football team. They have never been in a Superbowl, let alone won one. I think the last time they had a championship team was in the '50s. They have a habit of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. I was stunned to learn that this year they not only made the playoffs, but got to the final round, just before the Superbowl. As far as I know, they have literally never done that. The last time they were in the playoffs was back in the 90s, and they only got about two games in before being eliminated.

Barry Sanders was a running back after that period, when they never even made the playoffs. The team was absolutely awful. But he was absolutely amazing. He's one of the best running backs to ever play. Here is an example. I felt sorry for him, because he deserved so much better than being stuck on the Lions.

[Renee]

Interesting that there's 'fan debate' about what position Kevin would play. To me he looks rather slim, and therefore agile. I think Kevin could be 'smart' about sports in the same way city-dwellers sometimes have what is called street smarts. He'll never get anywhere near the stage for a Quiz Bowl match, but he's smart in the sense that he's got that instinct for good sportsmanship. As you've noted, as well.

Lol I'm already laughing! Kevin's already looking at their TV. It's like he's completely forgotten why he's here.

Wow, Daria loses her temper. Indeed, the footballer only knows discipline when someone's yelling at him. I bet his dad has done plenty of that as well.

Kevin's smile faded, and his eyes roved around the kitchen as if he hoped to find a refrigerator magnet with the answer.

Ah geez! I know this is just a fictional story, but I actually feel bad for the guy! And for Daria as well, in a way. Like, she probably has other things she'd rather be doing, pretty much any other activity. She is on Spring Break after all, right?

Lisa Frank! That's the name of the gal I knew in college. Off-topic, but I became friends with a witch (she studied witchcraft) but only toward the end of one of our semesters. 🧙‍♀️ She claimed she put a curse on some bullies in high school, and all 3 of them came down with mono. Next semester, she did not return to campus (college, that is). I never saw Lisa Frank again.

I love the end. "Study Kevin, study!" Like he's goading himself as though he's in a team huddle.

This post has been edited by Renee: Mar 4 2024, 07:27 PM

[WellTemperedClavier]

Removed

This post has been edited by WellTemperedClavier: Nov 13 2024, 07:44 AM

[Renee]

Okay, I see. She's home for the whole semester. That makes more sense; this way she's got more time to get this Kevin debacle at least partially solved. Speaking of...

Yes I remember Lisa Frank merchandise. Probably had a LF book binder or some stationary back in High School myself. That is why meeting somebody named Lisa Frank (who was quite an interesting student, as described...) in real-life struck me during 2nd year of college! -

Cool. This chapter's longer than the others so far.

She zoned out on the couch, not even needing the assistance of television. Sunlight made its slow retreat to dusk and then turned to night. The day's annoyances faded away as she let her mind go from one vague memory to another, all the more welcome for their distance from her present state.

I love this this part. Also, The conversation between the sisters is like some of those between myself & my real-life sister. We'd just snap at each other sometimes, even just seeing each other was enough to make us annoyed sometimes.

Am realizing just now that the Daria of Morrowind found herself in the same predicament as the HCNE version. In both stories, she's getting goaded into getting a job. Well hey, at least the High School Never Ends version isn't going to need risking her life, delving into some underground ruins populated by operational automatons. 🤖

Ah, very nice. She's advertizing her services. Yeah, because maybe she might find someone who isn't as rock-bottom as Kevin, who can be successfully tutored for less effort. . Word of mouth will spread, if so.

It's Demartino! Oh my gosh! ""I'm still damned to teach the ENTITLED IMBECILES that infest this SCHOOL..." Ha ha ha!!!

This post has been edited by Renee: Mar 8 2024, 11:27 PM

[Acadian]

Despite trying to appease herself with the mantra of ‘$20/hour’, Daria really is wrestling with how to actually teach Kevin – good for her and hopefully she figures out how to successfully tilt at this windmill.

Good to see DeMartino, even though he wasn’t of any help regarding Kevin.

It will be interesting to see how much interest the tutoring ad draws.

[SubRosa]

The NFL Draft is what got Sanders stuck with the Lions. The way it works is that when players leave college and go to the NFL, they are all entered into the draft. The team with the worst record gets the first pick, and so on. The idea is to help even things out over time, so bad teams can get good players and they aren't bad forever. The Lions got Sanders in the draft because they are awful and had an early pick.

I am not sure about after his first contract was up. He probably could have left then. Maybe the Lions just made him a good offer to stay. I do know Sanders quit when he was relatively young, and it surprised everyone. So it seems that perhaps football was not his entire life, and maybe being super famous was never his goal? Or maybe he just wanted to get out while he was still healthy and could enjoy the money he made? I don't know.

I always hated math. It's just, so damn boring. But I was decent at it, so I could explain most of it to my classmates when they had trouble.

Oops, I am thinking you got your italics tags wrong for [/i]The Decameron

It's Mr. DeMARTINo! He was always one of my favorite characters on the show.

Maybe Daria needs to dress up her lessons in football terms? Sort of like how Mr. Hand eventually got through to Kevin Spicolli at the end of Fast Times At Ridgemont High?

[WellTemperedClavier]

Removed

This post has been edited by WellTemperedClavier: Nov 13 2024, 07:44 AM

[Acadian]

Wow, Daria is really prickly in this episode – even moreso than normal. We know that snark and negativism are a part of her makeup but here, she seems to be going out of her way in weaponizing her wit to insult her roomie who is sort of trying to be her friend. That, combined with what seems to be more physical lethargy than normal for Daria, makes me wonder what is going on with her.

[SubRosa]

So record scratch, and fade to sepia tone, as today's episode takes place before the main story.

Ah winter in Boston. Reminds me of so many episodes of the old Spenser For Hire TV show with Robert Urich and Avery Brooks.

Coincidentally enough, also where Blood Raven moved to and reinvented herself as Corvus. So Daria ought to keep her eyes peeled for corvid-themed superheroes. Especially if she spends any time in the North End.

Patricia seems nice.

Acadian is right, Daria seems downright grouchy. I know being the snarky, edgy teen is her shtick, but she's going a little overboard with the misanthropy. Which is saying a lot from a misanthrope like myself.

I am wondering if this is an external reaction to perhaps internal feelings of angst and insecurity? As Patricia so eloquently put it, they are adults now. They have to enter the real world. There is no going back to the comfort of just hanging out in her room with Jane and watching Sick Sad World forever. That is a daunting prospect.

[Renee]

Morrowind!Daria would say "Hey, at least you don't have to fall back on half-remembered sword lessons taught by your father, as you find yourself trekking miles away from home, attacked by nix hounds and kagouti!" Morrowind!Daria would say: "At least if you meet somebody cute or interesting, you can just go on a stupid date. You don't have to say goodbye to him as he flies away on his gigantic beetle." Morrowind!Daria would say: "At least if you want to take a shower you can do exactly that. Take a shower. You don't have to share bathwater with your family, and then get all covered in ash after the bath's over if the volcano decides to start spewing..."

Aw, she's eating stale crackers.

Patricia. That's her roomie, right? See, there's also a Patricia in Stormcrow! Patricia Fine, that is.

So 'first semester's almost done'. Which means Daria really has NO rapport with her roomie at all! This sounds like the first time they've hung out all semester!

You looked kind of lonesome

Aw. Patty's trying, at least. Wow, look at this. At first I was with Daria: like, what is Patty's game, here? What is she trying to get from Daria? But it does indeed seem as though she's being earnest. C'mon, lighten up Daria!

What a depressing episode!

This post has been edited by Renee: Mar 19 2024, 12:34 AM

[WellTemperedClavier]

Removed

This post has been edited by WellTemperedClavier: Nov 13 2024, 07:44 AM

[Acadian]

Bless her heart but Daria is really trying to help Kevin. She justifies it as a challenge and financially rewarding but I think much of that is just what she tells herself. That said, approaching it as a puzzle or challenge is wise and she seems to be making a bit of progress. Not much, but a bit.

I shudder to think of the essay Kevin might write if turned loose at this point – ‘George Washington was quarterback for the Americans. . . .’ Perhaps twice a week is a good idea.

[SubRosa]

Oh, its Joey from the three musketeers. For the life of me I cannot remember which one that actually was. The all kind of blur together for me. Which is probably how Quinn feels too.

Joey is dating someone else? Good for him!

Ok, so Daria is focusing herself on solving the problem that is Kevin. Well, buckle in, I bet this will be some ride!

Daria breaks Kevin's attempted tackle with his parents not denying him things, by spinning off and breaking free into the secondary with the coach being strict. Barry Sanders would have been proud!

That's right Daria, it was not Parliament never taxed anyone. They already had the funk.

Kevin is George Washington!

Honestly, this is going really well. Better than I would have expected. All jokes aside, Daria definitely used the right strategy here.

[Renee]

Time to return to high school. For some folks it never ends. Two new clients. Wonder if either of them have more smarts than Kevin. I mean... they gotta! I can't imagine someone could be any dumber than that jock.

Hmm, Joey wants to go on a date ... with Quinn? So this is like that guy in Outlanders who kept following Morrowind!Quinn around. Actually there were more than one guy, but the ONE guy (Jeval?) really kept after her all through the episodes.

Sheesh! I'm gonna try not to laugh like normally. No emoticons this week. Well, no laughing emoticons. That is rather interesting; high school and even college are not challenges enough for Daria. Let's see if she can make Kevin get anywhere with this test. I like that she's using examples from real-life to help the guy.

Lol I love how he thinks DARIA knows EVERY touchdown or completion or whatever! "You remember that 2000 game against Polk High???" Yeah, we all remember that game, Kev.

It's not even vanity though, right? He's not thinking that HE is so great, it seems, and he's bragging about himself. More like, he's fascinated by the experience of his successes. He is actually reliving them, and trying to share his reminiscences with his tutor. Well, he thinks she also remembers them.

" "I wanted to take the guys partying, but Gibson said we couldn't party until the season was over! I was like, come on, we did a great job! ...." Omg I'm crying over here, laughing so hard! ------- Wow, and so Daria's goal is to (somehow) relate this silly experience of Kev's party with the American Revolution.

Which.... let me guess... the Colonists were the ones having the "Party" because they were so far away from Britain?

Cool. Wow, look at this. Look at the breakdown Daria comes up with. Cool, I wonder if this'll help. I have a feeling Kevin's essay is going to reference parties and coaches and him being George Washington! He'll get maybe a D. Still, that's better than an F!

Parliament also reminded me of P. Funk (Flashlight!) Saw them in Portland Oregon at the Crystal Ballroom in '98 or '99, one of the BEST shows! AT one point there was like 20 people onstage. George Clinton wasn't there (I think he split from them) but it didn't matter. That wasn't just a show, it was a party!

This post has been edited by Renee: Mar 24 2024, 04:31 PM

[WellTemperedClavier]

Removed

This post has been edited by WellTemperedClavier: Nov 13 2024, 07:44 AM