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Medium sized stories;
Sugar, or Fear and Loathing in South Cyrodiil, by Yorneim Hier; 29
The Fall of the West, by Hemitheon; 24
[CUaRRr]-akhh-trrals - or: A Horror of Misperception, by Squelchy Xerotripsis Underfoot; 18
The last dance, by Agent Griff; 17
Eyes of the heavens, by Kyle Cadena; 15
Tale of a scaled knight, by Jack Cloudy; 14
The Companion of Tuskus and Ahldmeria, by Jamie White; 10
Travels in Tamriel, by Thinalphiel; 9
Barricade, by Adam Spaay; 6
The Witchhunter's tale by Spydre; 6
Lucien's Luck, by Jordy; 6
Musketeer, by GeraldDuval; 3
Brother’s keeper, by Ioan Alexandru; 3
Bound, by Kindlemoth; 2
The cursed sewers, by Alisa Pankova; 2
Collywobbles, by C. Lop; 1

Long stories;
The story of Trey, Treydog; 30
We are merely shadows, Erika Webb; 28
The Tale of Matthias Etanne, Hadrian; 26
Bloodlust, The Metal Mallet; 16
Dance of the ja-Kha'jay, Lakyan; 12
The Accounts of Rayden - Redsrock; 2

A small note about the long story category here, originally there was a three way tie between the top three there, in the end we asked a fourth outside judge to break the tie. He only judged those three stories tied, not the rest of them and his top three has been added to the points to make the list you see above.

Short stories;
Forward unto Darkness, by Adventurous Putty; 27
Tedril's Journal, by Andraz Drcar; 24
My Heart, by Shades; 17
Escape, by MafuLeTrekkie; 16
The true hero, by Matteo Nobis Sandén; 15
A note of charcoal and blood, Mikedzines; 9
Andre Labouche, by Adoring Freak; 9
The justice of Almsivi, by Eldersphinx; 8
According to Nature, by Raggidman; 8
With Great Power by Kiln; 6
Cyrodiil, by Anon; 5
An Abacean Heartache, by Brian S.; 5
The Beggar's Tale, by Thomas Stanley; 4
Edesil, by Erka; 3
Part One: The Curse of Freedom; 3
Deception Doubled by Anonymous; 2
From Out of a Cimmerian Nightmare, by Red Door; 2
Black Rain and Churning Earth, by Mortazo; 2

Each judge made a top ten, and gave the stories in their top ten between 1 and 10 points. One exception was the long story category where there was only a top 5. So technically a story could get a maximum of 30 points, that is with 3 judges all choosing it as their first pick.



some old codger called Alexander asked for this

ONE POST ONLY PER PERSON - you can edit your post as you go!

This is a thread for each reader to talk about the entries he/she/it likes in the Competition.
The fun here is that you might end up praising the effort of your worst enemy or dissing your best friend as some of them are anonymous!

I've posted my comments in italics - ps since write-ups based on your character in-game are autobiographical = factual I am not adding those no matter how good they are wink.gif
Here is my shortlist building on the stories so far that currently interest me:

Short Stories
The Storm - by wasnteventrying
Pointus - by Ash Warbrick
The Justice of Almsivi - by Eldersphinx Eldersphinx satisfies as usual
Forward unto Darkness - by Adventurous Putty
Edesil the Explorer - by Erka
THE UNKNOWN JOURNAL OF ANDRE LABOUCHE - by: Adoring Freak - I didn't think this one was going to be.
A Note of charcoal and blood - Mikedzines - a brave effort to tackle a delicate subject. Who knows it may be the note of a madman, or of Vec veself
Paradox - by Pheonicia - lol
An Abecean Heartache - Part One: The Curse of Freedom - by Brian S - tricky subject, revenge
Escape - by MafuLeTrekkie - lol
According to Nature - by Raggidman - ok, so I like my own story - see below
The true hero - by Matteo Nobis Sandén - got me
From Out of a Cimmerian Nightmare - by Red Door - ouch
Black Rain and Churning Earth - by Mortazo - some of this is going somewhere, but some of it loses focus - looking forward to more writing by this new author
According to Nature - raggidman - wacko.gif how do I review my own story? Well try this = what I think of my own tale:
The poems are superior to the storyline as presented - and even people that I have 'experimented' on who have not played or heard of Elder Scrolls have commented that they are 'Musical' happy.gif = a rare quality in 'mere' poetry. There could be more 'action' and personal interaction in the story, but then it is a lore book as much as a story. There is a fair bit of detail - perhaps too much on certain aspects, though it generally has some cultural feel. Gramatically it would be hard to fault though there are still a few faults dry.gif The ending might be a bit testing for many. I am still unsure if the koan at the end will work for people generally, though that is full of significance commenting on the entire structure of the tale and beyond. I guess I would have to ask Japanese fans to comment on that

Med Stories

The Witchhunter's tale - by Spydre - decent read
Travels in Tamriel - by Thinalphiel - nicely written
Barricade - by Adam Spaay - way to gooo
The last dance - by Agent Griff - balanced
[CUaRRr]-akhh-trrals - or: A Horror of Misperception - Squelchy Xerotripsis Underfoot - beautifully written
The Tax Collector - by Brian S - just a little bit narsty that
Tale of a scaled knight - by Jack Cloudy - a turrible thing ta do ter anyone. I wants more
Ripples in the stream - James A. Cooley - unsure how to rate this - has a serious attempt at the deep lore
The Unwilling warrior - Robert Deauville - I give you respect despite the fact that you have included 'The Hero'. I am not altogether sure that the Horo in your tale is 'yourself' but rather your ideas of what 'The Hero' might be.
Adept's descent - by Zaid Walter - I might take you up on the offer of lunch smile.gif
The Unsung final - by Ben Wilson - nice one Ben
Hardplace - by The writing writer - well, that's one option
Eyes of the heavens - by Kyle Cadena - I have a small problem with this story, there are 2 moons!
Collywobbles - by C. Lop - a serious case of collywobbles that smile.gif
The cursed sewers - by Alisa Pankova - this is a brave effort by someone who is still trying to master English
Brother’s keeper - by Ioan Alexandru - yumm
Sugar, or Fear and Loathing in South Cyrodiil - by Yorneim Hier - more please
The King of Daenia - by Red Door - lol - cool
Dagothlivion - by Bqggz - lol - now that's a story. Bqggz, if I ever mod Tamriel then I want to place your story in Caldera and put a certain merchant back in his place so he can tell the story of how he came to be back again!
The Companion of Tuskus and Ahldmeria - by Jamie White - deftly and neatly handled
Bound - by Kindlemoth - this is quite a well written story cut short before its prime - I hope it is continued sometime.

Long Stories
We are merely shadows - by Erika Webb - Cruelty and brutality with a purpose! Too bad that little bit at the start is so messy by comparison with the rest
Heraldry and Heretics - by Steven Donald Wimer III - there are some terrible gramatical errors here, but it is still a good read - was just getting into it , and I do not want to have to wait for the next competition to read the sequal.
- Bloodlust - by The Metal Mallet - Obviously I am enjoying it, but there are a large number of plot/character perception inconsistencies and also it is clear at places that the writer has made changes either while writing or correcting and lost track of what he had and had not changed - one good reason to let proof-reading, writing and editing be done separately. Further, there is much good to the point writing in both pacing of plot and character developement and portayal here but there are also language mistakes. By this I mean that a word may be inapropriate to the sense that is being conveyed - the sort of errors I normally associate with someone who is writing in a second/taught language. I consider many of these mistakes to be unnecessary as this writer is clearly capable of dealing with such errors.
Finally got to the end - whew - a powerful ending fit for the length and complexity of the tale, but my earlier comments stand. At times it was touch and go whether I would bother to continue. I am glad I did, but not pleased that such potentially good writing is marred by both carelessness and haste.

- The Tale of Matthias Etanne - by Hadrian - this is interesting - especially as with a bit of polishing it would work quite well as a starting point for a new character. In writing it the author has drawn on his playing experience, but not in such a way as to interfere with anyone else's experience. I do like the fact that he has his two NPCs disagreeing with each other about what has been happening with the Nerevarine because this show consideration fo rhis readers who will also have their own experiences in that regard. Like others he really needs to proof read his own stories for mistakes if he intends to be entering them in writing competitions.

Unread list below - heyy - making progress here - down to the long stories! Only four to go now and then I will add a few more notes and impressions. I think I really have to invent some technical terms that I can add to th edescriptions such as: SP = spelling Phr = phrasing Engl = non-English usae of language Cont = continuity errors etc ... might savew a LOT of time.

Can't say I have come accross a total loser so far - remember this is just my taste - there are some well written stories that I have passed by because their styles did not appeal to me personally, though they were good enough for a place in a mod and natch, when I hit one sentance that tells me a story is autobiographical I exit no matter how well written it is because I am posting stories here!

Anyways paragenic, welcome to the competition commentary thread - I see you have been busy biggrin.gif
... and no worries about pinning this thread. The competition is very much on many peoples' minds, but other stuff is arriving - plus I reckon a lot of folks will be takin their time to enjoy the competitiion entries, but they will get to a point where they want to comment, and then I hope this thread will rise.

See you have been fleshing out your commentary there paragenic goodjob.gif

I have rather a lot of entries listed above ... I guess there were rather a lot of interestin' stories.

long stories still to be read:
The accounts of Rayden, by Redsrock. -> File
Dance of the ja-Kha'jay, by Lakyan. -> File
The story of Trey, by Treydog. -> File
Knife, by Brian S.. -> File
QUOTE(paragenic @ May 3 2008, 07:22 PM) *

QUOTE(raggidman @ May 2 2008, 08:53 PM) *

This is a thread for each reader to talk about the entries he/she/it likes in the Competition.

Sorry raggidman, sad.gif minque beat you to it with the Commentasaurus thread she started several days ago.

No actually that thread was not created with the intention of providing comments on competition entries. It was created for the purpose of commenting in general, or on several stories at once, that are in the forum section smile.gif

The Competition is now judged. Kudos to the winners. goodjob.gif
Now have your say here on the stories themselves!
Lucien's Luck, by Jordy, brought tears to my eyes.

It seems I have a kindred spirit here. <3
Adoring Freak
QUOTE(raggidman @ May 2 2008, 01:53 PM) *

THE UNKNOWN JOURNAL OF ANDRE LABOUCHE - by: Adoring Freak - I didn't think this one was going to be.

I don't want to sound rude at all, but could you expand on that? Just so I can understand for next time.
QUOTE(kementari @ May 27 2008, 01:25 AM) *

Lucien's Luck, by Jordy, brought tears to my eyes.

It seems I have a kindred spirit here. <3

Well, thank you very much! biggrin.gif I didn't expect that. I've just finished a post on the main Competition thread where I said that I realised my story wasn't fully original, and was written very much from a Lucien-fan point of view, therefore it wasn't a surprise to me that it lost out to stories more original and perhaps more suited to a wider audience. (As I said elsewhere, I basically wrote it an as outlet for my feelings after Lucien's death, which shocked and upset me probably more than any fictional character-death I've experienced.)

But it's lovely to hear you say that. Thanks again cool.gif
QUOTE(Jordy @ May 26 2008, 06:26 PM) *

Lucien's death, which shocked and upset me probably more than any fictional character-death I've experienced


That sequence just ruined me. I had been trying to spread out the questlines so that I could write about them, but the last Dead Drop ignited my curiosity (I had made it a hobby of my character's to break into people's houses and steal only information - keys, letters, etc., and I had actually realized that the last Dead Drop target was a DB member prior to getting the kill quest), and I did the entire rest of the DB questline in one sitting.

Afterward, I just walked away from the game. For four months, I couldn't bring myself to turn it on.

For what it's worth, your story brought back every trace of those memories, and for that, I thank you. (Although now I feel like I should never attempt fanfiction again. tongue.gif)
Kementari, I'll PM you on the subject of the Brotherhood quests, since I'd love to talk about them further but don't want to hijack this thread smile.gif

OK, so: I'm really too tired too comment on every story...but the ones that stood out the most for me were: Barricade, Sugar... ,Forward unto Darkness, and My Heart. This is because they dealt with things that interest me personally, and because I felt they were well written with a smooth and confident style.

No disrespect at all to the other stories. As raggidman already said, there were no total losers, not at all. I'm hopelessly busy at the moment but I'd like to re-read them all again in more detail soon, especially the long ones which I only got a brief impression of.

QUOTE(Jordy @ May 27 2008, 12:23 PM) *

OK, so: I'm really too tired too comment on every story...but the ones that stood out the most for me were: Barricade, Sugar... ,Forward unto Darkness, and My Heart. This is because they dealt with things that interest me personally, and because I felt they were well written with a smooth and confident style.

I expected nobody would like it because it was based on part of the main quest of Daggerfall, and I figured most people hadn't played it. There is a handmaiden to the queen who gives you information if you kill her brother the werewolf. All the locations and characters were really in Daggerfall as well.

I also thought it would raise eyebrows because there were four rapes, one baby eating, as well as several counts of physical and mental torture. I really wanted to name it "The Remorseless Fang", but I felt that was directly ripping off Moby thermos and I'd catch hell for it.
Ah, you're talking to a longtime Elder Scrolls fan here. Daggerfall was my first, and is still one of my favourite, RPGs, so your story brought back a lot of memories. My current PC won't run DF so it's been a while, but I remember Cyndassa and the hunt for the werewolf very well smile.gif

Again, a really good job. I reckon most of the judges are well versed in the older ES games too...
As I've said I'll come to reading the entries after my study obligations come to an end smile.gif

So far I have only read Forward unto Darkness, by Adventurous Putty which beat mine. I must say I realy liked the story!
What I liked: The characters you can meet in the game. And also the event it takes place just before the main event in the game. Who has not wondered what was the Emperor doing up so late in the night just before coming into your cell? Wonderful idea!
What I did not like: I found it a bit hard to read at the beginning describing the place, which seems unimportant, but later I realized it came well along with the whole story!

I will read other entires and will post my opinions on them, but I need some time ...
Agent Griff
Paragenic said my entry (The Last Dance) had either a disjointed plot or no plot whatsoever, and the original poster said my story was balanced.

Either way, I'm extremely pleased with the way this turned out. My story came out fourth, with 17 points, and before Jack's story, Tale of a Scaled Knight.

In your face, Jack! tongue.gif

I kid, I kid. I congratulate both the judges and the competitors, however. For the judges, I am sure it was something inhuman to read so many stories in such a short time-span, and for the competitors, I congratulate those who ranked well and I urge those who didn't, to show us their true worth in a future competition, if it is ever to be held again.

That is the best way to show people that you were wronged. Outdo yourself, and prove your true worth.

Once again, congratulations to everyone.
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